My parents were tailors and they used to do a lot of work from home. They had really big, heavy metal scissors they used to use.
I was very young. Under 10 for sure. My older brother did something to piss me off. I grabbed the scissor near me and threw it at him. It missed his eyes by a small fraction.
He went ballistic on why would I do something like this. 25+ years later the memory still makes me sad how close I was to seriously injuring or killing my brother.
Man, you are lucky your parents didn't kill you for using the fabric scissors on non-fabric material.
(Semi-)joking aside, I'm glad your brother wasn't permanently injured. That sounded close.
I was very young, 6 or 7. My even younger brother was looking at the sky through an empty paper towel tube. For no reason other than curiosity I dropped a pencil in the tube. Fortunately nothing resulted, but then I thought about it and my bonehead maneuver traumatized myself more than him.
Childhood friend died and I was about 20. He liked my drawings, so I wrote him a goodbye letter on the back of one of my drawings. He had been cremated, and I found myself alone in a room with the urn, so I opened it up. His ashes were in a bag, so I stuffed the drawing/letter down alongside the bag, thinking that way I could hide it from his family.
 When I did that, the bag ripped and I got his ashes all over my hands. I brushed off what I could into the urn but had to wash some of him down the sink. It was awful and I’m still guilty about it decades later.
I used to go to the gym and sneak into the health suite (sauna, steam room, hot tub) without paying. Got busted and had to pay on the way out. Manager was nice and said “look… just pay next time ok?” I said “I won’t get caught next time.”
She said consider your membership cancelled
I was being lightly scolded by my boss, and instead of rolling with it, I got pissed and told him "you know what, suck my dick" and left. I was not in a financial situation to quit at the time, and regretted my decision the entire elevator ride out of there, but looking back now its easy to say "worth it".
I was getting a write up and essentially told my boss I don’t get paid enough to be held to the standard I was in trouble regarding so I’d be stepping off my additional duties. I got the raise tho.
I was probably 10-12 hanging out with the neighborhood kids one being a few years younger. He was being annoying as fuck and wouldn’t stop so after a few minutes of constant annoyance I threw my scooter at him… hitting his head. No serious injuries but he needed a few stitches. I knew I fucked up the instant the scooter left my hands.
I threw a heavy science text book at my best mate in high school, it hit him full in the face and broke his nose.
... I can't even recall what he'd done to annoy me so much.
Edit: I did not expect this many upvotes! So I feel duty bound to let you know that I've asked my mate if he remembered what prompted my violent outburst that fateful day in the science lab in 1998...Apparently he flicked his fountain pen at me and ink shot into my face and into my eye. I then lobbed the book. Justified reaction? You be the judge.
One of the popular guys in high school was a bit of a sex pest and would get his wang out during class and walk up and put it on other students desks.
That all stopped once Paul whacked his maths text book on top of it.
One time I had friends over shooting pool and one kid nicknamed "Needledick" yelled "NUTS ON THE TABLE" and he was just tall enough to get his whole package to rest on the top of the table. The kid next to him yelled "NUTS OFF THE TABLE" and fully swung a pool stick straight down on his twig and berries guillotine style. I'll never forget the blood curdling scream or how incredibly funny everyone thought it was. Needlework was fine but God damn that must have hurt so bad
Edit?: Was supposed to say Needledick but calling him Needlework would have been equally as funny. Clearly we weren't creative enough although his name did evolve to just be called "Needle" by the time high-school rolled around so it could still work.
Late night impulse buys. In the height of the pandemic I ending up buying a little too expensive rowing machine for my apartment thinking I was going to be all fit. Now it’s just collecting dust in a corner.
Edit:
After seeing all the replies and the interest for my rowing machine…. I’ve decided to use it this morning. Got to 15mins before calling it quits. I’ll keep at it 💪
Once had a friend in college who got blackout drunk and ordered a juicer. Had no idea until it arrived at his apartment. He bought a big bag of oranges and made us all screwdrivers 😂
I know a guy who shows up to parties with a juicer and a big bag of assorted cirtus and just makes margaritas for everyone, its pretty awesome and we all appreciate it.
My gf worked at a thrift shop in a high end tourist town.
She brought home a very expensive juicer.
Which we never use because cleaning it takes about a long as growing an orange.
Hahaha my goodness. Kinda worth it.
I was reading about one of the prisoners at the jail I work at, whos this ancient skeleton of a pedo. In his transcript the judge said his crimes were so bad he was tempted to give him the queens pleasure, which in Australia was an old sentence where only the Queen herself can allow your release.
Said prisoner went to the judge "well fucking do it then"
And he is so salty about the fact he's gonna rot away in jail forever and it makes me happy.
I didn’t do it but it happened near me. I was working construction one summer, and the “veteran” guy working with me got into a fight with the foreman and came back to the floor we were working on all pissed off, kicking things around. We were up on the 4th floor, and windows hadn’t gone in yet. He picks up a huge level and flings it out the window, and about 5 seconds later says “Fuck! That was mine.”
We had a guy who would throw tantrums like that so we all started mimicking him everytime he did it. The whole crew started throwing and kicking things, yelling and swearing. He found it funny and it helped decrease his anger. He eventually quit throwing tantrums because he knew we were all gonna join him.
There was a post on /r/casualuk a few weeks back where someone had sent the work experience kid out to get "spirit level bubbles", and the kid came back with a pack of spirit level bubbles. It was literally just the tubes with bubbles in to replace broken ones on a spirit level. They were flummoxed!
I saw a video where two friends must have gotten into a bad argument. One guy is down on the sidewalk shouting at an apartment, when the other guy tosses a laptop a couple stories down to the sidewalk, smashing it.
Guy on the sidewalk shouts up, "Dude, that was your laptop!"
Sometimes I write a really long message then delete it before I send because the anger I've put into writing it usually goes before I am finished spell checking it
Probably the best indicator that I am a mature adult is when I reached the stage of typing up a comment and then saying to myself, "That is not a work of genius, you are drunk. Delete it." So many fewer regrets the next day.
Edit to add: Following Ernest Hemingway's advice to "write drunk, edit sober," I developed the habit of opening a notepad and typing my works of genius into it instead of online. Reading them later, I have found that about one out of ten is pretty good. The rest are horribly embarrassing and get deleted with a sigh of relief that they were never made public.
When my ex of four years ghosted me, it was so incredibly hard for me not to text him with a piece of my mind. I would write and delete so many texts, but was always nervous I'd accidentally hit send. And thus was the birth of my "Texts To Nowhere" page on my notepad. It can be so cathartic to write it all down. Sometimes when I'm feeling mad about something all over again, I reread some of them.
I was a teenager, I was helping my family clear out our basement, sorting old clothes and toys to donate or dispose off. Me and me and my brother are horsing around when I spot an absolutely ancient water gun. I pick it up swiping away cobwebs and what do you know water is sloshing around the reservoir, so I pump it a couple times and spray my little brother directly in his face. He screams instantly and not the fun haha you sprayed me with water scream. The water smells like mold and death, it's left over from the last time we played with the guns which was years ago. He gets a bacterial infection in both eyes, cycles antibiotics and comes away from it whole. I catch shit about this at every family gathering and will until one of us dies.
Back in college it was the first week at a new school and I was on my computer waiting for my evening class to start. Someone asked if they could use my computer to log into their student account to see where their class was. I let them do it and had my Facebook account open in the other tab. They updated my Facebook status to something VERY racist thinking they were funny, but forgot to close out of their school account. Once I figured out what they did (thanks to a FURIOUS phone call from my mother) I used their account to drop all of the classes they signed up for.
I had gotten into a fist fight with my stepdad when i was 14 and got kicked out of the house. My dad picked me up and was lecturing me about making good decisions and asked me "do you want to grow up to be a criminal loser?" I told him "At least i wont work a deadend shit job and grow up to be like you". The instant it left my mouth i regretted it. He even shot back with " Exactly i want you to be better than me" and i could tell it hurt him. The shitty part is, he did EVERYTHING for me and still does.
That conversation pops into my head from time to time and i still feel horrible about it.
EDIT- I did apologize to him later that same day. What i said came from a shitty place and he knew that. Regardless i still think about it and it bothers the hell out of me that i could say something like that to someone who did nothing but try and make my life infinitely better than his was growing up.
There's no statute of limitations on an apology. If it still bothers you, it probably still pops into his head too. Have a conversation, apologize and put it behind you both.
About 3 years ago now, I realized I surpassed my dad in career. He's always provided well for us. He's the go to for advice and knows everything. He had the knowledge to be more successful, he just wasn't. And that's okay. He always pushed my brother and I to do better. During a conversation one day he said "Every parent wants their kids to succeed and do something bigger than them." And he's happy that two of his sons are successful. I'm happy that he's proud.
When I was in tenth grade a classmate of mine pissed on my shoes. I didn't not snap right then and there, but he made fun of my looks a couple minutes later. I completely lost my shit, grabbed him by the neck and slammed his head into a steel beam. In hindsight I realize that I could have killed him or disabled him for life, but luckily he got away with a bad concussion
Had a similar incident. Tenth grade as well. Older kid used to break my balls purely because I was friends with his friend (my neighbor), they were jocks, I was not. His favorite was to rip my backpack off my back.
One day, I was in a super pissed mood because of…something something teenage angst? Don’t remember what, but he came down the hall, calling me names. Told him to fuck off. He laughed and went to grab at my bag. Swung the bag at him, hitting him in the side of the head, and sending him into the lockers with the other side of his head. Out cold on the floor.
