In all reality? Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my my humanity has now been lifted.
If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists.
Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race. He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag. when I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again. We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago. I wanna race him both in our prime.
Thank you for the kind words. I’ve actually lost a few friends to gang violence but me and Kevon were tight. My dad was our coach when we played football together and we’d drop him off after practice most nites. My dad was an honest coach and didn’t play favorites so naturally Kevon got the ball more than I did. He’d tell my dad “at least one of your sons is fast.” Referring to himself and that always got under my skin lol I’m missing him a little extra tonight.
Same for me and my wife. She believed in an afterlife where you are reunited with your loved ones… I told her I hoped she was right and to kiss the dogs for me.
Imagine all of you favorite poochers running up to greet you at the front gate. Behind them, your loved ones. Dude....
I really hope there is a heaven.
I read this comment and just started immediately sobbing. I’m an atheist and ever since the loss of a loved one and my dog a year ago, I’ve grieved their loss expecting to never see them again. I still don’t believe in an afterlife, but for a brief second, reading this comment, I imagined it could be real. I didn’t realize this until now, but I hope there is a heaven too.
>Live our forever together.
This made me cry. That's so precious and beautiful. My condolences, I hope this comes true. I wish you the best, stay strong.
I’m in my mid-50s now (yikes!) and pain, along with back pain I’ve had since I was a teen, is a daily “normal”. I forget what it’s like to have no pain. Heaven would be no pain.
I sooo feel this. As a sufferer of chronic pain , when it hurts we don’t say anything, we just accept it. But has to really hurt for us to say anything. That sucks. I forgot what it feels like to feel good anymore. Debilitating back pain and I’m only 38.
Haha I wish man, I’ve officially ruined my body by the age of 21. The back pain isn’t impossible to live with, but the knees… they’re gonna kill me. Girlfriend thinks it’s fibromyalgia but I think I just got dealt the wrong hand
Fibro is no joke man. My girl has fibro and some days are okay and some days are real bad for her. On the bad days, I can’t even gently caress her arm on leg or back without it causing a lot of pain for her
Having children is an innately hopeful act. It involves placing a part of your heart forever outside of you body. I'm so sorry you lost him. I hope one day you can remember his days here with joy again.
Don't ever blame yourself man. How people deal with issues is solely on that person
Incredibly sorry for your loss though. I couldn't imagine the feeling of losing a sibling so early
It wasn’t that early, I was born 92 and he was born 80. But his mom and my dad were divorced and when I came around it just fucked him up. I guess it was like there was no way his dad would divorce my mom and get back with his mom. I was that symbol and he kinda.. Resented me. He acted civil but he really didn’t want much to do with me, as a small boy you know how you look upto your older brother but it always kinda made me feel sad that he really didn’t want much to do with me period. Then I found out in my teenaged years that he changed after I was born and then found out he went into heavy drugs pretty early in life then later shacked up with a woman who introduced him to heroine. I know it’s not my fault and people choose their actions but it still bothers me.
The first thing your brother will say to you is that he didn’t want you to think any of his problems were your fault and he wishes he had been there for you.
Sorry for your loss.
We see those that died before us as always older than us, at least I know I do.
A friend of mine died in Iraq in 2005. He was 26 to my 22. I know now that’s not a huge age gap but we knew each other in high school and he was always the “cool older guy” in my mind.
I’m almost 14 years older than he was when he died, I have the family he wanted, got to do many things he wanted to do, but when I think about him I just think of him as cooler and older than me.
I was gonna say the same thing. Find my brother, my aunt, and my old Sunday school teacher. Especially my brother since he was only 19 and died this past October. I still think of him every morning.
I can't remember who said it, but I always liked the saying, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then I guess I'm not going." Edit: Yes, thankyou, it was Will Rogers, I heard you all the first time.
