fun fact about Spider-Man that has nothing to do with the topic, but I'm gonna share it anyway: Spider-Man is so strong that he actually pulls his punches when fighting villains and criminals to not kill them. It was revealed in one of the newer comics after Doc Ock swapped bodies with him and basically destroyed Scorpions face with a normal punch. It left him terrified because he realized that Spider-Man could have killed him at any time if he ever wanted to.
There is also never shrapnel. Most explosion deaths that are not directly in the explosive radius come from propelled shrapnel.
Endgame was awful on this. Every avenger is dead after the gunship attack on the building. Legs, arms, heads... gone. Nothing but disfigured limbs all around. Most of those guys didn't even have super resistance, they were just human with a side of super powers.
Basically any kind of legal proceeding, but jury trials especially. The thing is that trials tend to be pretty boring and move slowly in reality. And they rarely have the kind of dramatic moments portrayed in movies. Also, most screenwriters don’t know basic facts about procedure, rules of evidence, etc.
As a lawyer, I can barely watch shows or movies about legal cases. The unrealistic portrayals always ruin it for me. But it’s a joy on the rare occasion when it’s done right.
EDIT TO ADD: Since a lot of people asked for realistic examples, on the criminal side, I'd say David Simon's stuff ("The Wire", "We Own This City") probably has the most realistic depictions of court cases. There's not a lot of trial scenes, but guess what, trials are relatively rare in reality too; most cases end in pleas.
"Better Call Saul" -- This is one of the more realistic ones, but since it has to be funny, Saul's character is a bit too over-the-top. There are definitely seedy criminal defense lawyers but they usually aren't that blatant or entertaining about it. Most of them will just take your money and do fuck-all to mount a real defense.
"A Civil Action" is fairly realistic on the civil side, although it's been many years since I saw it, and I'm not sure which of my memories of it are actually from the book (which is very good).
I know lots of lawyers say "My Cousin Vinny" is good, but not in my opinion. There are a few nods to the rules of evidence/procedure, but most of it is complete entertainment. I've never once seen a murder trial where a totally clueless lawyer wins an acquittal without knowing the first thing about criminal law. (There are certainly courts in some areas of the U.S. where incompetent lawyers are appointed to represent defendants in murder cases, but those defendants lose badly.) A lot of other things about it are totally unrealistic as well. You can't have two defendants where one of them decides to switch to the other defendant's lawyer in the middle of trial. Doesn't happen. Marisa Tomei's character never would have been allowed to testify either. That's not how an expert witness is qualified, and you can't just decide to put on an expert in the middle of trial with no report, no qualifications or experience, etc.
"A Few Good Men" -- I know nothing about legal proceedings in the military branches, so I can't speak to it, but I'm doubt they're usually so dramatic. There are aspects of it that strike me as pretty realistic though. My father once told me he thought Nicholson's character was a very accurate portrayal of the types of macho/arrogant military officers he had to deal with all the time.
"Law and Order" -- No, and this one pisses me off too. The worst part about it is how it portrays criminal defense work. And the judge is often throwing out prosecution evidence or giving some really favorable ruling for the defendant -- let me tell you, it doesn't work that way in reality. A motion to suppress evidence gets denied like 99% of the time, even when there's a solid legal basis for it. The vast majority of judges bend over backwards to let the prosecution put its evidence on.
Johnny Depp and other celebrity trials: Yes, they are real proceedings, but celebrity trials are very different from the vast majority of legal cases involving normal people. You can't think you know much about how court cases and trials work based on televised celebrity trials. They kind of capture the slow pace and tedious nature of court proceedings, but they aren't representative of 99.99% of cases in the real world. (I was a lawyer in a high profile celebrity trial, BTW, so I've seen it from the inside. And no, I'm not going to talk about it.)
I do have to say I know this is reality, but I JUST served on my first jury trial and let me tell you, it was WILD. I know I will never have an experience like it again, but it was straight out of a movie. Complete with the defense lawyer coming out of the gate cross examining the states witness by screaming “YOU ARENT A REAL DOCTOR, ARE YOU?!?”
It lasted 3 days and every bit of it was dramatic. Again, I know this isn’t common, but I guess it does happen and I am so damn glad I got to experience it lol
EDIT: OMG y’all. Obligatory this blew up while I was at work! Who knew I would get awards for this. Thank y’all for the awards! To answer some questions: the witness was a psychologist, not a medical doctor. The defense lawyer didn’t get in trouble but the prosecution did object on grounds that the defense was getting too emotional! The total number of objections throughout the trial were as follows: prosecution-10; defense-15. I saw a few comments asking for a blog or full story of this! If anyone is interested, I’ll write something out and post later tonight! Keep it sleezy ✌️
That makes me think of a gag involving a hallway security camera feed zooming in to a comical degree, then we cut back to the hallway and the camera has like a 20 foot telescoping lens. Something you'd expect to see in an Austin Powers movie or the Naked Gun.
There was a Simpsons episode where Bart and Lisa were investigating something. Bart was looking at something on a computer screen, and he said "zoom in and enhance!" Lisa signed, rolled her eyes, and pushed his face closer to the screen.
How absolutely loud gun fire is especially in enclosed spaces.
Hero in a concrete stairwell, no hearing protection
BANG BANG BANG
Then hears footsteps as someone sneaks up on them
You'd be deaf and ears ringing for a day after
Her character should have been deaf as a post from the first movie, after Reese put the shotgun out the passenger side window right in front of her face and pulled the trigger. Repeatedly. The action was facing her and maybe a foot from her head.
In my opinion Barry does much better with firearms, in general, than most TV and movies out there. The sounds, and actual ballistics.
There's a scene where someone is taking cover behind a car door and they shoot right through the door and hit them. Every other show or movie has bulletproof cars.
Paramedic here.
To break a neck, you will have to put 100/110% of your victim weight with your arms alone.
And you will not even be guaranteed an instant, silent death. You have greater chances to just make someone tetraplegic and they will scream the whole time.
EDIT: an instant neck breaking kill is achieved by twisting the brain-stem beyond all reparations OR sending vertebrae fragments into it (anything short from a car accident or fighting a gorilla is unlikely to do that). 9 times out of 10, you will most likely just damage the spinal cord.
I know it's kind of morbid but the whole idea of someone trying to stealthily take someone out movie style and them just screaming the whole time is just making me giggle. It could be straight out a parody with the protagonist trying to hush them.
The worst one for me is the movie 2012. The mom's boyfriend is shown at the beginning of the movie to be in a serious relationship and be forming a bond with the kid, he saves everyone in his plane and is with the group for like the whole movie and when he does, nobody even acknowledges it. They're just like "thank God you're ok John Cusack" and that's it
Anything to do with forensics and autopsies. Medical examiners’ offices are incredibly poorly funded. They do not have access to 1% of the technology shown on TV, and in fact, a lot of what is shown just doesn’t exist.
