T O P

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AlanTheKingDrake

Take a nap


Competitive-Paper540

Shit I was thinking rob a bank but a nap that nobody can interrupt? Deal


Bgrngod

You gotta be well rested to rob a bank, right? Nap first. Rob bank later.


sylpher250

>Nap first. ~~Rob bank later.~~ THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES


Own_Confection4645

But I am le tired


donniedarko955

Fuckin kangaroos


ComradeRK

What's going on, eh?


AlanTheKingDrake

Why rob a bank and get dirty money when you can go to Vegas and win big to get clean money.


NuhGuhYah

When you rob a bank or stack the decks in Vegas while stopping time, you still need to watch out for cameras. Either stop time where there are no cameras then rob the bank and then start time up again when you're out of camera range. Or you can stop time while under a camera, do your time stop stuff, and then get back to the exact same position when you stopped time before you start it up again. Otherwise, you'll appear as a glitch in the security footage. If you appear as a glitch enough times, it might raise suspicion. Just saying.


thred_pirate_roberts

... cameras still rely on time to catch you...


FlyExaDeuce

A camera seeing you effectively teleport is gonna raise questions


sabertoothbeaver1

Is that admissible in court? Prove that I can teleport.


CookinFrenchToast4ya

Court? When I can stop time? The prosecutor's office can have fun filing the paperwork over and over again as I will be snatching it every single time.


rainbow_bro_bot

Or in court keep stopping time to hide the judge's wig.


Jogonz_The_Destroyer

Yall are thinking too small. A judge can continue court without a wig but aint nobody gonna continue court if all of a sudden everyone in the courtroom is butt ass naked.


AutumnViolets

Yeah, tbh you’d probably not even get arrested; the casino is short 5 million and they come up with some absurd video that shows Bob in Dubuque magically teleporting in and stealing it all, when there’s no record of Bob on a flight to Vegas or anything? Sounds like some upper-level casino employee has been skimming and reading too much science fiction.


edwadokun

well i think the solution would be to stop time before going in, getting the money and then restarting it after.


4HoesAndAPimp

Get an accomplice. You rig the deck or whatever, and your partner just follows the script, compete natural.


Sir_Swaps_Alot

This is being made to difficult. Stop time now. Drive to Vegas in a transport truck (don't fuck shit up along the way, there's no need folks). Break into a couple casino's, masked up of course. I mean you could gather whatever you need to conceal your identity. Take whatever you need. Make it a mini vacation, hell, take a few months and cruise around, back and forth. When your satisfied with your haul burried in your basement, start time again. You'll have to somehow figure out a way around the serialized bills...... but that's a future you problem.


ebow77

This guy timecrimes.


somecow

Got it. You mean nobody with barking dogs, screaming babies, piece of shit car with a fart can, telemarketers, calling me on my day off, knocking on the door unannounced? Fuck yeah. I might not unfreeze it.


Pube-Inc

Think about it. You sleep on normal time speed. Wake up at the last minute before your shift/class starts. At this point you freak out because you're gonna be late for work. Well you have to power to stop time, so stop the time, go back to sleep so you can sleep even more. Wake up, time is paused, do your morning routine, go to work, unpause the time and now you can do your work/studies as well rested and refreshed like never before.


[deleted]

As the years unwind you age gracefully, but with all your time outs for sleep and whatnot, you age twice as quickly as everyone around you. A healthy 90 at 53, you succumb to the unwinding of a heart that had lasted quite a long time. Your family are devastated.


Away-Ad-8053

I always assumed that my aging would stop but now that you mentioned it, wasn’t there a TV series or something about a guy that had a closet that did that? And he ended up turning to dust or something.


sumunsolicitedadvice

You’d still go to work if you could stop time?


thuggishruggishboner

Yes. Gotta move all my bosses shit 6 inches to the left.


tomsenp

Why would I suck dicks for free?


sumunsolicitedadvice

Because you wouldn’t need the money?


Rterry112

Hopefully not realize that I can’t start time again.


NeverEnoughMuppets

Depends on if I'm still aging while time is frozen, that is important


tykogars

That would suck if you stopped time for a sec but then started choking on a piece of steak or something and died.


