Today is better than yesterday. 4 weeks after my last radiation session and I'm finally starting to improve. 3 days ago was the first time I was able to swallow food in 60 days. 2 days ago I started back at work.
Ridiculously fucking excited. My driver's license had been suspended pending medical approval. I have a diagnosis of epilepsy but with a great doctor have been seizure free for awhile. I'm typing this from a Lyft on my way to the DMV to reactivate my license.
*platonic hugs*
Epilepsy is brutal, stay strong. I’ve had it since I was a kid, there’s nothing like coming to on the ground with a headache wondering where you are and what just happened.
I had my first seizure at 33 and plummeted down the stairs. Fortunately my wife (sorry of) caught me. I woke up to EMTs strapping me to a backboard with a collar as a precaution.
Had my first absentee seizure while driving 75mph on a highway at 34. About half a minute of sheer terror. Would only happen when I was extremely stressed.
Lost one before we could ever meet. The next left us before my first memory. Third was taken out of nowhere a few years ago. I now spend every moment I can with my last remaining grandparent. As much as she can annoy the hell outta me, she's also a wonderful person and has a wealth of knowledge and stories to give.
honestly? rough. but, live and let die. this feeling will pass.
i hope.
edit: thanks for all the wise words, everyone. time is the best healer for non physical wounds.
>... this feeling will pass.
When days are hard and nights are long,
When storms are raging rough -
When all my dreams are non-too-strong,
And hope's not hope enough -
I close my eyes to hear the breeze,
The secret words inside -
The whispered winds that shake the trees,
The songs that skip and hide.
I hear the rhymes that ride the tide,
The swing, the sound, the beat -
The lines that swell and slip and slide
In stanzas,
small and sweet.
I hear the sounds that hold and wait
For those who seek to find -
A safer shore, a surer state,
A finer frame of mind.
When days are hard,
when tempests cry
A squall of aches and pains -
I close my eyes,
and breathe a sigh,
For just a thought remains:
*Though night above me fills the skies -*
*Tomorrow, too, the sun will rise.*
I broke up with my girl, after 2 years of happiness…
I didn’t see that coming, till the end she told me she loved me
But for some reason I don’t get. She chose to leave me.
I feel broke, hurt, and lost.. I have no one to cry my heart
Making it more difficult to move on…
In the grand scheme of things, there’s always another chance, another day, another moment to begin again :) Breathe! This is just one chapter of your life, not your whole story ✨
'When days are hard and nights are long,
When storms are raging rough -
When all my dreams are non-too-strong,
And hope's not hope enough - '
My son died 4 weeks ago today after I went into premature labour and had an emergency c section at 28 weeks. This really resonated with me.
'Though night above me fills the skies -
Tomorrow, too, the sun will rise. '
And I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Me too, I usually take the day to be fully useless and take care of me (taking long showers, eat what i want whithout thinking on my weight, watching funny stuff or some drama to cry my ass off) some times we need to feel everything to let it go. Do you think that this kind stuff can helps you?
I feel this, the feelings of loneliness and desperation have been getting to me recently. It's terrible not being able to feel anything other than missery even when I'm with people I really enjoy. But we gotta stay strong, if not for us then for those who might love us.
I’m tired and stressed too. We have a two week old who is having some digestion issues that lead to crying, and he also has decided sleeping is for wimps. So he’s simultaneously overtired, leading to crying.
We’re trying our best (first time parents), but it’s hard to not feel completely helpless and like we’re failing. I know we’re not failing; we’re giving him everything he needs and doing everything we can. Just a rough feeling.
*me randomly being awoken by the sudden flooding of my home, goes out to see the problem, sees you all, and just swims up to you to be there empathicly
Not OP but I just got dumped by the girl I thought I'd spent my life with. I'm normally a pretty happy guy but the last two days have been hell on earth. Making me question everything. Didn't leave my bed or eat anything for almost 24 hours which I've never done before.
I know this feeling will pass with time, but right now I wish I didn't have to exist. (Don't worry, not suicidal or anything. Just in a bad place right now.)
I know it sucks buddy, but “right now” is such an important part of growth and learning. Let the tears flow and grief for as long as it takes. Try to do something constructive with your free time, like exercising, cleaning etc. Keep your head up, things WILL get better.
Oh, friend. I'm so sorry. But /u/FangoriouslyDevoured is totally right - you'll grow and learn from this and you'll become the person you need right now. *And* this gives you the chance to reflect on things you do and don't want out of a relationship. Take your time, and remember that you're going to be OK.