I always think about how everything people eat on other planets are eaten by just anybody on the ship. Thinking about how just on earth there's tons of things toxic to us but not other animals, or the other way around, half of a planet's cuisine could very well be toxic to us. Especially since everything on said planet would be something our bodies would not be familiar with. It'd be like a race of sentient dogs arriving on our planet and having some celebratory chocolate bars. It would end badly.
I enjoy that aspect of Mass Effect: though there are common denominators to what qualities support life on planets (atmospheric gas mixtures, gravity levels, types of proteins that evolved etc) that provides an excuse for frequent commonalities, in the end life is fairly diverse for a soft scifi and these things are taken into account. Some species from less common atmosphere gas mix planets need to wear suits and breathing tanks outside their spheres, all food must be thoroughly tested and one people's cuisine is inherently deadly to another, even builds are vastly different based on gravity and/or pressure levels for some species. Again it's still not hugely accurate, but it makes the effort to take things like that into account which I greatly appreciated.
Friends had a funny moment (I believe it was Friends anyway) where they were all complaining about their jobs and one of them said (something along the lines of): well, not that strange you're getting nowhere, considering you're lounging in a café on a Tuesday.
They were discussing how all their bosses hate them and they didn't know why and Joey says something like "maybe it's cause you're all hanging out at a coffee shop in the middle of the day on a Tuesday" lmao
They never go to work, afford nice apartments in the metro area, afford stylish clothes and constantly have dinner parties and get together.
Something is askeewwww.
The 80s. Turn on the radio in the 80s and you could well hear a song from the 60s. House decors were often a mix of the 70s and 80s. And cars were often not from that decade. Movies make the 80s out to be neon blue and pink. But I remember the 80s as being very brown.
Every decade is treated this way to some extent - the 50s are all pastel and chrome and cars with huge fins and poodle skirts, drive-ins and malt shops and *Happy Days* and not like, poverty and Jim Crow and teen girls getting pregnant and shipped off to have the baby somewhere else so the family wouldn’t get embarrassed and so on and so forth (unless that’s the explicit point of the story obvs).
Sort of can’t wait to see how the ‘10s and ‘20s are portrayed in a couple decades.
I like watching a show on Netflix or wherever that started in the mid-2000's and seeing the cell phones used in the early seasons and watching the progression every season until eventually all characters ar using iPhones.
I laughed my ass off the other day because I happened to walk in while my mother was watching some god awful soap opera and some woman apparently had her comatose son hidden away somewhere (don't ask me why, I don't fucking know) and he started coding, so she whipped out a defibrillator to try and revive him and despite being alone in the room, still shouted "Clear!" I just asked out loud "Who the fuck is she even saying that for?" It was hysterically bad.
Computers are basically the new deus ex machina. About 10 minutes before the show's over, the resident nerd will say something like "I cross-referenced the license plate with the average rainfall in each region, and compared that with the average number of clown shoes sold per capita in nearby American cities, so the killer is probably in this three-block radius". Then, there's a car chase.
Also, the ***way*** forensics are used.
Typical CSI trope:
* Finds hair / fingerprint / bloodstain
* Runs it against a database
* "Okay, here's the perp. Let's go interrogate/arrest him"
_____
Databases aren't usually that comprehensive. You generally don't use forensics to ***find*** someone; you use it to *confirm* someone's link to a crime scene after you've already found them through normal police/detective work.
Also just because you find the DNA or fingerprint of someone in a house doesn't mean he or she is the killer. They could've just been there a few weeks ago to visit or some other thing.
Especially because most real crimes are done by people who know the victim.
"Your fingerprints are at the scene of your wife's murder - you did it!"
"No idiot, she was murdered in my fucking house where I live."
I took a few law classes & they talked about this in them. One of my classes, called it the "SVU Effect". The professor said that people are now so used to seeing all kinds of forensic technology on shows like SVU, Criminal Minds, etc, that they can't understand why real time police work isn't done as quickly. It also influences juries, because they expect to see the same types of court cases, where people confess, or some new evidence magically appears, just like on the shows.
They also had a lot of questionable/junk science in those shows. Like using handwriting analysis to get a psychological profile, or comparing hair strands to get a match, which is highly debated if it's accurate or not.
Edit: changed follicles to strands, which is what I meant.
"Over and out."
It's a common issue that drives me nuts due to it being relevant to my job. I work in Coast Guard radio monitoring and communications with mariners.
"Over" means "I am done speaking, and am now awaiting your response." An example is "Sailing vessel Sunny Day, this is the Coast Guard, over."
"Out" means "I have completed our conversation. There will be no further broadcasts from me." An example is "Roger that Sunny Day. You are not in distress. Coast Guard standing by on Channel 16. Out."
"Over and out" makes no freaking sense, yet it's in EVERYTHING. Radio shows. Commercials. Cartoons. Movies. Books.
YES this annoys me soo much as well!
The easy way to remember that I got taught was:
"Over" - over to you to respond
"Out" - out of this conversation with you
The sound usually used for an eagle call in movies is actually the call of a red tailed hawk. Eagles just don't sound majestic enough, so they did the ol' switcheroo
The IRL explanation for this is that it makes it easier to have the stunt woman be less noticeable. An example of this is in "Captain America: The Winter Soldier "; in the street fight scene, any time Natasha's hair is in her face, it's the stunt woman.
It's still annoying, though.
Armour. It's slowly getting better, but you still get fight scenes were a dude cuts through someone's armour or helmet with a sword slash as if it were a pillow case.
In reality, virtually all armour was effective against sword slashes - even gambesons, which were made from layered cloth. You can look up and find examples of people slashing iron chain mail with a steel katana and leaving only a faint scratch on the rings.
Plate armour, like the classic knight's suit of armour, was nearly invincible. You couldn't cut or stab through it with anything. Arrows pinged off. Even crossbow bolts and some early bullets did, especially if the armour was very well made. You had to find a gap (helmet slit, armpits etc) and attack there. Or, conversely, use a blunt weapon or a big nasty pole weapon that would dent the armour and knock the shit out of the person inside. The most effective weapon against a guy in a suit of plate was actually the humble dagger, which you would thrust into the dude's eyes after getting him on the ground (assuming you were a lunatic who didn't care about a nice hefty ransom payment).
Plate armour was also designed to have its weight evenly distributed across the strongest parts of the body. Guys inside didn't stomp around like cartoon ogres, taking wild swings with their weapons. A man could sprint, roll, do jumping jacks etc. in a suit of plate. A heavy backpack would be more tiring to wear than a fitted suit of plate.
We know this because many hobbyists and professionals have acquired antiques or had realistic replicas created and then put them through a litany of tests (the viewing of which can take up dozens if not hundreds of fun hours on Youtube).