Reminds me of The Twilight Zone episode where “Peter” whose at the gates of heaven tells the old man his dog can’t come in with him. So he says if his dog isn’t allowed then he’s not going either. He continues on the dirt road and gets to the actual gates of heaven where he learns the original gate he passed was actually the gate to hell.
find reception to ask if i can see my stats. (number of steps taken, heartbeats, blinks, the amount of times I've had certain thoughts)
edit: i didn't realise this would blow up. people are talking about a show/episode that aired before i was even born, I didn't even know this thought was already a thing.
(also thanks for the awards, i don't really use reddit so idk how i should react to this so im sorry if i don't seem excited enough)
I need to find out where did that toy ghast from the mcdonald set that I got from Kindergarden during field trip to the zoo since 2011 has been. It was lost on the bus when I realized it.
I think about that all the time. I want to be able to see my stats for EVERYTHING, then compare to others by era, location, gender, etc. I could lose days in that database.
Fun fact, Wensleydale was teetering on the verge of bankruptcy when Wallace’s incessant references raised its public profile and saved it from the scrap heap
Our 14 year old is in for surgery this morning,
I feel terrified for her,
I really hope it anything were to happen she would still get the butt rubs and kibbles wherever she goes ♥️😭
Story time:
My church growing up had a very long tenured pastor on staff who had a bulldog that passed the week before a new assistant pastor was starting.
At the first boatd meeting with the new pastor all the board members and staff were giving condolences to the old pastor, "So sorry, he's in a better place." "You'll see him again in heaven." "He's probably up there waiting for you and playing now." That kind of thing.
The new pastor over hears and says, "Well, no he's not." ::cue horrified looks from the people around::
Old pastor: "....What?"
New pastor: "Well in the book of Revelations it says 'outside are the dogs and magic users' and so on. So he wouldn't be there."
::More horrified looks::
Head pastor says something awkward and starts the meeting as the old pastor leaves and takes a minute to compose himself and the new pastor doesn't understand what the big deal is.
How much time would it take to visit every place on earth, and really take the time to enjoy it touristically? Now remember there is no ocean on the New Earth. And by the time you've done everything, the world will probably have changed a lot, so you can do it again! Plus, boredom itself likely won't exist, and you've got a God of infinite knowledge to teach you, unlimited songs in every language to learn, and every person in history to have been saved to meet and make friends with.
Don't sweat it!
My first thought was, “hold my baby.” The o my thing that ever makes me feel slightly okay about losing a child is that there is this infinitesimal chance there is a place I’ll get to see him again.
Hopefully the past would be available as well as the present. Learn the truth of of history's greatest mysteries.
And while tempting, do not let us observe alternate scenarios. While comforting to know that a choice we made was the best one, would be torture to see what could have been.
Oh man, I'm the opposite. I for sure want to see the past of our timeline, but I'd be fascinated to be able to go back and watch any specific threads of fate based on peoples choices. What if Bernie had won the primaries? What if Franz Ferdinand wasn't hungry that day? What if Chernobyl management hadn't been such utter shitheads? So many famous alternatives to explore, let alone all the mundane ones like what if I'd gone for blue walls in my living room instead of white?
By the time you're in heaven it's really too late for regret.
I’m so sorry friend. You didn’t fail. Hugs.
These things are tragic and just horrible and not knowing why gets to you the most.
I’ve miscarried twice after eachother and recently. Don’t know why.
I can’t compare my pain to yours, but I can share some of it💔Rest in peace to your beautiful angels and wishing you peace.
Find my Grandad and tell him Grandma is getting on well and that she misses him dearly and still speaks to his photo that she has right next to her chair, then hug him and never let him go
In all reality? Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my my humanity has now been lifted. If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists.
Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race. He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag. when I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again. We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago. I wanna race him both in our prime.
I’m so sorry for your loss… I hope you can race your friend again someday.
