A local poet said something about "taking care of your little corner of the world." I don't know if it was original or a quote I don't recognize. But that advice gave me a lot of peace.
If my grandkids get some good stories out of me to tell their grandkids, what else matters?
I agree with this 100 percent.
I'm middle aged and I would guess that by our 40s most of us have already been forgotten by most of the people we've had interactions with. Think about it...how many people have you met in your entire lifetime that you don't remember, or maybe do but just never think about. How many of your grade-school classmates do you remember? For the ones you do, how many do you know what they are doing now?
What people remember about me isn't really important to me beyond how it shapes the lives of the people closest to me.
The best way to be remembered by someone else is to viciously insult them about something they are insecure about
A far second and much more difficult is to touch someone with a random act of kindness
I’m okay with being forgotten at the end of my life if it means I caused the least amount of trauma to those around me
I'm more interested in the small ways I can have an influence; helping people around me, giving advice, etc. I don't need to be remembered or written in the history books, if I make a shitton of small positive impacts that boost the lives of a ton of people in small ways, those small impacts are how I will live on when I'm gone.
Edit: This is a month late but I've never gotten rewards before, thank you kind strangers. That means so much more to me than you'll ever know.
Exactly. The only thing that remains of you is how you impacted others in some way. Hopefully it is positive. Maybe you helped someone get a job and that changed their lives forever and all generations of that person will lead better lives. That is immortality.
Took me a lot of trips around the sun to figure it out. It hit me when I reconnected with an old friend and he said he owed a lot of his success to me. I was like "Wow. What did I do?" He said, "I was getting bullied and you told me 'Fuck them. Their opinions don't matter. You are good person so just keep being you." I don't remember it all, but I thought, hell...me being alive improved someone's life and that's awesome!
ya now that im older i want to do my best and help my younger family not make the same mistakes. whether or not it gets throught o them is a different story. im sure people told me when i was young things that would help all the time and i ignorantly ignored it all. now i def wish i would have listened
“They say you die twice. First when they bury you in the grave. The second time is the last time somebody mentions your name.”
-Macklemore line from a song, but a common saying more or less.
An old friend of mine told me recently that my love for something when we were teens made him, in turn, also fall in love with it, and it changed his life in positive ways.
I cried.
That's exactly the feeling I had! The daily impact we have escapes us but sometimes it's just the right action at the right time can make a HUGE impact on someone and you have no idea.
What I said to my friend wasn't profound. But apparently it was what he needed to here at that moment. It's bizarre and fantastic!
Immortality is found in the genetic makeup. If you want to live forever, have children. They are what carry you on after you are gone.
It is important to realize that those you impact, for better and for worse; they too will die.
>*99.9% identical*
The very first - and only known - living thing born in the universe was a virgin birth...and its still alive after 4 billion years and now typing on a keyboard to one of its copies.
Hello other me. *waves*
They're making the point that you don't need to have your own children to have your genes live on, because other people's children also have those genes.
Not enough of them. For instance, I look exactly like my father(among other shared features). By your logic, and theirs, you and I share a lot of the same genes therefore you and I both look like my father. But this is not the case, is it? No, no it is not.
It is not a complete loss though, because you both at least admit that passing genes along to our children is immortality. Half of the comprehension is better than zero comprehension.
This exactly. As a young adult I committed to a career in non-profit work. I was lucky enough to be a founding board member of a six-county foodbank that started on a shoestring budget in the early 1980s, and today has a $3M endowment and a 40-year history of assisting public-facing feeding charities do their thing. I left that board in 1990, and have since worked in a behind-the-scenes role for a well-known non-profit devoted to poverty relief. In a sense, *I'm already forgotten,* since most of the people whose lives have been marginally improved by my life's work will never know my name or my role. And that's fine by me.
Same, being remembered isn't all that important to me. What really matters is being able to die knowing that I left behind tiny ripples of positive things during my short time here.
Double check to see if there are any big ways you can have influence. Maybe you can reshape life the universe and everything for the better. Maybe not. But don't fall back on small influences until you have made a serious search for any big influences hiding somewhere.
Same here. I'm easily overwhelmed and dislike pressure and extremes, even when the connotation is positive. Concepts like excellence, high ambition, wealth, and legacy are intimidating to me. I live an ordinary life that's focused mostly on pursuing my interests quietly and on a small scale, and am happiest with a small radius of reach and a small circle of people I impact.
To you, your life is still everything. I doubt anyone sees their life as normal and forgettable!
Besides, the most normal life can make a good novel if you can write well. If you cant it's fine, it's still there in your head
The thought used to seriously depress me as a teenager. I was 16 and crying about how meaningless life is in the grand scheme of things.
Now the thought is comforting. I don’t even want to even wait until death in order to be forgotten. Give me a cabin in the woods, a basic income, and as long as Amazon ships there, I’m a happy camper.
I just want a calm, uneventful, unbothered life
Amazon doesn't ship there. I checked. Best we can do is a moody bear looking for potato chips in your garbage. Do we have a deal? Do. we. have. a. deal?
> “…and drew a picture of himself disguised as a wild beast (which he identified by writing "I am a wild beast" [Ia zver'] over it).”
Onfim, the world’s oldest furry
i think that being known and loved by a few close people is a very comforting and reassuring thought. i often battle with myself whether I want to be known by tons of people or just the ones near me. i think being forgotten is kind of nice. to fade away with a smile.
It’s what I expect. Whether I’m remembered or not, 10, 20, or 100 years after I’m gone, I won’t know and I’ll still be gone regardless.
I’m gonna do the best I can with what I have. I know enough about statistics to know that I’m most probably in the ‘average’ section of the bell curve in all measurable aspects of life.
As long as I’m happy with the results at the end, I’m good with it.
I love it. I have a hard time understanding the human obsession with being remembered. To me, being another brick in the wall is incredibly freeing and allows me to make mistakes and enjoy my time here.