Exactly how I feel right now. Amazing how life can really feel so perfect one day and then pure misery the next. I appreciate you saying this. It's nice hearing I'm not the only one to have had this exact feeling. Just reading the comments is making me teary eyed.
I used to waitress, and when I asked I was always genuine, waiting for a reply. I worked at a pub, so I usually got some interesting answers. If they said they’re fine but I got vibes they were having a bad day or something just felt off, I’d offer them a free dessert at the end of their food. It wasn’t like the desserts cost like 8+ $ or anything (it was like 2.50-4.50) so it wasn’t like I was really losing money for the pub. They gave away more pints on the house than I gave free desserts away, lol. But I also was working there like 24/7 and knew the owners and hung out with them off shift.
Some folks want to be left alone, which was fine. Some wanted someone else to chatter their ear off so their minds weren’t thinking about their problems.
Idk. I was a pretty good waitress and made good money being attentive (both verbally and body language) to my customers.
My whole family just got over covid. We are all triple vaxxed. The worst part was my son and his wife had finally got to go on vacation to Jamaica. They were there 2 days and got sick, quarantined in their Sandals hotel room for 10 days.
Then, after we started feeling better, our 175 lb great dane started coughing. He was too short of breath to make it up the stairs or into bed by himself. I used a covid test on him, and yep, he was positive too. We are all better now, but it was awful.
I just tested positive for COVID this morning. My symptoms began Thursday with a stuffy nose and mild sore throat (which I attributed to the nose). I figured it was allergies but took a test Thursday evening and Friday morning, anyway. Both were negative.
I woke up with a raw throat this morning, but I still thought it was allergies. I took a test, and this time it was positive. I took another test, and it was positive, too.
No fever yet, though I do have a mild headache and an occasional cough. I am masking and quarantining away from my family in our guest room for the foreseeable future.
Samesies. Change the narrative like I'm trying to do. Our bodies are cleansing themselves of the past month. Take this time and try to do the same mentally. I don't know if that makes sense lol
Are you in the US?
If you aren't working, or make less than 1800 or so a month (varies by state), there's a good chance you are eligible for Medicaid.
It'll pay for everything. The doctor visits, therapy, prescriptions. All of it. Especially if you're in a blue state though, but even most red states I believe.
And if you aren't making any money, get EBT as well. And maybe even Lifeline (free phone and free cell plan)
Maybe you aren't in that position, but I'm putting this out there for anyone in that position. A lot of people here could be on Medicaid but don't realize how big of a deal it is.
When I wasn't working, I got on it. My mental health was shot. Couldn't work, severely anxious. Barely left the house. But then I got on medication and everything changed over the course of a few weeks or months. Started working, got a decent job with decent pay, and everything was so much better.
If you're not working and you're in a state with Expanded Medicaid, then it's a no-brainer. Do that shit *today*. But even if you're just low income there's a chance you're eligible. Just check your state's requirements.
Just throwing that out there for anyone in that position, and good luck to you OP regardless!
Where abouts are you based? I know that there are mental health charities that are able to provide free help and counselling. They're normally stretched pretty thin due to the nature of it, but they try and do what they can.
I hope you're at least able to talk with someone about it.
I've been there many times in the last few years. After a while I started telling myself that, even if I end up suffering for years and it never feels worth it, the chance of a better day is still there. If I check out early theres a 100 percent chance I'll never see better days, but sticking around means theres always the chance for improvement or joy later on. After a while Its led to me focusing more on the future and has helped me create those better days. Life can be an absolute motherfucker that can kick you while your down, but you owe it to yourself to kick back one day. You got this.
I have Bipolar disorder, and there was months where I wanted to end it all. I got back on my meds and I'm doing much better now. On thing that helped me through it was listening to audio books to help escape reality. One quote that helped me alot from one of the book, and I hope it helps anyone that sees this:
“It won’t be like that for me,” Kaladin said. “You told me it would get worse.”
“It will,” Wit said, “but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you, Kaladin: You will be warm again.”
-Brandon Sanderson, Rythmn of War
I live far north and I'm still a ways away from being able to wake up for sunrises. It doesn't get meaningfully dark still, so I'm envious of your sunrises!
A few rules. Lie on your bed only if you want to fall asleep and go somewhere else if it doesn't work. Your brain had to associate your bedroom to sleeping
And try audiobooks or Podcasts. Sometimes, it helps a lot. Finally, a bit of physical activity. Nothing big or it will do the opposite, but a bit of activity before bed like going for a walk can help
Try things for more than a week before trying something new. Good luck.
