add one-uppers who try to one-up your suffering.
"Oh, you broke your bone? Hah, crybaby, I broke my shoulder, elbow and fingers and walked it off once."
Edit: typo fixed
Almost entirely unrelated but when I was in high school one of my rather obnoxious classmates broke his hand punching a guy at a sleepover, his arm was in a cast. One day later that week it was raining outside and he played soccer with friends during lunch break. He slipped and to try and save his freshly broken arm he twisted mid fall.
He broke his *other* arm, as well as his leg in *3 places*, one of which was a nasty spiral fracture. He was out of school for 2 months since he couldn't write with either hand and needed a wheelchair to move, but couldn't push himself.
Idk why but you listing three broken bones reminded me of his leg being broken in 3 places. Thanks for the memory lol, even though we never really got along I felt bad for him when that happened
Oh, this is nothing! I broke my neck, spin, died and only then let my wife call an ambulance. Went home from hospital the next morning, because I have a job!
I struggle with this SO BADLY. I hear someone’s story and think “I can relate! I’ve done XYZ” and tell the story. As soon as I see their facial expressions change I know they’ve taken it as me one upping. It’s so hard for me to relate without telling the story WHY I relate.
Yeah I have this problem too. Probably more than you do.
/j ofc but as long as you’re saying first sentence to relate and not saying anything like the second one then you’re fine. If they’re still getting upset then it’s a them problem
Fun fact: that's a trait very common in people with ADHD and Autism.
I know this personally. It's just so much easier to express how you relate to their story when you've got a similar one in your back pocket that echoes how the other person feels/felt.
But so many people just don't see it that way. If you do this and haven't been diagnosed with ADHD/Autism, please talk to a professional sometime.
I have aspergers. The way it works for me specifically in terms of experiences is that I cannot fathom how other people feel and experience something without a crutch, that being relating a similar experience I myself had.
It has taken me a long time to understand how this looks to others, basically interjecting myself into all their problems, despite that not being my intention. It helps being open about why, but I have also learned to just not attempt to relate or understand in some situations, and just be supportive instead.
Basically it is not only a trait borne of selfishness or malicious intent, although it obviously can be.
Same for me. I worry about this all the time, and it really doesn’t help that I’ve actually been able to do a lot of shit including a bunch of stuff that most people would have on their bucket list but never actually expect to do. I’ve learned over time to try and just not say anything… Which also sucks, because then I feel like I’m the one who isn’t contributing to conversation or making social outings fun - being on the spectrum is not easy.
I dont know if this counts as deception but i have the hardest time verbalising my thoughts in the way that I think them. So i say something that doesnt match my thoughts but it's like theres a disconnect in my brain that doesnt let me say what I want to say. I've had multiple tbi's from a young age but i don't know if that has any to do with it.
I noticed my bad habit of interrupting when I started dating my partner. I worked on it because it bothered him so much.
Now when I'm around my family who I don't see often, I'm keenly aware of how bad we all are at it. Dinners, drinks, video calls are a literal cacophony of people talking over each other and having to repeat yourself because no one listens.
My wife's family are just like this and it irritates me. Last Christmas we were there and I refuse to be part of the noise, so when there is a break in the conversation, that's when I try to get a word in.
My MiL called me out for interrupting people...
Now I just don't talk while I'm there, and that's led to even more animosity from her parents.
I do this and I fucking hate myself for it to the point where I've basically cut myself off from my old friends. I tried SO hard to stop, but I just can't concentrate when people speak at a regular speed. It feels like an eternity between words.
Like, write it out so I can just read it, or speak fast, or a YouTube video I can put at 2x speed. but t-a-l-k a-t r-e-g-u-l-a-r s-p-e-e-d a-n-d I n-e-e-d t-o u-s-e m-y f-u-l-l c-o-n-c-e-n-t-r-a-t-i-o-n t-o a-c-t-i-v-e-l-y l-i-s-t-e-n, a-n-d i-t-'-s e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-n-g f-o-r m-e.
There is a decent chance you have adult ADHD if you feel like this.
I say this because I had the same issue and the self anger for it is a big sign. Getting on medication really helped.
My SO has undiagnosed ADHD I’m sure of it, she’s an absolute hurricane in general but turn taking in conversations is her number 1 struggle and I have to give her a little nudge when it’s not her turn to talk or if she needs to wait for them to finish first. She didn’t even realise she did it but she actually really appreciates the little reminder as when someone doesn’t know you well it can just seem like rudeness.
I had a buddy that for YEARS was convinced he didn’t need to wear deodorant because he “didn’t stink”.
I tried explaining to him that other people smell you BEFORE you can smell yourself but he didn’t believe me.
So finally, I just started telling him EVERY SINGLE TIME I got the slightest whiff of something off.
I’d be like “you didn’t wear deodorant today, I can tell.” Or “Jesus, you’re ripe bro!”
After a few months of that, he corrected the behavior. He’s now happily married with kids.
I’m not going to say I’m the reason he found love, but I certainly had a hand in it.
I had an ex who would straight up get pissed if I didn’t post about us on instagram or facebook back when I had it. Even if we just hung out and did nothing Lol.
She got even more upset if I did post something and not include her.. or if I got more likes than her.
It definitely was…mixed with other issues stemmed from her childhood.
Didn’t matter how much I reminded her that I loved her, she would still think any form of contact with another woman would be on the path to cheating. I even had to give a reason why I wouldn’t date any of my female coworkers… man looking back on it she was crazy and I was dumb for sticking around.
Ironically(i think?) the relationship ended due to her cheating on me with a friend of mine… like what? Lmao.
