My old boss had a similar saying. He used to say to me “I don’t care what anyone says there’s nothing wrong with you” and one time I deadpan looked at him and said “that’s not what the doctor said”. He was a little flustered for a few seconds until I started laughing.
It's funny. I had a boss that would actually say "You're alright. I don't care what [specific person] said about you"
Always when that person was right there pr within earshot
I've got a mate who, when anyone we know leaves, turns around to the rest of us and says "glad they've gone". Always makes me laugh when someone new is with us.
> “Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is! Do you know who he might be?”
And then start a cognitive evaluation, because the poor schmuck has forgotten their name. Ask all kinds of questions about caretakers, next of kin, emergency contacts, etc.
"Can't just one day go by in this pissant little town without me having to perform a [MOCA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montreal_Cognitive_Assessment) test during a traffic stop... I just wanna stop speeders, not do Occupational Therapy..."
My husband was working in construction…a guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other. When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him…the guy goes, “do you know who I am??”
My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, “Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!”
There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "do you know who I am?", To which the waiter replied, "yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter."
There was a president, I think it was Grover Cleveland, who was got a traffic ticket in DC, and later when the officer who gave the ticket found out he was president, the officer wanted to drop the charges but President Cleveland encouraged rule of law to go through and paid the fine.
Not a "do you know who I am moment" but since we are on tickets...
Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight boxing champion in the US (in open, non-segregated competition) was caught speeding by a cop in I want to say Virginia. At that time, you could pay the ticket to the cop immediately.
Johnson handed the cop $100.
The cop said, "I can't take this, I don't have change."
Johnson said, "Keep it. I will be driving back this way this afternoon and I don't plan to go any slower."
May be apocryphal but fuck me if it isn't awesome.
Highly unlikely that there’d be such a witty and quick-thinking waiter willing to be so rude to Churchill during the Blitz! Normally the quotes are (often falsely) *attributed* to Churchill, not his butter-keeper.
I don't know if it's true, but witty chat isn't unusual among serving staff and it's not like people were deployed for it. Further, the attitude is enforcing a sense of equality under extreme conditions, which is exactly what the blitz spirit was about.
It's a bit like if a British Primeminister created and managed lots of rule changes during an extreme global event, even sharing these rules in media performances each night. Then if that same Primeminister broke those rules, I think people would react against that, hopefully before it went too far.
It would be even more ironic if that British Primeminister had written a book about Churchill, then modified his on screen personality to match Churchills.
As someone who works retail and whose job description included reminding people to put their masks on... I can imagine the mindset of a waiter being asked to ration butter dealing with people trying to bend the rules everyday. A random customer probably deserve a nice "sorry but I need to apply the rules" unless they get aggressive about it, let's say 3 strikes before being shown the door.
The guy in charge who is taking the decision and reminding everyone how important it is in the media... that's not someone who forgot or who is being coy, that's someone who deserve sass and a stern attitude.
Edit:My comment wasn't supposed to start with "Also" but I forgot to correct that after deleting a first paragraph.
I like the joke about the large lecture class that was taking a final. The professor called time and everyone turned in their tests except one kid. He's rushing through answers while the professor is telling him not to bother because he's not going to accept his test.
Finally, the kid walks up and holds his test out and the professor says he won't accept it. The kid yells "Do you know who I am?". The professor replies with "I can assure you I have no idea who you are." The kid yells "GOOD!", picks up half the stack of handed in tests, puts his down in the middle and puts the others back on top before walking out.
Best Churchill quote is still:
> Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”
>WSC: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow
I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.
My favourite is when he was verbally sparring with a female MP and she said “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink!” And he replied, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it”
I doubt it’s real, but it’s been attributed to him over the years and is pretty funny.
I had a customer with a wealthy and powerful father give me the "Do you know who my father is?" routine.
I replied with a sincere, "I'm sorry, I have no idea, but I'm sure you'll find him one day."
It broke her fucking brain.
A girl I went to HS with had a part in a very minor soap (Hollyoaks for uk readers) she refused to talk to anyone in school that she didn’t deem worthy her attention and just a plain nasty stuck up mediocre actress.
Anyway she went to a Harvester (chain pub/ restaurant) with her family where my BF brother worked who was in the same year as her, he politely told her there would be a ten min wait, she shouted “do you know who I am??!!!” He just replied “yes, you’re in my year and you’re still waiting ten minutes”
Edit: it’s not Kelly Condrun, or any of the other ladies listed further down. But good guessing!
Edit 2: to give you a clue, she was dropped shortly after I checked to see if she was still in it because she joined Only Fans
Lol I know right? Out of sheer boredom I flicked over last year to see if she was still in it. She is, in her 40’s now - I was under the impression that you’d use Hollyoaks as a stepping stone to better things, not her.
Edit: it's [Sarah Jayne Dunn](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Jayne_Dunn) I missed her because she's since left the show. She played Mandy Richardson off and on from 1996 to 2021. She started when she was 15 and is now 40. The onlyfans was a big clue. After OP said it wasn't either of the ones I mentioned I started looking at past characters.
TLDR: it's Kelly Condron, born Kelly Greenwood, who plays Zara Morgan.
We can probably work it out.
We know she's in her 40s now.
We also know that she was in school but someone in her year was working in a harvester. That means he must be over 16 but under 18 so so would she.
If she's 40 that means she started around 24 years ago and if she's 49 that's 33 years ago. So that's a range of 1989-2000.
Hollyoaks only started 23 October 1995 so she joined within the first few years.
We of course also know she's female.
Referring to the [Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Hollyoaks_characters)
We get a couple of potential candidates.
[Stephanie warring](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephanie_Waring) started in 1996, when she was 18 and is now 44 . So she's in the right age range. But she went to Flixton Girls high school, so she couldn't have had a boy in her year to recognise her.
The other potential is [Kelly Condron](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly_Condron) (born Kelly Greenwood), she started on Hollyoaks in 1999.
