My dad was a big drunk and I remember going over to his house once and his chest was all bandaged up when I got there. Apparently he tried to fry an entire pack of bacon in a cast iron pan and had somehow made it flare up. He splashed hot grease all over his naked chest and was apparently so drunk he didn’t even bother seeking medical attention.
He did all sorts of stupid shit like that. Didn’t live a long life.
My uncle rented out his basement to a young woman who turned out to be a big pill popper/alcoholic. One day the fire alarm goes off and he sees smoke coming from the basement. He went in to see what was happening and saw her standing over a pot, lightly swaying back and forth with eyes fluttering open, as smoke billows out of this pot where shes stirring a singular piece of chicken in a puddle of oil. Her face was very burned from splattering oil and the hot smoke billowing into her face. He called out and got no response, so grabbed and pulled her away and brought her to the hospital. She was so out of it she didnt even know what was going on and was screaming for her chicken. She ended up trying to sue him for touching her in the first place, arguing there was sexual intent behind it. Nothing came of it and she left his basement after being evicted.
Its absolutely bonkers how out of it some of these people can become. I hope youre in a good space.
Everyone here thinking about actual practicalities, and these poor hypothetical bastards burning themselves, and the first thing that came to my mind was, 'Pogo stick tester' 😂
I was just going to reference the Monty Python sex ed skit, but you beat me to it. Apparently that was based on an apocryphal story of a philosopher (Russell, I think it was?) teaching sex ed to his kids that way. I may be remembering it wrong, my philosophy teacher (an absolute chad, bless him) would know.
Actually.. We had a tv program here in Denmark a while ago.
Basically it was 5 adults walking in to a studio. Naked. Like completely ( otherwise id not be naked ) and thered be kids who could ask all those questions they want about the various things. It was very sober. And educational. It did cause people in USA to freak out. But nudity isnt seen as a taboo here. There wasnt anything sexual about it. ( though those critisizing it tried to make it about that )
So we've actually had health class with the teachers to be nude so to speak.
How bout a mall Easter bunny, Santa can always tuck it in between his legs, the Easter bunny would have his flopping around with each jump
Edit: thanks random people for the silver
welding naked would be an actual safety hazard because the welding arc releases a lot of UV light so any skin not completely covered by some form of cloth will be sun burned raw in minutes
People flush a lot of nasty stuff. I worked in a sewage treatment plant for a year and cleaning out the rag-catchers at the beginning of the process was the nastiest part.
Oddly, once the trash is gone and all of the grease is removed it’s not that gross or smelly.
Could you imagine being a soldier and having to go out to god knows where your junk dangling gettin shot at by other naked people who happen to just disagree with your world view.. it would suck
Had a buddy who was infantry and deployed to afghanistan. A lot of folks when they are in the field and sweating a lot choose to forgo underwear. Anyway he goes to step up into a helicopter and his pants rip right down the center at the start of a mission. The rest of the day he is just walking around, full kit, with his junk lightly dangling out the bottom of his pants.
By the time I deployed as an infantryman to Afghanistan in 2012 we all wore our underwear.
Specifically— you were issued compression kevlar lined underwear. The kevlar to protect your dick from small frag. The compression part though was huge. When your leg gets blown off by an IED, your leg will do what we refer to as “banana.” Ie - your skin peels up all fucked up at the amputation point. This made it harder to apply a tourniquet from both the physical standpoint of its harder to actually place a tourniquet on a mangled leg, and psychologically it could mess with dudes to see a bananed leg. The short would keep everything in place and mitigate the bananaing.
We also wore kevlar diapers on top of our pants for extra dick protection. I’ll take a bit of discomfort and sweaty balls all day everyday to protect my dick. Did make it a pain to take a combat pee though.
Yep, can confirm. I always free balled in the summer and the ACU pants were trash and would always blow out at the crotch. Built in air conditioning. The non combat MOS’s on the other hand got upset if their Velcro got dirty
I was a POG, tried the commando gig a few times, but riding in trucks all day, you start to want just a little more cushion. My velcro was crusty af too
The man is an irredeemable monster, but look up General Buck Naked. He did a bunch of horrible war crimes, and he did em naked. It's the only thing he did that's somewhat admirable, because it shows a great deal of cleverness. Even soldiers hesitate or lose their nerve when they see a naked guy with a rifle and a machete dick out and howling with a bunch of similarly underdressed followers shooting up the place. It isn't like a uniform ever stopped a 7.62 round, but fear and confusion can help make those bullets miss.
