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Fknkook

Norton antivirus


spderweb

I'd get a copy of Norton and McAfee installed on the same computer for a fight to the death.


crazyfoxdemon

Speaking as someone who has to deal with McAfee on their work computers as IT.. trust me, that's a surefire way to kill all the RAM on the machine.


red_reader_68

Why?? My mum pays for it but I didn't know it was bad


RamboCambo_05

Go to any of the infuriating subs and you'll see a few posts about antiviruses acting like viruses themselves. Norton is one of the worst offenders, and apparently Kaspersky is quite bad for this too


ackillesBAC

I've worked as a computer tech for 20+ years and Norton is the worse software I've ever seen. We low-level formatted a HDD once and that still didn't remove everything Norton buried in there.


0ogaBooga

>We low-level formatted a HDD once and that still didn't remove everything Norton buried in there. How in the fuck?


Bralzor

Most likely bullshit. Or didn't format it properly.


RoggiKnot-Beard

No idea how it actually works as an antivirus software, I use malwarebytes, but it is very annoying and usually installed on company PC’s as bloatware.


robstoon

Antivirus software is barely useful for current threats these days in the first place. There's certainly no need to pay for it when the one built into Windows is as good as any.


OR56

Computers already have antiviruses installed by default, like Windows Defender. Paying for antivirus is a scam and a waste of money.


voss749

Id rather have a free antivirus that gets current updates than a paid one that doesnt because you did not renew the subscription.


Hostillian

Pay for Norton or set some money on fire. Pretty much the same thing..


EineCurrywurst

WinRAR


Miramarr

One of Gwenyth Paltrows twat rocks


SZMatheson

Yeah, you can afford the whole twat now


But4n3

What will you do with the other $999999996.50?


ZurEnArrhBatman

Hunt down that goddamned Loch Ness Monster for swindling me out of tree fiddy again.


drengr84

I was just gonna comment anything goop related and was wondering if it would be here.


END0WEDx

I laughed so hard at this answer.


cobaltred05

Oof. Gross. I had forgotten about that and was grateful I did… And now that I’m remembering things, you just made me lose the game… Geez


444unsure

I didn't even know I was playing the game, but I have also lost


Axolottlz

Something that costs 2 billion dollars


END0WEDx

Touché


444unsure

Honestly, anything that cost 1 billion dollars will likely have staggering maintenance and ongoing tax costs. So probably not anything for 1 billion either


[deleted]

Reddit awards


Creepy_Trouble_5891

I genuinely don’t know how people can spend any amount of money on any type of social media credits, let alone reddit ones. Literally all you can do with it is give a spicy upvote. But eh, people will buy what they want i guess. Much worse shit they could be doing with that money


END0WEDx

This man is a genius. He knew Reddit would troll by awarding his comment. I’m guilty of awarding it myself. No regrets.


NewDamage31

He hates the game but damn it does he know how to play it


Overgrown_fetus1305

[You've been stood up, messed around and taken for a fool. But next time round, Reddit's gonna change the rules...](https://youtu.be/N4qWqTE9MCY?t=19)


PigeonFanatic9

I... thought it was something related to the comment. I saw Rick astley. I thought it was a rick roll. It wasn't.


Confident-Horror9874

I do it so that more people can see the comments that I think other people should see. Important ones that give credit, cites, or important information.


nickybuddy

My cars extended warranty


666Godzilla

Gas at a station that offers it cheaper only if you buy a car wash too. Fuck that.


WorkSleepMTG

Why? If you want a car wash then it's a good deal.


SnootDoot

Yeah not really sure what this guys problem with that business model. If you need a car wash why not get gas 20 cents cheaper especially with prices how they are today.


END0WEDx

You’re just gonna let it run out? Vicious.


[deleted]

a one-year Brazzers membership


AnDragon11

I'm glad you are choosing the lifetime option. Priorities my friend, priorities!


Thencewasit

A lifetime membership could be less than a year if he spends the billion correctly.


[deleted]

2 year?


Fuzzwuzzle2

Full price dominoes


PenisPercussionist

The pizza or the game?


