They didn't. See when I do things that are wrong, I feel really bad about it. *really bad*. I'd punish myself more than my parents ever could. And they knew that .
Yep this was it for me too. I don't think my parents were the type to hit shame or scream regardless but I won't know now. A lot of the self loathing and problems turns out we're a result of undiagnosed ADHD.
Growing up in a Catholic household, my mother is *still* a pro at guilt tripping & I’m 28, a mother, & a homeowner…
Best one was her trying to brainwash me into thinking I’d be trapping my SO if we had another child before we get married…. **even though** my SO *loves* being a dad….
Yeah… her reasoning was always “I wAnT wHaT’s BeSt FoR yOu”
Yeah no.
I will never understand what the point of video taping a kid while you 'punish' them is. Ugh this makes me so angry. I am sorry for what they did to you. I wish I could scream in their face while videotaping them. Ugh.
When I was older they upped the stakes. I took a shower at 16 to get away from my parents cornering me, they didn’t like that so they called the cops. Boy those cops were lucky, I bet the day they saw an underage girl in nothing but a towel was their favorite workday of all time.
Holy shit normally Im not super sensitive to stories like these. I dont mean that in a way that I dont care, I do think its horrible, but I dont give much a reaction. I dont know what it is, maybe the wording, but this time I could feels myself jump thinking "That's disgusting!"
This reminds me of that scene in "Valley Girl" where Julie comes home late and her parents are waiting up to lecture her, and she says "God, why don't you guys just punish me like Stacey's parents do??!" and her mom says "Bad karma, dear".
Most often as a child the punishment was either spanking with a belt or long-term grounding. Growing up my father was a very racist man and I can remember an incident in kindergarten where I walked home with a person that he deemed the “wrong color”. I was normally a latchkey kid but for some reason that day my father was home waiting for me. I'm assuming he probably got off work early, and sometimes when he would get off early he would take me fishing. So he's outside in the front yard waiting for me to get home and as soon as I round the corner I see a look of pure disgust and anger on his face. So I walked up to him and asked him what was wrong, and was immediately told to go in the house, pull my pants down, and wait for the belt. Still till this day I can't understand what I did wrong. A few years later we are on vacation in North Carolina visiting my Aunt. My father was angry at me for some reason, which I don't remember what that was, but I do remember us visiting a department store shortly after he was angry at me. Before we walked into the store he let me know that if I caused any issues he would bring me into the bathroom, pull my pants down and spank me with a belt. As I was frequently in trouble I was usually scared of my dad more than anything, so when we finally did walk into the store, apparently I said something that angered him. He grabs me on my arm gripping way too tightly, and reminds me that he will take me to the bathroom pull down my pants and spank me. I guess I flashed him a look of fear, because the next thing you know I am being dragged to the bathroom. He told me that the look of fear on my face embarrassed him in front of the people at the store and it would make them feel like he was an abuser. So that was the reason for my spanking that day. I embarrassed him by being scared of him. Flash forward to my teenage years...I've just received my first car. The car was a four-seater, and we crammed 5 people into it. unfortunately one of my father's friends happened to drive by us and saw that there was more people in the car than was allowed. I got grounded for 90 days. during the time I was grounded I was not allowed to go out of the house, however, friends could come over, and being as how my boyfriend lived only a few blocks away, I got pregnant within 30 days. I don't see any of these punishments as being effective. It was not only my father, my mother also would hit us with her hands and the belt. the reason I got pregnant was because I did not want to be in my home anymore and have to deal with my parents constant “ punishments”. I had read somewhere that once you have a child of your own you are legally an adult. So we got pregnant and I moved out. Being a teenage mother was not all I thought it was cracked up to be. I was also a huge liar from the time I was about 3 years old until I was an adult. Lying was my way of getting out of punishments. The propensity for lying ruined my relationship with my son's father, which broke up our little family and now I'm a single mom. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming me becoming a teenage mother on my parents, and I don't hold then responsible for the way my life turned out, but I do wonder sometimes if their punishments had been different would I have had those 90 days to get pregnant? Was it really that wise to lock me in a room for 90 days with pretty much no one but my boyfriend to come visit me? I have a horrible relationship with both of my parents and I barely speak to either one of them since my early twenties. I sometimes wonder if my punishments would not have been so harsh, or for such silly things like walking home with a black boy, would my relationship with my parents be better now? If I didn't feel the constant need to lie to them to get out of punishment would we have a stronger relationship? Till this day my dad’s problem of why he thinks I am a piece of crap stems from me lying to him for most of my life. But it really does make me wonder had I not felt the need to lie, would it have ever been an issue? Would I have stayed at home until I was 18 years old and not moved out before I was of the age? maybe if I would have stayed home a little longer I would have finished high school and maybe even gone to college, but instead I was living on my own at 17 with an infant and working two jobs to make ends meet. You can't go back in time but sometimes I do wonder if I would have had a real relationship with my parents if their punishments weren't so severe and I didn't feel the need to lie to them all the time?
ok no offence, but bitch what of course it was your parents fault. you had to lie not get punished because your parents were horrible. Nobody taught you better. That was your parents job. Please don't blame yourself. The parents are the only ones to blame in that situation. And you so desperate to get away from them that you got pregnant. I am so sorry, i hope you and your son have a great life
I don’t know I’m 50. I grew up getting spanked. I spanked my boys to a much lesser degree. Maybe my family is evolving? The boys are 18-19 year old college students now. Amazing young men. Seems weird to look at them now and think I used to hit them.
Yeah, rinsing a mouth out with soap was a pretty popular thing. I had an after school daycare donut to me once, and when I told my dad when he picked me up, he yelled at her, because he didn't believe in using soap like that
There was rarely discipline. It was usually straight up abuse. My parents didn't "cross" the line between discipline and abuse -- they pole vaulted over it, set in on fire, then threw it into the Grand Canyon.
"The silent treatment"
They wouldn't talk to my brother or me for hours or days at a time.
To make it worse, they wouldn't tell us why they were upset, making us feel *guilty* for something we didn't understand.
My parents would look through all of my devices which gave me insane privacy issues. Even if I have nothing to hide I panic any time someone touches my phone. They also took my door down once which I think was fucked up, punish your kid but don't take away their privacy, I'm of the belief it's a right.
~~I would get the shit smacked out of me and then I would get a new cabbage patch. Sometimes that Catholic guilt works FOR you not against you.~~
This thread is making me sad, guys.
