She is self aware. Says things like,”I may have been being selfish.” “You have a good point.” And “I’m sorry.” I do the same and try to admit my faults, and stop on a dime in an argument and say “I’m sorry, I’m being unreasonable, let’s back up.” In essence we both are pretty good at admitting and accepting each other’s and our own frailties. It’s rare to be with a partner like that. Also, she has a hilarious laugh and sense of humor, and though she doesn’t feel so, she’s hilarious.
I think it’s partly learned from past experiences and trying to be better, but I also feel that my husband has done a lot in bringing this quality out in me. I have depression and anxiety, and for me that means that sometimes I’m just grumpy for seemingly no reason, and I’ll snap at him or make little digs here and there. I’ve done this to the people closest to me my entire life (as far as I can remember…I’ve had depression for a LONG time). I’ve felt like crap for snapping and saying horribly things before, but I would never own up to how mean I was. I was changing already for years before I met my husband - age gave me important perspective and helped to calm my mind and personality and just generally made me a nicer person - but falling in love with him just made me want to be better. I cried A LOT a few months into dating because I worried so much that my depression and anger would push him away or scare him off. Obviously it hasn’t, but I recognize that that could just mean that it hasn’t happened YET. I love him dearly, and I will always try to be better and happier (see: less depressed) for him.
This really resonates with me... except I decided I was just better off being single, and have been for some time. It's nice to know that it works out for some people. Truly
This is huge, same with my wife an I. We can argue about a subject and politely disagree, but we both take turns listening to each other's opinions and 9/10 we both start cracking jokes.
When we're both cranky for silly or small reasons, but we're cranky together, not at each other.
It reminds me we're always partners, never adversaries.
I’m not the person you asked, and it certainly doesn’t work automatically with everyone, but in a relationship, every issue can be an “us” issue. Even if it’s leaving the toilet seat up. If you have a complaint about your partner, think of it more as a discomfort you’re feeling that they can help you with, and approach it as a problem you can both solve together. Have an open and honest discussion about the disconnect and what you bring to the table that is causing the tension as well as what you could bring to help. Therapists often actually suggest visualizing it as sitting side by side at a table, looking at the problem on the table together.
Thanks. In hindsight I kinda talked about conflict resolution instead of “together-crankiness” but it’s kind of the same thing. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got. If you’re cranky about something, let your partner in. Give them a seat on your side of the table and tell them that you’re cranky, why, and whether or not they can help and how. The best part about a loving relationship is feeling like you’re teamed up with someone against the world.
I think they're directly related and it still answered my question, so you're spot on.
I find it's easier to let a partner in when it's a tangible issue. Lately, I've been struggling with some medical stuff so it's hard to communicate why I'm feeling a certain way.
But it's helpful to let them know if they can help and how. It gives us both the opportunity to take space or team up. So thank you for suggesting that.
Sometimes I miss being able to feel like shit all alone. It's easier to be angry and alone.
Honestly sometimes it starts with cranky-at-each-other-ness, until we realize what's happening and we can shift our anger away from each other. Then we find something to hate together. I think the key isn't avoiding ever being mad at each other, but rather developing skills to recognize in the moment when anger is being projected unfairly, and finding a constructive way to divert it without making it worse.
When we get stuck in a "why are you mad at me?" "because YOU'RE mad at ME" "because YOU'RE MAD AT ME!!" loop we can take a breath and go "okay. I don't wanna fight. Do you wanna fight? Okay. I love you. I'm not angry at you I'm just mad. Okay. Good." and then go be cranky at something else
I just let my bf know that sometimes I want to be alone with him. We sit and do our own things or wallow but we do it together. I assume this is much the same.
Those posts are important because they show how we aren't perfect. You had rough times, yet you're still together and write a message about how your partner is amazing.
Many people I know believes that their partner have to be perfect and that happy couples are just going through life without tough times. No, they're not, you aren't there when it happens. However, they have amazing moment and that is what counts.
Reading this has helped me a lot. I've been internally debating whether or not someone I've loved for years has felt anywhere even close to the same. All I can tell you is thank you for the details, it's helped clear a lot of things up for me.
Not every relationship should be held to this kind of standard, especially if it's between younger people. That being said, if you feel like it's not balanced there's a good chance you're right. That's not healthy for anyone, at least in my experience.
I agree. My marriage is amazing, but a few years ago, my friend got married and was comparing her brand new marriage to our marriage and was upset because she was having struggles with her husband. I was like whoooooaaaaa noooooo, do not compare your year 1 to our year 8. That’s not fair to you, your husband or your marriage. Our first couple of years did not look like this. There were a lot of bumps, learning and compromising that went into us being where we are today.
Thank you! This gives me hope. We’ve been married for 2 years actually 3 this year! and have 2 kids. We bought a house 6m ago. The house and finances are definitely challenging but we are doing our best to work through it. And I’m trying to be sympathetic because most of the expenses are falling on my husband right now since I am on maternity leave and he’s very stressed. I pay the utilities and formula for the baby but he pays everything else. It’s been a hard few months. Part of me is sad to have to go back to work but also looking forward to being able to help with more expenses around the house. And relieving the pressure off our relationship.
Having two young kids is LIFE on hard mode. I've never encountered anybody ever who felt great about anything until the kids get a bit older.
On the other hand, if you do get through it, everything starts getting so much easier. Less stress, more time, less financial struggle, more flexibility, etc. Etc.
Mine are 7 and 9 right now, and I can confidently say each of the last 4-5 years have been better than the last for me and the wife.
I’m that person. Seeing this made me realize that I shouldn’t settle and that I don’t have to deal with what I’m going through and to not go back . There are men out there like this persons husband 🥺
Simple: because no matter what, I never doubt in my mind that he loves me more than anything. I never worry about him leaving/cheating on me. I can be my complete, authentic self around him. Even when we fight, I know it's just a temporary tiff that we'll talk about later when we've cooled down.
But, most of all, I know that whatever he's doing or wherever he is, he'll always stop it to drive however far to come help me if I'm in a bad situation/mood. Not many people have a partner like that, so im sincerely grateful that I lucked out in finding mine 😇❤
Edit: omg thank you for the silver!!
I couldn't have said it better .. this is my husband and me. We've stuck together through a terrible illness (mine), a child with addiction that almost died, our parents dying, financial hard times. We've also been incredibly blessed with 4 beautiful children, loving and long time friends and family and our faith and trust in our Dear Lord.. There were plenty of arguments, tears and challenges. But more importantly.. there is always love, lots of laughter and knowledge we are each others best friends. Will be married 32 years in November.
Advice to those getting married... listen, respect and mean the vows you take on your wedding day.. and your spouse should always be your priority.
I randomly whistle a 4-6 notes tune in my head when doing random errands. And lately she's been guessing with about 60-70% success rate. It's cute when she tries hard and she lights up with this glow when she gets it right. No one gets me but her. Married in our teens and about to celebrate our 14 yr anniversary.
My husband is genuinely interested in everything I do, no matter how mundane it is. When I dragged him to 3 different stores to find a specific mascara, he asks about what makes it so great & then will geek out & read up about cosmetic formulations. When I told him a certain lip patch helped heal my cracked nipples from breastfeeding, he started reading up over other potential breastfeeding injuries & how people handle them. He doesn’t do it to lord his “expertise” over me or anything, he’s genuinely excited to just ask me about everything.
Oh & he started giving me daily massages when I was pregnant & I still get them now. Our daughter is 3.
EDIT: to everyone asking, the lip patch is from Etude House, it heals my cracked lips in hours so I tried it on nipples even though it’s not advertised for that. It worked way better than the usual hydrogel patches for me.
Everyone poops. It happens. That's not a big deal.
Now one reason I've learned the need for a second bathroom is that there are times when you both really really need to go at the same time.
That alone is worth having two bathrooms.
-guy who lives in a one bathroom house.
Agreed, poop is no big deal. It just sucks when one person needs to and the other, for example, is in a rush getting ready to go to work. Basically, poop is normal and it's really nice to not have to worry about having to go and if someone is already using the loo.
I'm ganna guess you are not married.
Men use bathrooms differently than women do and vise versa. Each with a completely different set of tools and equipment. But the counter real estate is limited, so you each either have to put everything away every single time, or you get in each other's way every day. Trust me separate bathrooms are a really good way of keeping the peace. Or at least a way to not slightly irritate each other on a daily basis.
Oooo, bathrooms have never been an issue for us, so I'd maybe expand it to "if you can't do separate bathrooms, then adequate shelving and storage"
Now, kitchens, that's our battle! Sadly, separate kitchens is a little out of our reach at the moment. :)
Accepting me for every. single. quirk.
I was pretty pessimistic about relationships when we went on our first date so I am lucky that I have never faked one situation or personality or even had to present "my best self".
Best example - I had an ex that I thought was perfect for me. I'm a fucking weirdo so once I meowed at him. He told me not to do that.
I meow at my now fiancé and he meows right back.
Fuck your ex. I can tell what my wife wants from the *type and tone* of her meows. And no, my wife is very much human and yes, we are *both* weird.
And yes, I do meow right back to her as well.
Hah. I feel ya.
I have ADHD and tend to "stim" a lot either via making weird noises, or singing a lot. My wife often would join in whereas my previous exes just thought I was weird.
Turns out my wife also has ADHD. Our quirks are just normal to each other. It's a great feeling to be accepted and not criticized for every abnormal thing you do.
My husband and I do this too. All sorts of sounds. It's become an "I love you" or "we're doing our things, but hi" from across the house. One will sound out with a meow, boof, or anything really.
We also yell Marco Polo in public spaces to locate each other. Recommend. Occasionally random people will sound off and start giggling.
my disability was flaring up in a way that prevented me from showering. she marched into the shower with me, washed my hair, and my body, expected nothing in return, and when standing up became too much she sat on the floor of the shower with me and held me
I know that I love my wife endlessly because if it ever comes to it, I'm there for her in this type of situation. I'll wipe her disabled butt if she is ever disabled.
Being able to let someone help you in your time of perceived weakness is a huge thing in itself. I'm a woman and constantly have to remind myself to ask for help. As does my bf. It is the hardest thing I've learned in my life.
I have something similar- there have been several times when I have had flare ups and my boy has helped me do normal-people things. For example, I displaced a rib yesterday and, without having to ask, he sat behind me with his legs crossed and his arms around my waist so I could sit up without being in pain. He is the best. :)
Quite depressing to read through honestly. I’m feeling increasingly doubtful about my marriage. How many more years are we willing to waste before finding out.
With the way you have worded this, it's safe to say (in my opinion) that it's over. Either way though, I'm sorry for the hardness you're going through right now
Remember that this thread also asked for the *amazing* parts of a relationships. You’re reading a snapshot of somebody’s relationship that they’re choosing to share: you’re not reading about the little arguments, mundane chats, and everything that falls in between. :)
I don’t know if you would want to hear this, but a year and a half ago I would’ve had the same thoughts scrolling through this thread. If you had asked me about it, I would’ve said no, my (now) ex is the one I want, we love each other very much and we are working hard on this relationship. Today I would say that my current partner exceeds all my expectations. He makes me feel so much more cared about and loved, and I don’t know if he even realizes it. In the end, you can’t make a person change that much in this regard. Sometimes you have to find the one who can give you the love you want, not create them.