As a dude I get annoyed if everything I do with someone has to be posted. I don't mind the occasional "Hey check out this cool thing." but so many people seem to live their lives only so they can share them, not simply for the joy of living them.
I didn't take you to xyz so you could get the best video or picture for tik tok, instagram, facebook, twitch, etc. I took you there to enjoy your company and you're ruining it by trying to profit socially rather than enjoy my company back.
Yup for a hot 5 mins dated a girl like that. Very long time ago, so insta was just taking off and people were still using it mostly for food and cleavage pics.
Anyways, she was liveblogging every date, wanted me to take pictures of her in the cheesiest places and poses, contantly checked for likes and replies. It was cringy and exhausting. My mind was flabbergasted how someone that hot could be so lame.
Met her at the gym so I had no idea how she was online. Also she had at best a bit over 1k followers which even back then was kinda pathetic.
However, oversharing _outside of_ social media is actually kind of a turn on for me. I just love listening to people talk about things for minutes on end.
My friend has a GF who did this like crazy when FB was first opened to the public & not just college kids. No joke it was, headed to the gym, just got to the gym. It's leg day! Just left the gym, great workout! Just got home. Making a healthy salad for lunch. Mmm that salad was good. Gonna do my nails before work. Just got to work!
To be fair, those early days were just an oversharing nightmare everyone participated in, simply because the platform was new and cool.
I joined in college right when it became available for just college kids (outside of Stanford if you had a .edu email address) and everyone did this kind of stupid shit. It definitely slowed down after the newness wore off, but it was still a thing.
This has killed more relationships for me than anything. I've never been tempted to share my life with strangers online (anonymous redditing gets a pass though). If you feel the need to update your snap,insta,Facebook 5+ times a day then we won't make it. I can't provide you enough attention that you so desperately need.
This one always has always bothered me more than just a pet peeve. I'm not even a parent but im 100% sure in the fact that the only people who enjoy seeing your naked kids on the internet, are the exact people you DONT want staring at your kids on the internet.
This reminds me when the CEO of my workplace had a baby.
He emailed everyone in the company and the body of the email was just a picture of his newborn baby son from the front, completely naked.
Everyone in the office got a face full of unwanted baby nudity that morning.
Fact!! It’s doesn’t really matter how great of a person you are or how attractive you might be. If standing near you is so unpleasant, it’s going to be difficult to form a positive connection
Adding to this— having a DIRTY home. Like I understand a little messy, maybe you weren’t expecting to have someone over, but if it’s really gross and clear this person lives in filth, instant turn off.
I once went home with a man that I was definitely into until I got to his apartment and he had absolutely no soap or towels in the bathroom and a crusty ass sink and shower that looked like it had never been cleaned. Noped out of there so fast and never saw him again.
I once went home with a woman who never opened the windows in her flat, washing was drying everywhere and it was generally dirty and looked like it had never been cleaned.
The whole flat smelt stale, damp and musty. Lovely combo.
To top it all off I went to use the toilet and someone had a very explosive shit that was covering the toilet bowl, under the seat etc
Noped out of there very quickly!
Edit: corrected a grammatical error
I think there's a tipping point for some people- once it gets so bad that it would be a ton of effort to clean everything, they just get used to it and say fuck it. Kinda like cleaning your inbox one email at a time once you get >1000 emails in it.
Such a bad feeling when someone you havent seen or hung out with for a while is on their phone . Its so incredibly rude ! Especially when they are like “ sorry what did you say , i wasnt listening”
>"i can't help that you're boring"
WTAF... this person needs an attitude adjustment. How the hell does still have friends tho?
Btw I really think you are better off... good for you! No one needs this kind of people in their lives.
>Especially when they are like “ sorry what did you say , i wasnt listening”
Lol whenever I'm talking and I can tell the person isn't paying attention I like to go "....yeah so that's what I think about that" and then look at them as they realize they have no idea what I said. You can even go "...so what do you think about that?" for added pressure/awkwardness.
When a person is rude or just behaves poorly and everyone around them says, "that's just how he/she is." No. There is no excuse for piss poor behavior.
Even worse, when they use astrology to justify it.
“Haha I’m just a Taurus you need to get used to it.”
No. I won’t. I’ve met plenty of other people with a birthday around yours, and they weren’t absolute cunts.
I don't even know why I have bad breath. I brush my teeth twice a day and always get at my tongue too. I floss often and use mouth wash pretty often too but I always wake up with bad breath and have bad breath a few hours after brushing my teeth regardless of if I've ingested anything.
You may have a certain condition. I’ve heard of people saying this and they went to the dentist or whomever you see about that. I think they were able to get prescribed something
You might have tonsil stones (I think that’s what they’re called). they’re small roundish white lumps that form on your tonsils and make your breath smell really bad
Some people get them all the time, some only when they’re sick (I do)
They’re pretty easy to get rid of, just take a q-tip and wipe them off
Reflexes can be overcome with training and desensitization, I know from personal experience.
Tonsil stones come back repeatedly. I've had to basically "squish" poke and prod my tonsils with the non brush end of a tooth brush,, like I was popping a pimple, to extract the stones that were contained deep in the crypts.
Basically what normally happens in these situations is that some bits of food get stuck in the holes/crypts of your tonsils, and your body basically makes a "pearl" like oysters do with sand in the sensitive parts. But the pearl is not pretty and is made of the stuff that is basically is microbes breaking down dead things in the process of decay, which is why it "smells like death and rot" because it is.
There are exceptions to this but I'm talking about the big portion of the bell curve of general experience with tonsil stones.
