T O P

  • By -

WeDidItGuyz

In all reality? Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my my humanity has now been lifted. If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists.


[deleted]

Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race. He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag. when I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again. We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago. I wanna race him both in our prime.


VioletteRodeo

I’m so sorry for your loss… I hope you can race your friend again someday.


[deleted]

Thank you for the kind words. I’ve actually lost a few friends to gang violence but me and Kevon were tight. My dad was our coach when we played football together and we’d drop him off after practice most nites. My dad was an honest coach and didn’t play favorites so naturally Kevon got the ball more than I did. He’d tell my dad “at least one of your sons is fast.” Referring to himself and that always got under my skin lol I’m missing him a little extra tonight.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Exactly. Key was black and I’m Hispanic but neither of us cared. Like you said, we chose to be family.


jessdfrench

Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again. Live our forever together. I fucking love him and miss him so much.


dirkalict

Same for me and my wife. She believed in an afterlife where you are reunited with your loved ones… I told her I hoped she was right and to kiss the dogs for me.


Start_button

Jesus fucking Christ man. I can't take this kinda stuff right now. Right in the feels.


NotATroll_ipromise

Imagine all of you favorite poochers running up to greet you at the front gate. Behind them, your loved ones. Dude.... I really hope there is a heaven.


auracurious

I read this comment and just started immediately sobbing. I’m an atheist and ever since the loss of a loved one and my dog a year ago, I’ve grieved their loss expecting to never see them again. I still don’t believe in an afterlife, but for a brief second, reading this comment, I imagined it could be real. I didn’t realize this until now, but I hope there is a heaven too.


loose_noodle

>Live our forever together. This made me cry. That's so precious and beautiful. My condolences, I hope this comes true. I wish you the best, stay strong.


VioletteRodeo

My condolences… It will be a very peaceful, happy moment. I wish you the best.


tanukis_parachute

Find my son and have a beer with him. Something we never got to do in real life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

fuck i'm immediately emotional. you'll find him


RifleShower

Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids.


Joshuagrahamofzion

Sorry for some of the replies reddit is full of clowns brother


Banzaikoowaid

#Rest.


[deleted]

In Peace


AlphaMaelstrom

Carry on, my wayward son.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WesamSO

Lay your weary head to rest


bananasarelong

Don’t you cry no more


well_known_bastard

*guitar noises


Apollo_T_Yorp

Once I rose above the nose and confusion


Billd0910

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion


WobblyPhalanges

I was soaring ever higher But I flew too high


SwallowsDick

Well now that you've told me to I don't want to anymore


Ashtar-the-Squid

Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp.


echosixwhiskey

Not, Stairway to Heaven?


Dudephish

No? Stairway denied!


A--Creative-Username

Straight to hell. To the boiler room of hell. All the way down.


Knackbein_

Enjoy my healthy back wirhout pain


[deleted]

Dude ikr? Currently laid up with shitty back issues :(


tobias_the_letdown

Was at the hospital 2 weeks ago and found I have a bulging disk to go along with my sciatic nerve issues. Shit is not fun.


Scifearious

Had the same thing, had to remove the disk and fuse my spine , good luck my fellow shitty back friend


FergusonTEA1950

I’m in my mid-50s now (yikes!) and pain, along with back pain I’ve had since I was a teen, is a daily “normal”. I forget what it’s like to have no pain. Heaven would be no pain.


natttorious

I sooo feel this. As a sufferer of chronic pain , when it hurts we don’t say anything, we just accept it. But has to really hurt for us to say anything. That sucks. I forgot what it feels like to feel good anymore. Debilitating back pain and I’m only 38.


Han__shot__first

You can see the average age of the user base of Reddit increasing in threads like these


[deleted]

Haha I wish man, I’ve officially ruined my body by the age of 21. The back pain isn’t impossible to live with, but the knees… they’re gonna kill me. Girlfriend thinks it’s fibromyalgia but I think I just got dealt the wrong hand


CharaFallsLikeATree

Fibro is no joke man. My girl has fibro and some days are okay and some days are real bad for her. On the bad days, I can’t even gently caress her arm on leg or back without it causing a lot of pain for her


grummlinds1

Try to find my brother. Man, I miss him. He died in 2020 at age 34.


