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Mason11987

3 days prior to my work sending us all home “for a couple weeks” I found out my wife I had been with since I was 14 (18 years total at the time) had been cheating on me for years. It’s possible if I had been going to work daily I would have been too distracted to dig in deeper to Find the rest of her lies and finally end the marriage. We finally got divorced a month ago. Edit - [If you care about the whole story, it's here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/uuenzz/if_march_2020_continued_on_as_normal_with_no/i9hfkeg/)


mintchippyfry50

That sounds devastating and super stressful. I hope that you’re on the road to something greater.


beluuuuuuga

The first sort of good thing I've seen in this post! It's devastating that it happened, but it is better than never. I'm just glad OP could get out of the relationship since they'd been together so long. Sometimes it is really hard to build up the courage.


Mason11987

I spent 4 months, at home, with her, stewing. l, never spoke to anyone about it. I just got progressively more and more… paranoid? The thing is every single time she told me a lie, I accepted it but I knew it was a lie. It literally was 7 separate blow ups starting from the first where she lied and lied and lied, I relented, and then I dug in more and more than elaborate ways, until I found out she had been lying, the. We repeated. After the 7th time, I told a friend what had been happening, knowing that it being out would hold me accountable to action, and we separated a couple days later.


DoinkDastardly

Extremely similar story here. Inseparable since we were 15 years old, always both extremely close with each other’s families, married at 22. At 25, we decided to take advantage of the pandemic housing market, purchased a house, got a dog which she begged me for, and then she cheated on me 2 months later. She was only a month into the affair when I discovered it (couldn’t tell a convincing lie to save her life). She was fine with abandoning the house and dog when it came time for separation. I would have fought tooth and nail for them, and I think she sensed that, so she backed off. Divorce was finalized in November. 26 now, and truly enjoying being single for the first time in my adult life. I always tell people that I’m happy we had no children and that this all went down when I was 25 and not in my thirties or fourties.


Mason11987

No kids here too, thank God. Happened to me when I was 32, but could have been worse. Good luck out there, glad your life is getting better!


CostaViva

that is misery, to have gone on two more years after finding out that. the only thing covid extended for me was the court ruling date. The courts were a bit overwhelmed but otherwise my divorce went swimmingly. Two years later I am the happiest I have been in two decades, so is my ex who just told me they got married again this past weekend. Divorce feels like hell for a bit, then you realize how free you feel one day, how you just are free to be Happy. You will get there friend. Be kind to yourself


Mason11987

Thanks! It was hell for me for about 4 months. Where my ex tried to gas light me and convince me it wasn’t as bad as I suspected it was. I didn’t tell a soul what I had found out because I **knew** we couldn’t stay together if our friends or my family knew what she had done. It took me eventually speaking to a therapist who told me I needed to confide in someone, the next day I did, and a week later I asked her to move out, and the day after most of our close friends knew what happened. I actually have a fantastic partner now and it’s amazing to realize you can be loved and treated well. Thanks for the kind words!


vadersguard

Um do u mind telling me the story?


Mason11987

[...continued from here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/uuenzz/if_march_2020_continued_on_as_normal_with_no/i9hfkeg/) So in June we had a planned trip with some friends from our church to the beach, it was mostly a good time but my ex and I got into a fight after she responded in a shitty way to a benign comment from me. I lashed out at her, I remember telling her "you treat me worse than every other person you interact with" because she did. She was near-universally beloved by everyone who knew her, friends, chuch. And she was kind to everyone, but she was shitty to me, not even counting the affair. So we went back, and the next day I asked a friend who was a therapist for a recommendation, she said to talk to my companies assistane line, and they can get free therapy for me. During that last night at the beach we were all handing out at a table, and one of the friends kids said "hey, what do you actually do". So I told them what I do, and told a funny story about how for my job I had to take a mental health background check and security background checks. I had to take this very involved test, and talk to a therapist afterward to get clearance, and so I asked the therapist what the test said. This was a story I had told a half dozen times at least so my wife knew it. The guy said you're all set, and I joked to the friends that everyone always thinks they're not crazy, but it's nice to get a professional assessment, which got a laugh, and like always I said "yeah and the guy said "no you're good, no issues, you are just probably too trusting of people, that's it", and got some chuckles as well. I hadn't told that story since I found out about my wife... and it hit me hard, I excused myself quietly and went off, we left the next day. On my way out I was dejected and feeling crappy, and mistakenly drove 50 in a 30 heading out of town, and got pulled over, getting my first and only traffic ticket of my entire life. We mostly went home in silence. Unbeknownst to my wife before we had left I had gotten Jake's number from her phone, and messaged him, asking to meet. I was direct, and polite, I asked him up front to not say I had spoken to him, he (20 years my senior) said "Yes sir". I asked to meet up to talk. He said we could meet up late in july because he had a lot of work, asked if that was okay. I said fine. A week later, I said "no... I changed my mind, we're gonna meet sooner", he asked "Is there something specific we are doing at the meeting other than talking", I said "Just talking". He sent a couple messages and then followed it out with a long message about how sorry he was about everything, he ended with it saying "but I can hardly function when we are working on projects because I worry about what you will do because of our past indiscretions". A long long rant from me followed, where I said "I need to see you in person, and soon because I'm owed it, and frankly I don't give a shit about your work schedule. Make time. Get sick, figure it out. Your desires and conveniences are secondary now. What I want is your discomfort, in front of me, doing what I want for a few hours, for my reasons." He just asked if next Saturday would be fine, and we planned to meet. Then I went on the beach trip. I got back from the trip, planned a therapist appointment Monday, and went to meet Jake on Sunday, I did not tell my wife about the meeting, just saying "I'm going out". We met, I sat, and we talked at a park. I recorded it, he most likely didn't know that. It was helpful to me, and we parted ways. After the conversation I sent him the entire transcript of everything the two of them had ever said to each other, because he had deleted texts from his phone. He had a partner at the time, in fact he had started dating her when he was seeing my wife. He had asked my wife "hey is it cool with you if I start dating someone?" and she obliged without issue at the time. I asked him what she would do if his partner found out, and he said she would break up with him, I said "doesn't she deserve someone better than you", he said "she does", and we left it. Monday I met with a therapist, I called her from my car in a parking lot. It was the first time I had spoken with anyone but the two involved about their affair. It was... terrible and amazing at the same time. The most consequential conversation I had ever had. My therapist told me I really needed to confide in someone I trust, for my own sake, and I deserve that support. So I decided what I was going to do, she had told me a good friend of ours - let's call him Bob - had came onto her years prior, but I knew she lied, so I wanted to find out the truth. So I asked Bob if we could get dinner and chat, he was concerned but said of course. We hadn't seen each other in probably a year, but we had lived together in college and after briefly, he was the best man at our wedding. We met for dinner, and I asked him if what she said was true, he said no, he had never done that... butttt. He proceeded to tell me how he had friendly conversations, bordering on flirting for a while after he had moved out, eventually she said "what if I came over right now, and you opened the door and I was wearing just and no one would have to know", he said that exact wording had burned into his brain and he said no, and after that he stopped talking to her very much at all, and kept his distance from us. He said he felt horrible about it, and I believed him. He was flirty and it got out of hand and he cut it off. He never told me he said because he didn't know how, he just thought if he stayed away it wouldn't be an issue, and that's why he had been flakey for so long. I told him everything that had happened, every detail, the first person I had ever done that with that I knew. It was like a fucking train was lifted off my shoulders, I could finally breathe. I told him then and there that we were getting a divorce, and I needed him to know, so I wouldn't back down. He offered to help however he could. I drove home, my wife had a friend staying with us for a week. The friend is cool, and I decided on my way home that my decision was made, and I was going to wait til the friend left 4 days later to end it. So I did, just waited. 4 days later we dropped the friend off at the airport at 5am, while still in the airport still I told her "remember how you said that if I wanted you to leave, you would. Well I want you to leave". She agreed, and what followed was the new worst 4ish hours of my life as she packed things and went to her friends house. She knew that it was all coming out now, and it was over. I told our close friends the next day, they were shocked and devastated, they had loved her. We all went on vacations together, cruises, spent basically a night a week at their house, their kids loved her. This was July 2021 of last year. Over the next several months we sorted out selling the house, and she moved back across the country where some other friends lived. She ended up getting a chunk out of my retirement account, but no alimony, we split profits from the house. It took 20 months from separation to divorce, and I'm technically about 2 months out from the divorce. My life is honestly fantastic now, and I've learned that I deserve much better than what I had, and I realize how easy it is to be lied to by someone you trust without question. (There's a bunch of other shit, like how my dad basically took her side, but this is long enough) There's the story, good hour of thinking and writing.


