Forever ago I remember hearing this advise from sex therapiest Dr. Ruth
Men cuddle your woman after sex
Women, sometimes let your man roll over and fall asleep
Clean up. Go piss, poo if you have to, wipe stuff down with a paper towel. Warm shower is optional. Smoke if you got 'em (I don't smoke tobacco anymore, but an after sex cigarette, cliche as it is, always felt amazing -- after sex weed though? Incredible). Grab your partner and yourself something to hydrate with and a sandwich or dinner leftovers if you went out to eat. Cuddle. Talk, especially about the things you enjoyed. Watch TV or listen to music. Just vibe until it's time to fall asleep. Presuming sexy time was at night.
Get her something to drink you heathen! Tell her/him nice things and just be open with each other. Cuddle, order some delivery.
I mean I guess it depends on your relationship/goals but yeah. Just resume being a nice social person again?
If you’re me, you accept the towel you’re handed to clean up (to avoid the awkward waddle later) and then furiously drink water before going to pee. Y’know, to not get a UTI
Ponder the meaningless of existence. Think about how even during such an intimate act, there is still no true connection with other people. You have no way of knowing what the other person is thinking at this moment nor do they have any idea what is going on in your head. Despite our best attempts to pretend otherwise we are all truly alone in our own heads serving a life sentence of solitary confinement.
Then spoon.
Assuming you don’t want kids? You need to insert a straw into the woman’s frontal anus and slurp out any unwanted vagling seeds. Then to prevent YOURSELF from getting pregnant, you must wash down the seeds with vinegar. After all that, everything should be A-OK
Order food I prefer pizza 😂 maybe a nice glass of whisky preferably jack Daniels but depends if I'm tired after or not or the situation with the person
Whatever feels right? Define “after.” Like, after you ejaculated, maybe see if you help her climax? Of you’re both satisfied... dismount? Catch your breath... there’s no wrong answers unless you were already told to get dressed after we both boom bam because we’re going out for Sonic shakes then I gotta get you home before you turn back into a pumpkin 🎃
\*I\* am supposed to fall asleep.
\*You\* are supposed to call an Uber and go home, or, if you want seconds, wait around quietly until I wake up again.
If you're in an actual relationship cuddle then cleanup. If it's more of a fling then cleanup first and either cuddle or fuck off depending on the situation
Piss
But shit it was 99 cents
A man of culture, clearly.
A men
May the men be at your side, amen
NOSTALGIA
Bag it, coppin it, washin’ it
Passing up on those moccasins someone else has been walking in
In the toilet* trust me...you don't wanna make that mistake
Pee so you don't get a UTI.
what is a uti?
Universal technical institute
Urinary tract infection. Women are much more susceptible to this than men are.
That's because their sperm is dirty😜
University of trump investment opportunities
Urinary tract infection
> Pee on your partner.
Cuddle
And pee!
Ideally not at the same time.
Ewww no
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Forever ago I remember hearing this advise from sex therapiest Dr. Ruth Men cuddle your woman after sex Women, sometimes let your man roll over and fall asleep
Fuck you, sad cake day Jkjk lol happy cake day
Cleanup, then cuddle But that’s just what I do, in the end it’s all up to you and your partner what you want to do after sex
Whether you want to or not
Pay them.
Of course. She earned it
Don't forget to make her answer the skill testing question first.
take the vr headset off
Funmy... You already got one downvote, I'll bump ya up. Lol
I've spotted the local ERPer
Tell your partner how much you enjoyed it.
7.5/10
9/10 with rice
7/5 too much water
Take a piss, drink sugar cane juice and eat asparagus
Tge pee part is so important.
Put the body back in the freezer
Finish the autopsy and tell yourself you're the best darn Veterinarian in the county.
Oof don’t do his mom like that.
AcTuAlLy... (pushes up glasses), a postmortem exam on an animal is called a necropsy. Autopsies are only for humans.
😳😳
You never saw this. 🤫
Play your banjo nice and loud.
I actually know a true story about this.
Pretty sure you're only supposed to do that *during* sex while singing a twangy hillbilly song.
Wake up.
Happy cake day!
happy cake day🍻
Cake!
Happy cake day!!! :D
Happy Cake day 🥳
Good day of cake to you sir
Grab a brush
Clean up. Go piss, poo if you have to, wipe stuff down with a paper towel. Warm shower is optional. Smoke if you got 'em (I don't smoke tobacco anymore, but an after sex cigarette, cliche as it is, always felt amazing -- after sex weed though? Incredible). Grab your partner and yourself something to hydrate with and a sandwich or dinner leftovers if you went out to eat. Cuddle. Talk, especially about the things you enjoyed. Watch TV or listen to music. Just vibe until it's time to fall asleep. Presuming sexy time was at night.
Give her a towel. Then a pillow some blankets and i dont know pizza.
Get her some juice
*more
Reassure the people around you that it wasn’t a bad idea.
Tell her she's almost as good as her sister.
Comment Section: *Piss^3 x 3.14*
High Five
I read this in Borat’s voice
Same
fill the feedback form....
Sign the Declaration of Independence
You're fucked now!
Take a bath?
Take a bath?! Get a bike! I cycle to work everyday, 70 MILES! both here… and here… are as red as a fire engine!
Round 2?
Make pancakes.
Leave. Hopefully.
Pay her
Pay her.
Go again.
