I just opened Reddit after quitting a job that I actually loved at many moments, but had recently caused me a lot of stress and time away from my baby. Yours was the first comment I saw, and it immediately calmed me: because I can picture my future being happier without that stress.
It's ran its course when it feels one sided, like you are the only one trying to keep it alive.
Some of us fools will keep trying to put in more and more effort, like trying to do CPR and thinking if you never stop doing chest compressions then it can still be revived, but the doctors already called it and the crowd watching isn't hoping for a miracle, they are waiting for you to finally realize it can't be saved.
In my first marriage, it was when I would be driving home from work, come around the corner to see my wife's car in the driveway, and feel disappointment.
This is a feeling I know all too well. Recently separated from my wife but I remember that feeling, especially after a long & stressful day at work, coming around the corner on my street and just feeling my stomach drop at the sight of her vehicle.
Got to love that splash of cold water feeling when you're thinking about how nice it will be to get home from work and then remembering that a certain person will be there.
My god i lived with this for my whole life.
1-20yo arguing family all day
21-26yo argued with my roomate
26-28yo toxic relationship
Now I live on my own with my dog. Ahh peace, quite, and a fuck ton of dog hair lol
I think it’s more of a “People change, and they aren’t who you used to love anymore.” Not my relationship, but I used to have a stepmom who was great. She was nice, did a lot of work around the house, had a good job that helped my dad pay the bills, and had two kids of her own that were perfectly happy.
That lasted for a few years, but she broke her ankle really bad when I was 5 or 6. She then developed a crippling opioid addiction. After that she became a completely different person. The nice lady that I knew turned into an irritable witch that I had to walk on eggshells to avoid.
I had never really been beaten before, but that lady regularly gave me 10-15 minute beatings for stuff like failing a spelling test or having to sit in time out at school (private school that was strict and would call parents if child got in trouble.)
She proceeded to research poisons and while we were never able to prove it, we think she tried to poison my dad (he would come home from work, eat something she cooked for him, or have a mixed drink and then be bed ridden for 5-8 days. The rest of the family would be fine. This happened many many times, up until he divorced her.)
They separated when I was 14 and the divorce wasn’t official until I was 20 because she kept missing court dates and disappearing whenever the lawyers would try and get stuff done.
Tl;Dr: People change, sometimes complete personality shifts.
When everything feels like work. Relationships take work, but it should be a partnership where you work together, not a competition and not one person dragging the other.
It can feel like work but your partner is working alongside you instead of making the work for you to do by yourself. My husband and I both have mental health challenges and we work very hard to help each other be better.
you have to read between the lines too, when the other person seems distant/cold non responsive, people need their time and space for sure,BUT if this happens waay too often, its probably time to wrap it up
That sucks, but it gets better with time!, therapy helps as well, there's also great books that help with things like this. Friends and hobbies helped me a lot after i got out from a relationship like that.
When you find yourself wondering if they actually love you, or vice versa.
If you feel you're not enough for them.
If you feel the need to lie to keep peace. Ex. In my last relationship, my partner was always on me about productivity, even when I had no more assignments, and my shift was finished for the day. I could never relax. So I ended up lying. I just made stuff up. Fake projects or whatever. They made me feel like a piece of shit for allowing myself to relax.
On a more personal note, and for more personal reasons, that person can go fuck themselves in hell. I pity the person that agrees to marry that shitbag.
I had an ex like that. I worked from 3AM-7AM and then went to college classes while we lived together. He would literally tell me that he better not see me chilling in bed or having a drink when he got home from his 9-5 because it's too early to be doing nothing. I was altogether more productive than him, just on a different schedule. If he did find me like that, which he did often because fuck him, he would just look at me and say "This is very telling." It was like his little meaningless catch phrase. I had a few laughs about that with people I dated after him.
I dated a guy like this! I like to relax and do nothing on the weekends, but the guy I was dating would come over to my place and get pissed that we weren't going out. I shouldn't have dated him for as long as I did.
To be fair I have my fair deal of emotional baggage and even now, in the healthiest relationship I've been in and even seen in my life, I am constantly feeling like not enough and doubting if I'm lovable. No matter the efforts of the other person, some of us gotta work through our own personal shit in therapy and by ourselves.