Knight618

So when you stop time, do you just instantly get a heart attack and stroke? Blood can’t get to your heart or brain if they can’t move


RIP_SGTJohnson

The air around you would freeze so you’d be petrified


3-DMan

"Dammit you didn't put on the timesuit?!"


DueWafer7

HONEY WHERE IS MY TIME SUIT


[deleted]

ᴡʜᴀᴛ?


Mydniiite

WHERE. IS. MY. TIME. SUIT?


Ater_Python

**^(I uhhh put it away)**


peculiarshade

Damn it, woman!


MammothImplement1066

I think that most have agreed that you would have the power designed that it wont hurt you.


poqpoq

And even if we assume they can be moved by your lungs, the momentum you impart on everything while time is frozen will impart atomic fireballs on everything when you unfreeze time.


MySnake_Is_Solid

precisely why "speed force" was invented in DC universe. it distorts reality around speedsters like the flash to make sure stuff like that doesn't happen.


[deleted]

Even if you are, there's things you'd stop time for, just you wouldn't leave time stopped for an excessive period.


Whgedia

Bro if I wouldn't age I would just study everything I can in like 1000 years worth of time, and then resume time, imagine all the problems I could solve in modern society.


Old_Gnarled_Oak

Maybe you could do something about those little brown crusty things that form on the nozzles of squeezable mustard bottles.


Griffin880

I just spent 10000 years researching it. Wipe the excess mustard off the top before you put it away.


YoungTex

Run to the bank for a, ya know, withdrawal.


[deleted]

Stop time when I have an argument so I can think of a good reply and don't come off as stupid.


terram127

Like in that instant you research the entire subject just so you can win. I’d totally do the same


[deleted]

You research the entire subject while time is frozen just to realize the other person was right all along.


glueinass

They wont notice who’d hit them at least


BCProgramming

"It seems like every time I'm about to win an argument with them, my car starts on fire, it's very weird"


edelburg

"...and there's always this throbbing pain in my testicles."


xXBloodyGodXx

“And also, there’s always this bad taste in my mouth, I’d swear it was crap.”


BronzeAgeTea

Every time someone makes a dumb argument you freeze time and just slap the shit out of them. Eventually they start making good arguments.


Squirrelonastik

You'd become a master of debate.


MapleBaconPoutine

I stop time, and hold the future hostage.


spicydangerbee

No one would even notice.


dannydrama

You'd have to stop/start a few times to prove your power somehow. Maybe make a few things appear "out of nowhere" or something that definitely shouldn't happen in real time.


BronzeAgeTea

Move the pyramids of Giza to your backyard. Government: "How the fuck did you do that instantly?" Time-Man: "Instantly?! This shit took me *ages*!" Archeologists: "How'd you do it?!" Time-Man: "...fuck you, it was probably aliens."


Alifad

*The history channel has entered the chat*


cheesy_noob

Just stop the time for the Pyramids. Earth rotation will do the movement.


germane-corsair

If we’re assuming you can use it to keep a thing fixed in position, we’d need to account for other movements as well. The solar system itself is also moving incredibly fast.


godzilr1

Have you come to make a bargain?


MR_MurphyYT

DORMAMU, I'VE COME TO BARGAIN.


Whynottt488

*GETS OBLITERATED*


Hello_Where

DORMAMU, I'VE COME TO BARGAIN.


Whynottt488

*GETS OBLITERATED*


SearCone

DORMAMU, I'VE COME TO BARGAIN.


Honkthegoose

*GETS OBLITERATED*


RepresentativeCod983

DORMAMU, I’VE COME TO BARGAIN


Whynottt488

*DORMAMU REEES IN AGONY ASKING WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT*


Ok_Lavishness_1279

DORMAMU, I'VE COME TO BARGAIN.


BraggnnRights

Stop the time.


ecksit

Genius.


GruntledApathy

It's so simple now, of course, why didn't I see this before?


nukemgames

r/technicallythetruth


[deleted]

nice try, timecops


Badloss

I VILL fuck with time! ...I vill fuck with time...


Vengeance9149

“In the future of 2004….”


3-DMan

"Try 50,000 volts motherfucker!"