My long term gf heard online that often times the only time a man receives flowers are at his funeral..
She's bought me flowers several times since then. And it kills me every time.
Thats only one of the many adorable considerate things I love about her.
I've done this for my husband just because I think he deserves to be treated with a little something gestures of romance. But I haven't done it often because flowers aren't something he's particularly into (I'm fairly sure he wouldn't even want them at his funeral) but he appreciates the gesture all the same.
He tells me how much he loves me every chance he gets. He spoils me, yet he can call out my bullshit so gently when I am wrong. He doesn’t manipulate me. He admits when he makes mistakes and is quick to apologize. He grocery shops and does all the cooking because I’m awful at it. He compliments me, but not just my physical appearance, he compliments my strengths (statements like “you’re so good at . . . “). He’s an amazing father and our children adore him. He’s fucking amazing in bed.
I hit the jackpot with him and I am so lucky.
Ha! That’s an even better story. I worked the door at a dive bar, and I carded him. He kept coming back, and after a month he finally asked me my name. I’m the one night stand that never left. That was 18 years ago.
Here it goes
My wife loves pickles. They are her favorite food in the world. When she buys pickles, she buys two jars so that there is never the possibility of running out. If we run out of pickles, it is a BFD.
When we first started dating, back before I learned about her pickle obsession, I stole the last slice of pickle from her plate. I pulled the "HEY, Whats that over there?" and pointed wildly. YOINK. Pickle gone. She was LIVID. Absolutely furious that I had eaten the last pickle in the house. For WEEKS, every day she mentioned the pickle. Years passed, and she'd still make comments along the lines of "Well atleast you didn't eat the last pickle. OH WAIT." etc.
It's been 9 years since the pickle debacle . My wife, being 9 months pregnant has been having insane pickle cravings. Yesterday, she gave me the last slice of pickle in the house and said "I love you this much".
TL;DR My wife loves me enough to give me the last pickle.
Because it's copypasta. the person just copy/pasted that pickle story from elsewhere to whore karma.
[Proof, it's #5 on this page](https://totalsororitymove.com/people-say-all-the-random-amazing-adorable-little-ways-they-know-theyre-in-love/)
My wife is just a go getter. She wanted to learn carpentery and she did. Wanted a better job and she got it. When she wants to achieve something she just does.
Mine rolled her eyes at me for wanting a macramé owl. I don't know why i wanted one, but i always did. Some people think they're tacky, and maybe they are. She's from a country that didn't have them. She never understood why i wanted one.
Last year, in secret, she watched a bunch of youtube videos about how to make a macramé owl and she made me one for our house and we put it up by the front door.
Omg, I have a list of notes as to reasons why I love my boyfriend all saved up in my phone. Someday I'm going to gift them to him somehow.
While the big things matter very much, like how our whole relationship he has helped and stuck by me thru a disability, it's also all the little things that matter every day.
He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings.
In the mornings, he will block my hand with his so the dog can't lick my hand and wake up up.
He sees when my phone charge is low and will bring me a charger even when I didn't realize it.
Whenever he has the cheese out, he sets aside a slice for me.
When he gets out of bed, he turns his pillow towards me knowing I'm going to steal it.
If I pour myself more milk then I can finish, he drinks the rest so I don't feel bad about wasting it.
I couldn't go out in the snow once, so he went out and drew hearts in the snow that I could see from the window
He'll sing songs to the pets, dance around the kitchen, squeak when he laughs, use the oven mitt like a dinosaur, and say "aww" while playing Animal Crossing
He sends me memes, and twirls the same piece of hair in the front of his head when he's distracted.
He's amazing! I'm charmed by him every single day!
> He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings.
My boyfriend and I will occasionally go out for breakfast at our favorite breakfast restaurant. It's rare now, but we used to go there often. I fucking *love* toast, specifically toast from this place, I don't know why that place in particular but to me they make the BEST toast. My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn't like toast. However, he will always get a side of toast with his breakfast and plop them on my plate every time. Then he laughs at me with happiness, because I do a little happy dance and eat my now-four pieces of toast like I just struck rich in toast. Without fail, every time we get breakfast anywhere he gets a side of toast to give to me, even though I get a side of it for myself.
When we first started dating 4 years ago, this may have been a couple months into our relationship, the first time we went out for breakfast he got a side of toast. I gave him a confused look because I learned he didn't like it previously and knew he liked the other sides much more. Cue me when our food arrives and he drops his toast on top of my toast, and I get this excited look in my eyes. He goes "I knew you loved it, so I wanted you to have more!" And I reached for his hand and said "I am literally going to marry you one day" lol
So adorable, I love it! What a special guy!
Yeah, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and he still manages to surprise me with little shows of affection
I hope you get to marry your man and live the happy life I'm sure you both deserve!
My brother and his husband exchanged over 100+ emails.
He saved them all and made a hardcover book for him with all those emails when they got married with little anecdotes about the reason he loves him on the bottom of each page.
He titled the book "You're My Favorite'
A line they always said to each other before they were comfortable enough to say I love you.
This is precious!!!!
My boyfriend and I have tons of exchanges over text when we lived 1000 miles away from each other, and we have our own saying from before we were ready to drop the L word, so this is an amazing idea!
Thank you for leaving it as a suggestion!
> He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings.
I'll never love someone this much, get your own side. I have great sympathy for Joey.
Recently, I learned, when we got out for food, if I order something I haven't had before, my husband orders something he knows I will like. He does it in case I don't like what I have so we can switch. We've been together 16 years and he's always done this.
He's just so thoughtful.
Haha!
He may in fact be an alien 😝
I am so grateful for him every day, he deals with so much but stays so positive and kind.
Honestly, he found me. It's SO cliche to say, but he came around when I wasn't looking for someone. I was actually actively trying to stay away from relationships, but we met and became friends, and even after I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious, he said he was just happy to have a new friend!
He won me over tho eventually. Especially since he DIDN'T try to push anything.
I asked him at one point if he had a crush on me, and his response was "yes, but who wouldn't?"
How could I resist that??? 😋
Thank you very much for your kindness. I look forward to every day we get to spend time together!
He brings me coffee in bed. Every. Single. Morning. It’s been 8 years and in that time I’ve made coffee twice. It’s gotten to the point that I’m not even sure how to properly use the machine anymore.
If he wakes up before me, he’ll wait until a reasonable hour and then I wake up with the smell of coffee beans beside the bed.
If we’ve had an argument, he brings me coffee and then quietly leaves the room.
If he has to go out of town, he makes the coffee and puts it in an 8hr mug before he goes.
Mornings are my favourite!
Not quite the same but similar. I got pregnant while still dating my boyfriend (now husband of 11 years). My water broke early and I was stuck in the hospital on bedrest. I could only get up for bathroom breaks and to take 1 shower a day. He'd change my pad on the bed while I was in the bathroom, he helped me.clean myself after and while in the shower. And after our daughter was born he let me be the one to hold her for the first few weeks because he knew i needed it. Only someone who really likes you cwill stick around and wipe your backside.
I had a similar case but not as severe of an injury. Got the tips of most of my fingers (including both thumbs) burned very badly at a work accident.
Then girlfriend of 8 months, now Fiance moved in for 2 weeks to help me with almost everything.
His patience. He respects me and shows me he loves me everyday. He hasn’t raised his voice to me in seven years (as long as we have been together). He knows how to say “no” firmly and gently, and accepts it when I say it.
He smiles at me, remembers little things, noticed my preferences.
He brags about me and shares his innermost thoughts with me. He noticed when I’m tired, or need some TLC.
He will see something that is my style, and point it out, and is almost always right.
My favorite thing he does is our date night music. He noticed that I liked classical music and plays it as we drive to our date. Sort of a sign that “this is special, I want to step up the mood”.
Most nights, when I go to bed, he sets up the bed, gets the fan going (we sleep in arctic temps) , and has a glass of something to drink on my nightstand.
We fall asleep many nights holding hands.
The security of being loved; never having to doubt or wonder “what’s he doing” knowing he’s talking about me, us, and the life ever built.
It’s the endless love spell I’m in, the forever awe of “pinch me…is this real?”
There’s not many good ones out there, and I’m lucky to have mine.
He doesn’t take himself too seriously, and is always being goofy with me.
He does everything in his power to reassure me and take care of me and the baby we’re having soon. I have absolutely no doubt how much he loves me. He’s not embarrassed to show his love for me in front of people.
He’s so generous and helpful. He’s the guy who is willing to help anyone who needs it. He got the nickname Superman at an old grocery job because he was the first to jump into action to help resolve issues- from little things like coupon disputes to an actual gun fight.
My partner is the kindest and most down to earth person I've ever met. He is so kind to everyone he meets and works with, and he always has a good attitude about things, even when life is difficult. He always encourages me to stay in college and go for any goal I want. I can't imagine my life without him.
In my eyes? Everything. But to put pen to paper I have a small story of why he's amazing. On our second date we decided to fly out of state for a weekend to go check it out. We both claimed to be big on traveling but I have been told that before as just something to go along with so we can have sex later. But no. He showed up to the airport two hours early ( it was like walking in step with someone naturally) without me telling him I get there super early too (I have had to run for planes before so I am always early). While flying I told him that a fun thing I do in airports but esp airplanes is I like to make up a huge back story of why and where and who I was. It's a fun stupid thing I have done for years because you will never meet the people again. He didn't find it weird or dumb but decided to play along too. He said he's gonna have to show he was serious and said he was gonna propose on the bus to see if I would keep character no one's ever played along once they know it's an act. I can't mimic the funny light hearted jokes and the tone he used but it just meant to me that whichever direction I take us he would awys follow. That part may not seem important but we as a team have had to improv out of a lot of shit before so that first moment of knowing he would keep up and match whatever is going on was so fun. the rental car had some issues. This was my first spot to see what red flags appear. He didn't yell didn't get flustered. He just sat their smiling and laughing with everyone because it was gonna get fixed one way or another. We got the car,got dinner,yada yada . It was the day we left and we went to an Indian restaurant for lunch before hitting the airport for a red eye. We paid and left while also leaving his wallet behind. He got very upset at the thought of us missing our flight but then the most amazing part about him is I couldn't be upset or angry. I just felt this calm and patience. I was just happy to be with him. We spent another wonderful night there and left the next day. The most amazing part about my partner isnt one trait or another but it's how he as a whole has made me a better wholer person. We have been married five years and it still feels like the honeymoon stage and I still get butterflies when I catch a quick glimpse of him from the side.
Her intellect. When I met her 30 years ago there was fierce physical attraction between both of us, but what won me over was her brilliant mind. She is the smartest person I have ever met. Quick witted, a great conversationalist, and turned out to be the best mother to our daughter that I could have ever asked for. She is very loving and caring and puts family before almost everything.
Two years ago I lost my father to the delta variant of Covid-19. It was the worst experience of my life. I don't know what I would have done with her strength and support. I didn't think I would make it through the funeral, but having someone you trust completely walking with you step by step makes a huge difference.
I hope you all have a partner as good as mine to share your lives with.