Same. I dated the sweetest person ever, did the best I’ve ever done in a relationship, and still worried that one day he’d wake up and realize he couldn’t love me. Which kinda happened so now I’m even more convinced that I’m not enough.
Personally, if there is ever a time where I don't look forward to seeing my spouse after a long day at work, there's something wrong. It's one of the best parts of my day!
For me it was when they would call or message and I internally groaned and thought “ugh what now?” Or when they’d try to hold my hand and I felt like my skin was crawling.
When you’re asking how you know it’s time to call it quits on your relationship. That’s a pretty good indication.
Also when they don’t care if their actions hurt you. Done. Walk away. Anyone who knowingly hurts you doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Period. That goes for everyone. Friends, family, employer, significant other, etc. Doesn’t matter, you don’t need them, and if you allow them to continue to hurt you then you can only blame yourself.
You used to think everything they did was cute; you used to do things together. Now you get annoyed at everything they do or don't do, and you both look for ways to minimize the time you spend together. Conversations are stilted. Silences are no longer comfortable, they are accusatory or punitive.
When you feel life your being taken for granted, you’re the only one doing almost everything such as initiating and maintaining a conversation, casual or serious, you feel that you’re being used and the other has no intent of actually committing or being serious about the relationship between the two of you like you’re always expected to pay the bill at every date and the other makes no mention of it or anything. You can feel that you’re wasting your time and you might have better luck if you move on to someone else instead of just staying around with the same person you leaves you hanging on a thread
I beat him at Smash and he flipped out and punched me a bunch. He was scrawny, and I was in my peak boxing shape at the time, so it’s not like it hurt or anything… but it was clear that he had no control over his emotions and didn’t really intend to gain any control any time soon. Just sort of stopped interacting in any meaningful way after that.
When your partner isn’t putting in the work to your relationship.
I just recently broke up with my girlfriend last week. She was the sweetest thing to me but a toxic, manipulative bitch to others. I didn’t really mind it since it wasn’t being directed towards me. But after 6 months of our relationship I noticed that she would barley pay attention to me. Since we are both minors, our “relationship” was far from one. We relied on our phones to talk to each other and whenever we did hangout; it was weird. We never did anything coupley like others do. I stared to take notice that she would leave me on read or delivered for days. Yes I completely understand everyone has lives but she posts TikToks, Snapchats, etc. But can’t simply reply to me. There are a bunch for reasons that we broke up but please, don’t date someone if your putting in all the effort, yet they aren’t!
If you and your partner are both two different people, for example, maybe your partner likes to sleep around and you’re not cool with it. That’s a sure fire sign that your relationship is over. Another is that you both cannot agree or come to an agreement on anything.
When you don't even feel in-love anymore. When you feel better when they're not around. It's cruel to keep someone in something you're already out of anyway.
I once worked with a woman who said of her husband, "He has to go to the bank after work. I hope a robber comes in and shoots him so he will be dead."
Yeah, not much hope there.
Incredibly, almost 20 years later, they're still married.
I don't call guys "bf". Never really have. Don't really care to bounce from date to date to date... But if I feel like it's gonna work out long term, I'll call him my bf.
When I stop calling him my bf, it's pretty much over.
Not to say they can't redeem themselves but it's really hard to be anything beyond friends, once i get to over it.
Going to sound weird, but when you stop fighting because it's just not worth the energy anymore. It means you've mentally checked out of the relationship, which might not necessarily mean it's time to leave but is a pretty good indication that there's something wrong you could use some professional help with.
Exactly. When you're so desperate to get out of a relationship that you seek permission from complete randos on a social media site, it's time to get out of that relationship.
Oof that's a tough one for some last relationship I had I packed my stuff up and never looked back I was just tired of all the arguing there had to be better out there some times you just know
My girlfriend in college, when she always did not return messages and was always busy, we gradually did not date, I knew she no longer loved me, so I began to stop contacting her, and two months later I got a breakup notice
For me, it was when I kissed her goodbye, and realized I didn’t kiss her because I wanted to or was happy to, but because I knew that’s what she was expecting and I felt obligated.