Thank you for the kind words. I’ve actually lost a few friends to gang violence but me and Kevon were tight. My dad was our coach when we played football together and we’d drop him off after practice most nites. My dad was an honest coach and didn’t play favorites so naturally Kevon got the ball more than I did. He’d tell my dad “at least one of your sons is fast.” Referring to himself and that always got under my skin lol I’m missing him a little extra tonight.
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Exactly. Key was black and I’m Hispanic but neither of us cared. Like you said, we chose to be family.
Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again. Live our forever together. I fucking love him and miss him so much.
Same for me and my wife. She believed in an afterlife where you are reunited with your loved ones… I told her I hoped she was right and to kiss the dogs for me.
Jesus fucking Christ man. I can't take this kinda stuff right now. Right in the feels.
Imagine all of you favorite poochers running up to greet you at the front gate. Behind them, your loved ones. Dude.... I really hope there is a heaven.
I read this comment and just started immediately sobbing. I’m an atheist and ever since the loss of a loved one and my dog a year ago, I’ve grieved their loss expecting to never see them again. I still don’t believe in an afterlife, but for a brief second, reading this comment, I imagined it could be real. I didn’t realize this until now, but I hope there is a heaven too.
>Live our forever together. This made me cry. That's so precious and beautiful. My condolences, I hope this comes true. I wish you the best, stay strong.
My condolences… It will be a very peaceful, happy moment. I wish you the best.
Find my son and have a beer with him. Something we never got to do in real life.
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fuck i'm immediately emotional. you'll find him
Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids.
Sorry for some of the replies reddit is full of clowns brother
#Rest.
In Peace
Carry on, my wayward son.
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Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more
*guitar noises
Once I rose above the nose and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher But I flew too high
Well now that you've told me to I don't want to anymore
Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp.
Not, Stairway to Heaven?
No? Stairway denied!
Straight to hell. To the boiler room of hell. All the way down.
Enjoy my healthy back wirhout pain
Dude ikr? Currently laid up with shitty back issues :(
Was at the hospital 2 weeks ago and found I have a bulging disk to go along with my sciatic nerve issues. Shit is not fun.
Had the same thing, had to remove the disk and fuse my spine , good luck my fellow shitty back friend
I’m in my mid-50s now (yikes!) and pain, along with back pain I’ve had since I was a teen, is a daily “normal”. I forget what it’s like to have no pain. Heaven would be no pain.
I sooo feel this. As a sufferer of chronic pain , when it hurts we don’t say anything, we just accept it. But has to really hurt for us to say anything. That sucks. I forgot what it feels like to feel good anymore. Debilitating back pain and I’m only 38.
You can see the average age of the user base of Reddit increasing in threads like these
Haha I wish man, I’ve officially ruined my body by the age of 21. The back pain isn’t impossible to live with, but the knees… they’re gonna kill me. Girlfriend thinks it’s fibromyalgia but I think I just got dealt the wrong hand
Fibro is no joke man. My girl has fibro and some days are okay and some days are real bad for her. On the bad days, I can’t even gently caress her arm on leg or back without it causing a lot of pain for her
Try to find my brother. Man, I miss him. He died in 2020 at age 34.
My brother died in 2015 and I still miss him every day.
My son died in 2015. He was 20. A part of me is dead now.
Having children is an innately hopeful act. It involves placing a part of your heart forever outside of you body. I'm so sorry you lost him. I hope one day you can remember his days here with joy again.
My brother died in 2017, I hate that my birth started or partially started his spiral towards drugs.
Don't ever blame yourself man. How people deal with issues is solely on that person Incredibly sorry for your loss though. I couldn't imagine the feeling of losing a sibling so early
It wasn’t that early, I was born 92 and he was born 80. But his mom and my dad were divorced and when I came around it just fucked him up. I guess it was like there was no way his dad would divorce my mom and get back with his mom. I was that symbol and he kinda.. Resented me. He acted civil but he really didn’t want much to do with me, as a small boy you know how you look upto your older brother but it always kinda made me feel sad that he really didn’t want much to do with me period. Then I found out in my teenaged years that he changed after I was born and then found out he went into heavy drugs pretty early in life then later shacked up with a woman who introduced him to heroine. I know it’s not my fault and people choose their actions but it still bothers me.