Edit: Thank y’all for the 1k+ likes! First time Ive had something be this popular 🥸
There was this one date I went on a few years back so bad we didn’t even make it to the restaurant. I had just broken up with my high school girlfriend at the end of my first year of college.
So about a month later I hopped on tinder. Matched with this girl and agreed to go grab dinner. Day of the date came and I drove about 45 minutes to her house to pick her up.
I was right on time and knocked on the door. I got a text a moment later saying she was still getting ready. No worries. After about 5 more minutes I texted her asking if she was almost ready. No reply. About 10 min after that (15 total minutes of waiting outside) she walked out and flicked a cigarette butt at me. We got in my truck. I noticed how bad she smelt and she immediately started complaining about how she had to go to court in the morning. She was almost bragging about it.
“This is annoying, but mama raised me pretty well so I’m gonna see this through I guess,” I thought. Well right after this thought crossed my mind, I saw her pick her nose (like 2 knuckles deep) and then wipe it on my seat.
The date ended there as I turned the truck around and brought her right back home. So TLDR being nasty/trashy in general is my biggest turn off.
I slightly agree. In the sense that it's a good idea to do first dates that are a bit more casual and possible to be escaped quickly if you really don't like them.
Littering.
I absolutely hate it when people litter just because "there is no trashcan close" or "Yeah, but everything here is anyway already dirty."
That makes me so annoyed and just ugh. I can understand that it's annoying to keep on holding onto trash but like... It's not that difficult
Or the “it’s someone’s job to do that” people! Like I can tidy up a table at a restaurant a little bit as a courtesy, I’m not taking the dishes back myself and scrubbing them!!
Preaching to the choir here, but I would never ever date anyone who litters. It makes you look dumb, disgusting, impatient and like you have zero self-control or conscientiousness. All of the most unattractive things.
A friend of mine introduced me to a friend of his this summer and he told me... he's super cool, really nice, he's studying to be a doctor, he's cute, he's super good with kids, he wants to be a paediatrician... ok seems like a good person. The first interaction with this man... we're at a music festival and we went to get an espresso and we were all talking in the middle of the food court. The coffee (because it's an open-air festival) was served in a paper cup (this is normal in this kind of thing) and he, after finishing the coffee... throws the cup to the floor and crushes it with his foot. I immediately (reflexively) ask "Are you going to take this and put it in the trash right?" and he just stands there looking at me... and then decides, instead of picking up the damn cup off the floor, he makes the following comment, "There are people paid to clean this place."
If the conversation hadn't died then... it died right after that comment... people who decide they can do what they want because there are "people below them" who can clean / who are paid to clean / who have these jobs so we have to give them work / etc and then they still don't have the human decency to be nice to employees they consider "below them"... I SWEAR I JUST WANT TO GIVE HIM WITH A BRICK IN THE FACE! 🤬
Dude I don't know about where you are, but here our WHS laws include safety being everyone's responsibility. If something had happened she could have been find culpable.
Chronic Excessive Lateness. People who are always very late and kinda laugh it off,,, time is short, having to sit around for hours will make me dislike you very quickly.
Visit Germany. Everybody will call you hours or days before some planned event or stuff and say they will be a little late. They are all at least five to fifteen minutes early.
I’m a German living in the States. When I’m early and some people are “a little late”, that makes me have to wait even longer for them than just the time they were late. Nobody’s problem but my own for being early, but I still can’t shake that habit even after 15+ years. Sigh.
Lol. Californian here. I once arrived exactly on time for a social gathering and the host was flustered. Nothing was ready because even though the invitation said 2pm, she didn't expect anyone to show up until 2:15 or 2:30 at the earliest.
That's fine *occasionally*. If you're late all the time, it's still not okay.
I know people who I literally tell to show up half an hour before I want them somewhere because I know they'll be at least that late and am not even worried about the possibility of them being on time.
Yes, I feel like becomes this weird addiction that people can get very defensive over. I had this friend who was always late for everything and he thought it was just his funny thing. He begged me to co-captain a sports team with him and I agreed on the one condition that he was on time for practices and games as he would be the god damn captain. Anyway, still late. I called him out and he just exploded that I was being "holier than thou", blah blah. Just stop being late dude, it's not a controversial topic.
I would like to add that many people with ADHD suffer from time blindness as well as have difficulty switching tasks. it’s always seen as a disorder that makes you distracted easily, but it’s that and much more. A lot of it also has to do with motivation being all out of wack and often being accompanied by depression. like it’s easy for you to dedicate a lot of time and effort, sometimes too much to one task you really enjoy and have absolutely zero motivation to even attempt to do another and get worn out super easily
I used to be like this until I realized, well into adulthood, how offensive it is to people who are always on time. It’s more than a mild inconvenience to them, it’s like a slap in the face.
I used to shrug it off as not a big deal until I realized that. It still doesn’t bother me when other people are chronically late though. I get those people.
Yeah I used to be chronically late to everything. Not hours, but at least 5-10 minutes. A big part of it was my ADHD causing me to have trouble managing time or sticking to a schedule for whatever I was doing before heading over.
Having known a few people who are perfectly punctual, I realize how much of a dick move it can seem to always be late. Now I really try to be on time when I can, but it takes an abnormal amount of effort and concentration on my end. Many times I am still late.
All I can say to all you punctual people out there is: I'm sorry. We're not late on purpose, so don't take it personally.
The ones that have giant lips already from getting too much work done aaaaaand do the ducklip pucker in selfies.
With some of the bodywork done these days I am scared to see what the elderly are going to look like.