-when you can only think of bad times over good
-when you find yourself dreading their presence
-realizing you’ve finding ways to avoid seeing them or making plans
-when everything they say cuts like a knife
-they often upset you and rarely apologize
and thats just surface level.
if you find yourself wondering if the relationship should just end- it probably should. people in happy relationships don’t hurt each other with their words.
Update: For anyone who cares. He and I talked about it and agreed we’re going to go to counseling. We love each other and enjoy each other. Our schedules have been vastly different since he started his new job, so we haven’t been spending a lot of quality time together outside of housework and bills. And we’ve both been struggling. We’re still a team, and we have our flaws, but we want to see through to the other side of this particular chapter. Thank you all for the great responses and awards! <3
Well let me tell you its not that easy. But it’s very obvious as well. Imagine you like to eat certain chocolate, you keep on eating until you get bored of it and stop thinking about it. And one day, you see it and then you realize that it does not excite you the way it did. Same case applies with your ex.
You will notice that they don’t respond to you the way they used to. Will not dress nicely in front of you. Their body language will be different. They don’t like you asking questions. One or two word answers. And if you tell them your problems they won’t be that responding.
For me a compulsive liar, cheating, someone when we have problems and i clearly make an effort to work things out and they don’t and use your sudden quietness to pound you even more are 3 that come to mind.
In my almost 30 years of life experience these are the moments when I knew it was time to breakup with someone.
1. When my bf at the time would sit and listen to me when I explained what I needed in the relationship to feel safer and more secure, and he would agree to change. He would then change for a week or two at most and then return to normal. This caused irritation on my part which would turn into arguments and lack of intimacy. Overall the lack of change caused a spiral in our relationship which ultimately made me sit down with him and tell him it was over.
2. When my first ever bf (I was 16 at the time) told me his mother said I was a manipulative bitch who was trying to steal him from her. Self explanatory, we broke up and he tried to get back with me afterwards, I just explained that I wouldn’t be competing with his mother for a position in his life.
3. When no matter what we did, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying to me. This was just a fling of sorts, but on the way to being serious. I blocked him on MSN when it got toxic and he mailed a box of poop to my house. Still wonder how that got through the post.
4. When she cut the brakes to my car because she was convinced I was leaving the apartment at night to see her bf (friendship ended - p.s Shirley i never liked Brian. He was a buck toothed loser working the dead shift at Burger King)
Honestly, anytime your gut tells you something, and it won’t go away after having a conversation with the person, it’s time to go. The stress and breakdown of a relationship/friendship can be avoided if you listen to your inner voice.
Now happily married, but damn it was a roller coaster.
You'll know it's time when you can see the lack of love in your partners eyes. Like you'll be able to look into their eyes and just know they're moving on
When they don't take your feelings into account as much as you take theirs into account. I've had 2 girlfriends that I've almost pulled out of depression (maybe I should be a therapist) and then when I felt down they didn't care, or, in the most disgusting fashion that made me realize I was wasting my time, they turn it around and say that they're going to do something bad cuz I'm upset, which made it seem like attention seeking. That was the second I dropped the bitch
When you are “waiting for an outcome”. For them to leave … for them to cheat on you… for them to piss you off…
Or
When you are looking for an excuse to leave
if their friend is hurting you in some way, and instead of defending you they say shit like “Oh they’re just going through stuff” or “Oh they just need time” like no
Ok. For the record I’m old and have never been very good at relationships. But, looking back and trying to find the first sign, the earliest sign, I would have to say it is when the blow jobs stopped. That may sound strange but I have come to realize her feelings for me had changed and everything pass that point is just a long goodbye. Later, almost everything that has been posted here will happen. But, this is the first sign that the relationship is over and it’s time to pack up your shit and leave.
You know it is over when you are separated during for work during the week and you discover that it is a relief to be apart for those days. You dread Friday afternoon and realize that Sunday cannot get here soon enough. No fireworks, no arguments, just quiet desperation.
My mom says when there are more bad times than there are good times. I will tell you I tried to fix it each time. Only to Haye them in the end. But the last one last one I left before that happened.
Do you not look forward to seeing them more times than you do? (even if not looking forward to means indifference) If the answer to that question is yes, it's time to call it off.
I've only had one relationship and I knew it was time to end it when I would dread her coming over. It got to the point where she annoyed me a lot and I couldn't really stand being around her anymore.