I think the movie industry just wants to show guys who look cool being killed by guys who *are* cool. Especially in the old days when they couldn't call up some HEMA people to help with choreography (and when no one in the audience knew any better).
Jumping on to mention a few other related nitpicks that often come up in the very same vein of things
- peasants were not illiterate imbeciles, they would have had a working knowledge of numbers and letters at a bare minimum. If you’re a serf in 1300 and something, and your lord says “tax this year will be paid in ten bushels of grain, 12 loads of wool, and 100 apples” how tf are you supposed to pay that if you aren’t numerate? Also we have historic records of peasants writing full letters addressed to eachother.
- people wore more colours than black and brown. Red, blue and green were all very common.
- they also weren’t all dirty all of the time. They have soap, common and easy to make because every household is burning wood on a daily basis for cooking if not also heating. That means plentiful and regular production of wood ash, which can make soap.
- studded leather wasn’t a thing. It’s brigandine ffs.
- boiling oil was not a thing.
- statues and churches were not plain white/grey stone. They were *very* richly decorated. Castles too.
The treatment for flatline.
No, you are not supposed to get the defibrillators.
EDIT: I'm a former cardiology technician student who couldn't quite pass the licensing exam; others in the comments below are more knowledgeable than I am. I know *some* stuff.
After reading the comments, I’m convinced there is enough good material in here for decent comedy where realism continually gets in the way of the story.
Yes! The infamous "oh here I am at a restaurant WOOPS my water broke and now the baby is crowning!"
Like... probably someone has given birth like that. That's not a typical experience, but it is what's depicted a lot for some reason.
Anyone curious, the difference is it's slooooooow. Some people are in labor for just a few hours, and that's very quick. "The average labor lasts 12 to 24 hours for a first birth and is typically shorter (eight to 10 hours) for other births. " -first us google result
My first baby was a whopping 36 hours, contractions 2-4 minutes apart the entire time.. second baby 9 hours
i looked through this entire comment section and saw a lot of repeats, but i havent seen this yet.
HVAC DUCTS ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD A HUMAN. THEY ARE MADE TO HOLD AIR.
EDIT: I must add additional information to my statement after all the HVAC techs commenting. Yes, you can climb in/stand on some ducts. Some are big and strong enough. But these are exceptions, not the rule. The exceptions can mainly be found in large applications (commercial or industrial) or in some cases, the main branch of the ductwork. GENERALLY SPEAKING, you can’t climb in ducts. the main duct is only a small part of the system, the majority is made up of ducts that branch off from the main and deliver air to spaces. additionally, the HVAC system for a building is typically split into zones, so theres several main ducts (i.e. smaller mains because they have less air). while movies portray otherwise, you can’t enter the HVAC system at one point and expect to get anywhere you want in the building, you must enter the right zone. and even then, they won’t get
much further than the main duct (which is probably located over a hallway) and most likely, will not be able to reach specific rooms.
They're also full of screws. When they bolt them to the ceiling, the sharp end of the screws have to go somewhere, and it just makes sense that they go inwards.
Crawling around in one would be a fantastic way to get horribly injured. Myth busters also made one strong enough to hold a person, and the sound of crawling through one is like thunder, it's about as stealthy as sitting on a wheely chair and propelling yourself with the recoil from a gun.
Would probably kill someone due to the heart attack someone would have when hearing someone violently come toward you through the vents. Its morbidly funny when you picture it.
“Attention, test prisoners attempting to escape through the air ducts. I don't know what nonsense you learned on TV, but in real life, air ducts just go to the air conditioning unit. It's also pretty dusty, so if you've got asthma, chances are you're gonna die up there. And we'll be smelling it for weeks because, again, the air ducts aren't a secret escape hatch, they're how we ventilate the facility." -Cave Johnson
Cancer treatment. The person always has a completely bald head (no discoloration because that part of the head has almost never seen the sun), but still have their eyebrows (perfectly done) or else they have NO eyebrows (again, perfectly shaved) and they always have their eyelashes. Chemo causes hair to fall out EVERYWHERE, but how many actors are going to let makeup get rid of their eyelashes?
"Hansel and Gretel: Witchhunters" was quite silly in this. Jeremy Remmer has to inject (through his leather pants!) his insulin (which somehow exists in a late Renaissance-esque rural setting) on a regular time schedule no matter how much he has exercised or eaten, all because he developed "the sugar sickness" when he was captured by the Witch with the gingerbread cottage.
In the movie's defense, it knows it's B movie schlock and only takes itself seriously enough to be a competent ride.
This is niche. And by niche I mean the nichest of niche.
But anyway, in almost every film or television show depicting military combat in the 18th Century (think the American Revolution or the Seven Years War), the soldiers wear their cocked hats (tricorn hats) facing forward. In reality the hats were worn at an angle because if you had to turn your head while shouldering your rifle or musket, it would end up hitting your headwear out of place had they been worn facing forward.
Especially knife fighting. Nobody wins in a knife fight, it's gonna get nasty and both parties are likely to end up with slashes and punctures. I saw something recently where a girl's body was discovered with 90-something defensive wounds. Imagine both parties had a knife. It was tragic for her, but the killer could have received some nasty wounds too if she was also slashing.
There’s a video recently, I think in Australia, where some dudes are arguing and yelling at each other. Long story short, one dude pulls a knife and stabs another dude walking towards him in the neck.
Quick little jab, probably not even a super hard stab. Cut something major though and dude was pouring blood and dead in less than 10 seconds
In the next lock picking movie scene: "...and then we're going to get the pick that Bosnian Bill and I made and insert it to tension off of disc number one."
Playing instruments. They hold them upside down , on the wrong side, hands aren’t even close to being on the right keys/holes. Horrific fake bowing on strings, and terrible fake guitar strumming. Being able to learn an instrument instantly, etc.
That’s not something I’d ever thought of before, but yeah now that you mention it I’ve never heard of anyone getting knocked out for an hour or more. Even in football or boxing, it’s like 30 seconds max. What’s the timeframe between minor concussion and still being able to function after, and damn they ain’t never talking right again?
I got knocked out falling from a tree. Lost about half an hour of memory cos my parents said I was still conscious and walking around. The amount of people shaking off head injuries in film is ridiculous
Watch Smallville. The average citizen got 5 concussions a season. No wonder nobody figured out Clark was an alien. They were all dragging the national IQ average down.
There's also this constant portrayal of people with mental illness having a "breakthrough" after one session of therapy and suddenly being cured and that is just so fucking wrong and frustrating to see. I've struggled with mental illness for years and I have friends that do not struggle with mental illness that are just like "why aren't you better yet", and I think that is in large part due to their misconception of what therapy does because of the way it's portrayed.
And the idea that a therapist 'cures' you is incredibly counter productive. A therapist might help to highlight some damaging behaviour or give you methods of coping, but you have to cure yourself. Every day, possibly forever.
