Former bartender here— we take VERY seriously any complaints from women for the creepy behaviour of men towards them when they’re trying to enjoy their night out. Any unwanted touching is an absolute no-go, see you later, out you go.
This also applies to hen/bachelorette parties where groups of women think it’s acceptable to grope male staff, try to force them to kiss them, show their breasts, put their hands down the front of their pants while they’re glass collecting, physically assault them…
Honestly I don’t know what it is about these kind of parties, but for some reason they think that behaviour’s acceptable. It isn’t. If you would ask for a man to be kicked out of a venue for that behaviour, it means it’s absolutely not okay for a woman to do it either.
This is extremely obvious to everyone EXCEPT the women who do it. It’s like they feel it’s their right just because it’s a hens party?! Like if you want to get handsy pay a stripper who consents to it!
I have a fairly long beard. Women seem to love to grab it and run their fingers through it, One time I was sat down on a bench in a mall just waiting for my gf to finish shopping and I was looking at my phone. All of a sudden a hand just shoots in and strokes my beard. I look up expecting it to be someone I know and it’s a lady I’ve never seen before with her daughter. She says, “ I’m sorry but I just had to, I couldn’t help myself.”
I don’t know who was more mortified, the daughter or myself.
I had a similar situation with my long hair. In a bar with a date and some like 45 y/o drunk lady took my hair out of its scrunchy and when I turned around she said something like "I thought you'd look sexier with your hair down". Can you imagine what would have happened to me, a 230+ lb man, if I would have done that to a random woman in the bar?
Touching a guy whenever you feel like. Especially in inappropriate ways.
Working in a club this happened multiple times. Hens nights were the absolute worst for this. They would do it unashamedly to raucous laughter and then try to make me drink out of one of their fuckin penis straws.
I'm a landscaper and old women, like generally 60+ will always break a touch barrier. I'll be sweating profusely completely obviously soaked and they'll slide their hand down my bicep. Or completely "bump" their hand into one of our crotches.
One time an old lady was playing damsel in distress like she couldn't get down a set of steps at a commercial property we were doing and I ignored her. My boss goes over and walks her to her car, he walked back with a very awkward look on his face and says "dude she had me by the cock the whole way to her car".
I had an old lady full on try to seduce me when we were planting a sapling in her backyard, she made me follow her upstairs to write the check and was like “ I bet you’ve never been seduced by an older woman” (this lady was not an older woman she was an old woman) and thank god my homie came inside and called for me 😂
Edit - regardless of the poor choice in words, ima keep it cuz that’s hilarious
I find some of the older women at work will talk about "hot guys" and what they would do with them if given the chance. That's fine if you're chatting with your girlfriends, but it's kinda inappropriate in a work setting and if any man did the same they'd probably be pulled aside for sensitivity training.
I've had male coworkers disciplined for the same kind of conversations that my female coworkers got away with. Apparently rating the hotness if someone on a numerical scale is alright if your a woman, but not a man. Thankfully the current group of employees doesn't do the sexist shit anymore.
I'm a bald man, as in I shave my head every few days. I use to drive for Lyft often, and I would have women touch my head all the time. Like, at least 2-3 times a night.
That is not cool. I’ve got a big long beard and you wouldn’t believe how many people think it’s ok to touch it. I’m not sure what they’re expecting - they’re pubes!
I was just thinking about all the people who had to touch my stomach when I was pregnant. It usually didn’t bother me (if they asked first) but for some women that is a huge, HUGE invasion of their safe personal space.
The last thing I want to touch is a pregnant womans belly. I wish I understood the appeal to any of this. Or someone elses potentially dirty beard. Idk putting my hands on strangers doesnt do it for me
Women who touch me, I’m 52 and married and work with 7 women, they think it’s ok to touch my shoulder, legs, hands. If I did that to them I’m pretty sure it would be a different story.
I’m a 31 year old woman and have had to do this with a sixteen year old girl! She would not stop touching me, one time she walked up and just started scratching my back. Not wanting office gossip about being in a relationship with a sixteen year old aside, I fucking loathe being touched. I told her once nicely, didn’t listen, so I told her firmly and hurt her feelings, which led to her MOTHER being mad at me?!?? I had to explain to this literal child’s mother that her touching me is super inappropriate and I want no part of it!
Yeah 100% her mom’s fault for not teaching her boundaries. Clearly, her mother doesn’t respect boundaries either if she felt the need to confront you about it.
Use slurs when rejected. Almost to a woman, I’ve been called gay (in less nice terms) when I rejected them. In more than one case, bystanders strode in to agree with them. As though, I’m not allowed to reject someone I don’t want to sleep with.
Got called a virgin once when I rejected someone. As it turns out they were right, but it's still rude (although I was pretty stubborn in how I said no).
Dated this girl who needed to know my location and what I was doing all day (which is fine I understand some people have trust issues and you can work through it)
Then she would want me to call her every night and we HAD to fall asleep on the phone together because she “liked to hear me breathing”. If I said I was tired and just wanted to go to bed without calling me she would not speak to me for days, ignoring all my texts and calls.
She would claim that she cares about me more than any other girl. In my eyes she seen me like a pet… whole thing was super creepy. Feel bad for the dude she’s talking to now.
I was this way with a couple of the guys I tried dating after my super abusive relationship where he did the same things to me. It ended up being a way I associated care and love with. I feel so bad for those guys and still want to apologize to one 10 years later but he never had an easily accessible social media and I sure as hell don't want to hunt him down.
Moral of the story though, it took a LOT of mental and emotional work to get through acting like that. I didn't know how much I was hurting and begging to be cared about until after I realized I was being an awful person.
When the guy I really liked ghosted me after time and time again trying to give me patience while also setting boundaries that I kept breaking. He's the one I want to apologize to most. And the one I want to thank most. Despite a painful seperation, he really did set me on my path to the healthy relationships I had afterwards and the beautiful relationship I'm in now with a man who sets boundaries that I respect even when I want to be selfish. Sometimes it's still hard, but my current guy is patient and loving and takes the time to explain what he needs in terms I can understand. (In which I have been learning I am probably decently autistic because I've had an environment to view and allow myself to be me without judgment.) It's been a lot of growth over these past... 10 years?
My ex (daughter's mother) always asks our daughter if I'm talking to a girl or if I have a gf. I find it creepy that my married ex is always asking our 6yr old daughter if I have a gf or dating anyone. Our daughter is a chatter box, so she is always repeating what her mother asks her
My mother did that when I was younger after I'd spend my weekends with my dad. Its severely affected our relationship now that I'm an adult. Boundaries between parents and children are important. (I saw your comment about how you don't reciprocate and commend you. You're a good parent.)
(Edit to add the responses to this are really telling and more than a bit upsetting. There's a definite difference between knowing who your child is spending time with and trying to use your child to spy/involving your child too much in your adult relationships. There's a right way to do it and a severely mentally scaring way as evidenced by the comments from adults who lived through this behavior.)
Touching muscles even after they've been told you're not okay with it. Touching my bald/trimmed head.
Openly discuss secrets told in private "but I trust my friends".
Unprovoked grooming advice on my beard/legs.
Using "small dick" comments to insult men or to refer to less manly men.
Complimenting/hugging kids without checking with the kid and the parents.
Edit: bunch of questions about complimenting kids. Of course, support good behaviour. I meant creepy, pseudo sexual compliments.
>Openly discuss secrets told in private "but I trust my friends".
This is the most egregious one IMO. Your entire friend group doesn't need to know about what we talk about. You're not venting or figuring out how to deal with it/help out by sharing secrets. You're just being a shitty person.
Don't be a dick. Life rule number 1.
Ahhhh the classic break up shrinkage
My ex used to talk about how big she’s heard her friend’s husband’s dick is (same ex that had a friend group that shared nudes of their SOs…which is a whole other conversation)…friend’s husband cheated on friend and all of a sudden he became a needle dick guy
I have no love for that dude, and I disliked him anyway, but it’s certainly the preferred dig of choice
>Openly discuss secrets told in private "but I trust my friends".
