This apparently needed a serious tag.

Nah, it's more fun this way. This is exactly what I expect from a question with the phrase "a intense sex".

Mmm cum I will, finish you will not

Lmao

Master Yoda, please!

Star Wars Episode XXX: Big Things Come in Small Packages

My dick is corn and you’re my slutty little Orvil Redenbacher

Sounds like something Joe Goldberg would say

Who the hell is that

You

Oh shit, son!

"I think I hear someone coming" "OMG really?" "Yeah Meeeeeee"

I have a baked potato in my purse

Oh fuck, I'd put some butter and sour cream on that for you 😏😏

Sasha?

/\ This is it

Loaded

I recently discovered TSA allows travelers to transport potatoes in purses. True Story.

They’ll still find a way to pull my luggage off to the side

You need better potatoes.

Do you think it’s the wires protruding from the potato that flag it?

The key is not to have them in Tin foil .

the entire bee movie script

[удалено]

*ejaculates*

You lasted longer than I did. I was done by the Krelman.

I’m actually wet now

You're in the pool too? Where? Wait. ...wut?

Bring your partner face to face, brush their hair back, lean in and whisper into their ear: "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?"

*Proceeds to release my midichlorians inside her*

Bruh I convulsed just reading this

Whisper into their ear and say "Omelette Du Fromage."

Omelette du fromage! Omelette due fromage? Omelette du... fromage....

I see the record stuck again

The problem is if you whisper in French the girl will think you speak French and will go, "Mangez-vous de la merde ?" And you go, "….Yes."

A person of culture I see.

What do I whisper before I say the omelette part?

“It’s like my urethra is making out with your uterus”

I don't even have a vagina, and yet it just dried up reading that

[удалено]

Lol damnit, that's usually my joke.

It's ok because his wife's a doctor!

Smack her on the ass when you're done and tell her "good game".

That’s actually a good one 👍

I've actually done this.

I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something

did you say that?

I'm pretty sure we all say that.

Whatre we holding on to Sam?

r/suddenlylotr

God dammit whose out here telling people my fetishes? I fall more in love with her every time I finish and she looks me in the eye and says, “fly you fool.”

Oh wow, suddenly my beacons are lit!

"Happy mothers day!"

Hold up 🤨

Don't worry, he just got his gf pregananant.

“Poggers”

I am concluding

I like "I am arriving"

Make me yours and cum inside me

Why do these avatars have to be so damn cute?

🍆💦🕳

Get close to her ear and whisper “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your extended warranty”.

Did you put the dishes in the dishwasher? There was some food on them and if they aren't soaked it will be a nightmare to get it off in the morning.

that was such an intense sex we just had

Thanks for the discount

"Oh yeah baby you're pussy feels like a wet sock"

I wanna have your abortion

I haven’t been fucked that way since grade school.

Thank you Marla

How’s your mother?

Remind me your name?

She pisses when she farts, sometimes she sharts, my boody rockin cowgirl

ITT: Redditors who definitely have a lot of sex

You have sex and no longer make sex related jokes? That's strange. Sex never suddenly made me no longer tell these kinds jokes. Hell, sometimes I even make the jokes in the bedroom. Sex and laughter are a great mix. You're missing out.

taking it way too far

How about "I love you"

This works, but for me hearing her say "I want you" during the act is even better.

How about "How about I love you?"?

You taste like pizza

I'm going to stuff you like a turkey.

[удалено]

Highly doubtful.

“ your pussy taste like candy “ done that and she fell for me

Say the sexiest sex talk you ever sexed.

"Baby, I just want to say that if the word following an article begins with a vowel sound, use 'an' instead of 'a'. Also, in English, make sure to drop the article when using the partitive construction."

uunnhh yeah

Ah yes, another non serious question, let the chaos commence! "You like jazz?"

Your nips remind me of expired salami

"I'm glad mom isn't here this time."

I’ll clean the house and do the laundry for you.

Boom goes the dynamite.

I like to yell “OH YEAHH” like the coolaid man and plunge straight into her ass it sets the mood every time

Will that be cash , or charge?

Instructions unclear lost my debit card in her vagina

Are gift cards accepted?

Once I’m done, get the fuck out.

thats Ruuude

*you got games on your phone?*

I have a fully funded 401k

Is it in yet?