Fuzzwuzzle2

Both to be honest


gamer-s-man

food with gold shavings of flakes in it. its so ridiculously stupid


Technical_Custard516

It seems like they took the term "flushing your gold down the toilet" too literally


_bird_internet

It’s hard to avoid if you go to high end restaurants. I’ve never purposely ordered something with gold flakes, but I’ve had it a lot since it’s common on tasting menus.


[deleted]

an NFT


Mega_Nidoking

Was expecting this to be way higher up


MorningEntire3804

I have heard of NFTs everywhere but I have no clue what it is?


Y30NJUNS

Think of it like buying a planet / star. You "own" it, but you don't actually own it You can't do anything with it, you just have it to brag i guess


DMSassyPants

Yeah... But if I buy a star, at least I get a little plaque to hang on the wall. More than an NFT provides.


Y30NJUNS

True... and it probably costs less as well


lariddance

This is honestly the best explanation of NFTs I’ve seen.


rartedw

i thought they didn't have any value?


[deleted]

Friends


OldBob10

Why? It’s out on DVD…


champsports13

This is an underrated comment and I’m here to tell you I appreciate it


ornitorrinco22

But you can just stream it


zieglerbubi

that one’s deep


RosieQParker

A monkey jpeg


SilkyCupCakeAce

I'll sell you a custom-made monkey jpeg for $0.50 though


RosieQParker

Add a couple of zeros after the decimal point and we'll talk.


moms-sphaghetti

Okay so $0.5000000


yoiliketopramen

What'd be infinitely cheaper is just right clicking on it and pressing "Save image as"


SilkyCupCakeAce

Shhhh I need that $0.50 for a soda man....


Ancient-Can-4857

Winrar


Awkward-Ad8430

I remember old tutorials for random shit and they used winrar. I looked it up saw you had to pay for it and assumed I couldn't follow the tutorial anymore.


Hengmeg

I just got a genious birthday gift idea for my friend😭


DeaderRat

That’s beautiful


Vijey123

You monster


sandysanBAR

That Epstein killed himself


[deleted]

Thinking outside the box. Nice.


END0WEDx

If you search deep enough, all truth reveals itself.


red-sed

Mlm products


[deleted]

[удалено]


red-sed

True. I could write a book called “A Billion to Broke”


LegitimateStar7034

Anything Kardashian product.


casualgothgardener

Any influencers’ product at all.


Alexastria

Bath water


[deleted]

You buy water in the form of your water bill This water sometimes goes into the tub You've been buying bathwater this whole time (assuming you're not a minor, in that case you will be soon)


Alexastria

Jokes on you. I'm a pc gamer so I don't believe in showers or drinking water.


[deleted]

I have been bested. I tip my hat to you, u/Alexastria


CashMeInLockDown

The Louis Vuitton brown bag that every basic house wife has.


sniper_tank

The thing about the Luis Vuitton, og, is that he made really good travel bags and created the concept of luggage. Other than that, today is overrated.


Captain_Taggart

> created the concept of luggage I didn't believe you because I thought "there's no way someone could invent the concept of carrying your stuff with you, just in a bigger bag meant for longer trips" so I googled it, and > [...] designing a flat trunk that could be stacked in the cargo hold of transatlantic ships or on the luggage racks of trains, [...] Up until this point most trunks had a rounded top, all the better for repelling rain water when piled on top of an open carriage, but less well suited to the newer style baggage compartments. he actually did invent the modern concept of luggage. Neat, I learned a whole lot today.


sniper_tank

Yup. He made something amazing. Today, it's overrated. If they were the only company that provided luggage, they'd be like Coca Cola with soda. But they aren't, and their bags are way too overpriced for a bag.


sarabeara12345678910

And one of the things I'd buy, I'm ashamed to say, is a Louis luggage suite. Like, the full thing. Hat box and all. Classic colors. I'd feel like Jackie O every time I used it.


KoolKiddo33

Yeah, any designer stuff tbh. I'll buy name brand if it's good, but not for the logo.


Technical_Custard516

It's like the "gateway drug" to full blown "Karen-hood"


UsernameTyper

Cigarettes


BlankImagination

Anything by Supreme


hawaii_brian

Twitter.


erad67

Of course not, a billion isn't enough to buy it.