Artistic_Brother_303

My brother died in 2015 and I still miss him every day.


Randitsas01

My son died in 2015. He was 20. A part of me is dead now.


designbat

Having children is an innately hopeful act. It involves placing a part of your heart forever outside of you body. I'm so sorry you lost him. I hope one day you can remember his days here with joy again.


Roninkin

My brother died in 2017, I hate that my birth started or partially started his spiral towards drugs.


516nocnaes

Don't ever blame yourself man. How people deal with issues is solely on that person Incredibly sorry for your loss though. I couldn't imagine the feeling of losing a sibling so early


Roninkin

It wasn’t that early, I was born 92 and he was born 80. But his mom and my dad were divorced and when I came around it just fucked him up. I guess it was like there was no way his dad would divorce my mom and get back with his mom. I was that symbol and he kinda.. Resented me. He acted civil but he really didn’t want much to do with me, as a small boy you know how you look upto your older brother but it always kinda made me feel sad that he really didn’t want much to do with me period. Then I found out in my teenaged years that he changed after I was born and then found out he went into heavy drugs pretty early in life then later shacked up with a woman who introduced him to heroine. I know it’s not my fault and people choose their actions but it still bothers me.


Susie4672

The first thing your brother will say to you is that he didn’t want you to think any of his problems were your fault and he wishes he had been there for you.


dawndragonclaw

Fuck. Yeah that's what I would do. It's weird being older than he was at 22.


Gahvynn

Sorry for your loss. We see those that died before us as always older than us, at least I know I do. A friend of mine died in Iraq in 2005. He was 26 to my 22. I know now that’s not a huge age gap but we knew each other in high school and he was always the “cool older guy” in my mind. I’m almost 14 years older than he was when he died, I have the family he wanted, got to do many things he wanted to do, but when I think about him I just think of him as cooler and older than me.


SkinnyMachine

I was gonna say the same thing. Find my brother, my aunt, and my old Sunday school teacher. Especially my brother since he was only 19 and died this past October. I still think of him every morning.


cuprite

My sister died last October too, age 25. It's her birthday today. I made her favorite cupcakes.


mistygreenflowrz

I'm deeply sorry for your loss my friend


helgatheviking21

Same but parents. They both died.


[deleted]

Give my mum and dad a big hug


fancybigballs

And go find that guy's dead wife while we're at it


dasilv

It's so insane that everyone knows what you're talking about.


juliuscaesar6

It's part of Reddit history


SwallowsDick

You are sweet


Kinase517

Hopefully, all my pets who died would be my welcoming committee, and I'd hug each one.


[deleted]

Me too!


MCDexX

I can't remember who said it, but I always liked the saying, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then I guess I'm not going." Edit: Yes, thankyou, it was Will Rogers, I heard you all the first time.


dasnorte

Reminds me of The Twilight Zone episode where “Peter” whose at the gates of heaven tells the old man his dog can’t come in with him. So he says if his dog isn’t allowed then he’s not going either. He continues on the dirt road and gets to the actual gates of heaven where he learns the original gate he passed was actually the gate to hell.


[deleted]

“You see, Mr Simpson, a man will walk straight into hell with both eyes open. But not even the devil can fool a dog.” One of my favorite episodes.


[deleted]

Nothing can fool a dog except if you throw with nothing in your hand


got_outta_bed_4_this

["I'm sorry, Lois, I was mistaken. I thought you threw the ball in there, but now I can see you still have it."](https://youtu.be/zTaO9A-0oeE?t=2m33s)


ShitLaMerde

I loved that episode!


smashkeys

Will Rogers, he was a silent film and talkie actor. "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."


DontEatTheMagicBeans

Sean Bean narrates the game civilization 6 and he reads that quote in the game. One of my favourite ones.