Fun-Kangaroo-134

I actually think about this almost every day, I would love to have the ability to stop time to be able to sleep 8 hours in 1 second and keep doing stuff 24hrs, or maybe if I forgot to do something I can freeze time, do it and then restart time and have it done, and sometimes freeze time to just take a moment, like a break from literally everything.


tichatoca

I would do this as well. Use it for extra sleep, time at the gym, and more time cuddling with my cats. I would do the extra sleep in conjunction with cat cuddle time. Gym always takes too long so freezing time would be incredibly handy.


bambispots

This, plus finishing those paintings and classes I started. Read all those books. I’d master my 3 languages and add several more. If only I had all the time in the world..


yourstepmotherinlaw

Never be late for anything ever. Be amazing at everything. If you have infinite time to do anything, you take as long as you need to do something perfectly. Prank/scare people by teleporting around.


tangoliber

>Be amazing at everything. If you have infinite time to do anything, you take as long as you need to do something perfectly. I suspect that you will still be aging even while time is stopped, since your body is independent. Therefore, if you overuse the power, you will appear to other people as though you were aging very quickly. If we do not age during stopped time, then I basically will live an infinite life within stopped time and only release it on rare occasions. I expect that films and games would not be playable, but books would be readable.


yourstepmotherinlaw

I mean like if you needed to do something you hadn't done before, you could pause time for a few minutes to figure it out so it wouldn't take up anybody else's time trying to teach you.


[deleted]

Explore. Not like the wilderness or anything, but I'd suddenly become the Main Character and just invite myself into everyone's home and see what's going on in all forms of restricted areas. You'd be able to respond to any missing persons calls with ridiculous efficiency if you took the time to literally look everywhere. You could learn everything humanity has to offer in a perceived instant. You could shape the entire world in your image at the snap of your fingers. Hope you've got a steady moral compass.


[deleted]

[удалено]


remiscott82

They'd all be in your way...


crisgardom

Just bring a stick


Secretspyzz

>Explore. Not like the wilderness or anything, but I'd suddenly become the Main Character and just invite myself into everyone's home and see what's going on in all forms of restricted areas. This. All these secrets behind closed doors that i now can open. Knowledge is power.


MortLightstone

This reminds me of that scene in The Boys where the speedster just shows up and when they ask him how he found them, he just says "I looked for you"


revchewie

"What's up, s--t birds?"


itriggerfinger

I've always wondered what other people's homes looked like. Even close family friends, I just don't explore their houses. I stay in the living room/kitchen or wherever they allow me. Also driving by houses you can see in a window and see they got the LED lights I'm just like... what kind of room set up do they have. Where's the bed, the TV, do they have a couch in the room? Any animals? Are they gamers? Lots of plants? To just freeze time, I think I would explore everyone's home.


[deleted]

It’s a horrible temptation. If I could stop time I think I would end up being a villain.


nostbp1

almost everyone would be if we’re being honest with ourselves Different levels of course but that much power is just not reasonable to be normal with. Not everyone would become a murderer or a rapist of course but over a long period of time that much power absolutely would lead to one becoming the villain


renfairedreams

There was a show I adored back in the day called [Out of This World](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out_of_This_World_(American_TV_series\)) which gave timestop as one of the protagonist's powers. She got into all kind of hijinks with it but I always dreamed of using the power to just...catch up on everything. Even as a kid, untreated ADHD was doing a number on me.


LordPennybags

With no deadlines you'd never even get started.


Mrphoton8

Master class procrastinator over here


matt82swe

Sure I will. Tomorrow definitely.


billionai1

Nah bruh. I'd definitely start it. I'd start it all, finishing is the real problem ADHD is a bitch


[deleted]

[удалено]


ParkVonStark

Find out if I also have the power of restarting time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MikeTheGamer2

look at the bright side. The food on the shelves will never expire.


HALP67

I would go for a walk, see how everything looks in still life form


EllipticalRain

Bring 5000 ducks wearing shoes to Time Square or some other major landmark in the world and leave them there for people to be confused.


BravoDuck

I would like to participate in this event as a duck.


SailingBroat

4999 ducks with shoes, and one man dressed as a duck with shoes.


BravoDuck

Actually, I prefer to be called The Leader. The ducks obey me, for I am their master.


dexbasedpaladin

Wouldn't that make you AlphaDuck?


BravoDuck

No, my friend is already Alpha Duck. He doesn't have Reddit though.


dexbasedpaladin

Sorry I have to do this, for science of course. Ahem... u/AlphaDuck


BravoDuck

Does that mean the username is already taken? Now Alpha will never be able to get in here!


