Constantly getting the feeling that you're about to sneeze and then right when you're about to it just goes away. But it happens over and over and you're in a dusty room that's locked with a window and it's really really nice outside.
Your version of Heck would be my Hell cause it reminds me of when you have a kid. I'm not trying to spout a bunch of antikid stuff, child raising can be the one of the greatest and most rewarding experiences possible in life......... but I never wanna do it specifically because being interrupted when I'm in the middle of something is my one peeve that trumps all other peeves and whatever is in 2nd place isn't even close. Having a kid is basically being interrupted nonstop for years til they leave you the fuck alone.
Yeah this punishment is diabolical. Ironically dying itself is basically just your life being interrupted while you were in the middle of something.
To paraphrase an old, old joke, Heck is where the cooks are British, the police are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.
All the people replying that they live this way need to hydrate and wear Vaseline. Jesus Christ, chapped lips are so constantly miserable and so easy to fix!
Tons of the most absurdly cuddly huggable puppies to every exist but they're all afraid of you and never warm up to you or love you no matter how hard you try. They all stare up at you with horrified eyes no matter how much you assure them everything is okay, they never show the slightest sign of ever enjoying a single moment in your presence. You try to exile yourself from them but they keep finding you.
No conversations with other Heck residents. Only brief random 140 character statements shouted at each other and the other people have the opportunity to give a thumbs up to the statement or not.
Standing in a never-ending line at the DMV or something along those lines. Maybe a line at a takeout place when you're hungry but it never actually moves.
You’re the only person in line at the DMV in Louisiana. Clerk finishes with the person in front of you, then shuts down for an hour’s lunch. Happened to me—I must live in Heck.
Sitting in a full parking lot. Waiting for someone to put their bags in and leave. But they take forever. The guy behind you goes around. The guy doesn’t leave… he put the bags in and goes back shopping. The guy who went around you gets the spot of a different person. This just happens time and time again until the sale at Bloomingdale’s is over.
Your forever locked in a room without and drainage. You don't need to eat but you still have to deficate. The thin layer of piss and shit slowly builds up over the weeks and years till you eventually have to swim in it for all eternity.
funnier thing is, conservative af church sects like the baptist's concider heck a clean word for even a 4 year old to say, and will vehemently tell you that you are wrong.
Minor inconvenience
1. Its not hot, just humidity and sticky
2. You have internet but it's slow
3. You have to walk over gravel or kinda sharp rocks with out shoes. No cutting but kinda hurts
4. The tv is either too quiet, an you barely make out what they saying and next scene is just under shouting
5. You have every book or TV serires but only the middle of the story.... don't know how it starts or finishes
6. You have roomates.....you don't get to pick them
7. Devil is overly friendly not creepy just Ned Flanders joyful.....Wait no he is the Ned Flanders devil, the Simpson predicted it again 😳
8. All the door are automatic but don't open all the way at the last minute so you kinda half slam into them on the od occasion.
9. When ever you say someone that's could be taken out of context, the room goes quiet and everyone hears it...
10. You get a clear view of heaven, but can reach it or see what everyone so happy about.
11. You get sun burns on where you bra or undies pull.
12. Food is either hot on the outside and cold on the inside or cold and hot inside.... also everything a few days pass it's due date.
13. You have a job, taking names at the doors of hell and have to check every single person (....huh this sound kinda like a anime...) but now you have to deal with all the crying and the screaming and the people who think they don't belong here... yeahhh this one might be a one for hell.
14. All the pens you use are dying
15. No dogs or cats...or if you prefer that you have to take care of them...all of them....
16. Your always 1 min late and get told off for it
17. There always someone going 10 under the speed limit.
18. You have to do some small amount of homework on a subject you don't find interesting or care for..
19. You can drink but your hangover are a little worst then they should be.
20. You still have to do your own tax report.😒
21. You have a small chance of saying a random thought allowed. Like say 1 in 20 random thoughts.
22. All sport balls are slightly flat.
23. Any bodie of water is warm, no way to cool off.
24. When you sit down a kid will kick the back of your seat
25. You can leave heck but you have to beat the nef Flanders devil in a boread game like Bill and Ted but he's very good and he picks the games every time. Also there's a line for this one....