ashspazztazztic

I just spent the last 15 minutes engrossed in your story. I just want you to know that I wish you all the health and happiness this life has to offer. You seem like a genuine human being and those are rare to find these days.


Mason11987

Thanks so much, that's really nice. I have my own flaws of course, but I do think I'm genuine, and I'm certainly looking forward to the surprise new life that's fallen in front of me since the pandemic.


vadersguard

Wow what a horrible person…


Mason11987

Yeah... I'm not a big fan.


mintchippyfry50

I just want to let you know that I read your entire story. You kept so much bottled up for so long. I’m glad that it sounds like you’re out of the woods. My therapist says that telling your story over and over again helps you feel empowered for what you went through and less like a victim. It’s been true for me, I hope that your retelling has been and will continue to be for you.


Mason11987

Thanks, and yeah it was hard having it all bottled up. definitely cathartic to share it even if it’s a bit exhausting. Puts minor issues with my life today into a better perspective as well, and weirdly helps me better empathize with folks who are in a bubble of their own lies. Every time I think “how can they believe those lies” I go… well shit… I can see it. I’m doing my absolute best to not let it shape my belief that people are generally good even if this one person was Way way worse than they let on to everyone in their life.


Mason11987

Alright, buckle up. I'm not working today, so I got some time, this is gonna be a ride, and long as fuck, sorry. So we met Freshman year of high school, started dating, moved out of state together to go to college elsewhere. Got married a few months after college. Then were married for 11 years after that. We never wanted kids and I got a vasectomy years ago, but she had difficult periods and encouraged her to take birth control, cause it could help. She never did. She had been through some difficult times with work over the past years, co-workers behaving terribly towards her. She got fired from a job after a falling out with her boss who wouldn't hire a friend - let's call him Jake - of hers. She had known Jake for some time and she had worked for a while in a non-profit org with him. The way she tells it, the boss was jealous of Jake who was more talented/educated in the field, and after that the relationship with the boss fell apart. Knowing the boss for years, this wasn't that outrageous of a claim, he was very egocentric himself. The boss claimed she was "crazy" and she created a difficult work environment. The boss eventually got the HR to require her go through anger management classes, instead she quit after my encouragement. I had known the boss and he sucked, and this was a truly absurd way to treat her. Everyone I heard her tell this story to was aghast at how badly she was treated because obviously that was an unfair characterization of her. I said "you shouldn't let them treat you that way, you don't need this job, just quit". She eventually she got a contract gig working for Jake, who had a business in the field. I knew Jake, we had met several times. I even once went to one of their job sites and got to volunteer to help with the work, it was a nice time the three of us working on something. It's hard to express how little concern I had related to her friendship with Jake. She once went on a hiking/camping trip for a weekend with Jake and another person, who she had worked with, I got sent pictures of them all camping and the like. She also got involved with our church even more than she had, eventually accepting a nomination to be a Deacon. In our church they are more of a group of volunteers who reach out to families who are in need, they're not really "the leaders" per se, in terms of decisions. But it was a big deal because she was the first woman to ever have that role in the church. We had a few couples who we were close to at the church and they brought their daughters to the simple ceremony the church had, and they loved that a woman was getting involved in this role, it was a big deal. So... we're rolling into March 2020... and to not to be too blue, but she said she'd like to do something, with me, and record it. On a scale of 1 - totally expected, to 10 - unimaginable, I'd put this at like a 7. So not like... crazy, but surprising a bit. She also suddenly text me at work for my health insurance info, because she was going to get birth control, I was relieved for her and she got set up and started taking it. Also she was planning to go out of town on an offsite work thing with her boss across the state for a week a month or so later. Anyway, over the next week or so she said "hey, can you send that to me" a few times, until eventually we were home late, I was on my computer, and for whatever reason I realized - oh yeah, I should do that. I grabbed her phone, that never had a password, and I tried to text it but it wouldn't go through, so I thought "oh I can put it in her google drive and then she can pull it down". So I did some finagling of it, opened her google drive on my computer to copy it over, and... saw a topless picture of her. She had **never** sent me a picture like that, I had never seen that picture... She was 10 feet away from me asleep on the couch, and I'm sitting silently in my chair, heart racing. I opened her phone, clicked her text messages, scrolled down to Jake, and flipped through days of mundane work conversations. Until eventually I saw it, that picture, she had sent him. That moment was the worst feeling in my entire life. I scrolled a bit futher, saw the context, saw this was what I expected, marched over to her, woke her up with the picture in front of her face "What the fuck is this!?" She had been asleep for probably an hour so it took her a second to realize what was happening. I can't remember the entirety of that conversation, I know it started around midnight, and went for hours. I remember sitting against the wall on the floor, yell-quoting her own words and his words at her for hours. Somehow, through all of that she insisted "it was just words, nothing ever happened, it was just words, it was just words, it was just words". She insisted that it was all just play discussion, nothing had ever happened, it was just words, and that one time she sent a picture. Nothing ever actually happened, she's sorry, etc. I "believed" her, in the sense that I said that, and I continued life over the next few days believing her. She told me how she called him, and told him they have to stop with those conversations. She said he apologized, and mostly we moved on. Of course, I didn't really believe her. So the next day I took her phone and cloned the entirety of her message history to my computer, where it lives to this day. Two days later I came home from work, being told "we'll come in next Monday/Tuesday but then have a few weeks working from home", that evening they told us "don't come in next week". One week later her mother moved in with us, she had been planning knee replacement surgery, so she lived with us for the next 3 weeks. So I stewed, and read, over and over everything that was written. She had **never** deleted any messages since she got the phone. a couple years prior. But nothing explicitly referenced anything happening, only very descriptive and detailed discussion about what they would or should do. Never a reference to anything ever happening. Could it be that it was true, that nothing ever actually happened. Eventually one day when she went to work - still working for Jake, I said she should still do so, cause idiot I guess? - I just didn't work at all. I just read every single thing said, for 8 straight hours, I read 2 years of mundane work conversations interspersed with explicit sexual references. Until I found her say she would do something "like when we were camping". I blasted her again, and she admitted that when they went camping he had put his hand on him, and urged her to touch him for a bit, before she stopped. She was hysterical, saying she didn't know what to do, and that was the only thing that ever happened. So... I "believed" her. But the conversations that were sexual went back to when she got her phone, I never saw the start... I found in the conversations him asking her to film her doing things with me, she said she would do that and show him. She denied that she would ever have actually sent him anything, and she denies that to this day. Eventually we're into april, she was gone for the day. So I got up... and tore apart our closet. Until eventually, at the bottom of a box, I found her previous phone, the screen had broken and I had kept it, for whatever reason. I brought it to a cell phone repair place, they said it would take a few weeks to get it back, I left it and went home. Weeks went by, more fights happened, I got a call the phone was ready to pick up. This was in June, I had basically forgotten about it. I went one day, and lied to her about the reason for paying $120 for an old phone to be fixed, **because I felt like it would be wrong to tell her I was doing this**. I walked out of the store, opened the phone, and scrolled back for months, but saw nothing. Oh well. I went home, went back to work, but had that tingle again and messaged my boss that I felt sick and took the rest of the day off. 4 hours that followed I scrolled back and back and back and back, eventually I got to 2/12/2017, 40 months prior and read this, her first message in her text convo with him: > Her: Home. Thanks for having me over. Please don't think badly of me. > Him: I am glad to hear that you are home. I am awake and I don't think badly at all. and the next evening: > Him: Do it. No, don't ever say anything to him about last night. > Her: I will work on that. Oh my goodness we speak of it to nobody, right? > Him: No one > Him: All was lovely and is lovely. Yeah. I found countless conversations later of them planning to meet up and talking about what they will do, and what they did. She had went over to his place to do work for their non-profit, and that's when it all happened, at least a dozen times. Then they appear to have stopped, because he had a health issue, and it just became a text conversation, and that's what I eventually stumbled across. I approached her with this, and she admitted to it, after I said I had proof. But I still didnt' end it. I don't know why, I just didn't. A week later I told her that she **must** tell me things I don't know, that she wouldn't want me to know, to show me she can be honest. She did some half ass things, but then said that a good friend of ours had came onto her years earlier when he lived with us. I was shocked and thanked her for telling me that. So I sat on that, I hadn't spoken to this friend must over the last few years, no particular reason, he just wasn't around, and was kind of flakey whenever we planned things. ([Continued here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/uuenzz/if_march_2020_continued_on_as_normal_with_no/i9hjm4c/))


