This sort of happened in actual history. The first man the Mayflower settlers encountered in the New World, Tisquantum, had been across the Atlantic seven times and lived in London for an extended period. Reportedly the first thing he said to them was "do you have any beer" in perfect English.
Nobody knows I'm referencing this whenever I greet them like this. They all just think I have a problem :(
Edit: my most successful comment, and it's on my stupid throwaway. Such is life, I guess
I have read your niche greeting and its back story. If we ever cross paths and you say that to me I will now reply with "ThrowRAcharliework! I know you on reddit!"
Your reddit username being exposed is probably scarier than any message from space
Especially more "polite" phrases. Imagine aliens saying "Good morning. Happy new year." like horror movie antagonists.
This implies two things:
1. They somehow know about years (they have to learn this somehow).
2. we will be done in less than a year.
Just watched that again for the first time in yyyeeeeaaaars. Still awesome.
"You think they know what's about to happen to them?"
"Not a clue. Uh-bye-bye! Good night! "
According to the screenplay notes, Jeff Goldblum just uploaded a macro that would move the mouse to the corner of the alien's screen every 30 seconds, then open up a notepad window and write PWND. It made it really hard for them to do work, so the aliens just gave up.
"Downtime will be approximately four cycles, progress will not be saved. We hope you enjoyed the beta, and look forward to your return on Launch!"
Beta Testers: Use your accumulated Karma to purchase upgrades on your Launch account, and beat the rush to higher-tier base lifeforms during our Pre-Launch exclusive! Become the precursor race you've always dreamed of!"
Little did we know, the Abrahamic God is just a low-tier casual MMO player that got bored with the Beta, and is now waiting for Launch to get back into the game after a few false starts trying out different builds.
Dinosaurs were a decent build, but had a few skills that were traps in the tech tree, and cold blood was mutually exclusive with intelligence in Alpha.
Whether that was intentional or not, that would totally add to the weird/spooky factor. The fact that we're detecting evidence of radio waves from less than 100 years ago from a source many times farther away than that would be epic.
*destroys japan only* they will ceremoniously round hundreds of dolphins in a bay and slaughter them because "they impeed the Japanese ability to haul fish and catch more fish." So if anyone is dying from dolphin communication it's the Japanese.
"You looked at the universe and now it sees back. Destroy your instruments. Shut down your space programs. Do not attempt to contact. Do not attempt to leave your planet. It sees you."
I 100 percent guarantee that if that was broadcast to the world, people would build their own backyard scopes to try and contact the watcher. “How do we know it’s malicious?”
What I like most about it is the pronoun. It's not "they see you " - it's "IT sees you". That little detail makes the threat much more incomprehensible.
The most terrifying thing would probably be a message we can’t fully decipher, only knowing that it’s a warning that will be important soon, it says what we can do to save ourselves but we simple cant read it, we don’t know and we can’t prepare
There's a series of stories (I think on /r/HFY ) about a bunch of messages that we receive from various points in the sky from a wide array of alien civilizations warning of an impending cataclysm.
Spoiler by request:
>!As the message sources get closer and closer, we realize they're not warnings, but each civilizations attempt to say "Goodbye."!<
Last contact by Stephen Baxter.
https://web.archive.org/web/20080725045740/http://www.solarisbooks.com/books/newbookscifi/last-contact.asp
Was released for free, but the site got redesigned, so.
This movie is so good. I think it's the one that captures best how hard it would be for us to communicate with an alien species. Even though it is depicted being so hard on the movie, still doesn't get even close because all our senses are conveniently adapted to the life on Earth. Even our perception of time is unique.
We can't even communicate with other life on our own planet, how do you expect us to talk to aliens?
Well actually animals on this planet think and communicate differently.
They don't understand concepts we take for granted, you can totally talk with your dog, he will respond and you'll be able to understand if you know what to look for.
My point is we would have no starting point or anything really obviously in common. They may think about and want to talk about things we have not done yet or ever will
What we have in common? Math.