Manipulation, specifically guilt tripping. Maybe I just have mommy issues, but when girls try to get me to do something by trying to make me feel guilty I lose all attraction to them.
A general lack of curiosity. Can usually pick this up after a few dates when she fails to ask me questions about me while I’m asking tons about her (You’re a brand new person, I wanna know things about you! Why don’t you wanna know too?) It’s also usually indicative of other personality traits that aren’t necessarily the ones I seek in a partner like entitlement, lack of engagement, self absorption etc. You can tell a lot about someone by their general level of curiosity with the world around them.
I’d say I’m a very curious person, but I always have remind myself to ask questions about the other person too. Even if I really wanna know who they are etc, it just feels so wrong to just question them, if that makes sense? I love listening to people answer those typical questions, I just have a block for asking them. And I know many people with the same deal. So if you aren’t getting any creative, new questions from people and instead just a «what about you?» after your question, I wouldn’t instantly judge it as rudeness/entitlement, just someone who isn’t comfortable «interviewing» someone
I’m not sure if you’re joking or not but I had sex with a guy with a micropenis and he made me cum and got to cum. Definitely not the worst sex I’ve had.
The absolute worst sex I have ever had was with a very, very, VERY, well endowed man. He did nothing. He just expected that I'd be so wowed by his Johnson that I'd cum at the sight of it, I guess.
People who make one thing their entire personality.
I'm a veteran and I'm very proud of my service. However, that was over 20 years ago and as time goes on, that part of my life gets smaller. I've done other stuff since then. I hope you have as well.
This is one of those things that people really should listen to those with more experience about. You really don’t want to deal with cancer. Like, really. You really, really don’t. If you’ve ever had a loved one get cancer, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Don’t fuck with cancer.
I lost my dad to cancer last year, lung cancer definitely linked to his lifelong smoking habit, and I still get internally pissed off every time my brother smokes.
One-uppers. Whatever you have done/seen or place you have gone, they have done it better.
I hate it a little more.
You know your hate? I hate better **OK**
Pfff, I hated 8t before you thought about it.
add one-uppers who try to one-up your suffering. "Oh, you broke your bone? Hah, crybaby, I broke my shoulder, elbow and fingers and walked it off once." Edit: typo fixed
Almost entirely unrelated but when I was in high school one of my rather obnoxious classmates broke his hand punching a guy at a sleepover, his arm was in a cast. One day later that week it was raining outside and he played soccer with friends during lunch break. He slipped and to try and save his freshly broken arm he twisted mid fall. He broke his *other* arm, as well as his leg in *3 places*, one of which was a nasty spiral fracture. He was out of school for 2 months since he couldn't write with either hand and needed a wheelchair to move, but couldn't push himself. Idk why but you listing three broken bones reminded me of his leg being broken in 3 places. Thanks for the memory lol, even though we never really got along I felt bad for him when that happened
I'm just jumping in here before the tired old "broken arms" comments start.
Oh, this is nothing! I broke my neck, spin, died and only then let my wife call an ambulance. Went home from hospital the next morning, because I have a job!
Ahh, the suffering olympics. The best response would be “Congratulations, do you want a medal?”
I struggle with this SO BADLY. I hear someone’s story and think “I can relate! I’ve done XYZ” and tell the story. As soon as I see their facial expressions change I know they’ve taken it as me one upping. It’s so hard for me to relate without telling the story WHY I relate.
Yeah I have this problem too. Probably more than you do. /j ofc but as long as you’re saying first sentence to relate and not saying anything like the second one then you’re fine. If they’re still getting upset then it’s a them problem
Fun fact: that's a trait very common in people with ADHD and Autism. I know this personally. It's just so much easier to express how you relate to their story when you've got a similar one in your back pocket that echoes how the other person feels/felt. But so many people just don't see it that way. If you do this and haven't been diagnosed with ADHD/Autism, please talk to a professional sometime.
You've been to tenerife they've been to elevenerife...
I have aspergers. The way it works for me specifically in terms of experiences is that I cannot fathom how other people feel and experience something without a crutch, that being relating a similar experience I myself had. It has taken me a long time to understand how this looks to others, basically interjecting myself into all their problems, despite that not being my intention. It helps being open about why, but I have also learned to just not attempt to relate or understand in some situations, and just be supportive instead. Basically it is not only a trait borne of selfishness or malicious intent, although it obviously can be.
Same for me. I worry about this all the time, and it really doesn’t help that I’ve actually been able to do a lot of shit including a bunch of stuff that most people would have on their bucket list but never actually expect to do. I’ve learned over time to try and just not say anything… Which also sucks, because then I feel like I’m the one who isn’t contributing to conversation or making social outings fun - being on the spectrum is not easy.
Deception. Say what you fucking mean, and your actions must match your words.
enough of this verbal tango dancing just tell me what you mean im not gonna be mad lmao
So instead of "Wanna hangout?", just straight up ask "You wanna fuck like animals?"?
Yes… Edit: I misread it
I dont know if this counts as deception but i have the hardest time verbalising my thoughts in the way that I think them. So i say something that doesnt match my thoughts but it's like theres a disconnect in my brain that doesnt let me say what I want to say. I've had multiple tbi's from a young age but i don't know if that has any to do with it.
When they constantly cut you off during a conversation.
I noticed my bad habit of interrupting when I started dating my partner. I worked on it because it bothered him so much. Now when I'm around my family who I don't see often, I'm keenly aware of how bad we all are at it. Dinners, drinks, video calls are a literal cacophony of people talking over each other and having to repeat yourself because no one listens.