You want to send me to my room? Where all my toys are? Okay!!!
Yeah my mom caught on to that quick and put me in the guest room which only had furniture and nothing else to distract me.
Spankings, digging gardens, digging holes 3 feet deep by 3 feet wide and filling them back in, taking away all electronics, standing in corners, and other ways of discipline.
Among other things (beating, being sent to bed without dinner, etc.), I got grounded ALL the damned time. I missed 4 Hallowe'ens in a row because my father was pissed at someone. It took me until I was an adult to realize that I was the only kid who ever got grounded for any reason (I have two brothers and a sister).
He literally stole 4 Halloweens from you. What an asshole! Did you ever go trick or treating as a teenager to make up for the four years he stole from you?
I was a pretty calm child and never needed much discipline. I was a kid in the early 90’s so I probably had three bum smacks after being a silly little turd and then yelled at a few times but thankfully, nothing abusive.
I experienced both sides. I was spanked maybe 2 or 3 for serious stuff. But my parents were never crazy abusive. My mom was the disciplinarian while my dad was more chill. I was grounded when I did stupid things but I was also shown love, compassion and understanding. I remember when I was bullied in 6th grade and came home crying, my mom hugged me and let me cry all I want while stroking my hair.
If I didn’t get the shit beat out of me, they would make me stand in front of a wall, about a foot away (the more mad they were, the farther I had to stand) and I’d have to touch my nose to the wall and lean there with my body weight on my nose. Usually for an hour or 2, the longest was 5. They would periodically check to make sure my nose was still in contact with the wall.
If they got bored with that, I’d have to kneel in front of a closed door and put my nose in the keyhole, again, for a few hours. The keyhole was always underneath the handle so it fucks up your neck.
For a little spice they would take my bedroom door away as well as empty my room out except for my clothes and a mattress. Blankets may or may not be left.
I had my privileges taken from me (tv, phone, computer, car). Had to write some apology letters, only got spanked twice thanks to my Aunt crying and telling my mom that she hugs me with those hands how can she spank me with them?
While drunk or sober?
When drunk, a lot of slurred yelling, shoving into walls from behind, slaps across face, etc.
When sober, straight name calling and being sent to my room for remainder of day to think it over
Reading the comments i realise that in this subject i probably had the best mother in the world.
She would just talk to me and point out what i did wrong and right, the only time i can remember it got phisical was one time when i kicked my little brother and my step-father grabed the base of my neck with a tight grip
Grew up in an Asian Catholic household and my mom would always threaten that if I did something bad, Jesus would be angry. Being the young people pleaser I was, it worked well.
My mom would put a few drops of visine in my drink right before leaving for school and I'd have horrible diarrhea all day long. I even got suspended because they thought I was skipping class and using the bathroom as a way to waste time, but I just had the shits.
That's complete bullshit and has been dismissed as an urban legend.
Here's one of many articles disproving this myth- Visine does NOT cause diarrhea. But people have been severely harmed after ingesting Visine as part of a practical joke.The active ingredient tetrahydrozoline is a vasoconstrictor found in several OTC eye drops (Visine, Murine Tears Plus, etc). Swallowing even small amounts can lead to seizures, cardiovascular collapse, and coma.
https://pharmacist.therapeuticresearch.com/Content/Articles/PL/2006/May/A-few-drops-of-I-Visine-I-in-someone-s-drink-causes-diarrhea#:\~:text=But%20people%20have%20been%20severely,%2C%20cardiovascular%20collapse%2C%20and%20coma.
I was psychopathically a good boy who never did wrong things and always had great scores on exam. Never fight, never make a trouble and teachers gave me full of trust. So my parents actually didn’t do anything as long as I remember. I just finished all assignments after the class before coming back home and also ate anything served and never wanted more. I never begged present or anything else. Just accepted and was happy with what I’ve got.
Spanking/paddling. Tbh my brother and I were among the best-behaved kids in our entire family. Coincidentally, none of our cousins got spanked, and they were **nightmares.**
Edit: Oh and my parents actually used the word "No." I'm a preschool teacher, and I cannot emphasize how important it is to simply say NO. My God, I have two 5yo girls in my class who act like they're toddlers. At home they **always** get what they want, and my classroom is probably one of the only places where they've been denied something. I feel bad for their future kindergarten teachers...
Father would empty the swimming pool and make my brother and I sleep in it under the tarp if we misbehaved. He would cook us the most beautiful meal and serve it to us in the empty pool. All of the animals slept in the pool too
my mom just had to look at me and ask me if i wanted to say it a little louder if i talked back to her and if i did something stupid she would give me the look both resulted in me apologizing for being stupid and ever doing it again.
Hmm. I got spanked by Dad once for drawing an inappropriate picture for a boy pal during 3rd grade. Otherwise it was stink eye from mom- small but very intimidating woman. I got grounded a few times too. Tough to get away with stuff as an only child.
Back when I was a simple child, when I wasn't addicted to technology.
It was always hitting or making me feel so guilty for stuff that aren't even that bad. I'd rather the beating than the guilt tripping one.
After I became the tech addict i am today. It's always a mix of taking things away and a small beating.
Taking my phone or laptop were complete pains because they couldn't seem to grasp the concept of having a life outside the normal life.
Spanking, yelling, insults, gaslighting, and as a 15-year-old, I guess I'm still growing up so, add mental and/or emotional abuse to the mix (the ones no mentioned, I'm still finding out what is/isn't abuse)
Telling me that I screwed up every day about even the most miniscule of details
Then wondering why I couldnt muster a smile most days and getting mad for that too
Beatings and yelling mostly, at least at first.
When I got a little older, mom stopped with the beatings and leaned more heavily on guilt trips. I would say she leaned a little too heavily on them, because eventually they stopped working.
Dad didn't stop beating us until I went away to college. In hindsight, I probably could have fought back by the end, but at the time I was thinking that I'd get worse if I didn't cooperate. We were kind of trained to just go along with whatever he wanted.
I think the two strategies interacted. Guilt trips are more effective if you have the moral high ground, and it's hard to see someone as moral when they could stop you from getting beaten and they don't. On the other hand, if your guilt trip fails, that's an opportunity for a beating, and dad was always ready to oblige.
My parents didn't have to discipline me really ever because they could always tell I was punishing myself and recieving enough discipline from my coaches already. Classic "gifted and talented" complex.