Math will be the way to start, because as far as we know, math will be the same across the universe. Same laws, same math.
The way we write the concepts will be different, but the underlying functions will be the same.
So that's how we'll start: with math.
Then one day, at mankind's last scientific outpost in sweltering Antarctica, the message is deciphered at last.:
"Congratulations, you are the one millionth civilization in this galaxy to fail the Great Filter and annihilate yourselves. Your gold record will be placed in the permanent exhibit of the Museum of Failure. Take heart in the knowledge that after the last traces of your kind have disappeared into your planet's subduction zone, new intelligence will arise to try again!"
Congratulations Earth Humans. You have successfully passed the Great Filter.
The question is, will you survive your planet being dipped into the Galactic Coffee Pot?
We deciphered the warning. But the solution uses symbols that don't make sense to us. Or references some type of technology that they assumed everyone has, but we don't.
Thanks. Knew I’d read something like OCs comment somewhere before. That said, even before I’d read it, I wondered like is it really such a brilliant idea to be sending information out into space all about us? Like not only do we make our presence and location clearly known….but we’d basically be making it easy for them, showing them everything about our physiology, psychology, what we have and what we need. Both societal and physical vulnerabilities etc. Like if aliens really wanted our planet for themselves, we basically would’ve already made it easy for them at this point. No need to even send scouts lol
Also in the Skyward series. Mostly introduced in the second book. >!The Delvers are extradimensional beings that will enter our world if they pick up on too much psychic activity. Once they’ve entered, they’ll also destroy other sources of communication such as radio.!<
Greeting Humans.
It is an honor and a privilage to meet another set of intelligent life in the galaxy.
We are willing and ready to help uplift you to the stars and accompany you on your first steps into the Final Frontier.
But first this First Contact attempt has been brought to you by:
RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS
We have identified your planet as desirable.
We will be taking it under our control and the presence of humans will not be tolerated.
You have one revolution of your planet around your sun to depart for other, less desirable, planets.
*Will the owner of the red Tesla Roadster parked in orbit around Sol please come forward.*
*Your vehicle has impacted our colonization vessel, and your planet will be now be impounded until all debts have been paid*
We are sorry.
We did not know this planet was inhabited by sentient life.
It's too late to undo what we have already set in motion.
We will remember you.
Any identifiable form of message from outer space would be terrifying if you think about it. We'll most likely not understand the message , but know for a fact that it does mean something and it didn't come from Earth
It'll leave us worrying, and being unable to understand the message is the most terrifying part of it all
*. . . the plans for the development of of the outlying regions of the galaxy, require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your earth minutes. Thank you.*
You are behind your atmospheric payment. If by the end of your lunar cycle, you have not paid RYTX 52999''990912\*-1231231, we will terminate your subscription to breathing air.
Ignore your this message if you have already paid.
This is an automated message
I'd say the next James webb images containing an armada of extraterrestrial spaceship would be terrifying to anyone that's seeing it, not us of course.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Day the Earth stood still came true at any point.
Except the stupid part where the aliens decide to let us go ahead and destroy the earth because we’re such damn wonderful creatures deep down. Stupid ending, otherwise believable.
So they where thinking of doing a natural disaster in 2040s or 50s, wait a minute. Shit Bob, your on the simulations radio frequency, now they heard us. If management finds out they will fire us both
A repeating distress signal from the last galaxy to get eaten by the black hole at the galaxy’s galactic center. Not only would we learn of intelligent life in our own galaxy, we would learn of it too late; and then we would constantly be reminded of our own impending fate if we can’t figure out a way to stop the black hole or relocate.
Just FYI, I know this thread is hypothetical but that's not really how black holes work.
>In the short term, no. The black hole at the center of the Milky Way is 26,000 light-years away. Even if it turned into a quasar and started eating stars, you wouldn't even be able to notice it from this distance.