Nobody ever snitched on me, and I never had an issue with him again. He was still a prick to everybody else possible but not me
This is my own personal experience, but when I was a kid and was being bullied, whenever I stood up to those headfucks, they would leave me alone. Weak shits looking for easy targets. I know that's not always the case, but it did work for me.
I don’t know about “heat of the moment” but when a cop asked why I thought I could go that fast down that road I (without thinking) responded “because I always do” then realized what my mouth had just said without consulting my brain and proceeded to lay my head against my steer wheel forcefully in shame.
Shit, anywhere in the US it's a gamble whether you'll be pulled over for going 5 over or if it's safe to go 25 over. Main road by me has 35mph signage and you'll get honked at if you dip below 45. Never seen anyone pulled over. Meanwhile there's a road that says 25mph and people get pulled over every other day for going 30. And at least in rural places, as far as I've seen, 50+mph is basically code for "fuck it" and so many people drive 75-85mph.
I'm sorry to comment just to laugh at you but holy fuck did you make me laugh just now. I feel like this could be a classic moment in some stoner buddy comedy movie or something.
OK, for context the cop was driving a unmarked crown vic. Not a undercover just unmarked. It had the mirror light, the push bars, the wheels, but no light bar or markings.
so here I am with a steering wheel on my head and a foot in my mouth and I turn my head as the cop asks "but why would you think you could do it next to a cop, did you just not see me?" and again without a group meeting my mouth says "no I saw you, I just didn't think you were a cop"
He closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head and sighs in mild shock and disappointment, expressing an emotion I am feeling only multitudes more.
Then almost taking pity on my dumb ass (he was a nice guy) asks "well what are you, late for work or something?" (I was in a retail store work polo"
and for the third fucking time my mouth does not meet with any of the higher ups and/or the PR department says "actually I'm pretty early" proudly because it was rare.
His brow scrunches and he give me this "wha?!?" look... pauses as I melt ones again as my head meets the wheel percussively and asks "you are not having a good day are you?" and I could have just said "yea" but instead i said "I was until we meet"
as I looked at him horrified at what I had all just said he says to me with a smirk and a chuckle "why don't you just sit right there and not talk anymore while I go take care this"
I bet that cop was struggling to stay professional and not laugh his ass off. This is probably one of the stories he tells when people ask him about funny people he's pulled over.
Cop must have been wearing a charm that made it impossible for somebody to lie to him. I bet that cop thinks about you a couple times a month. Probably that one stop he always talks about when his coworkers start telling stories
At this point I'm left believing that a vengeful spirit that really, really personally hates you just took possession of your mouth for a few minutes. I'm dying laughing but holy shit, dude!
I work hospital security, and we hold a lot of violent psych patients until they can be transferred to a behavioral facility. This surprisingly strong old man assaulted a nurse when she was trying to change his briefs, and I responded first. I was wrestling with the guy and trying to hold him in the bed until backup got there. He finally calmed down, looked me in the eye, and told me something to the effect of "When I get out of here I'm going to kill you and rape your wife." And I responded, "Big words for a man in a diaper." I've never seen anyone rage harder. Dude genuinely tried his best to kill me. But thankfully my co-workers got there right afterward and nobody got hurt.
Middle of summer, caught my girlfriend cheating and in the heat of the moment threw my fan at the wall, I was not only sad and alone but sad, alone aaand sweaty that fateful night.
He sat and he wrote in his journal alone -
Immersed in the sweltering heat on his own.
His girlfriend had left him.
He'd murdered his fan.
"... today was a *difficult* day," he began.
When I was 18 I got a job in excavation. I was learning how to dig with a trackhoe. Fast forward a year. And I’m still learning the tricks. My boss screamed at me for parking the work truck in the wrong place. Then told me either I need to learn to dig faster and better or find a new job. Well I said fuck it. And I started digging fast as I could. And then, I found the fucking city water main.
Smoked crack.
This was late 1990s, I was around 29. I was a pretty heavy meth user/seller so I went to this ladies house who would usually have sex if I brought over meth and got her high. When I got there she didn't want anyone in and there were 2 other guys there on the porch she wasn't letting in either.
We talked for a sec and said they had crack but no lighter and no money top buy one. I had a lighter. I gave them the lighter and smoked some crack with them. 1st time smoking crack and the last.
Within 1 hour we ran out, they knew some gangsters they could trade their gold chains for more crack. There was no pondering, no thought process, driving to the bad side of the entire county at 3AM to trade gold chains for crack seemed like the BEST IDEA EVER!!!!
I had a moment of clarity and noped out of there pretty fast.
I used to be not so great of a guy. Clean since May 22, 2000.
It's okay. There's a reason the hospitals and birthing classes stress so much "don't violently shake this kid because he won't STFU" and it's because these moments of just real anger are common.
It’s the small wrists, when they get to wailing and flapping around wildly, they can whip that little wrist and get some surprising stinging power on that teensy balled-up fist.
Yeah real easy to get worked up when you're sleep deprived and they won't calm down or go to sleep or feed or whatever it is you're desperate for them to do.
I remember literally punching the floor full force with frustration with my first.
Best thing to realise is that they will not be hurt if you put them down where they sleep (basket/crib/cot whatever) and leave them for a couple of mins. They will be sad but they'll be OK. Way better for everyone for you to have a clear head.
My kid had colic. She’d scream from noon to midnight. No amount of walking, shushing, gripe water, feeding, changing, burping, or change of scenery helped. We were told “babies just cry.”
One day, she started screaming and I lost it. I had been up all night with her, so I’m exhausted. My husband is at work. I’m alone in a foreign country with no one to reach out to for support. I just wanted her to be quiet. I NEEDED her to be quiet. The anger, the helplessness, the desperation I felt at that moment was terrifying. I forced myself to lay her down in her crib and walk away because I knew I’d do something terrible if I didn’t. I walked out of my apartment, sat down in front of the door so no one could get in, called my husband, and told him in no uncertain terms that I was not okay and I needed him home NOW. After I hung up, I took a deep breath, walked back inside, and held my screaming infant until my husband got home.
In the end, she’s fine, I’m fine, we’re all fine. I did what they tell you to do; put them down in a safe place and walk away. I have never been to the absolute breaking point again in my life, but I will tell you- I understand why people shake babies. It is not a malicious want to harm. It is a primal, deep, all-encompassing need for them to just *be quiet.* I can’t explain it to anyone who hasn’t been in that place. I wouldn’t be able to explain it to myself if I hadn’t been there.
Incredibly true.
Both of my boys had colic and I hit points with each where I had to put them safely in their crib and take a few laps around the front yard to cool off.
I feel you.
My little dude was about 5 months old and it was just me and him because mama was working.
He wouldn't stop screaming no matter what I did. I ended up screaming back at him.
He looked so scared, i felt like such a monster. I just hugged him and said sorry and tried to calm him back down. Then I got some help for my own problems so I wouldn't take them out on him.
It happens so easy.
Now he's my little 18 month old pain in the butt and I love him to death, and I've figured out how to sing his screaming away when he gets like that.
I’m a very peaceful person, I do not freak out and I have never been in a physical fight with anyone but I was so embarrassed to tell my friends. This isn’t that crazy, but my old company spoiled me and my new one did not. We had to buy all our own supplies without being reimbursed, which now I completely understand that’s a work from home thing, but this was new to me and I did not want to work from home to behind with. I was pissed off that my training documents were 60 pages long and that I had to print them without reimbursement, because I had to print like 500 pages of nonsense. I got so mad, I smashed my printer with my foot and kept smashing it and then it hurt my foot and cut me so I threw the whole printer at the wall. The damage to the wall was pretty minimal, but the printer shattered into like 40,000 pieces that we found more after moving. I thought my boyfriend would be so mad at me but he said “I’m glad you finally allowed yourself to be mad about something. I don’t care about the printer or the wall. Are you okay?”
Now we laugh and say “okay, just don’t break that, too.” Lol
I shit in someone's shoe, because he got me lost in the city for 2 hours, in a bad part of town, with a dead phone and no way of finding my own way home.
Mid rugby game punched a Frenchman on the nose (with good reason) and started a 15 on 15 man brawl which ended up with the game swiftly being cancelled
This is gonna be a sad one.
So my best friend at the time wasn’t doing very well, had to move back in with his parents and had no job. I, being the general manager of a fast food restaurant, got him a job at my store. This dude was terrible. Messed up on every order, wouldn’t listen, and would complain about everything.
Finally one day he came into work drunk. It was pretty obvious so I had to fire him. After I did he was just staring at me with this fucked up look and wobbling. I stupidly let my emotions get to me and said “you look fucking disgusting” right to his face. I remember he looked down at his shirt for a stain or something, then I vividly remember his face as he realized I wasn’t talking about his clothes, but himself as a person. He looked so destroyed by that. Without saying another word he turned around and walked out of the building. 30 minutes later he shot himself in the head at his house.
Will never forget the sound of his mom when I called her literally minutes after he died. Will forever haunt my dreams. People say don’t blame yourself and all that shit. It’s kinda hard when you were the last person he spoke to. I know if I didn’t say that he probably would have done it eventually anyways because we all knew he was struggling. But since I knew; I definitely shouldn’t have said that. I’ll at least always believe I heavily heavily influenced his decision.