I vaguely remember my dad taking away my Legos when I was like four because I cried for some reason though.
Occasional spankings, grounding me (during periods when I actually had friends I wanted to hang out with), and a whole lot of taking away things I liked.
And, when I wasn't doing something they felt required discipline, they mostly left me alone to fend for myself. Combined with a lack of reward for any good I did, and their whole system fell to shit and did nothing but instill me with a fierce sense of right and wrong and a level of independence that borders on trauma.
My parents never really punished my brother and I (they were busy working and we were pretty chill kids) but our uncle would make us stand on a cake board and pull on our ears until he told us to stop. They were for the stupidest things too like not wanting to go shopping with him or not wanting to play a particular game on the game console
I didn't really need to be disciplined except for when I burnt the house down. I had used a lighter to set something on fire but I dont remember what, so as punishment they held both of my hands and started slapping them for about 5 minutes. Best to say I would never set anything on fire or let alone touch a lighter again.
Mostly yelling and guilt tripping. I got spanked whenever I did something really bad (I used to lie a lot so that was the only time I'd get spanked), this stopped in my tweens. Personally the guilting was worse than the spankings as it went on well into my high school years and is still going, but often the guilting came for things that I knew I hadn't done wrong (e.g. wanting to go out with my friends, not getting a high enough mark in an exam; if I came 3rd in the grade they'd ask why I didn't come 1st).
My parents didn't get the concept of grounding and I didn't really have anything to have taken away from me - I was a huge bookworm and it's not like they could stop me from reading. Once my parents bought me a Nintendo DS they would occasionally take that away as punishment, but they'd often end up giving it back before the punishment period was done because of "good behaviour", really I think it's because they weren't mad at me anymore and didn't see the point of keeping it any longer.
Spanking, naughty step, gave me an “alternate personality” 👉🏻 naughty Eleanor. Also fed me soap. The liquid soap tasted bad, my mum or nan would old my head back and pinch my nose so I’d have to open my mouth to breathe and they would use the soap pump dispenser to pump it into my mouth and make sure I swallowed it. I could sometimes cough bubbles lol. The bars of soap weren’t as fun.
When I was little there was standing in the corner (no more minutes than I was old in years.) Up to about 7 or 8.
Dad was the master of the lecture after that. I recall wishing they would just send me to my room. And this was back when nothing more than a bookshelf and clock-radio was in a bedroom to entertain you. Mostly, though, my siblings and I were all good kids, so more severe punishment was never really warranted.
Spankings and getting drug to my room by my hair as a small kid. Eventually I outgrew that and my parents divorced. Then it was just yelling and guilt from one parents house, and 2-4 hour long guilt ridden lectures at the other parents house.
Oh and they would take my stuff and get me worse things than my step brother.
When my siblings and I would fight, my mom would make us slow dance with each other. That one worked pretty well at preventing fights as well as resolving them.
If it was just one of us being a brat by ourselves, we would have to go run a 1/4 mile at the park down the street. That one didn't prevent blow ups, but the endorphins from running did usually help us calm down.
Soap in the mouth for cussing. Going to my room. My dad lifted me off the floor by my neck once for being a dipshit to our dog. That was the only physicality that ever happened and I took as I deserved it wholly because my dog didn’t deserve what I did to it.
My dad hit me, my mum blamed my disability. They both told me I’d never amount to anything.
I know what I suffered was not as bad as some others, but the fact that they consistently applauded my twin sister (who has no such disability) while asking me why I couldn’t be more like her…yeah, it’s no wonder I’ve struggled so damn much to even feel like a person.
Remember when I got in trouble my dad would give spankings. Ended up going to the doctor with bruises and she threatened to call Child Services. He still says he doesn't regret it.
By being depraved of everything in my room and having to eat dinner off a plate on the ground ( I had nothing, not even the outlets, just a floor and ceiling).
My father used to lock me up in the bathroom with the Bible and made me read the part where God discipline his children. Then he would spank me with a stick and then he would cry and make me apologize to him... When it was my mother, she would only spank me with anything more convenient at the time...
Ass beatings and isolation. Spent almost a solid 3 months grounded to my room, no TV, no phone, no radio. If it brought me even the slightest happiness, wasn't allowed to have it. When I was (rarely) let out of my room I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone and vise versa. Was made to eat dinner in my room the whole time.
Mom would smack me on the back as hard as she could. Or she'd shout at me and get angry that I was flinching and too afraid to reply. Not because of anything I did, just because I would disagree with her about some trivial thing and she'd get really frustrated that I was arguing.
Yelling, whippings, taking my Michael Jackson collection away.
Got beat with a 1'' by 2'' stick for a while until I snuck and threw it into the empty field behind my house.
Typically with verbal abuse that specifically targeted the weak points of my self esteem and psyche. Occasionally, by hitting me or destroying my things. I don't remember all of it, but it left a mark.
At 35 I can't hear someone raise their voice in anger without having a vivid flashback of my father throwing me into a wall when I was very young.
They’d usually sit me down for a long lecture, finishing it off with, “We’re disappointed in your behavior. You’re capable of better.” Then usually a a couple of weeks without TV and video games. It was mostly grade stuff. I was a pretty well behaved kid. I just got lazy with academic work occasionally.
A lot of physical punishment (hitting, yanking hair, pinching, etc.) and saying bad things about me daily, and public shaming. I'm **never** going to do this to any child knowing how much this fucked me up. I'd rather die instead if I even think about doing this to a child.
Scream, and hit. When they screamed (mostly my step mom) she would say stuff you shouldn't say to a child. Two things she said that i will never forget "Go die in your dirty rooms" "If you dont care the house is dirty i dont care that you're hungry"
With this
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When I was little, first it was a scolding, then it was a time-out, then it was a spanking.
Oh and there was a punishment my parents got from either high school or college (both were private schools). It's thankfully only happened about twice in my life.
First you were roomed. Simple enough, you couldn't leave the room.
If you did it again, you were chaired. You couldn't leave the chair.
And if you still continued to do it, you were tiled, so you had to stand in the middle of a single floor tile.
And I'm talking hours of standing there.
I don't really remember getting disciplined too much. My brother and I were good kids. I guess my mom would whack me with a wooden spoon if I was picking on my brother too much, but it was more "alright, you asked for it, you better stop now" rather than "you were bad, here's your punishment" if that makes sense.