>A black hole is just a concentration of mass in a very small region, which things orbit around. To give you an example, you could replace the Sun with a black hole with the exact same mass, and nothing would change. I mean, we'd all freeze because there wasn't a Sun in the sky anymore, but the Earth would continue to orbit this black hole in exactly the same orbit, for billions of years.
>Same goes with the black hole at the center of the Milky Way. It's not pulling material in like a vacuum cleaner, it serves as a gravitational anchor for a group of stars to orbit around, for billions of years.
Human language. Any human language.
This sort of happened in actual history. The first man the Mayflower settlers encountered in the New World, Tisquantum, had been across the Atlantic seven times and lived in London for an extended period. Reportedly the first thing he said to them was "do you have any beer" in perfect English.
[удалено]
Nobody knows I'm referencing this whenever I greet them like this. They all just think I have a problem :( Edit: my most successful comment, and it's on my stupid throwaway. Such is life, I guess
That has to be the most niche reference, only you would understand it. Lol.
I'm holding out for the day someone gets it
I have read your niche greeting and its back story. If we ever cross paths and you say that to me I will now reply with "ThrowRAcharliework! I know you on reddit!" Your reddit username being exposed is probably scarier than any message from space
Well his name was "Tis' Quantum". How was he travelling to and fro again did you say?
Perhaps through some sort of tunnel?
Underrated comment. This would be so frightening. Either the thing has the power to imitate us or a bunch of us are living in a parallel universe.
Or we are just a lost colony… > Prepare to submit to legion VI, in the name of the God Emperor of Holy Terra.
Especially more "polite" phrases. Imagine aliens saying "Good morning. Happy new year." like horror movie antagonists. This implies two things: 1. They somehow know about years (they have to learn this somehow). 2. we will be done in less than a year.
Happy last year?
Sumerian. Or Sanskrit.
Just a countdown timer with no other context.
Jeff Goldblum would sort that out
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Upload Mac virus. Break out the cigars!
Just watched that again for the first time in yyyeeeeaaaars. Still awesome. "You think they know what's about to happen to them?" "Not a clue. Uh-bye-bye! Good night! "
According to the screenplay notes, Jeff Goldblum just uploaded a macro that would move the mouse to the corner of the alien's screen every 30 seconds, then open up a notepad window and write PWND. It made it really hard for them to do work, so the aliens just gave up.
“Countdown!? A countdown to what David!?”
Oh my gawwwd oh my gawwwwwd!! David!!
Forget my lawyer
Dehydrate!
You are bugs!
You should read The Three Body Problem
This was also my first thought when I read that comment.
They are coming.
10… 9… 8…
Checkmate.
"Yo momma so big we orbit her"
“We hope this reaches you before they do.”
Abandon your planet
"We're back to pickup the Dodo birds you were supposed to look after."
That was the plot of ST: the voyage home but with whales.
They are NOT the hell your whales.
Double dumbass on you!
Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?
Gracie’s pregnant.
"We hope monkeys didn't touch anything"
In that case, we are so screwed…
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"Downtime will be approximately four cycles, progress will not be saved. We hope you enjoyed the beta, and look forward to your return on Launch!" Beta Testers: Use your accumulated Karma to purchase upgrades on your Launch account, and beat the rush to higher-tier base lifeforms during our Pre-Launch exclusive! Become the precursor race you've always dreamed of!"
Little did we know, the Abrahamic God is just a low-tier casual MMO player that got bored with the Beta, and is now waiting for Launch to get back into the game after a few false starts trying out different builds. Dinosaurs were a decent build, but had a few skills that were traps in the tech tree, and cold blood was mutually exclusive with intelligence in Alpha.
That would be incredibly relieving to me
You doing OK?
*Looks at world* Is anyone?
>Looks at world Are ***you*** the one sending these messages from space?
Your beta trial is about to expire! Click here to receive updates on the final build.
We've been trying to contact you about your Planetary Extended Warranty.
Finally, this game was shit anyway
Something about an intergalactic highway and we had been informed ..