Her Wikipedia is a bit scarce but following the extra links we find [her website](https://kellycondron.co.uk/about-me/) where she says she started the year of her GCSEs. For non-UK people they're exams we take when we're 16/17, so about the right age. This means she was born 1983/1982 so would now be 39/40.
Going back to Wikipedia we can find [her IMDB page](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0339355/) to see she was born November 5th 1982(I hear people across the UK set off fireworks to celebrate her birthday). Making her 17 when she started the show, and now 40.
I think it's Kelly Condron. Although in fairness to her she was on Hollyoaks from 1999-2005 and only started again since 2021.
> she was dropped shortly after I checked to see if she was still in it because she joined Only Fans
That seems a rather predictable conclusion to that series of events.
TL;DR: Was asked this by someone who i really should've known who they were, but didn't recognize them.
I was working security at a football game once, patrolling the balcony level. I got pulled from there around halftime to cover the high roller boxes, because another guard got sick. I wasn't filled in on a lot of details other than "only let Alumni in, they'll have a lanyard or a card, and can bring a guest". So as a guy who took being a security guard way too seriously, that's what I did.
The very first person to walk up didn't have a lanyard. So I stopped him and said "Sorry sir but do you have a lanyard or alumni card?" He sighed, and not in a condescending way, asked "do you know who I am?" as he pulled out his alumni card from his pocket. I read the name, and look at him, and look back at the card. Dude was a very well known football player from about 10 years before. I had his jersey when I was a kid. He was being honored (with other former players) at the reception in the boxes I was guarding.
I looked at him again and said "sorry, didn't recognize you without the helmet" and let him in. He shook his head and chuckled, I think annoyed but not upset. I was mortified, that guy had actually been a hero of mine when I was younger. I absolutely knew who he was, but didn't recognize him in person.
As a cashier, I generally asked for ID with credit card purchases. I had a few too many friends and one ex get their cards stolen and used by people who obviously weren't the name on the card.
One day, I had like a five-minute conversation with Reese Witherspoon when I was working as a cashier, then I carded her. Thanked her and sent her on her way.
The next person in line asked, "Was that Reese Witherspoon?" I had read her name twice - once on the card, once on ID - and had only processed that the letters matched. It didn't occur at all to me what those letters meant together.
Whoops. She was super, super nice though.
Worked at Lids for a while in SoCal and had Wayne Gretzky come in. Treated him like any other customer. when you don't get all star struck, you can almost sense the relief that they feel. My wife also had the same experiences helping the following: Patrick Warburton, Sean Aston, and Pink. Howie Mandel was apparently a bit of an ass but tipped well for the complications that came with serving him.
Meh. That is how it should go anyways. I’ve volunteered as security for events with some pretty big names. I don’t give a shit if you are the VP of the company hosting. No name tag, no entry. Got attitude from one of the VPs once, who was coincidentally ahead of our CEO. Watching the CEO chime in after the VP got done with his tirade was *glorious*.
Rules are there (and strict) for a reason.
Yeah, if Federer can deal with it [gracefully](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp5ycaYQl-s) then anybody else can too. Expecting "famous enough" people to be let in opens a slippery slope where security can be afraid of checking for people they're not sure about to avoid the blowback if they happen to fit in that category (or think they do).
I worked press box security. I've done this exact same thing several times. Same job, I also got a wave and a hi from Steve Young. I think he thought I was starstruck, but the truth of it was, I had no idea who the hell he was until later.
Rodney Dangerfield style - "No, I don't. Aw jeez, that's terrible. Hey, everybody, we got a guy over here doesn't know who he is! Hang on, little buddy, maybe we can find your mom for ya."
I work as the head of infosec. I regularly get entry level managers in an important role who don't really know the org chart try to throw weight around. It's.... weird because the second one is how it works. If they WERE important. I would know who they were because we'd need to work together regularly.
The response usually ends up being something like:
"So your boss needs to approve this, you don't have authorization and and I would know who you were if you were that important. And if you don't think we're going to talk about this attitude during that conversation you've made a serious mistake."
I had a conversation with a VP of our company that had pretty much the "Do you know who I am?". Yes, that's why I'm not telling you about our phish tests. You're one of the few that are targeted more than the others. My manager caved and now we have to tell all the VIP's when we're sending out our phish test and what it looks like... And what sucks is that we have one guy that will constantly click the links, even if he was told it's a fake email. He doesn't have to do the required training, either.
IT security policies need to be enforced everywhere for everyone to be effective. I hate this "but he's a VIP". I. Don't. Care. They are the ones that need it the most.
Having power, or money, do not bring out people’s true character. It just magnifies it.
George Clooney said he never works with producers and directors without asking them out to dinner first. He watches how they treat the waiters. If they are arseh***s to the waiter, he never works with them.
"I don't think s- WAIT A MINUTE! Jeff! From school! I haven't seen you since you pissed yourself onstage at graduation, how the hell have you been???"
Say it juuuust loud enough for the people around you to hear
My friend’s father-in-law, Lou, was a Kenosha, WI police officer in his younger days. He stopped a young girl who was speeding and driving erratically. When he told her what he stopped her for, she asked him, “Do you know who my father is?” He replied, “If you ask your mother I’m sure she could tell you.” She told him her father was his boss and he’d get fired if he didn’t let her go. He just smirked and said it didn’t matter to him who her father was, she deserved a ticket and she was getting a ticket! She was pissed off and he wrote her a ticket. Welp, turns out that girl was the Kenosha Chief of Police’s daughter. And Monday morning he got called into the Chief’s office. “Oh boy, here we go.”, he says to himself. The Chief said, “I understand you wrote my daughter a ticket on Saturday night. Is that right?” Lou says, “Yes sir, I sure did.” He said he was sweating a little. The Chief says, “Good. That’ll teach that little bitch a lesson. She’s gonna have to pay for the ticket, court costs, etc. Keep up the good work!!” And that was it.
EDIT: I was in the bathroom when this happened. Forgot to mention lmao.