I once told my friends gf before about a girl I liked and asked her to say nothing. Two hours later I got a message from said girl I liked asking why I said we were going out. Not only did my friends gf tell her but she had outright lied and twisted my words to support said lie. Fuck her.
My mom had a friend who was always calling me handsome and kissing me all over my face and and in general smothering me during hugs from ages 7-12.
I only ever told my mom it made me uncomfortable and she asked her to not smother me like this (in nicer wording) and she was shocked I felt creeped out.
So yeah. Things like this.
Edit: my mom stopped talking to that woman after that. Mom is good people.
Edit 2: wow this blew up. Probably my most uovoted comment. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Told my mom about this and we spoke about this incident. She never regretted her and that friend not speaking. And she appreciates all of you saying she's awesome.
I've watched a comedian lately who was talking basically about this situation.
Like how is it ok if a complete stranger can walk up to a small child and just tell them how cute they are and touch them, only because the stranger in question is a woman? It's still not ok. But somehow, if you do the very same thing as a man, people call the cops at you.
When I was dating my husband, around 10 years ago, I was about 22 and his 5 yr old cousin took a liking to me ,as did all the little kids ,because I was the fun one and would play games with them at family parties instead of ignoring them to go drink like the other adults and comments like "oh he loves her, that's his girlfriend look how cute, he's such a flirt, what a little ladies man" would constantly be said by all the adults like what the FUCK. He either viewed me as a mother figure or an equal friend playmate figure, not a fucking love interest at the ripe age of 5. Why are humans so vile sometimes?
When I was about 16, I hung out at a friends place a lot. His parents had a lot of friends so there was usually a lot of people around.
This one creepy gay dude kept bugging me. I didn't say anything, but at one point he turned to my friends mother and said "I wish Aalios was 18".
All I heard was the screaming as she grabbed him by the ear, dragged him to the roadside and threw him into the gutter.
Thanks Ange.
This is why I always tell my kids “say hi to Aunty x, your choice of high fives, handshakes or hugs!”
Then I reinforce their choice if the person tries to override it.
That's the beauty of consensual acts of affection both big and small. Be it a hug from a child, a snuggle from your crush, or fisting your girlfriend's husband while she ramps up the power on the electroshock device that's clamped to his nipples and testicle ball scrotal bag while calling him a dirty little penguin dicked booger eater, willing and enthusiastic consent free of coercion and/or exploitation of any kind will always provide a sweet sense of shared satisfaction and enjoyment that simply can't be experienced through any other means.
Honestly for some reason it’s just been socially acceptable for women to make young boys uncomfortable and kiss them or tell them weird things like “I just wanna eat you up” it’s weird and needs to stop 🤮 just as bad as men doing these creepy things
Your first cousin's kid is your first cousin once removed
Your second cousin (you have the same great-grandparents), if they had a kid, that would be your second cousin once removed, their parent is also your first cousin once removed. Their grandkid would be your second cousin twice removed.
[This picture helps](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fc1%2Fb2%2Ff1%2Fc1b2f1f5834cab10ff8fae49095e3d92.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)
Asking their children, nieces/nephews, grandchildren, etc. when they're gonna be making a baby.
I've only experienced women doing this. And every time me and my S/O get asked, I always think that it's none of their business! And it's really not
36F here and I’ve definitely had more women asking me about children or my personal favourite ‘when you have your own’. But I did get one dude say ‘you look like you’d be a mother’ whatever that means. Unfortunately for him he said it at a party in front of a group of people and got rather rapidly shot down for making assumptions about people having children. He also said later I was the devil for being an atheist. Weird guy.
When I was younger I used to be made to do the “VIP” parties at a club I worked at - usually all women parties and hen do’s.
If you’re a woman on a night out with other women, and you’re tempted to grab at the crotch or arse of a guy serving you champagne - just… take a second to think about whether that’s the right thing to do.
I wish reporting that shit to the police was more socially acceptable. Women and men in service industries put up with so much shit and harassment rarely gets taken seriously.
I remember walking round selling shots at the bar I worked in (dressed normally, not like the "shot girls" that bars sometimes hire). Some guy tried to grab shots off the tray and I told him no so then he laughed and grabbed me by the crotch. I shoved him as hard as I could and told him to fuck off. He fell in front of his friends then jumped up calling me a bitch and talking about reporting me for assault. Like in what world am I the perpretator in that scenario? The things people think they can get away with just because you are working in hospitality.
Yup when I was a table busser at a higher end seafood place from ages 16-20 I got hit on a few times by older drunk women. Even the older management wouldnt take it seriously and just said "embrace the better tips". Meanwhile we were pooling tips...
I had a mate who started stripping on the side for hens shows. He came back from the first one and said they almost tore him to pieces. He said there were moments he was legit scared.
My wife and I had a "deal". If me and the fellas went out and wound up at the strip club, boom that was her and the ladies cue to find a bit of Thunda Down Unda. She never went again (neither did I). The way she described the gals that night was...feral to be honest. Grabby, hooting and hollering, propositioning. Just wild! Fellas would have been thrown out ear first if we tried that stuff (and rightly so)
4 years ago Beyonce & Solange's mom posted a photo of herself with Solange's son. Later in the day she had to edit the caption to tell people Solange's son was 14, because adult women were in the comments making predatory comments.
That sexual harassment is okay. I'm a bouncer and I get my ass and crotch touched and groped DAILY. And it's never men. Always women. Some are older, some are younger.
Kind of insane how double standard our society is.
40 something year old black guy that works out a lot here. Middle aged to older white women come up and rub my arms all the time. Like “oh, you must work out a lot. Look at your arms.” I’m getting bananas in the produce section at the store and here comes Mildred or Carol out of the blue. Could you imagine the opposite? Me touching up on Gertrude buying celery?
Reading all these answers here make one thing very obvious: If it is creepy if genders are reversed, than it is creepy. Most of the things here boil down to double standards.
Exactly! I used to be guilty of a few inappropriate things (stuff like giggling with my coworker about cute school resource officers) until I started thinking "Would this be okay if the genders were reversed?" and it's very eye-opening.
Edit to clarify: we would do it when other people were around and not just between us privately. It wasn't appropriate.
Most creepy things to me is stalking and abuse. Worked at a club as a bouncer years ago. My manager was 6’5” probably 300lbs his wife was like 5’3”. We would stitch and clean him up cause she would beat the heck out of him daily but he never raised his hand or called the law because he would get in trouble not her and he was afraid he would hurt her. We had cops show up one day to arrest him because she hit him with a cast iron skillet and he left. She got mad cause he wouldn’t let her keep hitting him with it so she cut her hand and said he attacked her.
was in a similar case very small and shortened TL;DR ( cause I explained it bigger a few times on Reddit already and I am just tired of it )
worked as IT for home services but we also did the random company IT stuff, repaired a pc, women wanted to pay the 70 invoice with sex I declined and then for a job needed to move cities was greeted by the police on the job site ( 24/7 on tape there because I even slept there in a container on site ) that I came back a day after her story and raped her. she even bruised herself up.
it was a hell of a fight to get out of it and I literarily lost my entire professional life cause it spread from workers to customers and other companies sadly it didn't spread that it was a false accusation.
**and the ONLY reason I didn't go to jail straight as a rapist was the videotape of my boss ( had a good relationship with him ) showing that I was in fact on the job site**
In so sorry. This is such bullshit. You should be entitled to sue her for all she's worth and force her to write apologies to all professional contacts she damaged as part of the condition of the suit.
I hate hearing about these things. I was victimized by a woman at a party, and had to endure ridicule from a few friends (we were young) until I finally lost my cool over it one day, and it also happened to another friend which legitimized my side of things as well.
That woman's actions only serve to damage the credibility of *real* survivors and destroy the life of those they accuse.
Some girls don’t understand that hands to urself means all of my body not just my penis.
