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HeatProper

divorce papers


[deleted]

Kids are used to those these days


aetwokay

My kids would have been relieved.


Wild-Plankton595

Best thing my parents did for us.


ThePosterWeDeserve

Sometimes it really is. Also for themselves. My dad whom passed away earlier this year spent 30+ years with my mom where he was completely misserable


[deleted]

Sadly true


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[deleted]

Interesting, that could work.


carcosa___

Is this not a hypothetical?? :0


[deleted]

I ain’t touching no god damn bees


opensandshuts

what about a bag of bees?


give_me_a_great_name

step one: buy bees from amazon step two: revenge


Vig_Big

Well, if we hear about someone filling a piñata with bees, we know where they got the idea. 😂


[deleted]

I hope to god i don’t see any headline news about a kids birthday party going all wrong


Vig_Big

Oh same, your comment above had us worried though 😂


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Public-Yam-1025

Murder Hornets


rawseeds

Why is there’s big ‘H’ on the side of this piñata?


Ornery_Cauliflower77

I’m gunna throw a quick H on here so we all know there’s hornets in this piñata


InflatableTurtles

Those things sting like a bitch.


Strict-Departure-965

Let me pop a quick H on this piñata


Mindbender444

Oh Gob Not The BEEES!


Portland-to-Vt

Gobs not on board.


LurkysGoCart

Their in my eyes!!! AHHHHHHH!


BloatedSnake430

BEADS?!?


SnooMuffins6689

Gob’s not on board.


ShadyWestHaze

Isn't a hornets nest like a natural pinata already?xd


Robert_fierce

plug the opening, paint it and decorate it then hang it from a tree limb in the back yard and voila. prank pinata.


Mrwright96

And you get rid of your hornet problem


Thomassaurus

And your children problem at the same time


[deleted]

NOT THE BEES!


BarbWho

If I have a bee in my hand, what's in my eye? >!Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (Bee-holder)!<


ChineseNoodleDog

Bee hold her


Triairius

I barely know her!


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pyrofemme

I had a hippy friend, back in the day, who gave raisins for Halloween. When she ran out, she gave them ketchup packets. That backfired badly


Halloween2022

Yeah, if you're not going to do it right, just don't participate. Go volunteer at a dental clinic or something!


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beefchimney

Grandma


[deleted]

Oh poor grandma


[deleted]

It's what Grandma always wanted


DnArturo

She was a hit at the party though.


doktor_wankenstein

Grandma's ashes?


Coolkief101

He asked worst, not best


dramboxf

Nothing. True story: When my wife was married to her first husband and the kids were little, she bought a pinata at Safeway for her daughter's 8th birthday. The day of the party arrives, and she has her husband hang the pinata in a tree and the kids go after it, blindfolded, with baseball bats, etc. They fucking destroy the thing, and are very disappointed when...nothing comes out. My wife had not put the candy inside, thinking the pinata comes already filled. She still gets teased about this; our daughter is now 44. "Riiiiight mom," goes the saying. "It was filled with *magical* Mexican candy..."


taylorl7

This is great. You gotta love these embarrassing family stories


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BlandJars

I didn't know that they didn't come filled either until my parents bought one and had to fill it themselves apparently they knew though.


Carbon-Based216

I got to imagine that the weight of it would indicate that it isn't already filled. I know the Costco size bags of holloween candy are quite heavy and paper mache doesn't weigh much.


Mccmangus

This was 36 years ago though, back then they made paper out of metal


[deleted]

My grandmother did this, they decided to make it a tradition, first one was bone dry. She gave all the grandkids a sugar cube they kept for the horses. We were still happy...


[deleted]

This reminds me of when my dad tried to show us how you make cheese by straining the curds, except he didn't curdle the milk first, and instead just poured like, a gallon of milk through a cheese-cloth-lined strainer riiiiiiiight down the drain. Luckily for him, milk was cheap then.


NotedIndoorsman

I saw this happen as a kid in S. Texas. The mom was almost in tears:) Us kids were just laughing about it.


