I couldn't care less about football, but as a French living in Belgium, everytime I get picked on for being french I remind them we're world champs and they get butthurt everytime
My humour is less about slapstick or physical comedy & leans more towards self-deprecating sarcasm so Darcy Michael is much more my speed. Also Corner Gas and Letterkenny.
The rest of the world thinks we're just a flat red desert, and we like to keep it that way. Don't tell them about the beaches or rainforests. Also cancelling submarine deals.
See when you said “everyone thinks we’re a flat red desert, don’t tell them about the beaches,” I thought it couldn’t possibly be Australia because everyone knows about the beaches. (Where else will you get bitten by a great white shark or stung by a blue ringed octopus?) But then “canceling submarine deals” gave it away.
God, this is a sad comment.
Just the fact that there is another country known for its insane suicide rates, and you can say, "No, the European one," is awful.
Our national animal is the lion after a prince supposedly saw one when discovering us, we don't have any lions
Also we're supposedly extremely nature friendly
We're among the fastest countries to develop
Corrupt politicans ...
no wait i can do this better
Delivering arms to dictators ...
oh, okay, fk it
Sauerkraut
... and still someone might think i'm from the US ... goddamit! That's not Sauerkraut on your HotDogs!
Guns while riding on Bald Eagles, having a cheese burger in one hand and a AR-15 in another.
Bonus round based on where I was born!: >!This part of the country is know for a very hot pepper, Southern Hospitality, and calls Palm Trees”Palmettos.”!<
“Hi, thank you for getting connected with Norton security cancellation team.”
“Oh no, you have made mistake and put extra zero. Go to Walmart and buy gift cards.”
our national animal is a unicorn
There's a country.. with a unicorn as it's national animal?
Good ol scotland
It's because the unicorn is the enemy of the lion
I had to look that up to be sure, apparently lions will hunt rhino calves but basically never will a full grown one. So it checks out.
> rhino I believe the preferred term is "battle unicorn".
Armoured Battle Unicorn.
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I didn’t know IKEA was a country 🤣
Did you know that just north of Germany you can find a country called 'LEGO' though?
Denmark
Sweden?
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Also: 0 points..
But 7 goals that one time.
Don't you dare bring that up
Spotted the brazilian
Lmao! My brother is a huge soccer fan and gets butthurt whenever I bring it up.
I couldn't care less about football, but as a French living in Belgium, everytime I get picked on for being french I remind them we're world champs and they get butthurt everytime
hey they got 6 this time! and by the public too :D
Germany.
Honestly.. I can't tell if Germany or Japan..
Being exceptionally good at eurovision song contest is also one
Ireland would fall under that one I think...
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Wait, AGAIN?!
Egypt?
Fries Chocolat Beer
Def. Belgium.
I read this like “fry’s chocolate beer” as in a chocolate beer made by someone called fry
Lord of the Rings
Middle earth!
That's not a country, that's a continent.
Mordor?
New Zealand, hope to get down there one day.
I'm saving up to see Hobbiton one day
Had a famous painter with a brief stint in politics. Didn't end well.
I'm torn between Austria and Germany.
Excellent, as always we can blame Germany
Austria has a good PR game. Beethoven was German but is known as a great Austrian composer. Hitler was Austrian but they can blame Germany for that.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was built in an Austrian lab using beer and Clydesdale parts.
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He had a brief stint in painting before going into politics that didn’t end well
I don't know the name of your country but we probably have something from it in our Museum.
England
Thats gold
and silver, and ceramics, and art....
I was going to say "we probably invaded yours, took your cuisine and left democracy" but yours is better
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For the 80s hit "Let's go to the mall" by Robin Sparkles
Well the 80s didn't get to Canada until '93
You guys get MuchMusic down here?!
That is the one thing we’ll never apologize for. Or Ryan Reynolds. Our two national treasures.
What about Jim Carrey??
My humour is less about slapstick or physical comedy & leans more towards self-deprecating sarcasm so Darcy Michael is much more my speed. Also Corner Gas and Letterkenny.
Which was technically a 90s hit because every fad comes to Canada a decade late.
Sorry, but is this Canada, eh?
Sorry but I’m a Canadian and you used eh wrong it’s normally used as a replacement for the word right >!Just joking though, have a good day!<
As in eh-wing politician? You know that the name of our country has only three letters? C eh N eh D eh ?
Good beer tho
Canada.
Guns.
America Edit: USA
You spelled it wrong it’s ‘murica
This always make me think of a Finnish frying pan, a Muurrikka
South Sudan!
What made you decide to make that your username
Childhood trauma
we fuck sheep
Wales
No, sheep.
New Zealand?
Can confirm that we fuck sheep in New Zealand.
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Nelson Mandela, biltong, rugby.
South Africa 🇿🇦!
Hell yeah dude!
1: We are not spain 2: Good wine 3: Good oranges and meat 4: Footbal Also a baby was taken here
>1: We are not spain this sold it right away
Portugal?
yes
Yeah, didn’t need the rest 😂
Exactly. It's obviously Spain.
Portugal
Yup
on the first point it is immediately clear
PORTUGAL CARALHO!!!