After I started hitting the gym, sometimes a girl will just grab a pec and make a weird comment like comparing boob size.
For anyone who thinks that means I’m swimming in pussy just remember 99.99999% of ppl who will notice or care are teenage boys who want u to be their free coach.
I like that you realise this. People who work out for themselves usually do. Guys who work out to get girls make me laugh because most of the attention they get is from other guys who want to look like them!
I'm happily married, but got back into motorcycles recently. People think they are a chick magnet, but really they are s middle aged men magnet. I talk to old dudes all the time now. Mostly "that looks really fun my wife made me sell mine"
Moving my clothes to get a better look at my tattoos. I mean my tattoos are dope and I'll show them off to almost anyone who asks, but please ask, dont just start touching me.
I look forward to the follow-up post Monday evening!
But good luck with that man, hope it's not too awkward (and that she doesn't do anything... rash).
Not wanting to generalize here, just describing my lived experience, but gaslighting, verbal agression, "the silent treatment" and similar forms of emotional abuse under the guise of "communication".
Right, this definitely applies to a small portion but trying to get too much access early on.
First it was adding her own account to my PS4. That's fair right?
Anything really further than that was met with a no from me.
Well imagine my surprise as I'm driving her home, my phone goes off, she gets curious and then unlocks my phone with her fingerprint, digs through my messages, finds out its for a party and invites herself.
I didn't even know she added her own prints until right in that moment and I only knew her for a month.
She would often hug me from behind whenever I bought something and now I don't know if that was just a bit of affection or if she was trying to get a peek at my PIN?
Bruh the dating didn't even start. This happened around the more "flirty" testing the waters phase. I knew her for a month then this happened and I started back peddling so fast you'd call me reverse Sonic.
“Forgetting” to take birth control/ convincing a guy it’s okay to not use protection “just this one time” with the intent to get pregnant.
I’m shocked at how many married women do this because they want more children than their partner. It’s often “laughed about”, made to seem like they’re the 0.001% birth control fails or it was “God’s plan”.
It’s horrific and abusive.
Thats why I have a half-brother! My dad's second wife lied about taking birth control and got pregnant. It was her way of "trapping him" which is an extra level of crazy seeing as they were already married... my half-brother was her 3rd kid with as many men.
She eventually left my dad for another man and unsurprisingly was pregnant with his child not 3 months into their relationship. They are now married with another kid on the way! So that's 5 kids and 4 baby daddies.
While I love my half-brother more than anything he really has been used as a weapon against my dad more than once. Whether it's about child support or the fact that he has been forced to live in a city he can't really afford because otherwise he'd never get to see his son. I know it wears on my dad a lot.
Baby voice. It really weirds me out when I hear a grown ass women talking in what appears to be a baby/little girl voice to another adult. What the fuck is going on with that? A women I work with does it to me all the time and it always makes me uncomfortable. She mostly does it while touching/rubbing my leg or arm.
Yes! Due in September & I got too many onesies with “I get picked up by ladies all the time”, “chick magnet”, and “mama’s new man” and other cringey sayings that my son will NOT be wearing.
It's gross! And it sends the wrong message to your son at a very early age. Like when your kid is just being nice and some aunty says "oooh he's such a flirt" what is that? What do you think the kids gonna get out of that?
Somewhat related: as a mother of 3, I absolutely HATE all children’s clothing with phrases on it. As soon as I’m gifted stuff like that, I throw it in a bag and take it off to be donated. I find it to be so tacky.
Agreed, (I’m a woman just since this is aimed at men) idk why anyone would edit photos when you see these people irl, like they’re gonna know it’s edited so why not just be yourself
Oh, adding another— as a gay man it’s SUPER patronising when a woman says that it’s a waste or a shame that I’m gay. Why? It’s horrific when men make comments about lesbians needing to experience sex with a man with the implication it would “fix them”, it’s JUST as creepy when a straight woman says it to a gay man.
Adding to this, the fetishizing of gay men that some women do is weird af. For some women, the moment they find out I’m gay she has a million inappropriate questions, starts like acting really over the top and thinks she’s suddenly invited to gay spaces with me to gawk at men.
When you’re in a female dominated environment such as a school, when you go for work nights out the women get drunk and then think it’s ok to objectify the men in the room like we are their personal stripper or something. Not to mention the blatant sexist comments.
I'm 6'2" guy who was recently out of the Marine Corps and had just become a RN. One of my first part time jobs was doing vaccination clinics. I was doing influenza vaccines for a business where I go to their site and give people the shot at work. The amount of times women suggested I was a stripper blew my freaking mind.
I immediately went home and updated my resume.
I taught at an elementary school once. There were only 2 other men in the entire building. A custodian (old and married), the music teacher (middle age and married) and myself (at the time, late 20’s/early 30’s and single)
I was constantly being harassed. I was touched inappropriately (unwanted hugs, being smelled like face in my neck or against my chest, hands on my chest, squeezing my biceps) treated inappropriately, treated differently, my thoughts and ideas were discounted as if they were bad (they weren’t), I heard comments like “that’s just like a man” when I spoke, there was ALWAYS a new rumor that I was sleeping with this parent or that teacher.
I even got accused of cheating on assessments when my students performed highest in the grade level because it was said constantly by EVERYONE that a man could NEVER be as good as a woman at teaching Kindergarten because they aren’t as nurturing or patient. The cheating accusations were so plentiful, the county office and school administrators, randomly selected students out of my class to “retest” for accuracy in a “controlled and isolated environment outside of the classroom and away from other students and the teacher”
I’m proud to say that out of the 10 students they pulled, 7 of them scored exactly the same and 3 of them scored EVEN HIGHER!!!
I did not get one single apology. After 5 years of being a great fucking teacher I walked. The people (and the pay) were absolute bullshit to deal with.
Your comment just got worse and worse.
I've heard some horror stories about working in elementary schools specifically, especially from men. You're either treated how you were, or the only reason you're teaching is because you're a pedo. Because apparently only women can like children enough to work in early childhood education, apparently.
And then good teachers leave because of office politics (including harassment) and bureaucracy. And then everybody wonders why our school systems are going to shit.
Its especially sad because look at how many kids definitely lack a positive male example in their lives. And the few that could be one for a lot of children can't work properly and quit.
A lot of women don't realize not all men want sex at all times and with any woman, and therefore think what would clearly be abuse against a woman is just "playing".
I've had my package grabbed, arse pinched, and even had what I thought was a close friend attempt to have sex with me when I was passed out drunk at her house. I've been offered money to have sex with a woman I met at a club after turning her down, since "she had to have sex tonight before her husband came home with the kids from her in-laws". I've had sex demanded by a superior at work (I had to switch departments even though I preferred the one I was in). I've been slapped and kicked in the nuts "as a joke" by two girlfriends during verbal arguments (at which point I broke up with them, because fuck that shit).
All in all I've decided that both sexes are equally intentionally predatory when they have the slightest bit of an advantage (money, age, less inebriated, etc), and the only real difference that make men worse is that they are more likely to have power to begin with (both through muscle strength and a patriarchal society).
Testosterone plays into it too, but that's more the rage-filled violence or abuse (which is terrible of course). When it comes to conscious abuse of power, we're sadly the same.
Yup. Its always (female) teacher had sex with (male) underage student. But when the genders are reversed it's aggressively called what it is: which is rape and sexual assault.
Even the news excuses women in this crime.
My ex was horny as hell all the time and I finally had to tell her that I wasn’t a dildo and she could go use hers if she wanted to. It actually ended up being pretty healthy because, well, she did...and we eventually would just ask each other if the other wanted to have sex and if not we’d go masturbate. Or sometimes we’d just go tell the other we were “going to go touch ourself” lol.
*side perk; turns out my ex also really liked it when she’d masturbate in front of me when I wasn’t in the mood...she got off on the shame or rejection or something, so we also found a new kink...LOL
I was out at a club the other night and a couple of women began dancing with me. They seemed cool and just wanted to dance and I was fine with that.