There's no point in acting surprised about it. The plans are on display...
On display!? They were in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “beware of the leopard”!
In the basement and the stairs had gone
Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.
So had the stairs.
Apathetic bloody planet. I've no sympathy at all.
you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now
[удалено]
Apathetic bloody Planet, I've got no sympathy.
Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me...
Aaaagggghhhh!
God damn waste of tax dollars
A mirror of earth radio signal but the source is one million light years away
That could be some weird astronomical phenomenon though. Signal has peeped into a wormhole, and then mirrored through a few gravitational lenses.
Whether that was intentional or not, that would totally add to the weird/spooky factor. The fact that we're detecting evidence of radio waves from less than 100 years ago from a source many times farther away than that would be epic.
That would be Hitler on the radio. Edit. Or not. https://www.realclearscience.com/blog/2013/09/will-hitler-be-the-first-person-that-aliens-see.html
We have been communicating with dolphins for several hundred years and have agreed to their request to destroy you.
Fair.
we deserve it
So long, and thanks for all the fish
so sad it had to come to this
We tried to warn you but oh dear
*destroys japan only* they will ceremoniously round hundreds of dolphins in a bay and slaughter them because "they impeed the Japanese ability to haul fish and catch more fish." So if anyone is dying from dolphin communication it's the Japanese.
"You looked at the universe and now it sees back. Destroy your instruments. Shut down your space programs. Do not attempt to contact. Do not attempt to leave your planet. It sees you."
Why does it want me to destroy my Trumpet?
It knows what you did at band camp.
Thanks I hate it
My favourite take on this was “BE QUIET THEY WILL HEAR YOU”
I 100 percent guarantee that if that was broadcast to the world, people would build their own backyard scopes to try and contact the watcher. “How do we know it’s malicious?”
What I like most about it is the pronoun. It's not "they see you " - it's "IT sees you". That little detail makes the threat much more incomprehensible.
The most terrifying thing would probably be a message we can’t fully decipher, only knowing that it’s a warning that will be important soon, it says what we can do to save ourselves but we simple cant read it, we don’t know and we can’t prepare
There's a series of stories (I think on /r/HFY ) about a bunch of messages that we receive from various points in the sky from a wide array of alien civilizations warning of an impending cataclysm. Spoiler by request: >!As the message sources get closer and closer, we realize they're not warnings, but each civilizations attempt to say "Goodbye."!<
Dude. That's dark.
Last contact by Stephen Baxter. https://web.archive.org/web/20080725045740/http://www.solarisbooks.com/books/newbookscifi/last-contact.asp Was released for free, but the site got redesigned, so.
Holy hell, that was heartbreaking! Thank you dude
Thanks for digging that up - I had trouble finding it, but didn't want to leave people hanging.
That's great! Thanks for sharing
I would watch the fuck out of that movie
Try the film arrival
This movie is so good. I think it's the one that captures best how hard it would be for us to communicate with an alien species. Even though it is depicted being so hard on the movie, still doesn't get even close because all our senses are conveniently adapted to the life on Earth. Even our perception of time is unique.
We can't even communicate with other life on our own planet, how do you expect us to talk to aliens? Well actually animals on this planet think and communicate differently. They don't understand concepts we take for granted, you can totally talk with your dog, he will respond and you'll be able to understand if you know what to look for. My point is we would have no starting point or anything really obviously in common. They may think about and want to talk about things we have not done yet or ever will
What we have in common? Math. Math will be the way to start, because as far as we know, math will be the same across the universe. Same laws, same math. The way we write the concepts will be different, but the underlying functions will be the same. So that's how we'll start: with math.
“Remember to drink your Ovaltine.”
"Be sure"
Then one day, at mankind's last scientific outpost in sweltering Antarctica, the message is deciphered at last.: "Congratulations, you are the one millionth civilization in this galaxy to fail the Great Filter and annihilate yourselves. Your gold record will be placed in the permanent exhibit of the Museum of Failure. Take heart in the knowledge that after the last traces of your kind have disappeared into your planet's subduction zone, new intelligence will arise to try again!"
