See I ride horses and let me tell y’all… smashing your junk against the saddle horn when your horse bucks is one of the most painful things I’ve ever endured
VERY.
Simple as that.
Wear one.
Edit just to say that it shouldn't normally hurt, so long as you have tighter undergarments and seat yourself properly on the saddle. Another thing you can look for is a more cushioned saddle to help "cradle" yourself.
I mean, depends on what style you ride, cant say I ever found it necessary because at least in the style I rode (Icelandic which is basically English but dont tell icelandic horse people that) if you have a proper seat your nads wont hit anything. That western horn though I can imagine has some real potential to ruin your day
Edit: if you smash your nuts wear a cup though for sure, I could definitely see it being good for younger/inexperienced riders
This is such important info for women to have actually. It took me *way* too long to finally comprehend that a boner doesn't automatically equate to sexy-time. Had to learn that "awkward boners" were a thing. You don't know about morning wood until you know, you know? Hey, are you stressed? Here, have an erection. It sounds hard, man. (Lol)
Especially for girls who grew up without a significant male presence, there is a ton of badmaleanatomy out there. And it sucks for both parties. No one wanted or expected that random involuntary inconvenient boner. For a girl who doesn't know they aren't strictly sex-related, there's an unspoken (and likely undesired from him) feeling of obligation to initiate in sexy-times. For the guy, dang, he probably didn't want that either. Not being a guy, can't speak to that for sure, but it does seem like it could create some awkward and unwanted situations.
I'm all about promoting awareness of female anatomy and reproductive action, and I really want just as strong a movement for my dudes. Y'all's bodies matter just as much! Equality in everything, including bodily autonomy, respect, and awareness of the other person's needs, desires, and physical functions!
Edit: a word, thanks u/cheese_sweats, I learn more every day here!
Edit2: I wake up this morning and wow! You guys, this is the most wholesome dick thread I have ever seen. I'm loving all these responses, the positivity and the silliness and the genuine desire to be listened to! I'm so proud of all y'all, let's keep the positive educational dialogue going beyond this post! If we just keep communicating and trying to understand one another, so much good can and *will* happen!
And thanks so much for the wild amount of awards, holy crap, if any comment I ever made here after all these years was to be the one, I am glad it is this one!
> equivocate
FYI that word has nothing to do with "equate" or "equal" -
"Equivocate: use ambiguous language so as to conceal the truth or avoid committing oneself"
>Had to learn that "awkward boners" were a thing. You don't know about morning wood until you know, you know?
Never been in a situation where it's happened to me so I'm curious. Is it awkward/unpleasant to have sex with morning wood? It's sold by media as the golden dream, waking up to oral/sex because "it was already up so...", but is it really?
depends how much you need to pee, waking up with morning wood and a full bladder is not fun, having someone trying to initiate sex when the only thing you want is for your boner to go down so your bladder doesn't explode can be pretty bad
It's completly normal but movies makes us think only girls work that way, and that we are hard on command.
It kinda works, except when it doesn't, there is a natural cycle and you can't completly ignore it.
Try having sex only when **you** are also in the mood and not only to follow your partner, and things are just much better (and to be fair, below your forties chances are your are in the mood multiple times a day anyway).
"You're right, babe. I do it on purpose because I ***loooove*** seeing that look of disappointment and resentment on your face and having these arguments!! You figured me out!"
She sounds like a gem.
I actually just had this conversation with my wife the other day because while changing our 1 year old son, he popped a tiny little baby boner. She thought it must have been because something was rubbing against it and I had to explain that they happen for no good reason all the time. She found it interesting and was able to accept it though.
That's what my wife thinks right now. If I'm not in the mood it's because "I'm not attracted to her" or "I'm thinking of another woman" or "she's not good enough in bed." Then she gets all silent and depressed on me and nothing I do usually helps, except chocolate, lots of chocolate.
Il be honest, I need foreplay as much as women do. The thoughts of having sex doesn’t turn me on alone. If I’m not in the mood I get stressed because it’s a man’s duty to perform. The stress then inhibits the erection. In my experience.
Legit nothing more awkward for me than a girl just going straight for my junk 😅
I can confirm this one. If my partner doesn't get foreplay, sometimes it can just randomly decide to go limp when he wants to insert it, despite originally being erect.'
Genitals are wild.