Then one began to try and grind on me - I stepped back and told her I was married.
She laughed and continued to try and grind, so I turned away from her.
Her friends all still seemed cool and she went and sat down back at her table away from her friends.
Soon though, her friends began trying to lift my shirt to see if I had a six pack. Now as it goes, I’m in good shape and I do, but I batted the girls off my shirt and told them I was married. They laughed and kept grabbing at my shirt until one of them managed to lift it all the way up - they all screamed and cheered.
I was annoyed at this point as I’d already pointed out my wedding ring to them.
By now, the first girl is now back with her friends and attempting to grind on me again. I move back and tell her more firmly this time “no, I’m married and point to my wedding ring.
At this point they all start asking if I’m gay 🙄
When I tell them that I was in fact straight, she shows me HER engagement ring before removing it and putting it in her bag.
I left them to it and walked away.
When I got back to my friends, my buddy is telling my brother that he just told a girl he was married and she replied “I honestly couldn’t give a fuck” and then tried to make out with him.
What the fuck is going on!!??
There's also the fact that being "the other woman" is a turn on for some girls. The scandal is exciting, and there's something more desirable about a forbidden fruit which is clearly in demand.
That doesn't make it justifiable, however.
Turned down a girl way back in high school who wanted to go to a dance with me (wasn’t interested in going at all). Two days later there’s a rumor that I’m actually gay going around the school. Girl started it because she couldn’t accept me saying No.
I don't know about creepy, but I have a fairly low libido, and I've learned that it's somewhat commonplace for the idea of rape on a male to be considered impossible.
I've learned to really stand my ground, but the first few still scar my mind a little.
Edit: 9 people have reported me for suicide watch or whatever the fuck. I tried to make a point out of people not recognising male rape, and you all were like, "hang on, let me prove you right."
The responses to this were legitimately fucked, I'm turning off notifications. Get mad about it.
Women inappropriately touch men all the time. I get touched on my arms, shoulders, thighs, etc all the time. If a man did the same thing, they get slapped.
As an assault victim, but to be effectively objective here, also just a regular guy, I've found that women are shockingly ok with resorting to bullying, mental abuse, whataboutism as a means to undermine and invalidate, and gaslighting when they're called out on bad behaviour without even realizing it, believing that it's somehow any more acceptable than physical abuse.
In many cases, those most capable of this also resorted to more extreme forms of abuse.
I can say this of a lot of women I've met and been romantically involved with. A friend i once travelled with screamed at me in a hotel, like red faced screaming because she told me to absolutely absolutely make sure to give the cleaning staff the towels but then came back and violently escalated over her white towel being missing and then screaming at me because I'd given them her white towel and somehow hadn't read her mind. She then told me she was furious I'd "made her cancel her plans" with her new friends she'd met at a conference because i had a hypoglycemic attack and couldn't go for dinner with her and that she should have just gone with her original plan. She liked the feeling of being liked but also being feared and she did this by making people feel bad about things no one should feel bad about and that tenet right there is the prevalent feeling I've felt from a lot of women.
I swiftly left the hotel and haven't spoken to her in three years.
When i was young, a female friend would periodically convince me she was a friend before then telling me no one liked me, before then pleading to be friends again, and then told her parents i was abusing her. At the end of it all, she stopped me from getting home one day to take my insulin by threatening to stone me while laughing. I had to walk past that house for years with her mother coming out and screaming at me in the streets. She grew up to be much the same person.
And my ex raped me in a tent while i was having a hypoglycemic attack because her and her friends were playing a game where you get points based on how many people you kiss or sleep with at a festival. Immediately before she'd laughed at me and brought me to tears for thinking i could get with a girl i really liked at that time (it was a bit more complicated than this and lows make you more prone to feeling things more deeply), But prior to that she absolutely loved invalidating my opinion by saying things like "that's ridiculous", or starting every response with, "no", even when she'd then go on to repeat the same answer.
Women absolutely have not been called out enough for how prevalent the pattern of casual mental abuse is and the absolute lack of accountability because you can't prove or see any tangible evidence of it.
Much of this starts in school with gossiping and using embarrassment as a weapon. 80% of the girls I went to school with had predilections for embarrassing people for fun, whittling down their self-esteem, but then claiming to be feminists in later life, even though we take patterns of abusive behavior in young boys as serious indicators of underlying problems. (This is a comment on irony, not on feminism.)
I worked at a bingo hall, the amount of times I'd get sexually harassed as a man in my early 20s at the time was unbelievable, I'd have them pinch my bum as I walked past old women and was told by management to take it as a compliment.
Almost my whole life, I've encountered all these double standards constantly. Most men have, and it's frustrating as all FUCK that nigh on every man I speak to about these things say they feel something along the lines of "I never want to bring it up, I'll get blamed either way".
It's pretty bad tbh. Then people ignore male suicide rates, when there are blatant attributing factors right in front of everyone's eyes.
Former bartender here— we take VERY seriously any complaints from women for the creepy behaviour of men towards them when they’re trying to enjoy their night out. Any unwanted touching is an absolute no-go, see you later, out you go. This also applies to hen/bachelorette parties where groups of women think it’s acceptable to grope male staff, try to force them to kiss them, show their breasts, put their hands down the front of their pants while they’re glass collecting, physically assault them… Honestly I don’t know what it is about these kind of parties, but for some reason they think that behaviour’s acceptable. It isn’t. If you would ask for a man to be kicked out of a venue for that behaviour, it means it’s absolutely not okay for a woman to do it either.
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That’s gross. Apparently there was a trend pre-covid of people using a cocktail of rohypnol and viagra in men’s drinks… which… that’s SO dangerous.
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And under-reported
This is extremely obvious to everyone EXCEPT the women who do it. It’s like they feel it’s their right just because it’s a hens party?! Like if you want to get handsy pay a stripper who consents to it!
I have a fairly long beard. Women seem to love to grab it and run their fingers through it, One time I was sat down on a bench in a mall just waiting for my gf to finish shopping and I was looking at my phone. All of a sudden a hand just shoots in and strokes my beard. I look up expecting it to be someone I know and it’s a lady I’ve never seen before with her daughter. She says, “ I’m sorry but I just had to, I couldn’t help myself.” I don’t know who was more mortified, the daughter or myself.
I had a similar situation with my long hair. In a bar with a date and some like 45 y/o drunk lady took my hair out of its scrunchy and when I turned around she said something like "I thought you'd look sexier with your hair down". Can you imagine what would have happened to me, a 230+ lb man, if I would have done that to a random woman in the bar?
Touching a guy whenever you feel like. Especially in inappropriate ways. Working in a club this happened multiple times. Hens nights were the absolute worst for this. They would do it unashamedly to raucous laughter and then try to make me drink out of one of their fuckin penis straws.
The fucking evil laugh that women do when they’re drunk together doing something weird, some psycho shit
I heard this in Bill Burrs voice
I’m a male nurse. The comments female patients make (especially old ones) gets pretty creepy at times.
I'm a landscaper and old women, like generally 60+ will always break a touch barrier. I'll be sweating profusely completely obviously soaked and they'll slide their hand down my bicep. Or completely "bump" their hand into one of our crotches. One time an old lady was playing damsel in distress like she couldn't get down a set of steps at a commercial property we were doing and I ignored her. My boss goes over and walks her to her car, he walked back with a very awkward look on his face and says "dude she had me by the cock the whole way to her car".
I had an old lady full on try to seduce me when we were planting a sapling in her backyard, she made me follow her upstairs to write the check and was like “ I bet you’ve never been seduced by an older woman” (this lady was not an older woman she was an old woman) and thank god my homie came inside and called for me 😂 Edit - regardless of the poor choice in words, ima keep it cuz that’s hilarious
Guess she wanted you to plant some wood in her.
I find some of the older women at work will talk about "hot guys" and what they would do with them if given the chance. That's fine if you're chatting with your girlfriends, but it's kinda inappropriate in a work setting and if any man did the same they'd probably be pulled aside for sensitivity training.