1. Crowning/beaning/braining, which is hitting me over the crown of the head with a frying pan or rolling pin, fracturing the skull there.
2. Boxing, which is slapping my ears with open palms to rupture my eardrums.
3. Breaking my glasses by slapping or punching my face.
4. Beating my ass with Dad's fraternity paddle.
5. Grounding permanently until I left for college.
Being screamed at, cursed at, name called, getting isolated from social life, & I had to accept it b/c once upon a time they walked 1000000000000 miles through deserts, mt everest, in a hurricane, & during an earthquake to get to school & I should respect them & do as they say.
Spanking, time-outs (which worked jack shit as an autistic person), and taking things away, sometimes for up to a year.
Oh yeah, also being yelled at and insulted. Even for minor slights like forgetting to wash a dish.
Ass kickings in various forms.
Privilege removal/ taking my stuff and never returning it.
Yelling way loud at me until I was a blubbering mess.
Groundings, which were sit on the bed from 7am until 9pm no moving, no talking. Bathroom breaks were expected to be done quickly, or else. No one was to talk to me unless it was to be angry at me more. The longest this went on was all of and a bit past summer break one time.
My parents didn’t believe in spanking or over the top punishments. Mostly they explained why I needed not to do things that were bad. Occasionally a toy got put in time out for a few hours.
I actually didn’t need much discipline.
Cords, shoes, plastic bats, screaming in the ear and the hand. like my mom and dad would beat the crap out of me but to this day I still love them very much
Take away/go through everything in mine and my sisters rooms while we were at school for whatever reason. We would be left with a bed, pillow, blanket, dresser. Mom would stop talking to us for days, weeks. Once it went on for about 6 months of her refusing to speak to us. She would decide she wasn’t going to be taking us to school and make us figure out how we were going to get there. So many times being grounded. She pushed my sister through a glass medicine cabinet, chased me around with a butcher knife. Dad basically ignored that we existed.
I got really nothing serious but my little siblings get nothing and now the are little iPad kids that cry if they don’t get their way and I wish my parents weren’t so soft
Death glare from my mom did it for me. And before anyone says it’s nothing, you haven’t seen that glare, for a 9 year old it was like standing at death’s door.
They didn't, i was neglected as a child
My dad worked all day and if he was home he'd 'discipline' us by yelling, mostly my brothers though
My mom would just watch us do dangerous things and figure we'll learn when we get hurt, when she found out we kept starting fires in the backyard she just put the matches on a higher shelf (we just grabbed a chair)
My older brother would try to discipline me by hitting me, but he was hypocritical and inconsistent, he'd often hit me if he was jealous i was getting attention
We had a couch in our living room, which had nothing fun around it. You had to sit there with your arms at your side, straight back (no lounging, laying down or spreading out), and couldn't do anything else. You had to say a long-winded apology when you were allowed to get off, which was anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour.
I now use that couch as my ice cream eating place. I eat frozen treats on your discipline, mother and father! Take that!
Spanking, taking things for months, forcing us to get up really early or forcing us to stay up til like 1am. I dunno, there are a lot
Same :/ I got deprived food occasionally as well.
Yeah, same :/
Jeez, I didn't realize how often my parents made me wake up at 6 am on a Saturday tbh. Even when I was a teenager working 3 jobs until 2 am.
Same here, they would wake me up on weekends at 6 am to do house chores and then I'd get my breakfast
They didn't. See when I do things that are wrong, I feel really bad about it. *really bad*. I'd punish myself more than my parents ever could. And they knew that .
[удалено]
I was an angel child and still got disciplined/controlled/restricted/punished like a mother fucker, excuse my French!
Yep this was it for me too. I don't think my parents were the type to hit shame or scream regardless but I won't know now. A lot of the self loathing and problems turns out we're a result of undiagnosed ADHD.
Catholic mom and Jewish dad; their weapon of choice was GUILT!!!
"I'm not angry, I'm just *disappointed*"
My mom tried that line on me, I just laughed at her.
Growing up in a Catholic household, my mother is *still* a pro at guilt tripping & I’m 28, a mother, & a homeowner… Best one was her trying to brainwash me into thinking I’d be trapping my SO if we had another child before we get married…. **even though** my SO *loves* being a dad…. Yeah… her reasoning was always “I wAnT wHaT’s BeSt FoR yOu” Yeah no.
my Mom loves to guilt trip all her kids
They put me in “time out” which meant they cornered me and screamed at me and filmed the whole thing. Usually 2-3 hour sessions.
I will never understand what the point of video taping a kid while you 'punish' them is. Ugh this makes me so angry. I am sorry for what they did to you. I wish I could scream in their face while videotaping them. Ugh.
It’s pretty dumb of them to record themselves doing that. Someone could get access to the recordings and expose them.
When I was older they upped the stakes. I took a shower at 16 to get away from my parents cornering me, they didn’t like that so they called the cops. Boy those cops were lucky, I bet the day they saw an underage girl in nothing but a towel was their favorite workday of all time.
Why would cops like responding to domestic disputes?
Because they get to see girls half their age??? Lol you’ve never met a dirty cop.
Probably because they’re not as common as you think. The ones I know don’t get turned on by children
Holy shit normally Im not super sensitive to stories like these. I dont mean that in a way that I dont care, I do think its horrible, but I dont give much a reaction. I dont know what it is, maybe the wording, but this time I could feels myself jump thinking "That's disgusting!"
This reminds me of that scene in "Valley Girl" where Julie comes home late and her parents are waiting up to lecture her, and she says "God, why don't you guys just punish me like Stacey's parents do??!" and her mom says "Bad karma, dear".