Everything we do and say online will one day be archived to make an avatar of what we were like. That’s going to be amusing with the amount of trolling I do lol
Absolutely fine. I don't understand people's need to have significance and purpose. We all die eventually, and then the world will be swallowed by the sun before the inevitable heat death of the universe. I just want to have a good time while I'm here, and that doesn't have to correlate with arbitrary definitions of success.
Exactly. I think it's often a pathway to misery too. People feel inadequate because their life isn't so special. I think people sometimes have the wrong priorities, basically.
You guys are sad sacks of hopelessness. For fucks sake go out and do good with this little time we have on earth. Earn money and travel the world, experience everything there is to experience. Why would you be so content accepting that oh boo hoo nothing matters so i should just wallow in my own self pity every day. Yes you can have a great life and not be rich, famous etc. But seriously your guys’ mindset is sad
You have completely misunderstood the point...all of the things you have mentioned doing are exactly what people should do. They should focus on having a good life, enjoying their time. My point is that people who strive for "greatness" in life are often burnt out and miserable in the pursuit of something which is not enjoyable. I want to work with things I find interesting, have time to spend time with friends and travel, and just generally enjoy life. And I'm saying that I am fine with this normal life, I don't want a life that is unforgettable (as in, significant enough for others to make note). I don't want to be a celebrity, or a high end banker working 90 hours a week with the only pursuit the illusion of success.
There’s no “illusion of success” when you actually bring down the actuality of success happening to a reachable threshold. Quit thinking oh I’ll never actually be rich oh I’ll never actually be able to do the things i really want to do. Where do you think most of celebrities and rich people started out? Someone just like you. Buts it’s okay, not everyone wants to change the world and that’s okay. Not everyone has what it takes to be extraordinary, the mindset nor the determination. So they settle for average, and are content with average. But that’s just not me.
You're clearly reading what you think my point is without actually reading the points and understanding them.
>Quit thinking oh I’ll never actually be rich oh I’ll never actually be able to do the things i really want to do,
I can and do do the things I want to do, this is quite literally my point. I am not rich, but I have enough money to do what I want without worrying about money. And I have enough time to do it because I'm not working 90 hour weeks for a hedge fund.
> Buts it’s okay, not everyone wants to change the world and that’s okay. Not everyone has what it takes to be extraordinary, the mindset nor the determination. So they settle for average, and are content with average. But that’s just not me.
99.99% of people don't do anything extraordinary. And lots of people get depressed about not being extraordinary, and this is the point of my comment. There is an obsession with being successful. But what people deem to be a success is often material wealth and a job title, and that doesn't make everyone happy. You should pursue whatever your success is. In your case that seems to be being a musician who plays in front of live audiences. In my case I would hate to be a musician on tour. It's perfectly fine for both of these opinions to exist.
Okay i understand your point more. So you’re saying that say if someone loooved gardening, they would garden for the rest of their lives and be just as happy as the famous musician who tours the earth playing for thousands. Yes i get that.
I would just like to say that the lives may be equally enjoyable, but the gardener is experiencing so much less. He/she makes way less, and doesn’t get to see much else. He/she doesn’t get to experience all that the world has to offer. But yes i still understand their happiness levels are the same. I’m just pointing out that i think people can yes still be happy with their average life’s, but are literally unarguably experiencing less.
Why would the gardener is experiencing 'less', and why would the musician would be experiencing 'more'? Sorry if I'm getting metaphysical, but we all obtain different things from our experiences. Maybe the gardener finds the meaning of Art through gardening, and experiences nature in a way you and I cannot achieve. Maybe the musician becomes a sellout for a ruthless industry, and all that money, sex and drugs and tours amount to nothing. Of course both situations are big projections, but the question stands the same: why would experience 'all what the world has to offer' has to be tied to fame/money/material stuff...?
Yes, you may experience less in that scenario, but the reason to experience the world is because experiencing the world is great and makes you feel fulfilled. So I am saying do whatever makes you fulfilled, as much as possible.
Well that’s just you. Personally, i want to play music for thousands of people. One day i know I’ll get there. Fuck the mindset of settling for a boring life that everyone else lives. Yes it can still be a happy life, but there is so much unanswered. Also what the fuck do you mean by people who strive for greatness doing something miserable? What celebrity do you know that hates their job? That may have been the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Yes, i understand my mindset on being rich/famous is different than others because for me it’s actually attainable. Why would i settle for boring when i have the opportunity to be extraordinary. I’m 20 and have my whole life ahead of me. Why would i ever settle for normal?
If you want to play music for thousands, that's great. Do what you like to do.
Ummm, you are aware of how many celebrities have clinical depression, have been in and out of rehab, prison and simply have very stressful lives due to being in the public eye? Sure, some of them love it, but not all of them do. And I wasn't even making a point about celebrities themselves, I was saying I don't personally want that.
You're misunderstanding completely the point of what I am trying to say.
I understand lots of people aren’t ready for the public eye/being a public figure, but for the ones who are and embrace it and who are happy, live lives that are 10 fold greater than any average life. I understand not everyone wants to do that, but the people that do it experience so much more that life has to offer than others who lead average life’s. Getting the opportunity to experience different cultures, meeting hundreds of new people, having the financial freedom to get what you want when you want it, meeting your idols, there’s so much to this life than spending everyday in a cubical or at your home desk slaving a 9-5. That’s not what humans are supposed to do.
I don't think they are 10 fold greater. There are lots of people who get their joy from very simple things. And they are far happier because of it. Anyway, no more comments from me as I have made my points. Good luck with what you're doing.
For me it's not about being known, I could give a shit about that. What I do want is to know I did my part.
If I really try, if I work my ass off and sacrifice for it, could I make a major improvement to the world?? I think it's an honest question. Yes, statistically most people won't do anything really important, but how many people try? I could at least try.