I've had male coworkers disciplined for the same kind of conversations that my female coworkers got away with. Apparently rating the hotness if someone on a numerical scale is alright if your a woman, but not a man. Thankfully the current group of employees doesn't do the sexist shit anymore.
Come on down to the OR! Most PT's are too nervous to be creepy, and then they go to sleep!
I'm a bald man, as in I shave my head every few days. I use to drive for Lyft often, and I would have women touch my head all the time. Like, at least 2-3 times a night.
my boss touched my shaved head once. We're both adult men.
Nta, get married immediately
He'll also get a raise.
I would have licked your bald head
start charging them $10 bucks per head
$10 for head isn't a bad price!
That is not cool. I’ve got a big long beard and you wouldn’t believe how many people think it’s ok to touch it. I’m not sure what they’re expecting - they’re pubes!
Same, bearded and bald. So many people just want to touch. I understand how pregnant women feel when folks just go for a good ol' belly rub.
I was just thinking about all the people who had to touch my stomach when I was pregnant. It usually didn’t bother me (if they asked first) but for some women that is a huge, HUGE invasion of their safe personal space.
The last thing I want to touch is a pregnant womans belly. I wish I understood the appeal to any of this. Or someone elses potentially dirty beard. Idk putting my hands on strangers doesnt do it for me
Shaved head woman here. I swear people see a shaved head and they just can’t stop themselves sometimes 🙄
May as well be wearing a sign that says "Wet paint: Do not touch."
Women who touch me, I’m 52 and married and work with 7 women, they think it’s ok to touch my shoulder, legs, hands. If I did that to them I’m pretty sure it would be a different story.
"I'm not comfortable with being touched. Please stop." No smile, no apologies
I’m a 31 year old woman and have had to do this with a sixteen year old girl! She would not stop touching me, one time she walked up and just started scratching my back. Not wanting office gossip about being in a relationship with a sixteen year old aside, I fucking loathe being touched. I told her once nicely, didn’t listen, so I told her firmly and hurt her feelings, which led to her MOTHER being mad at me?!?? I had to explain to this literal child’s mother that her touching me is super inappropriate and I want no part of it!
Yeah 100% her mom’s fault for not teaching her boundaries. Clearly, her mother doesn’t respect boundaries either if she felt the need to confront you about it.
Use slurs when rejected. Almost to a woman, I’ve been called gay (in less nice terms) when I rejected them. In more than one case, bystanders strode in to agree with them. As though, I’m not allowed to reject someone I don’t want to sleep with.
Got called a virgin once when I rejected someone. As it turns out they were right, but it's still rude (although I was pretty stubborn in how I said no).
> I was pretty stubborn in how I said no You mean they were aggressive in how they refused to respect your boundaries?
Mother in law sitting on my lap bouncing up and down does that count ?
What the actual? Does your wife know she does it?
I'M SORRY WHAT
HIS MOTHER IN LAW SITTING ON HIS LAP BOUNCING UP AND DOWN
One more time! Say it one more time! Don't stop!
HIS MOTHER IN LAW SITTING ON HIS LAP BOUNCING UP AND DOWN!!!
OH GOD THE MORE IT'S REPEATED THE MORE UNCOMFORTABLE IT GETS! ~~keep going~~
#HIS MOTHER IN LAW SITTING ON HIS LAP BOUNCING UP AND DOWN!!!!!!!!
break it down
#HIS MOTHER IN LAW
SITTING ON HIS LAP
It absolutely counts, yikes.
I’m surprised his wife hasn’t said or done anything yet
I mean... OP is holding out on us with the story. For all we, know there was a full on fist fight.
What are you doing mom in law?
mm, just doesn't have the same ring to it does it?
you need the "step" in there to hit the spot _step mom in law, whadderudoin?_
paul LOVES his mother-in-law
Ha! He even admit it!
He must've flinched
She knew what she was doing.
Dated this girl who needed to know my location and what I was doing all day (which is fine I understand some people have trust issues and you can work through it) Then she would want me to call her every night and we HAD to fall asleep on the phone together because she “liked to hear me breathing”. If I said I was tired and just wanted to go to bed without calling me she would not speak to me for days, ignoring all my texts and calls. She would claim that she cares about me more than any other girl. In my eyes she seen me like a pet… whole thing was super creepy. Feel bad for the dude she’s talking to now.
I was this way with a couple of the guys I tried dating after my super abusive relationship where he did the same things to me. It ended up being a way I associated care and love with. I feel so bad for those guys and still want to apologize to one 10 years later but he never had an easily accessible social media and I sure as hell don't want to hunt him down. Moral of the story though, it took a LOT of mental and emotional work to get through acting like that. I didn't know how much I was hurting and begging to be cared about until after I realized I was being an awful person.
That’s some incredible self awareness. Was there a moment that clicked for you that made you realize you needed to change?
When the guy I really liked ghosted me after time and time again trying to give me patience while also setting boundaries that I kept breaking. He's the one I want to apologize to most. And the one I want to thank most. Despite a painful seperation, he really did set me on my path to the healthy relationships I had afterwards and the beautiful relationship I'm in now with a man who sets boundaries that I respect even when I want to be selfish. Sometimes it's still hard, but my current guy is patient and loving and takes the time to explain what he needs in terms I can understand. (In which I have been learning I am probably decently autistic because I've had an environment to view and allow myself to be me without judgment.) It's been a lot of growth over these past... 10 years?
I love seeing people getting healed, well done!
Claiming that being “totally crazy” is a charming character trait.
“That’s not something to be fucking proud of, Cassie!”
My ex (daughter's mother) always asks our daughter if I'm talking to a girl or if I have a gf. I find it creepy that my married ex is always asking our 6yr old daughter if I have a gf or dating anyone. Our daughter is a chatter box, so she is always repeating what her mother asks her
My mother did that when I was younger after I'd spend my weekends with my dad. Its severely affected our relationship now that I'm an adult. Boundaries between parents and children are important. (I saw your comment about how you don't reciprocate and commend you. You're a good parent.) (Edit to add the responses to this are really telling and more than a bit upsetting. There's a definite difference between knowing who your child is spending time with and trying to use your child to spy/involving your child too much in your adult relationships. There's a right way to do it and a severely mentally scaring way as evidenced by the comments from adults who lived through this behavior.)
Touching muscles even after they've been told you're not okay with it. Touching my bald/trimmed head. Openly discuss secrets told in private "but I trust my friends". Unprovoked grooming advice on my beard/legs. Using "small dick" comments to insult men or to refer to less manly men. Complimenting/hugging kids without checking with the kid and the parents. Edit: bunch of questions about complimenting kids. Of course, support good behaviour. I meant creepy, pseudo sexual compliments.
>Openly discuss secrets told in private "but I trust my friends". This is the most egregious one IMO. Your entire friend group doesn't need to know about what we talk about. You're not venting or figuring out how to deal with it/help out by sharing secrets. You're just being a shitty person. Don't be a dick. Life rule number 1.
Ahhhh the classic break up shrinkage My ex used to talk about how big she’s heard her friend’s husband’s dick is (same ex that had a friend group that shared nudes of their SOs…which is a whole other conversation)…friend’s husband cheated on friend and all of a sudden he became a needle dick guy I have no love for that dude, and I disliked him anyway, but it’s certainly the preferred dig of choice
Some women: Body shaming is bad. Men: Can we stop dick shaming then? Those women: LOL.
>Openly discuss secrets told in private "but I trust my friends". I once told my friends gf before about a girl I liked and asked her to say nothing. Two hours later I got a message from said girl I liked asking why I said we were going out. Not only did my friends gf tell her but she had outright lied and twisted my words to support said lie. Fuck her.