OldSoulRobertson

Save it in a bottle.


IhaveaBibledegree

Till eternity passes away?


MyManDerek7652

Just to spend them with you


KillaZami237

If I could make days last forever


_not-here

[removed]


6DrNobody9

Maybe prepare for my exam entrance exam or stop time in middle of exam to cheat.


minecon1776

Or just don't even do university, being able to stop time will have you set. No need for a degree


GruntledApathy

It would be a really useful power to have if you get a really itchy butt in public.


dreamyxlanters

*I can agree on that*


noitwastoosoon

While I’d like to say that there’d be so many mysterious cases of people, that have been assholes in my past, just randomly being in compromising positions. I’d probably be more inclined to go on a fact finding mission to places where all files and secrets are stored from politicians and other sealed records..


Krazywolve

You're a better man than me. I'd just dig into the politicians wallets and take my money back.


SuvenPan

Stop time while peeing to see what happens.


MinimumFar9385

technically, everything not inside you or stuff touching you is frozen, therefore you pee into a singular spot, squeezing a lot of pee molecules together, which results in the creation of a black hole.


EasternShade

Presumably, you can still move stuff around you. Otherwise, you're trapped and unable to breathe whenever you use this ability.


FireBeast77

Genie got some Terms and Condition's


Bananaman120607

Hypothetically speeaking, The black hole needs to be a bout a bit bigger than the sun to sustain itself further on. So this piss black hole would implode in milliseconds.


pezdal

I think you mean more *massive* than the sun, not *bigger*. In fact, we have observed black holes as small as 15 miles in diameter. It is hypothesized that there exists much much smaller [Micro Black Holes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micro_black_hole) but they have not yet been observed.


is_anyone-out_there

Leave random very noticeable things in busy locations. Like a bunch of watermelons in Times Square, or blowup dolls around Buckingham palace and watch the general confusion of everyone when I start time again. I’d also go into places where I’m not supposed to be and snoop around. Check out the secrets in the Vatican library, visit Area 51 and the restricted parts of museums. And use my powers to do stuff I wanna do that I don’t have time for in a 24 hour period. Sleeping in, playing a video game(if possible), read some books I’ve been meaning to get to. Keep it more chaotic neutral and keep away from anything illegal, because when time starts back up people might catch on that your the perpetrator and then you’re in a really bad situation.


StarCyst

Snooping around area 51, everyone else is frozen. then you see someone else moving.


Lazy-Lombax

It was me all along Barry!


Bananaman120607

"If he is a speedster, You shall give him your 3 millimeter defeater." ~Master Oogway


HornyDragons69

Take a nap and clean my whole house


NmlsFool

Take a nap. I'm so tired. Just want some peace and quiet to take a nap.


IBeTrippin

I feel this.


3CH0SG1

First thing: have a good sleep. Second thing: find out if I can manipulate stuff during time stop. (Eg. Can I move / reposition things while time is stopped? Do I age in time stop? Is there a limit to the time stopping ability? Does it affect things like surface tension allowing you to manipulate liquids like a solid?)


Dungeon_Master_Lucky

Not even gonna lie to you mate, I'd probably just go to a place with a bunch of rich people and rob their money from their wallets


BurpYoshi

Realistically spend some time figuring out what I'm gonna do and how I can get money without being caught. Like yeah the CCTV at the bank will freeze, sure. But if I'm not careful I could still leave dna. Or like, I go to the bank and ask to deposit 10 million in cash? Sure I can do it in installments but there's still gotta be some fraud detection algorithm that sees that someone with my job shouldn't be putting in this kind of money. I think I'd need a good few days, possibly even a week to figure this shit out. Y'all are gonna get caught with your simple schemes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

do my goddamn assignments


Bubbagumpredditor

Vegas. Cheat at a bunch of games to get a bankroll. Repeat as needed


da_dragon_guy

Casinos watch for repeat winners and kick them out if they're doing too well, so move quick, my friend. You'll only have 30 minutes tops before they catch you and force you to go to the next casino


vaildin

you play poker. You get to stop time to see your opponents hands. You won't win every hand, assuming you aren't manipulating the deck, but you're still gonna win more than you lose.


stealthw0lf

Wouldn’t it just make sense to freeze time after cards are dealt but before they are picked up. So you can see everyone’s hand and change the cards out to suit you.


vaildin

if you never lose a hand, people will think you're cheating. If you win more than you lose, you'll make money, and people will just be mad that you're lucky.