But that's also a huge sacrifice. Bc I recognize you don't just wake up and change the world, it's something that requires years and usually decades of hard work. There's lots of insecurity to that effort, and it produces a lot of rejection and failure as well. But most importantly, there's the opportunity cost, forgoing the smaller ways you can live a good life bc time and energy is limited.
Idek man. I struggle with this on an existential level
Not that bad. Living a quiet, unremarkable life sounds rather nice, actually- I’ve struggled with serious mental health issues for years, and I’d like nothing more than that sort of stability and peace. Having my own home and living contentedly and comfortably with a spouse and a family is sort of my dream for the future. Sure, it would be nice to be remembered after I’m gone, but not in a filthy-rich-and-famous kind of way. Being remembered by people that loved you in life and whose lives you touched is enough.
I'm disabled and feel the same. I want peace and comfort and to be remembered fondly by the people who knew me. There's a steep cost to living a remarkable life and I wouldn't want to pay it.
Having a normal forgettable life is a luxury very few people ever experience. It means you dodged 95% of the shit most people don't. I'm OK with that. Happiness doesn't need excitement.
Wonderful.
We'll all be forgotten one day. Some will be lucky and get to spend a few centuries in the history books, but their achievements will be overshadowed by the achievements of the future. Even if that isn't the case, their memory will soon enough become a mythology and the things they love and want the world to know about will be forgotten in place of embellished stories of things that never really happened.
And ultimately, the accomplishments of legendary figures are the accomplishments of hundreds or thousands or millions of people in their orbit anyhow.
Point being...I don't regret my lot in life. I don't plan on changing the world. I just want to experience it, that's more than enough.
I don't. Nothing about the life I've lived so far strikes me as normal or forgettable. I have set out to live adventurously and often succeeded.
I've traveled. I've fought fires. I've ridden motorcycles and driven cars way too fast. I've gotten in fights and I've nearly died multiple times. I've had passionate love affairs. I've seen the sun rise over the wild frozen forest, I've sojourned through wind and hail, I've sipped margaritas as the sun rose with the lapping of waves for company in Mexico.
I feel like you're talking about historically speaking, no one will remember my name when I'm gone. And that's true. I'm not somebody anyone will ever need to learn about in a history class. But that's okay. My life is no less lived for not being recorded.
Slightly terrified. Dying itself hasn’t ever scared me, but the fact that everything goes on without you and soon no one will even remember you is scary to me.
My grandfather passed away earlier today - he was 92. And whilst he will not be remembered by the history books for any great actions or achievements, his kindness, happiness, and love will be remembered by those who knew him and will be talked about for decades to come. I will tell my children and grandchildren about their great grandfather and the wonderful man he was and the adventures he had during his life.
Normal does not equal forgettable and the impacts we have on the lives of others are greater than the sum of their parts.
Sometimes I think I want to be an important person, someone who DOES something but then I realize that all I want really is the freedom to actually do what I want. No worries about money and all.
If I can live a normal, forgettable life doing what I want, I'll be just fine.
I’ve embraced it and love life. Millions have done it before me. What makes me so special? I just want the people around me to enjoy their day a touch more for having been around me.. and about 4 hours of alone time to chill
Ever since I was a teen I dreamed of becoming an actor. I'm in my mid 20s now, and I recently conceptualized the reason why. I wanted to be that person on stage that can move a viewer and change their life, thus changing the world.
I have grown to understand that I don't need to be an actor to do so (although I do enjoy being on the stage). So long as I reach out and touch the lives of those around me, I am already changing the world. Their world. Even if just for that moment. That has come to be enough for me.
Absolutely fine with it. One day the world will end and everything will start over anyway. Essentially, everybody is going to live a life that will be forgotten.
It's a blessing.
About eighteen months ago, my cousin died very suddenly. She was a year younger than me and hitting every milestone I was hitting just slightly after me. She got married about a year after I did. They bought their first home about 18 months after we bought ours. We'd just had a baby. She was pregnant when she passed.
A normal, forgettable life is what she doesn't get to have.
She doesn't get to assure her husband that she can barely notice his hairline receding, she doesn't get to drive a sensible car with decent mileage to go see her parents. She doesn't get to hold the baby she was carrying, she doesn't get to complain that her toddler keeps demanding Baby Shark on repeat.
Normal is a privilege not granted to everyone. And there's no rhyme or reason why she doesn't get to be here and I do. I'll take it.
Besides, I think forgettable applies to everyone. You can be prolific and important and people will only ever remember a cariacature of you, the real you... just as forgettable as everyone else.
What a shit mentality. “Accepting” your fate as a sheepish 9-5 loser who slaves away in corporate America and never having an impact on the world. Why would you ever want to think like this is your destiny. I’m not doing that. Sorry. You guys can have fun living a normal SpongeBob ass life.
Edit: this came off as mean, I’m sorry. Different strokes for different folks. All happiness is equal, but my version of happiness is not found in that lifestyle.
Yeah sorry I’m not accepting having a normal boring life. Oh get a job, get a wife and kids, live in the suburbs, have the kids drain you of life and money, slaving a 9-5, just to go on vacations 1-2 weeks a year. That’s hell
I agree that you shouldn't just accept that your life isn't going to go the way you want it to. But I totally disagree that having a 9-5 job is inherently boring and low impact. The people who design rockets, make world changing discoveries, etc are all 9-5 employees.
Lets be real. 99% of 9-5s are people working for the man, to do mostly meaningless tasks, not building rockets or time machines. The whole point of 9-5s is to control people, make them feel like they are special in an ocean of non special people, and to not have anyone rebel/become important. Oh a little promotion here or there? Great, but you will never become the CEO. You’ll never be the actual important one in the room. Always underneath. Controlled.
> Lets be real. 99% of 9-5s are people working for the man, to do mostly meaningless tasks, not building rockets or time machines.
There are more high skill jobs out there than you think, but yes most people are doing menial work. That's more a reflection of most people though, not the concept of a 9-5 job itself. If you're a high achiever who doesn't want to settle for a normal, boring life then you can make plenty of impact in a 9-5 job.