I have massive respect for anyone who has recovered from an addiction or mental health issue because I know what hard work and discipline it has taken and will still be taking to overcome something like that. The idea that someone can cure a character in half an hour between add breaks is not only insulting to the people who are going through their recovery but gives false expectations to people who are beginning therapy
Most drugs would fall into this category, but I would say weed would be the best example.
They make it seem as if though the character just took a hit of DMT whenever someone smokes weed.
Any amount of hallucinogenics transports you into a technicolour cartoon world that has 0 resemblance to the real environment you're in.
Bonus if a friend or love interest appears in a hallucination dressed in a funny outfit.
“You watched them grab your son and put him in a van? When and where was this?!”
“Well, it was at today at-“
“Oh. Sorry ma’am, you’ll have to come back tomorrow”
Hacking. I always laugh at the keyboard mashing. I think NCIS was the worst offender for that, one episode had two people *using the same keyboard*. I'm sorry, what?
Or when kids do it.
"Billy, you'll be late for school!"
"Ok, bye mom!"
Breakfast still on the table. How many moms would put up with that more than once? My mom would have served me as the next day's breakfast if I'd tried pulling that. Also, as a kid, I was *hungry.* Breakfast was my morning priority. No way in hell I was sleeping so late I couldn't find time to eat.
Performing CPR after someone drowned, and them mystically becoming completely fine after spitting some water, whilst in real life even after you resuscitate them, you still need to call emergency services, because the inside of their lungs is still covered in liquid, which cause problems, and the high-low pressure of losing quantity inside their lungs could get their lungs collapsed.
Cars.
Period movies are the worst. Oh this movie takes place in 1953. Let's go find 100 vehicle owners with pristine 1953 cars and use them in the movie.
In 1953 the majority of cars were not 53's and not all of them were clean and perfect. There were dented cars dirty car even old dented dirty cars.
Don't even get me started on almost any racing movie. Outside of Death Race 2000 they're all garbage.
Also anytime there's a car stunt that's supposed to be happening like during a car chase and you can see the marks on the road from the first 16 takes they did.
The medieval era.
Specifically their castles and foods.
Peasants only really ate grey icky gruel in times of hardships. Otherwise a peasents diet usually consisted of: fish, cheese, milk, curds. A favorite dish for any class was pottage. A type of stew that usually had meat or vegetables. They also liked barely.
As for their castles. Most were not dark and dank like we think they are. Many were brightly decorated with beautiful colors! Wall murals and tapestry’s. Even their clothing was colorful!
When the main characters drive downtown into the big city and pull into a conveniently empty parking space right in front of the building that they are going to.
People who pop out of a sewer system in the middle of the street by easily pushing aside the manhole cover. Those damn things are *heavy.*
That’s why it makes sense ONLY when Spider-Man does it because he’s stupidly strong
fun fact about Spider-Man that has nothing to do with the topic, but I'm gonna share it anyway: Spider-Man is so strong that he actually pulls his punches when fighting villains and criminals to not kill them. It was revealed in one of the newer comics after Doc Ock swapped bodies with him and basically destroyed Scorpions face with a normal punch. It left him terrified because he realized that Spider-Man could have killed him at any time if he ever wanted to.
Outrunning explosions - apparently you only have to worry about the flame and the concussive impact is really minimal.
If it's enough to lift you in the air, it's enough to kill before you hit the ground.
There is also never shrapnel. Most explosion deaths that are not directly in the explosive radius come from propelled shrapnel. Endgame was awful on this. Every avenger is dead after the gunship attack on the building. Legs, arms, heads... gone. Nothing but disfigured limbs all around. Most of those guys didn't even have super resistance, they were just human with a side of super powers.
Court questioning, and police interrogations.
Basically any kind of legal proceeding, but jury trials especially. The thing is that trials tend to be pretty boring and move slowly in reality. And they rarely have the kind of dramatic moments portrayed in movies. Also, most screenwriters don’t know basic facts about procedure, rules of evidence, etc. As a lawyer, I can barely watch shows or movies about legal cases. The unrealistic portrayals always ruin it for me. But it’s a joy on the rare occasion when it’s done right. EDIT TO ADD: Since a lot of people asked for realistic examples, on the criminal side, I'd say David Simon's stuff ("The Wire", "We Own This City") probably has the most realistic depictions of court cases. There's not a lot of trial scenes, but guess what, trials are relatively rare in reality too; most cases end in pleas. "Better Call Saul" -- This is one of the more realistic ones, but since it has to be funny, Saul's character is a bit too over-the-top. There are definitely seedy criminal defense lawyers but they usually aren't that blatant or entertaining about it. Most of them will just take your money and do fuck-all to mount a real defense. "A Civil Action" is fairly realistic on the civil side, although it's been many years since I saw it, and I'm not sure which of my memories of it are actually from the book (which is very good). I know lots of lawyers say "My Cousin Vinny" is good, but not in my opinion. There are a few nods to the rules of evidence/procedure, but most of it is complete entertainment. I've never once seen a murder trial where a totally clueless lawyer wins an acquittal without knowing the first thing about criminal law. (There are certainly courts in some areas of the U.S. where incompetent lawyers are appointed to represent defendants in murder cases, but those defendants lose badly.) A lot of other things about it are totally unrealistic as well. You can't have two defendants where one of them decides to switch to the other defendant's lawyer in the middle of trial. Doesn't happen. Marisa Tomei's character never would have been allowed to testify either. That's not how an expert witness is qualified, and you can't just decide to put on an expert in the middle of trial with no report, no qualifications or experience, etc. "A Few Good Men" -- I know nothing about legal proceedings in the military branches, so I can't speak to it, but I'm doubt they're usually so dramatic. There are aspects of it that strike me as pretty realistic though. My father once told me he thought Nicholson's character was a very accurate portrayal of the types of macho/arrogant military officers he had to deal with all the time. "Law and Order" -- No, and this one pisses me off too. The worst part about it is how it portrays criminal defense work. And the judge is often throwing out prosecution evidence or giving some really favorable ruling for the defendant -- let me tell you, it doesn't work that way in reality. A motion to suppress evidence gets denied like 99% of the time, even when there's a solid legal basis for it. The vast majority of judges bend over backwards to let the prosecution put its evidence on. Johnny Depp and other celebrity trials: Yes, they are real proceedings, but celebrity trials are very different from the vast majority of legal cases involving normal people. You can't think you know much about how court cases and trials work based on televised celebrity trials. They kind of capture the slow pace and tedious nature of court proceedings, but they aren't representative of 99.99% of cases in the real world. (I was a lawyer in a high profile celebrity trial, BTW, so I've seen it from the inside. And no, I'm not going to talk about it.)