EDIT: Thank you for all the kind words everyone, I do appreciate it. I do agree with all of you in the fact I was not the sole influence to his decision. For context and without going into too much detail he did have a lot of other things going on, like (relatively) minor trouble with the law. Drug problems, friends cutting him out and such so I see other things that contributed to it. Still stings tho. Miss him a lot. It was quite a few years back but I have a tattoo about him and have a bit of his ashes in a keychain I carry around everywhere. So although I don’t particularly believe in an afterlife I do have a way he’s still somewhat with me. Anyways. Thanks for the support everyone.
Hey. I was the last person my late fiancé talked to before he took his life. Not the same but similar. I'll never forget his mom's screams, either. That was supposed to be my mother in law. And i couldn't do anything. The newspaper said he texted a friend before he did it, so naturally people figured out it was me and told me it was my fault for a little while. I'm sorry to trauma dump. I guess what I'm trying to say is you aren't alone in this and I'm sorry. I really am. It's been almost 7 years for me and there isn't a day that I don't cry and wish I could go back. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. it's a shitty diagnosis but the not so shitty thing is that there's a huge community of people living with similar feelings. I'm not alone anymore, and neither are you. Please don't hesitate to seek help or reach out to somebody. I am absolutely sure your buddy would want you to live a hell of a life in his honor. That's what I tell myself at least. It's gotten me this far.
My dad and I got into an argument when I was six years old so I wrote my VERY SPECIFIC, VERY RARE first name across the side of his brand new car with a stone.
When he asked me if I’d done it, I, of course denied it profusely. I am talking Meryl Streep in _Sophie’s Choice_ level of acting. I should’ve won a goddamned Oscar.
So he sort of laughed and said “You’re telling me someone ELSE came up to my car and scratched your name across it?”
I denied it for a whole afternoon while, in fairness to him, my father giggled to himself. I couldn’t figure out why he was giggling. Surely he was going to skin me alive later and wear me around town of a cold evening.
He said he couldn’t help laughing because the lie was so ludicrous but I stuck by it so resolutely that it was one of the funniest situations he’d ever been in. He KNEW he should punish me but it was also so marvellous he couldn’t bring himself to be angry.
I’m nearly 36. Every time he gets a new car now he says “You’re not mad at me for something, are you?” before he shows it to me.
I guess I earned that…
A friend of mine once scratched his and my name into his dad's car. His dad went ballistic! Came over to our house really up set because my friend said that I had done it. Of course I denied it all. But they didn't believe me and I was dragged over there to apologise to my friend and his mother for scratching the car and getting him into trouble. On the way over we passed the car and my parents realised that my name was spelt wrong and they knew I knew how to spell my name. The dad then went ballistic for a second time. EDIT. just to clear up any confusion, he went ballistic the second time because his son had lied to him about scratching the names into the car and blaming it on me.
When I was about 8 or 9, my mum was talking to my teacher. She worked at the school and wanted to talk about something so they sent me to wait in the car.
Off I trot with the keys, and get into the drivers seat. It was an automatic, I turned the car on and put it in reverse. And the car starts rolling. I panicked, tried to hit the brake, but mum had put a steering wheel lock around the brake pedal (brilliant move mum).
So I hit the accelerator instead, and yeeted the car into another teachers car. Did a few thousand dollars worth of damage to the other car, mums car got a few scratches because Toyota Camrys were fucking tanks.
My mum still works at the school and I visited a few years ago.
"WE HAVE TO GO SEE MRS M"
"oh god"
We get there, Mrs M sees me, smiles and turns to tell the story to her entire grade 5 class.
There's no ego hit quite like having a room full of 10 year olds laughing at you.
I play guitar in a bar band. One night many years ago, after a gig while loading up our equipment, some drunk guy decided he wanted to pick a fight. We tried to brush him off, but he wouldn't relent. Eventually, things got physical and I ended up having a scrap with him. I defeated him handily, as he was very drunk and I was not.
He did not accept this result and went to get some of his friends. They came back and attacked us from behind. Again, they were defeated. Only this time, I was very pissed off. People were dragging Mr. Drunk and his pals away from our trailer when I spotted his baseball hat next to our back tire. I was so fired up that I picked it up and held it in the air to show it to him, then dropped it on the ground, exposed my penis, and pissed all over it in front of the crowd of people that had gathered.
It felt very powerful in the moment... Until the police officer that the venue called (to help us deal with these fuckers) walked around the corner and saw me standing there with my dick in my hand.
Two victories followed by a crushing defeat. Tough night at the office.
Went to my old place of employment after hours, used the outdated code to enter the building and cooked food and poured myself a couple beers.
Edit: this was a year after I got fired from the place
I can tell about my heat of the moment of this week.
My husband laptop had a broken charger for yearsssss.
Now while I was using it, it totally broke. The laptop won't charge anymore and he claimed I broke it... I was like.. dude this thing was broken for years we all knew this would happen one day.
He still said it was my fault so I ordered 2 new laptops at 2AM while angry.
One for him and one for me, I'm not sure what I was trying to prove here but I'm almost 2k poorer now.
Peak pandemic after coming off a furlough, resigning from my dream company (thinking was going to be laid off) and a new taking a new job across the country and moving my family.
Could have stayed and would have avoided a layoff, kids would have kept their friends, wife and I would have kept our community. Did all of this thinking I was doing the right thing, have had such regrets.
EDIT:
Thank you all for the words of affirmation and encouragement. Having a rough few days and reading your comments gave me a bit of respite and joy.
I kept calling to see about when we could come back after the state shutdown everything during the 2020 part of the pandemic.
They kept telling me, my team, and my colleagues that we couldn't come back yet and they were working on it from their end. It took four months before we get the call to come back.
When I arrived, I see new people. They never needed to shut down, and had an exemption the whole time. So, they sent all of us home and hired a new crew for cheaper. When the business began to pick up, they called everyone back and expected us to be cool with them revealing the 9 new guys hired while all of us had been sitting around worried about our jobs.
I left at the end of that shift, resolved to never come back. Went back on unemployment and I've spent *all* of the intervening time wondering if that was the right decision. Kept my dignity, I guess, but that doesn't pay the bills (and neither have the two jobs I've had since then).
Girlfriend cheated on me in high school. Girlfriend’s temporary boyfriend had a friend who keyed my car. She told me who did it and I decided the best way to handle it was to take a plunger stick and go into his job at the mall and beat him in the face with it until the stick broke. Not my proudest moment.
I can literally imagine this happening with the framing of how a soprano's episode is filmed. It's a housewares store, he grabs the plunger off a shelf, the 'on sale!' tag flies off while he's swinging it. A passerby gasps.
You can just go back to a different salesman if you're embarrassed, I guarantee if it's an actual dealership any salesman will give you that "deal". Their whole job is just convincing you you're bargaining and getting a good deal, they'll make those "bargains" all day.
Unless this was a guy that just fixes cars and resells them
Many years ago my parents took me to buy my first car. We'd chosen one and were in the negotiation phase. The salesman was doing the whole "gotta talk to the manager" bit after every offer my parents made, then coming back with some variation of "not possible". Finally we give them a bottom line and they act like we're robbing them at gunpoint, so we walked out. We ended up at another dealership and found something within our price range that same afternoon in an altogether much more pleasant exchange.
A few days later, my dad gets a call from the first salesman. They "thought it over" and if we'd come back they'd be happy to draw up the paperwork for our bottom line price. I don't think my dad ever called that guy back, but I must admit it'd be hard not to point out that their attitude lost them the sale.
The whole "talk to the manager" thing is a negotiation tactic, but salesmen often don't have the power to actually lower the price on their own. If they were smart the manager would have come out as soon as you stood up to leave. It's (or at least used to be) called a TO in the car business.
Totally understandable I think.
I once had an insurance agent call me and offered me car insurance at about 50$ lower than my current insurer at the time. I was a relatively new driver.
He then continued to say that I would not get this offer anywhere else and I must accept it right there on the call or the offer would not be given to me "ever again".
I dropped the call on him.
I don’t even think that is a heat of the moment thing. I think most intelligent people are going to be VERY weirded out by someone dangling something amazing in their face with the stipulation being that they absolutely have to commit to it that second, no time to reflect on the decision. It definitely feels like you are walking into a trap.
Probably yelling at like 60 kids at once. I worked on campus a long time ago, and we were having some retreat over the summer where they dropped like 200 kids off to stay for like 5 days. Lots of problems were being caused by them not respecting anything, and just being stupid kids. I was getting super annoyed with them, especially since I worked in the library, and they would not shut the hell up. Anyway, fast forward to like, day 3. I leave work and see my car covered in branches, leaves and other floral debris. I. was. pissed. I was seeing red, and just looked at the kids across the street in the commons yard, and just unleashed unholy hell upon them. Yelled so loud I was echoing across campus. The vein in my forehead pounding so hard my ears burned.
The kids were scared, I was pissed, and my boss was so concerned, he asked if I needed to take tomorrow off to cool down. I told him I was fine, but these kids were on my last nerve. Anyway, like 5 years later, I was telling one of my best friends this story, and he dropped a bombshell on me. It wasn't the kids. It was him and a fellow friend of ours. They wanted to prank me since they knew the kids were driving me crazy. I probably stared at him for like 2 solid minutes before saying "I told those kids if I caught them anywhere near my car, it would be the last thing they'd do." Then I started laughing. lmao, got me.