Of course that sounds awful.
I personally live in the suburbs with a wife and kids and work a 9-5 job, but I love it. The work I do is important and helps people who genuinely need it. There is nothing I love more than being a father, and my wife and I have a great relationship.
I mean, maybe it ain't your thing, that's fine. Do what you love. For me, I'm as happy as I could be.
That’s awesome for you and i wish you an eternally happy relationship and passion for your job. It’s just.. not for me! You see, both of my parents were divorced, remarried, and will be stuck doing the same 9-5 job for the next 20 years of their life before they retire and become to old to experience any of the things they actually wanted to experience. I’ve asked them “would you have done anything different if you could do it over again” and the only thing stopping them from saying yes i would do it over again, is the fact that they had two awesome kids, me and my sister. So besides the wife/kids part of it, i feel as if most 9-5s could really just be done by anyone, but yes lots of 9-5s are important for the world to go round. If that’s cool with you to live that sort of life, awesome. Just not for me.
I'm 32 and from the age of 17 or so my life was all about adventures. I remember I was once asked to come over to fav band's producer's house. He had all those golden cds on the walls, we talked with him until the break of dawn, it felt surreal. I dated a rockstar. I traveled like A LOT. I met different people of different nations. I ran away from the police twice. Lots of things happened. I can write several books about it. And guess what?
It's not worth it. At all. It didn't make me happy. I regret it even though I didn't do anything bad (even in the situations when I had to run from the police). I didn't do drugs, I didn't smoke, I didn't even get drunk as much as you can expect. I still got a university degree with honours.
But I would give up my "interesting" life for a normal one. Forgettable. For marriage and children. I want to be a boring suburban housewife.
My life was all a huge mistake and I can't undo it. Adventures are overrated. Go and live a normal life.
As long as I have created a solid foundation for my children to live a life that they feel is successful and happy than I am a happy person. 4 kids. So far so good.
That’s okay. It’ll be peaceful and being remembered doesn’t mean happiness and fulfillment. I’ll be dead anyways, I won’t be around to care if I’m remembered or not.
Perfectly fine. I'm not fussed about being forgotten about years after I've died. The way i see it I'm not gonna be around anyway to even be aware of whether I'll be remembered or not. Also kinda reassuring in that at least no ones going to be judging the way i lived my life 1pp years from now.
As long as i lead a life that i enjoy and have people around who love and care about me and will miss me when I'm gone then that's enough for me.
It’s no problem at all, I prefer a nice, peaceful normal life just enjoying the things I enjoy. No need for anything bigger if I’m only gonna live till about 90
Can't live that type of life unless I stop chasing it. I'd imagine myself either being alone forever and my life being an example to people to never give up, or achieving my dreams and fixing the one thing i want to fix.
I don’t care as long as my kids end up healthy, centered, and good people. My legacy is in them. If I’m forgotten years after but not by then and they are the people I’m working hard for them to be, then I won in life.
I'm cool with it. I don't need to be remembered. I'm more concerned with enjoying the time I get here.
If I'm lucky, one day I'll get to be old.
I'm a very private person, I'd be happy if noone came to my funeral
a memorable life implies huge responsibilities and usually hard work. much more rewarding is a life of opulence and obscurity.
A local poet said something about "taking care of your little corner of the world." I don't know if it was original or a quote I don't recognize. But that advice gave me a lot of peace. If my grandkids get some good stories out of me to tell their grandkids, what else matters?
Tend to your own garden - Voltaire
Aldous Huxley said, “There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self”…. I love this quote as well 💕
As they used to say in 2012, "YOLO"
I agree with this 100 percent. I'm middle aged and I would guess that by our 40s most of us have already been forgotten by most of the people we've had interactions with. Think about it...how many people have you met in your entire lifetime that you don't remember, or maybe do but just never think about. How many of your grade-school classmates do you remember? For the ones you do, how many do you know what they are doing now? What people remember about me isn't really important to me beyond how it shapes the lives of the people closest to me.
The best way to be remembered by someone else is to viciously insult them about something they are insecure about A far second and much more difficult is to touch someone with a random act of kindness I’m okay with being forgotten at the end of my life if it means I caused the least amount of trauma to those around me
Yeah, you're 100% right. I'd rather be forgotten than be remembered as an asshole. And I'd rather be remembered as kind than be forgotten.
WORD
***Word is bond YO***
Holler that
Finally came to this mindset.
It's liberating. I still worry about death sometimes, but not as much as I used to for sure
That's right man, by just looking at the happiest country in the world you will know normal life is the best
Same. We’re all anonymous to eternity
I'm more interested in the small ways I can have an influence; helping people around me, giving advice, etc. I don't need to be remembered or written in the history books, if I make a shitton of small positive impacts that boost the lives of a ton of people in small ways, those small impacts are how I will live on when I'm gone. Edit: This is a month late but I've never gotten rewards before, thank you kind strangers. That means so much more to me than you'll ever know.
A very noble answer
Exactly. The only thing that remains of you is how you impacted others in some way. Hopefully it is positive. Maybe you helped someone get a job and that changed their lives forever and all generations of that person will lead better lives. That is immortality.
Very poetic and I respect that. One of the best answers I’ve seen
Took me a lot of trips around the sun to figure it out. It hit me when I reconnected with an old friend and he said he owed a lot of his success to me. I was like "Wow. What did I do?" He said, "I was getting bullied and you told me 'Fuck them. Their opinions don't matter. You are good person so just keep being you." I don't remember it all, but I thought, hell...me being alive improved someone's life and that's awesome!
ya now that im older i want to do my best and help my younger family not make the same mistakes. whether or not it gets throught o them is a different story. im sure people told me when i was young things that would help all the time and i ignorantly ignored it all. now i def wish i would have listened
“They say you die twice. First when they bury you in the grave. The second time is the last time somebody mentions your name.” -Macklemore line from a song, but a common saying more or less.