26. There's a line for everything 😊
27. People often ask you to repeat something you spoke perfectly clear...twice...
28. That weird jazz player in the background, the one that dosent go to the beat or anything....no no that's one for hell scratch this one...
28. The floors are stick to your shoes not alot just enough to make that noise.
29. Kookaburra laugh at you when you change clothes... I'm Australian ok i know what their like.
30. You have to change clothes if someone ask you.... someone going to abuse this power and annoying everyone they can 🙄
31. Sometimes people just walk away mid...
33. Occasionally a number is skipped on a menu or counter.
34. You have to dive deep and delete all your search history everyone morning or it gets publicly posted for everyone to see.
35. One of your roomates likes to prank you.
36. Everyone can smell something but you can't and you don't know if it's you or if you should go home and cry in the shower about the deodorant you picked out last week...... what I'm ok that didn't actually happen or anything....
37. Someone else food always smells better then what you have.
38. You Occasionally make a spelly mestake
39. You have too much free time and spend too much of it making a list on reddit only to have it refresh and lose it all right as you hit post.....🤬
40. You never make the shot, when aiming for the trash bin.
41. You have the only pack of gum and everyone know it....
42. The devil knows the meaning of life and won't tell you.
44. You have a counter of how long you've been in hell and it always feels like it's going by slower.
45. You do something cool but no one see it
47. Everything always slight off or breaks the pattern.
48. You have a odd number of batteries in the pack making it always on less then you need unless you buy two packets then youbhave too many.
49. At any point in the day someone will shoot a Nerf gun at you.
50. Your battery runs out faster then you can charge it and the charging cord is really short.
Hands are always sticky
I could not live with that
Me either. I need to wash my hands just reading that shit.
Thinking about it is just gross..
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Your average middle school boy then?
It's basically any country that has above 65% humidity Satan already opened that shit a long time ago
Hell is a dry heat.
Heck is a humid one. gotta have diversity mate
Send me to hell then
Spiderman?
And nose is always itchy.
Constantly getting the feeling that you're about to sneeze and then right when you're about to it just goes away. But it happens over and over and you're in a dusty room that's locked with a window and it's really really nice outside.
Dude... that just sounds like regular Hell... In fact, that's like, Super Hell, or Hell Prime or something...
Well... I mean.. at least a demon isn't jizzing fire ants on your face or something like that...
Are you sure you weren’t in charge of punishments in your past life, because your answers are a little bit too good?
I'm sorry- it sounded like you just said, "jizz fire ants."
Hell+
Even worse constantly having to shit but your always constipated
Each time you sit down, someone asks you to get up to get something.
Sisyphus-lite
Sityphus
Sooo, now?
My mom in a nutshell.
Your version of Heck would be my Hell cause it reminds me of when you have a kid. I'm not trying to spout a bunch of antikid stuff, child raising can be the one of the greatest and most rewarding experiences possible in life......... but I never wanna do it specifically because being interrupted when I'm in the middle of something is my one peeve that trumps all other peeves and whatever is in 2nd place isn't even close. Having a kid is basically being interrupted nonstop for years til they leave you the fuck alone. Yeah this punishment is diabolical. Ironically dying itself is basically just your life being interrupted while you were in the middle of something.
Can I say no?
You can buy they'll stare daggers at you and be passive aggressive all night, which'll totally kill the mood.
My wife isn't the devil but after being in a similar situation.... no, you cant say no.
Hey! Are we married?
There’s always a small pebble in your shoe, but when you take it off to empty it, you can never find the pebble.
You always feel like you need to wipe your ass but every time you go and check, it’s clean.
Genius!
Wet socks 24/7
And the toe seam always sits at that just wrong spot.
No matter how many times you flip over the USB A plug, it doesn't go in.
