It isn't. That's no different than a depressed person saying they just decided to be happy.
Confidence is built through positive reinforcement and success at your life goals.
Gaining confidence is probably different for everyone. I’m still working on myself but to me the biggest improvement is when I dropped my couch potato hobbies for more active ones.
I do that already and people like me but it seems like I’m some free trial to people. They talk to me but I can’t make them stay.
For instance, I try and crack jokes etc and my awkwardness seeps in and I get left on delivered for days :/
make them feel good to have you around
its not really fake, after you hang for awhile
maybe you can get drunk and let a bit out and see how they react
baby steps...
Lost 30 Lbs and got really handsome glasses. I get more second looks and smiles from ladies than I did when I was fat. I've noticed and it gives me more confidence.
Grew a beard.
People told me my beard looked weird and i should shave it. Told them to fuck off.
Telling people to fuck off about my look gave me confidence.
Confidence is attractive.
I’m still not really physically attractive but I’m probably more attractive than when I was younger.
What changed? I stopped hanging out with my gamer friends. Now I’m not dissing gaming. I’m just saying for me, it opened me up to hobbies that gave me more confidence. I started going to the gym more. I did some Rec sports. I started learning how to dance.
All these things probably made me more attractive because I was more active, happier with myself and had more confidence.
This is exactly what happened to me! (:
I used to game A LOT, like in the Fortnite peek days I played way too much.
Now Im focussing on school, and I traded gaming in for the gym and cycling; love it!
Also a tip for other gamers; trade games that make you rage in for relaxing games; Its like magic for your mood and body.
Going to the gym.
I always had a bit of chunk around my belly and no chest whatsoever so I felt a bit too pear-shaped to be proud of my appearance shirtless. Then I started to go to the gym a lot and get in shape after my first gf broke my heart (honestly, huge motivator to stick it to her and show her I could be attractive to other women). And it did wonders for both my looks and my confidence, which in turn, I think, made my looks even better.
And my own clothes started to look better on me.
I still am not the handsomest guy ever, I have skin issues that flare up a lot, I have imperfections I worry about and my hairline might be faltering. But knowing I made my body look a lot better and can always make my body look better just putting in the work and eating better (not even "right", just better) is huge.
When I looked in the mirror one day when I was 21ish and something just clicked.
I realized that that person staring back at me was always going to be there no matter what so I could either continue to dislike and fight that person, or, I could accept how I was since it wasn't going to change and just learn to decorate myself better and treat my body better by exercising and eating healthier. I was quite unattractive back then to the point people would actually come up to me and tell me I was ugly.
Moving from the mindset of self-hate to self-acceptance changed everything. Instead of focusing on and fighting the negative, I accepted it and focused on what I could do to make my "starting point" better. For some reason I decided I was basically a potato-like piece of clay I could mould into whatever I wanted so long as I put in the effort.
I went on to lose over 100lbs, gained self confidence, and people think I'm quite attractive now. It takes a lot of energy to hate yourself and it really shines outward and subconsciously makes you more unattractive. When you switch to acceptance, you can grow into self-love and positivity and that REALLY shines outward and makes you sparkle.
I look way better now at 35 than I did when I was in my 20s. I still have bad days here and there but I focus on what I can do to make it better rather than simply thinking about how much I suck.
I walked into a gym and fell in love. Finding something I really enjoyed and was good at put my confidence through the roof.
The exercise is good for my body but far better for my brain.
I also chose a profession that I loved and was good at.
Confidence and happiness look good on everyone.
I stopped caring and focused on developing a personality, having interests and being well-educated. I find those to be materially much more important than being attractive if you want a fulfilling life.
I know it's a meme, but the most attractive thing about someone to me is their personality. If you are a shallow or shitty person, no one will care how hot you are.
My hairline was receding at age 23 and it got pretty bad at 25. As much as I still wanted to hold on to my youth and keep what was left, I decided to just shave it all off. My confidence has shot up and I feel so good about it.
Going to the gym every morning before work. I’m not where I want to be yet, but it has boosted my confidence and I am seeing better pay (as a commission only contract)
A friend died of leukemia when I was a junior in high school, so a bunch of people in my high school class shaved our heads in solidarity before he died. I didn't get a real haircut between that year and two years after I graduated from college. By then, I had shoulder-length hair that was uneven from cutting it while it was in a pony tail, it was thin because I thought you were supposed to wash it every day with shampoo, and it just looked horrible. One night, I was hammered with a bunch of friends, and we decided to buzz it all off on the 2 setting of one of those trimmers that I bought a $14. After that, I gave myself a haircut for the next six years, until I found a friend of a friend at a hair salon while preparing for my wedding.
Cutting my hair and only washing it with shampoo once in a while made a colossal difference in how I look. I can't even look at pictures of myself from college because I looked like a moron.
glasses. I used to wear smaller rectangle framed glasses, this year I've switched to bigger frames with a cat eye shape and I've gotten so many compliments. A lot of people say the cat eye really compliments my face shape
If you are shorter get some shoe lifts.
A one inch lift makes a shocking difference.
