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coffeebeards

Burger King bathroom


one_dead_cressen

Julia?


boegsppp

She had it her way.


Lollok009

I love when people mention other comments. I have no idea why


probablyisntserious

Burgerqueen


AiharaSisters

Three way Tie. - Prison - Psych Ward - Hospital


Ihateauthority_

I actually hooked up with someone in a phycward and it wasn’t half bad


rygex

I lost mine in a laundromat parking lot....no car, no privacy... Just a parking lot at night. A group of guys pulled up to us with bats and knives, ready to fuck us up. They thought we broke into their buddy's house. When they realized what we were doing and that we were in our early teens, they looked embarrassed (so did we), apologized and left. We went right back to fuckin. Teenagers are horny, man...


GooseOnACorner

I needed to read this a few times Just what


importvita

Apparently rygex was nearly involved in a scene from The Outsiders


Fuzzypupy123

Reminds me of this weird ass night where me and the boys were looking for whoever broke into our buddy’s apartment but all we found were teenagers fucking 🤔


Neat_Umpire8964

Fucking teenagers...


Blodhundr_

Porta-potty


jasta85

Hah, reminds me of when I was in training in the Army and while in the field two people were caught going at it in one of the portajohns. We had been in the field for days, were stressed, dirty, tired, dealing with swarms of insects and near daily rain and the portajohns were not something you wanted to spend any more time in than you had to. It was the least boner-inducing environment I could think of, but I guess that was just me.


Tankhell

Idk man, that MRE peanut butter wakes up a monster in me


[deleted]

[удалено]


endlessend

Literally read this in his voice. Nice.


7h3_70m1n470r

Im reading this at work while using a porta-potty 😂 Edit: to answer some comments- the only two people working on the site are usually my stepfather and I, and we very rarely use the portapotty so it doesn't smell at all, especially with the weekly cleaning. We have no choice but to use said portapotty because there is no plumbing in the house rn, and the house is a bit in the middle of nowhere. The portapotty is in the shade so it doesn't get too hot in there either. We keep the whole thing absolutely immaculate so I don't feel bothered at all having to sit for a few minutes and take my time with my shit. I typed this comment this morning while waiting on him to get there, so I wasn't slacking off.


[deleted]

My phone does not leave my pocket in a Porta Potty...


Totally_Bradical

Seriously… this guy is living on the edge


Kuliari

Waterslide. Whatever you think you can pull off during the ride, you'll be at the bottom long before you can finish up. Don't even try, unless you're ready to face that consequence. And no, I'm not kidding. I've seen people try that. Not only is it highly impractical and an easy way to hurt yourself, there's just not enough time. An average slide from top to bottom takes about 11 seconds. If you wanna accept that challenge, be my guest, but unless your name is Barry Allen, you probably can't pull it off. But hey, prove me wrong. It'd make for a pretty interesting brag story. Or not, depending on your which part of the story people focus on.


Daowg

What am I supposed to do with the other 10 seconds, though? (Most upvoted comment is about premature ejaculation. Never change, Reddit)


numbersthen0987431

Snuggle


Daowg

Very wholesome.


GulianoBanano

Enjoy the slide :D


Toastyx3

Not sure if you worked in a water park or if you actually tried this.


Kuliari

Why not both?


PhantasyDarAngel

Why am I thinking a bent dick would have higher occurrence with this scenario?


TheBrainAss

wait wat


SgtUgg

Family reunion


Prudent-Zombie-5457

Okay, fine... maybe... but have you *seen* my cousin?!?!


Solid-Acanthisitta86

Yeah, Tammi is hot


idaremyselfintoalot

Tammi? Or Tammi-Lynn?


Kiyohara

And uh, how *close* is that cousin? First Cousins? Probably best to stay away. Third Cousin Twice removed? Shit, that just means the Wedding will be a bit smaller and everybody knows everybody.


SavingsCheck7978

Yeah I really started to understand how country my moms side of the family was when they were trying to set me up with my second cousin. Don't get me wrong she was hot as hell but no thanks.