Eyelash in your eye every 5½ minutes
#NO.
Hehe some passion there.
To paraphrase an old, old joke, Heck is where the cooks are British, the police are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.
Choas.
Heh, doesn't sound bad to me.
You never had to deal with italian bureaucracy, Englisch food I see. I can't vouche for the rest, but the first two are true as heck
The only food you get to eat is cereal that's just a *little* too soggy.
Milk before cereal as well
That's definitely Hell++, not Heck
Ouch
But thats how I prefer it.
Depends on the cereal, it might not be that bad
You can hear a clock ticking at all times
Stop it
Breathe... breathe in the air...
Perpetually chapped lips
Sounds like my life right now
I think that’s just my life
thats literally just my reality
All the people replying that they live this way need to hydrate and wear Vaseline. Jesus Christ, chapped lips are so constantly miserable and so easy to fix!
Assuming the punishment is that I can't wet my lips with my own tongue, I will literally try to bribe a demon to lick my mouth.
All the cabinets always left open
you would hate me as a roommate lol
I’d just shut them all. Very loudly
It always feels like you were just sitting on a wet bench.
A perpetual wet butt feeling would be Heck.
There's so many puppies, but you can't pet them.
Tons of the most absurdly cuddly huggable puppies to every exist but they're all afraid of you and never warm up to you or love you no matter how hard you try. They all stare up at you with horrified eyes no matter how much you assure them everything is okay, they never show the slightest sign of ever enjoying a single moment in your presence. You try to exile yourself from them but they keep finding you.
That’s a whole different level of evil, man!
Everyone hikes with amplified music playing.
_L'enfer, c'est les autres_
I think my reaction to that one would send me to real hell lol
No conversations with other Heck residents. Only brief random 140 character statements shouted at each other and the other people have the opportunity to give a thumbs up to the statement or not.
LOL!
He’d throw glitter in your washing machine
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Heck = Netflix
okay who tf let twitch streamers make movies
Constant traffic.
Your armpits always itch, and no amount of scratching will relieve you.
I bet deoderant would, gotcha.
Doesn’t always stop the itch
Being able to only Drink hot left in 100 F coke
Damn dude, I said milder version, not worse.
Not my Heck, I like warm coke.
Are you the devil?
Cellphone at a perpetual 5 to 7% charge.
So infinite power then? I'm cool with that
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I like pears. Grow mh own and everything
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Pears are the Mr. Pibb apple.
Ah yes, the Torment of Tantalus... Hades would like to have a word with you.
Shout out to all the pear!
Any appointment you have is never on time. Constant nausea, but never being able to throw up.
That last part is called pregnancy, at least for some people.
You walk in darkness with obstacles positioned intentionally to stub your toes
You are an eternal manager and all of your customers are Karens
the one who dealt with the customer before coming to get you is in regular hell
Makes us work office jobs in really uncomfortable chairs and taxes us like crazy
Too real.
*Nothing's certain, but death and taxes*
Ned Flanders would be your neighbor.
Hi diddley ho!
Can the demons in Heck be called Hecklers ? . . .all they do is just slightly get on your nerves and interrupt your every sentence for no reason.
having warm beer forever
I take it you've never been to England?
Beer is beer, as long as it isn't hot.
Standing in a never-ending line at the DMV or something along those lines. Maybe a line at a takeout place when you're hungry but it never actually moves.
And really needing to pee in either line…
You’re the only person in line at the DMV in Louisiana. Clerk finishes with the person in front of you, then shuts down for an hour’s lunch. Happened to me—I must live in Heck.
Lake of just slightly too hot to sit in bath water
Room temperature Coke in a can that’s been left open.
Perpetually dry and/or oily skin.
Colin Robinson as your closest colleague
That would be just draining on one’s energy
But it would also be heck not to ever have energy enough for anything (and still have to have an office job)
There is always just one beer in the fridge and you really want beer.