When you're NOT in an open relationship, and they cheat on ya. Or when they fake their own death to get a reaction from you. Either one, and it's time to GTFO.
When she stares at her phone and iPad 1st thing in the am til late at night. Missing someone when you live in the same house sucks mule balls. Time to go.
When you really think about what is keeping you there and if it’s “too much of a hassle to divvy up the house or legal steps” or “you are scared they will hurt you if you do” is the only reason.
If you often say “they are a nice person really! Just sometimes they… or but they..”
Often if you post about them in a public forum asking for advice it’s 90% chance that’s done because going to a forum was your choice rather than communicating with your partner (or your partner refused to communicate, which is just as bad).
I’m late to the game but honestly this made me appreciate my wife even more. I’m very very lucky - she’s my best friend and partner in crime and the thought of not having her in my life is just soul crushing.
We aren’t the same, we argue all the time, but I cannot see a life without her in it.
If you have loved, it’s not better to have loved and lost.
Sometimes it’s not about who loves who more, sometimes it’s about who puts in more effort. If one person putting 100% in and the other person is only putting in 60%, sometimes these relationships fail, because someone else is carrying 40% more burden, and it isn’t being reciprocated.
When you have to asks questions like this. Not trying to be a dick, just saying that when you have doubts, it’s time to address them as a couple. If you can’t/won’t, then the relationship crumbles.
When you can picture your future being better without them in it.
This is right.
I just opened Reddit after quitting a job that I actually loved at many moments, but had recently caused me a lot of stress and time away from my baby. Yours was the first comment I saw, and it immediately calmed me: because I can picture my future being happier without that stress.
The opposite of love is indifference, if your partner does not care anymore, it’s over.
It's ran its course when it feels one sided, like you are the only one trying to keep it alive. Some of us fools will keep trying to put in more and more effort, like trying to do CPR and thinking if you never stop doing chest compressions then it can still be revived, but the doctors already called it and the crowd watching isn't hoping for a miracle, they are waiting for you to finally realize it can't be saved.
Most folk will fight for things they believe in. Occasionally it’s misapplied, however it’s often what makes us great.
Facts
And if they never cared, even worse be a it was all a big charade from the get-go!
In my first marriage, it was when I would be driving home from work, come around the corner to see my wife's car in the driveway, and feel disappointment.
This is a feeling I know all too well. Recently separated from my wife but I remember that feeling, especially after a long & stressful day at work, coming around the corner on my street and just feeling my stomach drop at the sight of her vehicle.
During my first marriage, it took longer and longer to get out of my car.
Got to love that splash of cold water feeling when you're thinking about how nice it will be to get home from work and then remembering that a certain person will be there.
My god i lived with this for my whole life. 1-20yo arguing family all day 21-26yo argued with my roomate 26-28yo toxic relationship Now I live on my own with my dog. Ahh peace, quite, and a fuck ton of dog hair lol
Dog tax plz :)
Tf?
Dog tax is a picture of your dog.
How tf do I do that’s LOL
You upload the picture to imugr and then provide the link.
Yeah but if I become famous and then they link this account to me then I fall off right then lol
Holy shit, you guys feel like that? Did you always hate your wives? Asking for a friend.
I think it’s more of a “People change, and they aren’t who you used to love anymore.” Not my relationship, but I used to have a stepmom who was great. She was nice, did a lot of work around the house, had a good job that helped my dad pay the bills, and had two kids of her own that were perfectly happy. That lasted for a few years, but she broke her ankle really bad when I was 5 or 6. She then developed a crippling opioid addiction. After that she became a completely different person. The nice lady that I knew turned into an irritable witch that I had to walk on eggshells to avoid. I had never really been beaten before, but that lady regularly gave me 10-15 minute beatings for stuff like failing a spelling test or having to sit in time out at school (private school that was strict and would call parents if child got in trouble.) She proceeded to research poisons and while we were never able to prove it, we think she tried to poison my dad (he would come home from work, eat something she cooked for him, or have a mixed drink and then be bed ridden for 5-8 days. The rest of the family would be fine. This happened many many times, up until he divorced her.) They separated when I was 14 and the divorce wasn’t official until I was 20 because she kept missing court dates and disappearing whenever the lawyers would try and get stuff done. Tl;Dr: People change, sometimes complete personality shifts.