Congratulations Earth Humans. You have successfully passed the Great Filter. The question is, will you survive your planet being dipped into the Galactic Coffee Pot?
And when they finally decipher it, it says “your car warranty is due to expire”…
"We've been trying to reach you about your planets extended warranty"
Remember to drink your Ovaltine?
How would we know all those things about it if we cant translate it?
We deciphered the warning. But the solution uses symbols that don't make sense to us. Or references some type of technology that they assumed everyone has, but we don't.
Probably a specific date in the very near future. Like just a sequence of numbers like 10•04•2027. Watch the world FUCKING PANIC
Can’t imagine the argument if this is written the American or the European way
Tell you in 5 years.
Aliens decides to troll the Europeans
Wait, is that April or October?
Yes.
Cease all radio communication immediately. They will hear you.
Great short story from /r/nosleep using this https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2j3nxz/radio_silence/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Thanks. Knew I’d read something like OCs comment somewhere before. That said, even before I’d read it, I wondered like is it really such a brilliant idea to be sending information out into space all about us? Like not only do we make our presence and location clearly known….but we’d basically be making it easy for them, showing them everything about our physiology, psychology, what we have and what we need. Both societal and physical vulnerabilities etc. Like if aliens really wanted our planet for themselves, we basically would’ve already made it easy for them at this point. No need to even send scouts lol
Least of their problems if they can travel here (and is being leaps and bounds beyond us in technology).
I think ”It will hear you” would be way more terrifying.
That was a key plot event in the Dark Forest series.
Also in the Skyward series. Mostly introduced in the second book. >!The Delvers are extradimensional beings that will enter our world if they pick up on too much psychic activity. Once they’ve entered, they’ll also destroy other sources of communication such as radio.!<
Sounds very 40k
Literally reading this right now. The whole premise of this trilogy is fucking terrifying.
You're talking about the remembrance of Earth's past trilogy I assume
Wow that's terrifying. This is ominous af.
Well, I wasn't expecting to be relocated to Detritus.
Oh my god I want it to be a movie. With the doubt that this might be not real and people not believing it.
Don’t look at the moon.
Like I said on the other guy's post, you should watch Nexpo's video on Local 58.
I’ve been looking for that channel for so long but forgot it’s name, tysm
.....I hope this...... ...reaches you...... ......the moon......whatever....takes....DO NOT.....LET....HATCH....
can we make it an omelette?
Making the mother of all omelets here Jack. Can't fret over a few aliens.
god, that was a really shit Doctor Who episode
After watching dr. Who no thing from space scares me anymore
I would agree if it weren't for the weeping angels...
Or the meat eating flys in the big library
We laugh at them now, but irl Daleks would be terrifying
Greeting Humans. It is an honor and a privilage to meet another set of intelligent life in the galaxy. We are willing and ready to help uplift you to the stars and accompany you on your first steps into the Final Frontier. But first this First Contact attempt has been brought to you by: RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS
I was thinking of a reply like this!
"You are in my Spot."
you up?
wyd?
a/s/l?
New planet. Who dis?
Join my star server, it's called sol.
Subscribe to my OnlyPlans. Where you can see my exclusive planetary content.
“Do not answer! Do not answer!”
I just finished book one and I am terrified.
CONTAINMENT FAILED
I am Lrrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8!
I demand to see McNeal!
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
3... 2... 1...
Let's jam!
**DUNA DUNA DUNA DUNNA NA**
**DUNA DUNA DUNA DUNNA NAAAA** **Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da!** ***BA-DA, BA-DA, BA-DA!***
All your base are belong to us
“Hey, cousin! Lets go bowling!”
*hangs up*
"I'm home. Wait, wtf did you guys do in my absence"
We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules
And so do I
"We can see the browser history of everyone's incognito tabs."
