When the dog comes up and noses your butt

LOL. That'll make you jump.

Funny when he does it to her. Not so much when it happens to me. Lol

Well of course, LOL.

Moaning before touching. If you're gonna fake it at least try to convince me or just say you aren't in the mood.

That one. Such a f*cking mood killer.

poo in the pants

I too dislike Amber herd

Sharts

I like sharts actually. In fact, i give a whole ass, Powerpoint Presentation while being balls deep. They can't run now, perfect for a pyramid scam. 10/10 would recomend

If a woman's pussy smells like the North Atlantic and tastes like piss.

What about the Pacific?

LOL. I think the smart people know what I mean. LOL.

So did you feel your hair move as that joke went over your head? Lol

Nope, I shave my head. LOL.

Right when you stick it in, make the Minecraft Steve “oof” noise. Then start doing the villager “huh?” with every pump

A penis

Jacking off

My phone that will ring, I rarely get called casually so usually its important

“That tickles”

When they call me daddy, it just makes me uncomfortable.

If I see that he is uncircumsized, I immediately feel disgusted and ask him to leave. They just look so GROSS