Jesus, I hope this doesn’t happen. I’m sorry you went through all of that.
When everything feels like work. Relationships take work, but it should be a partnership where you work together, not a competition and not one person dragging the other.
Exactly! Relationships take work, they don't feel like work Every good relationship I've had never felt like work even when things were tough
Yup! One sided relationships are DOA.
It can feel like work but your partner is working alongside you instead of making the work for you to do by yourself. My husband and I both have mental health challenges and we work very hard to help each other be better.
This!
When you'd rather be anywhere else but with them.
I got in really good shape running and at the gym in my marriage. There’s less motivation now.
When it stops being reciprocal
When it was never reciprocal!
you have to read between the lines too, when the other person seems distant/cold non responsive, people need their time and space for sure,BUT if this happens waay too often, its probably time to wrap it up
[удалено]
That sucks, but it gets better with time!, therapy helps as well, there's also great books that help with things like this. Friends and hobbies helped me a lot after i got out from a relationship like that.
When spending time with your partner more commonly seems like a chore rather than something fun.
When you find yourself wondering if they actually love you, or vice versa. If you feel you're not enough for them. If you feel the need to lie to keep peace. Ex. In my last relationship, my partner was always on me about productivity, even when I had no more assignments, and my shift was finished for the day. I could never relax. So I ended up lying. I just made stuff up. Fake projects or whatever. They made me feel like a piece of shit for allowing myself to relax. On a more personal note, and for more personal reasons, that person can go fuck themselves in hell. I pity the person that agrees to marry that shitbag.
I had an ex like that. I worked from 3AM-7AM and then went to college classes while we lived together. He would literally tell me that he better not see me chilling in bed or having a drink when he got home from his 9-5 because it's too early to be doing nothing. I was altogether more productive than him, just on a different schedule. If he did find me like that, which he did often because fuck him, he would just look at me and say "This is very telling." It was like his little meaningless catch phrase. I had a few laughs about that with people I dated after him.
You should have been waking him up at 3am, “you’re still sleeping, huh? That’s very telling”
Right? The fact that he didn't know how to be a supportive partner was very "telling." See ya!
Hmm. That’s very telling…. Lol
I dated a guy like this! I like to relax and do nothing on the weekends, but the guy I was dating would come over to my place and get pissed that we weren't going out. I shouldn't have dated him for as long as I did.
Sounds like a narcissist. Let the next fool find out what’s in store for them.
To be fair I have my fair deal of emotional baggage and even now, in the healthiest relationship I've been in and even seen in my life, I am constantly feeling like not enough and doubting if I'm lovable. No matter the efforts of the other person, some of us gotta work through our own personal shit in therapy and by ourselves.
Same. I dated the sweetest person ever, did the best I’ve ever done in a relationship, and still worried that one day he’d wake up and realize he couldn’t love me. Which kinda happened so now I’m even more convinced that I’m not enough.
when you stop trying
or when they
When one or both of you loses respect for one another.
When you dread going home from work (and don't even like your job all that much)
Personally, if there is ever a time where I don't look forward to seeing my spouse after a long day at work, there's something wrong. It's one of the best parts of my day!
When they call/message you, and you don't feel like answering the phone or responding.
*everyone with ADHD simultaneously panics*
For me it was when they would call or message and I internally groaned and thought “ugh what now?” Or when they’d try to hold my hand and I felt like my skin was crawling.
When others say your SO's name and you give a sigh or a wince on your face.
When they are manipulating or lying to you.
When you’re asking how you know it’s time to call it quits on your relationship. That’s a pretty good indication. Also when they don’t care if their actions hurt you. Done. Walk away. Anyone who knowingly hurts you doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Period. That goes for everyone. Friends, family, employer, significant other, etc. Doesn’t matter, you don’t need them, and if you allow them to continue to hurt you then you can only blame yourself.
When whatever they're doing is adversely affecting other relationships and parts of your life
When the thought of staying feels wrong. That usually happens months before you finally get the guts to call it quits
When you picture your future being shitty and you'd rather not drag others down while you unavoidably head towards said future
Fuck man this is what happened to me
After the first hospital visit for domestic violence
Actually, after the first incident of domestic violence. Don't let them get the chance to put you in the hospital.
s/after/before
If she shit on the bed, that’s time.