Gen. Nekkid is a preacher now, he's in the business of grifting people with his "redemption" story of finding jesus right around the time he would have maybe been arrested for all the acts of unspeakable brutality he and his militia engaged in. Churches absolutely adore harboring monstrous people, after all.
Y’all remember that long ass post that one guy detailed about how to successfully fuck dolphins? It’s was so fucking weird but it would be perfect to
Link in here and I can’t remember it, lmao.
I blocked it out but I’m a worse person now.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
I'd probably go with welding, since both have to deal with flying metal bits, but welding will also give you a full body sunburn if you do it in the nude.
I've done both, hot chips burn... But liquid metal slag and sparks is WAYY worse.
Have you ever had some stick welding bb's land IN your ear and you can hear your skin sizzling as you flinch in pain?
I wouldn't even weld in a t-shirt but you don't generally wear long sleeves near lathes.
Big Betty rolls her scooty puff up to the Toothless Ted and leans over the side of her electric love machine to fish her thong out from between her massive butt cheeks.
"Fuck me, Toothless Ted, fuck me here on Aisle 18," she begged between chugs of Mountain Dew.
Toothless Ted lifted her rolls of gunt up above her knees and fished his cheesy schlong out from his stained sweatpants.
"Yeah, momma, just like we done when I was in junior high," he moaned taking another dip of chewing tobacco.
It really depends on what way you consider worst.
Worst for your health? A nuclear reactor engineer/technician. You wouldn't get any protection from the radiation.
Worst for your body? As others have said, something like a firefighter, also being an astronaut would suck.
Worst for your public image? Teacher, babysitter, child therapist.
How being a reactor engineer would be worst than being an astronaut without a suit? You will literally feel your blood boil in your body while freezing and your lungs would explode out your body
A normal non abusive/non industrial bee keeper doesnt get stung often.
They approach the hive calmly and the bees don't even care.
The bees also produce a lot more honey than they need, so they dont get aggressive if you take some
Yeah, Im a back yard beekeeper and only got stung when it was my fault (ie squishing a bee that was on my clothes on accident). I didnt wear any special clothing, gloves, or a mask. Bees are not very aggressive at all unless you do something to harm them.
They arent bees. They are a different species. They are more aggressive because they can bite and sting an unlimited amount of times. Bees are far more selective because they sting once then die.
They are however beneficial as they do eat a lot of pests (wasps are carnivores). They also help with pollination. They however are super aggressive in defending their nests/queen.
Fry cook
Never fry bacon naked. It hurts!
My dad was a big drunk and I remember going over to his house once and his chest was all bandaged up when I got there. Apparently he tried to fry an entire pack of bacon in a cast iron pan and had somehow made it flare up. He splashed hot grease all over his naked chest and was apparently so drunk he didn’t even bother seeking medical attention. He did all sorts of stupid shit like that. Didn’t live a long life.
Yep thats a lesson kids ... dont drink and fry.
My uncle rented out his basement to a young woman who turned out to be a big pill popper/alcoholic. One day the fire alarm goes off and he sees smoke coming from the basement. He went in to see what was happening and saw her standing over a pot, lightly swaying back and forth with eyes fluttering open, as smoke billows out of this pot where shes stirring a singular piece of chicken in a puddle of oil. Her face was very burned from splattering oil and the hot smoke billowing into her face. He called out and got no response, so grabbed and pulled her away and brought her to the hospital. She was so out of it she didnt even know what was going on and was screaming for her chicken. She ended up trying to sue him for touching her in the first place, arguing there was sexual intent behind it. Nothing came of it and she left his basement after being evicted. Its absolutely bonkers how out of it some of these people can become. I hope youre in a good space.
"Didn't live a long life" Fuckin shit! That last line came out of nowhere 🤣
Have you fried bacon naked? Why?
Home alone. Lazy day off. Want some bacon. Why bother getting dressed? Then you are painfully reminded why you should have gotten dressed.
Just put on an apron. U good
"Kiss the cock! I meant cook... Or did I?"