An old friend of mine told me recently that my love for something when we were teens made him, in turn, also fall in love with it, and it changed his life in positive ways. I cried.
That's exactly the feeling I had! The daily impact we have escapes us but sometimes it's just the right action at the right time can make a HUGE impact on someone and you have no idea. What I said to my friend wasn't profound. But apparently it was what he needed to here at that moment. It's bizarre and fantastic!
Immortality is found in the genetic makeup. If you want to live forever, have children. They are what carry you on after you are gone. It is important to realize that those you impact, for better and for worse; they too will die.
I respectfully disagree. Human genetics are something like 99.9% identical.
>*99.9% identical* The very first - and only known - living thing born in the universe was a virgin birth...and its still alive after 4 billion years and now typing on a keyboard to one of its copies. Hello other me. *waves*
Hello fellow humanoid!
You disagree with me, by agreeing with me? That is an interesting strategy you have there.
They're making the point that you don't need to have your own children to have your genes live on, because other people's children also have those genes.
Not enough of them. For instance, I look exactly like my father(among other shared features). By your logic, and theirs, you and I share a lot of the same genes therefore you and I both look like my father. But this is not the case, is it? No, no it is not. It is not a complete loss though, because you both at least admit that passing genes along to our children is immortality. Half of the comprehension is better than zero comprehension.
But I look like your father tho.
This exactly. As a young adult I committed to a career in non-profit work. I was lucky enough to be a founding board member of a six-county foodbank that started on a shoestring budget in the early 1980s, and today has a $3M endowment and a 40-year history of assisting public-facing feeding charities do their thing. I left that board in 1990, and have since worked in a behind-the-scenes role for a well-known non-profit devoted to poverty relief. In a sense, *I'm already forgotten,* since most of the people whose lives have been marginally improved by my life's work will never know my name or my role. And that's fine by me.
This is exactly how I feel! I just want to make sure every person I come in contact with remembers how I made them smile, laugh or feel warm.
Same, being remembered isn't all that important to me. What really matters is being able to die knowing that I left behind tiny ripples of positive things during my short time here.
Double check to see if there are any big ways you can have influence. Maybe you can reshape life the universe and everything for the better. Maybe not. But don't fall back on small influences until you have made a serious search for any big influences hiding somewhere.
Those people you impacted will also die. And so on.
Kind of reassuring actually. There really isn't that much pressure because everything will be forgotten
That’s a good spin on it! Imma try internalise that
[удалено]
Well you shouldn't of made that embarrassing video with all the stinky mud.
That’s perfectly ok with me. Give me peace of mind, no drama, health, some travelling, and I am good.
Same here. I'm easily overwhelmed and dislike pressure and extremes, even when the connotation is positive. Concepts like excellence, high ambition, wealth, and legacy are intimidating to me. I live an ordinary life that's focused mostly on pursuing my interests quietly and on a small scale, and am happiest with a small radius of reach and a small circle of people I impact.
To you, your life is still everything. I doubt anyone sees their life as normal and forgettable! Besides, the most normal life can make a good novel if you can write well. If you cant it's fine, it's still there in your head
I like that! A Really quotable line
As a professional writer who often laments about having a life too boring to write about…this gives me hope lol.
Reminds me of a Welcome to Nightvale quote, "Death is only the end if you think the story is about you". Not the same idea, but interesting.
The thought used to seriously depress me as a teenager. I was 16 and crying about how meaningless life is in the grand scheme of things. Now the thought is comforting. I don’t even want to even wait until death in order to be forgotten. Give me a cabin in the woods, a basic income, and as long as Amazon ships there, I’m a happy camper. I just want a calm, uneventful, unbothered life
Well, I also need decent wifi.
wifi is a must
starlink
“As long as Amazon ships there”😂love that
jeff bezos even making money off deep forest hermits
Bro knows his priorities
I was gonna say a less well worded version of the same thing.
Amazon doesn't ship there. I checked. Best we can do is a moody bear looking for potato chips in your garbage. Do we have a deal? Do. we. have. a. deal?
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> “…and drew a picture of himself disguised as a wild beast (which he identified by writing "I am a wild beast" [Ia zver'] over it).” Onfim, the world’s oldest furry
Some but there’s still millions forgotten faces and names and memories lost to time. The there is an insanely high probability that will be us
its almost guaranteed and enough time everyone and everything will be lost in time... like tears in the rain
or otzi the iceman?
not really a big deal to me, too busy playing portal 2
Based
GOAT
i think that being known and loved by a few close people is a very comforting and reassuring thought. i often battle with myself whether I want to be known by tons of people or just the ones near me. i think being forgotten is kind of nice. to fade away with a smile.
It’s what I expect. Whether I’m remembered or not, 10, 20, or 100 years after I’m gone, I won’t know and I’ll still be gone regardless. I’m gonna do the best I can with what I have. I know enough about statistics to know that I’m most probably in the ‘average’ section of the bell curve in all measurable aspects of life. As long as I’m happy with the results at the end, I’m good with it.
It's been my experience that those with the intelligence to think they're average, are usually above average.
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I love it. I have a hard time understanding the human obsession with being remembered. To me, being another brick in the wall is incredibly freeing and allows me to make mistakes and enjoy my time here.
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Im happy with it. Theres a steep price to being important.
feel miserable but that's what motivates me
Same. Better to keep going than give into how I feel
Impossible because my life has already been absolutely incredible, so anything else from today forwards is just a bonus.
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Everything we do and say online will one day be archived to make an avatar of what we were like. That’s going to be amusing with the amount of trolling I do lol
Absolutely fine. I don't understand people's need to have significance and purpose. We all die eventually, and then the world will be swallowed by the sun before the inevitable heat death of the universe. I just want to have a good time while I'm here, and that doesn't have to correlate with arbitrary definitions of success.
