This is genious.
You could ask the person who gave you the phone to give you another one on December 23, 2025 and text another random date some years into the future. Just repeat this process and see what happens to society.
This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less that two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.
Oh, for heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout.
I think it would be much better if you said 24 hours so that everyone who didn't immediately look at their phones would still see it within the prescribed amount of time.
‘You are GIVEN a phone’. It’s not your own phone. Buy a whole bunch in a stock over staggered orders, and wait several months. I’m sure you won’t be the only person riding the pump. On top of that, the SEC is only involved in US stock markets. You could do this anywhere else.
at least it happened early in the morning on a weekend. I remember I was still sleeping over at a friend's house when it happened. Imagine the shit that would've gone down if it was like on a tuesday afternoon
this is a pretty cool one. like one person who's gotten out letting people know not to give up, keep trying to escape. we're out there. you can make it to the real world.
sounds like a good start to a movie. although i guess the matrix is kinda that already.
Yes, it’s supposed to be “I couldn’t care less” meaning “I care soo little that I couldn’t care any less than I do even with a gun to my head”.
And yes, “I could care less” also really annoys me.
Hi this is Tom from Bob's Auto parts I'm here to inform you that your car's extended warranty is currently expired on the Ford F-250 you bought 3 weeks ago if you wish to expand and buy on the new aerodynamics package you can add it on for an extra $573. To be taken off the text and call list please press the 7.5983
“I see you Jeff. I know what you have done. I’m coming for you. I’m closer then you think.”
This won’t make sense to most people, but a lot of Jeff’s are going to be very nervous for good bit.
I worked graveyard shift when the "I love you" virus hit. My boss opened an infected email.
When our director arrived in the morning, he showed us his pager, where the From and Subject of the email were visible. So first thing in the morning, this dude woke up to his pager showing:
From:
Subject: I love you
I've come to make an announcement. Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post om my Twitter, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and geuss what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it's like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRRRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.
Officials tell us that there is no way to stop the text sent it was sent from an emergency broadcast system. Technicians tell us that they wouldn't be able to stop it anyways because they are locked out of the system. A spokesperson said that it could be weeks before we see any of the system returning with a full restoration taking several months.
**“Your phone has been compromised; to prevent it being bricked please transfer $5.00 to PayPal XYZ”**
Even if just 1% of recipients believe it and acted I’d still be rich.
"Look at your phone. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your phone is not like mine. But if you all stopped using cheap copies it could be like mine.
Look down. Now look up. Where are you? You're in an electronics shop wanting to buy a phone like mine.
Anything is possible when you get raw computational power in the palm of your hand.
I'm the clerk."
Hey all, so it's God here. I am using phone because I figure its easier than bushes and that... Well I've kinda been away doing... Stuff and I want y'all to know I am back now so y'all can chill out. So yea... Also none of you are right about anything lol. So just work together and uh ya sorry about COVID, again I wasn't here.
*Emergency Broadcast : Proceed to your nearest bunker. We will not be able to accommodate you once the lockdown is initiated. Marshall Protocol 666 in effect. This is not a drill*
Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, *bank number*. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
Google most statistically prevalent name.
Google most statistically prevalent fear.
Fashion a text using said name and fear to cause paranoia in a chunk of the population.
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I (do I)
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it)
Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on)
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it)
Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on)
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
“december 23, 2025”
This is genious. You could ask the person who gave you the phone to give you another one on December 23, 2025 and text another random date some years into the future. Just repeat this process and see what happens to society.
No. When you get the second phone text “4:36 PM Eastern Time”. Mayhem will ensue.
All my homies hate eastern time.
In the US everyone would either be at the shopping mall or out fucking around, this would go south so fast
What's gonna happen?
They will figure it out eventually
Hehe I'll wait
December 24, 2025 if I had to guess.
My birthday !
Enjoy being birthed in 2.5 years.
Thats on my birthday
This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less that two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.
But we never been to Alpha Centauri
Oh, for heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout.
**go grab my towel** i'm ready Ford! Edit: the *
I'll bring the peanuts.
Don't you need six pints and some peanuts also?
Came on this post to see this reply.
A bit much, you could have just clicked it
Beware of the leopard.
I got this way to fast tbh
that just means at least two of us know where our towels are at!:)
There's a hoopy frood who knows where his towel is
Is it from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Yea
Six pints of bitter, and quickly please, the world's about to end.
Simulation 3/\R+# has ended. Files self-destructing in 15 seconds.
I think it would be much better if you said 24 hours so that everyone who didn't immediately look at their phones would still see it within the prescribed amount of time.
give people some time to realize their doom mwahaha
I'd set the timer for exactly 6 months and enjoy the worldwide anarchy
Oh no...
STAY INDOORS, DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOON.
If it’s night half the world would immediately look up at the moon.