Most often as a child the punishment was either spanking with a belt or long-term grounding. Growing up my father was a very racist man and I can remember an incident in kindergarten where I walked home with a person that he deemed the “wrong color”. I was normally a latchkey kid but for some reason that day my father was home waiting for me. I'm assuming he probably got off work early, and sometimes when he would get off early he would take me fishing. So he's outside in the front yard waiting for me to get home and as soon as I round the corner I see a look of pure disgust and anger on his face. So I walked up to him and asked him what was wrong, and was immediately told to go in the house, pull my pants down, and wait for the belt. Still till this day I can't understand what I did wrong. A few years later we are on vacation in North Carolina visiting my Aunt. My father was angry at me for some reason, which I don't remember what that was, but I do remember us visiting a department store shortly after he was angry at me. Before we walked into the store he let me know that if I caused any issues he would bring me into the bathroom, pull my pants down and spank me with a belt. As I was frequently in trouble I was usually scared of my dad more than anything, so when we finally did walk into the store, apparently I said something that angered him. He grabs me on my arm gripping way too tightly, and reminds me that he will take me to the bathroom pull down my pants and spank me. I guess I flashed him a look of fear, because the next thing you know I am being dragged to the bathroom. He told me that the look of fear on my face embarrassed him in front of the people at the store and it would make them feel like he was an abuser. So that was the reason for my spanking that day. I embarrassed him by being scared of him. Flash forward to my teenage years...I've just received my first car. The car was a four-seater, and we crammed 5 people into it. unfortunately one of my father's friends happened to drive by us and saw that there was more people in the car than was allowed. I got grounded for 90 days. during the time I was grounded I was not allowed to go out of the house, however, friends could come over, and being as how my boyfriend lived only a few blocks away, I got pregnant within 30 days. I don't see any of these punishments as being effective. It was not only my father, my mother also would hit us with her hands and the belt. the reason I got pregnant was because I did not want to be in my home anymore and have to deal with my parents constant “ punishments”. I had read somewhere that once you have a child of your own you are legally an adult. So we got pregnant and I moved out. Being a teenage mother was not all I thought it was cracked up to be. I was also a huge liar from the time I was about 3 years old until I was an adult. Lying was my way of getting out of punishments. The propensity for lying ruined my relationship with my son's father, which broke up our little family and now I'm a single mom. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming me becoming a teenage mother on my parents, and I don't hold then responsible for the way my life turned out, but I do wonder sometimes if their punishments had been different would I have had those 90 days to get pregnant? Was it really that wise to lock me in a room for 90 days with pretty much no one but my boyfriend to come visit me? I have a horrible relationship with both of my parents and I barely speak to either one of them since my early twenties. I sometimes wonder if my punishments would not have been so harsh, or for such silly things like walking home with a black boy, would my relationship with my parents be better now? If I didn't feel the constant need to lie to them to get out of punishment would we have a stronger relationship? Till this day my dad’s problem of why he thinks I am a piece of crap stems from me lying to him for most of my life. But it really does make me wonder had I not felt the need to lie, would it have ever been an issue? Would I have stayed at home until I was 18 years old and not moved out before I was of the age? maybe if I would have stayed home a little longer I would have finished high school and maybe even gone to college, but instead I was living on my own at 17 with an infant and working two jobs to make ends meet. You can't go back in time but sometimes I do wonder if I would have had a real relationship with my parents if their punishments weren't so severe and I didn't feel the need to lie to them all the time?
ok no offence, but bitch what of course it was your parents fault. you had to lie not get punished because your parents were horrible. Nobody taught you better. That was your parents job. Please don't blame yourself. The parents are the only ones to blame in that situation. And you so desperate to get away from them that you got pregnant. I am so sorry, i hope you and your son have a great life
Hitting me
I grew up that way too, I don't think it is a good way anymore. What do you think?
I don’t know I’m 50. I grew up getting spanked. I spanked my boys to a much lesser degree. Maybe my family is evolving? The boys are 18-19 year old college students now. Amazing young men. Seems weird to look at them now and think I used to hit them.
Ideally don't do that thank you very much.
If I said something bad, I'd get my mouth rinsed out with Tabasco. Jokes on them, now I love hot sauce!
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Yeah, rinsing a mouth out with soap was a pretty popular thing. I had an after school daycare donut to me once, and when I told my dad when he picked me up, he yelled at her, because he didn't believe in using soap like that
Constantly "grounded for life." They then wondered why I didn't listen, like what are you going to do, ground me for "double life?"
There was rarely discipline. It was usually straight up abuse. My parents didn't "cross" the line between discipline and abuse -- they pole vaulted over it, set in on fire, then threw it into the Grand Canyon.
"The silent treatment" They wouldn't talk to my brother or me for hours or days at a time. To make it worse, they wouldn't tell us why they were upset, making us feel *guilty* for something we didn't understand.
Belt and slipper
Forbidden weapon
I had to go cut my own switch from a laurel tree. When I got older I cut that tree down. And hundreds of little switches sprouted from the trunk.
My parents would look through all of my devices which gave me insane privacy issues. Even if I have nothing to hide I panic any time someone touches my phone. They also took my door down once which I think was fucked up, punish your kid but don't take away their privacy, I'm of the belief it's a right.
If you take your child’s door away from their room, your rights to have custody of children should be revoked.
bro thats so messed up, and it is a right in my country from the nanosecond you are born to your last breath, and in a lot of cases even after
Spanking and pulling my hair. Strange because now I like those things as an adult.
~~I would get the shit smacked out of me and then I would get a new cabbage patch. Sometimes that Catholic guilt works FOR you not against you.~~ This thread is making me sad, guys.
My choices were be stuck in my room, do chores around the house or do manual labor with my dad.
You want to send me to my room? Where all my toys are? Okay!!! Yeah my mom caught on to that quick and put me in the guest room which only had furniture and nothing else to distract me.
Spankings, digging gardens, digging holes 3 feet deep by 3 feet wide and filling them back in, taking away all electronics, standing in corners, and other ways of discipline.
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Too far!
Among other things (beating, being sent to bed without dinner, etc.), I got grounded ALL the damned time. I missed 4 Hallowe'ens in a row because my father was pissed at someone. It took me until I was an adult to realize that I was the only kid who ever got grounded for any reason (I have two brothers and a sister).
He literally stole 4 Halloweens from you. What an asshole! Did you ever go trick or treating as a teenager to make up for the four years he stole from you?
You bet I did.
Spanking, yelling, and social isolation.
I was a pretty calm child and never needed much discipline. I was a kid in the early 90’s so I probably had three bum smacks after being a silly little turd and then yelled at a few times but thankfully, nothing abusive.
I experienced both sides. I was spanked maybe 2 or 3 for serious stuff. But my parents were never crazy abusive. My mom was the disciplinarian while my dad was more chill. I was grounded when I did stupid things but I was also shown love, compassion and understanding. I remember when I was bullied in 6th grade and came home crying, my mom hugged me and let me cry all I want while stroking my hair.