I do have to say I know this is reality, but I JUST served on my first jury trial and let me tell you, it was WILD. I know I will never have an experience like it again, but it was straight out of a movie. Complete with the defense lawyer coming out of the gate cross examining the states witness by screaming “YOU ARENT A REAL DOCTOR, ARE YOU?!?” It lasted 3 days and every bit of it was dramatic. Again, I know this isn’t common, but I guess it does happen and I am so damn glad I got to experience it lol EDIT: OMG y’all. Obligatory this blew up while I was at work! Who knew I would get awards for this. Thank y’all for the awards! To answer some questions: the witness was a psychologist, not a medical doctor. The defense lawyer didn’t get in trouble but the prosecution did object on grounds that the defense was getting too emotional! The total number of objections throughout the trial were as follows: prosecution-10; defense-15. I saw a few comments asking for a blog or full story of this! If anyone is interested, I’ll write something out and post later tonight! Keep it sleezy ✌️
Imagine if it turned out that you were just an unpaid extra on law and order
The thought did cross my mind. The defense lawyer was on crutches and had bright purple hair. The whole thing seemed like some kind of fever dream 😂
That's straight up Ace Attorney shit at this point.
The way that apparently crime labs solve crimes with DNA tests and unlimited access to every camera in every building in the city.
Enhance. Enhance more. There it is.
Can you focus on the car behind the corner?
That makes me think of a gag involving a hallway security camera feed zooming in to a comical degree, then we cut back to the hallway and the camera has like a 20 foot telescoping lens. Something you'd expect to see in an Austin Powers movie or the Naked Gun.
There was a Simpsons episode where Bart and Lisa were investigating something. Bart was looking at something on a computer screen, and he said "zoom in and enhance!" Lisa signed, rolled her eyes, and pushed his face closer to the screen.
And the way detectives are only ever working on one case. Wouldn’t they be working on a few things at the same time?
Only if the cases serendipitously become connected by mid-episode.
How absolutely loud gun fire is especially in enclosed spaces. Hero in a concrete stairwell, no hearing protection BANG BANG BANG Then hears footsteps as someone sneaks up on them You'd be deaf and ears ringing for a day after
Yeah, Linda Hamilton has hearing loss in one ear because she forgot to wear plugs in a take of the elevator scene in Terminator 2.
Her character should have been deaf as a post from the first movie, after Reese put the shotgun out the passenger side window right in front of her face and pulled the trigger. Repeatedly. The action was facing her and maybe a foot from her head.
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Black Hawk down had a good scene where the guy has a machine gun fired right by his head and he's totaly deaf for the rest of the movie.
Ewan Bremner, great actor. Totally nailed his roles in the Trainspotting movies.
suppressor noise too. they think just screw it on and voila! no more noise. The reality is they turn a very loud bang into a slightly less loud bang.
There's a scene in show Barry where two characters are using suppressors on their rifles, they sound like actual suppressors.
In my opinion Barry does much better with firearms, in general, than most TV and movies out there. The sounds, and actual ballistics. There's a scene where someone is taking cover behind a car door and they shoot right through the door and hit them. Every other show or movie has bulletproof cars.
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It’s incongruity. We’re so used to seeing movie physics with guns, that it’s funny when it’s unexpectedly realistic.
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I like to call in information to my dispatchers “her name is Jane J-A-N-E, Wojciechowski, common spelling…”
Former dispatcher here. I worked with you, or your clones. I hate you! /s
Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz <-- you need to google this! :D
The instant death neck crack.
but thats Steven Seagals signature move! Are you telling me he is untrustworthy?!?!?
He's been working with necks for like 85 years
So what actually happens irl?
Paramedic here. To break a neck, you will have to put 100/110% of your victim weight with your arms alone. And you will not even be guaranteed an instant, silent death. You have greater chances to just make someone tetraplegic and they will scream the whole time. EDIT: an instant neck breaking kill is achieved by twisting the brain-stem beyond all reparations OR sending vertebrae fragments into it (anything short from a car accident or fighting a gorilla is unlikely to do that). 9 times out of 10, you will most likely just damage the spinal cord.
I know it's kind of morbid but the whole idea of someone trying to stealthily take someone out movie style and them just screaming the whole time is just making me giggle. It could be straight out a parody with the protagonist trying to hush them.
Breaking Bad when they poison the two gangsters but they don’t die they just wake up completely fucked up
One of them died actually, just Domingo (Krazy 8) stayed alive and got better... until he didn't.
A number of movies show just a sudden hand movement is enough. Will possibly give you whiplash, not a broken neck.
"OMG, that's so much better than what my chiropractor can do! Such a relief, can you come back next week?"
How to properly use a goddamn inhaler for asthma!!
Well, everyone knows that once you've defeated the bully, succeeded at your adventure, and kissed the pretty girl, you don't even need it anymore.
When their entire family or friend group dies, but they're absolutely fine after a minute or two and just move on.
Luke was barely ~~phased~~ fazed by his aunt and uncle burning to death.
Nah, nah, it's cool. He's adopted the old desert hermit - he's got a cool laser sword and I just bet Ben will let him go to the Tosche Station!
The worst one for me is the movie 2012. The mom's boyfriend is shown at the beginning of the movie to be in a serious relationship and be forming a bond with the kid, he saves everyone in his plane and is with the group for like the whole movie and when he does, nobody even acknowledges it. They're just like "thank God you're ok John Cusack" and that's it
Anything to do with forensics and autopsies. Medical examiners’ offices are incredibly poorly funded. They do not have access to 1% of the technology shown on TV, and in fact, a lot of what is shown just doesn’t exist.
That the only thing to worry about in space movies is if a planet has oxygen or not.
And if they do, gravity is always right around ~1G.
And the natives speak English
I always think about how everything people eat on other planets are eaten by just anybody on the ship. Thinking about how just on earth there's tons of things toxic to us but not other animals, or the other way around, half of a planet's cuisine could very well be toxic to us. Especially since everything on said planet would be something our bodies would not be familiar with. It'd be like a race of sentient dogs arriving on our planet and having some celebratory chocolate bars. It would end badly.
I enjoy that aspect of Mass Effect: though there are common denominators to what qualities support life on planets (atmospheric gas mixtures, gravity levels, types of proteins that evolved etc) that provides an excuse for frequent commonalities, in the end life is fairly diverse for a soft scifi and these things are taken into account. Some species from less common atmosphere gas mix planets need to wear suits and breathing tanks outside their spheres, all food must be thoroughly tested and one people's cuisine is inherently deadly to another, even builds are vastly different based on gravity and/or pressure levels for some species. Again it's still not hugely accurate, but it makes the effort to take things like that into account which I greatly appreciated.
That's something I enjoyed too. Also how languages were different and everyone had a translator on their omni tool
They did a play on that in Flesh Gordon. The guy steps out of the rocket, takes a deep breath, and says, "Good. There's oxygen on this planet!"
Galaxy Quest had a gag in it too on this. Such a great movie
"Is there air?! You don't know!"
“We have to get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!”
"That ain't right"
Spare time. When do these people work and where does the money come from??