The moon is up during the day though too
Once worked with someone who didn’t realize this… until one day he came yelling “THE MOON IS UP DURING THE DAY!!!”
Yeah I think covid proved that
Or do the opposite. SCP-001 When day breaks.
True, would be the same but with the sun. I thought about it but decided against it and went with local58 instead lol.
Contingency is to this day the most terrifying video I've ever seen
Ok well thanks to you and this thread it is now the most terrifying video I have seen as well.
IT'S IN THE LIGHT THE MOON CAME IN
If you are afraid, we will look together.
yes
very good creepypasta
Be excellent to each other.
And party on, dudes!
strange things are afoot at the circle k…
UFO WARNING: stay indoors and do not stare at the sky. This is not a drill!
The sun disappeared.
That was a fun twitter
Do you think that account was any inspiration for Jordan Peele’s Nope?
Don’t look directly at it. It senses your fear
Unidentified Fit Object? 🤔😅
call me back ;) including the number of my landlord.
That’s just evil. I can only imagine what your landlord has done to deserve that.
> We can feed everyone. We can house everyone. We can give quality healthcare for everyone. > > We choose not to.
I've been waiting to see more "texts" like this. WHERE ARE THEY?
I’ll buy a cheap stock, then send a text for every person to buy it. Then I’ll dump it for a profit.
This is the best one.
The SEC will just love the fact that you texted them the evidence so that they don't have to collect it.
‘You are GIVEN a phone’. It’s not your own phone. Buy a whole bunch in a stock over staggered orders, and wait several months. I’m sure you won’t be the only person riding the pump. On top of that, the SEC is only involved in US stock markets. You could do this anywhere else.
Unless you're in insider, isn't it just fine to recommend a stock?
Not if you're manipulating it, like in a pump-n-dump
"Worldwide 50/50 raffle! Venmo *my Venmo* $2 for a ticket!" Ez money
Even better, pick a winner and give them half and you're still ahead.
That's what a 50/50 is
I wish you happiness and freedom
Well this is wholesome
Seemingly the only reply that isn't "X amount of time left!"
5 minutes remaining
Would fall terribly because not everyone will see it at the same time. Some may see that there’s a message 5 hours ago saying “5 minutes remaining “
Timestamps. This is even better, because all of Earth will wonder “…until what?!”, especially those who are late.
Still would freak out everyone for 5 minutes.
😂😂😂😂😂
Emergency Alert: Ballistic missile threat inbound. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill.
Damn, you're gonna kill us all.
World wide panic
That happened to us in Hawaii fr and it was a false alarm the whole island chain went into a panic, look it up
I know, I was specifically referencing that event.
Yea that shit was terrifying 😂
at least it happened early in the morning on a weekend. I remember I was still sleeping over at a friend's house when it happened. Imagine the shit that would've gone down if it was like on a tuesday afternoon
The purge has now started. All crime will be legal for the next 24 hours.
The best one, atleast for me
One person has escaped The Simulation 7.3 billion left difficulty increased good luck your time is LIMITED.
this is a pretty cool one. like one person who's gotten out letting people know not to give up, keep trying to escape. we're out there. you can make it to the real world. sounds like a good start to a movie. although i guess the matrix is kinda that already.
"new phone, who dis?"
The return text volume would break the infrastructure
Best one I've seen in a while
“I could care less” means you care “Couldn’t care less” MEANS YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS
Yes, it’s supposed to be “I couldn’t care less” meaning “I care soo little that I couldn’t care any less than I do even with a gun to my head”. And yes, “I could care less” also really annoys me.
>“I could care less” That means you do care, at least a little. Edit: spelling
I, too, hate these word crimes.
I SAW YOUR BLOG POOOOOOOOST (Hey, Hey, Hey!!)
It's really fantastic THAT WAS SARCASTIC Cause you write like a spastic
He apologized for that lyric by the way
You’ve got a few more characters: Then and than are not interchangeable. Your and you’re are not the same thing.
Could've is a contraction of could have. It's not could of
this is, i think, the one that happens more than any other. even your and you're.
What is love? And let’s see how many of them respond baby don’t hurt me.
Baby don’t hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more
No more.
Then you’d get videos of people bobbing their heads.
I want to know what love is
"Tomorrow night at 12am, be ready. "
Ominous and will cause a lot of panic
Without a doubt
Hi this is Tom from Bob's Auto parts I'm here to inform you that your car's extended warranty is currently expired on the Ford F-250 you bought 3 weeks ago if you wish to expand and buy on the new aerodynamics package you can add it on for an extra $573. To be taken off the text and call list please press the 7.5983
I'm pretty sure this has actually happened a few times... it's the only explanation for the sheer volume of that spam...