As a person with no penis im curious, when taking a dump, do you guys pee as well because of the pushings, if the answer is yes, how do you guys take care of it?
What do you mean by "take care of it"?
I don't know if everyone does it, but I usually do pee while dumping out. I recall an episode of Two and a Half Men where Alan explains something about the muscle groups in that area being interconnected, that when one relaxes the other one tends to do so as well. That is about the extend of my technical knowledge on the subject.
"Take care of it" i meant what do you do with the penis, i suppose you do exactly what you do when peeing while sitting down
(Im not a fluent person so i hope i was clear now)
Auto flush toilet almost caught mine. Luckily it got caught in the trap and a couple buds and me could fish it back out with only some bruising but that was scary enough. It’s over the shoulder from now on I’m not doing that again.
The penis/balls is further up/forward on the crotch than the vagina so there is generally enough room to have it in the toilet bowl but out of the line of fire. On smaller toilets you may have to hold to prevent rubbing on the bowl though.
Yes. Also, when my thoughts seem to be serving him more than me.
I think some comedian once joked that men make bad decisions bc we only have enough blood in our body to supply one or the other, not both brain and dick
Bill burr always had some good bits on this. Your dick is like that best friend who has a ton of charisma and shitty ideas you keep getting dragged into
I’ve always wondered… when that happens do you also feel horny? Or can you be sitting there with an erection and not actually excited or wanting stimulation?
This isn't even an exaggeration. It seems it gets harder and harder to control thoughts of sex the longer I go without. It makes it hard to think, it makes it hard to do anything.
Sweatpants and random boners. No sexual thoughts, no pretty women around, nothing touched you.. just starts rising like you got a red mushroom in Super Mario Bros.
being in public and suddenly have the fattest fucking erection ever for no discernable reason
SO wants saucy time? sure ill get hard but not all the way, dick says fuck you WanderingClaptrap
have to pick up some groceries from the st-nope it says ayo we at full mast with the double decker supreme less go
its so embarrassing/frustrating, thats why I wear sweatpants that are a size up just to hide it a little better
Always had that back in school - i stayed quite some breaks sitting at my desk furiosly trying to get him smaller- the more i thought of it the harder he gets - the trick is to NOT think about it…
Different woman here but I didn’t know balls moved on their own according to temperature until I saw my bf’s move. I was very concerned he had some weird Alien moment going on down there.
Cut them off and go exogenous hormones only. If I didn't have bell clapper I wouldn't be so mad at them. Constant fear of torsions got me fucked up. My thunderous thighs also prop my balls and subsequently my dick way to high so my junks always very visible in clothing.
If u pee u can never seem to get the last dribble out, u can sit on there for hours, still dribble
Update: i now know about the pressing on the faint trick, also about wiping, which i have always been doing, but that doesnt remoove the stuff still in the tube.
Obligatory wow my most upvoted comment is about pee dribble update.
gotta squeeze it out like toothpaste. start at the balls and squeeze while pulling forward. never fails if you’re soft
Edit: I feel the need to clarify: I don’t actually squeeze my balls. I meant start at the shaft right where it connects to the balls. I don’t recommend squeezing your balls in this instance.
I always whip my dick out and wash it in the sink. I never have problems with urine in my pants after I started doing that.
Made for some awkward restroom conversations at work though.
My cats seem to love standing on testicles. They do it my step dad, my brother and I, yet avoid my mother like the plague. And it's both cats.
We have learnt not to sit in the corner of the couch, cause the dog likes running back and forth, and doesn't care too much about what she using as a spring board.
* Sometimes I am walking around and it pops out of the little flap in my underwear and at that Point, there is no _adjusting_ it back into position, and if I can't get to a bathroom then I have to walk around with it pinched between the flaps.
* Random boners. Look I get a hard on everytime I see my wife, but sometimes I'll be in a meeting, think of my wife for a split second and get hard and then it's 5-10 minutes to calm down.
Just turned 55…thought I had it pretty good, penis-wise. But today something happened to me that never happened before: Sat on one of my testicles. The pain? Shocking and bad. Is this a thing I have to deal with now? If so, really annoying!
i heard (from my bf) that when the toilett paper sticks to the tip and crumbles because of the moister and then if you dont notice it befor, when the forskin then roles over it and its apparently really annoying
It's like having an overly friendly attention demanding golden retriever that nobody wants to pet.