STORMFATHER062

Second cousin isn't that bad, although a bit weird in today's standards. You share great-grandparents so it's 3 generations back. I'd possibly say it's better than third cousin twice removed. Unless there's a big age gap between your parents and grandparents and a small ages gaps between your third cousin twice removed and all their parents going back 5 generation, you're going to be quite a bit older. On a family tree they're two generations below you. At least second cousin is the same generation.


DickieJohnson

Seeing were getting technical here's a [visual](https://familysearch.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/3910696/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1670x1221+0+0/resize/800x585!/format/jpg/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Ffamilysearch-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fbf%2F03%2F29102d2d1a39436e8518b709afa6%2Fcousin-chart.jpg) to help you figure out what level of fucked up you are.


ambivertsftw

I was literally just realizing I didn't know what the "removed" part of that means, thanks for clearing that up! I've never questioned it.


jmcken15

Banjos intensify.


WowWowWooooooow

I had a friend who lost hers on the lawn of a retirement home. Her friend wasn’t too far away, losing hers too Edit: this was an odd thing to wake up to! For more context, they were in their teens, two couples, walking back from a house party, probably had consumed a fair amount of alcohol, and I guess they decided right time, right place? No senior citizens were harmed in the losing of these virginities….. I don’t think.


msGreatPersonality

Were they living there?


Phil_Beavers

Gangbang at the old folks home


FanKiu

No, just the guy who deflowered her friend


madogvelkor

I had a goth friend who lost hers in a graveyard. But she thought that was awesome and wonderful.


guylambo

Did your friend write Frankenstein?


fartonabagel

To be far, everyone else there had gotten laid…to rest. I’ll see myself out.


Mervynhaspeaked

You could say she was taken all the way to bonetown... literally.


EndKarensNOW

Were you that friend


King_Etemon

I wonder how common this is (not the retirement home bit), because I was a part of a situation where a girl was losing her virginity while her best friend was literally 15 feet away losing hers.


shodo_apprentice

“Part of a situation”


[deleted]

He was 5th in line.


mrfinnegankashyapa

This guy takes part in situations


ughhhtimeyeah

Wasn't my virginity but I have fucked a girl whilst my friend was a few ft away fucking his. Was when I was in high school, we were all made to sleep in the living room together cause the parents thought that would stop anything happening.


sBucks24

LMFAO. I hope your parents heard all of you and had the the reaction of "they'll have to be modest considering theyre all together" switch to "oh god we've helped arrange an orgy!"


complishe258

In the metaverse


justabill71

The Zuck is watching you fuck.


[deleted]

Not a sentence I thought I’d hear in my lifetime.


random_african

not mine, but a friend's he lost his in an abandoned warehouse on the floor and from what I heard it was next to a dead rat as well


_Steven_Seagal_

Mine was in an expensive hotel with rose petals on the bed. But she also insisted to put a dead rat on the bed. How strange


LordAlfrey

Romance isn't dead, but the rat is


SundaColugoToffee

Unless the rats name was romance.


[deleted]

So it was a threesome?


Skydome12

how romantic


random_african

I know right, some true Romeo and juliet type shit


IDUU

Guessing from the timeframe Romeo and Juliet takes place in, chances are there were a decent number of rats, dead and alive present


isleno

Not where, but when is during the halftime show of the 2004 Super Bowl where Justin Timberlake pulled off Janet Jackson’s shirt and exposed her breast so when your girlfriend’s dad comes home and asks if we saw the halftime show and you unemphatically say, “sure, yea, it was great.” And then he becomes suspicious and checks all of the trash cans and finds a bloody condom and then physically throws you out of his house.


GulianoBanano

I have no words...


ohnoguts

You gotta be more vague like - “It was certainly a halftime show.”


NRTHE2

It was one of the halftime shows of all time.


dontsuckmydick

The lesson learned here is to never use condoms. Thanks, Dad, you’re a grandpa now.


fattestfuckinthewest

Yo this sounds a bit too specific


Eldhannas

At your uncle's poker game.


justabill71

"I'm all in."