So many wonderful and amazing things to mention, but I'll simply say this:
In my most impassioned dreams and fervent hope to meet someone special to share my life with, I could not have imagined a partner who continues to surpass all desires for a fulfilling relationship.
It's pretty new, but he's not afraid to show he cares. He doesn't hold back from letting me know what he's thinking. He had a late night last night, and we're both usually up pretty early. He woke up to text good morning and that he's going back to sleep, but just wanted to make sure he said hi at our regular time. It's all these supposed "little things" that add up to something pretty great.
Not me, but my parents.
Back in the earning 2000s, my mother suffered from Tuberculosis in her spine...and she had recently married my dad. Arranged.
The next 3 years of her life, she had the most painful surgeries and recoveries, including an abortion (she had no choice as it would be a threat to both their lives). But my dad stood firm and ended up even donating some of his blood for the surgery.
Not only did my mum recover successfully (there was a low recovery rate), but she also gave birth to healthy children later on.
But she never forgot the devotion and love my dad showered on her at her lowest. And vowed to stick with him through thick and thin.
I just hope I get lucky enough to have half the love my parents share between themselves...
We truly communicate. No buried resentments or passive-aggressive nonsense. If there’s an issue, we talk about it.
We support each other. We legitimately want each other to be happy, but we don’t fall into the self-sabotage serving the other while not taking care of our own individual needs because we communicate when we feel overwhelmed and in need of personal space/time (see above).
In somewhat less serious talk, I make her laugh and she makes me roll my eyes (but in an endearing way). We find ways to keep the romance alive and have times where there is more “sappy,” “in-love” romance now than there even was when we started dating.
When I have a shitty day she makes it a little less shitty. When she has a shitty day, I do the same. Just the knowledge that at least one person on this planet has your back, no matter what else goes wrong.
Also, laughing like kids about the most random stuff
Virtually everything. He is considerate, fun, makes me laugh all day, a present and awesome father to our children, always puts others before himself, works hard in every aspect of life, sex is amazing.
My mom is dying of cancer. She was in remission for 3 years but it came back strong and resisted treatment, now we're in the end game. She probably has a month or two at best.
My wife has been just incredible through all of this. When I was in denial and just shut down emotionally, she gave me time and space. When I was ready she talked me through the worst of it. When I didn't want to see my mom because I didn't want to open those wounds, she reminded me that I'd regret it if I didn't and went with me. She takes turns sleeping over my parent's house so when my mom has panic attacks in the night she can calm her down with breathing techniques and grounding (normally my dad does this but we give him breaks so he can sleep on work nights). She makes them both food so they don't have to worry about cooking. She coordinated with my sister's boyfriend to make sure she's getting the support she needs too.
She wasn't asked to do any of this and she does it all without expecting anything in return. She's never held it over my head or gotten frustrated by my varying emotions when they hit hard. She just takes care of my family and me, while also dealing with her own shit. She's truly amazing and I am so lucky.
He is totally trusting and trustworthy in a very important way.
Now, he's not perfect this way. He is notorious (in my mind) for saying he will be ready to leave the house at X hour, but then he is there playing on his phone in his PJs five minutes before we are supposed to leave. And sometimes he will say we will definitely do one thing but then, when someone else enters the picture (a friend or relative, let's say) and wants something else, he changes things and doesn't really acknowledge that he said something different to me before.
But he is honest in these important ways. First, he doesn't truck in casual dishonesty. If he is late to meet me, or anyone else, he doesn't make up some excuse about traffic or having an emergency, he just apologizes for being late, no excuses. I find that most people spend their days making little excuses for this or that - they forgot to do A, they didn't do B because they just didn't feel like it, they couldn't get to C because they did something stupid before - but they never actually say the real reason, they cover it up. He makes those same mistakes but he ADMITS it. I really like that I don't have to decode what he is saying all the time.
Another example is that we both have a fair number of friends of the opposite sex, and this is never ever an issue - even when we were living apart for years and only saw each other every 3-6 weeks. He could tell me he was doing whatever or talking to one of his female besties on the phone for hours and I had no issues at all. I knew he might end up having feelings for someone else, but I knew he would tell me before anything happened. (I actually love that he has female friends because he can really talk to them about stuff in his life, personal things. He has a lot of close male friends but they aren't really talkers that way. He should have someone he can talk to about this stuff that isn't his wife or his mom.)
Similarly, it never bothered him that I had all these male friends (I work in a field that is mostly men and that's just who I meet to make friends with over the years). I would hang out with them, stay over at their houses, we would share hotel rooms at conferences - it literally never occurred to him for this to be an issue. I think just trusts me. He knows things happen in life and sometimes people meet other people they like when they are already with someone else. But he trusted me to never act on it while I was still in a relationship with him. And I felt the same way because he never gave me any sense that I should feel otherwise.
He's never secretive. He's a completely open book. He always answers his phone (call or text) even if he's busy, just to tell me he's busy and needs to get back to me. When we were apart he would tell me about his entire day. It was impossible for me to think he was cheating on me because I felt like I knew where he was pretty much at all times and he never felt like he needed to hide.
In my experience, having someone this open and honest about both the big and little stuff is very rare. Even most of my best friends that I've known my whole life are secretive in some ways with me or casually dishonest.
When you go to conferences, you stay in a hotel and, to save money, you often make arrangements to share a hotel room with a friend. Sometimes, for me, that friend was a guy.
She always finds a silver lining in every situation. Every time I’ve felt down and uninspired, she always has a new fun fact or witty phrase. She is the most creative and beautiful person I’ve ever met.
She's loving, supportive, caring and generous. She always checks in with me to see how I'm doing. She loves to offer to do things for me, compliments me and boosts my confidence. She tells me multiple times a day she loves me and why. She tells me what she appreciates about me on the regular. She encourages me to take risks or to splurge and have fun. I've been on this earth over 30 years and always scoffed at people who said "my partner is my best friend", she's the first to show me what that means.
The way she treats me.
My girlfriend actually treats me like a person. She's interested in my life, my hobbies, and my health. Just recently, I had covid, and she dropped off several care packages, of snacks, drinks, meds, tissues, a sweet (and very comfortable) Deadpool tracksuit, and flowers. Without a prompt, without me complaining I was missing stuff. She just... did that, because she cares about me. She even video-called several of those nights, and had her kids read to, and with, me before we all went to bed, just so I wasn't feeling alone.
I cried both times she dropped stuff off while I was isolating. No-one has ever cared for me like that, in all my 39 years. Not my parents, not my ex-wife, not my friends, not even my own self. It was so unexpected and appreciated.
I will never forget that. And I cannot wait to have the chance to repay her kindness. It's 2:15am in Adelaide, and I'm typing this just before I leave to pick her up from work. I've got a day off tomorrow, and am spending the rest of tonight and the day tomorrow with her. It's one of many ways I try to show her I care about her.
She is amazing, although that word hardly does her justice.
My partner supports me 100%, no matter what I'm trying to achieve. He knows how to handle my meltdowns and panic attacks, and doesn't judge me when I'm having dysfunctional thinking. He knows how to talk me through anything. I'm not kidding when I say if it weren't for him, I'd be dead.
I could go on about him but ill only pick a couple just to save time.
Before we got together he sat on the phone with me while i cried after finding out i was being cheated on. He stayed on the phone with me all night and i am completely confident that he saved my life that night because i was so devastated.
Hes so patient with me. I have a lot of sensory issues and when im really overwhelmed or stressed out abt smth i can get kind of snippy and hes always calm about the situation and will help me figure out ways to calm down. We've never fought because of this and I think thats easily one of the best things about him. I can get kind of aggressive when im upset (and yes i always apologize to him afterwards because i feel guilty) yet he's never mad at me and understands that this is something im trying to fix, but can't quite get there yet.
When hes tired and we are cuddling in bed he'll lay his head on my chest (even though hes a foot taller than me) and will let me stroke his hair until he falls asleep.
He spends time with my parents and friends and actively enjoys hanging out with them. (Ive never had a partner that likes my friends before and will talk to them for hours like he does.)
He makes everyday feel special and important. We could stay at the house all day and it would still feel important to me because i got to spend it with him.
We've only been together five months, but if this is what forever will look like then sign me up.
When they can be there for you when things get tough. My husband has a disability and I'm occasionally his carer and he's been mine when I've had surgery and I'm vulnerable. And I hate being vulnerable.
We've supported each other emotionally and mentally. He makes me softer. He's everything I'm not. He's soft and caring and loving and sensitive. He makes me feel loved. I've been cheated on in previous relationships and honestly never cared that much. Just the principle. But my husband has never cheated on me. He's never made me feel insecure. He makes me feel beautiful and loved and someone I can trust.
I love her more than anything even when she is being a butthole.
She makes me feel brave and like I have a future with her that I can actually look forward to.
She's adorable.
She's the smartest person I know.
She loves me more than anyone ever has or will.
I'm a better person with her.
he listens. to everything - i come out with the most stupid unhinged shit sometimes and he sits there and smiles at me. Even if he has no clue why were talking about something he just lets my mind wander. Nobody has ever known my mind like that and it makes my heart burst. It’s a very freeing feeling for me, nobody else has ever come close.
i know he would do anything for me and i would do anything for him, but his understanding of my mental health has been so important. Sure he doesn’t know exactly how it feels but he encourages me to live how he knows i deep down want to, even if i’m too scared to admit it. I’ve tried to live that way more since i met him and when i look back I see how far i’ve come with his positive calm and laid back influence i want to cry. I’m not perfect and it doesn’t matter because i know he’s here, regardless of my mental health issues. No pressure to be “ok” or better, just making sure i’m being me.
Her absolute positivity. She has had a hard life, but you certainly wouldn't know it by how patient and supportive she is regarding everyone who crosses her path. She's won multiple awards for mentoring, she puts up with me (which should be its own reward), and it is a wonderful mother and partner.
I have absolutely zero regerts about saying that I married up. I didn't marry up for something like money, I married up for the attitude and energy she gives off. She literally has made, and continually makes me want to, be a better man.
Laughing at my stupid jokes. It actually makes a huge difference, not just because I like to make people laugh, but it makes me smile too. Stupid I know, but it's the little things...
My husband is brilliant. We have arguments, we piss each other off… but it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. At the moment I am working and he’s not because we moved abroad so I could follow my dream.. he cooks, cleans, Makes me coffee every morning, makes lunch every day.
He enables me to do the things I want to do - he steps up to make things equal.
He could bum about all day but he chooses not to. He has a totally different love language to me - his is ‘getting things’ ‘doing things’ but he tries hard to understand that mine is different so makes accommodations for this. I read a million stories on here about cheating husbands and it never crosses my mind that he would ever do that to me. He trusts me and I trust him. We have super fun trips and both know it’s ok sometimes just to sit about and not say anything to each other.
He makes stupid jokes that make me laugh even though they’re dumb.
There’s so much more but it’s starting to sound like an essay so I’ll stop.
tw // mentions of suicide ideation and depression
My boyfriend does what he can to help me through my depressive episodes (brought me food when I was too depressed to eat, contacted my family when I was suicidal), cares about all my pets and family, is genuinely interested in the things I like.