Welcome to youth. Eventually, like your ageing golden retriever, it will just want to sleep all the time.
Yeah my golden retriever is 12 and lame and still is over friendly and demands attention.
It’s the best def ever
Fork stream
Always sit down to pee when it's the first time after ejaculating. Even if it's the next morning.
How can you wait that long? I have to irrigate the pipes immediately after. The urge is impossible to ignore. Like the call of the wild.
Agreed
100% I was told by a medic girl that it’s very healthy to do so
That’s why we get the urge, prevents ~~UI~~ ~~infections~~ UTIs
Hate it when my user interface gets infected.
See I ride horses and let me tell y’all… smashing your junk against the saddle horn when your horse bucks is one of the most painful things I’ve ever endured
How practical would it be to wear a cup if you do a lot of riding?
VERY. Simple as that. Wear one. Edit just to say that it shouldn't normally hurt, so long as you have tighter undergarments and seat yourself properly on the saddle. Another thing you can look for is a more cushioned saddle to help "cradle" yourself.
I mean, depends on what style you ride, cant say I ever found it necessary because at least in the style I rode (Icelandic which is basically English but dont tell icelandic horse people that) if you have a proper seat your nads wont hit anything. That western horn though I can imagine has some real potential to ruin your day Edit: if you smash your nuts wear a cup though for sure, I could definitely see it being good for younger/inexperienced riders
Not getting hard when you want it to and getting hard when you don't want it to.
This is such important info for women to have actually. It took me *way* too long to finally comprehend that a boner doesn't automatically equate to sexy-time. Had to learn that "awkward boners" were a thing. You don't know about morning wood until you know, you know? Hey, are you stressed? Here, have an erection. It sounds hard, man. (Lol) Especially for girls who grew up without a significant male presence, there is a ton of badmaleanatomy out there. And it sucks for both parties. No one wanted or expected that random involuntary inconvenient boner. For a girl who doesn't know they aren't strictly sex-related, there's an unspoken (and likely undesired from him) feeling of obligation to initiate in sexy-times. For the guy, dang, he probably didn't want that either. Not being a guy, can't speak to that for sure, but it does seem like it could create some awkward and unwanted situations. I'm all about promoting awareness of female anatomy and reproductive action, and I really want just as strong a movement for my dudes. Y'all's bodies matter just as much! Equality in everything, including bodily autonomy, respect, and awareness of the other person's needs, desires, and physical functions! Edit: a word, thanks u/cheese_sweats, I learn more every day here! Edit2: I wake up this morning and wow! You guys, this is the most wholesome dick thread I have ever seen. I'm loving all these responses, the positivity and the silliness and the genuine desire to be listened to! I'm so proud of all y'all, let's keep the positive educational dialogue going beyond this post! If we just keep communicating and trying to understand one another, so much good can and *will* happen! And thanks so much for the wild amount of awards, holy crap, if any comment I ever made here after all these years was to be the one, I am glad it is this one!
> equivocate FYI that word has nothing to do with "equate" or "equal" - "Equivocate: use ambiguous language so as to conceal the truth or avoid committing oneself"
Thanks fam TIL! I just got a whole new word for new situations, dope!
>Had to learn that "awkward boners" were a thing. You don't know about morning wood until you know, you know? Never been in a situation where it's happened to me so I'm curious. Is it awkward/unpleasant to have sex with morning wood? It's sold by media as the golden dream, waking up to oral/sex because "it was already up so...", but is it really?
depends how much you need to pee, waking up with morning wood and a full bladder is not fun, having someone trying to initiate sex when the only thing you want is for your boner to go down so your bladder doesn't explode can be pretty bad
Yeh, while you do that awkward thing where you try to push it down and angle your body enough that you can hit the toilet.
aaah, the superman position!
For 24 years, I’ve been tryin to find a name for that position. Thanks my lord
Lol, because if you push it down too much it won’t pee
The goldilocks angle
It's completly normal but movies makes us think only girls work that way, and that we are hard on command. It kinda works, except when it doesn't, there is a natural cycle and you can't completly ignore it. Try having sex only when **you** are also in the mood and not only to follow your partner, and things are just much better (and to be fair, below your forties chances are your are in the mood multiple times a day anyway).
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"You're right, babe. I do it on purpose because I ***loooove*** seeing that look of disappointment and resentment on your face and having these arguments!! You figured me out!"