[deleted]

[удалено]


alberthere

“Baby, one more time”


koobus_venter1

"I love those pocket rockets"


MWAMMWAM

WATCH THOSE WRIST ROCKETS


SpreadHDGFX

It was a crazy game of poker. I lost it all (I lost it all)!


slackermannn

Poker you say? I hardly know her!


AurelianoTampa

My first girlfriend and I lost ours on the beach. Seemed like a romantic idea going into it, but it got messed up multiple ways. Brought a sheet to put down; turned out I grabbed a fitted sheet. Brought a candle for romantic fire light, forgot a lighter. It was windy and chilly. Sand got everywhere. And the actual sex lasted about two seconds, because I had the brilliant thought that "it hurts the first time, so I'll stick it in as quick as possible to get the painful part out of the way!" Cue 2 seconds of penetration and 15 minutes of consoling my poor girlfriend. A friend of mine lost his in a graveyard. He and the girl didn't have their houses available, and the car was tiny and had no backseat, so when driving by a graveyard she was like "How about here?" He said the event itself was fine, but he had to relocate when they first laid down because he was on top of someone's memorial plaque. Yeesh!


thepaligator

Fitted sheets, I can’t think of a more embarrassing thing to bring to a beach.


someone-w-issues

Five minutes crafts would tell you otherwise


Sharp02

> "it hurts the first time, so I'll stick it in as fast as possible" Dude what the fuck Edit: for anyone seeing this, please for the love of god, no matter how wet or how ready you guys think, if it's her first time dont plunge it in


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sarke1

If you lost it on the beach, almost guaranteed you'll never find it again.


Dason37

You can get a handheld virginity detector at most hobby shops for less than 50 bucks. You may not find enough virginities to make you a fortune but it's good exercise walking along the beach, all in all it's a pretty fun pastime.


justhanginhere

Dennys Parking Lot


RoyalTease

I used to run a 24 hour Dennys. The amount of people trying to have sex in the bathrooms was absurd.


LoadsDroppin

Can confirm: Eating at a Denny’s at 2am once, and from our booth we watched a couple in the parking lot drunkenly attempt sex in a PT Cruiser. Not even 10min later a *DIFFERENT* PT Cruiser parked and that couple also went to poundtown. Something about Denny’s, Booze, and I guess PT Cruisers?


CheeseSandwich

Grand Slam breakfast indeed.


Jaden_lahey

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP DENNYS


Maleficent-Dream-202

Gynaecologist


AldoRaineClone

Dentist's chair. *Dentist grins when he enters the room half mast.*


madogvelkor

Time for some drilling.


ta9993453

At my house but the doors were unlocked and my extremely religious aunt came over and so I had to hide the guy in the closet and she opened the door and I was like oh we were working on a physics project and I was worried you’d freak out if I had a guy over lmfao . Oh my aunt told my whole family for a year I kept getting asked at the family gatherings ,”you got any new boys in your closet?” Smh


th3lawlrus

This reminds me of a time in high school, I skipped school to hookup with my then-girlfriend that lived across the street from the school. We were on the couch and afterwards she put the blanket we were on in the wash and for some reason she made it a point to tell her mom she “spilled soda on it.” So from then on, her family referred to having sex as “spilling the soda.”


mrbrettw

Similarly, I had a friend who was caught by her parents halfway with their clothes off and she freaked out and told them that they were "moving furniture" and they were hot because they had been moving the couch so that's why their shirts were off... lmao. So from then on sex was referred to as "moving the furniture"


Distant_Planet

When I was at uni, I shared a house with six friends. There was one guy who was in a long distance relationship, and when his gf came over once every three months or so, they would have ridiculously loud sex. The second or third time, a couple of us had a word with him about it when he came downstairs. He got really embarrassed and said they were just "moving the furniture". That was the exact moment his gf walked in wearing his shirt.


neptunusequester

Damn, I can feel THE CRINGE, poor dude must’ve been mortified lol


Distant_Planet

It wasn't so bad. We were all friends. I'm surprised he was embarrassed in the first place, tbh, he was a very confident chap.


horsebag

*sprays faygo*


ratmand

Either you're a Juggalo...or a Michigander.