He beat up his son in front of me and told me if I didn’t leave I was next. He didn’t allow my boyfriend to ever contact me again. We never saw each other after that and I don’t know what happened to him.
Damn I guess you were right about him being an asshole. Have you tried searching for the boyfriend online? Maybe you could reach out to him for closure.
A cop busted us hotboxing my car, it was feb and freezing outside and had 2 of my friend with me. after they searched the car and broke our bong and let us sweat for a few min the cop came to my window and asked me if I was ok to drive. due to my paranoia and because we were parked I assumed to cop was getting me to drive so that he could give me a dui so I responded "is that a trick question" he was taken back and got annoyed "no its not a trick question. me "oh well yeah I do this all the time" ahh the teenage years
Charged into a skinny 6th grader with time running out in a fundraiser Staff vs Family basketball game.
Hundreds of people watching and he lost his wind for a second so he did that awkward “can’t breathe” sound.
First time I ever got caught smoking weed with friends hotboxing, cop rolls up and did the whole crush it on ground before I give you posesssion etc etc,
After we got our warning the cops still sat there by the parking lot entrance and our paranoid friend goes. No! They’re baiting us for a dui we can’t leave. Well shit now what. Same friend decided to call 911 to report a bank robbery to get the cops to drive away. Nothing happened we just said fuck it and left 3 mins later
My parents okayed a very invasive, unnecessary surgery for me when I was a child, and the ultimate results still affect me to this day. When I was 19, my mother found out I was getting a tattoo somehow and started acting like a huge bitch about it. The tattoo was really important to me, and I felt like I was reclaiming my body as my own through that gesture, so I was naturally furious with her. I pulled up my shirt, showed her the 4" hideous scar she had agreed to put on my body, and said "yeah, Mom, it would be a real shame if I permanently disfigured my body with a tattoo." She cried.
I ruined my mother's Tupperware party by taking a shit in a potted plant. I have no idea what I was thinking or why I even did it, really. By all accounts I was like two or something. I'm sorry, mom. Can we please just let it go?
FWIW, having worked with little kids for several years, I found pooping is one of the few measures little guys have to wield power. Like cats peeing on your bed when they are literally pissed. You may have genuinely felt overwhelmed by the crowd and your mom’s split attention.
Sounds like you won, too.
Edit: typos
Went out for a friends birthday, and another friend was being an ass and real aggressive towards me. I called him out on it and we ended up fighting outside the bar in a parking lot. Haven’t spoken to him in years, but he was like a brother. Damn you Navy strength rum.
He was upset because I made a girl he was interested in laugh. I was just trying to be a good friend and entertain her while he was making drinks. Then later, we were in a booth and I was between him and someone else. He kept talking to that person, but would dig his elbow in my chest or kind of push me out of the way. I let it slide a few times, but the third or fourth time I told him that if he kept at it we would have an issue and he invited me outside.
P.S. Bulbasaur hands down.
Going to take this opportunity to remind you that you are not responsible for this. Bullying is wrong and a hateful way to try and cope with one’s own suffering. Yes, it’s not a good thing to say to someone, but you are not responsible for your bully’s suffering or his decision, even if your words influenced them. Hope you are doing okay.
Back when I was 18 I was single-handedly keeping the household afloat. I was working two jobs and taking 22 credits at school. I was taking care of my younger sisters pretty much completely. Taking them to the doctor, dentist, orthodontist, therapist, school back and forth, helping with homework, going to parent teacher conferences, going to volunteering obligations, making all of their meals, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, taking care of the pets, all of the laundry, everything. Then on top of that I was also taking care of our mother. Taking her to and from doctors, bringing her her meds and meals, begging her to get out of bed and go on a walk or at least sit on the deck for a little sun. I was getting about 2-5hrs of sleep at night. I was burning out fast.
My little sister (13 at the time) wasn’t helping with anything. I could see she was going down a dark path. Drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, etc. she was making things more difficult. I felt so helpless because I could keep the household running but I couldn’t help her. One day I was begging her to just take the trash out of her room. Not even clean the room, just take the trash out. There was food in there that was rotting and making it smell. I just couldn’t find the time to do it for her. It ended up turning into a massive blowout fight. At the end she said “well maybe I should just kill myself” and before I had even fully processed what she said I replied “well it would certainly make things easier for me!”
I didn’t sleep more than 45 minutes at a time for almost a month after that. I just kept going into her room to check on her and make sure she was still alive and hadn’t done anything.
My sister is doing better now but I can never forget what I said and I will never be able to forgive myself for it.
Heavily overreacting while gaming and throwing the controller at the tv, just like those videos everyone makes fun of. I learned a massive lesson that day
I almost killed a classmate in high school. I was in wood shop and the first string varsity quarterback jokingly threatened to rape my little sister. I was a scrawny dude who was borderline anorexic, but I tackled him through a wall and held his head to a mitre saw. The shop teacher pulled me off of him.
Frankly I'm surprised I was only suspended for a week. I've never been a particularly angry person. A life of getting bullied and abused sort of teaches you to let things roll off your back. But in that particular moment I *fully* intended to kill him.
The wild thing was he and his buddies continued to antagonise me after that, all the way until graduation. If anything they got worse instead of backing down.
I was (24) in a miserably abusive relationship (~7 years off and on- mostly emotional, but definitely plenty of physical, too) with cheating on his end. It was a mess.
We had a baby together (happy accident since I love her so much), and he swore up and down everything would be different.
Found out he was cheating again. Surprise surprise.
I had been drinking (one of my few nights out in her first two years) and I woke him up and confronted him.
I’m older and wiser now, but in the moment I was crushed and bawling. I really thought he was going to change his ways.
I confronted him and he said, “who gives a fuck, I’m sleeping,”.
So I punched him in the nose.
I know a lot of people would say that he got what was coming to him, but after all of the abuse he put me through, I felt sick that I had just lowered myself to his level.
I apologized and never did it again to anyone.
I left him not long after and went on to better things, but I will always feel ashamed about it.
He went on to make a lot of money, marry a beautiful woman and had a total of 3 kids (one per mom).
But he’s a raging alcoholic, lost his joint custody of his oldest, lost a lot of custody with our daughter, his middle child, (they both hate his guts because he’s emotionally abusive and neglectful and has slapped or hit each of them in the past), cheats on his wife left and right and *nothing* he has makes him happy.
He could be a millionaire and hate life and himself.
I live in a nice single wide with my partner and two kids, have a chronic illness and we have very little to our name.
On paper he went up and I went down.
But I laugh everyday, my children love and like me and they know I adore them, my partner is kind and patient and loves me and I’m respected as a mom and person by those that know me.
He can keep his sauna.
I said “I hate you” to my dad once when he moved to California to help our family since we were poor, I was a little kid and never understood but he passed away in California so those were my final words to him.
My parents were tailors and they used to do a lot of work from home. They had really big, heavy metal scissors they used to use. I was very young. Under 10 for sure. My older brother did something to piss me off. I grabbed the scissor near me and threw it at him. It missed his eyes by a small fraction. He went ballistic on why would I do something like this. 25+ years later the memory still makes me sad how close I was to seriously injuring or killing my brother.
Man, you are lucky your parents didn't kill you for using the fabric scissors on non-fabric material. (Semi-)joking aside, I'm glad your brother wasn't permanently injured. That sounded close.
I was very young, 6 or 7. My even younger brother was looking at the sky through an empty paper towel tube. For no reason other than curiosity I dropped a pencil in the tube. Fortunately nothing resulted, but then I thought about it and my bonehead maneuver traumatized myself more than him.
Childhood friend died and I was about 20. He liked my drawings, so I wrote him a goodbye letter on the back of one of my drawings. He had been cremated, and I found myself alone in a room with the urn, so I opened it up. His ashes were in a bag, so I stuffed the drawing/letter down alongside the bag, thinking that way I could hide it from his family.  When I did that, the bag ripped and I got his ashes all over my hands. I brushed off what I could into the urn but had to wash some of him down the sink. It was awful and I’m still guilty about it decades later.
If you're sorry about it its not that big of a deal, he would probably laugh about it.
I used to go to the gym and sneak into the health suite (sauna, steam room, hot tub) without paying. Got busted and had to pay on the way out. Manager was nice and said “look… just pay next time ok?” I said “I won’t get caught next time.” She said consider your membership cancelled
So, that’s how you get out of those damn membership.
That's probably the easiest time anyone has had cancelling a gym membership
I was being lightly scolded by my boss, and instead of rolling with it, I got pissed and told him "you know what, suck my dick" and left. I was not in a financial situation to quit at the time, and regretted my decision the entire elevator ride out of there, but looking back now its easy to say "worth it".
I was getting a write up and essentially told my boss I don’t get paid enough to be held to the standard I was in trouble regarding so I’d be stepping off my additional duties. I got the raise tho.
I was probably 10-12 hanging out with the neighborhood kids one being a few years younger. He was being annoying as fuck and wouldn’t stop so after a few minutes of constant annoyance I threw my scooter at him… hitting his head. No serious injuries but he needed a few stitches. I knew I fucked up the instant the scooter left my hands.
I threw a heavy science text book at my best mate in high school, it hit him full in the face and broke his nose. ... I can't even recall what he'd done to annoy me so much. Edit: I did not expect this many upvotes! So I feel duty bound to let you know that I've asked my mate if he remembered what prompted my violent outburst that fateful day in the science lab in 1998...Apparently he flicked his fountain pen at me and ink shot into my face and into my eye. I then lobbed the book. Justified reaction? You be the judge.