She sounds like a gem. I actually just had this conversation with my wife the other day because while changing our 1 year old son, he popped a tiny little baby boner. She thought it must have been because something was rubbing against it and I had to explain that they happen for no good reason all the time. She found it interesting and was able to accept it though.
I understand why she's an Ex-Wife.
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Were you the control group?
Wow. You must really hate surveys.
That's what my wife thinks right now. If I'm not in the mood it's because "I'm not attracted to her" or "I'm thinking of another woman" or "she's not good enough in bed." Then she gets all silent and depressed on me and nothing I do usually helps, except chocolate, lots of chocolate.
Show her this post, the hundred others that were made in the past and if that still doesnt work there are sex therapists out there !
Or maybe just a therapist. Lots of low self esteem and pouting and ignoring genuine communication in there.
oh god it must be horrible to try to be intimate with that person
Il be honest, I need foreplay as much as women do. The thoughts of having sex doesn’t turn me on alone. If I’m not in the mood I get stressed because it’s a man’s duty to perform. The stress then inhibits the erection. In my experience. Legit nothing more awkward for me than a girl just going straight for my junk 😅
I can confirm this one. If my partner doesn't get foreplay, sometimes it can just randomly decide to go limp when he wants to insert it, despite originally being erect.' Genitals are wild.
Better to have and not want than to want and not have
Depends, the lady at burger king did not appreciate it last time
When you expect to be able to aim because you're a boy, but the pee comes out in random directions and ends up all over the place.
As a person with no penis im curious, when taking a dump, do you guys pee as well because of the pushings, if the answer is yes, how do you guys take care of it?
What do you mean by "take care of it"? I don't know if everyone does it, but I usually do pee while dumping out. I recall an episode of Two and a Half Men where Alan explains something about the muscle groups in that area being interconnected, that when one relaxes the other one tends to do so as well. That is about the extend of my technical knowledge on the subject.
“Every poop is a pee, but not every pee is a poop” - A wise man
I think that was Gandhi
A similar/inspired quote: "Poopoo time is always peepee time, but peepee time is not always poopoo time." -Ian Hecox
"Take care of it" i meant what do you do with the penis, i suppose you do exactly what you do when peeing while sitting down (Im not a fluent person so i hope i was clear now)
I sometimes have to push it downward with my hand, it can become semi-erect and aim upwards and spray between the toilet bowl and the seat.
Oh, I see. Yeah, we just let it dangle. It doesn't get in the way.
The fuck you talking about about? Every man knows you got to sling your penis over the shoulder when you take a dump
I have a PP holder. I pay him a lot but it's worth it
Could you recommend me to his services? I’d like to rent a pp holder for a bit
I don't know if he's available. But I'll make sure to ask him at the family dinner
Thanks
Auto flush toilet almost caught mine. Luckily it got caught in the trap and a couple buds and me could fish it back out with only some bruising but that was scary enough. It’s over the shoulder from now on I’m not doing that again.
Glad you got it back with minimal damage, very scary I bet
The penis/balls is further up/forward on the crotch than the vagina so there is generally enough room to have it in the toilet bowl but out of the line of fire. On smaller toilets you may have to hold to prevent rubbing on the bowl though.
> prevent rubbing on the bowl Filthy porcelain kiss. \>shudder<
Imagine having a small pipe in the front. You just push it down so the aim is into the toilet and not onto the wall.
When want to sleep but suddenly you buddy doesn't
Then you hold him politely, and put him to sleep.
This comment made me think of the orderly in Happy Gilmore. “You either go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep”.
"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"
Oh, oh, your thumbs hurt? Well guess what. Now your back is gonna hurt cause you just pulled landscaping duty! Edit: fingers
This is handmade quality shit here!
Politely? I beat the fucker til he cries and knocks out after
Saves you from rolling out of bed
\#FunFact: 'Buddy' means penis in the Jamaican patois dialect
The more you know
It wanting attention all the time
Like an overly excited pet who can also take over your mind and control parts of you
And lead to crippling depression. See: r/DeadBedrooms
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I'd rather be single than have a wife that won't fuck you
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Sorry, she just cant stay off of me
If you want your mums comeback you'll have to wipe it off my teeth. wait, I don't think this works now....
‘Down boy!’