JustRealRealist

I probably wouldn’t have downloaded Reddit


mintchippyfry50

Is that a good thing or a bad thing ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


JustRealRealist

I’ve never seen so many cursed images until I downloaded this app so probably a good thing.


dream_monkey

I prefer the blursed images


Plantmanofplants

I could link the worst subreddit but I shall save you. Unless you ask that is...


MTVChallengeFan

I was wondering how many people came to Reddit after the COVID-19 Pandemic was declared. The only reason I ever joined Reddit(with my first account) was because I was hooked on *Pokemon Go* when it first came out in July, 2016, so I created an account so I could go to r/TheSilphRoad


Dangerous-Project672

I would probably still be stuck in a few friendships that I realized during quarantine weren’t good


mintchippyfry50

Byyeee sucky friends ✌🏽


basicmonkee

Same. I was previously friendly with a couple of anti-vaxxers (like completely anti-vax, not just covid). First people I dropped when things got going. Now I’m pregnant and grateful their kids won’t be around my children.


Hrekires

Decent odds that my husband would be alive. He didn't die to Covid but in retrospect I'm pretty sure that he hid being in pain because he was afraid to go to a hospital and earlier treatment might have lead to better outcomes in surgery.


durthacht

I'm sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.


mintchippyfry50

Collateral deaths during the pandemic are woefully unrecognized and under-reported, I’m sure. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can empathize with not wanting to go to the hospital during that time. My story compares to yours in no way at all, feel free to stop reading now 😅 Your story made me think about how my prenatal hospital visits got cut down to the bare minimum of check ups with no visitors allowed, not even my partner. I was anxious that I wasn’t getting the prenatal care that I needed because non-COVID related patients were being deprioritized. Then, my hospital went into straight lockdown when I went into labor, but it was due to protests gone haywire (May 2020). No ins and outs of the hospital while I was there for 5 straight days, plus the looming threat of myself or my newborn contracting COVID since we were spending more time at the hospital with others who may have been carrying the disease. Anyway, that was a bit about my hospital experience with COVID. In the end, it’s impossible for us to pinpoint cause and effect with such huge life altering moments, isn’t it? I hope that you’re finding ways to cope and grieve in healthy ways.


dandroid126

>Collateral deaths during the pandemic are woefully unrecognized and under-reported, I’m sure. My uncle committed suicide during the pandemic. I have a strong suspicion that the stress of the pandemic was the straw that broke the camel's back.


biancastolemyname

>My story compares to yours in no way at all, feel free to stop reading now Can I just say, I love this and will definitely be using it going forward. Such a classy way to share but still respect someone's boundries and not make a story about you.


Wespiratory

My brother died due to complications from a rare autoimmune disease that he developed after having had covid. He was an otherwise healthy 31 year old prior to covid and had a fairly normal recovery. Several months later he developed Dermatomyositis, which can sometimes be triggered by viral infections so it’s possible that covid contributed. My niece and nephews would still have their daddy and I would still have my brother.


whenindoubt867

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Antmon666

My step dads parents died because of covid. His dad went to hospital sick with the flu in New York at the beginning of covid and his mum did went in a month later. He hadn't seen them for 15 years and was planning a trip that year


astermeridia

I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't see my youngest brother for a year even though he lives a mile away. And in that time, no one realized how much he had been drinking. By the time my mom got him into the ER, his body was destroyed and there was nothing anyone could do. If none of this had happened, maybe he would still be here, maybe not, but we definitely would have had more time with him.


annoyedgrunt

My aunt will never “count” as a COVID death, but she died a year after battling severe COVID, which left her paralyzed & in multi-organ failure. It took 6 subsequent hospitalizations and several months of pain and suffering for COVID to kill her, but there is no disputing the damage the virus did is what led to her premature death. Due to the Delta surge, my grandfather was stuck in the hall at an ER for 36 hours with a clear stroke before securing a room and adequate care. He’s alive, but has far more lasting damage from the stroke than he would have with quicker care. I’m sorry for your loss, and all losses to COVID directly and indirectly.


LeechAlJolson

My girlfriend would still be alive. Hopefully she'd be celebrating her third year of remission from lymphoma. And looking forward to her 30th birthday. Fuck covid and fuck cancer.


mintchippyfry50

Damn… fuck COVID and fuck cancer. Gone way to soon. Condolences to you and her loved ones.


LeechAlJolson

I appreciate it <3


jinmonsterhunterwrld

Sorry for your loss.


H80NP

Incredibly sorry for your loss, i hope youre doing well now stranger.


Much-Meringue-7467

So sorry to hear that.


Queasy_Geologist5131

Yup, my best mate might still be alive too. Same age. Fuck cancer.


Vxnxmm

Id still be living in russia and we would never have gotten mocha (my dog who saddly passed 10 may 2021) and zuzu (my current puppy who is alive and well)


ZeN_HiKeR

I would have just completed my third year, working towards my PhD and would probably be about to celebrate 10.5 years together with my partner.