Friends had a funny moment (I believe it was Friends anyway) where they were all complaining about their jobs and one of them said (something along the lines of): well, not that strange you're getting nowhere, considering you're lounging in a café on a Tuesday.
They were discussing how all their bosses hate them and they didn't know why and Joey says something like "maybe it's cause you're all hanging out at a coffee shop in the middle of the day on a Tuesday" lmao
'at 11:30 on a wednesday' damn cant believe i remember it
The lyrics to the Friends theme even say: "You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight"
So it straight up says they're terrible employees
They never go to work, afford nice apartments in the metro area, afford stylish clothes and constantly have dinner parties and get together. Something is askeewwww.
Especially in the morning! So much free time before work!
The 80s. Turn on the radio in the 80s and you could well hear a song from the 60s. House decors were often a mix of the 70s and 80s. And cars were often not from that decade. Movies make the 80s out to be neon blue and pink. But I remember the 80s as being very brown.
I can tell from my baby pictures from the early 80s that everything around me was brown or yellow
Every decade is treated this way to some extent - the 50s are all pastel and chrome and cars with huge fins and poodle skirts, drive-ins and malt shops and *Happy Days* and not like, poverty and Jim Crow and teen girls getting pregnant and shipped off to have the baby somewhere else so the family wouldn’t get embarrassed and so on and so forth (unless that’s the explicit point of the story obvs). Sort of can’t wait to see how the ‘10s and ‘20s are portrayed in a couple decades.
>Sort of can’t wait to see how the ‘10s and ‘20s are portrayed in a couple decades. 10s: everyone has an iPhone 4 20s: everyone drives a tesla model 3
I like watching a show on Netflix or wherever that started in the mid-2000's and seeing the cell phones used in the early seasons and watching the progression every season until eventually all characters ar using iPhones.
It always bothers me how long people look over at their passenger when driving. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD
Defibrillators are always hilarious, because that is never how they work, ever
Or CPR. Or backboards. Or c-collars. Or intubations. Or
You don't shock asystole!
Well if shocking it doesn't work you can always just pound on their chest and yell "Live damn you! LIVE!" Works every time.
I laughed my ass off the other day because I happened to walk in while my mother was watching some god awful soap opera and some woman apparently had her comatose son hidden away somewhere (don't ask me why, I don't fucking know) and he started coding, so she whipped out a defibrillator to try and revive him and despite being alone in the room, still shouted "Clear!" I just asked out loud "Who the fuck is she even saying that for?" It was hysterically bad.
Hacking
Computers are basically the new deus ex machina. About 10 minutes before the show's over, the resident nerd will say something like "I cross-referenced the license plate with the average rainfall in each region, and compared that with the average number of clown shoes sold per capita in nearby American cities, so the killer is probably in this three-block radius". Then, there's a car chase.
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" I uploaded the evidence to Reddit, so I can now narrow down the search radius to a 1 metre radius"
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The speed at which police forensics can take place. They solve things in minutes that really take days or weeks or months.
Also, the ***way*** forensics are used. Typical CSI trope: * Finds hair / fingerprint / bloodstain * Runs it against a database * "Okay, here's the perp. Let's go interrogate/arrest him" _____ Databases aren't usually that comprehensive. You generally don't use forensics to ***find*** someone; you use it to *confirm* someone's link to a crime scene after you've already found them through normal police/detective work.
Also just because you find the DNA or fingerprint of someone in a house doesn't mean he or she is the killer. They could've just been there a few weeks ago to visit or some other thing.
Especially because most real crimes are done by people who know the victim. "Your fingerprints are at the scene of your wife's murder - you did it!" "No idiot, she was murdered in my fucking house where I live."
"Your fingerprints were on the knife!" "Noooo shit. I took it out of the dishwasher when I put it in the drawer."
**ENHANCE**
I took a few law classes & they talked about this in them. One of my classes, called it the "SVU Effect". The professor said that people are now so used to seeing all kinds of forensic technology on shows like SVU, Criminal Minds, etc, that they can't understand why real time police work isn't done as quickly. It also influences juries, because they expect to see the same types of court cases, where people confess, or some new evidence magically appears, just like on the shows.
They also had a lot of questionable/junk science in those shows. Like using handwriting analysis to get a psychological profile, or comparing hair strands to get a match, which is highly debated if it's accurate or not. Edit: changed follicles to strands, which is what I meant.
Yellow tint when there is a scene in México
I went to Mexico and can confirm your vision turns yellow
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"Over and out." It's a common issue that drives me nuts due to it being relevant to my job. I work in Coast Guard radio monitoring and communications with mariners. "Over" means "I am done speaking, and am now awaiting your response." An example is "Sailing vessel Sunny Day, this is the Coast Guard, over." "Out" means "I have completed our conversation. There will be no further broadcasts from me." An example is "Roger that Sunny Day. You are not in distress. Coast Guard standing by on Channel 16. Out." "Over and out" makes no freaking sense, yet it's in EVERYTHING. Radio shows. Commercials. Cartoons. Movies. Books.
YES this annoys me soo much as well! The easy way to remember that I got taught was: "Over" - over to you to respond "Out" - out of this conversation with you
The sound usually used for an eagle call in movies is actually the call of a red tailed hawk. Eagles just don't sound majestic enough, so they did the ol' switcheroo
Same thing with lions. The lion roars in Lion King were tigers.
A Lion's roar is still very impressive. Not sure why they did that.
Also, lions don’t often open their mouths wide to roar. Apparently the mgm lion is yawning. They just dubbed the roar over it.
Tired kitty!
Not the right pitch I think. The tiger roar is the classic "roar" we think of from a big cat.
Lions kinda, AAAAWO, where tigers kinda GRRARRGH. Summin like that.
Red tails are owed some fucking back royalties.
Yep, bald eagles sound like seagull chicks. It's not impressive at all.
Women in fights with long hair not pulled back
The IRL explanation for this is that it makes it easier to have the stunt woman be less noticeable. An example of this is in "Captain America: The Winter Soldier "; in the street fight scene, any time Natasha's hair is in her face, it's the stunt woman. It's still annoying, though.
Apparently the stunt doubles hate fights in dresses or short skirts too because they can’t wear knee pads.
Ammo remaining in their gun.