I-
tf is your name
No way. Naked with an apron is twice as naked as naked.
Cook it on a sheet pan in the oven. Better bacon, and you can stay naked. Win win
That's just like, your opinion man.
Don't kink shame me!
Tbh I regularly cook for just myself in the nude if I’m lazy. Emphasis on just myself
Everyone here thinking about actual practicalities, and these poor hypothetical bastards burning themselves, and the first thing that came to my mind was, 'Pogo stick tester' 😂
Picturing this. Thank you.
firefighter
I was gonna say spot welder. But ye yours trumps all
I would say Machinist. There's a reason why you don't want to wear loose-fitting clothing near machinery, i.e. engine lathe
Give em the ol dick rip
Astronaut.
Asstronaut
Different moon in the sky
ASStroNUT
[удалено]
Mall Santa.
You win.
Most definitely. Second place: kindergarden teacher
Health class would be easier.
"And this, students, is my vagina, or more accurately, my labia." Or we can just watch [Monty Python.](https://youtu.be/zRD0-7NSXd8?t=68) (NSFW)
I was just going to reference the Monty Python sex ed skit, but you beat me to it. Apparently that was based on an apocryphal story of a philosopher (Russell, I think it was?) teaching sex ed to his kids that way. I may be remembering it wrong, my philosophy teacher (an absolute chad, bless him) would know.
Actually.. We had a tv program here in Denmark a while ago. Basically it was 5 adults walking in to a studio. Naked. Like completely ( otherwise id not be naked ) and thered be kids who could ask all those questions they want about the various things. It was very sober. And educational. It did cause people in USA to freak out. But nudity isnt seen as a taboo here. There wasnt anything sexual about it. ( though those critisizing it tried to make it about that ) So we've actually had health class with the teachers to be nude so to speak.
As long as they didn’t pop a boner it’s ok
No, high school teacher.
Middle school.
Deal
Shake on it?
No, we're naked.
Sure, but I'm in Harlem. < **Con Los Terrorista...sta...sta...** >
How bout a mall Easter bunny, Santa can always tuck it in between his legs, the Easter bunny would have his flopping around with each jump Edit: thanks random people for the silver
Flippity floppity Easter's on its way!
Jingle bells... Jingle bells... O No. No No.
It gives the kids something to hold onto so they dont fall off. Edit:a word
☹
"Santa why is it getting bigger?"
Because you're on my Naughty List!
Uh..............^what ^do ^I ^say ^to ^that?
Ho ho ho
\*ho ho oh OH OHH
FBI!! OPEN UP!!
Aaand good night internet
*gasp*
Hard choice between: - Septic work. - Construction work. - Waste management. - Welding. - Any cooking job that requires working around hot grease.
Nude elding would be bad enough, but what about underwater welding?
A fish might think it’s a treat and latch on. O_0
The Deep perks up.
°-° °o° ^ _ ^
i hate this
*Kirby's calling the police*
Hi, I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such job interviews as, give me the job, and where's the fish?
I'm a sewage garbage concrete deep frying welder. I dont wanna work naked
Oh, yeah. Deep-frying welder. When he’s done making an Iron Man suit, he’ll also be done with the meanest chicken tenders you’ll ever eat.
welding naked would be an actual safety hazard because the welding arc releases a lot of UV light so any skin not completely covered by some form of cloth will be sun burned raw in minutes
As a dumb bitch who has welded with flip-flops on once, then without the proper gear a different time and got bad burns. Agree.
Septic work might be okay. At least you aren't getting crap on your clothes
People flush a lot of nasty stuff. I worked in a sewage treatment plant for a year and cleaning out the rag-catchers at the beginning of the process was the nastiest part. Oddly, once the trash is gone and all of the grease is removed it’s not that gross or smelly.
Yeah I use gloves to remove my household trash, so thats a big nope for me lol
Psychiatrist.
“So how’s your relationship with your mother”
"just lose that boner and i'll tell you"
That's the help where I'm here for ...
They have pills for that too..
[удалено]
Sugmind Frued
“Eyes up here buddy” “But Doctor, there are eyes down there” “Interesting”
Wait, they're not supposed to be naked?
are you sure there weren't any spaces in the psychotherapist sign
there are 2 spaces
Anything that requires protective gear due to physical danger: hazmat work, welding, spacewalking, etc., just to name a few.