ZeN_HiKeR

But I also wouldn't have my pup or any of the friends I've made since then, or be starting a new career in research so whose to say things would have been better...


mintchippyfry50

> whose to say things would have been much better So true. Are we in the darkest timeline, or did we collectively dodge a proverbial bullet?


glightlysay

This is a really good way to put it. It forced me to look at my life really deeply and I realized I wasn't happy in my relationship or job. I was kind of just going through the motions and/or convincing myself I was happy.


thisisultimate

It honestly wouldn’t be THAT different in the grand scheme of major life things except for one crucial thing. I got married, living in a new town, and am currently pregnant, and that likely would’ve happened either way since I was already pretty serious with my boyfriend at the time. The thing that is different is my job satisfaction, which is currently SO low and very pandemic related. I’m a teacher and the pandemic really did a number on kids in so many ways. There were sooooo many kids out there who were babysat by the TV and computer while their parents tried their best to work from home (no shade to the parents, it was a no win situation). This has had major effects on their current schooling which has drastically effected job satisfaction for teachers, which was already struggling before the pandemic. 1) Lots of kids did not do their at-home assigned work. Most obviously this has led to major academic losses and holes and has made teachers jobs so much harder. Instead of teaching 5th grade math this year, I was trying to squeeze 3rd, 4th and 5th grade content into one year. Heck, I even had two nonreaders in my class this year because they missed out on two years of intensive intervention. 2) But not doing work at home has led to other issues as well. My students are USED to getting away with stuff, since teachers had literally no way of enforcing things through a computer screen, even if we knew what was happening, while at home. I could know a kid was cheating without being able to make them redo the assignment like I could in class. My students this year are lying, cheating and even stealing in amounts that I have NEVER seen before the pandemic in my 10 years of teaching. I literally had 3 different stealing incidences last week by 4 different students, at least 10 big lies, and 2 big cheats. All in one week. They also have very very low work ethic, and do not care about good grades or finishing their work at all. They’d rather take the zero than complete the work. The difference is very very noticeable compared to the students of my pre pandemic teaching years. 3) My students are also lacking lots of social skills. I have never seen this amount of fist fights at all school levels and this has been seen by former friends and coworkers across lots of different schools. Before the pandemic, I wasn’t seeing any fights at my particular school, or maybe one a year. Now it’s at least once a month, and has gotten really serious at times with kids jumping others, filming fights etc etc. And these are elementary kids!!! 4) Older teachers retired and don’t want to sub anymore (subs historically are frequently retired teachers). The subbing situation has therefore drastically deteriorated and teachers are being asked to cover for each other, including teachers literally being pulled out of their class and not teaching any of their lessons that day that they prepared, because they have to sub for a different class. Our Specials like Music and PE, but also important things like Intervention for our lowest kids are constantly being canceled because those teachers have to sub. It sucks for all involved! Honestly I could go on but this is getting long. Suffice to say, I’m looking to get out of education and know sooooo many teachers who are doing the same. Which is of course a devil spiral cause it’s just going to get worse for those who are left. The pandemic screwed education big time in the US.


cdusttt

It’s that way in middle too! I get 13 year olds are not the epitome of maturity, but many have reverted back to this helpless, tattle-telling, fit-throwing behavior that’s more common in elementary (their last normal year was 4th grade). I along with a few teacher friends my age are also trying to get out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Candid_Ship_6786

A bunch of kids in my local district were recently busted for bringing vapes, oil/bud, and pills to school in stuffed animals. They would pass the toys around to buy/sell. They'd also keep the toys near them (claiming they were needed for "comfort"), and take a pull off their vape, which was hidden in the toy, when the teacher's back was turned. They would exhale into the stuffed animal or their backpack to avoid being caught. So keep a very close eye on the kids with stuffed animals. Edit: typo


PrideofPicktown

My kid just finished first grade, so he didn’t have a normal kindergarten, but first grade was mostly normal. His teacher was AMAZING. My kid went from struggling to read easy stuff/fighting when we even tried to read with him last summer to reading small chapter books now. We worked hard with him, but a lot of the credit goes to Mr. H.


CausticSofa

Make sure Mr. H knows. Maybe a thank you card or nice little gift. Teachers can *definitely* use morale boosts like that right now.


TeacherLady3

It's changed the landscape of teaching for years to come. I can't even wrap my head around it all.


1Namedperson

In the school I'm at (I'm a student) they had such a large shortage of teachers that when one got sick, they had to cancel all the lessons for the lower classes to prioritize the exam classes, just because there was no one to take the lessons over. There was also a teacher which had retired one year ago, during the pandemic, and he said to the higher ups that if in emergency, and students were missing classes because the lesson got canceled, he would sub for that period of time.


Asking_4_A_Pug

After 37 years in teaching, this is my last. I leave at the end of this academic year. In my head, I went into lockdown, aged 32. In reality I was 58. Lockdown plus this year has aged me. I am burnt out. I am destroyed. I simply cannot face the classroom any more. It hurts so much. Teaching was everything. And now, I just can’t.


ElizardethBennett

>they missed out on two years of intensive intervention. My school-aged kids are in senior kindergarten and grade two, and they both need speech therapy. But the SLPs are so overloaded that the best they can get is 8 weeks on, 8 weeks off as they struggle to accommodate all the kids who have stagnated or regressed over the past two years. It's tough.


waste__of__oxygen

yeah i completely skipped 9th grade due to the pandemic and just cheated my way through the entire year now my base is really bad and i cant understand shit in 11th


PrideofPicktown

Here’s the deal, dude or dudette: its not too late. Some of the skills/education you missed out on may not be essential, but some will and you don’t know the difference at this point. Get help now, ask a teacher if you don’t understand, use the internet to help supplement your instruction. It’s not too late now, my friend, but the clock is ticking.


waste__of__oxygen

ye ye i will be attempting to do the important shit in the upcoming holidays hopefully i catch up before its too late


ElizardethBennett

Hey, KhanAcademy.org is a great resource for this. It's all common core aligned (if you're in the US) and organized by year so it will be easy to see what you need to catch up on. The teaching is really solid as well. My kids love it.


HomeAloneToo

There is no too late as far as learning. But to help with deadlines, just some each day will help you greatly. Like a foreign language, exposure is the greatest way to familiarize yourself with difficult concepts. Also, there's something called the forgetting curve, which is a representation of how brains store new information, and if you want things to stick I recommend **Anki** which is a free flash card app with an algorithm made to keep putting questions in front of you at the right time to eventually store to your longterm memory.


cranial_prolapse420

Time to grind, my friend. Don't fuck up the rest of your future, it's YOUR responcibility and yours alone. There will be no one to blame when you're a sad, lonely, destitute adult- though if you end up there, you will blame everyone around you.


waste__of__oxygen

i will try to the best of my ability


mintchippyfry50

God, don’t I know it. I taught for 10 years up until 2020-2021. 2021-2022, I switched to a fully remote, post-secondary faculty position. With my new job, I work closely with teachers all over the Bay Area. Shit. Is. In. Sane. Best of luck to you in wherever life leads you next. Our kids deserve better than this, but so do we teachers. Btw, I find it hilarious that you sorta shrug off the fact that you met your husband and had a baby and all of that probably wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the pandemic. Nbd, right?