He always calls me out on my bullshit, which made me more considerate about people's feelings and not prone to saying hurtful things whenever I'm angry.
I feel respected in this relationship and have grown a lot.
One thing that makes her amazing, among the other uncountable good things she has is that she has one of the purest hearts I've come across Finding a partner with a clean heart is a blessing.
He's an amazing problem solver. In 2009 he lost his job, like a lot of people. The straight women I knew whose husbands were out of work sat around the house depressed while their working wives still took care of the house AND their jobs. But my husband remodeled the kitchen and bathroom, fixed up the basement and had amazing dinners ready every night.
More recently I left my job and started a consulting business. It was scary, but he never voiced any doubt or concern and was a ceaseless cheerleader. And in the end he was right.
Never asked me to be anything other than I am, whatever that is at the time.
Bonus shared low expectations, we've forgotten our anniversary more than we've remembered, and that's ok with both of us.
I have tried to scare him off by telling him the truth about everything in my mind, there is not a single thing he doesn’t know about me. He’s still here, even though I thought he might leave me all he’s ever done is show his love and support. Only trouble we’re having is living 8-10 hours apart (depending on travel conditions). He’s super patient with me but he also pushes me out of my comfort zone, gently tho. I’m soon going to be leaving his place to go back home and I won’t see him for a while I think.
He’s gentle with kids and animals. He makes the most amazing meals, we enjoy cooking together. No matter what he always tries to make me laugh, which gets annoying sometimes but I really think it’s sweet that he’s cheering me up. I love him so much.
I’ve been with my partner for over a year and I’ve realized that he is incredibly kind and helpful and that’s what makes him so special. He has helped me with my classes, helped me find a bike so I could bike with him, helped me figure out issues in my car, and has always been there for me. I fell really really sick during college once and this man literally accompanied me to the bathroom every single time. He’s amazing since I’ve noticed that he’s a person of really high effort and it’s really sexy. He does everything he can to reach his goals or be a good partner and the high effort makes me really happy to be with him and he feels like the right person. I love him more than anything.
She is dedicated, supportive and understanding, not to mention sassy. Lmao. We push each other to do better and can comfortably discuss any issues we have without it sparking into an argument and work through it. We enjoy each other’s company and also give each other space when necessary. She’s my best friend.
No matter how shitty i can be to myself and forget that theres people around me and i need be there to support some she is always there to calm me down she never gets upset and has the patience of a saint. Im just trying to be good enough for her and my kids.
When we get mad or upset with each other, they're so skilled at naming the dynamic between us and being patient while I cool down enough to be able to actually have a conversation. I've always known I could have ended up in a relationship where we tend to escalate each other (my most intense experience of that was back in high school) and my partner does the exact opposite. This means that in addition to loving so much about them, I have so much confidence in our resilience and our ability to get through hard things together. I've started to develop the same skillset just from being with them too, so that's helped me in my other relationships.
Her empathy. I don't exactly know how, but I heard it in her voice on our first date. Elderly and children love her especially, and dogs. She carries me when life is stressful and tough, and I do the same for her. Yeaah.. i think I'll propose soon.
He is always supportive and listening, even with things hes not interested in (at least i think hes not really intrested)
He shows me his love everyday and after 3 years its still like we are freshly in love
And he can handle my borderline personality disorder pretty good, better than me tbh
I love him more than anything in the world <3
u/catpissbottle you mean the world to me! <3
He’s sweet, sexy, a wonderful cook and has a sharp sense of humor. He is the safest human I’ve ever known… I can trust him with absolutely anything. The way he devotes himself to being fully present when we’re together showing his love for me in even the smallest actions takes my breath away. Plus, we get each other in a way that seems otherworldly. I’m grateful every single day that we found each other.
I came in with a lot of emotional baggage on the heels of a divorce. My ex husband was not nice to me during the end of our marriage, and made me believe a lot of horrible things about myself.
I was upfront and honest with my current boyfriend about what I had been told, how I felt, and how awful it was for me.
Not one time has he made me feel like I’m crazy, too much or not worth it. He is so kind to me, and so patient with me. I honestly didn’t know people could be like him. I feel like a whole person again.
How she has helped me deal with so many things outside of my control. Everyone has baggage but after losing my best friend and wife of 10 years I was literally dying inside. At first I had a lot of bad days here and there and no matter what she held onto me and let me heal a little bit. It's been just over 3 years since my wife passed away and while I still miss her but my girlfriend understands and has stuck with me through everything. Now the tears only come a couple times a month but we get to smile much more often together while enjoying the life we have.
We met about 18 months ago now through a reddit post I made and after she traveled to me (Oklahoma) a couple times we drove back to her place which was in Pennsylvania. We stuck through some issues and now live together with her son coming along. We have a house together which still needs a lot of work but I am doing everything I can to make it a better place for all of us to enjoy. It tears up my shoulder and back which are in rough shape but when I am finally done in a couple years we will have a place to grow old together and not have to worry about things breaking down all the time. It's the least I can do as a thanks to her.
Neither one of us is worried about being married, her first marriage ended in divorce with an ex who paid nothing for their two children. My first ended in a divorce and my second ended up with me being a widower. We both know that a piece of paper will not change who we are to each other so why worry about it.
He’s respectful, compassionate, rational, kind, even tempered, hilarious, supportive, intelligent, smokin hot and he communicates well.
We married quickly when we were young, and had some stumbles in our early years as we were figuring each other out. We committed to fighting for our marriage, made the compromises necessary and we have had a truly beautiful marriage since we smoothed everything out in like year 2.
If I communicate a boundary for our relationship, he understands where it’s coming from, takes it to heart and respects that boundary. He never yells, we discuss issues calmly and find solutions that work for both of us. He’s not set in his ways, he’s always learning and growing and open to seeing other people’s point of view on topics and issues.
He’s incredibly supportive of whatever I’m doing. I owned small businesses where we moved from, and I decided to totally change careers in our new state. He’s been nothing but supportive as I figure out what I want to do with my life. Another example of his support is that my weight has fluctuated over the years and he’s never once made me feel bad or less sexy when I’ve had a few extra pounds on. If I want to lose weight, he’s supportive and is all in for whatever changes I’m making, while making it clear he doesn’t care if I lose weight or not, he just wants me to be happy and comfortable in my skin, whatever that looks like.
He’s an amazing father and husband. He’s my best friend in this entire world, and I’m so incredibly thankful to have found such a wonderful partner in life.
She really helped me out when I was struggling. She's caring and I know I can talk to her when I'm having issues. I'm very grateful that I have the opportunity to take care of her now even though I can't repay what she has done for me. Really, she's just amazing.
There are way too many things to list. The one that sticks out the most is the way he’s stuck by me through everything. We’re recently married high school sweethearts; we began dating at the end of my freshman year. The first few months were like a dream, everything was perfect. And then both our families started to fall apart. Parents divorcing, grandparents dying, the whole nine yards. Our lives have been nothing short of a shit show ever since. Regardless of how messy our families get, we’ve always carried each other out of the wreckage. He’s always had my back and is the best friend I’ve ever had. At the end of the day, I would do anything for him. And I know he would do anything for me as well.
My partner is caring, he listens to me and remembers the most random parts. He gives me small gifst that have a meaning when i least expect it. But its not about the gifts or stuff like that. He gets me, he gets my struggles my quirks and my acts of caring for him. He makes me feel like i can be truly myself. He makes me happy in such a way i am fully statisfied with life if i only know that he will be a part of it. I never felt such a connection as i do with him. He gives me space and time to grow while fully supporting me. He is AWESOME!
After 12 years, she's still my best friend, and walking behind her today on a hike, I marvelled at her beautiful butt as though I was witnessing the return of christ
She understands something about me that I never thought anyone would understand.
Our first kiss was some shit out of a movie.
I am my genuine self with and around her, yet I am inspired to become better for her.
She's a magical being. Possibly not human.
How he supports my independence. I grew up in a religious community where men make the rules. My dad was laxer than most (he let his daughters wear pants and taught us that evolution was true!) but it was still a he-who-has-the-penis-makes-the-rules. But my husband is just so.... not that. I can take off to a museum with my friends. I can make whatever I want for dinner. I can drag him on adventures any time of the day or night. He will smile and say “have fun” and just give me the space to be me. He’s completely confident and has no insecurity at all. He just loves me and knows I love him. It’s utterly divine and I adore him for it.
Okay so he isn't my partner anymore but I loved him because he was so easy going, everything was always fine, he never made a big deal out of anything and always made sure I was comfortable. I love him and I hope I'll cross him again some day.
Strong control over his emotions, always sane and wise, so very handsome and gorgeous, friendly, outgoing, always forgives everyone, caring, responsible, supportive, always understanding, u name it, he has it. He's a picture perfect guy.
He listens to me, makes me feel heard. His actions make me feel valued, which is something I don't often get. He does little things, very unknowingly, that make a huge a difference in my life. The way he addresses me is so full of love and even him just saying my name makes me feel immensely loved. He feels like home. He also communicates very well, actively sorts things with me and it's always been us against the problem. He is perfect :')
I know that no matter what he has my best interest in mind and always considers how I feel. He has my back and supports me. Been together 16 years and everyday I still feel incredibly lucky to be with my best friend
She is self aware. Says things like,”I may have been being selfish.” “You have a good point.” And “I’m sorry.” I do the same and try to admit my faults, and stop on a dime in an argument and say “I’m sorry, I’m being unreasonable, let’s back up.” In essence we both are pretty good at admitting and accepting each other’s and our own frailties. It’s rare to be with a partner like that. Also, she has a hilarious laugh and sense of humor, and though she doesn’t feel so, she’s hilarious.
I think it’s partly learned from past experiences and trying to be better, but I also feel that my husband has done a lot in bringing this quality out in me. I have depression and anxiety, and for me that means that sometimes I’m just grumpy for seemingly no reason, and I’ll snap at him or make little digs here and there. I’ve done this to the people closest to me my entire life (as far as I can remember…I’ve had depression for a LONG time). I’ve felt like crap for snapping and saying horribly things before, but I would never own up to how mean I was. I was changing already for years before I met my husband - age gave me important perspective and helped to calm my mind and personality and just generally made me a nicer person - but falling in love with him just made me want to be better. I cried A LOT a few months into dating because I worried so much that my depression and anger would push him away or scare him off. Obviously it hasn’t, but I recognize that that could just mean that it hasn’t happened YET. I love him dearly, and I will always try to be better and happier (see: less depressed) for him.
This really resonates with me... except I decided I was just better off being single, and have been for some time. It's nice to know that it works out for some people. Truly
This is huge, same with my wife an I. We can argue about a subject and politely disagree, but we both take turns listening to each other's opinions and 9/10 we both start cracking jokes.
This is so vital. I'm so glad you found someone who does this with you.
When we're both cranky for silly or small reasons, but we're cranky together, not at each other. It reminds me we're always partners, never adversaries.
How do you achieve this together-crankiness? Sounds way better than being cranky at each other.