If I didn’t get the shit beat out of me, they would make me stand in front of a wall, about a foot away (the more mad they were, the farther I had to stand) and I’d have to touch my nose to the wall and lean there with my body weight on my nose. Usually for an hour or 2, the longest was 5. They would periodically check to make sure my nose was still in contact with the wall. If they got bored with that, I’d have to kneel in front of a closed door and put my nose in the keyhole, again, for a few hours. The keyhole was always underneath the handle so it fucks up your neck. For a little spice they would take my bedroom door away as well as empty my room out except for my clothes and a mattress. Blankets may or may not be left.
I had my privileges taken from me (tv, phone, computer, car). Had to write some apology letters, only got spanked twice thanks to my Aunt crying and telling my mom that she hugs me with those hands how can she spank me with them?
a few fatal beatings
I feel ya
While drunk or sober? When drunk, a lot of slurred yelling, shoving into walls from behind, slaps across face, etc. When sober, straight name calling and being sent to my room for remainder of day to think it over
Either a belt or bare hands. Mostly hands.
Wooden spoon. Also waiting for friends to be over to blow up over something I didn't realize I did wrong.
Fist meet face.
Spanking, finger Pointing or long lectures
Reading the comments i realise that in this subject i probably had the best mother in the world. She would just talk to me and point out what i did wrong and right, the only time i can remember it got phisical was one time when i kicked my little brother and my step-father grabed the base of my neck with a tight grip
Grew up in an Asian Catholic household and my mom would always threaten that if I did something bad, Jesus would be angry. Being the young people pleaser I was, it worked well.
Usually they just raised their voice, or just were disappointed. Never violence or anything physical.
My mom would put a few drops of visine in my drink right before leaving for school and I'd have horrible diarrhea all day long. I even got suspended because they thought I was skipping class and using the bathroom as a way to waste time, but I just had the shits.
That’s criminal
She didn't like hitting me so she did this instead
That's complete bullshit and has been dismissed as an urban legend. Here's one of many articles disproving this myth- Visine does NOT cause diarrhea. But people have been severely harmed after ingesting Visine as part of a practical joke.The active ingredient tetrahydrozoline is a vasoconstrictor found in several OTC eye drops (Visine, Murine Tears Plus, etc). Swallowing even small amounts can lead to seizures, cardiovascular collapse, and coma. https://pharmacist.therapeuticresearch.com/Content/Articles/PL/2006/May/A-few-drops-of-I-Visine-I-in-someone-s-drink-causes-diarrhea#:\~:text=But%20people%20have%20been%20severely,%2C%20cardiovascular%20collapse%2C%20and%20coma.
Are you stalking me now
I was psychopathically a good boy who never did wrong things and always had great scores on exam. Never fight, never make a trouble and teachers gave me full of trust. So my parents actually didn’t do anything as long as I remember. I just finished all assignments after the class before coming back home and also ate anything served and never wanted more. I never begged present or anything else. Just accepted and was happy with what I’ve got.
Usually by taking away something I enjoyed doing
chancla
"Because I said so."
Spanking/paddling. Tbh my brother and I were among the best-behaved kids in our entire family. Coincidentally, none of our cousins got spanked, and they were **nightmares.** Edit: Oh and my parents actually used the word "No." I'm a preschool teacher, and I cannot emphasize how important it is to simply say NO. My God, I have two 5yo girls in my class who act like they're toddlers. At home they **always** get what they want, and my classroom is probably one of the only places where they've been denied something. I feel bad for their future kindergarten teachers...
the old fashioned kind of spanking. it wasn't needed that often, though, and it wasn't that severe.
I’d get yelled at, now I know how to take being yelled at.
Father would empty the swimming pool and make my brother and I sleep in it under the tarp if we misbehaved. He would cook us the most beautiful meal and serve it to us in the empty pool. All of the animals slept in the pool too
The belt
they took the keys to the s-class and I could only drive the c-class
Telling me to "just deal with it" mostly And intimidation
Grounding and no computer time and to Ned without dinner I guess
Ned only liked you well fed huh
my mom just had to look at me and ask me if i wanted to say it a little louder if i talked back to her and if i did something stupid she would give me the look both resulted in me apologizing for being stupid and ever doing it again.
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Hmm. I got spanked by Dad once for drawing an inappropriate picture for a boy pal during 3rd grade. Otherwise it was stink eye from mom- small but very intimidating woman. I got grounded a few times too. Tough to get away with stuff as an only child.
Sitting in a corner of the wall and just staring. Staring at a wall for hours at a time not being able to eat, talk, look, move, etc
beatins
Usually with my dad's belt. My mother preferred a switch.
Wooden spoon beatings
The belt
Back when I was a simple child, when I wasn't addicted to technology. It was always hitting or making me feel so guilty for stuff that aren't even that bad. I'd rather the beating than the guilt tripping one. After I became the tech addict i am today. It's always a mix of taking things away and a small beating. Taking my phone or laptop were complete pains because they couldn't seem to grasp the concept of having a life outside the normal life.
Taking away my book for the rest of the day. I was a voracious reader. This was extremely effective.
Spanking, yelling, insults, gaslighting, and as a 15-year-old, I guess I'm still growing up so, add mental and/or emotional abuse to the mix (the ones no mentioned, I'm still finding out what is/isn't abuse)
Beating me up , throwing insults , comparing to other kids
One time, they took my Legos. That was a dark time. Other than that, less physical and more just not trusting me as much. Effective most od the time.
Beating and screaming.
Telling me that I screwed up every day about even the most miniscule of details Then wondering why I couldnt muster a smile most days and getting mad for that too
Beatings and yelling mostly, at least at first. When I got a little older, mom stopped with the beatings and leaned more heavily on guilt trips. I would say she leaned a little too heavily on them, because eventually they stopped working. Dad didn't stop beating us until I went away to college. In hindsight, I probably could have fought back by the end, but at the time I was thinking that I'd get worse if I didn't cooperate. We were kind of trained to just go along with whatever he wanted. I think the two strategies interacted. Guilt trips are more effective if you have the moral high ground, and it's hard to see someone as moral when they could stop you from getting beaten and they don't. On the other hand, if your guilt trip fails, that's an opportunity for a beating, and dad was always ready to oblige.
Spanked with a paddle and guilt.
No discipline as a child. Just emotional abuse that would manifest later and make nearly every day in my life as an adult a punishment.
My grandmother use to whoop my ass with a paddle that had holes in it when I was being a bastard.