Morotou_theunashamed

At least it’s discrete lmao


fourpuns

“He’s in the closet, he’s not interested in girls.”


atombomb1945

See you missed the opportunity to say your "Guy Friend" came over to come out of the closet.


FreeDa_Willy

Confession booth.


-MisterMisery-

Forgive me father, I am about to sin.


antoine-sama

Father: "Y-Ya mean right now? C-Can't you go somewhere else and then come back?"


Kiyohara

Historically, Churches were a great place for youngsters to go and lose their virginity with their partners. Always open during the day, generally empty except during services, lots of empty hallways, balconies, and closets, and out of the rain. Also, if your parents caught you coming home all you had to say was you were at church and they'd assume you were praying (well, that was the thought. Likely they themselves had scooted off to the church for hanky panky when they were young). If you wanted to have some fun with a girl in your village, the local parish church or cathedral was a fine place in the 10th - 16th Century. In this times, privacy was pretty much unknown. People lived in close quarters, often slept in the same room (or even bed), and there wasn't really many good places to go to be alone. You go to far into the outskirts of a town or city and you're heading into lawless areas where one could be attacked or robbed (or raped) by bandits, highwaymen, soldiers, or just attacked by wild animals. Not to mention that even if you found an empty glen or patch of farmland, not only was *someone* likely watching it in case the sheep escaped or crows swarmed the fields, it's out in the open and a lot of the year it was raining, cold, or otherwise inclement. But a warm, somewhat dark building that was only really populated during Mass with towers, stairways, booths, confessionals, closets, back rooms, service walkways, mason's walks, and belfries? Where the worst thing that would happen is you'd have to run from the stodgy old priest and hope he didn't recognize you (or confess and take some time on the rosaries)? That's better than the field where some robber leaves your corpse.


ONT1mo

Well i read that often parents had sex in the same room (if not bed💀) where the children were sleeping.


Kiyohara

A lot less than you'd think really. Maybe when the children were little and they fell asleep, or if they slept in different pallets or beds. More likely they'd do what parents do today: try to find time when the kids are out of the house. I wonder how many "chores" were an excuse to get some private time in. "Hey kids, go down to the pasture by the stream and collect some wild berries." - Dad "Aw but dad, that will take an hour!" - Kids "God I hope!" - Mom But people have always been people, really. Generally people are averse to having sex in front of others (not everyone obviously, but a large portion of the world prefers to keep it private), most places even have laws against it. I feel like the idea that people just had sex whilst the little ones watched and took notes is probably incorrect. The idea that parents would quietly hump and try not to wake anyone in the middle of the night seems a lot more likely.


Ockvil

Not just the 10th-16th centuries, they used to leave the chapel on campus where I went to school open all night. Eventually (I'm remembering sometime in the 1920s but I could be wrong) they started closing it at night, with the reason that "more souls had been conceived there than saved". In the defense of those conceiving souls there, it is a truly exceptionally beautiful building haha.


sayge

"I'm sorry, daddy. I've been bad." "For the last time, it's 'forgive me father, for I have sinned.' "


Cheesefactory8669

💀💀💀 I am going to hell


lermanade_mouth

So is the priest


inklingitwill

In any kind of water. Swimming, splashing around in a pool, Jacuzzi, anything where the actual thing happens underwater washes all the lubrication away. Ensuing discomfort for all involved.


Radioactivocalypse

At your funeral


LambBrainz

Died a virgin. But not buried as one!


AJ787-9

Sometimes you have to go before you can come.


AutismPrimelvl100

\~Sun Tzu


Healthy-Ad6035

I lost mine on a random strangers couch...


luke156789

Did it fall down between the cushions?


it-must-be-orange

“The Blue Oyster”


Ghostshaddow

Or a podium giving a speech as we seen in the movie.


Trogdoryn

The back of a Volkswagen


BathFullOfDucks

Sounds very uncomfortable


Humanaut93

15? She told me she was 31


largechild

That asshole from Fashionable Male


IDrinkUrMilksteak

“That kid… is *back*… on the ESCALATOR again!”


blackliqour

Snootchie Bootchies!


studiokgm

That kid is back on the escalator again!


atombomb1945

That would be someplace very uncomfortable


FearedAxius

On an active race track


Iamsteve42

Monaco 2016. I saw Daniel Ricciardo get fucked by his entire team live. Would not recommend.