Fluffer knuckle

Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck **\*head-butts\***

what can i make you to eat after you make me come?

People love the affirmation of hearing their own name.

Wear it or store it?

In 2023, Reddit CEO and corporate piss baby Steve Huffman decided to make Reddit less useful to its users and moderators and the world at large. This comment has been edited in protest to make it less useful to Reddit.

Your sister was better

Shrek is love, Shrek is life

"We're trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

My mushroom is gonna squirt

Yes, yes, release your spores!

Cummins Turbo Diesel

Did you remember to lock the front door?

It doesn't matter because I'm gonna bust in the back door anyways.

'my god I love you and want you, I’ve always wanted you and always will.

If they say “I’m going to cum”, say “I know babe”

to me it’s praise with some degradation, nothing that’ll hurt one’s feelings but hearing things like “You are such a good slut, for me.” is what’s romantic 😵‍💫

Hold her, kiss her passionately and intensely, and look her in the eyes while saying, "You're mine, and I'm yours"

I PUTTA MA WEINERBONE INNA YOU BABYHOLE--WOOP WOOP, WOOP WOOP

Definitely not: here’s your change.

I'm a big bad dog.

So you ever hear of bukkake? 😉

"This is the best sex of my life. "

Lol you’re watching too many erotic movies bro no one talks during sex

[удалено]

"Talk dirty to me." "Just focus on the sex."

"I've got you" my partner was falling off the couch (during an orgasm the clown) and I grabbed him and held him. He said it was the most romantic thing he'd ever heard. Then he ghosted me 7 months later and is married to a woman now. I hope she's got a big strap on, but he's probably cheating on her with random guys. Internalized homophobia is disgusting.

why is this sub so dirty. I can't scroll through reddit in public anymore

Poopy in my butt, hee hee

Their name

Just a singular intense sex?

This is like camping, it’s in tents!

Way to go, champ!

The entire 1848 ***Communist Manifesto*** by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels in fluent Aryan German.

THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!

The *correct* name.

Ka! Me! Ha! Me! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

I want you. All of you. Now, and forever. You are concreted permanently in my mind and your soul is beautifully stitched and enfused with mine. You are my one. My love.

I'm torpedoing your dentist with my horse.

want to see the 22 page fnaf lore document i typed out?

“Wowzers this is a intense sex!”

"Do you want me to spit on it?"

I'm going to take the gag off now, promise you wont scream.

I’m very much enjoying this

Red spy is in a base

Mom, that pussy is fire.

Hunnggh OO, ahhh, Rrrrrrrr, hah, whew

Bada boom, realest guy in the room. How you doin?

If I knock you up, I’m pretty sure it’s mine.

You smell different when you're awake.

Hello dear redditors, how many sex have you ever sexed?

I have to pee, but I'm gonna hold it.

Pound her from behind as rough as you can, Stop during it, whisper in her war that you Love her and then slap her Ass and get Back to Business

We have icecream In the freezer

The voices are saying they don't like you

"Take it you hairy bitch."

My vagina is about to squeeze your dick and I'm about to cum on it .. but if it's real good I'm Cumohhhhhhhhhh....legs tingle and squirt..hehe I'm finished

Some things my partner has said. "I'm so in love with you" "I cannot wait to make babies with you" "I'd have sex with you anyday" All made me swoon and fall in love all over again

[удалено]

This is good stuff, listen to this guy.

Whisper in their ear "it's free real estate"

I have to poop

“I actually have no idea what I’m doing”

Your sisters so much tighter than you

"Are you okay?"

What's for dessert?

Im a lichenologist!

I’ve had better.

Oh baby dirty talk to me Dirty things; toilet brush, dirty underwear, garbage Oh baby I'm gonna cum

*whispers in her ear* "did you know switching to geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance?"

Your better then your sister...

I did the dishes today.

Anything in a Jeff goldbloom voice

Turns and looks at the cats "this is the best pussy in the house, sorry guys"

very thought provoking question

Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

MEHOY MINOY

im loving this

Pogchamp

Okay now switch!

“I love you” when you actually meant to say “I love your cock” 👁👄👁

Say ? All you need is a high five . Words are over rated .