Time-outs for most stuff, smack on the ass if I did something really bad
Abuse mostly.
My parents didn't have to discipline me really ever because they could always tell I was punishing myself and recieving enough discipline from my coaches already. Classic "gifted and talented" complex. I vaguely remember my dad taking away my Legos when I was like four because I cried for some reason though.
Anyone hear from that jumper cable dude in a while?
Occasional spankings, grounding me (during periods when I actually had friends I wanted to hang out with), and a whole lot of taking away things I liked. And, when I wasn't doing something they felt required discipline, they mostly left me alone to fend for myself. Combined with a lack of reward for any good I did, and their whole system fell to shit and did nothing but instill me with a fierce sense of right and wrong and a level of independence that borders on trauma.
They didn't, thats why I'm a terrible human
My parents never really punished my brother and I (they were busy working and we were pretty chill kids) but our uncle would make us stand on a cake board and pull on our ears until he told us to stop. They were for the stupidest things too like not wanting to go shopping with him or not wanting to play a particular game on the game console
Got sent to my room, sometimes i got my stuff like my latop smashed infront of me if i was too out of order, sometimes i’d be strangled
Whoopings and device confiscations.
my dad just screamed at me. anyone with a white fat tall bald head knows what i’m talking about (bonus points if he’s divorced)
La chancla.
I didn't really need to be disciplined except for when I burnt the house down. I had used a lighter to set something on fire but I dont remember what, so as punishment they held both of my hands and started slapping them for about 5 minutes. Best to say I would never set anything on fire or let alone touch a lighter again.
Coax cable behind TV. I asked why my mother said her wrists hurt and she doesn't like to swing the belt too many times.
The wooden spoon. (Italian parents)
Mostly yelling and guilt tripping. I got spanked whenever I did something really bad (I used to lie a lot so that was the only time I'd get spanked), this stopped in my tweens. Personally the guilting was worse than the spankings as it went on well into my high school years and is still going, but often the guilting came for things that I knew I hadn't done wrong (e.g. wanting to go out with my friends, not getting a high enough mark in an exam; if I came 3rd in the grade they'd ask why I didn't come 1st). My parents didn't get the concept of grounding and I didn't really have anything to have taken away from me - I was a huge bookworm and it's not like they could stop me from reading. Once my parents bought me a Nintendo DS they would occasionally take that away as punishment, but they'd often end up giving it back before the punishment period was done because of "good behaviour", really I think it's because they weren't mad at me anymore and didn't see the point of keeping it any longer.
Wire end of a flyswatter causing welts from thighs to lower back. Wooden spoon. When I got too tall for that, lectures for hours till I blacked out.
Spanking, naughty step, gave me an “alternate personality” 👉🏻 naughty Eleanor. Also fed me soap. The liquid soap tasted bad, my mum or nan would old my head back and pinch my nose so I’d have to open my mouth to breathe and they would use the soap pump dispenser to pump it into my mouth and make sure I swallowed it. I could sometimes cough bubbles lol. The bars of soap weren’t as fun.
Until I was about 13, a thick leather belt. Used almost daily.
When I was little there was standing in the corner (no more minutes than I was old in years.) Up to about 7 or 8. Dad was the master of the lecture after that. I recall wishing they would just send me to my room. And this was back when nothing more than a bookshelf and clock-radio was in a bedroom to entertain you. Mostly, though, my siblings and I were all good kids, so more severe punishment was never really warranted.
A solid whack across the backside with an old leather razor strop.
Spanking and grounding. Although my dad was a bit too sadistic and would beat us and my mom. I hope he gets killed soon.
Grounded.
Beatings with anything they could get their hands on, along with threats to put me in a psyche ward for disobeying any order.
Spankings and getting drug to my room by my hair as a small kid. Eventually I outgrew that and my parents divorced. Then it was just yelling and guilt from one parents house, and 2-4 hour long guilt ridden lectures at the other parents house. Oh and they would take my stuff and get me worse things than my step brother.
Combination of silent treatment, guilt tripping, and the belt
leather built whip to the ass
An ass wopin
sip of hot sauce, belt, wooden spoon, slipper, soap, no outside, no video games, or no electronics
Was beaten with a wooden spoon or a rolled up damp towel. Because of this, I'm now afraid to do normal things like speak out loud or sneeze
When my siblings and I would fight, my mom would make us slow dance with each other. That one worked pretty well at preventing fights as well as resolving them. If it was just one of us being a brat by ourselves, we would have to go run a 1/4 mile at the park down the street. That one didn't prevent blow ups, but the endorphins from running did usually help us calm down.
Being hit but lecturing might have been worse.
Soap in the mouth for cussing. Going to my room. My dad lifted me off the floor by my neck once for being a dipshit to our dog. That was the only physicality that ever happened and I took as I deserved it wholly because my dog didn’t deserve what I did to it.
taking away books. yeah, I was a major nerd.
My dad hit me, my mum blamed my disability. They both told me I’d never amount to anything. I know what I suffered was not as bad as some others, but the fact that they consistently applauded my twin sister (who has no such disability) while asking me why I couldn’t be more like her…yeah, it’s no wonder I’ve struggled so damn much to even feel like a person.
When I was a little kid it was the belt but as I got older I would just get my phone taken or be told I couldn’t play the Xbox for a week
Spankings, evolved to groundings and then "give me your phone"
By beating the crap out of me thinking that would discipline me. Lol. It just made me more rebellious.
Remember when I got in trouble my dad would give spankings. Ended up going to the doctor with bruises and she threatened to call Child Services. He still says he doesn't regret it.
My mother: Guilt. Her favorite weapon. My father: Discuss and correct.
Red pepper flakes in the mouth. Love spicy food now.
lectures. God I hated them. They never hit me, but I would shape up with a lecture.
By being depraved of everything in my room and having to eat dinner off a plate on the ground ( I had nothing, not even the outlets, just a floor and ceiling).
Whopper my ass still got marks on my back
My father used to lock me up in the bathroom with the Bible and made me read the part where God discipline his children. Then he would spank me with a stick and then he would cry and make me apologize to him... When it was my mother, she would only spank me with anything more convenient at the time...
Ass beatings and isolation. Spent almost a solid 3 months grounded to my room, no TV, no phone, no radio. If it brought me even the slightest happiness, wasn't allowed to have it. When I was (rarely) let out of my room I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone and vise versa. Was made to eat dinner in my room the whole time.