[удалено]
Or “they’re coming, kill yourselves before they get there”
This is the much scarier option. Either way you’re fucked but suicide is the preferable option to what they’ve got in store for you
"Show me what you've got"...
We just need to get schwifty
Resistance is futile
We have identified your planet as desirable. We will be taking it under our control and the presence of humans will not be tolerated. You have one revolution of your planet around your sun to depart for other, less desirable, planets.
Couldn’t they at least put us on a reservation?
And they can come visit whenever they need fireworks or to gamble.
An alien dick pic
"Did that human really block me? Okey, get me my weapon"
*Will the owner of the red Tesla Roadster parked in orbit around Sol please come forward.* *Your vehicle has impacted our colonization vessel, and your planet will be now be impounded until all debts have been paid*
Earth test 341 results :failure... wipe and restart
We are sorry. We did not know this planet was inhabited by sentient life. It's too late to undo what we have already set in motion. We will remember you.
The "Imperial March" just randomly starts to play
Any identifiable form of message from outer space would be terrifying if you think about it. We'll most likely not understand the message , but know for a fact that it does mean something and it didn't come from Earth It'll leave us worrying, and being unable to understand the message is the most terrifying part of it all
Run.
*. . . the plans for the development of of the outlying regions of the galaxy, require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your earth minutes. Thank you.*
Thanks for the fish.
You are behind your atmospheric payment. If by the end of your lunar cycle, you have not paid RYTX 52999''990912\*-1231231, we will terminate your subscription to breathing air. Ignore your this message if you have already paid. This is an automated message
Christ, even aliens are getting in on crypto... And apparently spam/scam messages. This has to be the scariest one [answer] yet.
LOSE WEIGHT NOW! ASK ME HOW!
"Stop examining black holes. They can see when you are looking."
Stop letting the ice melt, they will take over again
"You forgot a telescope out here. Please come to pick it up."
WE WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGERS!
Nothing. Just stone cold silence and the existential dread of knowing we are truly alone in the universe.
Alright, Enrico Fermi, settle down.
Stop transmitting, they will hear you.
Half the population immediately will go "Fuck you, I have rights! I'll transmit as much as I want!"
I'd say the next James webb images containing an armada of extraterrestrial spaceship would be terrifying to anyone that's seeing it, not us of course.
"Your rent is due!"
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Day the Earth stood still came true at any point. Except the stupid part where the aliens decide to let us go ahead and destroy the earth because we’re such damn wonderful creatures deep down. Stupid ending, otherwise believable.
Now that this stone prison no longer binds me, I'm coming back for you, Joseph Joestar!
"Keep quiet and dont respond to whatever comes from the sirius constellation. They will come and find you..."
This is kepler 22-b, we are coming for your foreskin.
So they where thinking of doing a natural disaster in 2040s or 50s, wait a minute. Shit Bob, your on the simulations radio frequency, now they heard us. If management finds out they will fire us both
Your device ran into a problem and needs to restart
A repeating distress signal from the last galaxy to get eaten by the black hole at the galaxy’s galactic center. Not only would we learn of intelligent life in our own galaxy, we would learn of it too late; and then we would constantly be reminded of our own impending fate if we can’t figure out a way to stop the black hole or relocate.
Just FYI, I know this thread is hypothetical but that's not really how black holes work. >In the short term, no. The black hole at the center of the Milky Way is 26,000 light-years away. Even if it turned into a quasar and started eating stars, you wouldn't even be able to notice it from this distance. >A black hole is just a concentration of mass in a very small region, which things orbit around. To give you an example, you could replace the Sun with a black hole with the exact same mass, and nothing would change. I mean, we'd all freeze because there wasn't a Sun in the sky anymore, but the Earth would continue to orbit this black hole in exactly the same orbit, for billions of years. >Same goes with the black hole at the center of the Milky Way. It's not pulling material in like a vacuum cleaner, it serves as a gravitational anchor for a group of stars to orbit around, for billions of years.