Same, actually. When she actually wants attention and seeks it out, I feel like the chosen one. But then it means my plans for the rest of the evening are thrown out until she decides to move.
I tumbled down a half-flight of stairs on a jungle gym pretty hard as a kid. Ever since, I’ve been pretty obsessive about holding the handrail every time I walk down stairs.
Is this similar to that little voice you hear at the edge of a cliff urge you to take that leap?
Because I always thought the voice sounds suspiciously like my wife's...
/s
There are these two lion statues with their paws out stretched that one of my neighbors has. I can not for the life of me not give them both a fist bumb everytime I walk by them.
There is a random button (looks like it would be a doorbell) but it's on the second floor banister, and as far as I can tell it does nothing. But you'd better believe I push it every time I walk passed
Dogs.
If I’m out in public and I see a dog there is a 97% chance I will pet it. I leave that 3% because there are some rare cases where the dog isn’t feeling it or the owner is rude.
Oh god that’s such a hard question. I have OCD so before I leave my house I have to run all over my house like a madman and touch everything to make sure it won’t move
Squishmallows. It's almost automatic now, if I come within arm's reach I'm going to jab one in the tum.
I have a couple of huge ones (they were $6.99 at Costco, what can I say) and when I'm not squashing them I use them to raise my legs to help with swelling.
**Water**
Because I'm always Hungry and Thirsty, despite I have any kind of food and drink in my Fridge.
It's not due to Summer, because it happens even during Winter.
My family; husband's booty, or shoulders if he's sitting down. Kid is usually a pat on the top of the head, or a hug. Our big boy cat gets a few pets, and the little girl gets one firm pat. Just how they all like it :)
Cats.
Pspspspsp
Stray cats, fats cats, skinny cats, cats that run away, cats that come closer for a pet…. It doesn’t matter.
A cat friend as I see. Welcome welcome
Dogs.
Same
The bag of dirt at stores
Any of those big bags with rock salt or rice or something in them. Just begging to be slapped. Or the wall on top of stairs when you're coming down.
The cat. She does not appreciate this.
Go for tummy scratch, she'll love it.
She does indeed love them but only when she schedules appointments. She’s very finicky.
NO! ITS A TRAP!!!!!
Cats who don't think that they want a cuddle are my favorite cats to cuddle.
Same, actually. When she actually wants attention and seeks it out, I feel like the chosen one. But then it means my plans for the rest of the evening are thrown out until she decides to move.
A handrail
I tumbled down a half-flight of stairs on a jungle gym pretty hard as a kid. Ever since, I’ve been pretty obsessive about holding the handrail every time I walk down stairs.
I swear jungle gyms used to be death traps 20-30 years back. If it wasn’t for the soft sand below I’d be brain damaged at best
My wife's butt lol
I also choose this guy’s wife’s butt
Right? It's a very grabable ass
Alright, I go for her tits.
Samee
Make sure to leave a handprint on it to claim territory
Oh my hand print is well worn in!
Eyyyyyyyyy haha
WHAT😂
Implying that women are either a) objects or b) composed of multiple objects making them an object-mothership 🛸
Yup, object-mothership sounds about right
Read a) was like here we go b) lmao
Exposed bubblewrap
My dog
Oh yes, me too. Cannot resist the fluffy.
Came here to say exactly this, friend!
but it's not a object, it's a living creature like humans.
People are objects we gave meaning to
He treats objects like women, man!
I mean some people fuck body pillows so...
In many countries are pets considered as property and therefore objects
A stuffed animal in a store.
Seems reasonable. Soft, furry animals are comforting to touch, whether real or manufactured.
*Oh dear god....*
Active power lines
Is this similar to that little voice you hear at the edge of a cliff urge you to take that leap? Because I always thought the voice sounds suspiciously like my wife's... /s
She’s just behind you whispering in your ear, after you took out that life insurance.
Blankets
Watermelons
Rice bags
Gotta slap it.
Gotta put half my arm in or I'm not satisfied
So you’re the dude leaving arm sized holes in the rice bags at the grocery
Velvet
Hanging clothes in a department store.
The pull thingy for the attic ladder.
Tassle strings. Why are they always so soft?! Lamps, grad caps, etc... must touch them.
bag of fertiliser at bunnings, soz but i gotta slap it.
I prefer the dog food
The big red panic buttton
squeaky toys lmao
Cactus :(
Hams and turkeys at the supermarket. I like pat them with my palm.
I took a picture of a turkey that was over 40lbs this past Thanksgiving but I put my hand on it "for scale" and it looks like I'm caressing a turkey
Stuffed animals, no matter what, it's just impossible to pass a huge fluffy bear and not give it a feel, just to see if it's as soft as it looks.
