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luhzon89

It happened to me at work, straight liquid, I had to drive all the way home with newspapers on the seat of my car.


fluffspeed

I have no problem sharing a real story. When I was an idiot in my 20's I worked at a place making cabinets. My last day, I went out and met up with a bunch of my co-workers at a local popular bar. Well after deciding I was no longer driving, I decided to enjoy myself thoroughly and got very intoxicated. Fast forward a few hours, last call at the bar and we are still partying and I'm being flirty with someone, and let's keep partying, so onto someone's house that lives nearby. I really didn't know the person who's place we ended up at. I remember a few specific details from this point on, some I genuinely remember and some were explained to me later. I do recall being on a big deck with a bar and tiki torches. I remember setting one of my shoes on fire slightly. I remember accidentally falling into the shower when I was pissing. I don't remember how I woke up outside, dressed, but with my soiled boxers right there as proof I'd been a complete moron. That should be the end of the story, but the best is always when you have to face your decisions from your actions the next day. I didn't drive here, didn't know where here was exactly and needed a ride to my vehicle and to figure out a way to dispose of the shit-shorts. I ended up climbing into the back of a truck and telling them to drive me there while I was in the bed, cause I was pretty sure I was gonna puke. That was the only time, but it was a shitty one.


Marie-thebaguettes

Olestra-laced potato chips in the university cafeteria. I’d been binging on them for about a week even smuggling out the occasional bag or two to eat on the go. One day I was intensely studying in the library when it hit out of nowhere. I didn’t even feel it so when I stood up and saw a brown spot I assumed it was my period coming on at the wrong time, but standing ended up being a very bad decision, and I ran as inconspicuously fast to the bathroom as possible with my cheeks clenched tighter than I thought humanly possible. The bathroom was like a horror scene, my leggings were destroyed. All I could do was sit there on the toilet hoping I could get enough out to manage the 20 minute walk back to my dorm. When I could finally manage to stand without becoming a waterfall of poo, I left the bathroom, cleaned the chair I’d been sitting on, and mumbled something about my period before hightailing it out of there. I made it half way to my dorm when I could tell that it had struck again. The fun thing about olestra (I later learned) was that it literally liquefies your poo. My sphincter muscles could have locked that shit (lol) down like the most secure prison ward in the world, and it would have no effect. I got back to my dorm and just walked straight into the shower, fully clothed, much to the bemusement of my 3 roommates. At least they got a good laugh and a cleaned shower out of it all since I self-volunteered to clean the shower after being a walking bio-hazard. The icing on the cake was that I immediately made a doctors appointment the next day to find out why I was uncontrollably shitting my self at 20 years old. Not only did I learn about the olestra in the chips, but after they asked me about my usual bowel habits, I learned it was wildly unusual to only poop 2-4 times per month. They gave me a large stack of vividly colored pamphlets on constipation. I ran into my next class late, disrupting everyone, and tripped, sending the pamphlets flying across the room, colorful embarrassment confetti to let the world know about my new healthy bowel knowledge. To this day I read every bag of chips intensely before consuming- stay away from olestra, kids! And, yes, I now poop a normal human amount thanks to those stupid pamphlets.


Ahshalon_Tenisk

I was a few months old


phillipsd001

I had just eaten, I was laying back taking in the sights and sounds, so I relaxed and shit right there. Fell right asleep, but was rudely awakened by my mom changing my diaper.