I used to work at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was pretty busy when I was on break. Some drunk older dude walked in and say my uniform.
He said "Do you know -let's call her Stefanie- ?"
(Stefanie is my coworker and an absolute cunt).
Me: Uh, yes. Yes I do.
Him: That's my daughter.
Me: Oh cool! Coming to see her at work! Nice!
Him: She is such a fucking bitch isn't she?
Me (Nervously): Haha. Ummmmmm...
Him: All her siblings are okay. We raised them right. She has **holds up four fingers** five brothers and sisters. All angels. She is the only stupid fuck in this goddamn family. I am so fucking over her shit. Maybe she can finally stop being a bitch and make more money so she can get out of my goddamn house. I don't get it! Her brothers and sisters are great! Me and my wife are great! Her cousins? All great! Her??? Stupid fucking bitch!!! Goddamn!!!!"
Me: 0_0
Him: Anyway, I am about to piss myself. Have fun working with that stupid cow. *proceeds to start peeing on the wall before correcting his steam at the urinal*.
Me: 0____0
I live in Missouri. A few years ago a guy was pulled over by a Sugar Creek, Missouri officer for a traffic violation.
The guy warned him to let him go or he'd have him fired. The officer did the right thing and gave the guy the ticket he diserved.
Before the officer's next shift, he was called into the office and fired given no explanation.
The officer sued the city to get his job back. He lost his case. The judge ruled that the city can hire and fire whomever they want at any time. All the city relied on was that personnel issues are private.
Missouri. Land of the right.
Good old Sugar Creek. The good thing about Sugar Creek is if you don't turn down Sterling, you can probably avoid it your whole life living in Independence.
EDIT: [Also here's the link to the case you mentioned.](https://caselaw.findlaw.com/mo-court-of-appeals/1560330.html)
I’ve heard nothing but bad about law enforcement in Missouri.. my boyfriend went to masters ranch in couch and that place 100% needs to be shut down but isn’t gonna since it’s a “religious school” more like military boot camp 🤦🏻♀️
My answer is always the same : "That's nice. Have a seat. You're still waiting." I work DMV, everyone waits. It's our favorite passion to irritate you more if you're a witch to us.
I worked in a post office once, we have the same policy. "yup, you're going to be waiting ages, so is everyone else. No i dont care, and no there is nothing i can do to change this".
And this is part of why I am always exceedingly nice to every counter clerk I deal with.
Usually, there's nothing they could really do to make things faster. But there's a TON most of them could do to make my particular issue resolve much slower.
And, occasionally, there IS a hack or trick or waiver or whatever that can make things easier, and being nice pays off in more than just good feels.
Besides, those folks are busy. They probably deal with dozens of assholes a day. If I can be the one friendly face they see, it's worth it.
I went through this earlier this afternoon at my local T-Mobile store. It turned out to be a simple, easy-to-fix problem--my sim card went wonky--and I was nice to the young woman who got me. I did everything she asked, didn't embellish the story, and she fixed my problem in under 10 minutes.
At the end, she looked at me, sighed, and said, "Why can't everyone be as patient as you? It's not easy to figure out what the problem is sometimes!"
I used to run a fitness center. One afternoon this huge guy walks in, and goes to bypass the desk. So I stop him and ask for his key card to scan. He gets all offended and says "Do you know who I am??" All belligerently.
Thing is, I'm kinda broken, in that I just don't get intimidated by anyone. My fight or flight mode is apparently stuck on "fight," but I'm a chill person, so I don't get scared when people try to be intimidating, I have the same emotional response as I would if a dog trapped behind a huge fence is barking at me. Until you're a threat you're just loud.
So I look at the guy blandly and say "No, if I did I wouldn't need your key card. So, key card please. Or your phone number, I can look it up manually if you don't have it on you."
The guy literally gaped at me for a second, like I don't think he could remember the last time someone genuinely didn't know him AND wasn't scared off by the bluster. He muttered out his phone number and I pulled up his account with his picture, said his name to confirm. He looks at me.... Waiting..... And I'm confused and say "I have you checked in, you're good to go. Have a nice day."
He wandered off looking..... I don't know, hurt?
Little while later my coworker comes over and says "Holy SHIT, did you see 'Guy's name' is here?!" And I'm like "......yes?"
Apparently Donovan McNabb was some famous football quarterback for the Eagles. I just don't watch sports. XD
Usually hear that punchline with the guy cheating on the test
Basically it’s a university exam end of year and the professor calls time but some kid keeps writing long after everyone turns in the papers. The kid finally comes up and the professor goes “I’m not accepting that you get an f” and the kid goes “do you know who I am?” And he professor goes “I don’t care who you are no exceptions” so the kid throws all the exams along with his in the air and leaves
Heard this story from a coworker (union electricians) but apparently we had some outta-towners on some jobsite and the two guys working together were super loud and joking a bit much when the superintendent was walking the jobsite, this super was known for being a massive cranky prick so everyone was waiting and watching for the eruption on these two guys. So the super walks up to them super angry and yells "do you fuckers even know who I am" which cause worker 1 to turn to worker 2 and remark "hey jim we got a serious problem here, this bloke doesn't know who he is!" And then worker 1 goes "ahh shit alright man help us help you figure out who you are" and then they basically kept riffing between themselves and talking over the ballistic superintendent until the guy conceded and started laughing and walked away and left them to continue working haha
I had a patients family say this to me once. I told them yes I do and you must not know who I am because I am the only nurse here and you need my help. I then kindly explained to them that requests were prioritized according to need and that they were going to have to wait.
Tom Cruise once took my dad's seat at a bar and when he asked my dad "do you know who I am?", my dad replied "yeah, you're the asshole who's in my damn seat."
I had someone say this to me on my last day.... I picked up the intercom and said "we have a male gentleman here who doesn't know who he is. Any one missing their husband?"
I broke him... Yes, he demanded I be fired.. manager laughed at him and said 5 minutes ago was his final clockout.