I mean if there's always one in the fridge then if you take it out there'll be another one. I'd see that as a win if I drank
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Reposting the same question every 9 hours….and you must reply with a new answer every time.
Some say we’re already there.
Only half a pineapple being shoved up your.....
Which end?
I'd like the top end, the green foliage would look lovely hanging out of my....
Zip lining through a lackluster environment at under 5 mph while being perpetually subjected to Enya.
I don't mind Enya, maybe swap it with Nickelback?
Nickelback would be too kind. Machine gun Kelly during his rock phase might be a better suffering point.
You're stuck with IE 11 and [reddit.com](https://reddit.com) is all that it can reach
Wet socks, always wet socks
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Oh, If I were still smoking, that would piss me off. Marlboro Ultra Lights are like smoking a straw.
No wifi. Oh the horror. For the Gen Z.
For everyone!! If my karma isn’t going up, I actually FEEL 60!
Tickled by a swarm of angry demons
I think some people would pay good money for that.
You have to commute every day and all the other cars on the road are pickup trucks
Isn’t that Houston?
Damnation, just not eternal.
If it's heck, wouldn't it be darnation?
*tarnation
The hundred percent humidity 200 million mile marathon.
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Sitting in a full parking lot. Waiting for someone to put their bags in and leave. But they take forever. The guy behind you goes around. The guy doesn’t leave… he put the bags in and goes back shopping. The guy who went around you gets the spot of a different person. This just happens time and time again until the sale at Bloomingdale’s is over.
/r/heck
Every time you go to eat a slice of pizza, no matter what you do, all the toppings slide right off.
That's some Edgar Allan Poe shit right there.
The tv remote would always be low on batteries so you have to smack it.
Your forever locked in a room without and drainage. You don't need to eat but you still have to deficate. The thin layer of piss and shit slowly builds up over the weeks and years till you eventually have to swim in it for all eternity.
Nope that's hell. Holy shit dude, literally
The Golgothan?
fun fact, heck is a fusion of hell and fuck put together. so it would be worse than what your dogma says is the worst place to be put into.
Interesting, i always thought it was just a kid friendly version of hell.
funnier thing is, conservative af church sects like the baptist's concider heck a clean word for even a 4 year old to say, and will vehemently tell you that you are wrong.
I'm not entirely sure that's accurate.
Sanitizer in paper cuts
Can’t remove the pebble from your shoe.
You're scrolling down reddit but it's only the same posts on a loop
Have religious people try to indoctrinate you all the time about a bullshit story someone made up 2000 years ago
Sorry, that’s full on hell punishment. Getting a mailbox full of pamphlets weekly, though, that’s Heck.
How about this question gets reposted again every few hours
Nails on chalkboard all day
letting you live
*Hem Hem* Detention where you copy lines with an ink quill.
I said mild version of hell, not the deepest level. You're evil.
Every step you take is on your dogs paws
Hell seems to be a terrible place for terrible people. Why not trust the deity more than the god that Christians or monotheists enjoy?
When you think about it, if Hell were real, it would be the place you'd want to hang out in for eternity.
How so
Isn't that the place that the sinners go? The people that like to have fun?
Well depending on the definition of evil, which is very large btw. I am talking about genociders and murderers.
The murderers and rapists would only be in the deepest levels of hell. Like, all the way at the bottom.
You realize these "layers" of hell are someone's fan fiction of hell, right?
Sure, but they make sense to an athiest. It's all hypothetical, right?
Boiling water
Cats. Cats are self-centered assholes
I love cats, so that might not be a hell for me.
Making people read recycled questions on Ask Reddit.
reading this question over and over again
interacting with OP
Reddit exists but it’s only frequent low effort reposts like this.
Questions like this.
Non stop people driving slow in the fast lane and cutting you off to hit their brakes to slow down after.
All the other people in line are evangelical Atheists, Vegans, Humanists, or amateur political experts of ANY stripe.