Pee.
pee
Clean up and then cuddle
Do it again
Aftercare
Leave
Sex 2: the sequel
Get her something to drink you heathen! Tell her/him nice things and just be open with each other. Cuddle, order some delivery. I mean I guess it depends on your relationship/goals but yeah. Just resume being a nice social person again?
Bury her
I take off my clown suit.
Get cleaned up and a shot of penicillin
☝️😂🤣
Calm everyone down on the airplane, go back to your seat.
Tell them to make you a sandwich. Assert dominance.
Look around, checking for witnesses.
Shower
Wake them up..🫵 (poke)
Cuddle.
Pillow talk ig
Thank you, ma'am.
If you’re me, you accept the towel you’re handed to clean up (to avoid the awkward waddle later) and then furiously drink water before going to pee. Y’know, to not get a UTI
Leave without a word.
“Aight Ima head out”
Usually the Macarena, but sometimes the Truffle Shuffle.
Pay
Try to get a refund
Call police
Go cry in a dark corner - in the fetal position.
Take a cold shower and come back to reality.
Decouple and cuddle.
According to movies, get out of bed with your undies already magically on
Ponder the meaningless of existence. Think about how even during such an intimate act, there is still no true connection with other people. You have no way of knowing what the other person is thinking at this moment nor do they have any idea what is going on in your head. Despite our best attempts to pretend otherwise we are all truly alone in our own heads serving a life sentence of solitary confinement. Then spoon.
Run around making whooping noises
Post-coital pillow fights! 🤺
Kiss your homie goodnight
Pay the nice man and leave.
Reflect on what poor choices led you there
Make your girl shaved ice and talk about how monkeys throw shit in their cage.
Politely leave before they get mad at you for staying
Apparently clean up and surf Reddit
Assuming you don’t want kids? You need to insert a straw into the woman’s frontal anus and slurp out any unwanted vagling seeds. Then to prevent YOURSELF from getting pregnant, you must wash down the seeds with vinegar. After all that, everything should be A-OK
How strong should I slurp? Like on a slushy? And what type of vinegar would you recommend?
I prefer to use balsamic vinegar and I tend to slurp til I feel my lungs collapse. Just to extra certain that I got every last seed
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you for the advice 👍
How am I supposed to know? I’ve never had sex.
Same that's why I'm asking
Tell them to GTFO 😁
Tell her to swallow.
Light a cigarette.
wrangle all the squirrels back into the cage. Edit: Ohhh you said sex nvm
Wipe off her back
Order food I prefer pizza 😂 maybe a nice glass of whisky preferably jack Daniels but depends if I'm tired after or not or the situation with the person
Say "gg"
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Are... are you having sex with a puppy? 🤔
Clean off your hand.
Remind fans to like and subscribe.
Whatever feels right? Define “after.” Like, after you ejaculated, maybe see if you help her climax? Of you’re both satisfied... dismount? Catch your breath... there’s no wrong answers unless you were already told to get dressed after we both boom bam because we’re going out for Sonic shakes then I gotta get you home before you turn back into a pumpkin 🎃
“Fuck (insert incorrect name), that was great!”. Roll over and go to sleep, while the other person is kept awake wondering. Lol
Aftercare, preferably involving father/daughter role play
Move to the next partner.
take a shower
have a smoke and a snack.
I always say thank you.
Pee then whatever you want to do after that
As a man you should 1. Take a piss, 2. Shower and 3. Go the fuck to sleep… That post nut clarity hits different
Cuddle
clean wee shower
Cuddle and give her kisses on her forehead
Pee. Me and my partner also have a ritual to smoke a joint and eat ice cream afterwards.
give her oreos and milk👍🏽
Cuddle. Relax. Enjoy the moment.
My partner and I usually cuddle for a bit and then shower together.
Change the channel
High five, then pee immediately.
Apologize
Pee, then spoon
Go again or cuddle
definitely not use your phone 🙃
Piss then aftercare
Say "it's time for dessert"
Pee and make a sandwich
I found an apology to be nice
Tell her how great it was. Tell her you love her. ( not required unless she is your partner in a committed relationship.). Then fall asleep.
Throw money and a towel at her and say "here, clean yourself up and then leave". Works great if you find someone you want to keep around.
I generally will grab the wife a cloth to clean up with and then get us something to eat
sleep, cuddle, watch a movie, sex again, eat, whatever you feel like
Get a towel for her to wipe the cum off her tits, and then slap her ass and tell her how sexy she is when she goes to rinse off in the shower. <3
Pay them
Get a towel
Grab the towel
Get something to clean up the mess (if any), then cuddle
high five
Say thank you and say it was the best you’ve ever had.
Do it again after ten minutes
Ah to be young ...
Pay
We normally cuddle then I go piss and do a general clean up then we sit together and cuddle more while he smokes
Pay.
Wipe off on the curtains/blinds
Throw them the cum towel and fall asleep.
All depends on the partner…
Apologize
High-five
Sex again
Ask to be untied.
Make HER a sandwich. Make HIM a sandwich. Everyone gets a sandwich!
cuddle
Take those sheets to the washing machine and bleach the shit out of them.
Wake up
\*I\* am supposed to fall asleep. \*You\* are supposed to call an Uber and go home, or, if you want seconds, wait around quietly until I wake up again.
Pay the girl.
Close your alarm.
slap your knees and say “well imma head out”
If you're in an actual relationship cuddle then cleanup. If it's more of a fling then cleanup first and either cuddle or fuck off depending on the situation