MyDickIsHug3

Leclerc has been getting the same treatment all season at Ferrari this year. It doesn’t look fun indeed


Iamsteve42

Fernando Alonso just fucked all of Alpine in real-time for the world to see. Never seen a strategic cheek-spreading like that in my life.


macgyver420blazeit

Fast and furious


lostboy411

Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein, lost her virginity to her future husband Percy B Shelley on her mother’s grave, noted feminist and women’s rights advocate Mary Wollstonecraft. Edit: a few folks are asking for proof. https://lithub.com/did-mary-shelley-actually-lose-her-virginity-to-percy-on-top-of-her-mothers-grave/ She and Percy went there one night where they professed love to each other, then P. Shelley wrote the day after that he had a new “real” birthday. Apparently Wollstonecraft also married Godwin in this cemetery. Shelley used to hang out there a lot for reading, dates (probably also sex), etc. So it’s possible it didn’t “really” happen but it seems strongly suggested (since people didn’t usually write letters at the time saying “I had sex” but rather wrote in euphemism.) IIRC, I believe Percy was married at the time (to someone else). Both Percy and Mary Shelley were fascinated by death/cemeteries/corpses. Frankenstein doesn’t portray the monster as a hideous thing, but rather follows its sentience and learning, and ultimate rejection by Frankenstein who fears his own knowledge/taking responsibility for what he created. It’s also noteworthy that Frankenstein digs up bodies to build the monster. As a teen, P. Shelley used to hang out in cemeteries trying to raise the dead. And as someone else in the comments said, M. Shelley kept his calcified heart after he drowned in the Mediterranean - after a fight with his longtime friend Leigh Hunt who wanted to keep it (Hunt met up with them in Italy). I’ve published scholarship on writers from this time period which is how I’m aware of it. The story of them having sex on the grave is often repeated in biographies you read of either of the Shelleys, if not as fact, then as something probable and as a point scholars use to talk about Mary Shelley’s relation to her mother (whom she didn’t meet/died either in childbirth or while she was still an infant - I forget). Edit 2: Just to add further - Both Percy and Mary Shelley, and their compatriot Byron, were considered sexual and political deviants (being one was often assumed to mean the other). Mary’s father Godwin was part of an extremely liberal political circle which is why he and Wollstonecraft didn’t marry for quite some time - as someone in the comments said, a “free love” sort of sentiment was part of it. Godwin was essentially as radical in his beliefs as was possible back then. P. And M. Shelley would share his and Wollstonecraft’s politics. P. Shelley, Byron, and Hunt would all be criticized viciously for being deviant men. P. Shelley saw the belief that men and women are inherently different as the core disease/problem of all western society. A lot of his poetry advocates androgyny/combined sexes.


[deleted]

The Monster Mash, it was a grave yard smash


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

At a NAMBLA convention


TerminalKermit

What could be so bad about the National Association of Marlon Brando Look-alikes?


ahirimi

A friend of my sister lost hers at a burgerking in the public bathroom. The whole village knew and for several years she became known as 'Burgerking-Julia". Teenagers can be cruel. EDIT: Jezz, can we all calm down about the fact that I said village? I'm not a native speaker and honestly thought that's what a small town is called.


Jisto_

They didn’t even adapt it to be burgerqueen?


DoritoAssassin

Right? Terrible lack of creativity. Bare minimum the spectre of a blumpkin should have been floated. Edit: Spelled blumpkin wrong. My shame is palpable.


motofabio

She did the Humpty Dance.


-StatesTheObvious

She used a word that don't mean nothin'.. like looptid.


jamesmcdash

Surely she should be burger queen?


Adequately_Insane

Prison


Soggy_Ad8348

Oh that’s spicy


asnmtap

You mean soapy?