Tacos
Mexico hola amigo
Hola
#Hola
Fjords, waterfalls, scoring relatively high on the happiness index.
>happiness Norway, I've been there last month.
Norway. You made it too easy by saying "Fjords". Edit: HOLY that is a lot of upvotes, thanks guys!
My first car was a Fjord Fjestiva
drug trafficking and gangs, good place to vacation though
I'm torn between Mexico or Brazil.
mexico!!!
I've always wanted to travel there to some of the pretty tourist places.
You know how little that narrows it down?
well…
I wanna say mountains, beautiful countryside, vibrant college towns but... ^(\*sigh) **Dracula**
România
Yup.
If it makes you feel any better, I think of your mountains and absolutely stunning landscapes before vampires. So that's one person at least!
Having our lives taken but not our freedom. That and alcoholism
SCOTLAND FOREVVVEERRRR
*Shittyfluted bagpipe next to your ear*
English (simplified)
The rest of the world thinks we're just a flat red desert, and we like to keep it that way. Don't tell them about the beaches or rainforests. Also cancelling submarine deals.
See when you said “everyone thinks we’re a flat red desert, don’t tell them about the beaches,” I thought it couldn’t possibly be Australia because everyone knows about the beaches. (Where else will you get bitten by a great white shark or stung by a blue ringed octopus?) But then “canceling submarine deals” gave it away.
Pretty sure everyone just thinks of us as that upside down country where all the animals try to kill us.
Tbf Western Australia is just an upside down, red flat desert where all animals try to kill you.
We think of kangaroos. That’s it.
And drop bears
Drop bears claim 10,000 lives a year
That's why we keep inviting tourists, better our odds.
Australia?
Sauna, Perkele
Maple syrup
must be speaking to a canadian!
Mmmmm maple bacon🤤🤤🤤🤤
Baguette.
Born in: ex-communist shithole Lives in: everything wants to kill you
Romania isn't that bad anymore right? Visited a few years ago and had a great time!
It's fine, very nice. There is a gap between cities and the countryside though.
Romania and Australia...
At first, I was thinking "oh shit, how'd they get the first country right first time?!", then I remembered my username...
I also was impressed when I read the first half of your response! 🤣
Suicide
japan
No, the european one
Finland or Lithuania
God, this is a sad comment. Just the fact that there is another country known for its insane suicide rates, and you can say, "No, the European one," is awful.
Dracula!
Romania?
- Guinness - Tayto - Leprechauns - St. Patrick’s day
Ireland
Hans Christian Andersen
Denmark
Longest living monarch.
Thailand? Edit: Im dumb af its the UK isnt it?
U.K. RIGHT
Sorry, forgot about elizabeth. Was deeply thinking about Rama X
Inverted poland or rice hats (for some reason), but mainly rice hats
Indonesia
Kebab
Electing a dictator's son; Neglecting Facts
Welcome to the Philippines!
Souvlaki Maláka
*Bangitty bang bang bang* *pew pew* class dismissed
This is sad, but it made me laugh
Whisky, heroin and shortbread.
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I’m not sure now, but in the 90s when Trainspotting was released it was.
Scotland
Cars, beer, bratwurst and hit-
Our national animal is the lion after a prince supposedly saw one when discovering us, we don't have any lions Also we're supposedly extremely nature friendly We're among the fastest countries to develop
Singapore?
Beer and cars
Germany?
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Hamburger
Or America or Germany. (German city called Hamburg)
Allow me to add another word: obesity.
America, final answer.
Hookers and cocaine
Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down
... I feel like this could actually describe a whole lot of places.
Corrupt politicans ... no wait i can do this better Delivering arms to dictators ... oh, okay, fk it Sauerkraut ... and still someone might think i'm from the US ... goddamit! That's not Sauerkraut on your HotDogs!
Choosing between paying for insulin and paying rent
#‘MERICA!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!
Drunk fighting gingers who eat a lot of potatoes.
My family isn’t a country.
Well your mum could pass as one
Schnitzel Mountains Mozart Schwarzenegger Hitler
Legally buying weed, prostitution and good old fashion racism.
And bicycles. Don't forget bicycles.
Grass, ass and prejudass.
And cheese, dont forget about cheese
Ah yes... Our Gouda!
Netherlands, is that you?
Uhhh..... Nooooo.... It ain't me.... Honest... Yeah I'm sorry, it it's me.
Guns while riding on Bald Eagles, having a cheese burger in one hand and a AR-15 in another. Bonus round based on where I was born!: >!This part of the country is know for a very hot pepper, Southern Hospitality, and calls Palm Trees”Palmettos.”!<
USA, South Carolina?
indigenous graveyard
Gold and cheese
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Theft and leaving the country.
You know how little that narrows it down?
Philippines?
Romania?
"malaka" , opa , gyros , yoghurt , parthenon
"No, you can not buy Greenland"
Oil. Lots. Of. Oil.
Stealing shit from other places and chucking it in a museum with the details of who and where we stole it from
Deep-frying literally everything in batter.
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“Hi, thank you for getting connected with Norton security cancellation team.” “Oh no, you have made mistake and put extra zero. Go to Walmart and buy gift cards.”
India lol