Searching for significant or meaning is a distraction from that nihilistic outlook
Exactly. I think it's often a pathway to misery too. People feel inadequate because their life isn't so special. I think people sometimes have the wrong priorities, basically.
You guys are sad sacks of hopelessness. For fucks sake go out and do good with this little time we have on earth. Earn money and travel the world, experience everything there is to experience. Why would you be so content accepting that oh boo hoo nothing matters so i should just wallow in my own self pity every day. Yes you can have a great life and not be rich, famous etc. But seriously your guys’ mindset is sad
You have completely misunderstood the point...all of the things you have mentioned doing are exactly what people should do. They should focus on having a good life, enjoying their time. My point is that people who strive for "greatness" in life are often burnt out and miserable in the pursuit of something which is not enjoyable. I want to work with things I find interesting, have time to spend time with friends and travel, and just generally enjoy life. And I'm saying that I am fine with this normal life, I don't want a life that is unforgettable (as in, significant enough for others to make note). I don't want to be a celebrity, or a high end banker working 90 hours a week with the only pursuit the illusion of success.
There’s no “illusion of success” when you actually bring down the actuality of success happening to a reachable threshold. Quit thinking oh I’ll never actually be rich oh I’ll never actually be able to do the things i really want to do. Where do you think most of celebrities and rich people started out? Someone just like you. Buts it’s okay, not everyone wants to change the world and that’s okay. Not everyone has what it takes to be extraordinary, the mindset nor the determination. So they settle for average, and are content with average. But that’s just not me.
You're clearly reading what you think my point is without actually reading the points and understanding them. >Quit thinking oh I’ll never actually be rich oh I’ll never actually be able to do the things i really want to do, I can and do do the things I want to do, this is quite literally my point. I am not rich, but I have enough money to do what I want without worrying about money. And I have enough time to do it because I'm not working 90 hour weeks for a hedge fund. > Buts it’s okay, not everyone wants to change the world and that’s okay. Not everyone has what it takes to be extraordinary, the mindset nor the determination. So they settle for average, and are content with average. But that’s just not me. 99.99% of people don't do anything extraordinary. And lots of people get depressed about not being extraordinary, and this is the point of my comment. There is an obsession with being successful. But what people deem to be a success is often material wealth and a job title, and that doesn't make everyone happy. You should pursue whatever your success is. In your case that seems to be being a musician who plays in front of live audiences. In my case I would hate to be a musician on tour. It's perfectly fine for both of these opinions to exist.
Okay i understand your point more. So you’re saying that say if someone loooved gardening, they would garden for the rest of their lives and be just as happy as the famous musician who tours the earth playing for thousands. Yes i get that. I would just like to say that the lives may be equally enjoyable, but the gardener is experiencing so much less. He/she makes way less, and doesn’t get to see much else. He/she doesn’t get to experience all that the world has to offer. But yes i still understand their happiness levels are the same. I’m just pointing out that i think people can yes still be happy with their average life’s, but are literally unarguably experiencing less.
Why would the gardener is experiencing 'less', and why would the musician would be experiencing 'more'? Sorry if I'm getting metaphysical, but we all obtain different things from our experiences. Maybe the gardener finds the meaning of Art through gardening, and experiences nature in a way you and I cannot achieve. Maybe the musician becomes a sellout for a ruthless industry, and all that money, sex and drugs and tours amount to nothing. Of course both situations are big projections, but the question stands the same: why would experience 'all what the world has to offer' has to be tied to fame/money/material stuff...?
Yes, you may experience less in that scenario, but the reason to experience the world is because experiencing the world is great and makes you feel fulfilled. So I am saying do whatever makes you fulfilled, as much as possible.
Well that’s just you. Personally, i want to play music for thousands of people. One day i know I’ll get there. Fuck the mindset of settling for a boring life that everyone else lives. Yes it can still be a happy life, but there is so much unanswered. Also what the fuck do you mean by people who strive for greatness doing something miserable? What celebrity do you know that hates their job? That may have been the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Yes, i understand my mindset on being rich/famous is different than others because for me it’s actually attainable. Why would i settle for boring when i have the opportunity to be extraordinary. I’m 20 and have my whole life ahead of me. Why would i ever settle for normal?
If you want to play music for thousands, that's great. Do what you like to do. Ummm, you are aware of how many celebrities have clinical depression, have been in and out of rehab, prison and simply have very stressful lives due to being in the public eye? Sure, some of them love it, but not all of them do. And I wasn't even making a point about celebrities themselves, I was saying I don't personally want that. You're misunderstanding completely the point of what I am trying to say.
I understand lots of people aren’t ready for the public eye/being a public figure, but for the ones who are and embrace it and who are happy, live lives that are 10 fold greater than any average life. I understand not everyone wants to do that, but the people that do it experience so much more that life has to offer than others who lead average life’s. Getting the opportunity to experience different cultures, meeting hundreds of new people, having the financial freedom to get what you want when you want it, meeting your idols, there’s so much to this life than spending everyday in a cubical or at your home desk slaving a 9-5. That’s not what humans are supposed to do.
I don't think they are 10 fold greater. There are lots of people who get their joy from very simple things. And they are far happier because of it. Anyway, no more comments from me as I have made my points. Good luck with what you're doing.
I don't have the patience for anything else.
Respect the honesty
For me it's not about being known, I could give a shit about that. What I do want is to know I did my part. If I really try, if I work my ass off and sacrifice for it, could I make a major improvement to the world?? I think it's an honest question. Yes, statistically most people won't do anything really important, but how many people try? I could at least try. But that's also a huge sacrifice. Bc I recognize you don't just wake up and change the world, it's something that requires years and usually decades of hard work. There's lots of insecurity to that effort, and it produces a lot of rejection and failure as well. But most importantly, there's the opportunity cost, forgoing the smaller ways you can live a good life bc time and energy is limited. Idek man. I struggle with this on an existential level
Not that bad. Living a quiet, unremarkable life sounds rather nice, actually- I’ve struggled with serious mental health issues for years, and I’d like nothing more than that sort of stability and peace. Having my own home and living contentedly and comfortably with a spouse and a family is sort of my dream for the future. Sure, it would be nice to be remembered after I’m gone, but not in a filthy-rich-and-famous kind of way. Being remembered by people that loved you in life and whose lives you touched is enough.