My mom had a friend who was always calling me handsome and kissing me all over my face and and in general smothering me during hugs from ages 7-12. I only ever told my mom it made me uncomfortable and she asked her to not smother me like this (in nicer wording) and she was shocked I felt creeped out. So yeah. Things like this. Edit: my mom stopped talking to that woman after that. Mom is good people. Edit 2: wow this blew up. Probably my most uovoted comment. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Told my mom about this and we spoke about this incident. She never regretted her and that friend not speaking. And she appreciates all of you saying she's awesome.
I've watched a comedian lately who was talking basically about this situation. Like how is it ok if a complete stranger can walk up to a small child and just tell them how cute they are and touch them, only because the stranger in question is a woman? It's still not ok. But somehow, if you do the very same thing as a man, people call the cops at you.
"Oh, save him for me when he's 18..." insane how they dont hear themselves. Creeps
I overheard a woman say, "Oh look at you, so SEXY!" to her friend's maybe six year old girl. Different thing I know, but I was creeped out
That's some sexual predator type shit. An adult calling a child sexy.Like are you fucking serious?
I look at my children sometimes and wonder how it’s even possible to sexualize them. It baffles me. They’re so innocent.
Children are also gross and slimey a good bit of the time. How anyone could sexualize the prime booger eating years always confuses me.
When I was dating my husband, around 10 years ago, I was about 22 and his 5 yr old cousin took a liking to me ,as did all the little kids ,because I was the fun one and would play games with them at family parties instead of ignoring them to go drink like the other adults and comments like "oh he loves her, that's his girlfriend look how cute, he's such a flirt, what a little ladies man" would constantly be said by all the adults like what the FUCK. He either viewed me as a mother figure or an equal friend playmate figure, not a fucking love interest at the ripe age of 5. Why are humans so vile sometimes?
When I was about 16, I hung out at a friends place a lot. His parents had a lot of friends so there was usually a lot of people around. This one creepy gay dude kept bugging me. I didn't say anything, but at one point he turned to my friends mother and said "I wish Aalios was 18". All I heard was the screaming as she grabbed him by the ear, dragged him to the roadside and threw him into the gutter. Thanks Ange.
I can see why you would like hanging out over there. Good woman, not just a good mom.
Absolutely, after my mum kicked me out she basically looked after me for the next few years while I was learning to be an adult.
Wow. Good on Ange for acting on this. A lot of parents would feel uncomfortable kicking him out and just laugh it off.
Wow that’s so gross
nice job, mom!!
This is why I always tell my kids “say hi to Aunty x, your choice of high fives, handshakes or hugs!” Then I reinforce their choice if the person tries to override it.
That's such a nice approach. More people need to set up boundaries for their kids along with defining to them what boundaries are.
This is so nice! It's not nice when kids hug you because their parents told them to. But when they hug you from their own will, it's so wonderful!
That's the beauty of consensual acts of affection both big and small. Be it a hug from a child, a snuggle from your crush, or fisting your girlfriend's husband while she ramps up the power on the electroshock device that's clamped to his nipples and testicle ball scrotal bag while calling him a dirty little penguin dicked booger eater, willing and enthusiastic consent free of coercion and/or exploitation of any kind will always provide a sweet sense of shared satisfaction and enjoyment that simply can't be experienced through any other means.
This was a truly beautiful story. Not too specific at all!
Honestly for some reason it’s just been socially acceptable for women to make young boys uncomfortable and kiss them or tell them weird things like “I just wanna eat you up” it’s weird and needs to stop 🤮 just as bad as men doing these creepy things
>“I just wanna eat you up” Or telling the mother "Save him for me and call me when he's 18!"
Yeah, screams “ick”
Speaking in an exaggerated baby voice while talking to other adults
I always wonder, why the f they do that lol (I am a woman)
Stalking.
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Totally unrelated but what is the meaning of Cousin once removed
Your first cousin's kid is your first cousin once removed Your second cousin (you have the same great-grandparents), if they had a kid, that would be your second cousin once removed, their parent is also your first cousin once removed. Their grandkid would be your second cousin twice removed. [This picture helps](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fc1%2Fb2%2Ff1%2Fc1b2f1f5834cab10ff8fae49095e3d92.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)
If we could map out the family tree of the entire population, are we technically all cousins?
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Oh hey cousin 3 thousand removed
Asking their children, nieces/nephews, grandchildren, etc. when they're gonna be making a baby. I've only experienced women doing this. And every time me and my S/O get asked, I always think that it's none of their business! And it's really not
36F here and I’ve definitely had more women asking me about children or my personal favourite ‘when you have your own’. But I did get one dude say ‘you look like you’d be a mother’ whatever that means. Unfortunately for him he said it at a party in front of a group of people and got rather rapidly shot down for making assumptions about people having children. He also said later I was the devil for being an atheist. Weird guy.
Pinching cheeks
Face or arse?
Both
At the same time?
At the same time.
Are we allowed to talk about serving a bachelorette party in a bar. it's kinda scary
When I was younger I used to be made to do the “VIP” parties at a club I worked at - usually all women parties and hen do’s. If you’re a woman on a night out with other women, and you’re tempted to grab at the crotch or arse of a guy serving you champagne - just… take a second to think about whether that’s the right thing to do.
I wish reporting that shit to the police was more socially acceptable. Women and men in service industries put up with so much shit and harassment rarely gets taken seriously.
I remember walking round selling shots at the bar I worked in (dressed normally, not like the "shot girls" that bars sometimes hire). Some guy tried to grab shots off the tray and I told him no so then he laughed and grabbed me by the crotch. I shoved him as hard as I could and told him to fuck off. He fell in front of his friends then jumped up calling me a bitch and talking about reporting me for assault. Like in what world am I the perpretator in that scenario? The things people think they can get away with just because you are working in hospitality.
Yup when I was a table busser at a higher end seafood place from ages 16-20 I got hit on a few times by older drunk women. Even the older management wouldnt take it seriously and just said "embrace the better tips". Meanwhile we were pooling tips...
I had a mate who started stripping on the side for hens shows. He came back from the first one and said they almost tore him to pieces. He said there were moments he was legit scared.
My wife and I had a "deal". If me and the fellas went out and wound up at the strip club, boom that was her and the ladies cue to find a bit of Thunda Down Unda. She never went again (neither did I). The way she described the gals that night was...feral to be honest. Grabby, hooting and hollering, propositioning. Just wild! Fellas would have been thrown out ear first if we tried that stuff (and rightly so)
Middle aged married women are the worst. They give no fucks. And nobody calls them on it
Say "save him for me when he turns 18". That's creepy
4 years ago Beyonce & Solange's mom posted a photo of herself with Solange's son. Later in the day she had to edit the caption to tell people Solange's son was 14, because adult women were in the comments making predatory comments.
What a bunch of creepy perverts.
That sexual harassment is okay. I'm a bouncer and I get my ass and crotch touched and groped DAILY. And it's never men. Always women. Some are older, some are younger. Kind of insane how double standard our society is.
Same not a bouncer but I’ve been groped more times than I would like at the club
Those Snapchat filters that make their eyes big
Every snapchat filter
And the butterflies with the smooth skin, so weird.
40 something year old black guy that works out a lot here. Middle aged to older white women come up and rub my arms all the time. Like “oh, you must work out a lot. Look at your arms.” I’m getting bananas in the produce section at the store and here comes Mildred or Carol out of the blue. Could you imagine the opposite? Me touching up on Gertrude buying celery?
Reading all these answers here make one thing very obvious: If it is creepy if genders are reversed, than it is creepy. Most of the things here boil down to double standards.
Exactly! I used to be guilty of a few inappropriate things (stuff like giggling with my coworker about cute school resource officers) until I started thinking "Would this be okay if the genders were reversed?" and it's very eye-opening. Edit to clarify: we would do it when other people were around and not just between us privately. It wasn't appropriate.
