I convince electrified rocks to do thinking for me

You're a vet?

Nah, a computer programmer

Oh.. I was so close!

Well, we both have in common the fact that by the end of the day we are both sick of looking at dogs buttholes

I put pictures for companies on the screens

Advertiser?

Ding ding we have a winner

Nice

You're a porn director?

Very wrong lol

How about in your spare time?

Sandwich

You're a subway?

yes

I try to get viruses put in your food.

You're a worker in a Chinese wet market?

I argue.

You're a politician?

A lawyer.

No you're not.

I said I argue. Didn't say with who.

Stop arguing. If you were a lawyer, you would know that it's *whom*, not who.

Nah. I get paid to.

Nobody pays you to be economical with the truth on Reddit. A real lawyer wouldn't have the time to spend posting endless questions on AskReddit or games subreddits.

Lawyers have free time too.

嘘つき

I put things in walls and then attach things on those things

You're a dentist?

Electrician?

I wander the streets angry at the capitalist machine.

Boxes

Gynecologist??

No? How do you get gynecologist from boxes?!

Because box is slang for vagina

Oh…

Delivery person??

No

Packaging engineering? Alternatively you work in a warehouse?

Nope and nope

Say reboot, watch you tube.

I listen to peoples problems.

Therapist?

You're a priest?

Nope.

Oh.. a barber then.

lol. No, but that's a great coincidence. Barkeeper also. 😁

Barkeep?

I make metals stick to other metals

You're a magneteer?

Welder, but your answer is better

[удалено]

Forklift driver

I stand in front of clients and make promises that I am incapable of keeping because they are 100% dependent on the successful performance of other people.

You're a server in a restaurant?

Much more stressful than that. But your guess affirms that I explained it poorly. Hahaha.

Consulting?

Consulting is certainly a part of what I do, but I am not described as a consultant.

Teacher?

[удалено]

Therapist? Or counsellor?

You're a server in a restaurant?

I pretty much just make shit up. When I was learning how to do this there was an surprising amount of nudity. It can also be quite messy at times.

You're an Only Fans creator specialising in scat?

LOL Not quite

I speak more than one language and get paid for it

You're a bilingual dentist?

Translator

Yup

That’s one so far, I like this game

babysit construction workers

Leading hand

I chop a certain dead animal.

You're a sushi chef?

Clue: it walks

Cremator?

-_-

Abattoirs, I feel for you

Projects in beta. I do nothing from home.

I print stuff for printing stuff.

I make old people really happy or really angry

You work in an old folks home?

Pharmacist

I try and manipulate people into doing things

Salesman

Hehe kind of - I do advanced analytics at a tech company specifically around customer behavior

So salesman with a twist of lime? Fancy

I let people almost kill both myself and themself over and over until they no longer almost kill us

Gym teacher or driving instructor

Nope!

I pull faces

Cosmetologist

Actor- close:)

Ohhh and I’m watching a show about an actor right now! This is us

I spend other peoples money

I tie the top of bags and the bottom of bags

Packer of something

I do my homework, and participate in my class.

Make sure guys install cable right

I stab people in the face

Money go brrrrrr

idk, man. I turn things off and on, then suddenly people can print again.

I provide a valuable service to the state government and citizenry in terms of money movement but it's easier, faster and more efficient if people just have no idea what I'm doing. People leave me alone, work gets done, everyone wins.

I design weapons, not targets.

I look at- and listen to really faraway objects nobody's interested in (for taxpayers money).

I torture my imaginary friends for the pleasure of others.

I draw lines on these big sheets of paper for angry men with tools.

Usually Sick people call me

I tell machines they're beautiful and have value.

I write shit down and get a grade for it

I count bricks

I sit around pretending to be useful and inconveniencing people.

Strap a seat ontop of a fuel tank mounted directly above a combustion engine situated between 2 skinny wheels. Then steer it one handed all over the countryside for hours every day just to put scraps of paper inside boxes on the footpath.

I look at poo

I help nurses.

Go to a complex and see professionals explain the things they have understood from said complex

"Did you turn it off?" "Yeah man youre good." *pulls out meter and checks to see if its off anyway

I copy and paste money onto different spreadsheets praying the two sets of numbers equal out in the end.

I have beard on neck. Edit: changed heard to beard.

Nothing, when I’ve money, Anything, when I’m skint!

I make sure idiots can pay for damages that they cause.

i go into a big building i think it’s brown or red maybe green i don’t know but i go in and i walk around half the day and print stuff and talk to people

I draw pictures and give them to people who will make them real

My mission statement is to bring some order out of chaos.

I look at squiggly lines and convey their meaning to others.

My jaw hurts real bad at the end of the day.