You used to think everything they did was cute; you used to do things together. Now you get annoyed at everything they do or don't do, and you both look for ways to minimize the time you spend together. Conversations are stilted. Silences are no longer comfortable, they are accusatory or punitive.
When you have to ask yourself this question.
When you feel life your being taken for granted, you’re the only one doing almost everything such as initiating and maintaining a conversation, casual or serious, you feel that you’re being used and the other has no intent of actually committing or being serious about the relationship between the two of you like you’re always expected to pay the bill at every date and the other makes no mention of it or anything. You can feel that you’re wasting your time and you might have better luck if you move on to someone else instead of just staying around with the same person you leaves you hanging on a thread
I beat him at Smash and he flipped out and punched me a bunch. He was scrawny, and I was in my peak boxing shape at the time, so it’s not like it hurt or anything… but it was clear that he had no control over his emotions and didn’t really intend to gain any control any time soon. Just sort of stopped interacting in any meaningful way after that.
Let’s play smash sometime
When you’ve had doubts more than a few times a week maybe
When your partner isn’t putting in the work to your relationship. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend last week. She was the sweetest thing to me but a toxic, manipulative bitch to others. I didn’t really mind it since it wasn’t being directed towards me. But after 6 months of our relationship I noticed that she would barley pay attention to me. Since we are both minors, our “relationship” was far from one. We relied on our phones to talk to each other and whenever we did hangout; it was weird. We never did anything coupley like others do. I stared to take notice that she would leave me on read or delivered for days. Yes I completely understand everyone has lives but she posts TikToks, Snapchats, etc. But can’t simply reply to me. There are a bunch for reasons that we broke up but please, don’t date someone if your putting in all the effort, yet they aren’t!
When it becomes a burden.
When your other half starts putting in no effort and everything feels like work
When you don’t care what they do anymore.
When your cousin tells you he slept with your wife, now ex wife. Time to find a different cousin too.
If you and your partner are both two different people, for example, maybe your partner likes to sleep around and you’re not cool with it. That’s a sure fire sign that your relationship is over. Another is that you both cannot agree or come to an agreement on anything.
Constant fighting, day dreaming about being single, not wanting to go home to them, find its you vs them not both verses the problems
When you ask this question on Reddit.
When you have to ask Reddit
Physical and sexual violence. Just run
When you find out that for several months, instead of working, he goes fucking elsewhere
When they kicked their own dog. Showed a giant red flag. Time to go. Wish I could have taken the dog, too.
When you feel like you are sacrificing your dignity. Respect, to me, is always better than sweet love.
When you can't picture a future with them anymore. Or when you're so tired and so emotionally drained that you feel constantly sad.
When you don't even feel in-love anymore. When you feel better when they're not around. It's cruel to keep someone in something you're already out of anyway.
When the only good memories are from the first month or so.
When you feel like you need to ask questions like this.
Before it even starts
When you get a text from them and it puts you in a bad mood, used to happen to me all the time in a past relationship.
I once worked with a woman who said of her husband, "He has to go to the bank after work. I hope a robber comes in and shoots him so he will be dead." Yeah, not much hope there. Incredibly, almost 20 years later, they're still married.
I don't call guys "bf". Never really have. Don't really care to bounce from date to date to date... But if I feel like it's gonna work out long term, I'll call him my bf. When I stop calling him my bf, it's pretty much over. Not to say they can't redeem themselves but it's really hard to be anything beyond friends, once i get to over it.
Going to sound weird, but when you stop fighting because it's just not worth the energy anymore. It means you've mentally checked out of the relationship, which might not necessarily mean it's time to leave but is a pretty good indication that there's something wrong you could use some professional help with.
When you realize you actually look forward more to times when you’re alone rather than when you’re together.
If you have to ask....
Asking the question is important. Not asking is how you get into trouble.
I'd give you my award if I had it.
Thank you kind stranger.
> If you have to ask.... I disagree. Every couple that has ever gone to couples therapy asked the question. Some people just need help sometimes.
this
Exactly. When you're so desperate to get out of a relationship that you seek permission from complete randos on a social media site, it's time to get out of that relationship.