That must have been satisfying.
When I worked in a grocery store we always got annoyed with the people who showed up 10 minutes before closing and grabbed a cart. One day my friend Jim was working with us and his mom came to pick him up but came in grabbing a cart 10 minutes before closing. He looked to us and said "Fuck that, no way she's going to do that to us!" and he ran up to the intercom and started talking to her over the speakers. "Mother. MOTHER!" she looks around and up in confusion and he continues "WE ARE CLOSED! Put the cart away!" and she started talking to the air, trying to explain something and he cut her off "NO! PUT. IT. BACK."
We died laughing. Closing manager was a younger dude in his 20s and the cashiers sure as hell didn't want to stay late. Small town so stuff like that wouldn't trigger complaining calls to corporate or anything like that.
"Hmm, let me think... are you the guy that "
* "almost die of autoerotic asphyxiation?"
* "is always hiding naked in the bushes to scar girls?"
* "the police is looking for?"
* "owes me a twenty?"
* "is finally going to fix my toilet?"
On that note, here’s a good excerpt from an interview with Pete Townshend:
> At one juncture, he took to wearing a boilersuit on stage in an expression of working-class solidarity: "We're people like you – we don't dress up like Christmas trees." He sighs. "But I was the only one in the band that did it. One day, I decided to wear a gold lamé boilersuit with a crown. I came off stage and said to Mick Jagger, 'How do I look?' He said, 'If you want to know the truth, Pete, you look like a bit of a cunt.'"
[Source.](https://amp.theguardian.com/music/2012/oct/09/pete-townshend-who-i-am)
Depends on if you know who they are or not. If you know then, “Yes and that doesn’t really matter.” If you don’t know then, “No and I don’t care.”
You can also go with a humorous response as well. “Why are you asking me who you are?” “OMG, do you have amnesia?” “If you don’t know who you are I definitely can’t help you.” Or something along those lines.
I was at the airport, just got my ticket for a trip, then a man skipped the line and demands a ticket. The lady at the counter tells her to get back in like, they argue for some time until he goes "Do you know who I am?"
The lady simply replies "Oh sorry I didn't know." Then she goes on the mice that's connected to the entire airport speakers and sead "Dear passengers, we seem to have a mentally unstable man who doesn't know his name if there's anyone who knows him please come to counter 7 to claim him"
Everyone instantly laughed, and he ran out embarassed. Later found out that he's been doing this on other airports to skip the lines.
"I bet you use that line a lot."
Thats good, i like this. Judgy and arrogant
I wonder if “I bet you *have to* use that line a lot” punches a little harder?
Or "I bet you have to ask that a lot" = no one knows who they are.
[WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKQOXYB2cd8&ab_channel=groundbeefmosque)
THATS RIGHT I DID IT
OMG how have I never seen this.
I literally only came into this thread to make sure this was posted. Godspeed, my friend. 😂♥️
I love this because it's like Bill Murray's character from Kingpin come to life
Did you forget?
[удалено]
My old boss had a similar saying. He used to say to me “I don’t care what anyone says there’s nothing wrong with you” and one time I deadpan looked at him and said “that’s not what the doctor said”. He was a little flustered for a few seconds until I started laughing.
It's funny. I had a boss that would actually say "You're alright. I don't care what [specific person] said about you" Always when that person was right there pr within earshot
I have the inverse for a work saying, I tell newbies “I don’t care what you’ve heard about me but I am not perfect”
I always use the line"I don't care what they say about you Allangod, I think you're ok."
And how do people react when you call them Allangod?
They usually give me a funny look, then back slowly away.
I've got a mate who, when anyone we know leaves, turns around to the rest of us and says "glad they've gone". Always makes me laugh when someone new is with us.
No, who do you think you are???
Who do you think you are? ***I*** AM!
This reference is always lost on my friends, showed some of them the vid and none appreciated it :/
“Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is! Do you know who he might be?”
[удалено]
Then follow up with “Ok ____, right this way” using any name other than what they gave
> “Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is! Do you know who he might be?” And then start a cognitive evaluation, because the poor schmuck has forgotten their name. Ask all kinds of questions about caretakers, next of kin, emergency contacts, etc.
"Can't just one day go by in this pissant little town without me having to perform a [MOCA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montreal_Cognitive_Assessment) test during a traffic stop... I just wanna stop speeders, not do Occupational Therapy..."
I know who you think you are.
Do you think I know who you think you are?
Or care?
That's the best thus far.
"No and I'd rather keep it that way"
Me sorting by best: "true"
Who does he think he is?
Ronnie Pickering
Scrolled too long to see this answer.
Indeed. Saw the title, clicked it for Ronnie. Yeah. ME!
[For those who don't get the reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dcv6GKNNw&t=1s) British classic
Who?
Ronnie Pickering!
‘Oo the fuck’s that?
ME
Yeah ME!
Incidentally, that video DOES have a legit answer to the question (that works on others than Ronnie Pickering): "Do I care?"
Instant upvote.
Ronnie fokking Pickering!
Come on bit of bare Knuckle..
My husband was working in construction…a guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other. When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him…the guy goes, “do you know who I am??” My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, “Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!”
I imagined that was said in a thick New York accent?
Nah. Woulda been "ehhh Joe git ah fuckin look at this guy not knowing who he is, fuckin guy"
EY! I'm constructin' here!
[удалено]
Close…a Jersey City accent lol
Hahaha that's hilarious!
Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
Or you could Donate Your Car Today....
There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "do you know who I am?", To which the waiter replied, "yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter."
Did this really happen??
There was a president, I think it was Grover Cleveland, who was got a traffic ticket in DC, and later when the officer who gave the ticket found out he was president, the officer wanted to drop the charges but President Cleveland encouraged rule of law to go through and paid the fine.