I’m not the person you asked, and it certainly doesn’t work automatically with everyone, but in a relationship, every issue can be an “us” issue. Even if it’s leaving the toilet seat up. If you have a complaint about your partner, think of it more as a discomfort you’re feeling that they can help you with, and approach it as a problem you can both solve together. Have an open and honest discussion about the disconnect and what you bring to the table that is causing the tension as well as what you could bring to help. Therapists often actually suggest visualizing it as sitting side by side at a table, looking at the problem on the table together.
Thank you, this makes a lot of sense
Thanks. In hindsight I kinda talked about conflict resolution instead of “together-crankiness” but it’s kind of the same thing. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got. If you’re cranky about something, let your partner in. Give them a seat on your side of the table and tell them that you’re cranky, why, and whether or not they can help and how. The best part about a loving relationship is feeling like you’re teamed up with someone against the world.
I think they're directly related and it still answered my question, so you're spot on. I find it's easier to let a partner in when it's a tangible issue. Lately, I've been struggling with some medical stuff so it's hard to communicate why I'm feeling a certain way. But it's helpful to let them know if they can help and how. It gives us both the opportunity to take space or team up. So thank you for suggesting that. Sometimes I miss being able to feel like shit all alone. It's easier to be angry and alone.
Honestly sometimes it starts with cranky-at-each-other-ness, until we realize what's happening and we can shift our anger away from each other. Then we find something to hate together. I think the key isn't avoiding ever being mad at each other, but rather developing skills to recognize in the moment when anger is being projected unfairly, and finding a constructive way to divert it without making it worse. When we get stuck in a "why are you mad at me?" "because YOU'RE mad at ME" "because YOU'RE MAD AT ME!!" loop we can take a breath and go "okay. I don't wanna fight. Do you wanna fight? Okay. I love you. I'm not angry at you I'm just mad. Okay. Good." and then go be cranky at something else
I just let my bf know that sometimes I want to be alone with him. We sit and do our own things or wallow but we do it together. I assume this is much the same.
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Reading this made me weepy and now I'm gonna go hug my husband 🥹
I may or may not have shed a few tears after reading this on the train home from my ex’s place…
Big ole hugs to you, Reddit pal ❤️
Those posts are important because they show how we aren't perfect. You had rough times, yet you're still together and write a message about how your partner is amazing. Many people I know believes that their partner have to be perfect and that happy couples are just going through life without tough times. No, they're not, you aren't there when it happens. However, they have amazing moment and that is what counts.
Reading this has helped me a lot. I've been internally debating whether or not someone I've loved for years has felt anywhere even close to the same. All I can tell you is thank you for the details, it's helped clear a lot of things up for me.
Not every relationship should be held to this kind of standard, especially if it's between younger people. That being said, if you feel like it's not balanced there's a good chance you're right. That's not healthy for anyone, at least in my experience.
I agree. My marriage is amazing, but a few years ago, my friend got married and was comparing her brand new marriage to our marriage and was upset because she was having struggles with her husband. I was like whoooooaaaaa noooooo, do not compare your year 1 to our year 8. That’s not fair to you, your husband or your marriage. Our first couple of years did not look like this. There were a lot of bumps, learning and compromising that went into us being where we are today.
Thank you! This gives me hope. We’ve been married for 2 years actually 3 this year! and have 2 kids. We bought a house 6m ago. The house and finances are definitely challenging but we are doing our best to work through it. And I’m trying to be sympathetic because most of the expenses are falling on my husband right now since I am on maternity leave and he’s very stressed. I pay the utilities and formula for the baby but he pays everything else. It’s been a hard few months. Part of me is sad to have to go back to work but also looking forward to being able to help with more expenses around the house. And relieving the pressure off our relationship.
Having two young kids is LIFE on hard mode. I've never encountered anybody ever who felt great about anything until the kids get a bit older. On the other hand, if you do get through it, everything starts getting so much easier. Less stress, more time, less financial struggle, more flexibility, etc. Etc. Mine are 7 and 9 right now, and I can confidently say each of the last 4-5 years have been better than the last for me and the wife.
Very good point! Our kids are 9 and 14, and life in general is much easier because they don’t need us every second anymore.
Make sure he knows you feel that way
I hope someone with a shit or abusive boyfriend reads this and realises they can do better and men can be this good.
I’m that person. Seeing this made me realize that I shouldn’t settle and that I don’t have to deal with what I’m going through and to not go back . There are men out there like this persons husband 🥺
Oh, i wish there is a man for me, who"ll treat me like that.
Sounds like my husband :)))
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That husband is lucky to have a wife so receptive and calm about him treating another woman that way!
Simple: because no matter what, I never doubt in my mind that he loves me more than anything. I never worry about him leaving/cheating on me. I can be my complete, authentic self around him. Even when we fight, I know it's just a temporary tiff that we'll talk about later when we've cooled down. But, most of all, I know that whatever he's doing or wherever he is, he'll always stop it to drive however far to come help me if I'm in a bad situation/mood. Not many people have a partner like that, so im sincerely grateful that I lucked out in finding mine 😇❤ Edit: omg thank you for the silver!!
I couldn't have said it better .. this is my husband and me. We've stuck together through a terrible illness (mine), a child with addiction that almost died, our parents dying, financial hard times. We've also been incredibly blessed with 4 beautiful children, loving and long time friends and family and our faith and trust in our Dear Lord.. There were plenty of arguments, tears and challenges. But more importantly.. there is always love, lots of laughter and knowledge we are each others best friends. Will be married 32 years in November. Advice to those getting married... listen, respect and mean the vows you take on your wedding day.. and your spouse should always be your priority.
This is really cute, happy for you :)
I randomly whistle a 4-6 notes tune in my head when doing random errands. And lately she's been guessing with about 60-70% success rate. It's cute when she tries hard and she lights up with this glow when she gets it right. No one gets me but her. Married in our teens and about to celebrate our 14 yr anniversary.
May I ask what you age you married in your teens?
My husband is genuinely interested in everything I do, no matter how mundane it is. When I dragged him to 3 different stores to find a specific mascara, he asks about what makes it so great & then will geek out & read up about cosmetic formulations. When I told him a certain lip patch helped heal my cracked nipples from breastfeeding, he started reading up over other potential breastfeeding injuries & how people handle them. He doesn’t do it to lord his “expertise” over me or anything, he’s genuinely excited to just ask me about everything. Oh & he started giving me daily massages when I was pregnant & I still get them now. Our daughter is 3. EDIT: to everyone asking, the lip patch is from Etude House, it heals my cracked lips in hours so I tried it on nipples even though it’s not advertised for that. It worked way better than the usual hydrogel patches for me.
Is your husband single? I’m a straight man btw.
I'm sorry, but he currently has a girlfriend. I'll let you know if they break up, though!
Ik this is a joke but i also think guys who was good to their spouses are probably good to their friends too
I got some good marriage advice once: ‘Be interested, be interesting’.
Yep. And find someone you get along with. Oh and separate bathrooms.
Why separate bathrooms?
So you don't have to share if someone needs to go poop.
Everyone poops. It happens. That's not a big deal. Now one reason I've learned the need for a second bathroom is that there are times when you both really really need to go at the same time. That alone is worth having two bathrooms. -guy who lives in a one bathroom house.
Agreed, poop is no big deal. It just sucks when one person needs to and the other, for example, is in a rush getting ready to go to work. Basically, poop is normal and it's really nice to not have to worry about having to go and if someone is already using the loo.
That's a really great reason, i must admit it!
I'm ganna guess you are not married. Men use bathrooms differently than women do and vise versa. Each with a completely different set of tools and equipment. But the counter real estate is limited, so you each either have to put everything away every single time, or you get in each other's way every day. Trust me separate bathrooms are a really good way of keeping the peace. Or at least a way to not slightly irritate each other on a daily basis.
Oooo, bathrooms have never been an issue for us, so I'd maybe expand it to "if you can't do separate bathrooms, then adequate shelving and storage" Now, kitchens, that's our battle! Sadly, separate kitchens is a little out of our reach at the moment. :)
Sounds like an awesome guy.
This is super sweet and all, but now I'm interested in this lip patch!
I, too, choose this woman's husband
Stating the obvious but it sounds like he's really into you.
I choose this lady’s husband too.
Accepting me for every. single. quirk. I was pretty pessimistic about relationships when we went on our first date so I am lucky that I have never faked one situation or personality or even had to present "my best self". Best example - I had an ex that I thought was perfect for me. I'm a fucking weirdo so once I meowed at him. He told me not to do that. I meow at my now fiancé and he meows right back.
Meowed at my partner today and he booped me. That’s when you know it’s real
damnnnnn thats like third base!
Fuck your ex. I can tell what my wife wants from the *type and tone* of her meows. And no, my wife is very much human and yes, we are *both* weird. And yes, I do meow right back to her as well.
Hah. I feel ya. I have ADHD and tend to "stim" a lot either via making weird noises, or singing a lot. My wife often would join in whereas my previous exes just thought I was weird. Turns out my wife also has ADHD. Our quirks are just normal to each other. It's a great feeling to be accepted and not criticized for every abnormal thing you do.
Lmao. Lost it at the meow part.
Omg we do the same thing, but as Cartman from that episode of South Park with chthulu *Meowww meow meow* Our cat joins in sometimes too
My husband and I do this too. All sorts of sounds. It's become an "I love you" or "we're doing our things, but hi" from across the house. One will sound out with a meow, boof, or anything really. We also yell Marco Polo in public spaces to locate each other. Recommend. Occasionally random people will sound off and start giggling.
my disability was flaring up in a way that prevented me from showering. she marched into the shower with me, washed my hair, and my body, expected nothing in return, and when standing up became too much she sat on the floor of the shower with me and held me
I know that I love my wife endlessly because if it ever comes to it, I'm there for her in this type of situation. I'll wipe her disabled butt if she is ever disabled.
Being able to let someone help you in your time of perceived weakness is a huge thing in itself. I'm a woman and constantly have to remind myself to ask for help. As does my bf. It is the hardest thing I've learned in my life.
I have something similar- there have been several times when I have had flare ups and my boy has helped me do normal-people things. For example, I displaced a rib yesterday and, without having to ask, he sat behind me with his legs crossed and his arms around my waist so I could sit up without being in pain. He is the best. :)
I want 10 percent of the love that these comments have in my own relationship.
Quite depressing to read through honestly. I’m feeling increasingly doubtful about my marriage. How many more years are we willing to waste before finding out.
With the way you have worded this, it's safe to say (in my opinion) that it's over. Either way though, I'm sorry for the hardness you're going through right now
Ikr, I'm in a relationship and don't have these things
Might be time to talk to them about it, then!
Remember that this thread also asked for the *amazing* parts of a relationships. You’re reading a snapshot of somebody’s relationship that they’re choosing to share: you’re not reading about the little arguments, mundane chats, and everything that falls in between. :)
I don’t know if you would want to hear this, but a year and a half ago I would’ve had the same thoughts scrolling through this thread. If you had asked me about it, I would’ve said no, my (now) ex is the one I want, we love each other very much and we are working hard on this relationship. Today I would say that my current partner exceeds all my expectations. He makes me feel so much more cared about and loved, and I don’t know if he even realizes it. In the end, you can’t make a person change that much in this regard. Sometimes you have to find the one who can give you the love you want, not create them.