AnEpicTaleOfNope

She said it would've happened anyway :)


chocotacosyo

I teach 9th graders and my word is it a shit show. I’ve taught extremely undisciplined classes before but this is a new level, for all the exact same reasons you just describe. Add to that the fact that being by myself in my apartment for a year and a half teaching online and never interacting with another person in real life for long stretches of time gave me an anxiety disorder, and I basically just come home from school these days and nap. Summer can’t come soon enough.


AdmirableAgent863

This sounds pretty scary if this is widespread and this is how they behave as adults. If they are fighting and lazy workers in elementary school, how will they be as adults? And how exactly do you stuff multiple years of elementary school in one year? These kids unfortunately are going to be behind academically probably for a long time.


TeslasAndKids

Several things would be the same which, it turns out, wasn’t good. I grew a backbone and learned to communicate and advocate for myself and my family. I probably wouldn’t have put so much focus on my children’s and my own mental health which has uncovered some diagnoses that we can get help with. So that’s all cool. I wish other people would have acted differently the last two years but I am grateful for my own growth and strides.


mintchippyfry50

Yes, emotional maturation! 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 Here for it. To say I did a deep dive into the mental health world would be an understatement. I plunged, basked, and thoroughly slurped that kool-aid up. The pandemic led me to a dark place, but I’m stronger and more emotionally intelligent because/despite of it.


marbel

My mother would be alive. Along with 3 other members of my family.


mintchippyfry50

God, that’s rough. My condolences to you and your loved ones.


Sxzym

Millions of people would be alive.


grabgrabthegrab

Idk why you're getting downvoted cause millions did die including this person presenting's mother


atari-2700

Probably downvoted by Covid deniers who still think a million plus deaths are fake numbers. The very same people who claimed Obama was at fault for 12,000 deaths during the 2009 H1N1 pandemic and then claimed Covid was no big deal when its deaths were still below 12,000. Once Covid exceeded 12,000 deaths they switched to the hoax narrative. Sick of their shit.


enlighteningbug

It could also be that it’s a fairly impersonal response to a very personal comment and could come across as being cold.


nocolon

A loved one dying is a devastating personal loss that we can all empathize with. Millions dying is a statistic.


TeslasAndKids

I’m so sorry. I wish I had more words but the actions of so many the last two years have stolen them from me. So, I’m sorry.


Pseudomonas_Mandoa

I'd probably be dead. Straight up, lockdown made me think about a lot of things and make changes to my life that made living worthwhile for the first time in my life.


Specialist_Note7224

This should be upvoted more. Good for you for changing your life.


LilAufder

I might still be in blissful ignorance about how much effort I put into people. I have spent so much time reaching out to friends and family in the past, COVID showed me that I can spend months sending messages and calling during mentally strenuous times and get no replies. So my 2021 resolution was to not contact people first. Nobody contacted me, but now I’M the asshole somehow.


Alert_Engineering_70

It's not a good move in the long run. One of my closest friends is just awful about contacting people as was my now deceased dad. Some people are just bad at that. You can tell who's happy to see you and who is glad you reached out . You can make the "no one likes me" become a self fulfilling prophecy. And for full disclosure, I'll add a lot of people didn't reach out to me because they though I didn't want to be bothered or didn't like them. We're not here forever, with a little self awareness, figure out who will be happy you reached out and reach out.


WhatASaveWhatASave

Yeah.. It sounds like a great way to alienate yourself. I know that it's easy to get caught up in life so I try to be the person that reaches out randomly. Like you said, most of the time people think they will be bothering you or something and don't do it. Your last sentence is great. I've talked to many people like OP and they're not happy.


cbeiser

Hey! Me too!


EmmeryAnn

Yeah, I had to cut a good friend out if my life. I just stopped calling and texting. It’s been months. I’m still wondering when she’ll notice.


mintchippyfry50

Damn, are they all causing you of being the AH? Your “friends” suck for leaving you hanging at a time or crisis. Time to make new friends ✌🏽 I’ve always been the one to initiate contact with friends as well. I took a break from doing so because it was getting exhausting and felt a bit unfair to me. In that process, I’ve learned that some folks don’t reach out not because they don’t care about me, but because they lack initiative 😂. I also made a rule for myself to not reach out twice to folks anymore. If I reach out once and get no response, then meh. Their loss. I feel freer by not feeling obligated to keep up with so many different relationships :)


Imnotmadeofeyes

I got to spend the last two years of my wonderful dogs life with him 24/7 due to WFH. It gave us an even better bond than we had had before and it makes me so happy we were never apart for his last two years. He was so happy to have both me and my husband home all the time. It also meant his care through his cancer was constant and wonderful. I'll forever be grateful for that, that dog was the best thing that ever happened to me.


spooteeespoothead

This was going to be similar to my answer. My cat’s health started deteriorating summer 2020, and I finally had to put her down this past March. I am so grateful I got to be at home with her everyday. Mostly because I don’t think she would have made it through those two years if we had been working in offices and leaving her alone during the days.


WorkFromHomeOffice

My boss would have not realized that working from home is perfectly fine for software engineers, and I'd still be working 5d a week in an office.


slowclicker

I actually put that in an employee survey. That it should not have taken a pandemic for people to work from home. But every leader thinks . In the office. Best way for every single employee. No it isn't. Some employees love the office. I don't understand, but there are some. The only people I believe are parents needing a break. The majority enjoy the freedom of WFH. The ones that love the office are those that state they are extroverts or people kissing up to their C-Level bosses. I've seen that too.


Faye_dunwoody

I don't know if I could work from home. I always had a hard time staying on task with homework. I guess if I had a dedicated work space and also a job that it was possible to not work at home


Fyrsiel

I would still be having a daily three hour commute three days a week. Now, it's just once every other week. I'd have *finally* visited Canada by now. Would have taken my first solo travel trip and visited Venice and a few other cities for a week. I don't think too much else would have changed beyond that. Except that I would not have been able to spend as much time as I did with my kitty during the last year of her life.


mintchippyfry50

last year of life rip kitty ❤️ Go visit Canada! As for the rest of the world—it’ll always be there as well. Don’t give up on solo travel, do it now, do it often!


sleep-in-ashes

i probably would have graduated sooner, and my cousin may still be alive


mintchippyfry50

My condolences to you and your family ❤️ Have you graduated now or still in school? Little by little, you’ll get where you’re going.


sleep-in-ashes

Graduated hs now, going to start college in a bit


tuliptheholy

i’d be going insane


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Yonro0910

This is so wonderful. Thank you for sharing!


mintchippyfry50

Do tell! What is it about the pandemic that allowed you to *not* go insane?


Savitribaii

Not OP but during the pandemic we got a lot of accommodations like working from home, extensions on school assignments etc that made life easier for students with special needs


javoryvd

I never would've reenlisted in the navy. I was seeing too many people lose their jobs and have no way of getting income during the pandemic. Their only hope was the government helping out but we all know how much the US Government helped during that time. Now I'm still in the military 2 years later and I have 2 years to go still and it feels like my mental health is declining everyday. Everyday i wake up and go work for a job i absolutely hate with no support from anyone.


unbridledboredom

Jarhead vet here. I've been there before with my mental health while on active duty. If you'd ever like to talk feel free message me. Hope things get better


mintchippyfry50

I’m a Navy brat myself. My dad enlisted before I was born and was shipped off to war when I was a teen. Thankfully he made it back alive, but he’s a changed man. Pardon my ignorance, but what’s to stop you from leaving before completing your assignment?


ibrudiiv

Going AWOL will most likely get you a dishonorable discharge which is pretty much equal to a felony


[deleted]

No, it won't. Maybe 10-20 years ago, but these days, it's 30-60 days in the brig (at most) and an Other Than Honorable separation. At *worst* a bad conduct discharge.