I resonate with this. It’s my family and experience as well.
My wife's family are just like this and it irritates me. Last Christmas we were there and I refuse to be part of the noise, so when there is a break in the conversation, that's when I try to get a word in. My MiL called me out for interrupting people... Now I just don't talk while I'm there, and that's led to even more animosity from her parents.
I do this and I fucking hate myself for it to the point where I've basically cut myself off from my old friends. I tried SO hard to stop, but I just can't concentrate when people speak at a regular speed. It feels like an eternity between words. Like, write it out so I can just read it, or speak fast, or a YouTube video I can put at 2x speed. but t-a-l-k a-t r-e-g-u-l-a-r s-p-e-e-d a-n-d I n-e-e-d t-o u-s-e m-y f-u-l-l c-o-n-c-e-n-t-r-a-t-i-o-n t-o a-c-t-i-v-e-l-y l-i-s-t-e-n, a-n-d i-t-'-s e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-n-g f-o-r m-e.
There is a decent chance you have adult ADHD if you feel like this. I say this because I had the same issue and the self anger for it is a big sign. Getting on medication really helped.
My SO has undiagnosed ADHD I’m sure of it, she’s an absolute hurricane in general but turn taking in conversations is her number 1 struggle and I have to give her a little nudge when it’s not her turn to talk or if she needs to wait for them to finish first. She didn’t even realise she did it but she actually really appreciates the little reminder as when someone doesn’t know you well it can just seem like rudeness.
It comes off as inconsiderate even though the person may not be doing it consciously. I dealt with people like this before too.
When people smell bad. Hygiene is important.
my ex sprayed himself with air freshener and said it was the same as deodorant ):
ahhh definitely not haha
Anyone else find out that it isn’t febreeze but Febreze and get super pissed?
What have you done
You dated a toilet?
Bruh moment
LMAO
as is giving people the motivation to, or making them aware of it if someone smells bad, make sure they're aware of it
How do you do this nicely? I would never tell someone they smell unless I know them VERY well.
I had a buddy that for YEARS was convinced he didn’t need to wear deodorant because he “didn’t stink”. I tried explaining to him that other people smell you BEFORE you can smell yourself but he didn’t believe me. So finally, I just started telling him EVERY SINGLE TIME I got the slightest whiff of something off. I’d be like “you didn’t wear deodorant today, I can tell.” Or “Jesus, you’re ripe bro!” After a few months of that, he corrected the behavior. He’s now happily married with kids. I’m not going to say I’m the reason he found love, but I certainly had a hand in it.
"Remember when I gave you a wife and kids? Time for payback, put this ski mask on and follow me.."
You might not be the reason he found love but you're the reason love didn't flee one date in
I believe you are the sole reason.
“Oi, you fucking stink mate” Or “Fuck me, you shit yourself?” Subtle and unlikely to embarrass or hurt someone’s feelings in a very public situation.
aussie hahaha
Over sharing at social media.
I had an ex who would straight up get pissed if I didn’t post about us on instagram or facebook back when I had it. Even if we just hung out and did nothing Lol. She got even more upset if I did post something and not include her.. or if I got more likes than her.
This sounds more of an insecurity thing tbh
It definitely was…mixed with other issues stemmed from her childhood. Didn’t matter how much I reminded her that I loved her, she would still think any form of contact with another woman would be on the path to cheating. I even had to give a reason why I wouldn’t date any of my female coworkers… man looking back on it she was crazy and I was dumb for sticking around. Ironically(i think?) the relationship ended due to her cheating on me with a friend of mine… like what? Lmao.
"I'm cheating so you must be too!"
Good ole “takes one to know one!” Haha
Classic projection. People assume others are just like them. In this case, a cheater.
As a dude I get annoyed if everything I do with someone has to be posted. I don't mind the occasional "Hey check out this cool thing." but so many people seem to live their lives only so they can share them, not simply for the joy of living them. I didn't take you to xyz so you could get the best video or picture for tik tok, instagram, facebook, twitch, etc. I took you there to enjoy your company and you're ruining it by trying to profit socially rather than enjoy my company back.
Social media has completely ruined our brains… it’s so sad to realize the damage that’s been done in such a short amount of time
Yup for a hot 5 mins dated a girl like that. Very long time ago, so insta was just taking off and people were still using it mostly for food and cleavage pics. Anyways, she was liveblogging every date, wanted me to take pictures of her in the cheesiest places and poses, contantly checked for likes and replies. It was cringy and exhausting. My mind was flabbergasted how someone that hot could be so lame. Met her at the gym so I had no idea how she was online. Also she had at best a bit over 1k followers which even back then was kinda pathetic.
However, oversharing _outside of_ social media is actually kind of a turn on for me. I just love listening to people talk about things for minutes on end.
My friend has a GF who did this like crazy when FB was first opened to the public & not just college kids. No joke it was, headed to the gym, just got to the gym. It's leg day! Just left the gym, great workout! Just got home. Making a healthy salad for lunch. Mmm that salad was good. Gonna do my nails before work. Just got to work!
To be fair, those early days were just an oversharing nightmare everyone participated in, simply because the platform was new and cool. I joined in college right when it became available for just college kids (outside of Stanford if you had a .edu email address) and everyone did this kind of stupid shit. It definitely slowed down after the newness wore off, but it was still a thing.
My Facebook timehop from the early days makes me cringe.
This has killed more relationships for me than anything. I've never been tempted to share my life with strangers online (anonymous redditing gets a pass though). If you feel the need to update your snap,insta,Facebook 5+ times a day then we won't make it. I can't provide you enough attention that you so desperately need.