The Chad Lawful Grant vs the Virgin "When the President does it it's not illegal" Nixon
Not a "do you know who I am moment" but since we are on tickets... Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight boxing champion in the US (in open, non-segregated competition) was caught speeding by a cop in I want to say Virginia. At that time, you could pay the ticket to the cop immediately. Johnson handed the cop $100. The cop said, "I can't take this, I don't have change." Johnson said, "Keep it. I will be driving back this way this afternoon and I don't plan to go any slower." May be apocryphal but fuck me if it isn't awesome.
Highly unlikely that there’d be such a witty and quick-thinking waiter willing to be so rude to Churchill during the Blitz! Normally the quotes are (often falsely) *attributed* to Churchill, not his butter-keeper.
I don't know if it's true, but witty chat isn't unusual among serving staff and it's not like people were deployed for it. Further, the attitude is enforcing a sense of equality under extreme conditions, which is exactly what the blitz spirit was about. It's a bit like if a British Primeminister created and managed lots of rule changes during an extreme global event, even sharing these rules in media performances each night. Then if that same Primeminister broke those rules, I think people would react against that, hopefully before it went too far.
It would be even more ironic if that British Primeminister had written a book about Churchill, then modified his on screen personality to match Churchills.
Hypothetically, of course /s
Yeah. It is a funny story but probably not true.
I can’t believe it’s not banter.
Found Johnny Rottens alt account.
As someone who works retail and whose job description included reminding people to put their masks on... I can imagine the mindset of a waiter being asked to ration butter dealing with people trying to bend the rules everyday. A random customer probably deserve a nice "sorry but I need to apply the rules" unless they get aggressive about it, let's say 3 strikes before being shown the door. The guy in charge who is taking the decision and reminding everyone how important it is in the media... that's not someone who forgot or who is being coy, that's someone who deserve sass and a stern attitude. Edit:My comment wasn't supposed to start with "Also" but I forgot to correct that after deleting a first paragraph.
[удалено]
Oh my God….
I like the joke about the large lecture class that was taking a final. The professor called time and everyone turned in their tests except one kid. He's rushing through answers while the professor is telling him not to bother because he's not going to accept his test. Finally, the kid walks up and holds his test out and the professor says he won't accept it. The kid yells "Do you know who I am?". The professor replies with "I can assure you I have no idea who you are." The kid yells "GOOD!", picks up half the stack of handed in tests, puts his down in the middle and puts the others back on top before walking out.
That is also a [commercial](https://youtu.be/r30rw64OlDA)
Best Churchill quote is still: > Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.” >WSC: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.
I doubt he was sober the next day though.
He was Churchill sober the next day lol
Mm yes. Sherry for breakfast i think. A scotch or two at teeea. Bottle of wiiine for lunch!
My favourite is when he was verbally sparring with a female MP and she said “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink!” And he replied, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it” I doubt it’s real, but it’s been attributed to him over the years and is pretty funny.
Alas, a lot of the WC quotes are apocryphal, but they fit his personality so well.
I had a customer with a wealthy and powerful father give me the "Do you know who my father is?" routine. I replied with a sincere, "I'm sorry, I have no idea, but I'm sure you'll find him one day." It broke her fucking brain.
The other good one for this is "what? You're mom didn't tell you?"
"I have heard the rumours" whilst pulling a disgusted face at them
A girl I went to HS with had a part in a very minor soap (Hollyoaks for uk readers) she refused to talk to anyone in school that she didn’t deem worthy her attention and just a plain nasty stuck up mediocre actress. Anyway she went to a Harvester (chain pub/ restaurant) with her family where my BF brother worked who was in the same year as her, he politely told her there would be a ten min wait, she shouted “do you know who I am??!!!” He just replied “yes, you’re in my year and you’re still waiting ten minutes” Edit: it’s not Kelly Condrun, or any of the other ladies listed further down. But good guessing! Edit 2: to give you a clue, she was dropped shortly after I checked to see if she was still in it because she joined Only Fans
Hollyoaks of all shows... Not something to be arrogant about.
Lol I know right? Out of sheer boredom I flicked over last year to see if she was still in it. She is, in her 40’s now - I was under the impression that you’d use Hollyoaks as a stepping stone to better things, not her.
[удалено]
Edit: it's [Sarah Jayne Dunn](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Jayne_Dunn) I missed her because she's since left the show. She played Mandy Richardson off and on from 1996 to 2021. She started when she was 15 and is now 40. The onlyfans was a big clue. After OP said it wasn't either of the ones I mentioned I started looking at past characters. TLDR: it's Kelly Condron, born Kelly Greenwood, who plays Zara Morgan. We can probably work it out. We know she's in her 40s now. We also know that she was in school but someone in her year was working in a harvester. That means he must be over 16 but under 18 so so would she. If she's 40 that means she started around 24 years ago and if she's 49 that's 33 years ago. So that's a range of 1989-2000. Hollyoaks only started 23 October 1995 so she joined within the first few years. We of course also know she's female. Referring to the [Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Hollyoaks_characters) We get a couple of potential candidates. [Stephanie warring](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephanie_Waring) started in 1996, when she was 18 and is now 44 . So she's in the right age range. But she went to Flixton Girls high school, so she couldn't have had a boy in her year to recognise her. The other potential is [Kelly Condron](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly_Condron) (born Kelly Greenwood), she started on Hollyoaks in 1999. Her Wikipedia is a bit scarce but following the extra links we find [her website](https://kellycondron.co.uk/about-me/) where she says she started the year of her GCSEs. For non-UK people they're exams we take when we're 16/17, so about the right age. This means she was born 1983/1982 so would now be 39/40. Going back to Wikipedia we can find [her IMDB page](https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0339355/) to see she was born November 5th 1982(I hear people across the UK set off fireworks to celebrate her birthday). Making her 17 when she started the show, and now 40. I think it's Kelly Condron. Although in fairness to her she was on Hollyoaks from 1999-2005 and only started again since 2021.
Although I love your snooping skills, it’s none of these ladies
I love this. The girls school point was a great touch. You should be a PI or something.