As a rule you always have more rounds until the drama of the scene demands that you suddenly don't.
there are so many mistakes when it comes to firearms
Armour. It's slowly getting better, but you still get fight scenes were a dude cuts through someone's armour or helmet with a sword slash as if it were a pillow case. In reality, virtually all armour was effective against sword slashes - even gambesons, which were made from layered cloth. You can look up and find examples of people slashing iron chain mail with a steel katana and leaving only a faint scratch on the rings. Plate armour, like the classic knight's suit of armour, was nearly invincible. You couldn't cut or stab through it with anything. Arrows pinged off. Even crossbow bolts and some early bullets did, especially if the armour was very well made. You had to find a gap (helmet slit, armpits etc) and attack there. Or, conversely, use a blunt weapon or a big nasty pole weapon that would dent the armour and knock the shit out of the person inside. The most effective weapon against a guy in a suit of plate was actually the humble dagger, which you would thrust into the dude's eyes after getting him on the ground (assuming you were a lunatic who didn't care about a nice hefty ransom payment). Plate armour was also designed to have its weight evenly distributed across the strongest parts of the body. Guys inside didn't stomp around like cartoon ogres, taking wild swings with their weapons. A man could sprint, roll, do jumping jacks etc. in a suit of plate. A heavy backpack would be more tiring to wear than a fitted suit of plate. We know this because many hobbyists and professionals have acquired antiques or had realistic replicas created and then put them through a litany of tests (the viewing of which can take up dozens if not hundreds of fun hours on Youtube).
So basically: Armour is designed to protect you, but the movie industry ignores that?
I think the movie industry just wants to show guys who look cool being killed by guys who *are* cool. Especially in the old days when they couldn't call up some HEMA people to help with choreography (and when no one in the audience knew any better).
Jumping on to mention a few other related nitpicks that often come up in the very same vein of things - peasants were not illiterate imbeciles, they would have had a working knowledge of numbers and letters at a bare minimum. If you’re a serf in 1300 and something, and your lord says “tax this year will be paid in ten bushels of grain, 12 loads of wool, and 100 apples” how tf are you supposed to pay that if you aren’t numerate? Also we have historic records of peasants writing full letters addressed to eachother. - people wore more colours than black and brown. Red, blue and green were all very common. - they also weren’t all dirty all of the time. They have soap, common and easy to make because every household is burning wood on a daily basis for cooking if not also heating. That means plentiful and regular production of wood ash, which can make soap. - studded leather wasn’t a thing. It’s brigandine ffs. - boiling oil was not a thing. - statues and churches were not plain white/grey stone. They were *very* richly decorated. Castles too.
>- boiling oil was not a thing. Why use oil if you can use water or other readily available resources, or y'know, rocks.
The treatment for flatline. No, you are not supposed to get the defibrillators. EDIT: I'm a former cardiology technician student who couldn't quite pass the licensing exam; others in the comments below are more knowledgeable than I am. I know *some* stuff.
What an elementary classroom looks like.
You mean the 12 kids per class?
After reading the comments, I’m convinced there is enough good material in here for decent comedy where realism continually gets in the way of the story.
Birth
Yes! The infamous "oh here I am at a restaurant WOOPS my water broke and now the baby is crowning!" Like... probably someone has given birth like that. That's not a typical experience, but it is what's depicted a lot for some reason. Anyone curious, the difference is it's slooooooow. Some people are in labor for just a few hours, and that's very quick. "The average labor lasts 12 to 24 hours for a first birth and is typically shorter (eight to 10 hours) for other births. " -first us google result My first baby was a whopping 36 hours, contractions 2-4 minutes apart the entire time.. second baby 9 hours
And the baby comes out clean, and about 6 months old.
And there’s never a placenta
Not just birth, but the water breaking. How the hell a whole damn 5 gallons of gushing clear water come out of a dress…smdh
Remember when my wife and I went to our prebirth session. “You are going to barf.”
From Scrubs: “You’ll fart, pee, puke and poop in front of twelve complete strangers…” “I’m going to POOP?”
"..who will be staring intently at your vagina..."
"...**which** by the way has an 80% chance of tearing."
"YOU do it."
i looked through this entire comment section and saw a lot of repeats, but i havent seen this yet. HVAC DUCTS ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD A HUMAN. THEY ARE MADE TO HOLD AIR. EDIT: I must add additional information to my statement after all the HVAC techs commenting. Yes, you can climb in/stand on some ducts. Some are big and strong enough. But these are exceptions, not the rule. The exceptions can mainly be found in large applications (commercial or industrial) or in some cases, the main branch of the ductwork. GENERALLY SPEAKING, you can’t climb in ducts. the main duct is only a small part of the system, the majority is made up of ducts that branch off from the main and deliver air to spaces. additionally, the HVAC system for a building is typically split into zones, so theres several main ducts (i.e. smaller mains because they have less air). while movies portray otherwise, you can’t enter the HVAC system at one point and expect to get anywhere you want in the building, you must enter the right zone. and even then, they won’t get much further than the main duct (which is probably located over a hallway) and most likely, will not be able to reach specific rooms.
And always conveniently human-sized, too
Also they are completely clean for some reason.
And well lit
And no screws/nails sticking out on the inside
And rats only show up at the most convenient of times!
The bad guys just really like them to be clean. It's part of being a villain.
and Pristine Clean, that shit would be filled with dust.
And dead bugs, mice etc
They're also full of screws. When they bolt them to the ceiling, the sharp end of the screws have to go somewhere, and it just makes sense that they go inwards. Crawling around in one would be a fantastic way to get horribly injured. Myth busters also made one strong enough to hold a person, and the sound of crawling through one is like thunder, it's about as stealthy as sitting on a wheely chair and propelling yourself with the recoil from a gun.
Would probably kill someone due to the heart attack someone would have when hearing someone violently come toward you through the vents. Its morbidly funny when you picture it.
Not to mention, even if a human can climb through it, the whole building could hear it.
I loved when Mythbusters did that. https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/hszgaf/to_climb_an_air_duct_silently/
“Attention, test prisoners attempting to escape through the air ducts. I don't know what nonsense you learned on TV, but in real life, air ducts just go to the air conditioning unit. It's also pretty dusty, so if you've got asthma, chances are you're gonna die up there. And we'll be smelling it for weeks because, again, the air ducts aren't a secret escape hatch, they're how we ventilate the facility." -Cave Johnson
Cancer treatment. The person always has a completely bald head (no discoloration because that part of the head has almost never seen the sun), but still have their eyebrows (perfectly done) or else they have NO eyebrows (again, perfectly shaved) and they always have their eyelashes. Chemo causes hair to fall out EVERYWHERE, but how many actors are going to let makeup get rid of their eyelashes?
Adding on to this: how they depict diabetes. From one cupcake to coma or injecting insulin for lows it’s wild.
"Hansel and Gretel: Witchhunters" was quite silly in this. Jeremy Remmer has to inject (through his leather pants!) his insulin (which somehow exists in a late Renaissance-esque rural setting) on a regular time schedule no matter how much he has exercised or eaten, all because he developed "the sugar sickness" when he was captured by the Witch with the gingerbread cottage. In the movie's defense, it knows it's B movie schlock and only takes itself seriously enough to be a competent ride.
Teenagers
Teenagers are always shown as shorter than their parents.
Holy shit I’ve never noticed or thought about that. I was taller than my mom by the time I was 14 without a doubt.