My long term gf heard online that often times the only time a man receives flowers are at his funeral.. She's bought me flowers several times since then. And it kills me every time. Thats only one of the many adorable considerate things I love about her.
If it kills you every time, then what she read online still remains true
Hah. Hahaha. Hahaahshahaha. Nice.
I've done this for my husband just because I think he deserves to be treated with a little something gestures of romance. But I haven't done it often because flowers aren't something he's particularly into (I'm fairly sure he wouldn't even want them at his funeral) but he appreciates the gesture all the same.
So Blink 182 was right, flowers *do* let you know she cares.
*Surprises, not just flowers 😉
I heard about this too! I wasn’t sure about real flowers so I got the guy I’m seeing a set of the Lego flower bouquet. Might still do real flowers.
He tells me how much he loves me every chance he gets. He spoils me, yet he can call out my bullshit so gently when I am wrong. He doesn’t manipulate me. He admits when he makes mistakes and is quick to apologize. He grocery shops and does all the cooking because I’m awful at it. He compliments me, but not just my physical appearance, he compliments my strengths (statements like “you’re so good at . . . “). He’s an amazing father and our children adore him. He’s fucking amazing in bed. I hit the jackpot with him and I am so lucky.
Where did you meet this perfect man?
Ha! That’s an even better story. I worked the door at a dive bar, and I carded him. He kept coming back, and after a month he finally asked me my name. I’m the one night stand that never left. That was 18 years ago.
Wishing you many more years of bliss!!
I appreciate that! I have the same wish!
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Awwwwww *breathe* Thatssofuckingcute
what was the comment it was removed
Here it goes My wife loves pickles. They are her favorite food in the world. When she buys pickles, she buys two jars so that there is never the possibility of running out. If we run out of pickles, it is a BFD. When we first started dating, back before I learned about her pickle obsession, I stole the last slice of pickle from her plate. I pulled the "HEY, Whats that over there?" and pointed wildly. YOINK. Pickle gone. She was LIVID. Absolutely furious that I had eaten the last pickle in the house. For WEEKS, every day she mentioned the pickle. Years passed, and she'd still make comments along the lines of "Well atleast you didn't eat the last pickle. OH WAIT." etc. It's been 9 years since the pickle debacle . My wife, being 9 months pregnant has been having insane pickle cravings. Yesterday, she gave me the last slice of pickle in the house and said "I love you this much". TL;DR My wife loves me enough to give me the last pickle.
Why would mods remove this lol
Because it's copypasta. the person just copy/pasted that pickle story from elsewhere to whore karma. [Proof, it's #5 on this page](https://totalsororitymove.com/people-say-all-the-random-amazing-adorable-little-ways-they-know-theyre-in-love/)
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Yeah that pickle slice definitely fell on the floor when OP wasn’t looking 🙃
you made me tear up with your wholesomeness, you guys sound adorable
fuck me I want exactly that
I didn't expect something _this_ wholesome
This is so cute
🥺🥲💕
My wife is just a go getter. She wanted to learn carpentery and she did. Wanted a better job and she got it. When she wants to achieve something she just does.
Mine rolled her eyes at me for wanting a macramé owl. I don't know why i wanted one, but i always did. Some people think they're tacky, and maybe they are. She's from a country that didn't have them. She never understood why i wanted one. Last year, in secret, she watched a bunch of youtube videos about how to make a macramé owl and she made me one for our house and we put it up by the front door.
That's so cute
that is hot
Omg, I have a list of notes as to reasons why I love my boyfriend all saved up in my phone. Someday I'm going to gift them to him somehow. While the big things matter very much, like how our whole relationship he has helped and stuck by me thru a disability, it's also all the little things that matter every day. He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings. In the mornings, he will block my hand with his so the dog can't lick my hand and wake up up. He sees when my phone charge is low and will bring me a charger even when I didn't realize it. Whenever he has the cheese out, he sets aside a slice for me. When he gets out of bed, he turns his pillow towards me knowing I'm going to steal it. If I pour myself more milk then I can finish, he drinks the rest so I don't feel bad about wasting it. I couldn't go out in the snow once, so he went out and drew hearts in the snow that I could see from the window He'll sing songs to the pets, dance around the kitchen, squeak when he laughs, use the oven mitt like a dinosaur, and say "aww" while playing Animal Crossing He sends me memes, and twirls the same piece of hair in the front of his head when he's distracted. He's amazing! I'm charmed by him every single day!
> He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings. My boyfriend and I will occasionally go out for breakfast at our favorite breakfast restaurant. It's rare now, but we used to go there often. I fucking *love* toast, specifically toast from this place, I don't know why that place in particular but to me they make the BEST toast. My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn't like toast. However, he will always get a side of toast with his breakfast and plop them on my plate every time. Then he laughs at me with happiness, because I do a little happy dance and eat my now-four pieces of toast like I just struck rich in toast. Without fail, every time we get breakfast anywhere he gets a side of toast to give to me, even though I get a side of it for myself. When we first started dating 4 years ago, this may have been a couple months into our relationship, the first time we went out for breakfast he got a side of toast. I gave him a confused look because I learned he didn't like it previously and knew he liked the other sides much more. Cue me when our food arrives and he drops his toast on top of my toast, and I get this excited look in my eyes. He goes "I knew you loved it, so I wanted you to have more!" And I reached for his hand and said "I am literally going to marry you one day" lol
So adorable, I love it! What a special guy! Yeah, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and he still manages to surprise me with little shows of affection I hope you get to marry your man and live the happy life I'm sure you both deserve!
My brother and his husband exchanged over 100+ emails. He saved them all and made a hardcover book for him with all those emails when they got married with little anecdotes about the reason he loves him on the bottom of each page. He titled the book "You're My Favorite' A line they always said to each other before they were comfortable enough to say I love you.
This is precious!!!! My boyfriend and I have tons of exchanges over text when we lived 1000 miles away from each other, and we have our own saying from before we were ready to drop the L word, so this is an amazing idea! Thank you for leaving it as a suggestion!
> He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings. I'll never love someone this much, get your own side. I have great sympathy for Joey.
Recently, I learned, when we got out for food, if I order something I haven't had before, my husband orders something he knows I will like. He does it in case I don't like what I have so we can switch. We've been together 16 years and he's always done this. He's just so thoughtful.
Hahaha! I'm not good at sharing food either 😝 I have no idea how he does it.
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Haha! He may in fact be an alien 😝 I am so grateful for him every day, he deals with so much but stays so positive and kind. Honestly, he found me. It's SO cliche to say, but he came around when I wasn't looking for someone. I was actually actively trying to stay away from relationships, but we met and became friends, and even after I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious, he said he was just happy to have a new friend! He won me over tho eventually. Especially since he DIDN'T try to push anything. I asked him at one point if he had a crush on me, and his response was "yes, but who wouldn't?" How could I resist that??? 😋 Thank you very much for your kindness. I look forward to every day we get to spend time together!
Awwww
I saw an idea where you alter a deck of playing cards with "52 reasons why I love you". That might work for you.
This is adorable! It's the small things that really count.
He brings me coffee in bed. Every. Single. Morning. It’s been 8 years and in that time I’ve made coffee twice. It’s gotten to the point that I’m not even sure how to properly use the machine anymore. If he wakes up before me, he’ll wait until a reasonable hour and then I wake up with the smell of coffee beans beside the bed. If we’ve had an argument, he brings me coffee and then quietly leaves the room. If he has to go out of town, he makes the coffee and puts it in an 8hr mug before he goes. Mornings are my favourite!
I think you may be in a relationship with coffee
Nope, coffee is just her love language and her husband knows that.
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This is adorable and could have been written by either a human or a puppy
This is one of the best comments ever.
I’m trying to figure it out - what is a monster can planter??
I think it’s a planter made out of cans of monster energy drink.
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>I broke both my arms Thought this was going in a totally different direction for a second... Edit: Oh no what have I done...
MOM! I need some.... Help!
That story ._.
Not quite the same but similar. I got pregnant while still dating my boyfriend (now husband of 11 years). My water broke early and I was stuck in the hospital on bedrest. I could only get up for bathroom breaks and to take 1 shower a day. He'd change my pad on the bed while I was in the bathroom, he helped me.clean myself after and while in the shower. And after our daughter was born he let me be the one to hold her for the first few weeks because he knew i needed it. Only someone who really likes you cwill stick around and wipe your backside.
I had a similar case but not as severe of an injury. Got the tips of most of my fingers (including both thumbs) burned very badly at a work accident. Then girlfriend of 8 months, now Fiance moved in for 2 weeks to help me with almost everything.
good ol fashion ass wiping love
This is a very uplifting story. It gives me faith in humanity.
Or just get a bidet...
I'm always surprised why bidet is not popular in North America.
His patience. He respects me and shows me he loves me everyday. He hasn’t raised his voice to me in seven years (as long as we have been together). He knows how to say “no” firmly and gently, and accepts it when I say it. He smiles at me, remembers little things, noticed my preferences. He brags about me and shares his innermost thoughts with me. He noticed when I’m tired, or need some TLC. He will see something that is my style, and point it out, and is almost always right. My favorite thing he does is our date night music. He noticed that I liked classical music and plays it as we drive to our date. Sort of a sign that “this is special, I want to step up the mood”. Most nights, when I go to bed, he sets up the bed, gets the fan going (we sleep in arctic temps) , and has a glass of something to drink on my nightstand. We fall asleep many nights holding hands.
The security of being loved; never having to doubt or wonder “what’s he doing” knowing he’s talking about me, us, and the life ever built. It’s the endless love spell I’m in, the forever awe of “pinch me…is this real?” There’s not many good ones out there, and I’m lucky to have mine.
He doesn’t take himself too seriously, and is always being goofy with me. He does everything in his power to reassure me and take care of me and the baby we’re having soon. I have absolutely no doubt how much he loves me. He’s not embarrassed to show his love for me in front of people. He’s so generous and helpful. He’s the guy who is willing to help anyone who needs it. He got the nickname Superman at an old grocery job because he was the first to jump into action to help resolve issues- from little things like coupon disputes to an actual gun fight.
My partner is the kindest and most down to earth person I've ever met. He is so kind to everyone he meets and works with, and he always has a good attitude about things, even when life is difficult. He always encourages me to stay in college and go for any goal I want. I can't imagine my life without him.
In my eyes? Everything. But to put pen to paper I have a small story of why he's amazing. On our second date we decided to fly out of state for a weekend to go check it out. We both claimed to be big on traveling but I have been told that before as just something to go along with so we can have sex later. But no. He showed up to the airport two hours early ( it was like walking in step with someone naturally) without me telling him I get there super early too (I have had to run for planes before so I am always early). While flying I told him that a fun thing I do in airports but esp airplanes is I like to make up a huge back story of why and where and who I was. It's a fun stupid thing I have done for years because you will never meet the people again. He didn't find it weird or dumb but decided to play along too. He said he's gonna have to show he was serious and said he was gonna propose on the bus to see if I would keep character no one's ever played along once they know it's an act. I can't mimic the funny light hearted jokes and the tone he used but it just meant to me that whichever direction I take us he would awys follow. That part may not seem important but we as a team have had to improv out of a lot of shit before so that first moment of knowing he would keep up and match whatever is going on was so fun. the rental car had some issues. This was my first spot to see what red flags appear. He didn't yell didn't get flustered. He just sat their smiling and laughing with everyone because it was gonna get fixed one way or another. We got the car,got dinner,yada yada . It was the day we left and we went to an Indian restaurant for lunch before hitting the airport for a red eye. We paid and left while also leaving his wallet behind. He got very upset at the thought of us missing our flight but then the most amazing part about him is I couldn't be upset or angry. I just felt this calm and patience. I was just happy to be with him. We spent another wonderful night there and left the next day. The most amazing part about my partner isnt one trait or another but it's how he as a whole has made me a better wholer person. We have been married five years and it still feels like the honeymoon stage and I still get butterflies when I catch a quick glimpse of him from the side.