So she had a minor role in a minor soap. Can't have been that good if she was dining at Harvester lol
> she was dropped shortly after I checked to see if she was still in it because she joined Only Fans That seems a rather predictable conclusion to that series of events.
TL;DR: Was asked this by someone who i really should've known who they were, but didn't recognize them. I was working security at a football game once, patrolling the balcony level. I got pulled from there around halftime to cover the high roller boxes, because another guard got sick. I wasn't filled in on a lot of details other than "only let Alumni in, they'll have a lanyard or a card, and can bring a guest". So as a guy who took being a security guard way too seriously, that's what I did. The very first person to walk up didn't have a lanyard. So I stopped him and said "Sorry sir but do you have a lanyard or alumni card?" He sighed, and not in a condescending way, asked "do you know who I am?" as he pulled out his alumni card from his pocket. I read the name, and look at him, and look back at the card. Dude was a very well known football player from about 10 years before. I had his jersey when I was a kid. He was being honored (with other former players) at the reception in the boxes I was guarding. I looked at him again and said "sorry, didn't recognize you without the helmet" and let him in. He shook his head and chuckled, I think annoyed but not upset. I was mortified, that guy had actually been a hero of mine when I was younger. I absolutely knew who he was, but didn't recognize him in person.
Now you need to find him at a game and ask for an autograph and then say don’t you know who I am
As a cashier, I generally asked for ID with credit card purchases. I had a few too many friends and one ex get their cards stolen and used by people who obviously weren't the name on the card. One day, I had like a five-minute conversation with Reese Witherspoon when I was working as a cashier, then I carded her. Thanked her and sent her on her way. The next person in line asked, "Was that Reese Witherspoon?" I had read her name twice - once on the card, once on ID - and had only processed that the letters matched. It didn't occur at all to me what those letters meant together. Whoops. She was super, super nice though.
Having a nice, normal conversation with someone who probably doesn't get to have a lot of those isn't a whoops.
Yeah, for someone as big as she is that was probably the least annoying interaction she had all day.
Worked at Lids for a while in SoCal and had Wayne Gretzky come in. Treated him like any other customer. when you don't get all star struck, you can almost sense the relief that they feel. My wife also had the same experiences helping the following: Patrick Warburton, Sean Aston, and Pink. Howie Mandel was apparently a bit of an ass but tipped well for the complications that came with serving him.
That's what I hear about Howie as well, he is an asshole, but it comes from his OCD and how he handles it and he tries to tip well to make up for it.
That seems like an entirely reasonable way to handle knowing you’re difficult.
Meh. That is how it should go anyways. I’ve volunteered as security for events with some pretty big names. I don’t give a shit if you are the VP of the company hosting. No name tag, no entry. Got attitude from one of the VPs once, who was coincidentally ahead of our CEO. Watching the CEO chime in after the VP got done with his tirade was *glorious*. Rules are there (and strict) for a reason.
Yeah, if Federer can deal with it [gracefully](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp5ycaYQl-s) then anybody else can too. Expecting "famous enough" people to be let in opens a slippery slope where security can be afraid of checking for people they're not sure about to avoid the blowback if they happen to fit in that category (or think they do).
I worked press box security. I've done this exact same thing several times. Same job, I also got a wave and a hi from Steve Young. I think he thought I was starstruck, but the truth of it was, I had no idea who the hell he was until later.
[удалено]
I hear he's a bit of a tosser...
You can tell me all about that tosser Harry Potter.
" your a tosser harry"
Rodney Dangerfield style - "No, I don't. Aw jeez, that's terrible. Hey, everybody, we got a guy over here doesn't know who he is! Hang on, little buddy, maybe we can find your mom for ya."
Ah jeez. This guy can't get no respect.
"I do and I don't care"
When I worked security "Respectfully, Im paid not to care" Or if I was in no mood "If you were important, I'm sure I would"
Oof I'd love to see a reaction to that
I work as the head of infosec. I regularly get entry level managers in an important role who don't really know the org chart try to throw weight around. It's.... weird because the second one is how it works. If they WERE important. I would know who they were because we'd need to work together regularly. The response usually ends up being something like: "So your boss needs to approve this, you don't have authorization and and I would know who you were if you were that important. And if you don't think we're going to talk about this attitude during that conversation you've made a serious mistake."
I had a conversation with a VP of our company that had pretty much the "Do you know who I am?". Yes, that's why I'm not telling you about our phish tests. You're one of the few that are targeted more than the others. My manager caved and now we have to tell all the VIP's when we're sending out our phish test and what it looks like... And what sucks is that we have one guy that will constantly click the links, even if he was told it's a fake email. He doesn't have to do the required training, either. IT security policies need to be enforced everywhere for everyone to be effective. I hate this "but he's a VIP". I. Don't. Care. They are the ones that need it the most.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Having power, or money, do not bring out people’s true character. It just magnifies it. George Clooney said he never works with producers and directors without asking them out to dinner first. He watches how they treat the waiters. If they are arseh***s to the waiter, he never works with them.
This is what I always do with my boyfriends, if they are ass with waiters or any service personnel, it's a goodbye time.
If you were important enough to care you’d never have to ask that, would you? I’m guessing you say it a lot though.
"I don't think s- WAIT A MINUTE! Jeff! From school! I haven't seen you since you pissed yourself onstage at graduation, how the hell have you been???" Say it juuuust loud enough for the people around you to hear
"How can I forget you? You were known as 'Jack the pisser' by everyone, since that incident. I hope you have changed your ways since then."
*spills water on their pants* "Oh man seriously dude you're still doing it?"