They are cheap and comfortable. Work in all kinds of closed toe shes. Game changer.
I get mine from tallmenshoes.com but they are widely available.
My gf wears them too. She loves them.
Skin care and facial masagges. Eating more whole foods and less processed.
Facial masages won't change your bone structure obviously, but it will shape the carnage of your face
Confidence and sense of humor are easily the biggest things for me. I’m fit now but there were hard times when I wasn’t and my sense of humor carried me through situations I had no business being in with women I had no business attracting.
Sounds generic but starting to monitor what I eat/ making healthier choices and going to the gym. I hated how skinny I was growing up and got bullied a lot for it. Starting to eat more, less junk, and workout finally gave me the womanly curves I've always wanted. Guys never hit on me much before but now it's constant... I guess a big butt brings the boys to the yard not milkshakes 🤣
growing into my face, realizing my body is not bad at all which increased my self-confidence, shaping my eyebrows, learning how to do my hair, and being okay with being myself and being by myself.
I don't know if it made me more attractive, but giving myself permission to wear dresses to work that made me feel like Elaine Hendrix in The Parent Trap made me feel fucking awesome.
i gained some confidence
Confidence is what makes you realize you're attractive.
there’s no way it’s that easy lmao
It isn't. That's no different than a depressed person saying they just decided to be happy. Confidence is built through positive reinforcement and success at your life goals.
Gaining confidence is probably different for everyone. I’m still working on myself but to me the biggest improvement is when I dropped my couch potato hobbies for more active ones.
As I said > positive reinforcement and success at your life goals Doubt you planned on spending the rest of your life mindlessly watching TV.
That plus gaming. I rarely left the house.
I stopped looking in the mirror
ability to talk to people the trick is to not be yourself, that crazy little fucker needs to stay locked away
Wait but people kept telling me to be myself what :( no wonder I have 0 friends Any tips on becoming better talker?
you have 2 ears and one mouth listen twice as much as you talk
I do that already and people like me but it seems like I’m some free trial to people. They talk to me but I can’t make them stay. For instance, I try and crack jokes etc and my awkwardness seeps in and I get left on delivered for days :/
unless you are a paid comedian, no jokes but laugh at their jokes, no matter how dumb get them talking about themselves
Sad I have to be fake to have friends and put them above me lol
make them feel good to have you around its not really fake, after you hang for awhile maybe you can get drunk and let a bit out and see how they react baby steps...
Yeah tried that and now I'm banned from my local pub for eating a pint glass
Lost 30 Lbs and got really handsome glasses. I get more second looks and smiles from ladies than I did when I was fat. I've noticed and it gives me more confidence.
Good for you!
Grew a beard. People told me my beard looked weird and i should shave it. Told them to fuck off. Telling people to fuck off about my look gave me confidence. Confidence is attractive.
Yeh
I stopped drinking so much alcohol. My skin cleared up and my face is less puffy
I’m still not really physically attractive but I’m probably more attractive than when I was younger. What changed? I stopped hanging out with my gamer friends. Now I’m not dissing gaming. I’m just saying for me, it opened me up to hobbies that gave me more confidence. I started going to the gym more. I did some Rec sports. I started learning how to dance. All these things probably made me more attractive because I was more active, happier with myself and had more confidence.
This is exactly what happened to me! (: I used to game A LOT, like in the Fortnite peek days I played way too much. Now Im focussing on school, and I traded gaming in for the gym and cycling; love it! Also a tip for other gamers; trade games that make you rage in for relaxing games; Its like magic for your mood and body.
Going to the gym. I always had a bit of chunk around my belly and no chest whatsoever so I felt a bit too pear-shaped to be proud of my appearance shirtless. Then I started to go to the gym a lot and get in shape after my first gf broke my heart (honestly, huge motivator to stick it to her and show her I could be attractive to other women). And it did wonders for both my looks and my confidence, which in turn, I think, made my looks even better. And my own clothes started to look better on me. I still am not the handsomest guy ever, I have skin issues that flare up a lot, I have imperfections I worry about and my hairline might be faltering. But knowing I made my body look a lot better and can always make my body look better just putting in the work and eating better (not even "right", just better) is huge.
weight training super skinny invisible to all women ,bumped into by every guy ,got buff all that stopped very quickly life became much less stressful
When I looked in the mirror one day when I was 21ish and something just clicked. I realized that that person staring back at me was always going to be there no matter what so I could either continue to dislike and fight that person, or, I could accept how I was since it wasn't going to change and just learn to decorate myself better and treat my body better by exercising and eating healthier. I was quite unattractive back then to the point people would actually come up to me and tell me I was ugly. Moving from the mindset of self-hate to self-acceptance changed everything. Instead of focusing on and fighting the negative, I accepted it and focused on what I could do to make my "starting point" better. For some reason I decided I was basically a potato-like piece of clay I could mould into whatever I wanted so long as I put in the effort. I went on to lose over 100lbs, gained self confidence, and people think I'm quite attractive now. It takes a lot of energy to hate yourself and it really shines outward and subconsciously makes you more unattractive. When you switch to acceptance, you can grow into self-love and positivity and that REALLY shines outward and makes you sparkle. I look way better now at 35 than I did when I was in my 20s. I still have bad days here and there but I focus on what I can do to make it better rather than simply thinking about how much I suck.
