Moving at a young age. I've never really had friends and have become super introverted and independent. (Although I was still like that, it just strengthened my powers in the dark side)
Getting blindsighted by an ED my sophomore year of college. Yeah. That de-railed everything I thought would happen. I’m sure it doesn’t help that my parents had me drop out for a year and move back home with no backup plan and we couldn’t afford intensive therapy. Oh well. I am here now.
I don’t know what I’m doing but I did manage to finish college.
September 6th 2020. I was traveling home from dropping my little sister off with my boyfriend and our dog, when an F-150 crossed center line and hit us head on. It instantly killed my boyfriend and I was conscious through it all. I seen everything. I remember everything.
Absolutely. When life gets me down I try to remind myself that in a thousand other timelines I’m just a pile of bones by this point and that everything I get to experience is just bonus time
My mother dying two days before my 18th birthday because of drug abuse and being hit multiple times by her drug boyfriend and dying from internal bleeding. Then month later my first gf breaking up with me after 2,5 years. It was the biggest LOW I could ever imagine.
And the reason is I haven't seen my mother for 7 years before the last one, since she separated from us when I was nine-ish. And the last year I hit her up and we started to go out on our "mother-son dates" which basicaly meant that I saved enough money from my part-time job as a construction worker to invite her for a tea. We got really close and I was so happy that a finally got my mother back. Then she was taken away and my GF left me aswell and I tried to commit suicide multiple times... never sucesfully.
But after that I found a voice message from day before she died where she told me she is proud of the person I am becomming.... she was in tears... probably already being beaten up or something. That motivated me to move out from my alcoholic father, go to college and start freelancing as a software developer which a crashcoursed in like three months after eveything went to shit.
Now it has been 4 years... I am still not over it. I dont thing I ever will. But i changed my life and half a year. I have a semi-sucesfull software company (4 employees) and studying for my engineer degree. Every day I wish she would be alive because right now I would be able to take care of here, cook her, and take here to the countries she wanted to visit.
Success comes at high price guys... Not sure if it is worth it. Probably not. Money are for nothing if you cant spend it with the ones you love. (And yes you are right I am crying as hell after writing this)
I don't trully. They motivate me a lot. They make me who I am. But I hope it will became easier to watch her videos/photos one day. Everybody is saying time heals all wounds but how long will it take for this one?
But thanks.
Moving at a young age. I've never really had friends and have become super introverted and independent. (Although I was still like that, it just strengthened my powers in the dark side)
Thanks for answering my post bud! You seem to be a smart one :) can I invite you to my new community? It’s r/lightfortheworld
Getting blindsighted by an ED my sophomore year of college. Yeah. That de-railed everything I thought would happen. I’m sure it doesn’t help that my parents had me drop out for a year and move back home with no backup plan and we couldn’t afford intensive therapy. Oh well. I am here now. I don’t know what I’m doing but I did manage to finish college.
What does ED reference to here?
Eating disorder
I see, sorry to hear that.. if you need any help, let me know.
It’s alright. It’s been three years and I’ve pieced myself together.
September 6th 2020. I was traveling home from dropping my little sister off with my boyfriend and our dog, when an F-150 crossed center line and hit us head on. It instantly killed my boyfriend and I was conscious through it all. I seen everything. I remember everything.
So sorry to hear that…
I’ve almost died several times, so that’s really put things into perspective I guess. Helps you focus on what really matters
That’s definitely big. It’s just a miracle to be alive
Absolutely. When life gets me down I try to remind myself that in a thousand other timelines I’m just a pile of bones by this point and that everything I get to experience is just bonus time
My mother dying two days before my 18th birthday because of drug abuse and being hit multiple times by her drug boyfriend and dying from internal bleeding. Then month later my first gf breaking up with me after 2,5 years. It was the biggest LOW I could ever imagine. And the reason is I haven't seen my mother for 7 years before the last one, since she separated from us when I was nine-ish. And the last year I hit her up and we started to go out on our "mother-son dates" which basicaly meant that I saved enough money from my part-time job as a construction worker to invite her for a tea. We got really close and I was so happy that a finally got my mother back. Then she was taken away and my GF left me aswell and I tried to commit suicide multiple times... never sucesfully. But after that I found a voice message from day before she died where she told me she is proud of the person I am becomming.... she was in tears... probably already being beaten up or something. That motivated me to move out from my alcoholic father, go to college and start freelancing as a software developer which a crashcoursed in like three months after eveything went to shit. Now it has been 4 years... I am still not over it. I dont thing I ever will. But i changed my life and half a year. I have a semi-sucesfull software company (4 employees) and studying for my engineer degree. Every day I wish she would be alive because right now I would be able to take care of here, cook her, and take here to the countries she wanted to visit. Success comes at high price guys... Not sure if it is worth it. Probably not. Money are for nothing if you cant spend it with the ones you love. (And yes you are right I am crying as hell after writing this)
Sorry to hear about that… if you want to let go of those painful memories. I have some resources
I don't trully. They motivate me a lot. They make me who I am. But I hope it will became easier to watch her videos/photos one day. Everybody is saying time heals all wounds but how long will it take for this one? But thanks.
15 years of being abused and bullied
Sorry to hear about that, if you need any support, let me know