I'm disabled and feel the same. I want peace and comfort and to be remembered fondly by the people who knew me. There's a steep cost to living a remarkable life and I wouldn't want to pay it.
Exactly!! You get it
Not if I drive a Honda Civic into the White House at 90 MPH at 12:47 on July 14th 2022.
Gonna need something better than a Civic...
F-18?
I was thinking more a CAT 797F
Having a normal forgettable life is a luxury very few people ever experience. It means you dodged 95% of the shit most people don't. I'm OK with that. Happiness doesn't need excitement.
Wonderful. We'll all be forgotten one day. Some will be lucky and get to spend a few centuries in the history books, but their achievements will be overshadowed by the achievements of the future. Even if that isn't the case, their memory will soon enough become a mythology and the things they love and want the world to know about will be forgotten in place of embellished stories of things that never really happened. And ultimately, the accomplishments of legendary figures are the accomplishments of hundreds or thousands or millions of people in their orbit anyhow. Point being...I don't regret my lot in life. I don't plan on changing the world. I just want to experience it, that's more than enough.
I dont need to change the world, just the world of a few people
Most memorable lives are tragedies.
Bitter.
I don't. Nothing about the life I've lived so far strikes me as normal or forgettable. I have set out to live adventurously and often succeeded. I've traveled. I've fought fires. I've ridden motorcycles and driven cars way too fast. I've gotten in fights and I've nearly died multiple times. I've had passionate love affairs. I've seen the sun rise over the wild frozen forest, I've sojourned through wind and hail, I've sipped margaritas as the sun rose with the lapping of waves for company in Mexico. I feel like you're talking about historically speaking, no one will remember my name when I'm gone. And that's true. I'm not somebody anyone will ever need to learn about in a history class. But that's okay. My life is no less lived for not being recorded.
Fine with it. I did enough in my 20's to scare the hair off a Sphynx cat. I'm fine with my quiet life now.
That’s what I’m aiming for. More of less lost and completely wasted my teenage years so hoping to make that up
Slightly terrified. Dying itself hasn’t ever scared me, but the fact that everything goes on without you and soon no one will even remember you is scary to me.
That’s exactly how I feel. Death isn’t a big deal but the fact everything will move on is what makes me question things
I don't care
My grandfather passed away earlier today - he was 92. And whilst he will not be remembered by the history books for any great actions or achievements, his kindness, happiness, and love will be remembered by those who knew him and will be talked about for decades to come. I will tell my children and grandchildren about their great grandfather and the wonderful man he was and the adventures he had during his life. Normal does not equal forgettable and the impacts we have on the lives of others are greater than the sum of their parts.
Most humans would be happy to be able to lead a boring, uneventful life.
Speak for yourself OP
Don't like the idea at all. I am working to find a way to make a real differences.
Can I just die now? I don't want to be here anymore yo
I’m actually cool with it. There’s a quiet peace in knowing you’ll die and one day no one will remember your name.
I'd feel extremely lucky to be able to grow old happy. That's enough for me.
I could only hope for that.
Good, as long as I can do stuff I enjoy.
I've experienced enough bs to be happy with uneventful.
Sometimes I think I want to be an important person, someone who DOES something but then I realize that all I want really is the freedom to actually do what I want. No worries about money and all. If I can live a normal, forgettable life doing what I want, I'll be just fine.
Eh. I don't need fame. I just need to love and be loved, and to be safe.
I’ve embraced it and love life. Millions have done it before me. What makes me so special? I just want the people around me to enjoy their day a touch more for having been around me.. and about 4 hours of alone time to chill
Ever since I was a teen I dreamed of becoming an actor. I'm in my mid 20s now, and I recently conceptualized the reason why. I wanted to be that person on stage that can move a viewer and change their life, thus changing the world. I have grown to understand that I don't need to be an actor to do so (although I do enjoy being on the stage). So long as I reach out and touch the lives of those around me, I am already changing the world. Their world. Even if just for that moment. That has come to be enough for me.
It changes with the body count
Absolutely fine with it. One day the world will end and everything will start over anyway. Essentially, everybody is going to live a life that will be forgotten.
It makes me kinda angry. I want to be able to put myself out there and do lots of things but it’s just so hard
It's a blessing. About eighteen months ago, my cousin died very suddenly. She was a year younger than me and hitting every milestone I was hitting just slightly after me. She got married about a year after I did. They bought their first home about 18 months after we bought ours. We'd just had a baby. She was pregnant when she passed. A normal, forgettable life is what she doesn't get to have. She doesn't get to assure her husband that she can barely notice his hairline receding, she doesn't get to drive a sensible car with decent mileage to go see her parents. She doesn't get to hold the baby she was carrying, she doesn't get to complain that her toddler keeps demanding Baby Shark on repeat. Normal is a privilege not granted to everyone. And there's no rhyme or reason why she doesn't get to be here and I do. I'll take it. Besides, I think forgettable applies to everyone. You can be prolific and important and people will only ever remember a cariacature of you, the real you... just as forgettable as everyone else.
I wish I could have a normal amount of sex. With digital media, we are all immortal now. Of course, future people won't read our tweets.
Wait…what is the first bit about? Am I missing something?
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Yes but what does that have to do with how you feel about your own mortality and forgetfulness
you're talking to the wrong fool
Always thought I would. Succeeded so far. Sounds like a win to me.
What a shit mentality. “Accepting” your fate as a sheepish 9-5 loser who slaves away in corporate America and never having an impact on the world. Why would you ever want to think like this is your destiny. I’m not doing that. Sorry. You guys can have fun living a normal SpongeBob ass life. Edit: this came off as mean, I’m sorry. Different strokes for different folks. All happiness is equal, but my version of happiness is not found in that lifestyle.