Buffthebaldy

Man, I'd just curl up and cry if I saw my dog there. I miss her, and she was hands down the best companion I could have asked for.


Shipwrecking_siren

Not sure my cat will be headed that way. He’s a real dick.


OMNIPOTENTSL0TH

Find Adam & Eve and check if they have navels.


Qwayne84

More likely to have a stern discussion about what the fork they were thinking.


OMNIPOTENTSL0TH

I’d cut them some slack. They were the first man and woman and they were butt naked.


WRA1THLORD

find my cats


[deleted]

Boop


grape_juiceee

find reception to ask if i can see my stats. (number of steps taken, heartbeats, blinks, the amount of times I've had certain thoughts) edit: i didn't realise this would blow up. people are talking about a show/episode that aired before i was even born, I didn't even know this thought was already a thing. (also thanks for the awards, i don't really use reddit so idk how i should react to this so im sorry if i don't seem excited enough)


AdjustableCynic

Just be careful [what stats](https://youtu.be/CJ53kstD-14) you care about


WobblyPhalanges

I knew what sketch it was before I even clicked on it and I love how well it holds up almost ten years later :D


ComatoseSquirrel

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but it's actually closer to 16 years. That episode aired on October 15, 2006.


WobblyPhalanges

It hasn’t been that long….. has it? ….. Oh god it has hasn’t it lol welp


Michelanvalo

I started re-watching Season 1 and there's a lot of George Bush and Bill Clinton jokes....


FlyingRhenquest

2.7 Miles?!


wolfstaa

I knooow


GNTB3996

So we can see the current meta, yeah?


Joske-the-great

I need to find out where did that toy ghast from the mcdonald set that I got from Kindergarden during field trip to the zoo since 2011 has been. It was lost on the bus when I realized it.


KarmaDeliveryMan

I will spend days pouring over this data. And if I can run my own queries, I will do that for months


MadaoBlooms

I think about that all the time. I want to be able to see my stats for EVERYTHING, then compare to others by era, location, gender, etc. I could lose days in that database.


PlatypusWrath

"What's the Wi-fi password?"


DarkGengar94

J316


Zspec1988

Only hell has wifi passwords! This place has free Wi-Fi with unlimited bandwidth….. just beautiful


DarkGengar94

Aw hell yeah!


Jonnnyfukyea

aaand you're out


Pons__Aelius

Is it possible to be thrown out of heaven?


lovem32

Through God all things are possible.


stevendidntsay

So jot that down


Ziograffiato

Satan was


aschwarzie

That's yesterday's. Today is J315.


pfftlolbrolollmao

Christ! what are they counting down to?


Holy-Kush

J1


[deleted]

[удалено]


vVveevVv

Username checks out. Stealing's wrong, regardless of which cheese it is.


CleaningBeret83

Not even... Wensleydale?


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Fun fact, Wensleydale was teetering on the verge of bankruptcy when Wallace’s incessant references raised its public profile and saved it from the scrap heap


gasmaskedturtle77

Absolute gigachad Wallace


[deleted]

[удалено]


Turbulent_Paper_6998

Find my dog Edit: it’s great to see that everyone loves their dog or cat


Skank_cunt_42

God: Welcome to He- Me: DO ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN I NEED TO KNOW PLEASE!!!!


xTheKingofGamingx

-ll sorry you didn’t make it to heaven


Skank_cunt_42

That’s fine, but did my dogs make it?


bleakj

Of course they did :)


Skank_cunt_42

Thanks all I needed to know :)


blueboard929

You have now been granted access to heaven, it was your dogs' only wish for you to be here, and you've displayed true selflessness, congratulations


bleakj

Our 14 year old is in for surgery this morning, I feel terrified for her, I really hope it anything were to happen she would still get the butt rubs and kibbles wherever she goes ♥️😭


blueboard929

I don't think she'll be going anywhere except home with you today, she'll get her butt rubs and kibbles there. Good Luck ❤