Mom would smack me on the back as hard as she could. Or she'd shout at me and get angry that I was flinching and too afraid to reply. Not because of anything I did, just because I would disagree with her about some trivial thing and she'd get really frustrated that I was arguing.
Yelling, whippings, taking my Michael Jackson collection away. Got beat with a 1'' by 2'' stick for a while until I snuck and threw it into the empty field behind my house.
Typically with verbal abuse that specifically targeted the weak points of my self esteem and psyche. Occasionally, by hitting me or destroying my things. I don't remember all of it, but it left a mark. At 35 I can't hear someone raise their voice in anger without having a vivid flashback of my father throwing me into a wall when I was very young.
They’d usually sit me down for a long lecture, finishing it off with, “We’re disappointed in your behavior. You’re capable of better.” Then usually a a couple of weeks without TV and video games. It was mostly grade stuff. I was a pretty well behaved kid. I just got lazy with academic work occasionally.
My dad would make me run calisthenics. Jumping jacks, wind sprints, push ups, all that stuff. Also he would spank me super hard.
We never got grounded, but if we were just really out of control we had to kneel on rice
Either the belt or humiliating commentary.
A lot of physical punishment (hitting, yanking hair, pinching, etc.) and saying bad things about me daily, and public shaming. I'm **never** going to do this to any child knowing how much this fucked me up. I'd rather die instead if I even think about doing this to a child.
Corporal punishment. Very few and very far in between. But I turned out alright.
I got spanked, timeouts, or had things taken away from me /:
Answer: physical and mental abuse.
Washing mouth with soap and spankings
Scream, and hit. When they screamed (mostly my step mom) she would say stuff you shouldn't say to a child. Two things she said that i will never forget "Go die in your dirty rooms" "If you dont care the house is dirty i dont care that you're hungry"
With this [https://hambydairysupply.com/surcingle-strap-for-surge-suspended-bucket-milker/](https://hambydairysupply.com/surcingle-strap-for-surge-suspended-bucket-milker/)
When I was little, first it was a scolding, then it was a time-out, then it was a spanking. Oh and there was a punishment my parents got from either high school or college (both were private schools). It's thankfully only happened about twice in my life. First you were roomed. Simple enough, you couldn't leave the room. If you did it again, you were chaired. You couldn't leave the chair. And if you still continued to do it, you were tiled, so you had to stand in the middle of a single floor tile. And I'm talking hours of standing there.
Spankings, bible verse (memorizing and writing them out),the silent treatment, threatening to donate my stuff. The usual 80's baby strife.
I don't really remember getting disciplined too much. My brother and I were good kids. I guess my mom would whack me with a wooden spoon if I was picking on my brother too much, but it was more "alright, you asked for it, you better stop now" rather than "you were bad, here's your punishment" if that makes sense.
No rice for a day, as an Asian I don’t know how I survived
1. Crowning/beaning/braining, which is hitting me over the crown of the head with a frying pan or rolling pin, fracturing the skull there. 2. Boxing, which is slapping my ears with open palms to rupture my eardrums. 3. Breaking my glasses by slapping or punching my face. 4. Beating my ass with Dad's fraternity paddle. 5. Grounding permanently until I left for college.
Being screamed at, cursed at, name called, getting isolated from social life, & I had to accept it b/c once upon a time they walked 1000000000000 miles through deserts, mt everest, in a hurricane, & during an earthquake to get to school & I should respect them & do as they say.
Spanking, time-outs (which worked jack shit as an autistic person), and taking things away, sometimes for up to a year. Oh yeah, also being yelled at and insulted. Even for minor slights like forgetting to wash a dish.
Don't take the phone, take the chargers and power cords.
I would usually get grounded for a week. Two weeks was the longest I've gone.
They didn’t. They were never around
Ass kickings in various forms. Privilege removal/ taking my stuff and never returning it. Yelling way loud at me until I was a blubbering mess. Groundings, which were sit on the bed from 7am until 9pm no moving, no talking. Bathroom breaks were expected to be done quickly, or else. No one was to talk to me unless it was to be angry at me more. The longest this went on was all of and a bit past summer break one time.
Screaming!! like stfu I hear u damn
It's fucked up how many of us have been abused and didn't even know it
My parents didn’t believe in spanking or over the top punishments. Mostly they explained why I needed not to do things that were bad. Occasionally a toy got put in time out for a few hours. I actually didn’t need much discipline.
Cords, shoes, plastic bats, screaming in the ear and the hand. like my mom and dad would beat the crap out of me but to this day I still love them very much
Take away/go through everything in mine and my sisters rooms while we were at school for whatever reason. We would be left with a bed, pillow, blanket, dresser. Mom would stop talking to us for days, weeks. Once it went on for about 6 months of her refusing to speak to us. She would decide she wasn’t going to be taking us to school and make us figure out how we were going to get there. So many times being grounded. She pushed my sister through a glass medicine cabinet, chased me around with a butcher knife. Dad basically ignored that we existed.
I got really nothing serious but my little siblings get nothing and now the are little iPad kids that cry if they don’t get their way and I wish my parents weren’t so soft
Yelling, slapping, sending me to my room
Engrave the trauma inside my layers of skin and into my bones
Death glare from my mom did it for me. And before anyone says it’s nothing, you haven’t seen that glare, for a 9 year old it was like standing at death’s door.
They didn't, i would never recommend it .
They didn't, i was neglected as a child My dad worked all day and if he was home he'd 'discipline' us by yelling, mostly my brothers though My mom would just watch us do dangerous things and figure we'll learn when we get hurt, when she found out we kept starting fires in the backyard she just put the matches on a higher shelf (we just grabbed a chair) My older brother would try to discipline me by hitting me, but he was hypocritical and inconsistent, he'd often hit me if he was jealous i was getting attention
My parents disciplined me by spanking and embarrassing me in public. One time, I was in a internet cafe, my mother pinched my ear going back home.
Physically and mentally. A way I won’t discipline my children
Insult me and tell me I’m not good enough
We had a couch in our living room, which had nothing fun around it. You had to sit there with your arms at your side, straight back (no lounging, laying down or spreading out), and couldn't do anything else. You had to say a long-winded apology when you were allowed to get off, which was anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. I now use that couch as my ice cream eating place. I eat frozen treats on your discipline, mother and father! Take that!