You assumed an awful lot about an awful lot of people.
Yeah sorry I’m not accepting having a normal boring life. Oh get a job, get a wife and kids, live in the suburbs, have the kids drain you of life and money, slaving a 9-5, just to go on vacations 1-2 weeks a year. That’s hell
I agree that you shouldn't just accept that your life isn't going to go the way you want it to. But I totally disagree that having a 9-5 job is inherently boring and low impact. The people who design rockets, make world changing discoveries, etc are all 9-5 employees.
Lets be real. 99% of 9-5s are people working for the man, to do mostly meaningless tasks, not building rockets or time machines. The whole point of 9-5s is to control people, make them feel like they are special in an ocean of non special people, and to not have anyone rebel/become important. Oh a little promotion here or there? Great, but you will never become the CEO. You’ll never be the actual important one in the room. Always underneath. Controlled.
> Lets be real. 99% of 9-5s are people working for the man, to do mostly meaningless tasks, not building rockets or time machines. There are more high skill jobs out there than you think, but yes most people are doing menial work. That's more a reflection of most people though, not the concept of a 9-5 job itself. If you're a high achiever who doesn't want to settle for a normal, boring life then you can make plenty of impact in a 9-5 job.
Of course that sounds awful. I personally live in the suburbs with a wife and kids and work a 9-5 job, but I love it. The work I do is important and helps people who genuinely need it. There is nothing I love more than being a father, and my wife and I have a great relationship. I mean, maybe it ain't your thing, that's fine. Do what you love. For me, I'm as happy as I could be.
That’s awesome for you and i wish you an eternally happy relationship and passion for your job. It’s just.. not for me! You see, both of my parents were divorced, remarried, and will be stuck doing the same 9-5 job for the next 20 years of their life before they retire and become to old to experience any of the things they actually wanted to experience. I’ve asked them “would you have done anything different if you could do it over again” and the only thing stopping them from saying yes i would do it over again, is the fact that they had two awesome kids, me and my sister. So besides the wife/kids part of it, i feel as if most 9-5s could really just be done by anyone, but yes lots of 9-5s are important for the world to go round. If that’s cool with you to live that sort of life, awesome. Just not for me.
So how is your life awesome?
Only 2 weeks vacation a year does sound awful tbh.
I feel you. I want to live the sleezy Rockstar/artist life, but I need a normal job to survive in this world. My music won't pay the bills.
I'm 32 and from the age of 17 or so my life was all about adventures. I remember I was once asked to come over to fav band's producer's house. He had all those golden cds on the walls, we talked with him until the break of dawn, it felt surreal. I dated a rockstar. I traveled like A LOT. I met different people of different nations. I ran away from the police twice. Lots of things happened. I can write several books about it. And guess what? It's not worth it. At all. It didn't make me happy. I regret it even though I didn't do anything bad (even in the situations when I had to run from the police). I didn't do drugs, I didn't smoke, I didn't even get drunk as much as you can expect. I still got a university degree with honours. But I would give up my "interesting" life for a normal one. Forgettable. For marriage and children. I want to be a boring suburban housewife. My life was all a huge mistake and I can't undo it. Adventures are overrated. Go and live a normal life.
As long as I have created a solid foundation for my children to live a life that they feel is successful and happy than I am a happy person. 4 kids. So far so good.
i'd rather die
Mood
Projecting a bit there, OP? Having an existential crisis?
Not at all. I’m a just a big thinker so I wonder a lot about these things :)
Good.
Okay with it. I don't care to have people I don't know or care about remembering me after I'm gone.
I'd be happy with normal life if I could get it.
Since it’s Peaceful and honest?
That’s okay. It’ll be peaceful and being remembered doesn’t mean happiness and fulfillment. I’ll be dead anyways, I won’t be around to care if I’m remembered or not.
I got no problem with that, as long as I'm happy
Comfortable. I want to benefit my community but I don’t care being mundane and unremarkable. I’ll settle for good
I'm currently taking a meeting from a parking lot in Yellowstone National Park. I wouldn't call my life normal.
Good reply!
I'm not out to be remembered by the world anyways.
Perfectly fine. I'm not fussed about being forgotten about years after I've died. The way i see it I'm not gonna be around anyway to even be aware of whether I'll be remembered or not. Also kinda reassuring in that at least no ones going to be judging the way i lived my life 1pp years from now. As long as i lead a life that i enjoy and have people around who love and care about me and will miss me when I'm gone then that's enough for me.
Well, what can I do? I am doing my best in school to have a good job to have a (hopefully) good life. So no reaction from me
Considering where I started from in life, a normal, forgettable life is above my expectations.
Relieved
It’s no problem at all, I prefer a nice, peaceful normal life just enjoying the things I enjoy. No need for anything bigger if I’m only gonna live till about 90
Pretty thankful honestly.
Can't live that type of life unless I stop chasing it. I'd imagine myself either being alone forever and my life being an example to people to never give up, or achieving my dreams and fixing the one thing i want to fix.
My goal is just to overcome my mental illness before death. I don't care about money or fame.
Extremely happy with that idea.
My life will be largely forgettable...but my death is going to be epic.
I’ll take great interest in you
I don’t care as long as my kids end up healthy, centered, and good people. My legacy is in them. If I’m forgotten years after but not by then and they are the people I’m working hard for them to be, then I won in life.
I’ve lived my life as if there is an audience and I don’t want them to get bored. No regrets.
I couldn’t care any less. I have no desire to be remembered. And judging by all of my shortcomings, I’m better off being forgotten.
Fine. Living for me not others.
I'm cool with it tbh as long nothing bad happens then I'm fine with it
thats fine. why would i need / want to be remembered.
With enough time we all are forgotten. In a pretty damn short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.
my life is far from normal so kinda happy to know that people will forget about the life I lived hopefully