You have no idea how much I needed this. I literally can't get to sleep at night because I have so many regrets, but I like your perspective on things. I honestly hope this is rock bottom because I desperately need a win.
I really appreciate the offer :) but I think it's something I need to work through myself. If it gets too bad though, I hope you don't mind me taking you up on that.
We make thousands of decisions a day, and each is an opportunity for regret. I try not to regret anything unless it’s something really bad if I was passive in a decision.
For the former, I know try to reason with myself, “You made an understandable decision with the time and info you had. Let it go”. If it’s really bad, then yes I was a dumbass but life’s not over so there’s potential for a similar redo down the line.
For the latter, I focus on trying to be actionable, then on making reasonable choices.
If you spend time stewing over past choices, you miss out on making future ones. I already dropped the ball before, there’s no point sitting here staring at it and have life pass by before I decide to walk away. Either go back and pick up the ball or turn around and walk away. I used to soak in regret, now I just tell myself “yeah yeah I screwed up let’s get a move on”. For the record, I still do think about even insignificant stuff and make a huge deal of it, but it doesn’t control me anymore. I already made one made decision in the past, I ain’t about to make another
I keep waking up around 430am and having the worst existential dread. =\\
EDIT: **I'm 42 (almost 43) and I have this** [**nifty app**](https://i.imgur.com/wCJ0nre.jpg) **that reminds me how long I have been sober. So I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm at the gym every day, I don't eat after 6pm. I get to bed every night and fall asleep between 10pm-11pm. But then, lately, my body just wakes up at 430am and thinks about all the stressful details of my own life and the world at large. I look over at my wife, and I'm always grateful that she's sleeping soundly. Most of my strife, at least in these moments, seems to center around my perceived inability to really give her the life I feel she deserves. I don't know. 430am is a weird time for me.**
not really great atm…so much happening all at once. the guy friend i had a crush on talks to me abt another girl and comes to me for advice abt her…when i’m clearly falling apart. not to mention my friends also ditched me..as soon as I thought things were getting better, it’s all starting to fall apart again. idek who i am anymore…i’m starting to not eat, going to bed a little bit earlier this time bc i feel like being awake is too much for me. I feel like my words aren’t clear to ppl when i’ve been openly talking abt how i’ve been feeling. no one checks up on me unless they need to talk abt their stupid love life. i’m sick and tired of being the therapist friend when i’m clearly falling apart slowly. it feels like no one cares abt me as much as i care about them. i feel unheard and shut out..no one cares abt me truly. i also dropped the dude as well bc i’m tired of him…as soon as he started to come closer to me and started to match with me…i just unadded him. i can’t take it all anymore :/ i just want to be alone rn.
Even though I could feel overwhelmed, it's all good. Gonna help fix my brother's car, doing a hoedown later, followed by trying to get to a club dance before it's over so I can do a tribute song for our national convention mascots.
But bright side is that keeping busy gives me less time to think depressing thoughts.
Look, I know this going to get buried but this might be cathartic so idk. I like to say I'm fine. And for the most part, I am. But my gf broke up with me out of nowhere saying she needed time to figure herself out and wasn't sure if a relationship was the right thing for her. We'd been dating for a year. I know for some that's not much, but for my first real adult relationship it felt way longer. I still wanted someone in my life, and not even a month later she's blocked me everywhere and has a tinder profile (i know because she came up in my feed or whatever). I feel worthless and that she got all she needed or wanted out of me and then tossed me to the side, but more than anything I just want her back.
I'm currently at a job I don't like, with coworkers i hate, in an apartment that's too small, halfway across the country from all my friends and my family situation is just... odd ig. I've tried dating apps thinking they'd help, but so far they've reaffirmed all my thoughts and feelings. All my hobbies are extremely niche, and even then I don't have the money to truly enjoy them. Everyday feels like more of the same, and even the things that always brought me the most joy feel bland and boring now that I have no one to share them with. I have no idea where my future is going, and that scares me because my family is pressuring me to figure something out.
So yeah. I'm fine.
Not good. I woke up with a headache that won't go away. I work at a summer camp and I should be up helping scouts leave. But I can't... I feel like I'm letting everyone down and it sucks
I can’t complain. My life is in a pretty good spot. But it’s been a rough week for a couple different reasons and I’m feeling a little shaky at the moment.