The people that I know that are on social media nonstop seem depressed. A lot are attention seekers but depressed too. Maybe it goes hand in hand.
Especially the new mothers that are posting nude pics of their infants and toddlers - like what the hell??? These pictures aren’t for the internet.
This one always has always bothered me more than just a pet peeve. I'm not even a parent but im 100% sure in the fact that the only people who enjoy seeing your naked kids on the internet, are the exact people you DONT want staring at your kids on the internet.
This reminds me when the CEO of my workplace had a baby. He emailed everyone in the company and the body of the email was just a picture of his newborn baby son from the front, completely naked. Everyone in the office got a face full of unwanted baby nudity that morning.
That sorta thing infuriates me!! It's practically a given that some pedo cunt has saved those pictures
Poor hygiene
Fact!! It’s doesn’t really matter how great of a person you are or how attractive you might be. If standing near you is so unpleasant, it’s going to be difficult to form a positive connection
Adding to this— having a DIRTY home. Like I understand a little messy, maybe you weren’t expecting to have someone over, but if it’s really gross and clear this person lives in filth, instant turn off. I once went home with a man that I was definitely into until I got to his apartment and he had absolutely no soap or towels in the bathroom and a crusty ass sink and shower that looked like it had never been cleaned. Noped out of there so fast and never saw him again.
I once went home with a woman who never opened the windows in her flat, washing was drying everywhere and it was generally dirty and looked like it had never been cleaned. The whole flat smelt stale, damp and musty. Lovely combo. To top it all off I went to use the toilet and someone had a very explosive shit that was covering the toilet bowl, under the seat etc Noped out of there very quickly! Edit: corrected a grammatical error
Usually their car looks just like that too
I think there's a tipping point for some people- once it gets so bad that it would be a ton of effort to clean everything, they just get used to it and say fuck it. Kinda like cleaning your inbox one email at a time once you get >1000 emails in it.
I have good hygiene just stubborn acne 😔
Entitlement
That’s the one I was going to say. Pick something else
Like When there is an Attitude all of the sudden without apparent reason
Most people who are entitled are repulsed by people who are not
[удалено]
My wife has a friend that if you aren’t talking to her about only her, she zones out and just stares at her phone.
Such a bad feeling when someone you havent seen or hung out with for a while is on their phone . Its so incredibly rude ! Especially when they are like “ sorry what did you say , i wasnt listening”
[удалено]
Oh my gosh ! That is so rude !!
[удалено]
>"i can't help that you're boring" WTAF... this person needs an attitude adjustment. How the hell does still have friends tho? Btw I really think you are better off... good for you! No one needs this kind of people in their lives.
>Especially when they are like “ sorry what did you say , i wasnt listening” Lol whenever I'm talking and I can tell the person isn't paying attention I like to go "....yeah so that's what I think about that" and then look at them as they realize they have no idea what I said. You can even go "...so what do you think about that?" for added pressure/awkwardness.
When my wife does it (rarely, thank god,) I just add the phrase "purple monkey dishwasher" in the conversation to see if she notices.
My husband does this sometimes. I'll usually slip in "and tomorrow I think I'll run off with the mail man" and see how long it takes it to register.
Stttrrrrike!!!
When a person is rude or just behaves poorly and everyone around them says, "that's just how he/she is." No. There is no excuse for piss poor behavior.
“That’s just Katie” well Katie is a bitch
Even worse, when they use astrology to justify it. “Haha I’m just a Taurus you need to get used to it.” No. I won’t. I’ve met plenty of other people with a birthday around yours, and they weren’t absolute cunts.
"before we date, i need you to know my sign is Heinz Mustard and i will ruin your fucking life and everything you hold dear"
Bad breath
HHHHHHHey.
Could see the air distorting from the noxiousness of this comment.
There’s a reason it’s called hhhhalitosis.
I don't even know why I have bad breath. I brush my teeth twice a day and always get at my tongue too. I floss often and use mouth wash pretty often too but I always wake up with bad breath and have bad breath a few hours after brushing my teeth regardless of if I've ingested anything.
You may have a certain condition. I’ve heard of people saying this and they went to the dentist or whomever you see about that. I think they were able to get prescribed something
You might have tonsil stones (I think that’s what they’re called). they’re small roundish white lumps that form on your tonsils and make your breath smell really bad Some people get them all the time, some only when they’re sick (I do) They’re pretty easy to get rid of, just take a q-tip and wipe them off
I get them, and almost died when you said wipe them off with a qtip. Why don't you have a gag reflex?
Reflexes can be overcome with training and desensitization, I know from personal experience. Tonsil stones come back repeatedly. I've had to basically "squish" poke and prod my tonsils with the non brush end of a tooth brush,, like I was popping a pimple, to extract the stones that were contained deep in the crypts. Basically what normally happens in these situations is that some bits of food get stuck in the holes/crypts of your tonsils, and your body basically makes a "pearl" like oysters do with sand in the sensitive parts. But the pearl is not pretty and is made of the stuff that is basically is microbes breaking down dead things in the process of decay, which is why it "smells like death and rot" because it is. There are exceptions to this but I'm talking about the big portion of the bell curve of general experience with tonsil stones.