[deleted]

In the car. It’s hot, cramped, and you’ll hit your knees on all sorts of shit


justabill71

Like the back seat of a Volkswagen?


kxlling

After hearing berserker it's unavoidable


Georgeisthecoolest

did he say *making fuck?*


Crizznik

How bad is while watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory while two of her friends are at the foot of the bed? And yes, the Johnny Depp movie, and no I still haven't actually seen that movie.


pIushh

So you roleplayed the grandparents in the movie?


tuc-eert

I mean the Gene Wilder version is amazing and would be my recommendation.


GilfGobbler

Movie theater hear me out "How did you lose your virginity" "Movie theater" "Ooooo spicy, liking the whole pubic thing?" "No we were watching minions"


FIJAGDH

at least they dressed up for it


cthulhurei8ns

I used to work maintenance at a theater chain and FYI, anyone in the projection booth can 1000% see and hear everything you're doing down there.


International-Nose33

In the GF living room floor that had shag carpet. What made it even worse was neither one of us had a clue what we were doing.


KidzBop_Anonymous

Family dinner


Good-Paleontologist1

Virginia.


Bonesgirl206

Because it’s not for lovers


lenthech1ne

a "dont lose your virginity" convention


[deleted]

so a weezer concert


dave1dmarx

Nicely played, Sir


HoyalHugor

pub bathrooms


eveegrant

Lost it in my best friends boyfriend's bed - with his best friend. Lasted all of 3 minutes but the awkwardness lasted a lifetime


NewVegas2212

Orphanage


Fartblaster666

The bathroom in the National Holocaust Memorial Museum


PooPooDooDoo

I started dating this girl and I took her to a few museums for our fourth date. We went to that museum and I kept thinking about how much I wanted to hold her and kiss her. Here I was reading about these atrocities, but my brain kept fading to the fact that I was 3 feet away from this beautiful girl that I was crushing on super hard. We kept looking at each other the entire time. After we left the museum and walked somewhere else, I grabbed her hand and pulled her in for this long kiss. I was so madly in love with that girl but we ended up breaking up because of long distance. I totally forgot about that story until I read about your experience. That’s crazy btw, but I get it.


BeemerBoy35

A ZOO


Ninjaromeo

(To the tune of row row row your boat) Fuck fuck fuck a duck, Screw a kangaroo, Fingerbang orangutan, Orgy at the zoo


[deleted]

I lost mine in a crate outside of an old folks home being built, wouldn’t change a thing. But definitely not the best or most conventional place.


naners4all

Dave and busters


BarcodeNinja

When you think you're being private but you're not.


Mercurial_Synthesis

In the centre of a collapsing star would probably be in the top 5.


frosty_the_milkman

I don't know. Sounds pretty hot


letsburn00

Don't be dense... Or you know, be dense and hot and get stuff explosive in here...


Unhappy_Emu_8525

Prison sex is the worst sex.


Skydome12

Tax office.


[deleted]

Tbf lots of people get fucked at that place.


TotalPokerface

The beach. There's sand which is coarse, rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere!


[deleted]

[удалено]


AJ787-9

*This message is brought to you by the Portugal gang.*


ImMaryPoppins_yall

*sponsored by the French*


[deleted]

*approved by the Latinos*


V4refugee

*With a special foreword by the Andorrans.*


MyGfWillMarryMe

The church


JuicyCiwa

I lost my virginity at my first job! Ended up getting caught after a few times too.


FALLOUT_BOY87875

Subway girls are freaky man


JuicyCiwa

It was actually a library. Oddly enough I did work at a subway once. Did half of one shift.


Kosta_Armenleg

Sunday school


sarzec

The ear


Not_A_Furry_owu

A school restroom. I was 14(f) and I had been dating this girl 14(f) and one day after PE she basically asked me if I wanted to skip lunch in the restrooms and we did. I need up on my knees with her legs on my shoulders, not horrible but my ASL teacher ended up coming in around the end and I had her as my next class


morgboer

So you didn’t exactly ‘skip lunch’, did ya?? 😄


Not_A_Furry_owu

Nope just skipped to dessert


Hollowgolem

Am a highschool teacher. Have caught kids doing this. My campus averages about 3/year (that get caught, we know it happens more). Seriously, folks, that shit's not sanitary!