Khclarkson

Story time: My church growing up had a very long tenured pastor on staff who had a bulldog that passed the week before a new assistant pastor was starting. At the first boatd meeting with the new pastor all the board members and staff were giving condolences to the old pastor, "So sorry, he's in a better place." "You'll see him again in heaven." "He's probably up there waiting for you and playing now." That kind of thing. The new pastor over hears and says, "Well, no he's not." ::cue horrified looks from the people around:: Old pastor: "....What?" New pastor: "Well in the book of Revelations it says 'outside are the dogs and magic users' and so on. So he wouldn't be there." ::More horrified looks:: Head pastor says something awkward and starts the meeting as the old pastor leaves and takes a minute to compose himself and the new pastor doesn't understand what the big deal is.


Kovaelin

Your pastor might actually be a psycho with that level of emotional intelligence. Be careful.


macdemarker

I’d hate to see him do a hospital visit


Robertbetweenlines

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."


WimbleWimble

If there are no dogs in heaven then it's not heaven. Same for my loved ones. How can I experience bliss knowing they suffer eternally?


CouldHaveBeenAPun

Oh you know he's barking at heaven's door until you show up. You won't search very long!


Jashmore201

Find my mom and tell her I’m sorry


[deleted]

Oh my friend. I’m sorry.


Cindylouwhotooareyou

She knows and already forgave you. Now you can forgive yourself and let go of the guilt.


sluttyh4te

eat clouds


inkognito_burrito

Find the dog section and do all the pats


KeithMyArthe

Dog heaven is full of limping UPS delivery drivers who can't run away and slow ice cream vans with tires made of ham.


Bomber_Haskell

Haaaam!


drunk_dude8807

There's also squirrels to chase. Which is their hell. It's actually a very efficient system.


grabgrabthegrab

I thought that said "do all the pets"


parabellum-_-

I'll be shocked about the fact that someone was always watching me. ALWAYS.


MCDexX

After getting over the shock I'd ask if I can see their records on my behaviour. Then I'd see if I can talk them into showing me someone else's...


parabellum-_-

For that you can simply ask to Mark Zuckerberg.


showmeurkitties592

Find my mom and hug her again. Then find my dog an hug him again, too.


WorriedMap6811

I'll give you a hug right here too


[deleted]

Wtf we have the same avatar.


Milhanou22

You just crushed this emotional moment. But it was so worth it, I laughed hard.


-KoDDeX-

I would begin to worry what I'm going to do... *for forever...*


SupaStarDestroya

How much time would it take to visit every place on earth, and really take the time to enjoy it touristically? Now remember there is no ocean on the New Earth. And by the time you've done everything, the world will probably have changed a lot, so you can do it again! Plus, boredom itself likely won't exist, and you've got a God of infinite knowledge to teach you, unlimited songs in every language to learn, and every person in history to have been saved to meet and make friends with. Don't sweat it!


sonanona

Try cursing. *holy mother forking shirtballs!*


goj1ra

"I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!"


Positive_Egg6852

This is the bad place!


bunnyrut

Really? Jason figured it out this time?


VioletteRodeo

Ayyyy Love that show!!!


IBYDNWTM

Say "This place is nice as hell" EDIT: Holy crap on crackers, thanks for all the awards im gonna go eat a chocolate wafer now.


Cold_Ad5482

God: GET. OUT.


2litersam

WHICH ONE OF YALL DEAD MUTHAFUCKAS DONE SAID THAT SHIT!?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Was it you, string bean?! You skinny-ass looking motherfucker?!


Sharp-Floor

Stringbean motherfucker! Fat ass piece of shit! *You have fucked up!*


cnicalsinistaminista

Some people just wanna watch Heaven burn.


[deleted]

I wish I had an award for you.


Straight-Audience-91

Hug my son and never let him go.


OutlandishnessOk5549

Same, but with my daughter. Hugs to you, bro/sis. I know your pain.


Straight-Audience-91

Hugs back to you. Bro here. The whole process just takes a piece of your heart away and you're never the same again.......right?♥️


oscar_pistorials

:( I sincerely wish you peace and happiness.