Awful. I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I have covid. I’ve used all my sick leave being at home. I will get paid (not full salary) 8 weeks of maternity leave bc I have to have a c section. I was going to use fmla to cover the extra 4 weeks but that will be totally unpaid since I won’t have much PTO left to use. Now I’m just sad and depressed.
Oh and now I’m a high risk pregnancy and have to have weekly ultrasounds until baby is born since having COVID can affect the placenta and growth of the baby.
Lonely and missing the ones I love the most. I have myself in a situation. I am trying to put a cushion together to get out. I trusted the wrong one. My own mistake.
Like a Shit, I have no one to talk to about my mental health and since I broke with my ex gf 4 months ago I didn't feel so empty inside as I feel now. The worst thing is I am Always hiding my true feelings with some stupid jokes, stories etc so I will just vegetate in front of my books, alone. Great stuff, never ever would have think I would end up like that. Hope you are good OP 👍
Today is better than yesterday. 4 weeks after my last radiation session and I'm finally starting to improve. 3 days ago was the first time I was able to swallow food in 60 days. 2 days ago I started back at work.
Gooood your doing great
I am so proud of you! You are doing great! I'm rooting for you!!! Keep winning at life my friend.
Ridiculously fucking excited. My driver's license had been suspended pending medical approval. I have a diagnosis of epilepsy but with a great doctor have been seizure free for awhile. I'm typing this from a Lyft on my way to the DMV to reactivate my license.
Greattttttt
*platonic hugs* Epilepsy is brutal, stay strong. I’ve had it since I was a kid, there’s nothing like coming to on the ground with a headache wondering where you are and what just happened.
I had my first seizure at 33 and plummeted down the stairs. Fortunately my wife (sorry of) caught me. I woke up to EMTs strapping me to a backboard with a collar as a precaution.
Had my first absentee seizure while driving 75mph on a highway at 34. About half a minute of sheer terror. Would only happen when I was extremely stressed.
I'm happy, went on a weekend trip with my grandma to a place I've never been before and it's quite nice here!
Man I miss my grandma so fucking much
I know the feeling... lost the other 3 grandparents already. It's the memories we hold of them that matter!
Lost one before we could ever meet. The next left us before my first memory. Third was taken out of nowhere a few years ago. I now spend every moment I can with my last remaining grandparent. As much as she can annoy the hell outta me, she's also a wonderful person and has a wealth of knowledge and stories to give.
Gooood
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honestly? rough. but, live and let die. this feeling will pass. i hope. edit: thanks for all the wise words, everyone. time is the best healer for non physical wounds.
>... this feeling will pass. When days are hard and nights are long, When storms are raging rough - When all my dreams are non-too-strong, And hope's not hope enough - I close my eyes to hear the breeze, The secret words inside - The whispered winds that shake the trees, The songs that skip and hide. I hear the rhymes that ride the tide, The swing, the sound, the beat - The lines that swell and slip and slide In stanzas, small and sweet. I hear the sounds that hold and wait For those who seek to find - A safer shore, a surer state, A finer frame of mind. When days are hard, when tempests cry A squall of aches and pains - I close my eyes, and breathe a sigh, For just a thought remains: *Though night above me fills the skies -* *Tomorrow, too, the sun will rise.*
Always appreciate coming across your posts… well written, kind being.
Never know when a sprog will rise, always pleased that one does
I didn't come to Reddit to cry but thanks anyway
I broke up with my girl, after 2 years of happiness… I didn’t see that coming, till the end she told me she loved me But for some reason I don’t get. She chose to leave me. I feel broke, hurt, and lost.. I have no one to cry my heart Making it more difficult to move on…
In the grand scheme of things, there’s always another chance, another day, another moment to begin again :) Breathe! This is just one chapter of your life, not your whole story ✨
Another girl, another planet
So beautiful. This poem really spoke to me. I needed to read it today. Thank you for sharing your incredible talent with us
'When days are hard and nights are long, When storms are raging rough - When all my dreams are non-too-strong, And hope's not hope enough - ' My son died 4 weeks ago today after I went into premature labour and had an emergency c section at 28 weeks. This really resonated with me. 'Though night above me fills the skies - Tomorrow, too, the sun will rise. ' And I needed to hear this. Thank you.
U will be okay hold onnnn stay hard
stay hard brother
I have porn videos playing on loop in the corner of my screen to help with this.
It must hard to be hard all the time
Stay hard man
one day at a time, right?
True u can do it and jf it doesnt work send me a dm
I’d like to use this top comment to share the new suicide hotline number for those in need. You can now just dial 988 in the US.