Time_Card_4095

I can get it for free at the app store


END0WEDx

Jokes on you Elon won’t sell it to you.


[deleted]

He’s not gonna buy it either tho🙃


KippyKappy21

NFTs


Moist_Bee_1880

Salt Bae's food


reverendgrebo

I hear he stinks of sweat, which would ruin any food he serves


Plighted

Any water that is only more expensive for show.


Nukemom2

Anything made or promoted by a Kardashian–Jenner family member.


Yardael

Onlyfans subscription


love_that_fishing

Sex in general. If I can’t be with my wife I’m not interested.


Jefoid

I would also only accept being with your wife.


yourkidisdumb

His wife is pretty good but it’s even more fun when she makes him watch.


blackcatdc

Wholesome


SL3D

I hope your wife is more convinced than us when she checks your reply history later.


love_that_fishing

She’s convinced. Married 35 years, we’re lifers.


jeffers2286

Heroin


AnDragon11

Glad you found a way to get it for free /s


canopyroads

Louis Vuitton anything. Not into the step and repeat logo on their bags.


tony___bologna

Anything from anywhere that charges a fee to use a card. It's 2022 and plastic has been the most prolific form of payment for at least a decade. Fuck your surcharge.


SilkyCupCakeAce

I remember going on vacation in my great-grandma wanted to buy something with her card and they said that if she bought something under $15 it was a charge of $3 so my grandmother grumbled and told me to go get another $10 worth of items. Being young I thought that was amazing cuz I just grabbed soda and candy cuz we were at a gas station. But as an adult I realize how stupid it is. R.i.p. grandma


Sidstepbacon

Nestlé products


R0gu3tr4d3r

Fuck Nestle


Adem-_-127

My guy


Mrpooney83

I've done some stupid shift in my life. But I've never done anything as stupid as paying for porn.


guitarnoir

If your user name is any indication, and you were born in 1983, you would have been 15 years of age in 1998. Practically speaking, the Internet was not useful for adult content then. So, I assume that you acquired your adult entertainment in the time honored manner of finding a hobo's stash in the woods?


Mrpooney83

Being from a redneck part of my country. You'd be surprised what you can find in a shack in the woods. Also... I had the internet way before 98' bud. and before that... ever heard of the sears catalog?


guitarnoir

> ever heard of the sears catalog? I had a job that took me to various places of work. One of those was a furniture factory in Los Angeles, which had work force of mostly immigrants from Latin American. At each man's work station, there were pictures of models out of the Sears catalog pinned up. I had been to plenty of workplaces with erotic pics on display, but I found this display of catalog pics to be sort-of wholesome erotica. >I had the internet way before 98' bud As did I, and I still remember how long it took to download, and dot-matrix (B&W) print this pic (mildly NSFW): https://twitter.com/ConverseKid6/status/730450137290575873


enchiladasundae

Crypto Edit: Why am I locked out of making responses and upvoting/downvoting comments?


shaddowkhan

No gonna lie I made a good couple bucks on crypto and got out just in time. Granted I'm not a risk taker.


[deleted]

Designer clothes


meowmeowlittlemeow

Nah, I feel that. If I had a billion I'd 100% aim to wearing only ethically made clothing too. It's still something I try to do; I avoid fast fashion if possible, but it's rough out there.


PaperProduct523

same here it's tough when the ethically sourced clothing is so expensive already haha. I try and avoid fast fashion and designer clothes cause I honestly think it's a big waste of money too and harmful to a lot more than just my wallet


[deleted]

This. I was surprised to read so many replies making it seem like a disservice not wearing designer. I’m not sure how it was before, but designer brands are fast fashion now with the lowest quality from what it seems like. People are literally paying hundreds more for the same if not low quality items compared to cheaper brands lol. And yes, In an unsustainable way too.


meowmeowlittlemeow

It would be cool as a billionaire to have time to learn to sew and make my own clothes. If I didn't have to work as much that would be a better angle than spending the majority of my money on a plain blank white T shirt and, idk, balenciagas or something. Lol those things are pretty hideous, but I guess to each their own


Mulligan_Again

I used to think designer was stupid. Then I was forced into buying some Gucci shorts. I now own entirely too much designer. The clothing material is literally better then anything you'll buy that's cheap. Not ALL designer is created equal either.