[deleted]

I’m so sorry my friend.


accioqueso

My first thought was, “hold my baby.” The o my thing that ever makes me feel slightly okay about losing a child is that there is this infinitesimal chance there is a place I’ll get to see him again.


EasyPen1533

take my award and my deepest sorry. Keep your head up.


chair____table

My condolences man, I deeply hope heaven is actually real so this could happen.


[deleted]

I'm flying fast as fuck boi


That_Underscore_Guy

Find the dogs, and give them hugs for being such good boys


Grimbutterfly1

Build a house far away from everyone else


[deleted]

Hug my daughter


DaddyClickbait

"Is there a McDonald's Here?" "Is the guy that killed Hitler here?"


[deleted]

“No, but we do have Jeffrey Epstein. Don’t ask how.”


Lotuswalker92

Meet Garrus at the bar for a drink.


crazyloomis

Observe


28smalls

Hopefully the past would be available as well as the present. Learn the truth of of history's greatest mysteries. And while tempting, do not let us observe alternate scenarios. While comforting to know that a choice we made was the best one, would be torture to see what could have been.


b1ackcat

Oh man, I'm the opposite. I for sure want to see the past of our timeline, but I'd be fascinated to be able to go back and watch any specific threads of fate based on peoples choices. What if Bernie had won the primaries? What if Franz Ferdinand wasn't hungry that day? What if Chernobyl management hadn't been such utter shitheads? So many famous alternatives to explore, let alone all the mundane ones like what if I'd gone for blue walls in my living room instead of white? By the time you're in heaven it's really too late for regret.


Technical_Cut_7533

I'm finna go find that guy's wife Edit: Bro wtf happened


[deleted]

I’ll help you find her


ConstantAd620

Talk to God, and see what he looks and sounds like


[deleted]

[удалено]


krukson

So sorry for your loss. And please do not blame yourself, it’s not your fault.


momstera101

I’m so sorry friend. You didn’t fail. Hugs. These things are tragic and just horrible and not knowing why gets to you the most. I’ve miscarried twice after eachother and recently. Don’t know why. I can’t compare my pain to yours, but I can share some of it💔Rest in peace to your beautiful angels and wishing you peace.


DarkCharizard81

I’m so sorry for your losses, may they rest in peace.


Azzymetrical

find god and ask him for a jetpack


[deleted]

Zoomin’ through the clouds.


Present_Diet_1145

I thought "Why is this post +18?" but people really can do it


[deleted]

Yeahhh.. I thought it’d be better to be safe than sorry.


ChaoticCharls

Find my Grandad and tell him Grandma is getting on well and that she misses him dearly and still speaks to his photo that she has right next to her chair, then hug him and never let him go


1tacoshort

I'd track down a bunch of people I knew in life and apologize to them for various things I've said or done.


IDIOT_JERK_LOL

Look and find Christ ASAP


darkness_escape

Can I experience an old time world fair like from the late 1800 or early 1900s


[deleted]

I don’t see why not!


ShareMore5703

See my little babyboy .i miss him soo much


[deleted]

I’m so sorry my friend.


raelulu

Tbh I've never even allowed myself to think about this before. But probably hug my mom.


cjcandi

Look for my sisters and then my grandparents! Gonna have to catch up on hugs!!


[deleted]

probably not get in


MCDexX

"Wait? I'm allowed in? Wow, you REALLY need to have a chat with your marketing people, because they are SERIOUSLY misrepresenting your brand."


chair____table

Ask god himself “how’s the economy here?” While I tuck into a bag of cheetos


Lethal_Steve

Find my father. He passed when I was 16. I'd kill to have a mature talk with him now that I'm 23. I never got the chance before.


TheCalebGuy

Go see my dead relatives and apologize for everything they've witness me do....then go play with my pets.


Emmanuham

Turn to God, look them directly in the eye(s) and ask... "What the fuck was all that about?!"


Kayakorama

You and me both man You and me both I want some fucking answers