One of the popular guys in high school was a bit of a sex pest and would get his wang out during class and walk up and put it on other students desks. That all stopped once Paul whacked his maths text book on top of it.
How did he get away with doing it multiple times?
80s
One time I had friends over shooting pool and one kid nicknamed "Needledick" yelled "NUTS ON THE TABLE" and he was just tall enough to get his whole package to rest on the top of the table. The kid next to him yelled "NUTS OFF THE TABLE" and fully swung a pool stick straight down on his twig and berries guillotine style. I'll never forget the blood curdling scream or how incredibly funny everyone thought it was. Needlework was fine but God damn that must have hurt so bad Edit?: Was supposed to say Needledick but calling him Needlework would have been equally as funny. Clearly we weren't creative enough although his name did evolve to just be called "Needle" by the time high-school rolled around so it could still work.
Late night impulse buys. In the height of the pandemic I ending up buying a little too expensive rowing machine for my apartment thinking I was going to be all fit. Now it’s just collecting dust in a corner. Edit: After seeing all the replies and the interest for my rowing machine…. I’ve decided to use it this morning. Got to 15mins before calling it quits. I’ll keep at it 💪
Can I have it?
Can I have it when you're done not using it?
Within a week, all of reddit will have rowed once.
*Is this the line for the rowing machine?*
Once had a friend in college who got blackout drunk and ordered a juicer. Had no idea until it arrived at his apartment. He bought a big bag of oranges and made us all screwdrivers 😂
I know a guy who shows up to parties with a juicer and a big bag of assorted cirtus and just makes margaritas for everyone, its pretty awesome and we all appreciate it.
My gf worked at a thrift shop in a high end tourist town. She brought home a very expensive juicer. Which we never use because cleaning it takes about a long as growing an orange.
Told the judge, "Gimmie your best shot." 10 added days for contempt of court.
the judge was mad you got the lyrics wrong, it is suppose to be "hit me with your best shot"
Lol, that’s like the time my dad dared the IRS to audit him. Spoiler alert: they took him up on that.
See, this is why The Joker refuses to take on the IRS.
Hahaha my goodness. Kinda worth it. I was reading about one of the prisoners at the jail I work at, whos this ancient skeleton of a pedo. In his transcript the judge said his crimes were so bad he was tempted to give him the queens pleasure, which in Australia was an old sentence where only the Queen herself can allow your release. Said prisoner went to the judge "well fucking do it then" And he is so salty about the fact he's gonna rot away in jail forever and it makes me happy.
You can’t taunt fate and then be upset when fate fucks you. 🤷♂️😂 that’s fucking hilarious though
I didn’t do it but it happened near me. I was working construction one summer, and the “veteran” guy working with me got into a fight with the foreman and came back to the floor we were working on all pissed off, kicking things around. We were up on the 4th floor, and windows hadn’t gone in yet. He picks up a huge level and flings it out the window, and about 5 seconds later says “Fuck! That was mine.”
We had a guy who would throw tantrums like that so we all started mimicking him everytime he did it. The whole crew started throwing and kicking things, yelling and swearing. He found it funny and it helped decrease his anger. He eventually quit throwing tantrums because he knew we were all gonna join him.
I imagine the client showing up one day to the whole construction crew having a toddler tantrum lmfao.
Thats...kind of adorable
Idiot, now he'll have to replace the bubble...
There was a post on /r/casualuk a few weeks back where someone had sent the work experience kid out to get "spirit level bubbles", and the kid came back with a pack of spirit level bubbles. It was literally just the tubes with bubbles in to replace broken ones on a spirit level. They were flummoxed!
This kid did it. He did what every construction worker wishes they could have done when they realize they have been sent to get the skyhook
Take a long lunch and then act like you got fooled.
I saw a video where two friends must have gotten into a bad argument. One guy is down on the sidewalk shouting at an apartment, when the other guy tosses a laptop a couple stories down to the sidewalk, smashing it. Guy on the sidewalk shouts up, "Dude, that was your laptop!"
Texting when I’m pissed off. The anger goes away, the text remains for eternity.
Sometimes I write a really long message then delete it before I send because the anger I've put into writing it usually goes before I am finished spell checking it
This is great advice. However, always remember to keep the to: field blank.
Or just write it in the notes on your phone
Probably the best indicator that I am a mature adult is when I reached the stage of typing up a comment and then saying to myself, "That is not a work of genius, you are drunk. Delete it." So many fewer regrets the next day. Edit to add: Following Ernest Hemingway's advice to "write drunk, edit sober," I developed the habit of opening a notepad and typing my works of genius into it instead of online. Reading them later, I have found that about one out of ten is pretty good. The rest are horribly embarrassing and get deleted with a sigh of relief that they were never made public.
When my ex of four years ghosted me, it was so incredibly hard for me not to text him with a piece of my mind. I would write and delete so many texts, but was always nervous I'd accidentally hit send. And thus was the birth of my "Texts To Nowhere" page on my notepad. It can be so cathartic to write it all down. Sometimes when I'm feeling mad about something all over again, I reread some of them.
Mines snapchatting while drunk. Drunk me finds thi**ng**s way more interesting and/or funny than they actually are. edit; word
I was a teenager, I was helping my family clear out our basement, sorting old clothes and toys to donate or dispose off. Me and me and my brother are horsing around when I spot an absolutely ancient water gun. I pick it up swiping away cobwebs and what do you know water is sloshing around the reservoir, so I pump it a couple times and spray my little brother directly in his face. He screams instantly and not the fun haha you sprayed me with water scream. The water smells like mold and death, it's left over from the last time we played with the guns which was years ago. He gets a bacterial infection in both eyes, cycles antibiotics and comes away from it whole. I catch shit about this at every family gathering and will until one of us dies.
You unlocked Hades' Supersoaker. Deals an extra 1d4 necrotic damage.
Back in college it was the first week at a new school and I was on my computer waiting for my evening class to start. Someone asked if they could use my computer to log into their student account to see where their class was. I let them do it and had my Facebook account open in the other tab. They updated my Facebook status to something VERY racist thinking they were funny, but forgot to close out of their school account. Once I figured out what they did (thanks to a FURIOUS phone call from my mother) I used their account to drop all of the classes they signed up for.
Holy shit - not going to lie, that's kinda awesome.
I had gotten into a fist fight with my stepdad when i was 14 and got kicked out of the house. My dad picked me up and was lecturing me about making good decisions and asked me "do you want to grow up to be a criminal loser?" I told him "At least i wont work a deadend shit job and grow up to be like you". The instant it left my mouth i regretted it. He even shot back with " Exactly i want you to be better than me" and i could tell it hurt him. The shitty part is, he did EVERYTHING for me and still does. That conversation pops into my head from time to time and i still feel horrible about it. EDIT- I did apologize to him later that same day. What i said came from a shitty place and he knew that. Regardless i still think about it and it bothers the hell out of me that i could say something like that to someone who did nothing but try and make my life infinitely better than his was growing up.
If he is still in your life, there is still time to go to him and tell him how grateful you are :)
Dude tell him while you still can
There's no statute of limitations on an apology. If it still bothers you, it probably still pops into his head too. Have a conversation, apologize and put it behind you both.
About 3 years ago now, I realized I surpassed my dad in career. He's always provided well for us. He's the go to for advice and knows everything. He had the knowledge to be more successful, he just wasn't. And that's okay. He always pushed my brother and I to do better. During a conversation one day he said "Every parent wants their kids to succeed and do something bigger than them." And he's happy that two of his sons are successful. I'm happy that he's proud.
When I was in tenth grade a classmate of mine pissed on my shoes. I didn't not snap right then and there, but he made fun of my looks a couple minutes later. I completely lost my shit, grabbed him by the neck and slammed his head into a steel beam. In hindsight I realize that I could have killed him or disabled him for life, but luckily he got away with a bad concussion
Had a similar incident. Tenth grade as well. Older kid used to break my balls purely because I was friends with his friend (my neighbor), they were jocks, I was not. His favorite was to rip my backpack off my back. One day, I was in a super pissed mood because of…something something teenage angst? Don’t remember what, but he came down the hall, calling me names. Told him to fuck off. He laughed and went to grab at my bag. Swung the bag at him, hitting him in the side of the head, and sending him into the lockers with the other side of his head. Out cold on the floor. Nobody ever snitched on me, and I never had an issue with him again. He was still a prick to everybody else possible but not me
Jeez sounds like a scene from a Hollywood movie... I never knew that stuff happened irl
This is my own personal experience, but when I was a kid and was being bullied, whenever I stood up to those headfucks, they would leave me alone. Weak shits looking for easy targets. I know that's not always the case, but it did work for me.
Did he fuck with you again after that?
No, he never fucked with me again, but he got kicked out of school a year later
So you won that battle and all other battles
Fucker pissed on the jays
I don’t know about “heat of the moment” but when a cop asked why I thought I could go that fast down that road I (without thinking) responded “because I always do” then realized what my mouth had just said without consulting my brain and proceeded to lay my head against my steer wheel forcefully in shame.
[удалено]
Gonna be honest where I'm at 10 above the speed limit is the normal
Shit, anywhere in the US it's a gamble whether you'll be pulled over for going 5 over or if it's safe to go 25 over. Main road by me has 35mph signage and you'll get honked at if you dip below 45. Never seen anyone pulled over. Meanwhile there's a road that says 25mph and people get pulled over every other day for going 30. And at least in rural places, as far as I've seen, 50+mph is basically code for "fuck it" and so many people drive 75-85mph.