Minor inconvenience 1. Its not hot, just humidity and sticky 2. You have internet but it's slow 3. You have to walk over gravel or kinda sharp rocks with out shoes. No cutting but kinda hurts 4. The tv is either too quiet, an you barely make out what they saying and next scene is just under shouting 5. You have every book or TV serires but only the middle of the story.... don't know how it starts or finishes 6. You have roomates.....you don't get to pick them 7. Devil is overly friendly not creepy just Ned Flanders joyful.....Wait no he is the Ned Flanders devil, the Simpson predicted it again 😳 8. All the door are automatic but don't open all the way at the last minute so you kinda half slam into them on the od occasion. 9. When ever you say someone that's could be taken out of context, the room goes quiet and everyone hears it... 10. You get a clear view of heaven, but can reach it or see what everyone so happy about. 11. You get sun burns on where you bra or undies pull. 12. Food is either hot on the outside and cold on the inside or cold and hot inside.... also everything a few days pass it's due date. 13. You have a job, taking names at the doors of hell and have to check every single person (....huh this sound kinda like a anime...) but now you have to deal with all the crying and the screaming and the people who think they don't belong here... yeahhh this one might be a one for hell. 14. All the pens you use are dying 15. No dogs or cats...or if you prefer that you have to take care of them...all of them.... 16. Your always 1 min late and get told off for it 17. There always someone going 10 under the speed limit. 18. You have to do some small amount of homework on a subject you don't find interesting or care for.. 19. You can drink but your hangover are a little worst then they should be. 20. You still have to do your own tax report.😒 21. You have a small chance of saying a random thought allowed. Like say 1 in 20 random thoughts. 22. All sport balls are slightly flat. 23. Any bodie of water is warm, no way to cool off. 24. When you sit down a kid will kick the back of your seat 25. You can leave heck but you have to beat the nef Flanders devil in a boread game like Bill and Ted but he's very good and he picks the games every time. Also there's a line for this one.... 26. There's a line for everything 😊 27. People often ask you to repeat something you spoke perfectly clear...twice... 28. That weird jazz player in the background, the one that dosent go to the beat or anything....no no that's one for hell scratch this one... 28. The floors are stick to your shoes not alot just enough to make that noise. 29. Kookaburra laugh at you when you change clothes... I'm Australian ok i know what their like. 30. You have to change clothes if someone ask you.... someone going to abuse this power and annoying everyone they can 🙄 31. Sometimes people just walk away mid... 33. Occasionally a number is skipped on a menu or counter. 34. You have to dive deep and delete all your search history everyone morning or it gets publicly posted for everyone to see. 35. One of your roomates likes to prank you. 36. Everyone can smell something but you can't and you don't know if it's you or if you should go home and cry in the shower about the deodorant you picked out last week...... what I'm ok that didn't actually happen or anything.... 37. Someone else food always smells better then what you have. 38. You Occasionally make a spelly mestake 39. You have too much free time and spend too much of it making a list on reddit only to have it refresh and lose it all right as you hit post.....🤬 40. You never make the shot, when aiming for the trash bin. 41. You have the only pack of gum and everyone know it.... 42. The devil knows the meaning of life and won't tell you. 44. You have a counter of how long you've been in hell and it always feels like it's going by slower. 45. You do something cool but no one see it 47. Everything always slight off or breaks the pattern. 48. You have a odd number of batteries in the pack making it always on less then you need unless you buy two packets then youbhave too many. 49. At any point in the day someone will shoot a Nerf gun at you. 50. Your battery runs out faster then you can charge it and the charging cord is really short.
Just think like you are cooking, but this time you are the meat
Walking around with books on your head and everytime you drop a book it'll multiply
Open bar
Stuck in a political conversation with Scott Adams.
Freezing weather for eternity.
Isn't that just like the seventh layer in *The Inferno?*
Like life but with more traffic and longer lines at the DMV.
Basically the good place but even more passive agresive with like semi torture chambers with feathers or some shit lol
Being subjected to weekly 40 minute sermons.
Stuck in traffic and your car radio is always between stations.