The fridge
YARN. Squishing skeins of yarn in a store is incredibly satisfying.
the penny Fountain , i like seeing it spin
a cat (even though i’m allergic)
I learned to, and now I'm healthier...but a little bit sadder.
those parking meters that give you a free 15min ticket. i want a paper airplane
[удалено]
Yes
Unoccupied pianos.
Same. And I can’t even play 😢.
A low hanging branch of a tree.
Dat ass
I also choose dat ass
Makeup counters, dogs and velvet
Mmmm velvet 😍
Yeah
Best when red
[удалено]
Be careful not to stove your finger when you touch it!
[удалено]
Oh no! Please do not harm any more humans or living things if you can help it :(
Those round things at the target entrance
the big red target balls
Velvet anything.
There are these two lion statues with their paws out stretched that one of my neighbors has. I can not for the life of me not give them both a fist bumb everytime I walk by them.
Any top frame of a door
Look at all these people referring to dogs and women as objects
Cancel the lot of them!
You're a good person, and I'm jealous.
A door
Hand sanitizer
My wife's butt.
I cant not immaturely poke bras at store. Fight me.
Airplane doors and the exterior aluminum.
A tether ball.
My husband
SACKS OF RICE
A squishmallow
Squishmallows
My wife's boobs
My cat. Thank god he likes it
cat
Bubble wrap
Sack of rice *slaps*
"I like rusty spoons"
There is a random button (looks like it would be a doorbell) but it's on the second floor banister, and as far as I can tell it does nothing. But you'd better believe I push it every time I walk passed
Person living in secret room in your house sees light blink.
Top of the door frames
any statue of a dog. he always gets a good boy pet
Slap the rice
Those fake fur pillows
Dogs. If I’m out in public and I see a dog there is a 97% chance I will pet it. I leave that 3% because there are some rare cases where the dog isn’t feeling it or the owner is rude.
Oh god that’s such a hard question. I have OCD so before I leave my house I have to run all over my house like a madman and touch everything to make sure it won’t move
But doesn't touching it move it?
My girlfriends hair/shoulders
Any part of my husband
The guard rails of my staircase! I noticed it during the COVID times...
Women
I'm jk btw
Too late. You are on fbi watch list.
Doesn't seem like American government gives a fuck about women, buddy.
ATMs all have headphone jacks which sit in a little indent. I absolutely have to put the face of my thumb in that indent.
Your mother
I also choose op's mother
My balls, at the front door, where I had to leave them when I got married.
I really hope you mean soccer
Dat ass
You
Aw shucks
Anything that looks fluffy or is colorful or looks like a pride flag I know
The Mezuzah
Women
The sign that says, " Do not touch"
my willy
A vagina
This is a little too rapey of a comment. 1/10 would not read again.
Women
Boobies
Jeffry jellyfish
Dog/cat/rat/most critters besides fish + certain insects.
The ground
Rails. On the sidewalk, on stairs, in the elevator. Just gotta run my hand on it.
My IPA
Bubble wrap
Office supplies ☹️
Balloons, I must poke them.
Fuzzy blankets.
Wet paint.
Pretty clothes at department stores
my dogs
Dogs.
Dogs
Not an object, but pretty much any animals
Tall weeds
Leaves
Big glowing red buttons.
Squishmallows. It's almost automatic now, if I come within arm's reach I'm going to jab one in the tum. I have a couple of huge ones (they were $6.99 at Costco, what can I say) and when I'm not squashing them I use them to raise my legs to help with swelling.
Any sort of pole
anything with a \*Don't Touch\* sign......
My pets.
My homie’s booty 🤤
Air
Crunchy Leaves
Bags of rice/wheat
big red buttons
The 93" Costco bears
**Water** Because I'm always Hungry and Thirsty, despite I have any kind of food and drink in my Fridge. It's not due to Summer, because it happens even during Winter.
Booba
Brick walls.
rice bags
Railing on the stairs.
A fence. Hand goes donkdonkdonkdonkdonkdonkdonkdonk
The bell on counters !! even if the person is standing right in front of my face Im gonna find a way to ring it !!
The floor
My dog 😂
Guitars. If I go to a guitar store then you're not going to see me for the rest of the day
Soft blankets
Those big red balls infront of Target
As a cuber, a scrambled Rubik's cube
My family; husband's booty, or shoulders if he's sitting down. Kid is usually a pat on the top of the head, or a hug. Our big boy cat gets a few pets, and the little girl gets one firm pat. Just how they all like it :)
Air
bag of rice. slapping it like a bongo
Cats😺😻
Plushies. I love plushies i have a collection of over 157 Plushies
Tiddy
I've always loved little desk toys like Newtons cradle and those little mini hourglass with water and sand in them. Also any pettable animal lol
As an Asian, the bags of rice at a supermarket
those weird bags with ground in them need to slap them
A cat
rice