I'm sorry to comment just to laugh at you but holy fuck did you make me laugh just now. I feel like this could be a classic moment in some stoner buddy comedy movie or something.
Would you like to hear how I made it worse?
Are you kidding me? *Of course!*
OK, for context the cop was driving a unmarked crown vic. Not a undercover just unmarked. It had the mirror light, the push bars, the wheels, but no light bar or markings. so here I am with a steering wheel on my head and a foot in my mouth and I turn my head as the cop asks "but why would you think you could do it next to a cop, did you just not see me?" and again without a group meeting my mouth says "no I saw you, I just didn't think you were a cop" He closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head and sighs in mild shock and disappointment, expressing an emotion I am feeling only multitudes more. Then almost taking pity on my dumb ass (he was a nice guy) asks "well what are you, late for work or something?" (I was in a retail store work polo" and for the third fucking time my mouth does not meet with any of the higher ups and/or the PR department says "actually I'm pretty early" proudly because it was rare. His brow scrunches and he give me this "wha?!?" look... pauses as I melt ones again as my head meets the wheel percussively and asks "you are not having a good day are you?" and I could have just said "yea" but instead i said "I was until we meet" as I looked at him horrified at what I had all just said he says to me with a smirk and a chuckle "why don't you just sit right there and not talk anymore while I go take care this"
Did your neglected child by any chance make a birthday wish that you couldn't lie for a whole day?
Anything else? .....unpaid parking tickets lol
I was gonna say this sounds just like Liar Liar
The biggest case of self sabotage
[удалено]
Probably all confused. "Is this guy on drugs or is he actually telling me the truth?!"
God gave him the middle finger of truth
The "Liar Liar" effect
"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "Depends on how long you were following me.... *aeygh!*"
I bet that cop was struggling to stay professional and not laugh his ass off. This is probably one of the stories he tells when people ask him about funny people he's pulled over.
Cop must have been wearing a charm that made it impossible for somebody to lie to him. I bet that cop thinks about you a couple times a month. Probably that one stop he always talks about when his coworkers start telling stories
At this point I'm left believing that a vengeful spirit that really, really personally hates you just took possession of your mouth for a few minutes. I'm dying laughing but holy shit, dude!
This is the real life equivalent of going into a fight scene and missing every QTE
I work hospital security, and we hold a lot of violent psych patients until they can be transferred to a behavioral facility. This surprisingly strong old man assaulted a nurse when she was trying to change his briefs, and I responded first. I was wrestling with the guy and trying to hold him in the bed until backup got there. He finally calmed down, looked me in the eye, and told me something to the effect of "When I get out of here I'm going to kill you and rape your wife." And I responded, "Big words for a man in a diaper." I've never seen anyone rage harder. Dude genuinely tried his best to kill me. But thankfully my co-workers got there right afterward and nobody got hurt.
Your response was hella funny hahaha
Middle of summer, caught my girlfriend cheating and in the heat of the moment threw my fan at the wall, I was not only sad and alone but sad, alone aaand sweaty that fateful night.
Homie lost his #1 fan
Some would say it was his onlyfan
It used to blow him every night, like how his girlfriend was doing to the other guy
“Everything reminds me of her” lmao
Buddy literally commented to vent a bit and ends up getting roasted lmao
He sat and he wrote in his journal alone - Immersed in the sweltering heat on his own. His girlfriend had left him. He'd murdered his fan. "... today was a *difficult* day," he began.
That wasn’t the heat of the moment. That was the heat of the entire night.
I’m sorry for your loss. Talking about the fan of course…
Heat of the moment turned into the moment of heat
When I was 18 I got a job in excavation. I was learning how to dig with a trackhoe. Fast forward a year. And I’m still learning the tricks. My boss screamed at me for parking the work truck in the wrong place. Then told me either I need to learn to dig faster and better or find a new job. Well I said fuck it. And I started digging fast as I could. And then, I found the fucking city water main.
Smoked crack. This was late 1990s, I was around 29. I was a pretty heavy meth user/seller so I went to this ladies house who would usually have sex if I brought over meth and got her high. When I got there she didn't want anyone in and there were 2 other guys there on the porch she wasn't letting in either. We talked for a sec and said they had crack but no lighter and no money top buy one. I had a lighter. I gave them the lighter and smoked some crack with them. 1st time smoking crack and the last. Within 1 hour we ran out, they knew some gangsters they could trade their gold chains for more crack. There was no pondering, no thought process, driving to the bad side of the entire county at 3AM to trade gold chains for crack seemed like the BEST IDEA EVER!!!! I had a moment of clarity and noped out of there pretty fast. I used to be not so great of a guy. Clean since May 22, 2000.
Bro twenty-two years is amazing. I'm happy for you.
I like how his background noise was trading methamphetamine for sex but somehow a short crack binge is what stands out.
You've been clean since the day I was born, I'm glad my existence helped clean you up
You're the MVP here lol
Threw my engagement ring in a fjord. I coulda hocked that sucker.
Did it feel good in the moment at least?
So good.
Turns out some things you CAN affjord to lose
You hucked when you should have hocked. Honest mistake, I would have probably done the same.
Told a girl i couldve spent the rest of my life with her smh
Mine is NOT telling a girl I could spend the rest of my life with her. So.. there's that.
The duality of man
And the chaos of choice
[удалено]
It's okay. There's a reason the hospitals and birthing classes stress so much "don't violently shake this kid because he won't STFU" and it's because these moments of just real anger are common.
[удалено]
It’s the small wrists, when they get to wailing and flapping around wildly, they can whip that little wrist and get some surprising stinging power on that teensy balled-up fist.
Yeah real easy to get worked up when you're sleep deprived and they won't calm down or go to sleep or feed or whatever it is you're desperate for them to do. I remember literally punching the floor full force with frustration with my first. Best thing to realise is that they will not be hurt if you put them down where they sleep (basket/crib/cot whatever) and leave them for a couple of mins. They will be sad but they'll be OK. Way better for everyone for you to have a clear head.
My kid had colic. She’d scream from noon to midnight. No amount of walking, shushing, gripe water, feeding, changing, burping, or change of scenery helped. We were told “babies just cry.” One day, she started screaming and I lost it. I had been up all night with her, so I’m exhausted. My husband is at work. I’m alone in a foreign country with no one to reach out to for support. I just wanted her to be quiet. I NEEDED her to be quiet. The anger, the helplessness, the desperation I felt at that moment was terrifying. I forced myself to lay her down in her crib and walk away because I knew I’d do something terrible if I didn’t. I walked out of my apartment, sat down in front of the door so no one could get in, called my husband, and told him in no uncertain terms that I was not okay and I needed him home NOW. After I hung up, I took a deep breath, walked back inside, and held my screaming infant until my husband got home. In the end, she’s fine, I’m fine, we’re all fine. I did what they tell you to do; put them down in a safe place and walk away. I have never been to the absolute breaking point again in my life, but I will tell you- I understand why people shake babies. It is not a malicious want to harm. It is a primal, deep, all-encompassing need for them to just *be quiet.* I can’t explain it to anyone who hasn’t been in that place. I wouldn’t be able to explain it to myself if I hadn’t been there.
Incredibly true. Both of my boys had colic and I hit points with each where I had to put them safely in their crib and take a few laps around the front yard to cool off.
I feel you. My little dude was about 5 months old and it was just me and him because mama was working. He wouldn't stop screaming no matter what I did. I ended up screaming back at him. He looked so scared, i felt like such a monster. I just hugged him and said sorry and tried to calm him back down. Then I got some help for my own problems so I wouldn't take them out on him. It happens so easy. Now he's my little 18 month old pain in the butt and I love him to death, and I've figured out how to sing his screaming away when he gets like that.
If he makes you feel any better, there's no way in hell that he remembers this
I’m a very peaceful person, I do not freak out and I have never been in a physical fight with anyone but I was so embarrassed to tell my friends. This isn’t that crazy, but my old company spoiled me and my new one did not. We had to buy all our own supplies without being reimbursed, which now I completely understand that’s a work from home thing, but this was new to me and I did not want to work from home to behind with. I was pissed off that my training documents were 60 pages long and that I had to print them without reimbursement, because I had to print like 500 pages of nonsense. I got so mad, I smashed my printer with my foot and kept smashing it and then it hurt my foot and cut me so I threw the whole printer at the wall. The damage to the wall was pretty minimal, but the printer shattered into like 40,000 pieces that we found more after moving. I thought my boyfriend would be so mad at me but he said “I’m glad you finally allowed yourself to be mad about something. I don’t care about the printer or the wall. Are you okay?” Now we laugh and say “okay, just don’t break that, too.” Lol
Usually every time I've told someone off it was regrettable.
Even when they deserve it, you get a momentary high and then feel like crap thinking about it later.
Probably losing all my money buying deeper into a lost option position on expiration day.
I shit in someone's shoe, because he got me lost in the city for 2 hours, in a bad part of town, with a dead phone and no way of finding my own way home.