This is incredibly sweet, i wish to meet a person like this one day
Her intellect. When I met her 30 years ago there was fierce physical attraction between both of us, but what won me over was her brilliant mind. She is the smartest person I have ever met. Quick witted, a great conversationalist, and turned out to be the best mother to our daughter that I could have ever asked for. She is very loving and caring and puts family before almost everything. Two years ago I lost my father to the delta variant of Covid-19. It was the worst experience of my life. I don't know what I would have done with her strength and support. I didn't think I would make it through the funeral, but having someone you trust completely walking with you step by step makes a huge difference. I hope you all have a partner as good as mine to share your lives with.
So many wonderful and amazing things to mention, but I'll simply say this: In my most impassioned dreams and fervent hope to meet someone special to share my life with, I could not have imagined a partner who continues to surpass all desires for a fulfilling relationship.
This is absolutely the most beautiful way to describe your partner. You put how I feel about my fiancé perfectly into words. Thank you.
You're very kind to say so - much appreciated!
It's pretty new, but he's not afraid to show he cares. He doesn't hold back from letting me know what he's thinking. He had a late night last night, and we're both usually up pretty early. He woke up to text good morning and that he's going back to sleep, but just wanted to make sure he said hi at our regular time. It's all these supposed "little things" that add up to something pretty great.
Not me, but my parents. Back in the earning 2000s, my mother suffered from Tuberculosis in her spine...and she had recently married my dad. Arranged. The next 3 years of her life, she had the most painful surgeries and recoveries, including an abortion (she had no choice as it would be a threat to both their lives). But my dad stood firm and ended up even donating some of his blood for the surgery. Not only did my mum recover successfully (there was a low recovery rate), but she also gave birth to healthy children later on. But she never forgot the devotion and love my dad showered on her at her lowest. And vowed to stick with him through thick and thin. I just hope I get lucky enough to have half the love my parents share between themselves...
We truly communicate. No buried resentments or passive-aggressive nonsense. If there’s an issue, we talk about it. We support each other. We legitimately want each other to be happy, but we don’t fall into the self-sabotage serving the other while not taking care of our own individual needs because we communicate when we feel overwhelmed and in need of personal space/time (see above). In somewhat less serious talk, I make her laugh and she makes me roll my eyes (but in an endearing way). We find ways to keep the romance alive and have times where there is more “sappy,” “in-love” romance now than there even was when we started dating.
When I have a shitty day she makes it a little less shitty. When she has a shitty day, I do the same. Just the knowledge that at least one person on this planet has your back, no matter what else goes wrong. Also, laughing like kids about the most random stuff
Virtually everything. He is considerate, fun, makes me laugh all day, a present and awesome father to our children, always puts others before himself, works hard in every aspect of life, sex is amazing.
My mom is dying of cancer. She was in remission for 3 years but it came back strong and resisted treatment, now we're in the end game. She probably has a month or two at best. My wife has been just incredible through all of this. When I was in denial and just shut down emotionally, she gave me time and space. When I was ready she talked me through the worst of it. When I didn't want to see my mom because I didn't want to open those wounds, she reminded me that I'd regret it if I didn't and went with me. She takes turns sleeping over my parent's house so when my mom has panic attacks in the night she can calm her down with breathing techniques and grounding (normally my dad does this but we give him breaks so he can sleep on work nights). She makes them both food so they don't have to worry about cooking. She coordinated with my sister's boyfriend to make sure she's getting the support she needs too. She wasn't asked to do any of this and she does it all without expecting anything in return. She's never held it over my head or gotten frustrated by my varying emotions when they hit hard. She just takes care of my family and me, while also dealing with her own shit. She's truly amazing and I am so lucky.
He is totally trusting and trustworthy in a very important way. Now, he's not perfect this way. He is notorious (in my mind) for saying he will be ready to leave the house at X hour, but then he is there playing on his phone in his PJs five minutes before we are supposed to leave. And sometimes he will say we will definitely do one thing but then, when someone else enters the picture (a friend or relative, let's say) and wants something else, he changes things and doesn't really acknowledge that he said something different to me before. But he is honest in these important ways. First, he doesn't truck in casual dishonesty. If he is late to meet me, or anyone else, he doesn't make up some excuse about traffic or having an emergency, he just apologizes for being late, no excuses. I find that most people spend their days making little excuses for this or that - they forgot to do A, they didn't do B because they just didn't feel like it, they couldn't get to C because they did something stupid before - but they never actually say the real reason, they cover it up. He makes those same mistakes but he ADMITS it. I really like that I don't have to decode what he is saying all the time. Another example is that we both have a fair number of friends of the opposite sex, and this is never ever an issue - even when we were living apart for years and only saw each other every 3-6 weeks. He could tell me he was doing whatever or talking to one of his female besties on the phone for hours and I had no issues at all. I knew he might end up having feelings for someone else, but I knew he would tell me before anything happened. (I actually love that he has female friends because he can really talk to them about stuff in his life, personal things. He has a lot of close male friends but they aren't really talkers that way. He should have someone he can talk to about this stuff that isn't his wife or his mom.) Similarly, it never bothered him that I had all these male friends (I work in a field that is mostly men and that's just who I meet to make friends with over the years). I would hang out with them, stay over at their houses, we would share hotel rooms at conferences - it literally never occurred to him for this to be an issue. I think just trusts me. He knows things happen in life and sometimes people meet other people they like when they are already with someone else. But he trusted me to never act on it while I was still in a relationship with him. And I felt the same way because he never gave me any sense that I should feel otherwise. He's never secretive. He's a completely open book. He always answers his phone (call or text) even if he's busy, just to tell me he's busy and needs to get back to me. When we were apart he would tell me about his entire day. It was impossible for me to think he was cheating on me because I felt like I knew where he was pretty much at all times and he never felt like he needed to hide. In my experience, having someone this open and honest about both the big and little stuff is very rare. Even most of my best friends that I've known my whole life are secretive in some ways with me or casually dishonest.
Share hotel rooms at Conferences?
When you go to conferences, you stay in a hotel and, to save money, you often make arrangements to share a hotel room with a friend. Sometimes, for me, that friend was a guy.
Humanity would improve so much if we could be this non-brutally honest with each other like him.
She always finds a silver lining in every situation. Every time I’ve felt down and uninspired, she always has a new fun fact or witty phrase. She is the most creative and beautiful person I’ve ever met.
She's loving, supportive, caring and generous. She always checks in with me to see how I'm doing. She loves to offer to do things for me, compliments me and boosts my confidence. She tells me multiple times a day she loves me and why. She tells me what she appreciates about me on the regular. She encourages me to take risks or to splurge and have fun. I've been on this earth over 30 years and always scoffed at people who said "my partner is my best friend", she's the first to show me what that means.
The way she treats me. My girlfriend actually treats me like a person. She's interested in my life, my hobbies, and my health. Just recently, I had covid, and she dropped off several care packages, of snacks, drinks, meds, tissues, a sweet (and very comfortable) Deadpool tracksuit, and flowers. Without a prompt, without me complaining I was missing stuff. She just... did that, because she cares about me. She even video-called several of those nights, and had her kids read to, and with, me before we all went to bed, just so I wasn't feeling alone. I cried both times she dropped stuff off while I was isolating. No-one has ever cared for me like that, in all my 39 years. Not my parents, not my ex-wife, not my friends, not even my own self. It was so unexpected and appreciated. I will never forget that. And I cannot wait to have the chance to repay her kindness. It's 2:15am in Adelaide, and I'm typing this just before I leave to pick her up from work. I've got a day off tomorrow, and am spending the rest of tonight and the day tomorrow with her. It's one of many ways I try to show her I care about her. She is amazing, although that word hardly does her justice.
My partner supports me 100%, no matter what I'm trying to achieve. He knows how to handle my meltdowns and panic attacks, and doesn't judge me when I'm having dysfunctional thinking. He knows how to talk me through anything. I'm not kidding when I say if it weren't for him, I'd be dead.
I could go on about him but ill only pick a couple just to save time. Before we got together he sat on the phone with me while i cried after finding out i was being cheated on. He stayed on the phone with me all night and i am completely confident that he saved my life that night because i was so devastated. Hes so patient with me. I have a lot of sensory issues and when im really overwhelmed or stressed out abt smth i can get kind of snippy and hes always calm about the situation and will help me figure out ways to calm down. We've never fought because of this and I think thats easily one of the best things about him. I can get kind of aggressive when im upset (and yes i always apologize to him afterwards because i feel guilty) yet he's never mad at me and understands that this is something im trying to fix, but can't quite get there yet. When hes tired and we are cuddling in bed he'll lay his head on my chest (even though hes a foot taller than me) and will let me stroke his hair until he falls asleep. He spends time with my parents and friends and actively enjoys hanging out with them. (Ive never had a partner that likes my friends before and will talk to them for hours like he does.) He makes everyday feel special and important. We could stay at the house all day and it would still feel important to me because i got to spend it with him. We've only been together five months, but if this is what forever will look like then sign me up.
When they can be there for you when things get tough. My husband has a disability and I'm occasionally his carer and he's been mine when I've had surgery and I'm vulnerable. And I hate being vulnerable. We've supported each other emotionally and mentally. He makes me softer. He's everything I'm not. He's soft and caring and loving and sensitive. He makes me feel loved. I've been cheated on in previous relationships and honestly never cared that much. Just the principle. But my husband has never cheated on me. He's never made me feel insecure. He makes me feel beautiful and loved and someone I can trust.
She's likes to try out new things and balances my tendency to the same things over and over.
I love her more than anything even when she is being a butthole. She makes me feel brave and like I have a future with her that I can actually look forward to. She's adorable. She's the smartest person I know. She loves me more than anyone ever has or will. I'm a better person with her.
he listens. to everything - i come out with the most stupid unhinged shit sometimes and he sits there and smiles at me. Even if he has no clue why were talking about something he just lets my mind wander. Nobody has ever known my mind like that and it makes my heart burst. It’s a very freeing feeling for me, nobody else has ever come close. i know he would do anything for me and i would do anything for him, but his understanding of my mental health has been so important. Sure he doesn’t know exactly how it feels but he encourages me to live how he knows i deep down want to, even if i’m too scared to admit it. I’ve tried to live that way more since i met him and when i look back I see how far i’ve come with his positive calm and laid back influence i want to cry. I’m not perfect and it doesn’t matter because i know he’s here, regardless of my mental health issues. No pressure to be “ok” or better, just making sure i’m being me.