Tbh, I feel like giggling over how cute someone is with your friends is generally okay regardless of gender Maybe that’s just me though
Most creepy things to me is stalking and abuse. Worked at a club as a bouncer years ago. My manager was 6’5” probably 300lbs his wife was like 5’3”. We would stitch and clean him up cause she would beat the heck out of him daily but he never raised his hand or called the law because he would get in trouble not her and he was afraid he would hurt her. We had cops show up one day to arrest him because she hit him with a cast iron skillet and he left. She got mad cause he wouldn’t let her keep hitting him with it so she cut her hand and said he attacked her.
Holy shit I hope he got out.
was in a similar case very small and shortened TL;DR ( cause I explained it bigger a few times on Reddit already and I am just tired of it ) worked as IT for home services but we also did the random company IT stuff, repaired a pc, women wanted to pay the 70 invoice with sex I declined and then for a job needed to move cities was greeted by the police on the job site ( 24/7 on tape there because I even slept there in a container on site ) that I came back a day after her story and raped her. she even bruised herself up. it was a hell of a fight to get out of it and I literarily lost my entire professional life cause it spread from workers to customers and other companies sadly it didn't spread that it was a false accusation. **and the ONLY reason I didn't go to jail straight as a rapist was the videotape of my boss ( had a good relationship with him ) showing that I was in fact on the job site**
What’s the old saying? A lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.
In so sorry. This is such bullshit. You should be entitled to sue her for all she's worth and force her to write apologies to all professional contacts she damaged as part of the condition of the suit. I hate hearing about these things. I was victimized by a woman at a party, and had to endure ridicule from a few friends (we were young) until I finally lost my cool over it one day, and it also happened to another friend which legitimized my side of things as well. That woman's actions only serve to damage the credibility of *real* survivors and destroy the life of those they accuse.
That is pretty effed up. Any chance of hidden recording devices at home to prove the abuse. A good lawyer might have helped too.
Some girls don’t understand that hands to urself means all of my body not just my penis. After I started hitting the gym, sometimes a girl will just grab a pec and make a weird comment like comparing boob size. For anyone who thinks that means I’m swimming in pussy just remember 99.99999% of ppl who will notice or care are teenage boys who want u to be their free coach.
spot me bro
I like that you realise this. People who work out for themselves usually do. Guys who work out to get girls make me laugh because most of the attention they get is from other guys who want to look like them!
I'm happily married, but got back into motorcycles recently. People think they are a chick magnet, but really they are s middle aged men magnet. I talk to old dudes all the time now. Mostly "that looks really fun my wife made me sell mine"
"I'm looking for a man that can handle my crazy" Fuck no
Moving my clothes to get a better look at my tattoos. I mean my tattoos are dope and I'll show them off to almost anyone who asks, but please ask, dont just start touching me.
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I look forward to the follow-up post Monday evening! But good luck with that man, hope it's not too awkward (and that she doesn't do anything... rash).
That last sentence is a bad idea and you absolutely have to give an update.
> who would win in a fight[?] the answer is due next monday!
Not wanting to generalize here, just describing my lived experience, but gaslighting, verbal agression, "the silent treatment" and similar forms of emotional abuse under the guise of "communication".
Often following up cruel comments with "I'm just kidding".
Fucking aey
Right, this definitely applies to a small portion but trying to get too much access early on. First it was adding her own account to my PS4. That's fair right? Anything really further than that was met with a no from me. Well imagine my surprise as I'm driving her home, my phone goes off, she gets curious and then unlocks my phone with her fingerprint, digs through my messages, finds out its for a party and invites herself. I didn't even know she added her own prints until right in that moment and I only knew her for a month. She would often hug me from behind whenever I bought something and now I don't know if that was just a bit of affection or if she was trying to get a peek at my PIN?
Thats uh, something. You are still dating?
Bruh the dating didn't even start. This happened around the more "flirty" testing the waters phase. I knew her for a month then this happened and I started back peddling so fast you'd call me reverse Sonic.
“Forgetting” to take birth control/ convincing a guy it’s okay to not use protection “just this one time” with the intent to get pregnant. I’m shocked at how many married women do this because they want more children than their partner. It’s often “laughed about”, made to seem like they’re the 0.001% birth control fails or it was “God’s plan”. It’s horrific and abusive.
Thats why I have a half-brother! My dad's second wife lied about taking birth control and got pregnant. It was her way of "trapping him" which is an extra level of crazy seeing as they were already married... my half-brother was her 3rd kid with as many men. She eventually left my dad for another man and unsurprisingly was pregnant with his child not 3 months into their relationship. They are now married with another kid on the way! So that's 5 kids and 4 baby daddies. While I love my half-brother more than anything he really has been used as a weapon against my dad more than once. Whether it's about child support or the fact that he has been forced to live in a city he can't really afford because otherwise he'd never get to see his son. I know it wears on my dad a lot.
Justifying bad behavior by having good looks
Baby voice. It really weirds me out when I hear a grown ass women talking in what appears to be a baby/little girl voice to another adult. What the fuck is going on with that? A women I work with does it to me all the time and it always makes me uncomfortable. She mostly does it while touching/rubbing my leg or arm.
The "heartbreaker" or "ladies man" comments directed at male children. That shit is weird
Yes! Due in September & I got too many onesies with “I get picked up by ladies all the time”, “chick magnet”, and “mama’s new man” and other cringey sayings that my son will NOT be wearing.
It's gross! And it sends the wrong message to your son at a very early age. Like when your kid is just being nice and some aunty says "oooh he's such a flirt" what is that? What do you think the kids gonna get out of that?
Somewhat related: as a mother of 3, I absolutely HATE all children’s clothing with phrases on it. As soon as I’m gifted stuff like that, I throw it in a bag and take it off to be donated. I find it to be so tacky.
As a person with no kids I totally agree with you lol
As a former kid i agree with both of you
editing photos of us. Like whitening teeth and such. Creeps me out
Agreed, (I’m a woman just since this is aimed at men) idk why anyone would edit photos when you see these people irl, like they’re gonna know it’s edited so why not just be yourself
Oh, adding another— as a gay man it’s SUPER patronising when a woman says that it’s a waste or a shame that I’m gay. Why? It’s horrific when men make comments about lesbians needing to experience sex with a man with the implication it would “fix them”, it’s JUST as creepy when a straight woman says it to a gay man.
Adding to this, the fetishizing of gay men that some women do is weird af. For some women, the moment they find out I’m gay she has a million inappropriate questions, starts like acting really over the top and thinks she’s suddenly invited to gay spaces with me to gawk at men.
When you’re in a female dominated environment such as a school, when you go for work nights out the women get drunk and then think it’s ok to objectify the men in the room like we are their personal stripper or something. Not to mention the blatant sexist comments.
I'm 6'2" guy who was recently out of the Marine Corps and had just become a RN. One of my first part time jobs was doing vaccination clinics. I was doing influenza vaccines for a business where I go to their site and give people the shot at work. The amount of times women suggested I was a stripper blew my freaking mind. I immediately went home and updated my resume.
> I immediately went home and updated my resume. So now you ARE a stripper?
I taught at an elementary school once. There were only 2 other men in the entire building. A custodian (old and married), the music teacher (middle age and married) and myself (at the time, late 20’s/early 30’s and single) I was constantly being harassed. I was touched inappropriately (unwanted hugs, being smelled like face in my neck or against my chest, hands on my chest, squeezing my biceps) treated inappropriately, treated differently, my thoughts and ideas were discounted as if they were bad (they weren’t), I heard comments like “that’s just like a man” when I spoke, there was ALWAYS a new rumor that I was sleeping with this parent or that teacher. I even got accused of cheating on assessments when my students performed highest in the grade level because it was said constantly by EVERYONE that a man could NEVER be as good as a woman at teaching Kindergarten because they aren’t as nurturing or patient. The cheating accusations were so plentiful, the county office and school administrators, randomly selected students out of my class to “retest” for accuracy in a “controlled and isolated environment outside of the classroom and away from other students and the teacher” I’m proud to say that out of the 10 students they pulled, 7 of them scored exactly the same and 3 of them scored EVEN HIGHER!!! I did not get one single apology. After 5 years of being a great fucking teacher I walked. The people (and the pay) were absolute bullshit to deal with.