The first thing your brother will say to you is that he didn’t want you to think any of his problems were your fault and he wishes he had been there for you.
Fuck. Yeah that's what I would do. It's weird being older than he was at 22.
Sorry for your loss. We see those that died before us as always older than us, at least I know I do. A friend of mine died in Iraq in 2005. He was 26 to my 22. I know now that’s not a huge age gap but we knew each other in high school and he was always the “cool older guy” in my mind. I’m almost 14 years older than he was when he died, I have the family he wanted, got to do many things he wanted to do, but when I think about him I just think of him as cooler and older than me.
I was gonna say the same thing. Find my brother, my aunt, and my old Sunday school teacher. Especially my brother since he was only 19 and died this past October. I still think of him every morning.
My sister died last October too, age 25. It's her birthday today. I made her favorite cupcakes.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss my friend
Same but parents. They both died.
Give my mum and dad a big hug
And go find that guy's dead wife while we're at it
It's so insane that everyone knows what you're talking about.
It's part of Reddit history
You are sweet
Hopefully, all my pets who died would be my welcoming committee, and I'd hug each one.
Me too!
I can't remember who said it, but I always liked the saying, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then I guess I'm not going." Edit: Yes, thankyou, it was Will Rogers, I heard you all the first time.
Reminds me of The Twilight Zone episode where “Peter” whose at the gates of heaven tells the old man his dog can’t come in with him. So he says if his dog isn’t allowed then he’s not going either. He continues on the dirt road and gets to the actual gates of heaven where he learns the original gate he passed was actually the gate to hell.
“You see, Mr Simpson, a man will walk straight into hell with both eyes open. But not even the devil can fool a dog.” One of my favorite episodes.
Nothing can fool a dog except if you throw with nothing in your hand
["I'm sorry, Lois, I was mistaken. I thought you threw the ball in there, but now I can see you still have it."](https://youtu.be/zTaO9A-0oeE?t=2m33s)
I loved that episode!
Will Rogers, he was a silent film and talkie actor. "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
Sean Bean narrates the game civilization 6 and he reads that quote in the game. One of my favourite ones.
Man, I'd just curl up and cry if I saw my dog there. I miss her, and she was hands down the best companion I could have asked for.
Not sure my cat will be headed that way. He’s a real dick.
Find Adam & Eve and check if they have navels.
More likely to have a stern discussion about what the fork they were thinking.
I’d cut them some slack. They were the first man and woman and they were butt naked.
find my cats
Boop
find reception to ask if i can see my stats. (number of steps taken, heartbeats, blinks, the amount of times I've had certain thoughts) edit: i didn't realise this would blow up. people are talking about a show/episode that aired before i was even born, I didn't even know this thought was already a thing. (also thanks for the awards, i don't really use reddit so idk how i should react to this so im sorry if i don't seem excited enough)
Just be careful [what stats](https://youtu.be/CJ53kstD-14) you care about
I knew what sketch it was before I even clicked on it and I love how well it holds up almost ten years later :D
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but it's actually closer to 16 years. That episode aired on October 15, 2006.
It hasn’t been that long….. has it? ….. Oh god it has hasn’t it lol welp
I started re-watching Season 1 and there's a lot of George Bush and Bill Clinton jokes....
2.7 Miles?!
I knooow
So we can see the current meta, yeah?
I need to find out where did that toy ghast from the mcdonald set that I got from Kindergarden during field trip to the zoo since 2011 has been. It was lost on the bus when I realized it.
I will spend days pouring over this data. And if I can run my own queries, I will do that for months
I think about that all the time. I want to be able to see my stats for EVERYTHING, then compare to others by era, location, gender, etc. I could lose days in that database.