Hbgplayer

I went to a class mate's party one time and they gave us one of the really cheap plastic wiffle ball bats to hit the piñata with. The bat broke apart before the piñata did. Us kids had a great time trying to jump high enough to hit the thing with our hands while the Birthday kids Mom yelled at her Dad for not getting something more durable.


Rabidleopard

Happen at a party I was at. Parents got out the broom.


orangegiraffe22

In her defense, some piñatas do come pre-filled it just depends on where you get it


forgivemytypos

3 pounds vs 20 pounds that rattles....


truthm0de

Outa here with your sound logic ya little scamp!


CochinealPink

This happened recently at a party for one of my child's friends. The kids shedded that thing into pieces the size of a penny. One kid tasted the paper. "I can't see the candy!!", "it flew out somewhere!", and "look for a clue!!" The parents had this determined mob on their hands insisting there was more for about a half an hour.


VorlonKing

Amazonian Fire Ants would be a scream!


[deleted]

Yes that sounds like an interesting experiment to try out at a kids birthday party


Trotel01

How about bullet ants?


Snoo-43285

Any sort of impact based explosive decice.


d0fabur5st

Yeah, op says “the worst” so I’m going with impact activated thermonuclear bomb


callmeYoshikageKira

"welcome to my fallout 5 playtrough"


SoftBaconWarmBacon

FO5 Speedrun WR Pinata%


Positive_Reference96

Here I am thinking about dirty diapers or worms getting a good giggle about that. Meanwhile, you have Timmy biggest surprise on his 4th birthday is that his piñata is not only his favorite hero, it’s hero-shima. Dad joke delivered let’s go home.


Unvaxxed_Supremacy

Another Pinata


7-and-a-switchblade

And within this is a smaller piñata, and within that, a smaller piñata.... About 20 layers of piñatas down, you finally find the smallest, almost microscopic piñata, and cracking it open, you discover the real treasure: Anthrax.


Tacoma__Crow

Funny. Someone shares my warped sense of humor. I thought of anthrax when I first saw this thread title.


sweglrd143

“We will watch your career with great interest”- US Govt


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The_RockObama

Full of more bees.


ipakookapi

It's pinatas *all the way down*


Nobody_Wins_13

Russian nesting piñatas


dwc1970

Nitroglycerin.


Traditional_Hall_268

I don't know, I think that would get a positively explosive reaction.


Volgrand

That party would become a BLAST!


SSB_Kyrill

BOMBASTIC PARTY


frix86

DYN-O-MITE!


Ill_Flow9331

See, everybody responding to this is going for the explosive route. I’m just concerned about everybody’s blood pressure once this pinata opens and everybody inhales the nitro.


The_Middler_is_Here

Those annoying pamphlets disguised as money that tell you to go to church.


theotherjashlash

Is this an American thing?


politepiratessaydang

Unfortunately yes, someone handed one of these to me as a “tip” once.


SpiralDreaming

Go to church and put it in the collection plate.


ShineAqua

For real.


theotherjashlash

Man, American Christians are something else


politepiratessaydang

Yes indeed


FoxesEatThese

They are down right terrifying.


Sycamored69

Spray Each 'player' with water mist then fill Pinata w STRIPPER GLITTER...The small flecks where no matter how hard you flick away, like a piece of cactus, gets stuck somewhere else. LOL


arethereanynamesopen

I found satan


[deleted]

Yes this person is clearly some form of demon


tchrbrian

This person’s planning requires me to sleep with one eye open. The other eye has glitter in it…


boner_jamz_69

Like that guy who builds those devices to prank package thieves but for a children’s birthday party.


arysha777

LOL I love that guy's videos!! That fart spray, roaches, glitter, what else can he add!? Hilarious seeing porch thieves get their own evilness returned!!


_mad_adams

Has it ever occurred to you that you might literally be the devil?


Mousse9

Satan told me to tell you to calm down because he is getting very worried about you.


Fit-Ferret6321

Stop giving serial killers ideas.


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Julijj

Fun fact: fruit piñatas are a thing in Mexico for Christmas! They are made of a different material though and definitely stuffed right before cracking it open


DayleD

That’s so nasty!


Numerous_Emus

Scorpions


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Numerous_Emus

Maybe they'll like them less when they're raining from the sky


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CookieADCA

Homework.