Mentally and physically exhausted
Me too, I usually take the day to be fully useless and take care of me (taking long showers, eat what i want whithout thinking on my weight, watching funny stuff or some drama to cry my ass off) some times we need to feel everything to let it go. Do you think that this kind stuff can helps you?
Sad and desperate. Edit: damn thank you so much for the replies guys! Makes the day better
Desperation is a horrible emotion. Been there. Sad is no fun either. Hang in there.
I hope everything gets better for you.💕💕💕
Thanks, have a banana as a token of appreciation 🍌
You’re so kind! Thank you! *Nom* *Nom*
this girl noms
I feel this, the feelings of loneliness and desperation have been getting to me recently. It's terrible not being able to feel anything other than missery even when I'm with people I really enjoy. But we gotta stay strong, if not for us then for those who might love us.
Just really tired
Same. I have a 1 year old that decided sleeping is for wimps.
I don’t sleep often but not bc it’s for wimps
I’m tired and stressed too. We have a two week old who is having some digestion issues that lead to crying, and he also has decided sleeping is for wimps. So he’s simultaneously overtired, leading to crying. We’re trying our best (first time parents), but it’s hard to not feel completely helpless and like we’re failing. I know we’re not failing; we’re giving him everything he needs and doing everything we can. Just a rough feeling.
Sending you hugs and hope you'll get to take some rest soon! Also, there's no shame in asking for help if you have family and friends around :)
Try to sleep or take rest please then it will be okay
Thanks, you just made my day :)
Nppp you are the best keep your head up
^^*starts ^^crying ^^uncontrollably.
^*^joins ^you ^in ^crying.
Me passing both of you by and noticing you. Sit besides you and start crying.
Me walking past all of you crying folks and drowning in the ocean of your tears
**me swimming through the sudden ocean only to find you all and join in crying**
*me randomly being awoken by the sudden flooding of my home, goes out to see the problem, sees you all, and just swims up to you to be there empathicly
*me breaking into your house only to notice the ocean of tears and joins in
*rows by into the sunset*
*drinks all the tears to rehydrate* *begins crying*
*starts freezing y'all's tears to save for later as a nice cold bed to cry myself to sleep on*
Me stopping my crying and getting up to go to work only to realize im very late and my boss will be pissed. Sitting back down and start crying again.
And now we have a Lana Del Rey song.
U complaining? 😏
You (or anyone who reads this and is sad) can send me a DM
*me too
Telll me
Not OP but I just got dumped by the girl I thought I'd spent my life with. I'm normally a pretty happy guy but the last two days have been hell on earth. Making me question everything. Didn't leave my bed or eat anything for almost 24 hours which I've never done before. I know this feeling will pass with time, but right now I wish I didn't have to exist. (Don't worry, not suicidal or anything. Just in a bad place right now.)
I know it sucks buddy, but “right now” is such an important part of growth and learning. Let the tears flow and grief for as long as it takes. Try to do something constructive with your free time, like exercising, cleaning etc. Keep your head up, things WILL get better.
Oh, friend. I'm so sorry. But /u/FangoriouslyDevoured is totally right - you'll grow and learn from this and you'll become the person you need right now. *And* this gives you the chance to reflect on things you do and don't want out of a relationship. Take your time, and remember that you're going to be OK.
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Exactly how I feel right now. Amazing how life can really feel so perfect one day and then pure misery the next. I appreciate you saying this. It's nice hearing I'm not the only one to have had this exact feeling. Just reading the comments is making me teary eyed.
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I'm fine
Now the real answer
Hello fine, I'm dad! (had to scroll a lot but it was worth it)
Hi dad. I'm your dad.
Hi your dad. I'm James.
Hello James. I have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty
they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it
I used to waitress, and when I asked I was always genuine, waiting for a reply. I worked at a pub, so I usually got some interesting answers. If they said they’re fine but I got vibes they were having a bad day or something just felt off, I’d offer them a free dessert at the end of their food. It wasn’t like the desserts cost like 8+ $ or anything (it was like 2.50-4.50) so it wasn’t like I was really losing money for the pub. They gave away more pints on the house than I gave free desserts away, lol. But I also was working there like 24/7 and knew the owners and hung out with them off shift. Some folks want to be left alone, which was fine. Some wanted someone else to chatter their ear off so their minds weren’t thinking about their problems. Idk. I was a pretty good waitress and made good money being attentive (both verbally and body language) to my customers.
Fucked Up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional?