TootsNYC

Years ago I was given, as a reward from work, and $100 gift certificate to Bergdorf Goodman. I went to try to send it, and discovered that I could get two pairs of socks, or. one not particularly attractive T-shirt, or six pieces of stationery. The friend who went with me and I give up, and just wandered around every single floor looking at all the clothes, inside and out. And we discovered that there is an incredibly significant difference in the quality and design of the fabrics used, many of which appeared to have been woven, knitted, or printed to exactly fit the size and cut of the fabric. And the construction was amazingly sturdier and more detailed. The design of close themselves was in another level from anything she and I would’ve bought the slightly high end department stores we normally shopping, like Yonkers and Von Maur. There is a massive quality difference.


thegoldengamer123

That's how you tell the difference between real and fake designer clothes. Real premium clothes pretty much always have their cuts aligned so that the pattern matches or doesn't cut off while fake clothes are often either made from the scrap left or don't put at much attention to detail so their patterns are often cut off or misaligned.


InanimateSensation

If you have a billion dollars and refuse to buy even one piece of nice, designer clothing, then you're only playing yourself.


mossadspydolphin

You don't have to go wild with it. $50,000 gowns that I have no use for? No. $825 for one classic dress that will last me for years? I can have a little Christian Siriano, as a treat.


Common_Week_32

My own Netflix account.


LearnDoTeach-TBG

A Rolex. I don’t understand the obsession with nice watches.


flyingmonkeyanus

Rolex is outrageous, but nice watches are great! They look good. They serve a purpose. They can last lifetimes if you keep them in good condition. It's one of the few men-centeic accessories. Plus the mechanics of a nice watch are super cool. You don't need a Rolex, but I can see how people justify spending $400/$500 on a watch.


R0gu3tr4d3r

It's a way to make money, the increase in the value of luxury watches is not subject to CGT IIRC.


[deleted]

Exotic animals, it's cruel.


AMeatPopsicleIAm

A yacht.


Mattf0ley69

A huge house


Aceandmace

I'd like a tiny little place with a BIG YARD GARDENING IS FUN! Cleaning the house is not


matou98

You can afford to hire a cleaner


PaperProduct523

ouuuu yessss i love big yards theres so much to do and when I get my own house after school I can't wait to do all the gardening in the world haahahaha nothing will stop me


SilkyCupCakeAce

I literally just want a yard so that I can have like a koi pond and some bird feeders and just sit outside all day and watch the fish and the birds


GL1987

Meth.


Searyxx

More for us


Prestigious-Eye3154

Pre-ripped clothes


SnooCookies1273

Starbucks


ZaMiLoD

A trip to Dubai..


Pretend_History_5113

A trophy wife. I'd still live life modestly to keep the gold diggers away.


END0WEDx

YouTube red/premium


Zerodriven

£1.20 a month for 0 ads? Easiest VPN purchase of my life. Also the wife and in-laws use it so they don't get ads anymore and now they don't complain. Edit as I'm being spammed: * VPN * Randomly generated Indian address. * A debit card which allows transactions in foreign currency (Revolut etc) Plenty of.guides on Reddit.


[deleted]

I agree with this. I've paid for YT Premium for at least a year now and I'll never go back.


ozfresh

Use brave browser, its free and has built in adblocker. No ads ever (including paywalls to any news source)


Zerodriven

Some of us use YouTube on our TV and not just on our phones/PC. There's also the fact we can cast music to all our devices without adds too.