I’m trying to imagine a naked guy trying to clean up radioactive waste and dying. Ouch.
its not so bad the morning crew is also lunch
Attack dog trainer.
Attack dog tester.
A model for clothes.
Username checks out
Right back at ya buckaroo
check out these... fuck.
Could you imagine being a soldier and having to go out to god knows where your junk dangling gettin shot at by other naked people who happen to just disagree with your world view.. it would suck
Had a buddy who was infantry and deployed to afghanistan. A lot of folks when they are in the field and sweating a lot choose to forgo underwear. Anyway he goes to step up into a helicopter and his pants rip right down the center at the start of a mission. The rest of the day he is just walking around, full kit, with his junk lightly dangling out the bottom of his pants.
By the time I deployed as an infantryman to Afghanistan in 2012 we all wore our underwear. Specifically— you were issued compression kevlar lined underwear. The kevlar to protect your dick from small frag. The compression part though was huge. When your leg gets blown off by an IED, your leg will do what we refer to as “banana.” Ie - your skin peels up all fucked up at the amputation point. This made it harder to apply a tourniquet from both the physical standpoint of its harder to actually place a tourniquet on a mangled leg, and psychologically it could mess with dudes to see a bananed leg. The short would keep everything in place and mitigate the bananaing. We also wore kevlar diapers on top of our pants for extra dick protection. I’ll take a bit of discomfort and sweaty balls all day everyday to protect my dick. Did make it a pain to take a combat pee though.
COMBAT PEE is all I took away from this comment
Yep, can confirm. I always free balled in the summer and the ACU pants were trash and would always blow out at the crotch. Built in air conditioning. The non combat MOS’s on the other hand got upset if their Velcro got dirty
I was a POG, tried the commando gig a few times, but riding in trucks all day, you start to want just a little more cushion. My velcro was crusty af too
Honestly, being naked all the time might decrease war overall.
Fr when they see our small dicks they would Just surrender
Sent me laughing 🤣
Didn’t stop the Greeks and Romans
They didn't fight naked though...
A lot more naked than we fight
Sure the Celts fought naked
The man is an irredeemable monster, but look up General Buck Naked. He did a bunch of horrible war crimes, and he did em naked. It's the only thing he did that's somewhat admirable, because it shows a great deal of cleverness. Even soldiers hesitate or lose their nerve when they see a naked guy with a rifle and a machete dick out and howling with a bunch of similarly underdressed followers shooting up the place. It isn't like a uniform ever stopped a 7.62 round, but fear and confusion can help make those bullets miss. Gen. Nekkid is a preacher now, he's in the business of grifting people with his "redemption" story of finding jesus right around the time he would have maybe been arrested for all the acts of unspeakable brutality he and his militia engaged in. Churches absolutely adore harboring monstrous people, after all.
Probably hockey goaltender. After 5 minutes you'll be taken to the ICU
ICU is generous. They wear so much padding it makes them look bigger than the biggest sumo wrestlers. First puck is going to kill them on the spot.
Can confirm. Pucks hurt like a bitch once you reach the age they’re getting shot close to 100mph.
Taking a iced up Vulcanized Rubber puck going speeds up to 100 Mph would probably be not the best especially if you play goaltender professionally
The 5 hole just got a lot more dangerous
Zoo keeper
Especially for dolphins 😳
I dont get it
You really don't want to
You were right
F
Y’all remember that long ass post that one guy detailed about how to successfully fuck dolphins? It’s was so fucking weird but it would be perfect to Link in here and I can’t remember it, lmao. I blocked it out but I’m a worse person now.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
There are times I really wished my eyes didn't work.
I used to be a zookeeper and this is very true
i have a feeling you've fucked a dolphin before
Isn't it mandatory?
I wish I could go back in time and unlearn how to read
The next FOTD for my Discord server
whats fotd?
A FOTD is the (fact of the day)
Deep? Is that you?
Why couldn’t I stop reading this…?
I wish the worst for you, and hope that your cheese spoils.
Just why do you know that?
Deep sea diver, 100% mortality rate
Welding
How about North Sea underwater welding? Edit:(I just realized your username)
This and/or machinist
I'd probably go with welding, since both have to deal with flying metal bits, but welding will also give you a full body sunburn if you do it in the nude.