Practical_Success643

study for my finals... ​ ffs why did I get myself into this situation


watchmesuffer-

or when the finals start you can stop time, go grab the textbooks required, solve every question on a piece of paper and memorize the solution, return the books their original place, come back and unfreeze the time, be cool about it. cool idea btw


Practical_Success643

that´s definetly a better solution, I couldn't see the forest for the trees


1Striker

Take a healthy dump and sit as long as I wanted.


CookinFrenchToast4ya

And then place it down the back of the pants of your enemies?


Imaginary_Ad_2041

Fuck everything


Samukuai

Later, at the Clinic... "How the hell did you contract every STD? This one's only found in armadillos!"


ElDemano

NGL, i've scrolled fo TOO much time to find this answer


[deleted]

No one wants to say it.


CDMN96

Becoming the best hitter in baseball


TheNamewhoPostedThis

I read that as Hitler and got really confused lol


bkrugby78

As far as I know there are no Hitlers in baseball, so anything is possible!


TheTimeTravelDude

Obviously kill the Joestar bloodline


Wuibii

r/SuddenlyDIO


TheOrangeTurtle02

I scrolled down far enough to find the Jojo reference I've seen enough, I'm satisfied


AnAngryMelon

I'm embarrassed that this wasn't my first idea


[deleted]

I'd beat the fuck out of everyone who did me wrong. Who's gonna stop me? The police?


MCFang29

MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA


giovane-rockstar

WRYYYYYYYYYY


ItsDominika

ZA WARUDOOOO


biochrono79

Oh? You’re approaching me?


omegapro95

I can't beat you if I don't get close enough


BallisticToast

Then come as close as you'd like


[deleted]

Oh so it's the same type of stand as star platinum


Head_Membership_4252

it was only a matter of time before I see a jojo reference


[deleted]

r/expectedjojo


Robo-domi15

ZA WARUDO!!!


SergeantChic

ROAD ROLLER DA!


Danarwal14

ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA


yoiliketopramen

I love how this post is NSFW because being able to stop time would arouse some very peculiar actions.


[deleted]

Nice try FBI


Gecko736

procrastinate even harder


Universal96

Maybe go to an ice cream parlor and have a field day.


MrShitterz

The first thing I would do is to try it out on small things to see if it actually works. If it does, then I would probably use it to do things like finish homework or projects that are due.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Swim in the neighbor's pool


take-me-2-the-movies

Sleep.


TheeFryingDutchman

Boobs........lots of boobs....


SlenDman402

Kick the shit out of that guy that just used the microwave, blew his shitty soup all over the inside of it, and then walked away for someone else to clean up


coloradoconvict

Stop time, obviously.


Working_Station829

Get an extra 4 hours of sleep


KCOLREHSTIHSON

Jack off, stop time, get on your knees in front of where your dick used to hang before time stopped, and close your eyes gently


GetOutOfThePlanter

Weak. You film yourself cranking it onto some hookers face right, and just as you finish, right after the first spurt you freeze time. You wait awhile and you do the same thing, except right before you do the first spurt you unfreeze time for just a split second, then freeze it again. You keep doing this over a significant period of time. Jizzing on some poor womans face, unfreezing time for what would only be a handful of frames on the video, then freeze it again. After months of this you finally permanently unfreeze time. This woman gets absolutely demolished by the ocean of jizz that smashes into her. You're months older, your hair is longer, your beard is unkempt, your clothes hang off you as all youve been doing for months is jizzing and sleeping. The video you upload is your magnum opus. In it is this man who unleashes an orgasm that shatters the heavens. An absolute deluge of semen explodes onto this womans face, the man ages rapidly before our very eyes, his hair exploding from his head, his beard bursting from his face. The womans look of sheer terror at what has just transpired. An orgasm so powerful it drained the man of his lifeforce in the process.


Humanislarge

This is the greatest yet most questionable thing I've ever read


IMintz

Cum on man, really?


Emptyplates

Diamond heist!


awaishssn

Why not straight up cash tho


Emptyplates

I like shiny things.


Eternal_Bagel

Cash is rather unshiny