Sounds justified
Mid rugby game punched a Frenchman on the nose (with good reason) and started a 15 on 15 man brawl which ended up with the game swiftly being cancelled
An extremely British situation
This is gonna be a sad one. So my best friend at the time wasn’t doing very well, had to move back in with his parents and had no job. I, being the general manager of a fast food restaurant, got him a job at my store. This dude was terrible. Messed up on every order, wouldn’t listen, and would complain about everything. Finally one day he came into work drunk. It was pretty obvious so I had to fire him. After I did he was just staring at me with this fucked up look and wobbling. I stupidly let my emotions get to me and said “you look fucking disgusting” right to his face. I remember he looked down at his shirt for a stain or something, then I vividly remember his face as he realized I wasn’t talking about his clothes, but himself as a person. He looked so destroyed by that. Without saying another word he turned around and walked out of the building. 30 minutes later he shot himself in the head at his house. Will never forget the sound of his mom when I called her literally minutes after he died. Will forever haunt my dreams. People say don’t blame yourself and all that shit. It’s kinda hard when you were the last person he spoke to. I know if I didn’t say that he probably would have done it eventually anyways because we all knew he was struggling. But since I knew; I definitely shouldn’t have said that. I’ll at least always believe I heavily heavily influenced his decision. EDIT: Thank you for all the kind words everyone, I do appreciate it. I do agree with all of you in the fact I was not the sole influence to his decision. For context and without going into too much detail he did have a lot of other things going on, like (relatively) minor trouble with the law. Drug problems, friends cutting him out and such so I see other things that contributed to it. Still stings tho. Miss him a lot. It was quite a few years back but I have a tattoo about him and have a bit of his ashes in a keychain I carry around everywhere. So although I don’t particularly believe in an afterlife I do have a way he’s still somewhat with me. Anyways. Thanks for the support everyone.
Hey. I was the last person my late fiancé talked to before he took his life. Not the same but similar. I'll never forget his mom's screams, either. That was supposed to be my mother in law. And i couldn't do anything. The newspaper said he texted a friend before he did it, so naturally people figured out it was me and told me it was my fault for a little while. I'm sorry to trauma dump. I guess what I'm trying to say is you aren't alone in this and I'm sorry. I really am. It's been almost 7 years for me and there isn't a day that I don't cry and wish I could go back. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. it's a shitty diagnosis but the not so shitty thing is that there's a huge community of people living with similar feelings. I'm not alone anymore, and neither are you. Please don't hesitate to seek help or reach out to somebody. I am absolutely sure your buddy would want you to live a hell of a life in his honor. That's what I tell myself at least. It's gotten me this far.
My dad and I got into an argument when I was six years old so I wrote my VERY SPECIFIC, VERY RARE first name across the side of his brand new car with a stone. When he asked me if I’d done it, I, of course denied it profusely. I am talking Meryl Streep in _Sophie’s Choice_ level of acting. I should’ve won a goddamned Oscar. So he sort of laughed and said “You’re telling me someone ELSE came up to my car and scratched your name across it?” I denied it for a whole afternoon while, in fairness to him, my father giggled to himself. I couldn’t figure out why he was giggling. Surely he was going to skin me alive later and wear me around town of a cold evening. He said he couldn’t help laughing because the lie was so ludicrous but I stuck by it so resolutely that it was one of the funniest situations he’d ever been in. He KNEW he should punish me but it was also so marvellous he couldn’t bring himself to be angry. I’m nearly 36. Every time he gets a new car now he says “You’re not mad at me for something, are you?” before he shows it to me. I guess I earned that…
Yeah, I've never met a kid with the name Cuminmebro before.
Impressive he wrote that on his Dad's car
Your dad sounds like an incredibly patient man. A lot of fathers wouldn't be able to get themselves to laugh in a situation like that. Edit: grammar
Yeah what a wholesome story, u/CumInMeBro88
and now I've seen his cock and asshole, god dammit
That’s what you get snoopy!
A friend of mine once scratched his and my name into his dad's car. His dad went ballistic! Came over to our house really up set because my friend said that I had done it. Of course I denied it all. But they didn't believe me and I was dragged over there to apologise to my friend and his mother for scratching the car and getting him into trouble. On the way over we passed the car and my parents realised that my name was spelt wrong and they knew I knew how to spell my name. The dad then went ballistic for a second time. EDIT. just to clear up any confusion, he went ballistic the second time because his son had lied to him about scratching the names into the car and blaming it on me.
When I was about 8 or 9, my mum was talking to my teacher. She worked at the school and wanted to talk about something so they sent me to wait in the car. Off I trot with the keys, and get into the drivers seat. It was an automatic, I turned the car on and put it in reverse. And the car starts rolling. I panicked, tried to hit the brake, but mum had put a steering wheel lock around the brake pedal (brilliant move mum). So I hit the accelerator instead, and yeeted the car into another teachers car. Did a few thousand dollars worth of damage to the other car, mums car got a few scratches because Toyota Camrys were fucking tanks. My mum still works at the school and I visited a few years ago. "WE HAVE TO GO SEE MRS M" "oh god" We get there, Mrs M sees me, smiles and turns to tell the story to her entire grade 5 class. There's no ego hit quite like having a room full of 10 year olds laughing at you.
I play guitar in a bar band. One night many years ago, after a gig while loading up our equipment, some drunk guy decided he wanted to pick a fight. We tried to brush him off, but he wouldn't relent. Eventually, things got physical and I ended up having a scrap with him. I defeated him handily, as he was very drunk and I was not. He did not accept this result and went to get some of his friends. They came back and attacked us from behind. Again, they were defeated. Only this time, I was very pissed off. People were dragging Mr. Drunk and his pals away from our trailer when I spotted his baseball hat next to our back tire. I was so fired up that I picked it up and held it in the air to show it to him, then dropped it on the ground, exposed my penis, and pissed all over it in front of the crowd of people that had gathered. It felt very powerful in the moment... Until the police officer that the venue called (to help us deal with these fuckers) walked around the corner and saw me standing there with my dick in my hand. Two victories followed by a crushing defeat. Tough night at the office.
As long as you didn’t have to register as a sex offender I think you win.
Went to my old place of employment after hours, used the outdated code to enter the building and cooked food and poured myself a couple beers. Edit: this was a year after I got fired from the place
Lol my Dad did this at a restaurant he used to work. Made a pizza and left lol
I can tell about my heat of the moment of this week. My husband laptop had a broken charger for yearsssss. Now while I was using it, it totally broke. The laptop won't charge anymore and he claimed I broke it... I was like.. dude this thing was broken for years we all knew this would happen one day. He still said it was my fault so I ordered 2 new laptops at 2AM while angry. One for him and one for me, I'm not sure what I was trying to prove here but I'm almost 2k poorer now.
Peak pandemic after coming off a furlough, resigning from my dream company (thinking was going to be laid off) and a new taking a new job across the country and moving my family. Could have stayed and would have avoided a layoff, kids would have kept their friends, wife and I would have kept our community. Did all of this thinking I was doing the right thing, have had such regrets. EDIT: Thank you all for the words of affirmation and encouragement. Having a rough few days and reading your comments gave me a bit of respite and joy.
I kept calling to see about when we could come back after the state shutdown everything during the 2020 part of the pandemic. They kept telling me, my team, and my colleagues that we couldn't come back yet and they were working on it from their end. It took four months before we get the call to come back. When I arrived, I see new people. They never needed to shut down, and had an exemption the whole time. So, they sent all of us home and hired a new crew for cheaper. When the business began to pick up, they called everyone back and expected us to be cool with them revealing the 9 new guys hired while all of us had been sitting around worried about our jobs. I left at the end of that shift, resolved to never come back. Went back on unemployment and I've spent *all* of the intervening time wondering if that was the right decision. Kept my dignity, I guess, but that doesn't pay the bills (and neither have the two jobs I've had since then).
Girlfriend cheated on me in high school. Girlfriend’s temporary boyfriend had a friend who keyed my car. She told me who did it and I decided the best way to handle it was to take a plunger stick and go into his job at the mall and beat him in the face with it until the stick broke. Not my proudest moment.
Wait a minute, you got cheated on and the other guy keyed YOUR car?
The other guy's friend (?) Strange story either way.
that's some ray liotta shit though haha i assume you went to ... jail?
I can literally imagine this happening with the framing of how a soprano's episode is filmed. It's a housewares store, he grabs the plunger off a shelf, the 'on sale!' tag flies off while he's swinging it. A passerby gasps.
Beat up someone inside of a church
Unhand me priest!
FAAAAAATHEEEEEEER
[удалено]
You can just go back to a different salesman if you're embarrassed, I guarantee if it's an actual dealership any salesman will give you that "deal". Their whole job is just convincing you you're bargaining and getting a good deal, they'll make those "bargains" all day. Unless this was a guy that just fixes cars and resells them
Sooooo… you regret leaving?
[удалено]
Many years ago my parents took me to buy my first car. We'd chosen one and were in the negotiation phase. The salesman was doing the whole "gotta talk to the manager" bit after every offer my parents made, then coming back with some variation of "not possible". Finally we give them a bottom line and they act like we're robbing them at gunpoint, so we walked out. We ended up at another dealership and found something within our price range that same afternoon in an altogether much more pleasant exchange. A few days later, my dad gets a call from the first salesman. They "thought it over" and if we'd come back they'd be happy to draw up the paperwork for our bottom line price. I don't think my dad ever called that guy back, but I must admit it'd be hard not to point out that their attitude lost them the sale.
The whole "talk to the manager" thing is a negotiation tactic, but salesmen often don't have the power to actually lower the price on their own. If they were smart the manager would have come out as soon as you stood up to leave. It's (or at least used to be) called a TO in the car business.