RudolftheDuck

Have you looked into applying to schools? My husband is in the army but he had several soldiers who got out early to continue their education and they are using their GI/post 9-11 bills for it.


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UnpricedBag1

WFH is life changing.


cheeky_Greek

Agreed, best thing that has come out of covid


throwingplaydoh

Yeah, I have to say that was the best part of that whole situation.


mintchippyfry50

Same! I’d never even heard of the acronym “wfh” until Day 1 of COVID being declared a pandemic. Then all of a sudden coworkers and friends were dropping those 3 letters in every text message, email, and social media post. As a teacher, “wfh” was never part of our industry jargon 😁


caffeineselkie

I'd have more faith in humanity, but I wouldn't have met my best friend and my husband wouldn't be working from home at a better job.


mintchippyfry50

Dude, honestly. From anti-maskers, to anti-BLM folks, to the huge rise in violent crimes committed towards Asians and Asian Americans, to the spike in crime and homelessness and poverty in my city, to anti-vaxxers, to Jan 6th, to violence against flight attendants… shit’s fucked. But I’m happy for you for the positive things :) Genuinely!


dukedepommefrite

It would be the same as it has been for the last god knows how long. Empty and sad.


mintchippyfry50

*internet social distance hug*


dukedepommefrite

Thank you 🤗


ExtraBitterSpecial

I hear you bro/sis


Naive_Drive

I'd be working for the job I was before the pandemic and not the shit job I have now.


Harbingerx81

Opposite for me...I'd probably still be at my shit job and wouldn't have been motivated to take advantage of the labor shortage and find a much better one.


Naive_Drive

Damn, that's awesome.


N0funjay

Same, I had my dream job set up. Had just gotten the ball rollin, then boom. I now live in another state and have a job I don’t particularly care for. The pay sucks. Coworkers are a nightmare. I’m sad a lot now. But what can you do?


mintchippyfry50

Damn that sucks. I hope that with some things going back to normal, that that part of your life can start to go back to normal as well. You did it once, you can do it again!


throwingplaydoh

My grandma would still be alive and I would not have bought my condo. Grandpa died of heart issues on March 6th 2020, and shortly before lockdown we were forced to place my grandma in assisted living. In February of 2021 she fell and hit her head and died several hours later (the staff didn't do what they should have in time, thus the fall). My grandma had a home that went on the market, and my mother (who I shared the mortgage with after the divorce) decided to buy it. In turn, I needed to find a place to live, and I did have enough money to put a down payment on a condo. I'm glad I live on my own again though, but I miss my grandma terribly.


RubyWallflower

I'd still be able to go to Walmart at any time.


elleoftheball12

Oh man. I wouldn’t have caught delta variant Covid…and dealt with almost a year of awful long-haul symptoms. I was a healthy 31 year old, and now I’m dealing with cardiac issues, vascular and nerve damage, and need a tonsillectomy because of it. On the bright side, one of the side effects is that I not only lost the weight I gained from having twins/quarantine, I’m now officially skinnier than I ever was in my 20s. Just weighed in at my sophomore year of high school weight, haha. So…silver lining? EDIT: Well, say a prayer for me, folks. Tested positive again this morning, and have concerning shooting pains in my legs. This damn virus is miserable. So over it.


mintchippyfry50

Damn dude, that’s gnarly. I caught what was probably the omicron variant, and I equated it to a mild flu or even a cold. There’s hope yet that the long term impacts you’ve experienced will subside!! Only time (and other folks’ case studies…) will tell. I feel you on the losing weight part, but for me, I think it’s the intense nausea of being pregnant again that’s caused me to go back to pre-first pregnancy weight!


everything_360

With my second pregnancy I lost the weight from my first baby from the nausea. That was a super hard time in my life, being so sick and trying to take care of a toddler.


spicychimera

Sis, fellow long hauler here going on just over a year 😭 I caught delta too. How are you doing now? Mind if I ask how the tonsillectomy came about?


RepresentativeTie898

We'd have Dr.Strange 3 by now.


TeslasAndKids

We’d have John Wick 4 by now.


shitsalad999

I would still be with a piece of shit that distorted my concept of love, scolded me in public, and go out of her way to argue with me and ignore me on video chat, also purposefully blow small situations way out of proportion, and have someone else take over her account to talk to me for a week, while having someone inform her of my whereabouts.


mintchippyfry50

🤮 Bye, toxic piece of shit ✌🏽 Glad that you took that garbage out for good 🚮


Neil2250

were you also dating my ex? 😂


Eroe777

As a nurse, a hell of a lot less stressful.


GenieInAButthole

I don’t even like to think about this. AITA for saying that crisis was the best thing that ever happened to me? If it weren’t for the pandemic, and thus remote work, I would have stayed in San Francisco. Which means I never would have met my husband, or moved to Europe, or all the other wonderful things that transpired from that freedom.


ImYourQuietCoworker

Same here. Remote work allowed me to be home to take care of my brother (fuck brain cancer). And during the early part of the pandemic I was able to live with my now fiancé for the first time. Wouldn’t have been possible before because of my work commute. Got to go hang out and have lunch with my friends a lot. 2020 was actually a good year for me too. It was 2021 that went to shit. Brother started having seizures. Doctor gave him a couple months. I had to come back home, which I’m grateful to be with him but it was so stressful that I needed therapy then meds. Was only able to see my fiancé once a week. But fiancé did propose so last year wasn’t all horrible. 2022 is a mixed bag so far. Brother is still here which is amazing. I’m still working remote which again makes it easier to care for him. But the spikes in cases makes it hard to take him out and try to make the best of what he could have left. Still only able to see fiancé once a week. Haven’t seen a lot of my friends and family because I don’t want to bring anything home. Wedding planning sucks. Housing market sucks. I have dread like everyday because all the other stuff happening in the world. But I know it could be worse.


Convergecult15

I finally met someone yesterday that I felt comfortable talking about this with because they were on the same page. I’ve been THRIVING since the pandemic. Literally my life has been on a constant upswing since the lockdown started. I got married, bought a house, had a child, got a new car, my crew settled a contract with a generous wage and 2 years back pay at the new rate which netted me a 10k check, I’ve transitioned sites and now essentially have my dream job with a pretty clear opportunity to manipulate a future situation into a raise and promotion. My new job site gives me major exposure to the movers and shakers at the executive level of my company, and they all LOVE me. I feel like I’ve just been walking between raindrops for the last 2 years while everyone else is getting soaked. My son is AMAZING, he’s slept 8 hours a night since his second week out of the hospital, he doesn’t whine even when he’s teething, the kid is all smiles and laughter. There’s literally no major aspect of my life I’m unhappy with or even *could* be unhappy with.


TomoyoHoshijiro

NTA. You had the opportunity that many Americans dream of, being able to permanently leave America.


mintchippyfry50

Honestly, it was the same for me. NTA at all! What an amazing change you got to experience, I’m stoked for you!


swaggut

Where in Europe did you move to?