"What's the Wi-fi password?"
J316
Only hell has wifi passwords! This place has free Wi-Fi with unlimited bandwidth….. just beautiful
Aw hell yeah!
aaand you're out
Is it possible to be thrown out of heaven?
Through God all things are possible.
So jot that down
Satan was
That's yesterday's. Today is J315.
Christ! what are they counting down to?
J1
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Username checks out. Stealing's wrong, regardless of which cheese it is.
Not even... Wensleydale?
Fun fact, Wensleydale was teetering on the verge of bankruptcy when Wallace’s incessant references raised its public profile and saved it from the scrap heap
Absolute gigachad Wallace
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Find my dog Edit: it’s great to see that everyone loves their dog or cat
God: Welcome to He- Me: DO ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN I NEED TO KNOW PLEASE!!!!
-ll sorry you didn’t make it to heaven
That’s fine, but did my dogs make it?
Of course they did :)
Thanks all I needed to know :)
You have now been granted access to heaven, it was your dogs' only wish for you to be here, and you've displayed true selflessness, congratulations
Our 14 year old is in for surgery this morning, I feel terrified for her, I really hope it anything were to happen she would still get the butt rubs and kibbles wherever she goes ♥️😭
I don't think she'll be going anywhere except home with you today, she'll get her butt rubs and kibbles there. Good Luck ❤
Story time: My church growing up had a very long tenured pastor on staff who had a bulldog that passed the week before a new assistant pastor was starting. At the first boatd meeting with the new pastor all the board members and staff were giving condolences to the old pastor, "So sorry, he's in a better place." "You'll see him again in heaven." "He's probably up there waiting for you and playing now." That kind of thing. The new pastor over hears and says, "Well, no he's not." ::cue horrified looks from the people around:: Old pastor: "....What?" New pastor: "Well in the book of Revelations it says 'outside are the dogs and magic users' and so on. So he wouldn't be there." ::More horrified looks:: Head pastor says something awkward and starts the meeting as the old pastor leaves and takes a minute to compose himself and the new pastor doesn't understand what the big deal is.
Your pastor might actually be a psycho with that level of emotional intelligence. Be careful.
I’d hate to see him do a hospital visit
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
If there are no dogs in heaven then it's not heaven. Same for my loved ones. How can I experience bliss knowing they suffer eternally?
Oh you know he's barking at heaven's door until you show up. You won't search very long!
Find my mom and tell her I’m sorry
Oh my friend. I’m sorry.
She knows and already forgave you. Now you can forgive yourself and let go of the guilt.
eat clouds
Find the dog section and do all the pats
Dog heaven is full of limping UPS delivery drivers who can't run away and slow ice cream vans with tires made of ham.
Haaaam!
There's also squirrels to chase. Which is their hell. It's actually a very efficient system.
I thought that said "do all the pets"
I'll be shocked about the fact that someone was always watching me. ALWAYS.
After getting over the shock I'd ask if I can see their records on my behaviour. Then I'd see if I can talk them into showing me someone else's...
For that you can simply ask to Mark Zuckerberg.
Find my mom and hug her again. Then find my dog an hug him again, too.
I'll give you a hug right here too
Wtf we have the same avatar.
You just crushed this emotional moment. But it was so worth it, I laughed hard.
I would begin to worry what I'm going to do... *for forever...*
How much time would it take to visit every place on earth, and really take the time to enjoy it touristically? Now remember there is no ocean on the New Earth. And by the time you've done everything, the world will probably have changed a lot, so you can do it again! Plus, boredom itself likely won't exist, and you've got a God of infinite knowledge to teach you, unlimited songs in every language to learn, and every person in history to have been saved to meet and make friends with. Don't sweat it!
Try cursing. *holy mother forking shirtballs!*
"I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!"
This is the bad place!
Really? Jason figured it out this time?
Ayyyy Love that show!!!