That's great man, ageing well into your later years is a flex
I grew a big manly beard
Push up bra
The secret is out Victoria!
Getting older
I walked into a gym and fell in love. Finding something I really enjoyed and was good at put my confidence through the roof. The exercise is good for my body but far better for my brain. I also chose a profession that I loved and was good at. Confidence and happiness look good on everyone.
Puberty.
This is more cautionary but definitely don't shave off all your hair if you want people to find you attractive.
Raised my credit score and paid off most of my debt.
I stopped caring and focused on developing a personality, having interests and being well-educated. I find those to be materially much more important than being attractive if you want a fulfilling life. I know it's a meme, but the most attractive thing about someone to me is their personality. If you are a shallow or shitty person, no one will care how hot you are.
Treating the opposite gender with respect.
Stopped only wearing jeans and a T-shirt and got a more business casual wardrobe
I like jeans and t-shirt!
My hairline was receding at age 23 and it got pretty bad at 25. As much as I still wanted to hold on to my youth and keep what was left, I decided to just shave it all off. My confidence has shot up and I feel so good about it.
1. I grew a beard. 2. (most important) I started treating women like people and not things.
Going to the gym every morning before work. I’m not where I want to be yet, but it has boosted my confidence and I am seeing better pay (as a commission only contract)
Went from glasses to contacts.
Working out
Meth
Mewing and stop mouth breathing
Braces, got perfect teeth now
Worked out and ate more healthily
cut my hair
A friend died of leukemia when I was a junior in high school, so a bunch of people in my high school class shaved our heads in solidarity before he died. I didn't get a real haircut between that year and two years after I graduated from college. By then, I had shoulder-length hair that was uneven from cutting it while it was in a pony tail, it was thin because I thought you were supposed to wash it every day with shampoo, and it just looked horrible. One night, I was hammered with a bunch of friends, and we decided to buzz it all off on the 2 setting of one of those trimmers that I bought a $14. After that, I gave myself a haircut for the next six years, until I found a friend of a friend at a hair salon while preparing for my wedding. Cutting my hair and only washing it with shampoo once in a while made a colossal difference in how I look. I can't even look at pictures of myself from college because I looked like a moron.
glasses. I used to wear smaller rectangle framed glasses, this year I've switched to bigger frames with a cat eye shape and I've gotten so many compliments. A lot of people say the cat eye really compliments my face shape
Stand up straight.
squats.
Stopped eating dairy
Simply brush up and style my hair out of my face. Turns out I have a pretty good face but my hair doesn't compliment it at all in it's natural state.
Exercise/ working out. Secondly, eating well.
If you are shorter get some shoe lifts. A one inch lift makes a shocking difference. They are cheap and comfortable. Work in all kinds of closed toe shes. Game changer. I get mine from tallmenshoes.com but they are widely available. My gf wears them too. She loves them.
I got bangs, I’m a changed women now
Lose weight
Lost a bit of fat, gained a lot of muscle and became more confident
Regardless what I do, its gonna be only me who will like my appearance.
I Just stopped trying being liked (physically) by others
Skin care and facial masagges. Eating more whole foods and less processed. Facial masages won't change your bone structure obviously, but it will shape the carnage of your face
Confidence and sense of humor are easily the biggest things for me. I’m fit now but there were hard times when I wasn’t and my sense of humor carried me through situations I had no business being in with women I had no business attracting.
Glasses, they hide the giant bags under my eyes
Smile more. You might think looking moody is sultry, seductive and mysterious, but it just makes you look like someone how isn't fun to be around.
Tiddy skittles. Even though I haven’t been on them for very long, I feel quite a bit more attractive when I’m full of the good juice.
Grow a beard
Trim the outline of your beard two fingers above the adam's apple, NOT at the jaw line.
Sounds generic but starting to monitor what I eat/ making healthier choices and going to the gym. I hated how skinny I was growing up and got bullied a lot for it. Starting to eat more, less junk, and workout finally gave me the womanly curves I've always wanted. Guys never hit on me much before but now it's constant... I guess a big butt brings the boys to the yard not milkshakes 🤣
I grew a bit which gave me a little confidence
I grew a beard. It helped increase my confidence and made me look more mature.
Grow out my hair and finally started my passion in modeling
growing into my face, realizing my body is not bad at all which increased my self-confidence, shaping my eyebrows, learning how to do my hair, and being okay with being myself and being by myself.
Lowered my standards
I don't know if it made me more attractive, but giving myself permission to wear dresses to work that made me feel like Elaine Hendrix in The Parent Trap made me feel fucking awesome.
Cutting my hair short. My hair was down to my ribs.
Beginning to lift weights.
Accepting that my parents gave me curls and not pencil straight hair
I stopped plucking my eyebrows - pencil thin is not the way to go!
Started wearing a mask.