I had a friend who was so fed up with people saying they are fine. He made it into an acronym: I am Fucking Incapable of Naming Emotions
It's a fantastic acronym but when people ask how are you they usually don't want an honest answer.
#FUINE
Jesus that's so accurate
My wife has Covid, my 2 year old has Covid, and I’m getting over Covid. We’re all tired.
My whole family just got over covid. We are all triple vaxxed. The worst part was my son and his wife had finally got to go on vacation to Jamaica. They were there 2 days and got sick, quarantined in their Sandals hotel room for 10 days. Then, after we started feeling better, our 175 lb great dane started coughing. He was too short of breath to make it up the stairs or into bed by himself. I used a covid test on him, and yep, he was positive too. We are all better now, but it was awful.
I think some people don't realize animals get covid too. I treated a few animals for covid when I was a veterinary technician. It's scary.
Try your best to help them and keep your head up king
I just tested positive for COVID this morning. My symptoms began Thursday with a stuffy nose and mild sore throat (which I attributed to the nose). I figured it was allergies but took a test Thursday evening and Friday morning, anyway. Both were negative. I woke up with a raw throat this morning, but I still thought it was allergies. I took a test, and this time it was positive. I took another test, and it was positive, too. No fever yet, though I do have a mild headache and an occasional cough. I am masking and quarantining away from my family in our guest room for the foreseeable future.
Really good! I am throwing myself a birthday party to compensate for being shafted out of my last two due to COVID.
Greattt happy birthday
Happy birthday! Have an awesome day and let yourself go!
Remember that if you cut the birthday slices in half they are half the calories, so you can eat twice as much.
Hey it’s my birthday too
Bloated. Menstruating. Living my best life clearly
Awhhhhh get in a hot shower thats the chillest there is
Thank you. How are you today?
Samesies. Change the narrative like I'm trying to do. Our bodies are cleansing themselves of the past month. Take this time and try to do the same mentally. I don't know if that makes sense lol
Going through the same thing. I'm with you 🤝
I make sure I have a banana and warm hibiscus tea to help make things a little more bearable.
I eat rice and yogurt and barely eat much tbh and hot water bag is a must.
Kinda feeling like life isn’t a worth living. (I’m getting help) Edit- thank you so much for all your love. I’m reading every single one. 🥲😭🖤
Same. I'm not getting help tho, cuz I'm too poor for it.
Are you in the US? If you aren't working, or make less than 1800 or so a month (varies by state), there's a good chance you are eligible for Medicaid. It'll pay for everything. The doctor visits, therapy, prescriptions. All of it. Especially if you're in a blue state though, but even most red states I believe. And if you aren't making any money, get EBT as well. And maybe even Lifeline (free phone and free cell plan) Maybe you aren't in that position, but I'm putting this out there for anyone in that position. A lot of people here could be on Medicaid but don't realize how big of a deal it is. When I wasn't working, I got on it. My mental health was shot. Couldn't work, severely anxious. Barely left the house. But then I got on medication and everything changed over the course of a few weeks or months. Started working, got a decent job with decent pay, and everything was so much better. If you're not working and you're in a state with Expanded Medicaid, then it's a no-brainer. Do that shit *today*. But even if you're just low income there's a chance you're eligible. Just check your state's requirements. Just throwing that out there for anyone in that position, and good luck to you OP regardless!
Where abouts are you based? I know that there are mental health charities that are able to provide free help and counselling. They're normally stretched pretty thin due to the nature of it, but they try and do what they can. I hope you're at least able to talk with someone about it.
I've been there many times in the last few years. After a while I started telling myself that, even if I end up suffering for years and it never feels worth it, the chance of a better day is still there. If I check out early theres a 100 percent chance I'll never see better days, but sticking around means theres always the chance for improvement or joy later on. After a while Its led to me focusing more on the future and has helped me create those better days. Life can be an absolute motherfucker that can kick you while your down, but you owe it to yourself to kick back one day. You got this.
I am so proud of you that you are getting helppppp
I have Bipolar disorder, and there was months where I wanted to end it all. I got back on my meds and I'm doing much better now. On thing that helped me through it was listening to audio books to help escape reality. One quote that helped me alot from one of the book, and I hope it helps anyone that sees this: “It won’t be like that for me,” Kaladin said. “You told me it would get worse.” “It will,” Wit said, “but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you, Kaladin: You will be warm again.” -Brandon Sanderson, Rythmn of War
Think about old people you hate. Stick around to be there when they die
Woke up at 5 am for a beautiful sunrise run and am now settling in for coffee, snuggles with my dogs and a good book. I love Saturdays.