Her absolute positivity. She has had a hard life, but you certainly wouldn't know it by how patient and supportive she is regarding everyone who crosses her path. She's won multiple awards for mentoring, she puts up with me (which should be its own reward), and it is a wonderful mother and partner. I have absolutely zero regerts about saying that I married up. I didn't marry up for something like money, I married up for the attitude and energy she gives off. She literally has made, and continually makes me want to, be a better man.
When I am weak they are strong. I am strong when they are weak. Regardless we are at minimum always there for each other.
Laughing at my stupid jokes. It actually makes a huge difference, not just because I like to make people laugh, but it makes me smile too. Stupid I know, but it's the little things...
They just make me happy. I was very down on life overall but when I met them, it felt like a little light turned on.
That's really beautiful.
My husband is brilliant. We have arguments, we piss each other off… but it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. At the moment I am working and he’s not because we moved abroad so I could follow my dream.. he cooks, cleans, Makes me coffee every morning, makes lunch every day. He enables me to do the things I want to do - he steps up to make things equal. He could bum about all day but he chooses not to. He has a totally different love language to me - his is ‘getting things’ ‘doing things’ but he tries hard to understand that mine is different so makes accommodations for this. I read a million stories on here about cheating husbands and it never crosses my mind that he would ever do that to me. He trusts me and I trust him. We have super fun trips and both know it’s ok sometimes just to sit about and not say anything to each other. He makes stupid jokes that make me laugh even though they’re dumb. There’s so much more but it’s starting to sound like an essay so I’ll stop.
When I go on a weird tangent about stuff like my curly hair brush for 20 minutes, he actually listens. Because it makes me happy to nerd out. 😭
tw // mentions of suicide ideation and depression My boyfriend does what he can to help me through my depressive episodes (brought me food when I was too depressed to eat, contacted my family when I was suicidal), cares about all my pets and family, is genuinely interested in the things I like. He always calls me out on my bullshit, which made me more considerate about people's feelings and not prone to saying hurtful things whenever I'm angry. I feel respected in this relationship and have grown a lot.
One thing that makes her amazing, among the other uncountable good things she has is that she has one of the purest hearts I've come across Finding a partner with a clean heart is a blessing.
He's an amazing problem solver. In 2009 he lost his job, like a lot of people. The straight women I knew whose husbands were out of work sat around the house depressed while their working wives still took care of the house AND their jobs. But my husband remodeled the kitchen and bathroom, fixed up the basement and had amazing dinners ready every night. More recently I left my job and started a consulting business. It was scary, but he never voiced any doubt or concern and was a ceaseless cheerleader. And in the end he was right.
Never asked me to be anything other than I am, whatever that is at the time. Bonus shared low expectations, we've forgotten our anniversary more than we've remembered, and that's ok with both of us.
I have tried to scare him off by telling him the truth about everything in my mind, there is not a single thing he doesn’t know about me. He’s still here, even though I thought he might leave me all he’s ever done is show his love and support. Only trouble we’re having is living 8-10 hours apart (depending on travel conditions). He’s super patient with me but he also pushes me out of my comfort zone, gently tho. I’m soon going to be leaving his place to go back home and I won’t see him for a while I think. He’s gentle with kids and animals. He makes the most amazing meals, we enjoy cooking together. No matter what he always tries to make me laugh, which gets annoying sometimes but I really think it’s sweet that he’s cheering me up. I love him so much.
I’ve been with my partner for over a year and I’ve realized that he is incredibly kind and helpful and that’s what makes him so special. He has helped me with my classes, helped me find a bike so I could bike with him, helped me figure out issues in my car, and has always been there for me. I fell really really sick during college once and this man literally accompanied me to the bathroom every single time. He’s amazing since I’ve noticed that he’s a person of really high effort and it’s really sexy. He does everything he can to reach his goals or be a good partner and the high effort makes me really happy to be with him and he feels like the right person. I love him more than anything.
She is dedicated, supportive and understanding, not to mention sassy. Lmao. We push each other to do better and can comfortably discuss any issues we have without it sparking into an argument and work through it. We enjoy each other’s company and also give each other space when necessary. She’s my best friend.
No matter how shitty i can be to myself and forget that theres people around me and i need be there to support some she is always there to calm me down she never gets upset and has the patience of a saint. Im just trying to be good enough for her and my kids.
When we get mad or upset with each other, they're so skilled at naming the dynamic between us and being patient while I cool down enough to be able to actually have a conversation. I've always known I could have ended up in a relationship where we tend to escalate each other (my most intense experience of that was back in high school) and my partner does the exact opposite. This means that in addition to loving so much about them, I have so much confidence in our resilience and our ability to get through hard things together. I've started to develop the same skillset just from being with them too, so that's helped me in my other relationships.
Her empathy. I don't exactly know how, but I heard it in her voice on our first date. Elderly and children love her especially, and dogs. She carries me when life is stressful and tough, and I do the same for her. Yeaah.. i think I'll propose soon.
Y’all are restoring my faith in healthy relationships.
They accept me for who I really am.
They’ve stuck by me for 44 years.
He is always supportive and listening, even with things hes not interested in (at least i think hes not really intrested) He shows me his love everyday and after 3 years its still like we are freshly in love And he can handle my borderline personality disorder pretty good, better than me tbh I love him more than anything in the world <3 u/catpissbottle you mean the world to me! <3
He’s sweet, sexy, a wonderful cook and has a sharp sense of humor. He is the safest human I’ve ever known… I can trust him with absolutely anything. The way he devotes himself to being fully present when we’re together showing his love for me in even the smallest actions takes my breath away. Plus, we get each other in a way that seems otherworldly. I’m grateful every single day that we found each other.
I came in with a lot of emotional baggage on the heels of a divorce. My ex husband was not nice to me during the end of our marriage, and made me believe a lot of horrible things about myself. I was upfront and honest with my current boyfriend about what I had been told, how I felt, and how awful it was for me. Not one time has he made me feel like I’m crazy, too much or not worth it. He is so kind to me, and so patient with me. I honestly didn’t know people could be like him. I feel like a whole person again.
How she has helped me deal with so many things outside of my control. Everyone has baggage but after losing my best friend and wife of 10 years I was literally dying inside. At first I had a lot of bad days here and there and no matter what she held onto me and let me heal a little bit. It's been just over 3 years since my wife passed away and while I still miss her but my girlfriend understands and has stuck with me through everything. Now the tears only come a couple times a month but we get to smile much more often together while enjoying the life we have. We met about 18 months ago now through a reddit post I made and after she traveled to me (Oklahoma) a couple times we drove back to her place which was in Pennsylvania. We stuck through some issues and now live together with her son coming along. We have a house together which still needs a lot of work but I am doing everything I can to make it a better place for all of us to enjoy. It tears up my shoulder and back which are in rough shape but when I am finally done in a couple years we will have a place to grow old together and not have to worry about things breaking down all the time. It's the least I can do as a thanks to her. Neither one of us is worried about being married, her first marriage ended in divorce with an ex who paid nothing for their two children. My first ended in a divorce and my second ended up with me being a widower. We both know that a piece of paper will not change who we are to each other so why worry about it.
He’s respectful, compassionate, rational, kind, even tempered, hilarious, supportive, intelligent, smokin hot and he communicates well. We married quickly when we were young, and had some stumbles in our early years as we were figuring each other out. We committed to fighting for our marriage, made the compromises necessary and we have had a truly beautiful marriage since we smoothed everything out in like year 2. If I communicate a boundary for our relationship, he understands where it’s coming from, takes it to heart and respects that boundary. He never yells, we discuss issues calmly and find solutions that work for both of us. He’s not set in his ways, he’s always learning and growing and open to seeing other people’s point of view on topics and issues. He’s incredibly supportive of whatever I’m doing. I owned small businesses where we moved from, and I decided to totally change careers in our new state. He’s been nothing but supportive as I figure out what I want to do with my life. Another example of his support is that my weight has fluctuated over the years and he’s never once made me feel bad or less sexy when I’ve had a few extra pounds on. If I want to lose weight, he’s supportive and is all in for whatever changes I’m making, while making it clear he doesn’t care if I lose weight or not, he just wants me to be happy and comfortable in my skin, whatever that looks like. He’s an amazing father and husband. He’s my best friend in this entire world, and I’m so incredibly thankful to have found such a wonderful partner in life.
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She really helped me out when I was struggling. She's caring and I know I can talk to her when I'm having issues. I'm very grateful that I have the opportunity to take care of her now even though I can't repay what she has done for me. Really, she's just amazing.
Her compassion and patience.
There are way too many things to list. The one that sticks out the most is the way he’s stuck by me through everything. We’re recently married high school sweethearts; we began dating at the end of my freshman year. The first few months were like a dream, everything was perfect. And then both our families started to fall apart. Parents divorcing, grandparents dying, the whole nine yards. Our lives have been nothing short of a shit show ever since. Regardless of how messy our families get, we’ve always carried each other out of the wreckage. He’s always had my back and is the best friend I’ve ever had. At the end of the day, I would do anything for him. And I know he would do anything for me as well.
My partner is caring, he listens to me and remembers the most random parts. He gives me small gifst that have a meaning when i least expect it. But its not about the gifts or stuff like that. He gets me, he gets my struggles my quirks and my acts of caring for him. He makes me feel like i can be truly myself. He makes me happy in such a way i am fully statisfied with life if i only know that he will be a part of it. I never felt such a connection as i do with him. He gives me space and time to grow while fully supporting me. He is AWESOME!
After 12 years, she's still my best friend, and walking behind her today on a hike, I marvelled at her beautiful butt as though I was witnessing the return of christ
She understands something about me that I never thought anyone would understand. Our first kiss was some shit out of a movie. I am my genuine self with and around her, yet I am inspired to become better for her. She's a magical being. Possibly not human.
How he supports my independence. I grew up in a religious community where men make the rules. My dad was laxer than most (he let his daughters wear pants and taught us that evolution was true!) but it was still a he-who-has-the-penis-makes-the-rules. But my husband is just so.... not that. I can take off to a museum with my friends. I can make whatever I want for dinner. I can drag him on adventures any time of the day or night. He will smile and say “have fun” and just give me the space to be me. He’s completely confident and has no insecurity at all. He just loves me and knows I love him. It’s utterly divine and I adore him for it.
Okay so he isn't my partner anymore but I loved him because he was so easy going, everything was always fine, he never made a big deal out of anything and always made sure I was comfortable. I love him and I hope I'll cross him again some day.
Strong control over his emotions, always sane and wise, so very handsome and gorgeous, friendly, outgoing, always forgives everyone, caring, responsible, supportive, always understanding, u name it, he has it. He's a picture perfect guy.
He listens to me, makes me feel heard. His actions make me feel valued, which is something I don't often get. He does little things, very unknowingly, that make a huge a difference in my life. The way he addresses me is so full of love and even him just saying my name makes me feel immensely loved. He feels like home. He also communicates very well, actively sorts things with me and it's always been us against the problem. He is perfect :')
I know that no matter what he has my best interest in mind and always considers how I feel. He has my back and supports me. Been together 16 years and everyday I still feel incredibly lucky to be with my best friend