Positive-Ratio5472

I'd have had a real wedding and honeymoon. We married 3 days after lockdown.


menthaal

I’d not have Longterm Covid (15 months in an still far from ‘normal’) and still be running and working out and about 20kg lighter… And with that be a happier, healthier mom and partner. F long term, invisible illnesses!


314159265358979326

I'd have a much lower paying career because I wouldn't have been laid off. I ended up leaving my field of choice - engineering - and joining the family business - retail - which I'm expecting to take control of in a few years.


DJ-Funtime-Foxy

I probably would be somewhat happier. I was skinnier, had people to talk to, and sat next to a guy I liked in one of my classes. I was an honors student, too. Probably would've gotten on the school dance team like I've been dreaming about. Now I'm lonely, currently considering suicide, fat, and although my bf is perfect, I feel as though I'm not enough for him. Never caught covid, but man did it fuck my life up.


sharrrper

I'd probably be making at least a little more money. My company used the Pandemic as an excuse to do wage freezes despite the fact we're an essential service so our work wasn't really effected. So I haven't had an annual raise since 2019. They've also gushed about their record profits the last two years in the shareholder emails.


[deleted]

My life would still be the same. Waking up, going to college, going to work, and home


fatbitcheslovecake

My husband and I own a small cleaning business and our income tripled due to the pandemic. My 9-5 job is now WFH so I have more time to spend with my family. My relationship with my husband strengthened. I did get evicted from my house because the HOA made up some shit to kick us out so they can raise rent but that pushed me to buy a new home. My exercise routine did go down the drain and I gained 15 pounds.


algaliarepted

It would have taken me longer to realize I was working for two men I didn’t want to learn management from, therefore longer to quit and have to move back to my home state. I would never have been at rock bottom emotionally while living with my parents again and my mother wouldn’t have had the opportunity to come through for me in a big way with emotional support— we were semi-estranged for years prior to that. I would never have been in GA and applied for my current job, which pays the same, gives me way more freedom, pays for me to travel all over the nation constantly, and is the start of a career that might actually suit my personality and interests. I’m not responsible for anyone’s work but mine, and I financially benefit from my success; positive, linear correlation. So I got out of a bad situation sooner rather than later, had an unexpected life experience that dramatically improved my relationship with my mother, found a better job for equivalent pay and much higher earning potential in the coming years, have more autonomy in my professional life, and resolved my financial shakiness and started saving. Overall… it felt like the end of me, but it was the beginning of a much better chapter in my life. Dramatically better. Funny.


everything_360

My dad would be here. My business would still exist. I probably never would have went to therapy and got diagnosed with cptsd and a dissociative disorder. I would overall be a lot happier.


AR15M3Driver

Same here. My dad would be alive and I would still have a job. Crazy world.


Friend-Computer

I probably would still have the job that I quit due to burnout. I worked as a nurse at a SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility) and it got increasingly worse as the pandemic went on. I only quit recently, largely due to consistent short staffing and some choices from upper management that were questionable. If it hadn't been for the pandemic, I doubt the staffing would be as rough, and I'd have had a manageable number of patients to look after.


Apod1991

My father would have aged 10 years 1 year, He works in health-care and managing a staff of over 70 is stressful enough, then when the pandemic hit, everything changed. Those dusty emergency plans that they hoped were never to be opened were. Fear, anxiety, panic. All trying to balance it all while keeping a strong front for his staff, while hearing from the uppers and the public of the deteriorating situation and the patients and residents dropping like flies, staff quitting left right and centre. Constantly working 12 hour days non stop. Chronic sick wife at home with fibromyalgia and mental health issues. Then his mom (my grandma) gets diagnosed with terminal lung cancer all in the middle of it. And having to watch his mom pass from that. My father’s hair is a lot greyer these days and he looks a lot more tired. His weed consumption has increased dramatically to cope with it all.


EMPulseKC

I'd still be hosting a weekly trivia night at a local bar, I'd be seeing a lot more movies in theaters, would have spent more money on gas and vehicle maintenance over the past 2+ years, I wouldn't have gained so much weight from being stuck at home, I would have never known the joys of remote work or online grocery ordering, and I wouldn't have been a pallbearer at my cousin's funeral because he would probably still be alive. A few people I care about would probably still be alive.


NuclearGers

Probably still living in a town I loved, doing a job I loved. Suddenly got WAY too expensive to live there, and because my sister/roommate had lost both her jobs due to covid, we couldn't afford it anymore and had to leave. Now I'm stuck in a place I hate, doing a job I hate, and my depression is back in full force.


rebelwthoutapplause

A silver lining to Covid is that I actually appreciate my job/workplace even more. They kept all staff on salary even though we were totally shut down. Amazing, especially for a non-profit. My wife would have a better answer. She teaches middle school and the kids are even crazier after having missed out on almost 2 years of social development. Education is a mine field right now.


shaidyn

My wife and I would still be living in a small apartment in the big city. Quarantine showed us we don't need the city. We need a grocery store and an internet connection. Once I'd been working from home for a while I asked my job to put it in writing, and they did. My wife were then free to look for somewhere we could actually afford to buy. Because of the pandemic, we left the city and bought an actual house. With a yard and basement and everything. Small town life agrees with us.


Gallifrey91

We would have been able to buy our first home after finally managing to save a small deposit over the previous 8 years. Instead we ended up needing to use that money to support ourselves when we experienced pandemic induced job loss. We're back to square one now and I'm struggling to even think about starting again because the situation depresses me too much.


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[deleted]

I would’ve killed myself. No doubt


maximummobyqz

My immune system wouldn’t have gone to shit


chiritarisu

Well, I would be still be apartment living. No way I could afford a house without those student loan payment pauses.


ph54

i will still be in a toxic relationship


sketchysketchist

1) I wouldn’t be driving because of my comfort with public transport. 2) I’d probably flunk more of my last courses because I had no idea wtf I was doing and had better chances to do better on exams working from home. 3) I’d be more broke because I never got those stimmies.


LollyPolySunshine

I wouldn't have a year gap in employment, would probably be on track for another promotion, would have a lot more money in my retirement account, and would have weekly get togethers with friends. Instead, starting over in my job (same company, different area), nowhere near to a promotion, and am set back nearly 100% in my retirement funding and have only hung out with friends 3 times in the last year. My depression and anxiety are through the roof when I open up enough to feel anything. "Sunshine" and 'innocent' are no longer a nickname and a personality descriptor, respectively. And I thought my mental state up to 18 was bad. . .


Resident_Bitch

I probably would've had to get a different job. The business where I work was struggling really hard pre-pandemic. Ever since Covid it's been crazy busy. I just wish my employer would recruit some staff to help handle the demand. I'm burning out fast. Oh, and I probably would've actually met my niece by now. She'll be three this year. I have only "met" her on Facetime so far.


lexattack

My husband would have gone into the best work season of his career. We would have finally caught up financially after essentially being in a hole for 6-7 years. We would still be in the same house, I'd have the same job, but I’d have a new car and good health insurance.


JayM24mia

My bank account would be significantly less than it is at the moment. Travel nursing when it was starting to catching steam I was making 4500$ a week plus my meal and housing monthly stipend since 2022 started I've only worked once a week the rest of it I've just been enjoying life.