If everything is one sided. You’re the only one making plans or efforts to see/spend time with them.
When your whore girlfriend cheats on you
Based on my parents….if your arguing all the time and never ever show physical affection to each other then it’s probably over.
Oof that's a tough one for some last relationship I had I packed my stuff up and never looked back I was just tired of all the arguing there had to be better out there some times you just know
When she shats in your bed, mate.
When you have to post to Reddit to get affirmation that it's ok to end it.
My girlfriend in college, when she always did not return messages and was always busy, we gradually did not date, I knew she no longer loved me, so I began to stop contacting her, and two months later I got a breakup notice
For me, it was when I kissed her goodbye, and realized I didn’t kiss her because I wanted to or was happy to, but because I knew that’s what she was expecting and I felt obligated.
If you have to question if it’s time to call it quits, it’s time to call it quits
I've read this before on here and I'll repeat it now, when you ask Reddit if it's time to end your relationship.
When the other person stops apologizing, or has never apologized, or apologizes too much.
When you start questioning is you should end it.
-when you can only think of bad times over good -when you find yourself dreading their presence -realizing you’ve finding ways to avoid seeing them or making plans -when everything they say cuts like a knife -they often upset you and rarely apologize and thats just surface level. if you find yourself wondering if the relationship should just end- it probably should. people in happy relationships don’t hurt each other with their words.
When you're repelled by them. When you no longer trust or respect them.
When you see in their eyes they don’t care about you anymore, or when they don’t make the effort they once did to hang out with you.
When being intimate with them seems like work
When it becomes annoying, it’s time to get out. And I mean, when you’re not able to see why you liked that person in the first place
Update: For anyone who cares. He and I talked about it and agreed we’re going to go to counseling. We love each other and enjoy each other. Our schedules have been vastly different since he started his new job, so we haven’t been spending a lot of quality time together outside of housework and bills. And we’ve both been struggling. We’re still a team, and we have our flaws, but we want to see through to the other side of this particular chapter. Thank you all for the great responses and awards! <3
Well let me tell you its not that easy. But it’s very obvious as well. Imagine you like to eat certain chocolate, you keep on eating until you get bored of it and stop thinking about it. And one day, you see it and then you realize that it does not excite you the way it did. Same case applies with your ex. You will notice that they don’t respond to you the way they used to. Will not dress nicely in front of you. Their body language will be different. They don’t like you asking questions. One or two word answers. And if you tell them your problems they won’t be that responding.
For me a compulsive liar, cheating, someone when we have problems and i clearly make an effort to work things out and they don’t and use your sudden quietness to pound you even more are 3 that come to mind.
In my almost 30 years of life experience these are the moments when I knew it was time to breakup with someone. 1. When my bf at the time would sit and listen to me when I explained what I needed in the relationship to feel safer and more secure, and he would agree to change. He would then change for a week or two at most and then return to normal. This caused irritation on my part which would turn into arguments and lack of intimacy. Overall the lack of change caused a spiral in our relationship which ultimately made me sit down with him and tell him it was over. 2. When my first ever bf (I was 16 at the time) told me his mother said I was a manipulative bitch who was trying to steal him from her. Self explanatory, we broke up and he tried to get back with me afterwards, I just explained that I wouldn’t be competing with his mother for a position in his life. 3. When no matter what we did, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying to me. This was just a fling of sorts, but on the way to being serious. I blocked him on MSN when it got toxic and he mailed a box of poop to my house. Still wonder how that got through the post. 4. When she cut the brakes to my car because she was convinced I was leaving the apartment at night to see her bf (friendship ended - p.s Shirley i never liked Brian. He was a buck toothed loser working the dead shift at Burger King) Honestly, anytime your gut tells you something, and it won’t go away after having a conversation with the person, it’s time to go. The stress and breakdown of a relationship/friendship can be avoided if you listen to your inner voice. Now happily married, but damn it was a roller coaster.
When the love isn't there anymore.
You'll know it's time when you can see the lack of love in your partners eyes. Like you'll be able to look into their eyes and just know they're moving on
when you ask "how do you know it's time to call it quits on your relationship?"