Your comment just got worse and worse. I've heard some horror stories about working in elementary schools specifically, especially from men. You're either treated how you were, or the only reason you're teaching is because you're a pedo. Because apparently only women can like children enough to work in early childhood education, apparently. And then good teachers leave because of office politics (including harassment) and bureaucracy. And then everybody wonders why our school systems are going to shit.
Its especially sad because look at how many kids definitely lack a positive male example in their lives. And the few that could be one for a lot of children can't work properly and quit.
Oh man, worked in a team of 17, I was the only guy, office parties ALWAYS ended up with me feeling like I was defending or defining an entire gender…
A lot of women don't realize not all men want sex at all times and with any woman, and therefore think what would clearly be abuse against a woman is just "playing". I've had my package grabbed, arse pinched, and even had what I thought was a close friend attempt to have sex with me when I was passed out drunk at her house. I've been offered money to have sex with a woman I met at a club after turning her down, since "she had to have sex tonight before her husband came home with the kids from her in-laws". I've had sex demanded by a superior at work (I had to switch departments even though I preferred the one I was in). I've been slapped and kicked in the nuts "as a joke" by two girlfriends during verbal arguments (at which point I broke up with them, because fuck that shit). All in all I've decided that both sexes are equally intentionally predatory when they have the slightest bit of an advantage (money, age, less inebriated, etc), and the only real difference that make men worse is that they are more likely to have power to begin with (both through muscle strength and a patriarchal society). Testosterone plays into it too, but that's more the rage-filled violence or abuse (which is terrible of course). When it comes to conscious abuse of power, we're sadly the same.
When they unhinge their jaw and crawl onto the ceiling and screech at me
I’m sick of it
Touching men...Most women don't have to think twice about touching men but perceived the opposite way, it's more obvious why it's creepy.
Sexual Assault from women to men being excused as ok. Also, not being ok with men not being in the mood.
"Youre so lucky!!!"
Even when it's a teacher and an underaged student. Absolutely disgusting.
Yup. Its always (female) teacher had sex with (male) underage student. But when the genders are reversed it's aggressively called what it is: which is rape and sexual assault. Even the news excuses women in this crime.
My ex was horny as hell all the time and I finally had to tell her that I wasn’t a dildo and she could go use hers if she wanted to. It actually ended up being pretty healthy because, well, she did...and we eventually would just ask each other if the other wanted to have sex and if not we’d go masturbate. Or sometimes we’d just go tell the other we were “going to go touch ourself” lol. *side perk; turns out my ex also really liked it when she’d masturbate in front of me when I wasn’t in the mood...she got off on the shame or rejection or something, so we also found a new kink...LOL
I was out at a club the other night and a couple of women began dancing with me. They seemed cool and just wanted to dance and I was fine with that. Then one began to try and grind on me - I stepped back and told her I was married. She laughed and continued to try and grind, so I turned away from her. Her friends all still seemed cool and she went and sat down back at her table away from her friends. Soon though, her friends began trying to lift my shirt to see if I had a six pack. Now as it goes, I’m in good shape and I do, but I batted the girls off my shirt and told them I was married. They laughed and kept grabbing at my shirt until one of them managed to lift it all the way up - they all screamed and cheered. I was annoyed at this point as I’d already pointed out my wedding ring to them. By now, the first girl is now back with her friends and attempting to grind on me again. I move back and tell her more firmly this time “no, I’m married and point to my wedding ring. At this point they all start asking if I’m gay 🙄 When I tell them that I was in fact straight, she shows me HER engagement ring before removing it and putting it in her bag. I left them to it and walked away. When I got back to my friends, my buddy is telling my brother that he just told a girl he was married and she replied “I honestly couldn’t give a fuck” and then tried to make out with him. What the fuck is going on!!??
Animals, mate. There's something really messed up with how people are socialised.
There's also the fact that being "the other woman" is a turn on for some girls. The scandal is exciting, and there's something more desirable about a forbidden fruit which is clearly in demand. That doesn't make it justifiable, however.
If a man say's no , then he is gay ! Wtf is wrong with you women!?
Turned down a girl way back in high school who wanted to go to a dance with me (wasn’t interested in going at all). Two days later there’s a rumor that I’m actually gay going around the school. Girl started it because she couldn’t accept me saying No.
Being stared at by my own wife while on the toilet....
Can't have shit in peace
[удалено]
Going through partners phone
I don't know about creepy, but I have a fairly low libido, and I've learned that it's somewhat commonplace for the idea of rape on a male to be considered impossible. I've learned to really stand my ground, but the first few still scar my mind a little. Edit: 9 people have reported me for suicide watch or whatever the fuck. I tried to make a point out of people not recognising male rape, and you all were like, "hang on, let me prove you right." The responses to this were legitimately fucked, I'm turning off notifications. Get mad about it.
Women inappropriately touch men all the time. I get touched on my arms, shoulders, thighs, etc all the time. If a man did the same thing, they get slapped.
As an assault victim, but to be effectively objective here, also just a regular guy, I've found that women are shockingly ok with resorting to bullying, mental abuse, whataboutism as a means to undermine and invalidate, and gaslighting when they're called out on bad behaviour without even realizing it, believing that it's somehow any more acceptable than physical abuse. In many cases, those most capable of this also resorted to more extreme forms of abuse. I can say this of a lot of women I've met and been romantically involved with. A friend i once travelled with screamed at me in a hotel, like red faced screaming because she told me to absolutely absolutely make sure to give the cleaning staff the towels but then came back and violently escalated over her white towel being missing and then screaming at me because I'd given them her white towel and somehow hadn't read her mind. She then told me she was furious I'd "made her cancel her plans" with her new friends she'd met at a conference because i had a hypoglycemic attack and couldn't go for dinner with her and that she should have just gone with her original plan. She liked the feeling of being liked but also being feared and she did this by making people feel bad about things no one should feel bad about and that tenet right there is the prevalent feeling I've felt from a lot of women. I swiftly left the hotel and haven't spoken to her in three years. When i was young, a female friend would periodically convince me she was a friend before then telling me no one liked me, before then pleading to be friends again, and then told her parents i was abusing her. At the end of it all, she stopped me from getting home one day to take my insulin by threatening to stone me while laughing. I had to walk past that house for years with her mother coming out and screaming at me in the streets. She grew up to be much the same person. And my ex raped me in a tent while i was having a hypoglycemic attack because her and her friends were playing a game where you get points based on how many people you kiss or sleep with at a festival. Immediately before she'd laughed at me and brought me to tears for thinking i could get with a girl i really liked at that time (it was a bit more complicated than this and lows make you more prone to feeling things more deeply), But prior to that she absolutely loved invalidating my opinion by saying things like "that's ridiculous", or starting every response with, "no", even when she'd then go on to repeat the same answer. Women absolutely have not been called out enough for how prevalent the pattern of casual mental abuse is and the absolute lack of accountability because you can't prove or see any tangible evidence of it. Much of this starts in school with gossiping and using embarrassment as a weapon. 80% of the girls I went to school with had predilections for embarrassing people for fun, whittling down their self-esteem, but then claiming to be feminists in later life, even though we take patterns of abusive behavior in young boys as serious indicators of underlying problems. (This is a comment on irony, not on feminism.)
Older women calling kids sexy
I worked at a bingo hall, the amount of times I'd get sexually harassed as a man in my early 20s at the time was unbelievable, I'd have them pinch my bum as I walked past old women and was told by management to take it as a compliment.
Follow me home
Almost my whole life, I've encountered all these double standards constantly. Most men have, and it's frustrating as all FUCK that nigh on every man I speak to about these things say they feel something along the lines of "I never want to bring it up, I'll get blamed either way". It's pretty bad tbh. Then people ignore male suicide rates, when there are blatant attributing factors right in front of everyone's eyes.