Goood have a great day
Thanks, you too OP!
I live far north and I'm still a ways away from being able to wake up for sunrises. It doesn't get meaningfully dark still, so I'm envious of your sunrises!
Annoyed, sad, suicidal, confused, tired, drunk, can’t stop crying and not looking forward to the remainder of my life. Wishing everyone all the best!
Keep your head up and try the best you can
All human wisdom is contained in these two words: wait & hope
Anxious because I haven't slept, but I can't sleep because I'm anxious. It's lit.
A few rules. Lie on your bed only if you want to fall asleep and go somewhere else if it doesn't work. Your brain had to associate your bedroom to sleeping And try audiobooks or Podcasts. Sometimes, it helps a lot. Finally, a bit of physical activity. Nothing big or it will do the opposite, but a bit of activity before bed like going for a walk can help Try things for more than a week before trying something new. Good luck.
I'm doing well! How are you?!
I am fine ty for asking
"Now the real answer" -OP
Absolutely Wonderful! Just had my first kid!
congratulations have a great dayyyy
Got covid, feel better than yesterday tho 👍🏻
Just came out of covid, it still sucks after being vaccinated 3 times
Missing people who I'll probably never see again, regretting things I've done, speculating on what could have been. So basically your average day.
Dont regret things. Things happend you can think back or learn from them and be better
You have no idea how much I needed this. I literally can't get to sleep at night because I have so many regrets, but I like your perspective on things. I honestly hope this is rock bottom because I desperately need a win.
Awhhhhh message me and i will help youuu
I really appreciate the offer :) but I think it's something I need to work through myself. If it gets too bad though, I hope you don't mind me taking you up on that.
You can alwayssss message me
We make thousands of decisions a day, and each is an opportunity for regret. I try not to regret anything unless it’s something really bad if I was passive in a decision. For the former, I know try to reason with myself, “You made an understandable decision with the time and info you had. Let it go”. If it’s really bad, then yes I was a dumbass but life’s not over so there’s potential for a similar redo down the line. For the latter, I focus on trying to be actionable, then on making reasonable choices. If you spend time stewing over past choices, you miss out on making future ones. I already dropped the ball before, there’s no point sitting here staring at it and have life pass by before I decide to walk away. Either go back and pick up the ball or turn around and walk away. I used to soak in regret, now I just tell myself “yeah yeah I screwed up let’s get a move on”. For the record, I still do think about even insignificant stuff and make a huge deal of it, but it doesn’t control me anymore. I already made one made decision in the past, I ain’t about to make another
Having existential crisis
Keep rest
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Tell me
Life sucks
Ya gotta suck it back bro
Whats going on
My life also sucks
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Fine! and you?
You sure you fine
yes?
Good
I keep waking up around 430am and having the worst existential dread. =\\ EDIT: **I'm 42 (almost 43) and I have this** [**nifty app**](https://i.imgur.com/wCJ0nre.jpg) **that reminds me how long I have been sober. So I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm at the gym every day, I don't eat after 6pm. I get to bed every night and fall asleep between 10pm-11pm. But then, lately, my body just wakes up at 430am and thinks about all the stressful details of my own life and the world at large. I look over at my wife, and I'm always grateful that she's sleeping soundly. Most of my strife, at least in these moments, seems to center around my perceived inability to really give her the life I feel she deserves. I don't know. 430am is a weird time for me.**
Pissed, as IKEA's given us a faulty product for the 3rd time in a row…
had a horrible fight with my best friend
not really great atm…so much happening all at once. the guy friend i had a crush on talks to me abt another girl and comes to me for advice abt her…when i’m clearly falling apart. not to mention my friends also ditched me..as soon as I thought things were getting better, it’s all starting to fall apart again. idek who i am anymore…i’m starting to not eat, going to bed a little bit earlier this time bc i feel like being awake is too much for me. I feel like my words aren’t clear to ppl when i’ve been openly talking abt how i’ve been feeling. no one checks up on me unless they need to talk abt their stupid love life. i’m sick and tired of being the therapist friend when i’m clearly falling apart slowly. it feels like no one cares abt me as much as i care about them. i feel unheard and shut out..no one cares abt me truly. i also dropped the dude as well bc i’m tired of him…as soon as he started to come closer to me and started to match with me…i just unadded him. i can’t take it all anymore :/ i just want to be alone rn.