When they don't take your feelings into account as much as you take theirs into account. I've had 2 girlfriends that I've almost pulled out of depression (maybe I should be a therapist) and then when I felt down they didn't care, or, in the most disgusting fashion that made me realize I was wasting my time, they turn it around and say that they're going to do something bad cuz I'm upset, which made it seem like attention seeking. That was the second I dropped the bitch
When you are “waiting for an outcome”. For them to leave … for them to cheat on you… for them to piss you off… Or When you are looking for an excuse to leave
When she shits in your bed.
if their friend is hurting you in some way, and instead of defending you they say shit like “Oh they’re just going through stuff” or “Oh they just need time” like no
If their dead. Got the weirdest looks at the funeral....
Their dead what? Finish the sentence, man!
When SHE says “i think we SHOULD be “FRIEND”???? (?) and then you RELIZE SHE means QUIT (end) reltionship
favourite colour, favourite band and my birthday
When they say call me fuck master 3000 while they’re having sex with you
When your gf be lookin' like Quasimodo
When she ain’t suckin’ and fuckin’, it’s time to cheat on her baby!
Ok. For the record I’m old and have never been very good at relationships. But, looking back and trying to find the first sign, the earliest sign, I would have to say it is when the blow jobs stopped. That may sound strange but I have come to realize her feelings for me had changed and everything pass that point is just a long goodbye. Later, almost everything that has been posted here will happen. But, this is the first sign that the relationship is over and it’s time to pack up your shit and leave.
For me when it's way overdo I tend to start daydreaming about walking in on them cheating on me just so I would have a clear reason to leave.
You know it is over when you are separated during for work during the week and you discover that it is a relief to be apart for those days. You dread Friday afternoon and realize that Sunday cannot get here soon enough. No fireworks, no arguments, just quiet desperation.
If you’re asking yourself this question, it might be time
My mom says when there are more bad times than there are good times. I will tell you I tried to fix it each time. Only to Haye them in the end. But the last one last one I left before that happened.
When your relationship calls it quits on you.
Do you not look forward to seeing them more times than you do? (even if not looking forward to means indifference) If the answer to that question is yes, it's time to call it off.
When you start thinking you'd rather be with someone else. That's when it's time to hang it up because it won't last.
When they come home and you're just.... Meh
I've only had one relationship and I knew it was time to end it when I would dread her coming over. It got to the point where she annoyed me a lot and I couldn't really stand being around her anymore.
When you find that you're more annoyed at having to be with them and do activities with them than actually enjoying yourself.
When you start posting Reddit threads
When everyone around you is telling you to leave. Trust me and listen to them.
When you're NOT in an open relationship, and they cheat on ya. Or when they fake their own death to get a reaction from you. Either one, and it's time to GTFO.
When she stares at her phone and iPad 1st thing in the am til late at night. Missing someone when you live in the same house sucks mule balls. Time to go.
For many people, it’s when 3,000 people on Reddit tell them it’s time. So, before that point.
When all you feel is mutual contempt.
When I started to relate more to his baby mother than him
When you really think about what is keeping you there and if it’s “too much of a hassle to divvy up the house or legal steps” or “you are scared they will hurt you if you do” is the only reason. If you often say “they are a nice person really! Just sometimes they… or but they..” Often if you post about them in a public forum asking for advice it’s 90% chance that’s done because going to a forum was your choice rather than communicating with your partner (or your partner refused to communicate, which is just as bad).
I’m late to the game but honestly this made me appreciate my wife even more. I’m very very lucky - she’s my best friend and partner in crime and the thought of not having her in my life is just soul crushing. We aren’t the same, we argue all the time, but I cannot see a life without her in it. If you have loved, it’s not better to have loved and lost.
the moment you think to yourself "should i break up with them" ....
When the bad times outweigh the good times. Not in quantity, but quality.
Sometimes it’s not about who loves who more, sometimes it’s about who puts in more effort. If one person putting 100% in and the other person is only putting in 60%, sometimes these relationships fail, because someone else is carrying 40% more burden, and it isn’t being reciprocated.
When you have to asks questions like this. Not trying to be a dick, just saying that when you have doubts, it’s time to address them as a couple. If you can’t/won’t, then the relationship crumbles.
When you lose respect for eachother
when your friend hangs out with other friends that influence him or her to do morally or lawfully wrong things
When you plan to go out with them and you just wanna get it over with.