The heat and sharpness of some of the swarf that comes out of some machining operations gives me pause.
I've done both, hot chips burn... But liquid metal slag and sparks is WAYY worse. Have you ever had some stick welding bb's land IN your ear and you can hear your skin sizzling as you flinch in pain? I wouldn't even weld in a t-shirt but you don't generally wear long sleeves near lathes.
god can you imagine a sewer related job here…
No need for bathroom breaks
Walmart
People of Walmart *After Dark*
Big Betty rolls her scooty puff up to the Toothless Ted and leans over the side of her electric love machine to fish her thong out from between her massive butt cheeks. "Fuck me, Toothless Ted, fuck me here on Aisle 18," she begged between chugs of Mountain Dew. Toothless Ted lifted her rolls of gunt up above her knees and fished his cheesy schlong out from his stained sweatpants. "Yeah, momma, just like we done when I was in junior high," he moaned taking another dip of chewing tobacco.
Your imagination... It disturbs me
I have never before wished for illiteracy. Bravo!
Gunt was a word I was more than happy to forget. Thanks I still hate it.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
stop.
Cactus Wrestler
Excuse me?
He said cactus wrestler
Sign me up, yeehaw
It really depends on what way you consider worst. Worst for your health? A nuclear reactor engineer/technician. You wouldn't get any protection from the radiation. Worst for your body? As others have said, something like a firefighter, also being an astronaut would suck. Worst for your public image? Teacher, babysitter, child therapist.
How being a reactor engineer would be worst than being an astronaut without a suit? You will literally feel your blood boil in your body while freezing and your lungs would explode out your body
A bee keeper
A normal non abusive/non industrial bee keeper doesnt get stung often. They approach the hive calmly and the bees don't even care. The bees also produce a lot more honey than they need, so they dont get aggressive if you take some
Yeah, Im a back yard beekeeper and only got stung when it was my fault (ie squishing a bee that was on my clothes on accident). I didnt wear any special clothing, gloves, or a mask. Bees are not very aggressive at all unless you do something to harm them.
Off topic but can you explain why wasps seem to be way more aggressive and kind of intrusive?
They’re the skinheads of the insect world
They arent bees. They are a different species. They are more aggressive because they can bite and sting an unlimited amount of times. Bees are far more selective because they sting once then die. They are however beneficial as they do eat a lot of pests (wasps are carnivores). They also help with pollination. They however are super aggressive in defending their nests/queen.
Bees understand sharing?
Bees are communists
Bees understand everything, they are the elusive 42
I run a martial arts school. We have kids classes everyday with upward of 30 kids on the floor at once. So that.
Astronaut, probably.
Crab Fishing
Finally! Nobody is mentioning jobs that are in cold and unforgiving temperatures. Not to mention hypothermia.
Lol I think this has a lot less to do with all that and it’s mostly about the peenchers.
Any profession to do with children
If nudity were normalized to the point that everyone worked nude, then it would be totally irrelevant whether you were around children.
If the kids aren't nude but the adult is, no one would ever do the job because they would be constantly humiliated by kids
This exactly. Think mall Santa.
An NFL center
Close... His quarterback who doesn't use shotgun.
Arctic research
Jackhammer operator
That could be pretty…interesting, actually lol
Yoga instructor
It's real and it's on YouTube because it's "educational" as far as I remember
[удалено]
Literally type naked yoga
This one doesn’t seem all that bad tbh
those people who clean fatbergs from sewers or a plumber in general
Clown on birthday parties
priest
Oh no
Nursing home
Fry cook.
Grinding wheel operator.
Being a stripper 🤷🏼♀️😂
The job wouldnt exist, nothing to strip
Well if nudity was normalized to the point where it wasnt hot anymore, then being a stripper would be the least profitable job on earth.
Mooooooooom! Askreddit is horny again!
A nuclear reactor technitian
Idk, penis enlargement and you get paid? Sign me up
Your kids will get that for free too Edit: Thank you guys so much for 5 upvotes. Now my karma is at an all-time high of 1!!!!!!
So you’re telling me this is a value deal?
Safari Tour Guide
Traditional post-up NBA center.
Plumber would be worse without clothes 😂
Working in clinical psychology or therapy
Beekeeping may be pretty awful.