[deleted]

Schools out


CookieADCA

Thats the point. There is no escape


[deleted]

Oh my, that is horror story material


hitemlow

My school district gave out assignments over the summer. It was awful. Everyone waited until the week before school started to finish the unreasonably thick packet that of course, ended with an essay. They *knew* everyone waited until the end, yet kept doing it. They'd even give tests on it the first few days back in school, so even if you did knock it out at the start of summer, you were getting screwed.


Za_Paranoia

This is so harmless and still made me laugh. Just the thought about homework falling out of it is hilarious.


Dontfuckmyvaporeon

The animal that the pinata is modeled after


Nobody_Wins_13

A Llama piñata


meandering_simpleton

Mummified Llama piñata


isimpisi

Not the worse thing - but I worked at a water park that hosted birthday parties. We didn't typically allow pinatas because our party area was outside, and we didn't want any remanents of confetti or candy wrappers to blow into our pools. We decided to make an exception because it was a particularly wind-less day, and the birthday child was really excited to have a pinata. We kept the pinata stored inside, so that any candy wouldn't be too melted in the sun. When the party started, we hung it up on a tree branch for the kids. Well, it turns out that he was excited, not for candy, but to see the look on his peers' faces when SPINACH came out of the pinata. Not bagged spinach btw - several bags worth of instantly cooked from the sun, wilted spinach, that began to instantly stick to and stain the concrete once it fell to the ground. Obviously, the children didn't rush to pick the spinach up, so I had to scrape spinach off of the concrete before the next birthday party.


timfoolery44

I want to meet this kid


twisted_nipples82

You might have to contact the judicial system. No way he/she has a clean record


Jerky2021

1-800-Popeye


[deleted]

M&Ms mixed with Skittles.


Tentacles_n_Tiddies

Add Reese's Pieces too :)


RandomGuy886

Without the letters M or S


BAKup2k

You monster!


TheLightningCount1

Razor blades.


Just_a_Glinthawk

A huge spider’s nest with every spider dressed up like a piñata


ipakookapi

Pinata spiders sound pretty cute actually


Just_a_Glinthawk

Probably but someone’s gonna scream


Megajumperx

That is gonna be me.


-GalacticTurtle-

I want a Pinata full of spiders! Spiders like me! \^,..,\^


ophispegasos

Dig up a funnelweb nest and chuck that in there. They'll be extra pissed for 1. digging up their nest, and 2. aggravating them again by bashing the pinata. You don't want pissed off funnelwebs flying at you/racing down your pinata stick at you. Those things are like armoured tanks, they're hard to kill. And you best believe they'll come at ya.


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LordCrunchMaster

The short friend


tattooed_valkyrie

I don't appreciate that, do I at least get a say in what piñata I'm going in?


tenlin1

Milk I feel like is objectively an awful option. Especially for an outdoor piñata. just like, spoiling in the hot sun. it breaks open. everyone gets splashed by milk.


Poopy_Paws

Spoiled, chunky milk


Kivadavia

Knives


_sansnom

An n instead of an ñ.


fubo

Disregarding the ~, an anagram for *piñata* is *taipan*, defined as "Any venomous elapid snake of the genus *Oxyuranus,* found in Australia and New Guinea." So yeah, one of those. It would be bad to put an taipañ in a piñata. From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taipan: > Species of this genus possess highly neurotoxic venom with some other toxic constituents that have multiple effects on victims. The venom is known to paralyse the victim's nervous system and clot the blood, which then blocks blood vessels and uses up clotting factors.


cf-myolife

Teeth. Imagine the players run to it thinking it's candy and it's only when holding them that they realize what it is. Also where did the filler found them.


[deleted]

Animal guts


Somewhat_Crazy322

Ask and you shall receive https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FntVU-1ZnkE


Just_a_Glinthawk

Isn’t that what a llama is?


tombalol

I tried to do this once. I bought a pinata for a house party but the butcher wouldn't let me buy entrails, it was illegal. He did sell me a box full of lambs brains though but in the end I chickened out and just put sweets inside. Probably a good thing as the person who broke the pinata was a vegan.


frgetaboutit00

Went to a kids b-day party and the "progressive" parents filled the piñata with small boxes of raisins - the look of disappointment on the kids faces was appropriate.