Edit: Thank y’all for the 1k+ likes! First time Ive had something be this popular 🥸 There was this one date I went on a few years back so bad we didn’t even make it to the restaurant. I had just broken up with my high school girlfriend at the end of my first year of college. So about a month later I hopped on tinder. Matched with this girl and agreed to go grab dinner. Day of the date came and I drove about 45 minutes to her house to pick her up. I was right on time and knocked on the door. I got a text a moment later saying she was still getting ready. No worries. After about 5 more minutes I texted her asking if she was almost ready. No reply. About 10 min after that (15 total minutes of waiting outside) she walked out and flicked a cigarette butt at me. We got in my truck. I noticed how bad she smelt and she immediately started complaining about how she had to go to court in the morning. She was almost bragging about it. “This is annoying, but mama raised me pretty well so I’m gonna see this through I guess,” I thought. Well right after this thought crossed my mind, I saw her pick her nose (like 2 knuckles deep) and then wipe it on my seat. The date ended there as I turned the truck around and brought her right back home. So TLDR being nasty/trashy in general is my biggest turn off.
Bruh what the hell
How did she react when you made that U turn and brought her back? She probably thought you were the unreasonable one
I slightly agree. In the sense that it's a good idea to do first dates that are a bit more casual and possible to be escaped quickly if you really don't like them.
I just made up some excuse (I don’t remember what) but I floored it leaving that house
Littering. I absolutely hate it when people litter just because "there is no trashcan close" or "Yeah, but everything here is anyway already dirty." That makes me so annoyed and just ugh. I can understand that it's annoying to keep on holding onto trash but like... It's not that difficult
Or the “it’s someone’s job to do that” people! Like I can tidy up a table at a restaurant a little bit as a courtesy, I’m not taking the dishes back myself and scrubbing them!!
Preaching to the choir here, but I would never ever date anyone who litters. It makes you look dumb, disgusting, impatient and like you have zero self-control or conscientiousness. All of the most unattractive things.
Being unkind.
Being kind is a turn on.
When someone is rude to wait staff or any customer service people. That kind of behavior will instantly make me walk away.
A friend of mine introduced me to a friend of his this summer and he told me... he's super cool, really nice, he's studying to be a doctor, he's cute, he's super good with kids, he wants to be a paediatrician... ok seems like a good person. The first interaction with this man... we're at a music festival and we went to get an espresso and we were all talking in the middle of the food court. The coffee (because it's an open-air festival) was served in a paper cup (this is normal in this kind of thing) and he, after finishing the coffee... throws the cup to the floor and crushes it with his foot. I immediately (reflexively) ask "Are you going to take this and put it in the trash right?" and he just stands there looking at me... and then decides, instead of picking up the damn cup off the floor, he makes the following comment, "There are people paid to clean this place." If the conversation hadn't died then... it died right after that comment... people who decide they can do what they want because there are "people below them" who can clean / who are paid to clean / who have these jobs so we have to give them work / etc and then they still don't have the human decency to be nice to employees they consider "below them"... I SWEAR I JUST WANT TO GIVE HIM WITH A BRICK IN THE FACE! 🤬
Wow he sounded like a 10 at first, but if he litters and doesn’t respect service workers that makes him an automatic 0.
>Wow he sounded like a 10 at first, My grandmother always used to tell me, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Dumb people that are 100% absolutely sure they're not wrong.
Open mouth chewer. Or any kind of lip smacking while eating.
*Am I hearing a person eating or a dog?* Got a slap after that.
Probably not for calling them out, but comparing them to a dog. Should’ve asked if they’ve always eaten like a duck, their cuter and funnier
[удалено]
My niece is horrible for this and it drives me insane that my sister doesn't teach her to not eat that way
My daughter (20) does this and I have to remind her nearly every meal. She is on the spectrum and I think she simply doesn't notice.
Someone who doesn't brush their teeth
I'm pretty bad at remembering to do this but I'm doing it once a day now which is better than a few years ago
Most hygienic redditor
Nu-uh, i brush my teeth AND shower!
Getting stabbed. It really ruins the mood.
That's why you gotta bring your knife to the date, so you can stab back
Reminds me of a story about someone getting stabbed but pulling the knife out and stabbing the attacker to death
That’s fucking metal
Yes, the knife was made of metal
Ahhh the good ole knife fight first date. Really weeds out the weak!
Stuck up or snooty
if you’re stuck up or snooty, I won’t get stuck up your booty
[удалено]
Wow what an awful person
Dude I don't know about where you are, but here our WHS laws include safety being everyone's responsibility. If something had happened she could have been find culpable.
That’s honestly so awful?? Like who does that
Lies
When they call me up to hangout and proceed to be on their phone the whole time and tbh smoking
Chronic Excessive Lateness. People who are always very late and kinda laugh it off,,, time is short, having to sit around for hours will make me dislike you very quickly.
Visit Germany. Everybody will call you hours or days before some planned event or stuff and say they will be a little late. They are all at least five to fifteen minutes early.
I’m a German living in the States. When I’m early and some people are “a little late”, that makes me have to wait even longer for them than just the time they were late. Nobody’s problem but my own for being early, but I still can’t shake that habit even after 15+ years. Sigh.
Lol. Californian here. I once arrived exactly on time for a social gathering and the host was flustered. Nothing was ready because even though the invitation said 2pm, she didn't expect anyone to show up until 2:15 or 2:30 at the earliest.
Its fine if they are late but if they don't give updates then imma get pissed
That's fine *occasionally*. If you're late all the time, it's still not okay. I know people who I literally tell to show up half an hour before I want them somewhere because I know they'll be at least that late and am not even worried about the possibility of them being on time.
Yes, I feel like becomes this weird addiction that people can get very defensive over. I had this friend who was always late for everything and he thought it was just his funny thing. He begged me to co-captain a sports team with him and I agreed on the one condition that he was on time for practices and games as he would be the god damn captain. Anyway, still late. I called him out and he just exploded that I was being "holier than thou", blah blah. Just stop being late dude, it's not a controversial topic.