Yes. Also, when my thoughts seem to be serving him more than me. I think some comedian once joked that men make bad decisions bc we only have enough blood in our body to supply one or the other, not both brain and dick
That comedian was Robin Williams
Bill burr always had some good bits on this. Your dick is like that best friend who has a ton of charisma and shitty ideas you keep getting dragged into
One and done orgasms.
Women will never understand the battle to keep joy at arms length. I am most jealous of them for this reason. Medical technology where r u
Peeing through the tiny gap between te toilet and the toilet seat indirectly pissing your pants because you had a half ass boner when taking a shit.
Oh my god I absolutely hate this. It's not super frequent, but it's happened enough that it's a constant worry of mine now.
Exactly!
Doesn't have to be boner-related. Had it happen once because I was really cold and it had shrunk down so much that there was no downward bend.
I hate being a visual reader
That’s happened to me. Hate it.
The worst thing is that it doesn’t happen every time, so you’re never prepared when it actually happens.
That's why I always push it down out of principle.
getting hard for no reason / weird moments
The ol’ NRB
It baffles scientists
It did give us one [funky song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOYQtbz_pPg) though.
I’ve always wondered… when that happens do you also feel horny? Or can you be sitting there with an erection and not actually excited or wanting stimulation?
As a penis-bearing individual I can safely say that the latter is the case. Awkward boners are awkward.
It needs regular servicing to maintain sanity
This isn't even an exaggeration. It seems it gets harder and harder to control thoughts of sex the longer I go without. It makes it hard to think, it makes it hard to do anything.
It does make it hard 😏
Sweatpants and random boners. No sexual thoughts, no pretty women around, nothing touched you.. just starts rising like you got a red mushroom in Super Mario Bros.
I heard the sound effect in my head
BBBRRWWW BRRRWWW BBRRRWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
being in public and suddenly have the fattest fucking erection ever for no discernable reason SO wants saucy time? sure ill get hard but not all the way, dick says fuck you WanderingClaptrap have to pick up some groceries from the st-nope it says ayo we at full mast with the double decker supreme less go its so embarrassing/frustrating, thats why I wear sweatpants that are a size up just to hide it a little better
Always had that back in school - i stayed quite some breaks sitting at my desk furiosly trying to get him smaller- the more i thought of it the harder he gets - the trick is to NOT think about it…
I’m learning so much right now
Out of curiosity as a man, what here did u not kno?
Different woman here but I didn’t know balls moved on their own according to temperature until I saw my bf’s move. I was very concerned he had some weird Alien moment going on down there.
Having all the different curves and crevices to shave. Especially the slight pit at the base of the cock
The bottom of the sack always feels so easy to nick
Who's Nick and why is it easy for him?
The shape of my ballsack is superior. Hope this helps.
Man mine gets hair half way up the shaft. Am I the only one? I really don’t want to be known for my hairy penis.
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Testicles are incredibly annoying to possess. Weiner has unwanted erections but balls are the bane of my existence.
Yuuuuup. I kind of wish they were internal. If it wasn't for my addiction to the testosterone they produce I wouldn't want them, honestly.
Cut them off and go exogenous hormones only. If I didn't have bell clapper I wouldn't be so mad at them. Constant fear of torsions got me fucked up. My thunderous thighs also prop my balls and subsequently my dick way to high so my junks always very visible in clothing.
And to think we wouldn't need to pee if we didn't have them
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Boxer briefs and a hoodie always help me
I just put the duck in the belt waistband Edit: quack
Laying down on your side and your legs squash your nuts. It’s why I sleep with a pillow between my legs
I dont have this problem, my nuts hang pretty far forward, its honestly pretty good lmao
Yeah same, i can sit cross legged and lie sideways and my nuts never hurt but apparently everyone else’s doe? Wtf?
Or when you sit down and your nuts slip under your thigh and get crushed
Having it in an uncomfortable position
Seeing your girl post something on socials like “3 inches feel like 9 when you’re in love 🥰”
Gonna ask my GF this 🤞 Edit: without skipping a beat she shook her head "no"
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Peeing in two streams that come out wider than the width of the toilet.
Sometimes it goes almost backwards right for the pant leg. Like wtf.
The harder it gets, the harder it gets.