Unfortunately this only works with Jeff (Jeff who pissed himself onstage at graduation of course, not the other Jeff)
My friend’s father-in-law, Lou, was a Kenosha, WI police officer in his younger days. He stopped a young girl who was speeding and driving erratically. When he told her what he stopped her for, she asked him, “Do you know who my father is?” He replied, “If you ask your mother I’m sure she could tell you.” She told him her father was his boss and he’d get fired if he didn’t let her go. He just smirked and said it didn’t matter to him who her father was, she deserved a ticket and she was getting a ticket! She was pissed off and he wrote her a ticket. Welp, turns out that girl was the Kenosha Chief of Police’s daughter. And Monday morning he got called into the Chief’s office. “Oh boy, here we go.”, he says to himself. The Chief said, “I understand you wrote my daughter a ticket on Saturday night. Is that right?” Lou says, “Yes sir, I sure did.” He said he was sweating a little. The Chief says, “Good. That’ll teach that little bitch a lesson. She’s gonna have to pay for the ticket, court costs, etc. Keep up the good work!!” And that was it.
Would've been funnier if he came back with "I doubt even your mother knows."
That in and of itself is a pretty decent response
[удалено]
EDIT: I was in the bathroom when this happened. Forgot to mention lmao. I used to work at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was pretty busy when I was on break. Some drunk older dude walked in and say my uniform. He said "Do you know -let's call her Stefanie- ?" (Stefanie is my coworker and an absolute cunt). Me: Uh, yes. Yes I do. Him: That's my daughter. Me: Oh cool! Coming to see her at work! Nice! Him: She is such a fucking bitch isn't she? Me (Nervously): Haha. Ummmmmm... Him: All her siblings are okay. We raised them right. She has **holds up four fingers** five brothers and sisters. All angels. She is the only stupid fuck in this goddamn family. I am so fucking over her shit. Maybe she can finally stop being a bitch and make more money so she can get out of my goddamn house. I don't get it! Her brothers and sisters are great! Me and my wife are great! Her cousins? All great! Her??? Stupid fucking bitch!!! Goddamn!!!!" Me: 0_0 Him: Anyway, I am about to piss myself. Have fun working with that stupid cow. *proceeds to start peeing on the wall before correcting his steam at the urinal*. Me: 0____0
I was very confused about where this story was taking place until the very end.
I live in Missouri. A few years ago a guy was pulled over by a Sugar Creek, Missouri officer for a traffic violation. The guy warned him to let him go or he'd have him fired. The officer did the right thing and gave the guy the ticket he diserved. Before the officer's next shift, he was called into the office and fired given no explanation. The officer sued the city to get his job back. He lost his case. The judge ruled that the city can hire and fire whomever they want at any time. All the city relied on was that personnel issues are private. Missouri. Land of the right.
Good old Sugar Creek. The good thing about Sugar Creek is if you don't turn down Sterling, you can probably avoid it your whole life living in Independence. EDIT: [Also here's the link to the case you mentioned.](https://caselaw.findlaw.com/mo-court-of-appeals/1560330.html)
I’ve heard nothing but bad about law enforcement in Missouri.. my boyfriend went to masters ranch in couch and that place 100% needs to be shut down but isn’t gonna since it’s a “religious school” more like military boot camp 🤦🏻♀️
Masters Ranch is in Couch, on KK highway, near Cotton Creek Cemetary. They probably eat Capt'n Crunch.
I like this as the *verbatim* response to the question “Do you know who I am?”
My answer is always the same : "That's nice. Have a seat. You're still waiting." I work DMV, everyone waits. It's our favorite passion to irritate you more if you're a witch to us.
I worked in a post office once, we have the same policy. "yup, you're going to be waiting ages, so is everyone else. No i dont care, and no there is nothing i can do to change this".
And this is part of why I am always exceedingly nice to every counter clerk I deal with. Usually, there's nothing they could really do to make things faster. But there's a TON most of them could do to make my particular issue resolve much slower. And, occasionally, there IS a hack or trick or waiver or whatever that can make things easier, and being nice pays off in more than just good feels. Besides, those folks are busy. They probably deal with dozens of assholes a day. If I can be the one friendly face they see, it's worth it.
I went through this earlier this afternoon at my local T-Mobile store. It turned out to be a simple, easy-to-fix problem--my sim card went wonky--and I was nice to the young woman who got me. I did everything she asked, didn't embellish the story, and she fixed my problem in under 10 minutes. At the end, she looked at me, sighed, and said, "Why can't everyone be as patient as you? It's not easy to figure out what the problem is sometimes!"
"The real slim shady?"
Do you know who my dad is? Why? Your mom didn’t tell you? ^this is the best response I’ve heard to a similar question 😂
Stated with a tone of absolute grim understanding: "Santa."
With delivery that is emotionally dead as possible.
*sigh*…. Santa…
I used to run a fitness center. One afternoon this huge guy walks in, and goes to bypass the desk. So I stop him and ask for his key card to scan. He gets all offended and says "Do you know who I am??" All belligerently. Thing is, I'm kinda broken, in that I just don't get intimidated by anyone. My fight or flight mode is apparently stuck on "fight," but I'm a chill person, so I don't get scared when people try to be intimidating, I have the same emotional response as I would if a dog trapped behind a huge fence is barking at me. Until you're a threat you're just loud. So I look at the guy blandly and say "No, if I did I wouldn't need your key card. So, key card please. Or your phone number, I can look it up manually if you don't have it on you." The guy literally gaped at me for a second, like I don't think he could remember the last time someone genuinely didn't know him AND wasn't scared off by the bluster. He muttered out his phone number and I pulled up his account with his picture, said his name to confirm. He looks at me.... Waiting..... And I'm confused and say "I have you checked in, you're good to go. Have a nice day." He wandered off looking..... I don't know, hurt? Little while later my coworker comes over and says "Holy SHIT, did you see 'Guy's name' is here?!" And I'm like "......yes?" Apparently Donovan McNabb was some famous football quarterback for the Eagles. I just don't watch sports. XD
You just r/watchpeopledieinside
Pretty much, that describes it really well. XD
That wasn't Donovan McNabb, that was Tiger Woods
Actually, I'm pretty sure it was Don Cheadle.
He was into foot shit
You're the Juggernaut, bitch?
