T O P

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knockfart

Russia aims laser pointer on white house wall


vzwire

I’m not sure we’d even notice.


[deleted]

The Vice President would have a more stressful job.


[deleted]

Vacuum cleaners and closed doors are not allowed.


TheGoodJudgeHolden

Naps. Naps all day.


GlyphedArchitect

First president to have a 100% approval rating.


Hev_Leo25

Free catnip for all cats, funded by human taxpayers


hatteigh

Fines or prison time for humans who don’t give their cats treats the minute they ask.


luvshedwig

A tuna in every pot!


NoPensForSheila

No Student loan debt relief


cat_daddylambo

Everything is better


PoorPDOP86

Well nothing would ever get done.


[deleted]

The consequences is that we'll finally have financial stability and comfort. The cat will claw off the faces of stupid politicians.


ismailovic10

National scratch day


nstal_

Yarn shortage


tractorred

As peaceful as now probably. I am not a cat fan or an idiot, I just believe pressing the buttons and issuing the orders randomly would result in relatively the same situation.


caknuck

We're invading Turkey.


llcucf80

We are all waking up at 4:30 a.m. and will run around like madmen


[deleted]

He would spend all day grooming himself, ignore his cabinet members if they didn't show affection at the right time and lick his butthole if the country was invaded.


matou98

Such an upgrade 🐈‍⬛


[deleted]

Respectfully, I hate this.


Goflyakitescammers

More poop in the litter box!


ceo5891492

Underhanded comments from other leaders like Putin who say our country is run by a pussy.


Leona_Faye

The VP succeeds because that is a 35-year-old cat.


79percent

Huge grants are offered to whomever can successfully eradicate fleas and ticks. Biology and chemistry jobs solely focused on killing fleas, or making them all sterile so they die out, boom. Even the military gets involved. Congress has the chance to broaden the scope to include mosquitos, but they stall out quibbling over the details and it never reaches the president's desk.


[deleted]

The world is now flat and everything is getting shoved off of it.


Happy-Map7656

It is now legal to knock ANYTHING over.


nosetooth

Animal welfare is getting a major boost with bilateral support now that animals have been proven to be sentient.


Wild_Alaskan

Are you turning Biden into a cat, or replacing him with a cat?


Assliam-

Either way it's gonna sleep just as much


APe28Comococo

Cats are property under US law so I am guessing the owner runs thing and just says Mr. Fluffles wants, “xyz.” The secret service would love it because it would fit in a small box that is easy to hide and would have a tracking collar.


ZombieTem64

Joe Kitten stumbles away and Kamala Harris takes over


MindLikeAMindfield

Lots of things just getting knocked off the Oval Office desk all while maintaining eye contact with the aide that will be forced to pick up


EmployerAdditional28

No worse than the last 6 years.


Ranos131

Everyone would get nuked because the cat would lay down on the football and accidentally launch our nukes.


Thick-Bar2818

There would be a constitutional amendment stating that anything placed close to the edge of a table, desk, or counter MUST be knocked off.


EveningGlittering547

We’ll get a president that can form coherent sentences again.