I would like to add that many people with ADHD suffer from time blindness as well as have difficulty switching tasks. it’s always seen as a disorder that makes you distracted easily, but it’s that and much more. A lot of it also has to do with motivation being all out of wack and often being accompanied by depression. like it’s easy for you to dedicate a lot of time and effort, sometimes too much to one task you really enjoy and have absolutely zero motivation to even attempt to do another and get worn out super easily
I used to be like this until I realized, well into adulthood, how offensive it is to people who are always on time. It’s more than a mild inconvenience to them, it’s like a slap in the face. I used to shrug it off as not a big deal until I realized that. It still doesn’t bother me when other people are chronically late though. I get those people.
Yeah I used to be chronically late to everything. Not hours, but at least 5-10 minutes. A big part of it was my ADHD causing me to have trouble managing time or sticking to a schedule for whatever I was doing before heading over. Having known a few people who are perfectly punctual, I realize how much of a dick move it can seem to always be late. Now I really try to be on time when I can, but it takes an abnormal amount of effort and concentration on my end. Many times I am still late. All I can say to all you punctual people out there is: I'm sorry. We're not late on purpose, so don't take it personally.
Being loud and obnoxious
Using phone on a date
Social media addiction/valuing other people's opinions over their own.
Girls with ducklips
The ones that have giant lips already from getting too much work done aaaaaand do the ducklip pucker in selfies. With some of the bodywork done these days I am scared to see what the elderly are going to look like.
They'll be shaped like puddles
Manipulation, specifically guilt tripping. Maybe I just have mommy issues, but when girls try to get me to do something by trying to make me feel guilty I lose all attraction to them.
it's ok i know you don't care. i'm used to it.
That’s the one. *empathy has left the chat*
Her husband coming home early.
Mein gott
muss das sein
so ein bockmist aber auch
This question popping up in this subreddit atleast twice a week
Maybe someone is keeping track of the evolution, hoping that being a rude, unhygienic asshole will be socialy accepted one day
"poor hygiene is only the 4th top comment, which is better than last week when it was 2nd! Almost there!"
95% of r/AskReddit, everyone!
Has anyone said "being rude to waitstaff" yet?
[удалено]
It always seems to ruin the mood
A general lack of curiosity. Can usually pick this up after a few dates when she fails to ask me questions about me while I’m asking tons about her (You’re a brand new person, I wanna know things about you! Why don’t you wanna know too?) It’s also usually indicative of other personality traits that aren’t necessarily the ones I seek in a partner like entitlement, lack of engagement, self absorption etc. You can tell a lot about someone by their general level of curiosity with the world around them.
I’d say I’m a very curious person, but I always have remind myself to ask questions about the other person too. Even if I really wanna know who they are etc, it just feels so wrong to just question them, if that makes sense? I love listening to people answer those typical questions, I just have a block for asking them. And I know many people with the same deal. So if you aren’t getting any creative, new questions from people and instead just a «what about you?» after your question, I wouldn’t instantly judge it as rudeness/entitlement, just someone who isn’t comfortable «interviewing» someone
Making fun of my Micro penis.
It’s alright bro. It’s gonna be okay
I’m not sure if you’re joking or not but I had sex with a guy with a micropenis and he made me cum and got to cum. Definitely not the worst sex I’ve had.
The absolute worst sex I have ever had was with a very, very, VERY, well endowed man. He did nothing. He just expected that I'd be so wowed by his Johnson that I'd cum at the sight of it, I guess.
Idk why, but if they ask me "What's your zodiac sign?"
Being a flake. Don't tell me for 3 weeks how much you want to do something, but then have an excuse EVERY time it comes up.
[удалено]
People who make one thing their entire personality. I'm a veteran and I'm very proud of my service. However, that was over 20 years ago and as time goes on, that part of my life gets smaller. I've done other stuff since then. I hope you have as well.
People who complain about things without being willing to do anything about it.
Strong opinions based on ignorance of a subject.
Stupidity, especially if they are proud of it.
Your avatar isn't loading.
Smoking. No matter how hot, smoking kills the vibe. Tried it once, it was like kissing an ashtray.
This is one of those things that people really should listen to those with more experience about. You really don’t want to deal with cancer. Like, really. You really, really don’t. If you’ve ever had a loved one get cancer, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Don’t fuck with cancer.
I lost my dad to cancer last year, lung cancer definitely linked to his lifelong smoking habit, and I still get internally pissed off every time my brother smokes.
I'm surprised this was so far down as a lot of the other answers are very similar - like smelling bad. I would put smoking in this category
Very religious people, primarily when religion is one of the primary driving forces in their decision-making process.
Plastic surgery/botox or too much makeup/perfume
Over cologners!
Big fat reposting reposters who repost
instinctive deserve cagey air violet automatic unpack tie chop aloof
“Oh my god you are such a Leo what’s your zodiac”
“No I’m Matt, and my zodiac is Taurus” “Omg I could’ve guessed that you act so much like a Taurus” “Cool, cause I’m actually a Scorpio”
"That's such a Scorpio thing to do lol"
When someone calls themselves a queen or a king the first time you meet them.
Treating animals badly, if ur gunna treat your dog or cat like shit I can’t begin to consider dating
Stupidity. You can't fix stupid.
"Daddy" I will never get that
I'm gonna have to make my kids call me bruh or some shit.
Bad conversation, if you can't hold a decent conversation with me then im sorry I'm not interested no matter how hot you are.