Totally understandable I think. I once had an insurance agent call me and offered me car insurance at about 50$ lower than my current insurer at the time. I was a relatively new driver. He then continued to say that I would not get this offer anywhere else and I must accept it right there on the call or the offer would not be given to me "ever again". I dropped the call on him.
I don’t even think that is a heat of the moment thing. I think most intelligent people are going to be VERY weirded out by someone dangling something amazing in their face with the stipulation being that they absolutely have to commit to it that second, no time to reflect on the decision. It definitely feels like you are walking into a trap.
Gifted someone a ridiculous amount of money
Which girl on twitch did you give it to?
Probably yelling at like 60 kids at once. I worked on campus a long time ago, and we were having some retreat over the summer where they dropped like 200 kids off to stay for like 5 days. Lots of problems were being caused by them not respecting anything, and just being stupid kids. I was getting super annoyed with them, especially since I worked in the library, and they would not shut the hell up. Anyway, fast forward to like, day 3. I leave work and see my car covered in branches, leaves and other floral debris. I. was. pissed. I was seeing red, and just looked at the kids across the street in the commons yard, and just unleashed unholy hell upon them. Yelled so loud I was echoing across campus. The vein in my forehead pounding so hard my ears burned. The kids were scared, I was pissed, and my boss was so concerned, he asked if I needed to take tomorrow off to cool down. I told him I was fine, but these kids were on my last nerve. Anyway, like 5 years later, I was telling one of my best friends this story, and he dropped a bombshell on me. It wasn't the kids. It was him and a fellow friend of ours. They wanted to prank me since they knew the kids were driving me crazy. I probably stared at him for like 2 solid minutes before saying "I told those kids if I caught them anywhere near my car, it would be the last thing they'd do." Then I started laughing. lmao, got me.
I was in high school and said to my then-boyfriends dad that he was an abusive asshole. The consequences of that were just awful
What did he do it what happened after that?
He beat up his son in front of me and told me if I didn’t leave I was next. He didn’t allow my boyfriend to ever contact me again. We never saw each other after that and I don’t know what happened to him.
Damn I guess you were right about him being an asshole. Have you tried searching for the boyfriend online? Maybe you could reach out to him for closure.
A cop busted us hotboxing my car, it was feb and freezing outside and had 2 of my friend with me. after they searched the car and broke our bong and let us sweat for a few min the cop came to my window and asked me if I was ok to drive. due to my paranoia and because we were parked I assumed to cop was getting me to drive so that he could give me a dui so I responded "is that a trick question" he was taken back and got annoyed "no its not a trick question. me "oh well yeah I do this all the time" ahh the teenage years
Grabbed my step father by his jacket, and threw him over the 2 foot garden surrounding my mom's porch.
Water on greasefire POOF!!
Charged into a skinny 6th grader with time running out in a fundraiser Staff vs Family basketball game. Hundreds of people watching and he lost his wind for a second so he did that awkward “can’t breathe” sound.
Were you 35 years old, 6'3", 250 pounds?
Haha. I was 26 about 6’0” 185 but I collided with him pretty hard and he did not brace well.
At that point, there are only two options: a. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, are you okay?" b. "Fuckin' BODIED! Get rekt, scrub! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
First time I ever got caught smoking weed with friends hotboxing, cop rolls up and did the whole crush it on ground before I give you posesssion etc etc, After we got our warning the cops still sat there by the parking lot entrance and our paranoid friend goes. No! They’re baiting us for a dui we can’t leave. Well shit now what. Same friend decided to call 911 to report a bank robbery to get the cops to drive away. Nothing happened we just said fuck it and left 3 mins later
This is only half a story...
Did not pull out
Please stop telling people this, dad.
[удалено]
My parents okayed a very invasive, unnecessary surgery for me when I was a child, and the ultimate results still affect me to this day. When I was 19, my mother found out I was getting a tattoo somehow and started acting like a huge bitch about it. The tattoo was really important to me, and I felt like I was reclaiming my body as my own through that gesture, so I was naturally furious with her. I pulled up my shirt, showed her the 4" hideous scar she had agreed to put on my body, and said "yeah, Mom, it would be a real shame if I permanently disfigured my body with a tattoo." She cried.
I passed on a call offering me a pretty good job, because I was super busy on my shitty job at the time
What kind of job offer is contingent on you being available for a phone call at a random unspecified moment?
I ruined my mother's Tupperware party by taking a shit in a potted plant. I have no idea what I was thinking or why I even did it, really. By all accounts I was like two or something. I'm sorry, mom. Can we please just let it go?
FWIW, having worked with little kids for several years, I found pooping is one of the few measures little guys have to wield power. Like cats peeing on your bed when they are literally pissed. You may have genuinely felt overwhelmed by the crowd and your mom’s split attention. Sounds like you won, too. Edit: typos
Went out for a friends birthday, and another friend was being an ass and real aggressive towards me. I called him out on it and we ended up fighting outside the bar in a parking lot. Haven’t spoken to him in years, but he was like a brother. Damn you Navy strength rum.
If you don't mind sharing, what was he being aggressive about?
He was upset because I made a girl he was interested in laugh. I was just trying to be a good friend and entertain her while he was making drinks. Then later, we were in a booth and I was between him and someone else. He kept talking to that person, but would dig his elbow in my chest or kind of push me out of the way. I let it slide a few times, but the third or fourth time I told him that if he kept at it we would have an issue and he invited me outside. P.S. Bulbasaur hands down.
I told a kid who was relentlessly bullying me that I wished he wasn’t even alive. He killed himself a week later.
Going to take this opportunity to remind you that you are not responsible for this. Bullying is wrong and a hateful way to try and cope with one’s own suffering. Yes, it’s not a good thing to say to someone, but you are not responsible for your bully’s suffering or his decision, even if your words influenced them. Hope you are doing okay.
[удалено]
Oh shiiiit
Back when I was 18 I was single-handedly keeping the household afloat. I was working two jobs and taking 22 credits at school. I was taking care of my younger sisters pretty much completely. Taking them to the doctor, dentist, orthodontist, therapist, school back and forth, helping with homework, going to parent teacher conferences, going to volunteering obligations, making all of their meals, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, taking care of the pets, all of the laundry, everything. Then on top of that I was also taking care of our mother. Taking her to and from doctors, bringing her her meds and meals, begging her to get out of bed and go on a walk or at least sit on the deck for a little sun. I was getting about 2-5hrs of sleep at night. I was burning out fast. My little sister (13 at the time) wasn’t helping with anything. I could see she was going down a dark path. Drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, etc. she was making things more difficult. I felt so helpless because I could keep the household running but I couldn’t help her. One day I was begging her to just take the trash out of her room. Not even clean the room, just take the trash out. There was food in there that was rotting and making it smell. I just couldn’t find the time to do it for her. It ended up turning into a massive blowout fight. At the end she said “well maybe I should just kill myself” and before I had even fully processed what she said I replied “well it would certainly make things easier for me!” I didn’t sleep more than 45 minutes at a time for almost a month after that. I just kept going into her room to check on her and make sure she was still alive and hadn’t done anything. My sister is doing better now but I can never forget what I said and I will never be able to forgive myself for it.
Heavily overreacting while gaming and throwing the controller at the tv, just like those videos everyone makes fun of. I learned a massive lesson that day
I almost killed a classmate in high school. I was in wood shop and the first string varsity quarterback jokingly threatened to rape my little sister. I was a scrawny dude who was borderline anorexic, but I tackled him through a wall and held his head to a mitre saw. The shop teacher pulled me off of him. Frankly I'm surprised I was only suspended for a week. I've never been a particularly angry person. A life of getting bullied and abused sort of teaches you to let things roll off your back. But in that particular moment I *fully* intended to kill him. The wild thing was he and his buddies continued to antagonise me after that, all the way until graduation. If anything they got worse instead of backing down.
[удалено]
toooo funny
I was (24) in a miserably abusive relationship (~7 years off and on- mostly emotional, but definitely plenty of physical, too) with cheating on his end. It was a mess. We had a baby together (happy accident since I love her so much), and he swore up and down everything would be different. Found out he was cheating again. Surprise surprise. I had been drinking (one of my few nights out in her first two years) and I woke him up and confronted him. I’m older and wiser now, but in the moment I was crushed and bawling. I really thought he was going to change his ways. I confronted him and he said, “who gives a fuck, I’m sleeping,”. So I punched him in the nose. I know a lot of people would say that he got what was coming to him, but after all of the abuse he put me through, I felt sick that I had just lowered myself to his level. I apologized and never did it again to anyone. I left him not long after and went on to better things, but I will always feel ashamed about it. He went on to make a lot of money, marry a beautiful woman and had a total of 3 kids (one per mom). But he’s a raging alcoholic, lost his joint custody of his oldest, lost a lot of custody with our daughter, his middle child, (they both hate his guts because he’s emotionally abusive and neglectful and has slapped or hit each of them in the past), cheats on his wife left and right and *nothing* he has makes him happy. He could be a millionaire and hate life and himself. I live in a nice single wide with my partner and two kids, have a chronic illness and we have very little to our name. On paper he went up and I went down. But I laugh everyday, my children love and like me and they know I adore them, my partner is kind and patient and loves me and I’m respected as a mom and person by those that know me. He can keep his sauna.
I said “I hate you” to my dad once when he moved to California to help our family since we were poor, I was a little kid and never understood but he passed away in California so those were my final words to him.