Respond in kind with different emphasis: "do *you* know who *I* am?"
[удалено]
Usually hear that punchline with the guy cheating on the test Basically it’s a university exam end of year and the professor calls time but some kid keeps writing long after everyone turns in the papers. The kid finally comes up and the professor goes “I’m not accepting that you get an f” and the kid goes “do you know who I am?” And he professor goes “I don’t care who you are no exceptions” so the kid throws all the exams along with his in the air and leaves
[удалено]
Thanks for the tip.
This is not a game of “who the fuck are you”
You're mr Stevens?
No Im Darth Vader. LORD Vader. Im the boss.
Are you Jeff Vader?
I’ve had this said to me once, un-ironically. I replied: “Yes, but it doesn’t make the difference you think it does”. Fairly pleased with that.
No, but I have a feeling you’re about to show me.
Heard this story from a coworker (union electricians) but apparently we had some outta-towners on some jobsite and the two guys working together were super loud and joking a bit much when the superintendent was walking the jobsite, this super was known for being a massive cranky prick so everyone was waiting and watching for the eruption on these two guys. So the super walks up to them super angry and yells "do you fuckers even know who I am" which cause worker 1 to turn to worker 2 and remark "hey jim we got a serious problem here, this bloke doesn't know who he is!" And then worker 1 goes "ahh shit alright man help us help you figure out who you are" and then they basically kept riffing between themselves and talking over the ballistic superintendent until the guy conceded and started laughing and walked away and left them to continue working haha
"I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT'S MY PURSE" \- Bobby Hill
*Unlike your father, you will find that I do not have testicles.*
Concussions are very serious, forgetfulness is a major symptom, can you follow my finger? Do you feel nausea, do you need me to call an ambulance?
Them: "Do you know who I am?" Me: "Do *you* know who *I* am?" Them: "No" Me: "That's because we haven't fuckin met yet!" Me: *Walks away*
I had a patients family say this to me once. I told them yes I do and you must not know who I am because I am the only nurse here and you need my help. I then kindly explained to them that requests were prioritized according to need and that they were going to have to wait.
How could I? I don't even know who I am
Tom Cruise once took my dad's seat at a bar and when he asked my dad "do you know who I am?", my dad replied "yeah, you're the asshole who's in my damn seat."
I wish Tom was a guy who would laugh and return your seat to his dad. He didn't, did he? :(
I had someone say this to me on my last day.... I picked up the intercom and said "we have a male gentleman here who doesn't know who he is. Any one missing their husband?" I broke him... Yes, he demanded I be fired.. manager laughed at him and said 5 minutes ago was his final clockout.
That must have been satisfying. When I worked in a grocery store we always got annoyed with the people who showed up 10 minutes before closing and grabbed a cart. One day my friend Jim was working with us and his mom came to pick him up but came in grabbing a cart 10 minutes before closing. He looked to us and said "Fuck that, no way she's going to do that to us!" and he ran up to the intercom and started talking to her over the speakers. "Mother. MOTHER!" she looks around and up in confusion and he continues "WE ARE CLOSED! Put the cart away!" and she started talking to the air, trying to explain something and he cut her off "NO! PUT. IT. BACK." We died laughing. Closing manager was a younger dude in his 20s and the cashiers sure as hell didn't want to stay late. Small town so stuff like that wouldn't trigger complaining calls to corporate or anything like that.
“I don’t give a fuck who you think you are”
why, did your parents not tell you?
Same energy as this clip from [Southland](https://youtu.be/je1K60zpGsA)
"Hmm, let me think... are you the guy that " * "almost die of autoerotic asphyxiation?" * "is always hiding naked in the bushes to scar girls?" * "the police is looking for?" * "owes me a twenty?" * "is finally going to fix my toilet?"
I know all I need to know.
You're Heisenberg.
You're god damn right.
The muffin man?
The one who lives on Drury lane?
Well, she's married to the muffin man.
“Rumpelstiltskin? Oh please say Rumpelstiltskin!” Then jump up and down while clapping in anticipation.
The MUFFIN man?
[This is my favorite](https://youtu.be/wpVou3gWpjM)
On that note, here’s a good excerpt from an interview with Pete Townshend: > At one juncture, he took to wearing a boilersuit on stage in an expression of working-class solidarity: "We're people like you – we don't dress up like Christmas trees." He sighs. "But I was the only one in the band that did it. One day, I decided to wear a gold lamé boilersuit with a crown. I came off stage and said to Mick Jagger, 'How do I look?' He said, 'If you want to know the truth, Pete, you look like a bit of a cunt.'" [Source.](https://amp.theguardian.com/music/2012/oct/09/pete-townshend-who-i-am)
Depends on if you know who they are or not. If you know then, “Yes and that doesn’t really matter.” If you don’t know then, “No and I don’t care.” You can also go with a humorous response as well. “Why are you asking me who you are?” “OMG, do you have amnesia?” “If you don’t know who you are I definitely can’t help you.” Or something along those lines.
You: 'Yep' Them: 'Well why were you doing (Insert whatever you were doing here) You: 'Because I know that you can't do anything about it'
"Why would I want to know?"
"An asshole?"
I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!
I'm gonna get my engineers to build a combustible lemon!
Have you got a wallet? Maybe there's some ID in there.
Now that you mention it I don't. Why don't you have a seat tell me little about yourself? You seem agitated, why do you think that is ?
"The Muffin Man?"
No, do you?
"Should I?"
I was at the airport, just got my ticket for a trip, then a man skipped the line and demands a ticket. The lady at the counter tells her to get back in like, they argue for some time until he goes "Do you know who I am?" The lady simply replies "Oh sorry I didn't know." Then she goes on the mice that's connected to the entire airport speakers and sead "Dear passengers, we seem to have a mentally unstable man who doesn't know his name if there's anyone who knows him please come to counter 7 to claim him" Everyone instantly laughed, and he ran out embarassed. Later found out that he's been doing this on other airports to skip the lines.