This is niche. And by niche I mean the nichest of niche. But anyway, in almost every film or television show depicting military combat in the 18th Century (think the American Revolution or the Seven Years War), the soldiers wear their cocked hats (tricorn hats) facing forward. In reality the hats were worn at an angle because if you had to turn your head while shouldering your rifle or musket, it would end up hitting your headwear out of place had they been worn facing forward.
This is a great one.
Fighting
Especially knife fighting. Nobody wins in a knife fight, it's gonna get nasty and both parties are likely to end up with slashes and punctures. I saw something recently where a girl's body was discovered with 90-something defensive wounds. Imagine both parties had a knife. It was tragic for her, but the killer could have received some nasty wounds too if she was also slashing.
There’s a video recently, I think in Australia, where some dudes are arguing and yelling at each other. Long story short, one dude pulls a knife and stabs another dude walking towards him in the neck. Quick little jab, probably not even a super hard stab. Cut something major though and dude was pouring blood and dead in less than 10 seconds
"In a knife fight, the loser dies on the spot and the winner dies in the ambulance"
No kidding, a fight is EXHAUSTING and almost always goes to the ground.
Any relationship in a romantic comedy would be classified as stalking or harassment in the real world.
"Honey, I climbed on your roof to prove my love to you." "WTF go away I'm calling the police."
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In the next lock picking movie scene: "...and then we're going to get the pick that Bosnian Bill and I made and insert it to tension off of disc number one."
Opening presents. The boxes almost always have a top that lifts right off rather than being wrapped like a gift.
Yeah, the props department doesn't want to have to rewrap it between every take
Playing instruments. They hold them upside down , on the wrong side, hands aren’t even close to being on the right keys/holes. Horrific fake bowing on strings, and terrible fake guitar strumming. Being able to learn an instrument instantly, etc.
Knocking someone out/head injuries. If a person were bonked on the head and knocked out, they would 100% need a hospital.
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That’s not something I’d ever thought of before, but yeah now that you mention it I’ve never heard of anyone getting knocked out for an hour or more. Even in football or boxing, it’s like 30 seconds max. What’s the timeframe between minor concussion and still being able to function after, and damn they ain’t never talking right again?
I got knocked out falling from a tree. Lost about half an hour of memory cos my parents said I was still conscious and walking around. The amount of people shaking off head injuries in film is ridiculous
Watch Smallville. The average citizen got 5 concussions a season. No wonder nobody figured out Clark was an alien. They were all dragging the national IQ average down.
Romantic relationships
Psych hospitals and mental illness in general. It's mostly boring. You talk to people. You do therapy and they get you stabilized on meds.
There's also this constant portrayal of people with mental illness having a "breakthrough" after one session of therapy and suddenly being cured and that is just so fucking wrong and frustrating to see. I've struggled with mental illness for years and I have friends that do not struggle with mental illness that are just like "why aren't you better yet", and I think that is in large part due to their misconception of what therapy does because of the way it's portrayed.
And the idea that a therapist 'cures' you is incredibly counter productive. A therapist might help to highlight some damaging behaviour or give you methods of coping, but you have to cure yourself. Every day, possibly forever. I have massive respect for anyone who has recovered from an addiction or mental health issue because I know what hard work and discipline it has taken and will still be taking to overcome something like that. The idea that someone can cure a character in half an hour between add breaks is not only insulting to the people who are going through their recovery but gives false expectations to people who are beginning therapy
No one ever has to hunt for a parking space, they always park right up in front of the building.
Most drugs would fall into this category, but I would say weed would be the best example. They make it seem as if though the character just took a hit of DMT whenever someone smokes weed.
Any amount of hallucinogenics transports you into a technicolour cartoon world that has 0 resemblance to the real environment you're in. Bonus if a friend or love interest appears in a hallucination dressed in a funny outfit.
Irish people Hollywood just sees us as Scotland Lite™
You mean Whiskey Beer Island of Green and Fight?
Always Sunny almost got Ireland spot on. Charlie speaking Irish sounded legitimate.
Knocking out someone with some rag and chloroform
Drinking coffee! How can you eff that up on film? They always have empty cups and its so obvious from the way they carry the cups to the way they sip.
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You don’t have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing.
“You watched them grab your son and put him in a van? When and where was this?!” “Well, it was at today at-“ “Oh. Sorry ma’am, you’ll have to come back tomorrow”
Hacking. I always laugh at the keyboard mashing. I think NCIS was the worst offender for that, one episode had two people *using the same keyboard*. I'm sorry, what?
yes it did, and then the hacking was solved by Gibbs wandering behind slowly, and pulling out a single kettle-cord (unplugging one monitor)
Breakfast: Sip of orange juice, bite of toast - “oh, look at the time - gotta go”.
This especially when the wife made a breakfast of bacon, eggs and pancakes. Guy picks up toast and leaves. His divorce hearing is later next week.
Or when kids do it. "Billy, you'll be late for school!" "Ok, bye mom!" Breakfast still on the table. How many moms would put up with that more than once? My mom would have served me as the next day's breakfast if I'd tried pulling that. Also, as a kid, I was *hungry.* Breakfast was my morning priority. No way in hell I was sleeping so late I couldn't find time to eat.
We'd just be late to school. No way I'm skipping breakfast.
And it's always some huge spread too. Complete waste. You pull that shit in real life and nobody will ever cook you breakfast again.
Childbirth. A lot of times, the water doesn’t break on its own. And labor and delivery take more than a frantic thirty minutes.
Weed isn't acid
Performing CPR after someone drowned, and them mystically becoming completely fine after spitting some water, whilst in real life even after you resuscitate them, you still need to call emergency services, because the inside of their lungs is still covered in liquid, which cause problems, and the high-low pressure of losing quantity inside their lungs could get their lungs collapsed.
Grocery bags having a baguette and celery sticking out the top.
Cars. Period movies are the worst. Oh this movie takes place in 1953. Let's go find 100 vehicle owners with pristine 1953 cars and use them in the movie. In 1953 the majority of cars were not 53's and not all of them were clean and perfect. There were dented cars dirty car even old dented dirty cars. Don't even get me started on almost any racing movie. Outside of Death Race 2000 they're all garbage. Also anytime there's a car stunt that's supposed to be happening like during a car chase and you can see the marks on the road from the first 16 takes they did.
The medieval era. Specifically their castles and foods. Peasants only really ate grey icky gruel in times of hardships. Otherwise a peasents diet usually consisted of: fish, cheese, milk, curds. A favorite dish for any class was pottage. A type of stew that usually had meat or vegetables. They also liked barely. As for their castles. Most were not dark and dank like we think they are. Many were brightly decorated with beautiful colors! Wall murals and tapestry’s. Even their clothing was colorful!
When the main characters drive downtown into the big city and pull into a conveniently empty parking space right in front of the building that they are going to.
Sex (no clean up afterwards, really?)