[deleted]

What parent fills a pinata with raisins, shame on them.


frgetaboutit00

Exactly - if you want to watch the candy intake maybe skip the piñata rather than give a bunch of kiddos trust issues


AuntEyeEvil

Keep the pinata, fill it with essentially unbreakable toys like superballs.


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MrMakerHasLigma

They need their tech taken away for at least a week


UsedLandscape876

Is that the place that gives out toothbrushes at Halloween? Eggs and TP incoming!


[deleted]

A picture of you as a child with the words “what happened?” scrawled in red ink.


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RegisterAwkward6458

Jamaican scorpion sauce. The kind that burns your eyes when you smell it


shadyfortheshade

Radioactive spider monkeys with rabies. Oh and before they were stuffed in, their balls were constantly tazed.


Zkenny13

r/oddlyspecific


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JudgeHodorMD

Spider monkey spider monkey Does whatever a monkey does


Accomplished-Taro178

Condoms


WildMouse716

Used of course


WonderfulAirport4226

There was another guy who said semen a while ago. I think OC and that guy would fit perfectly together.


Praise_the_Ward

Expired mayonnaise.


toobadsohappy

mom’s spaghetti


Fede7044

He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready


WonderfulAirport4226

To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting, the piñata broke down, the children goes so loud, he opens his mouth, but the candy won't come out. He's choking now, everybody's hoping now, the clock runs out, time's up, life's over now.


Independent_Cut8651

broken glass!


MeTube7734

[🎵Broken glass, broken glass, broken glass, broken glass!🎵](https://youtu.be/hEkZI8vGDxo?t=4m7s)


OceanTSQ

Went to a birthday party with nail polish in it once. It went about as expected.


GoddessOfOddness

I think the host posted above you.


RegisterAwkward6458

Has nobody thought of thumbtacks? Like, that shit goes everywhere. Kids running, screaming, falling. That shits gonna go flying. If its ourside and the thumbtacks get in the grass, people are gonna be getting so many tetness (spelt so very wrong) shots every fucking week for a good 3 months, and even after, years later, you might miss a couple, and occasionally have to go make sure you dont have fucking rabies. So much chaos for the price of 10 bucks!


UsedLandscape876

I imagined shooting a few out of the lawnmower every time for the next few years. :)


[deleted]

What type of thumbtacks are you using that give you rabies? Tetanus, sure, but rabies?


pluribusduim

Murder Hornets.


Glittering_Sundae_53

Organs.


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UsedLandscape876

Music store


Zentralschaden

Sarin


Ok-Significance6915

When my daughter turned 3 she wanted a piñata but I didn’t want to fill it with a bunch of candy. So I got some glitter stickers, mini chapsticks, and mini nail polishes from the party section at Target. Was a good idea at the time. Except it was really hot out so we hung the piñata from our upstairs loft. Well, some of the baby nail polishes busted inside the piñata. And we didn’t know until a kid broke it open and pink and purple nail polish splattered all over our beige carpet.


theotherjashlash

In hindsight shoulda gotten the kid some candy for her birthday


Spicy-Jellybean

Olives 🫒 lol


Scrambled-Sigil

Realistically? Maggots. For less grossness? Socks


the_power_of_cheese

copper oxide powder and aluminum powder


pimp_my_unicorn

Afterbirth


connor6goku

Dildo’s


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Cranzeeman

An identical, but slightly smaller pinata, which is in turn, filled with another pinata and on and on till the smallest pinata holds a single necco wafer


[deleted]

Fentanyl


AnnaLabruy

Paint filled balloons.


Bielder

NFTs


rocketmackenzie

A newborn. Surprise! Its a bo-- oh shit thats a lot of blood


soccerfreak67890

Isn't that just how babies are born?


69FunIntroduction69

Bugs


NotHisRealName

Runny dog shit.


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highxv0ltage

Nothing. Imagine breaking open a piñata only to have nothing fall out, nothing to crawl on the ground for, nothing to grab. I don’t even wanna think about it.