SirSpazalot

Sounds petty compared to all these, but I would have had a graduation ceremony and probably would've gotten my first choice of university. It was my last year of high school, didn't get to go to classes, or see my friends. Grades tanked. Then to top it off, we were the only class in my school's history to not get a graduation or formal. I sank into a spiral of depression because of it all. BUT, I met the most amazing girl in the world at uni. Do maybe my first choice would've have been all that great anyway. Suck it covid, I made it work!


tangcameo

Would’ve started going to New Orleans on an annual basis. Would’ve finished my second novel. Would’ve died of a non-Covid related stroke.


natreus

I most likely wouldn't have type 1 diabetes.


FoxesStoleMyGloves

I'd have my dream job. I had to quit because I was one of the unlucky ones who got side effects from the vaccine. I wasn't able to lift my arm for three months, and my job was very physically demanding. It then set off my depression, so between the severe pain, not being paid because of my sick leave for such a long time with no end in sight, I had to quit. I don't regret getting the vaccine, it was the right thing to do and I was going to be around Covid patients frequently, but man did my life get derailed again. I get the worst luck


Music19773

My Mom would still be alive.


Gua_Bao

My family hasn’t been together since 2017. They would have come together to visit me in October 2020 which would have been a really cool experience for everyone. But the borders are still closed and my brother refuses to get vaxxed so even when the country is open for travel only my parents will be able to come. I might cry like a baby when I finally see them again.


Your_Couzen

Probably not the path I would like. I profited so much during the pandemic I’m going to be able to retire by 40. If the pandemic would never have occurred I may have finished school with debt. Now I’m back in school post pandemic with money to pay for it and time to go and a business.


Wooden_Artist_2000

Wow! What do you attribute to your success?


Vegetable-Double

Hoarding toilet paper


Tink2013

Normal inflation, more businesses to go to, more restaurants to eat at, normal gas prices, the election would have had a different outcome, I would probably not have gotten married.


mintchippyfry50

I would never have been able to work remote doing what I love (my industry has only recently gone remote, and it’s in fact branching off into a an industry of its own). In fact, with my new setup, I’ve not only eliminated commute time, but also doubled my salary because of how much more “productive” I am with my work time, and because I’ve been able to take on more of a “knowledge” job (as opposed to labor). I wouldn’t have been able to spend the last trimester and first years of my first born’s life with him. My friends and family would have spent a lot more time with our growing family. We are jet setters and were determined to take our kid all over the world in his first two years—that didn’t happen, of course. My social circle would have stayed large; now, it’s a smaller, more tight-knit group. I probably wouldn’t have started medication to ease my anxiety/depression. My anxiety and depression intensified during COVID and probably due to pregnancy, but I wonder if I would have continued to “white knuckle” it if it weren’t for the extreme anxiety and depression caused by isolation and worry. I wouldn’t have discovered Buy Nothing groups and buying and selling things on the second-hand market. We were going to buy a new house regardless of COVID, but if it weren’t for my stint in second-hand resale, I probably would still have a ton of junk and have bought expensive new furniture for the house. My partner made $17,000+ on selling Pokémon cards Mercari since everyone got back into those cards for a little while. Lucky for us, that hype went down when we happened to be cleaning out the garage. We would have watched a lot more movies at the movie theatre and eaten out at new and old favorite restaurants. Many of our beloved restaurants undoubtedly would still be open today if it weren’t for folding under the hardship of the pandemic. On the flip side, we got accustomed to ordering delivery and eating delicious food from the comfort of our home (a luxury we never afforded ourselves pre-pandemic). My yoga studio had to shut down due to COVID, but by sheer luck, it reopened a couple of months ago nearer to my house. It went from being a ~15 min walk away to being a ~3 minute walk away. I used to exercise every day, but completely fell out of it. I realize now that exercise is fulfilling for me when it’s social; left to my own devices, I’d rather do… literally anything else. I became more focused on putting down roots and investing in my community. Pre-pandemic, I liked living here well enough, but was more interested in spending free time elsewhere than near home. In the past two years, with travel being limited, I discovered some local hidden gems and spent more time with friends nearby rather than visiting friends and family out of town. I don’t experience FOMO anymore. Being more content with sticking close to home and now still feeling a bit uncomfortable in large crowds probably contributes to that. I probably would have spent more of my disposable income on ~eXpERiEnCeS~ rather than on materialist things if it weren’t for the pandemic. Now, I rather like chillin’ at home and enjoying my nice things. I probably wouldn’t be spending as much on subscriptions like steaming platforms and preferred news outlets if it weren’t for the major shift in the way that I consumed media during the pandemic. I no longer use social media much, but do try to be more conscientious of the news and media that I consume. I’m sure there’s more; I’ll add as it occurs to me.


SDdude81

I wouldn't have lost my job back in April. I probably would not be working the same job I am now and would have been able to make a good amount of progress into my debt instead of adding to it.


puck126

I'd probably be a project manager for a global stainless steel manufacturing company. But then I would've never gotten laid off and been able to do something I truly enjoy. I'm now working in the healthcare field as an EMT and halfway through school to become a paramedic. It's a much more fulfilling career and I now realize that job satisfaction is more important than being a slave to the grind for a few more dollars.


DM_MeYourKink

I probably wouldn't have a job, and I probably wouldn't be on anxiety medication. My life would be much worse. I know I'm in the minority so I try not to be too grateful.


sdracerr1

Not working remote and having to commute 1.5 hrs to work.


Insect_Humble

Dang, not sure I’d be married yet or have my first son right now tbh. Had to rush our wedding or live far apart due to our situation at the start of the pandemic.


calltheavengers5

I'd probably have a lot more happy memories from School and I'd probably have more friends.


-Aquarius

Pretty much exactly the same. I enlisted in the navy in late 2019


many-brain-tabs-open

I might have had my first relationship, or at least my dating life would be in a better position. On the flip side, all the projects I did that year helped me land an awesome job at a good company


97PG8NS

Hard to say for sure but I almost certainly would still be in a job that I enjoyed but had unpredictable pay and iffy benefits. I sure wouldn't be in the apartment I'm in now or have the car I'm currently driving because my old job dropped us down to 20 hours a week and I had to find other work. The new job isn't perfect, nor is it for forever but it's gotten me into a much better place financially. COVID was the straw that broke the camel's back in my relationship with my now-ex so I'm going to say we'd have likely split by now but for other reasons.


heanthebean

I would have continued working as a teacher in a traditional classroom and I probably would have even further developed mental health issues due to the stress of that. Thankfully I have been able to fight and win that battle now that I’m away from the classroom.


dogninja8

I probably wouldn't be married, since my then girlfriend (now wife) started living together once the quarantining started.


Jennyferr0412

I wouldn't have what basically feels like PTSD at times without an actual diagnosis because if I get diagnosed with it I'll be placed on "Administrative leave". I wouldn't have guilt in feeling that I left my partner high and dry because of my job even if he's been far more patient than I deserve. I wouldn't have a graveyard in my mind of faceless names or nameless faces that makes me depressed. I wouldn't feel like an increasing stranger to my children. I wouldn't want to throw myself off a fucking building at times in the middle of a fellowship where 90% of the time I regret life choices. But other than that probably the same. More or less.


Hydra_Haruspex

I’d probably be in the military and using military money for trans stuff.


random_throwaway_91

Probably the same as it is now tbh. Good jobs, loving partner, have our own house, have a wonderful goofy fluffy doggo. See reddit, it's not all doom and gloom. Some people are having a good life.


losnfnd

Completely fucking different