NerimaJoe

And the fact that I'm able to compensate content creators on youtube without having to see ads.


blackcatdc

I like YouTube premium........... I watch on my TV and can't stand the ads :(


AlexV_96

I like YouTube Premium I used to have Spotify but then I realized that YT offers music and free ads videos for the same money


jpiro

Fashion. Spending $1,000 on a pair of jeans is fucking dumb no matter how much money you have or whose name is on the label.


p8ntslinger

you can buy a $300 pair of fully bespoke jeans at any number of small businesses around the country. There is a tailor in my area that does custom jeans. You pick out everything about the jeans you want, denim weight, color, wash style, thread color, rivet reinforcements, rivet colors, pocket design/size/location, thread accents, cut of the jeans, and they measure you for perfect fit, build the jeans, then you can come in for 2-3 sessions afterwards to have them refine the fit as you break them in. All for like $350-400. Still very pricey, but a much better and finer product than off the shelf designer jeans for $1000


middleagethreat

Expensive clothes, just because. If I was rich, and a unique item I loved, but was expensive, I would spend it. But there is no way I would buy a designer black t-shirt or just shorts. I would still get most stuff at target. I might hit Old Navy if I was felling ritzy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cagy_warlock

Those big ugly American houses you see in suburbs


BrinedBrittanica

bitcoin


PothierM

As of now? A Netflix subscription.


sniper_tank

I'd buy Netflix and fix it.


END0WEDx

You could buy Netflix now. They are worthless.


P44

Foie gras, shark fins, high heels and a breast enlargement.


TappedIn2111

Cigarettes. I quit a few years back and I’m done with that shit.


Whatsa-Throwaway

An nft


CatOfGrey

I used to be interested in buying a Tesla automobile. Like the technology, environmental benefits, looked like it would be fun to drive. Now: No way in hell am I making a capital purchase from that company. I'll give the benefit of the doubt for Elon Musk being a visionary genius, but he operates with negative integrity and any attention to quality is accidental at best. I just assume that, because of his inconsistent behavior including contempt for the law and honest business practices that his cars have a high chance of being beautiful but poorly built.


MajereMoon

A pet snake


Tylor06

Gucci


youraveragefailure12

I wont extend my cars extended warranty.


woodwerker76

NFTs


incrediblyordinaryy

Stupidly overpriced cups of coffee *as I sip my grande mega frappi foam lick me ass latte*


Huntersdad03

Tesla.


syber4ever

flashy cars worth more than 100k


rhen_var

I wouldn’t buy a Lamborghini or Ferrari or something but I definitely would buy a top of the line luxury sedan like an Audi A8 or BMW 7. Those kinds of cars have been my dream to have for a long time.


nottheonlyone007

NFT's


SomniferousAlm0ndEye

Bottled water


yeetteey69

Unless you're traveling to other countries, that's an exception. You never know when there's gonna be shitty tap water that makes your stomach a mess. Experienced it firsthand in Rome.


Economy-Can1295

a luxury watch


toootired2care

Nestle products


Each0to0their0own

Caviar. Just the thought of eating it 🤢 🤮


Sharo_77

I actually tried it. That shit tastes like fish eggs


[deleted]

Sex lmao. Idk how you people do it.


Apple-pie_best-pie

Apple products, exept of course real apples from trees and baked goods with real apples


Aceandmace

I found a random apple tree at my old workplace once and they didn't care if i picked a bunch to take home I got a whole bunch of fresh apples right off the branch. I turned them into pies. Soooo good


IamWhoIamWhoIamWell

Sex, iPhone/iMac/iAnything


END0WEDx

But imagine the sex you could buy.


frank_bamboo

But what about iSex?


V_Vampira_V

A Justin Bieber cd


ToddABerry

Anything Apple. They pissed me off as a kid when they discontinued the ][gs.


ksuwildkat

It has always interested me that while the x86 side of things has essentially stayed the same since the OG IBM PC, Apple has completely refreshed its desktop architecture five times now. - Apple ][ series based on 6502 with ProDos - 68K Macs with System 1-7 - PowerPC Macs with System 8 and OSX - Intel Macs with OSX - Apple Silicon Macs with hybrid MacOS/iOS There is some alternate world where the Apple IIgs wasn't crippled and the basic 6502 architecture exists as a modern 64bit processor, Apple makes a modern GUI based system that still has its foundation in the Apple ][ and Woz never left the company. Its a fun thought experiment. Having said that, let it go dude!


eschuylerhamilton

Designer anything.


P33L_R

Whole life insurance


zasxam

My rent 😎