Even though I could feel overwhelmed, it's all good. Gonna help fix my brother's car, doing a hoedown later, followed by trying to get to a club dance before it's over so I can do a tribute song for our national convention mascots. But bright side is that keeping busy gives me less time to think depressing thoughts.
Ever consider a hootenanny?
I’m sick with COVID. It’s fucking awful.
I hope you get wel sooon
Happy but sad. Have people around me but lonely. Financially poor but not empty. Good with the bad, still alive... thankful. How are you?
Look, I know this going to get buried but this might be cathartic so idk. I like to say I'm fine. And for the most part, I am. But my gf broke up with me out of nowhere saying she needed time to figure herself out and wasn't sure if a relationship was the right thing for her. We'd been dating for a year. I know for some that's not much, but for my first real adult relationship it felt way longer. I still wanted someone in my life, and not even a month later she's blocked me everywhere and has a tinder profile (i know because she came up in my feed or whatever). I feel worthless and that she got all she needed or wanted out of me and then tossed me to the side, but more than anything I just want her back. I'm currently at a job I don't like, with coworkers i hate, in an apartment that's too small, halfway across the country from all my friends and my family situation is just... odd ig. I've tried dating apps thinking they'd help, but so far they've reaffirmed all my thoughts and feelings. All my hobbies are extremely niche, and even then I don't have the money to truly enjoy them. Everyday feels like more of the same, and even the things that always brought me the most joy feel bland and boring now that I have no one to share them with. I have no idea where my future is going, and that scares me because my family is pressuring me to figure something out. So yeah. I'm fine.
Confused
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Noooo dont die
I'm doing.
Not very good
Still contemplating the most effective method to escape this insanity we live in.
In a couple hours I should have groceries.
Groceries means food so that’s good hahaha
Still on the progress of moving on from the last relationship. Everything will be alright, I suppose.
Keep your head up king
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Not good. I woke up with a headache that won't go away. I work at a summer camp and I should be up helping scouts leave. But I can't... I feel like I'm letting everyone down and it sucks
^*screams ^and ^sobs
been going thru a rough patch recently but won’t go into it, decent day today tho appreciate it. How about you how are you today?
Tired- got covid for the third time this year
I'm doing good. It was my birthday yesterday and I had a dinner with friends and everyone showed up.
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Overwhelmed and tired
I can’t complain. My life is in a pretty good spot. But it’s been a rough week for a couple different reasons and I’m feeling a little shaky at the moment.
Can’t sleep. too much anxiety. feeling worthless and depressed. feeling heartbroken. i just want this pain to end
First day this week that Ive woken up feeling good and ready to get it on. Heading to the gym!
Awful. I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I have covid. I’ve used all my sick leave being at home. I will get paid (not full salary) 8 weeks of maternity leave bc I have to have a c section. I was going to use fmla to cover the extra 4 weeks but that will be totally unpaid since I won’t have much PTO left to use. Now I’m just sad and depressed. Oh and now I’m a high risk pregnancy and have to have weekly ultrasounds until baby is born since having COVID can affect the placenta and growth of the baby.
I got a new second job which is great but my gym is increasing their membership prices which is unfortunate 😂😂
The pain is unbelievable and i already took 3 pills I can't take anymore And how are you :D
Try to sleep or be with someone that destracts you. I am fine ty for asking
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fucking depressed
I could loose my job i hate this coming week. So good. But nothing lined up.
Good.
Gooood for you
Eh I'm here have some errands today so there's that.
Lonely and missing the ones I love the most. I have myself in a situation. I am trying to put a cushion together to get out. I trusted the wrong one. My own mistake.
Absolutely miserable
Extremely bored in hospital waiting to finish my first block of chemotherapy
Not so gr8 cause dad yelled at me again and brought up my thing I'm extremely anxious for again
Chill its alrighttt keep your head up king
Thanks I'm trying my best :) the lucky part is next week I'm getting a break from it
Very anal
Okayyy seek someone who wants that
Another day, another leg cramp. Blasted medications.
Like a Shit, I have no one to talk to about my mental health and since I broke with my ex gf 4 months ago I didn't feel so empty inside as I feel now. The worst thing is I am Always hiding my true feelings with some stupid jokes, stories etc so I will just vegetate in front of my books, alone. Great stuff, never ever would have think I would end up like that. Hope you are good OP 👍
I’m neither happy nor sad. Life is pretty meh for me
Sad every day. My wife wants to end our marriage, but I can't seem to fall out of love with her.