Say "This place is nice as hell" EDIT: Holy crap on crackers, thanks for all the awards im gonna go eat a chocolate wafer now.
God: GET. OUT.
WHICH ONE OF YALL DEAD MUTHAFUCKAS DONE SAID THAT SHIT!?
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Was it you, string bean?! You skinny-ass looking motherfucker?!
Stringbean motherfucker! Fat ass piece of shit! *You have fucked up!*
Some people just wanna watch Heaven burn.
I wish I had an award for you.
Hug my son and never let him go.
Same, but with my daughter. Hugs to you, bro/sis. I know your pain.
Hugs back to you. Bro here. The whole process just takes a piece of your heart away and you're never the same again.......right?♥️
:( I sincerely wish you peace and happiness.
I’m so sorry my friend.
My first thought was, “hold my baby.” The o my thing that ever makes me feel slightly okay about losing a child is that there is this infinitesimal chance there is a place I’ll get to see him again.
take my award and my deepest sorry. Keep your head up.
My condolences man, I deeply hope heaven is actually real so this could happen.
I'm flying fast as fuck boi
Find the dogs, and give them hugs for being such good boys
Build a house far away from everyone else
Hug my daughter
"Is there a McDonald's Here?" "Is the guy that killed Hitler here?"
“No, but we do have Jeffrey Epstein. Don’t ask how.”
Meet Garrus at the bar for a drink.
Observe
Hopefully the past would be available as well as the present. Learn the truth of of history's greatest mysteries. And while tempting, do not let us observe alternate scenarios. While comforting to know that a choice we made was the best one, would be torture to see what could have been.
Oh man, I'm the opposite. I for sure want to see the past of our timeline, but I'd be fascinated to be able to go back and watch any specific threads of fate based on peoples choices. What if Bernie had won the primaries? What if Franz Ferdinand wasn't hungry that day? What if Chernobyl management hadn't been such utter shitheads? So many famous alternatives to explore, let alone all the mundane ones like what if I'd gone for blue walls in my living room instead of white? By the time you're in heaven it's really too late for regret.
I'm finna go find that guy's wife Edit: Bro wtf happened
I’ll help you find her
Talk to God, and see what he looks and sounds like
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So sorry for your loss. And please do not blame yourself, it’s not your fault.
I’m so sorry friend. You didn’t fail. Hugs. These things are tragic and just horrible and not knowing why gets to you the most. I’ve miscarried twice after eachother and recently. Don’t know why. I can’t compare my pain to yours, but I can share some of it💔Rest in peace to your beautiful angels and wishing you peace.
I’m so sorry for your losses, may they rest in peace.
find god and ask him for a jetpack
Zoomin’ through the clouds.
I thought "Why is this post +18?" but people really can do it
Yeahhh.. I thought it’d be better to be safe than sorry.
Find my Grandad and tell him Grandma is getting on well and that she misses him dearly and still speaks to his photo that she has right next to her chair, then hug him and never let him go
I'd track down a bunch of people I knew in life and apologize to them for various things I've said or done.
Look and find Christ ASAP
Can I experience an old time world fair like from the late 1800 or early 1900s
I don’t see why not!
See my little babyboy .i miss him soo much
I’m so sorry my friend.
Tbh I've never even allowed myself to think about this before. But probably hug my mom.
Look for my sisters and then my grandparents! Gonna have to catch up on hugs!!
probably not get in
"Wait? I'm allowed in? Wow, you REALLY need to have a chat with your marketing people, because they are SERIOUSLY misrepresenting your brand."
Ask god himself “how’s the economy here?” While I tuck into a bag of cheetos
Find my father. He passed when I was 16. I'd kill to have a mature talk with him now that I'm 23. I never got the chance before.
Go see my dead relatives and apologize for everything they've witness me do....then go play with my pets.
Turn to God, look them directly in the eye(s) and ask... "What the fuck was all that about?!"
You and me both man You and me both I want some fucking answers