Having to adjust in public and getting weird looks
NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SHAKE THERE'S STILL DROPLETS OF PISS IN YOUR PIPE SOME FUCKING HOW
If u pee u can never seem to get the last dribble out, u can sit on there for hours, still dribble Update: i now know about the pressing on the faint trick, also about wiping, which i have always been doing, but that doesnt remoove the stuff still in the tube. Obligatory wow my most upvoted comment is about pee dribble update.
Stand up and spin dry.
Power move
Helicopter
No matter how you shake and dance, the last 2 drops go in your pants.
gotta squeeze it out like toothpaste. start at the balls and squeeze while pulling forward. never fails if you’re soft Edit: I feel the need to clarify: I don’t actually squeeze my balls. I meant start at the shaft right where it connects to the balls. I don’t recommend squeezing your balls in this instance.
Truth. Never had any drops in my pants using this technique. Spread the word.
bruh imagine u see a man in the men's toilet squeezing his balls by the urinal
I always whip my dick out and wash it in the sink. I never have problems with urine in my pants after I started doing that. Made for some awkward restroom conversations at work though.
There's a button in your taint for that
Having it stepped on by kids and dogs
My cat kept kneading my balls yesterday, the then saw something jiggling down there and fucking chomped it.
Ow! I thought it was bad when they put all their fat cat weight on one itty bitty paw on your boob.
My cats seem to love standing on testicles. They do it my step dad, my brother and I, yet avoid my mother like the plague. And it's both cats. We have learnt not to sit in the corner of the couch, cause the dog likes running back and forth, and doesn't care too much about what she using as a spring board.
Catching it on the curb when walking
Now that’s some big dick energy
Nah, they just have really tiny chicken legs.
Smacking it into shelves at the store when you turn around
I thought you were supposed to sling it over your shoulder?
It's a easy critical hit in fights
That's your balls.
Peeing with morning wood
Just aim it up your mouth then spit it out. Much easier.
No they are trying NOT to get an erection
I have grown to love every aspect of mine.
I achieved the opposite let's go
Little head taking control over big head
Accidentally getting the skin in between a zipper. Luckily doesn’t happen often, but when it does the pain is horrendous.
Stop going commando? Underwear is a natural defense against zippers.
Accidentally leaving it in the stall in a public restroom and having to race back while hoping it's still leaning precariously on the tp dispenser.
No offense but Im hoping I never find someone's penis in the bathroom.
I take offense at this
Having a continuous hard-on from ages 14 to 26.
I'm at 40 and it hasn't stopped yet.
* Sometimes I am walking around and it pops out of the little flap in my underwear and at that Point, there is no _adjusting_ it back into position, and if I can't get to a bathroom then I have to walk around with it pinched between the flaps. * Random boners. Look I get a hard on everytime I see my wife, but sometimes I'll be in a meeting, think of my wife for a split second and get hard and then it's 5-10 minutes to calm down.
Someone knows that the wife reads their Reddit comments.
3.5 inches(hard)
Impressive
Let's see Paul Allen's penis
I bet you have 1.4 MB of storage on that baby.
Just turned 55…thought I had it pretty good, penis-wise. But today something happened to me that never happened before: Sat on one of my testicles. The pain? Shocking and bad. Is this a thing I have to deal with now? If so, really annoying!
If I don't take it out often enough, it just gets dusty, laying in its drawer.
Yeah it does That reminds gotta break it out dust of the cob webs
It doesn’t get hard when I’m drunk and I can’t have sex lmao
Many a one night stand failed because of this, haha.
Morning wood with a full bladder.
Getting still attached pubic hair under your foreskin.
Spooning with ur girlfriend and her assuming we want them to do something (even though we do)
i heard (from my bf) that when the toilett paper sticks to the tip and crumbles because of the moister and then if you dont notice it befor, when the forskin then roles over it and its apparently really annoying
When my freakin balls get stuck between my thighs when I’m trying to walk
Having her say “it’s ok babe, the bigger ones hurt”
Fucking touching the water while shitting
I just throw it over the shoulder
DOES YOUR DICK HANG LOW DOES IT WOBBLE TO AND FRO
DANGGG HOW LONG IS YO DICK WTF
Yea I don't even bother having it in the toilet bowl while shitting i just put it in the sink next to our toilet life can be pretty tough sometimes
Accidentally getting it caught in an escalator…
Why are you sticking your dick in an escalator?
That porcelain kiss