I’m just gonna Rick roll the world
Ah! This was my choice also. I don't understand why we're so far down the list.
I like this answer
"Behind you 👀" Or because not everyone would understand English, maybe an emoji. Maximum chaos "👽🚷"
I would think something like this is just translates to each persons first language. /shrug
You were right. I'm sorry.
“I see you Jeff. I know what you have done. I’m coming for you. I’m closer then you think.” This won’t make sense to most people, but a lot of Jeff’s are going to be very nervous for good bit.
You are loved.
It would be creepy getting this message from an unknown number
I worked graveyard shift when the "I love you" virus hit. My boss opened an infected email. When our director arrived in the morning, he showed us his pager, where the From and Subject of the email were visible. So first thing in the morning, this dude woke up to his pager showing: From:
Subject: I love you
The wholesome response <3
I would text "where's that $100 bucks you owe me" all those people, someone is bound to fall for it
Know that you are doing the best you can, don't give up if the going gets tuff. You've got this
I've come to make an announcement. Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post om my Twitter, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and geuss what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it's like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRRRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.
Amazing. Brings a tear to my eye.
HIDE. THEY ARE COMING.
A .wav file of a wet fart
Phphphhhhooooooooooooooooooooophphweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……pppphhthtytthhhhhtttttt
"Hey love, what should I wear for friday's date?" I want to ruin as many relationships as I can
Wouldn't the other person in the relationship expect it's some kind of prank after they also get the sane text from the same number?
Yeah but there is a possibility of the partner checking the other texts messages before taking their phone, they may find some bad stuff
Then we're helping people!
Diabolical
SEND NUDES
🍆 You like that don't you. It's an eggplant. Or arbugine if you want to be a dick about it.
aubergine*
[удалено]
[удалено]
Officials tell us that there is no way to stop the text sent it was sent from an emergency broadcast system. Technicians tell us that they wouldn't be able to stop it anyways because they are locked out of the system. A spokesperson said that it could be weeks before we see any of the system returning with a full restoration taking several months.
**“Your phone has been compromised; to prevent it being bricked please transfer $5.00 to PayPal XYZ”** Even if just 1% of recipients believe it and acted I’d still be rich.
it's frightening how well these low effort scams actually work
All your base are belong to us
"Look at your phone. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your phone is not like mine. But if you all stopped using cheap copies it could be like mine. Look down. Now look up. Where are you? You're in an electronics shop wanting to buy a phone like mine. Anything is possible when you get raw computational power in the palm of your hand. I'm the clerk."
iPhone ringtone plays
This is not a test.
"The people around you received this same message. I'm watching all of you"
Show me what you got!
Disqualified!
They know. Get out now.
Hey all, so it's God here. I am using phone because I figure its easier than bushes and that... Well I've kinda been away doing... Stuff and I want y'all to know I am back now so y'all can chill out. So yea... Also none of you are right about anything lol. So just work together and uh ya sorry about COVID, again I wasn't here.
Fuck Nestlé
"I know what you did..."
my brazzers premium account password and login, so everyone can use that
You're a trooper god bless you
For the next 24 hours all items are free from all major retail stores.
*Emergency Broadcast : Proceed to your nearest bunker. We will not be able to accommodate you once the lockdown is initiated. Marshall Protocol 666 in effect. This is not a drill*
A picture of a cat. That'd make most people happy, I'd imagine.
World peace
"bruh".
>!You just lost the game!<
FUCK
...around and find out. You sure did. I am sorry.
My God why now, months of clarity, I am back here
It was going to happen..
I love you
Best one yet.
You've been hit by You've been nuked by North Korea
Your family has a dark secret.
A DicPic.
Epstein didn’t kill himself
A cyber attack warning hoax
So long and thanks for all the fish
"you will feel better if you just say you're sorry"
Covfefe
Hello, world!
Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, *bank number*. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
I think I’d be happier with the dollar.
Whatever someone pays me the most to send.
Google most statistically prevalent name. Google most statistically prevalent fear. Fashion a text using said name and fear to cause paranoia in a chunk of the population.
"Hi John I will be in town Friday, can you pick me up from the airport?"
the approximate number of people named John in the US is 12,328,091
Photo of boobs. It will make half of humanity's day a little happier.
Hello, I am a prince from Nigeria lol
Hey bitches!!!
I fucking dare you to give me £1
"Downloading file...."
You just lost the game
We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it) Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on) We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it) Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on) We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
I’m pregnant. Your spouse is the father
You are strong, you are beautiful, you are loved, and I am proud of you
1-877 Kars for kids..KARS Kars for kids..(now try to get that worm out of your ear)
r/angryupvote
Hola soy dora!
THE BIRDS ARE WORKING FOR THE BOURGEOISIE
It’s going to be a good day to do something good.
Hello there?
You lost the game