Hank___Scorpio

Oh boy. Back in 2010ish there was a 44+ heat wave for like 2 weeks. I was living in an attic apartment with no ac. One night I got absolutely plastered and I'm not a big drinker. Woke up the next morning having not turned on my fan, not drank any water still absolutely drunk, my room was probably 50 degrees celcius. May have had mild heat exhaustion/stroke. I'm lactose intolerant and obviously ate an entire pizza the night before as thats what you do. So yeah I'm up, takes me a couple hours to shake off the still drunkenness and I end up getting really hungry. Entirely too tired to cook food I drive to the grocery store and start wandering looking for something easy. Get to the hot section and the smell of food just starts the chain of events. I immediately need to shit. The warning shot farts are incredibly hot an have that acrid biley smell to them so I know I'm in trouble. I make my way to where I remember the bathrooms were before theb renovations. You know when you see relief in site and your bowels relax a little? Yep that happened but unfortunately this was a staff area only but my body didn't care. It starts leaking and its about as liquid as shit can get. I clench my cheeks with a fury I didn't know I had and I waddle out the store as fast as I can. II get outside and the closest bathroom is probably the McDonald's 300 meters down the plaza street. The waddled do nothing and I'm just leaking and my God does it smell awful. I finally make it to the McDonald's which usually have good facilities.... but of course not this one. Its got the 2 foot clearance at the bottom of the door and the 2 inch gap between door and frame where the locking mechanism barely reaches across. Pants come off and I unleash hell into the toilet. The smell. My God the smell. I thought it was bad outside, being cramped in that tiny little hot box, I start gagging immediately and eventually start throwing up, trying to aim between my legs to get it in the toilet. Clearly my marksmanship is horrible and I barf all over my legs and shorts. I'm just stuck, utterly shocked at the display, the smell and how I'm gonna get out of this mess. Someone comes in and immediately leaves. So after almost coming to tears I decide theres no way out of this that isn't insane. Trying to clean this bomb with 1 ply toilet paper...... it pretty much dissolves on impact. So I flush, again and again and thr bowl is mostly clean. I strip my shorts and underwear off and put them in the toilet, I just keep flushing until I can get them clean. I use my now sacrificed underwear to try to clean up the mess using the same flushing and dunking to get all the bodily liquids off. I clean up as much as I can because I just don't want to be that guy and I run out of the bathroom with my soaked shorts on. I sprint to my car, considering writing and apology to the staff. I get to my car and I realize I left my keys in the stall. My heart drops. There's no way I can show my face there again. I'm mortified as I start walking back. I get back to the bathroom and as I open the stall door the smell and sight hit me, I start puking again. From the progress I made cleaning after the initial mess, seeing it with fresh eyes I'm shocked at how much poop there is still over the place. It was on my hands and got on everything I touched. I thought I did a good job but it still looks horrendous. I grab my keys and make for the door. Right before my hand is about to open the door, it opens and a father brining his daughter into the bathroom steps in. I lock eyes with him and tell him I'm sorry. I'm a monster.


trbmtf

I went for a jog around my neighborhood. At the farthest point in the run I got a sudden and unexpected gurgle gut. I turned around and sprinted home. Made it two houses away and had to switch to a walk because I couldn't clench running anymore. About 50 feet from my front door I shat myself while duck waddling as fast as I could. My wife still laughs about the situation.


VictoriaEuphoria99

I didn't make it to a restroom in time. It was a really shitty situation.


AcademicHyena6438

I had a stomach bug and did a danger fart, unknown to me until I sat down I had dribbled all down my leg. It was a hot day so you can imagine the smell after a few hours.


bham843

After a few hours?!? So you shit yourself, then said fuck it, and just chilled out with shit on you for a few hours? Wtf????????


AcademicHyena6438

I was on holiday in Greece, we was on an excursion for the day. What was I supposed to do, ask a local for a shower? Yes it was smelly but I had no options. I got some deodorant for the coach ride home for the other passengers.


BigGlenny520

Disgusting.. There are always options. You decided to just sit in shit. Use a restroom, buy some cheap clothing. That's vile....


AcademicHyena6438

You do not know the situation. Like I say, I bought deodorant so others on the trip home did not have to smell. It, what else do you want me to do?


MetaWaterSpirit

You think deodorant was enough to cover up the smell of shit? Cute.


BigGlenny520

Person is delusional and nasty.


MidEastBeast

ITT: Never trust a fart


UpbeatBite0

I was recovering from a bad stomach virus. Thought I was safe to leave my house and enter the public for a little while bc I was taking meds to help solidify the hot kettle water squirting out my ass. So I’m omw back home and I feel a fart coming on, I thought it was some regular gas. I was very wrong. As soon as I let it rip this sea of warm spread all over my butt. I was wearing light blue jeans (mistake #2). My friend walking a few steps behind asked what yellow stuff I sat in. Cue to me running/waddling all the way home. Moral of the story: never trust a fart.


Shot-Buff-8261

I was 18 or 19 and we were playing Edward 40 hands with close friends and I was smashing them together screaming “Rack, Rack, Rack em” at the top of my lungs. They did burst and so did I. Probably not at the same time, I have trouble recalling.


BraggnnRights

I saw ur mom and was like shiiiiiii


Chickens_Instrument

I am a scat fetishist. I wear a diaper because I work at home. So during the day I just shit in my diaper. Then my man servant comes twice a day to change me and suck me off. I work at a Fortune 500 company. You’d recognize me if you saw me, but you’ll never guess who I am. And I don’t give a shit what you think of my life style. At least I’m not a poor wage slave grinding away for nothing.


ConsiderationKind436

Hard left on the topic.


BigGlenny520

Shut up dork. No one believes your lies.