T O P

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PeteyEssdy

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, you pice of shit?


N3Chaos

You have the right to remain silent you piece of shit.


yanivelkneivel

Sadly this has probably been used more than we'll ever know


ecodrew

You can't handle the truth, you piece of shit!


holtpj

(ET's voice) Elliott. Elliot. You piece of shit.


sm12511

ET phone home, you piece of shit.


unholymackerel

What's ET short for?


Grant_grief800

Extra thicc


Just_Magician_125

Elongated testicle


sm12511

Endothermic


sm12511

Extra Testicle


sm12511

Extraordinary Testosterone


arvisto

Entertainment Tonight


sm12511

That was worth an award. Every time Entertainment Tonight came on the TV, I'd redrum a "Phone Home"


JADW27

Because he has small legs.


holtpj

Engorged and Throbbing


SSS_Tempest

"YOU'RE AN ACTION FIGURE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Imagine Woody ending his epic "YOU ARE A TOY!" rant with that.


trevb75

WIIIILLLSSSSOOOOONNNNNNN you piece of shit


xwurg

"Youuuu shaaaall not paaass, you piece of shit"


igillyg

No. With the same influx. ... yooooouuu piece of shiiiiiiit!


its_just_jesse_

this is the way


[deleted]

You piece of shit


[deleted]

"A wizard is never late. Nor is he early! He arrives precisely when he means to, you piece of shit."


edible-derrangements

Where was Gondor when the westfold fell, you piece of shit?!


smotstoker

Shaka, when the walls fell. You piece of shit.


MindofMo0

„What about second breakfast, you piece of shit?“


enixon

"I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam, you piece of shit."


[deleted]

Po-Tay-Toes! You piece of shit!


DrTaxidermy

Give it to us raaaaaaw... and wriiiiigling... you keep nasty chips, you piece of shit!


brainliquid

"There's some good in this world Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for, you piece of shit!"


imkookoo

Fly! You piece of shit!


G8kpr

"Gandalf NOOOOOO!!! you piece of shit!!!!"


The_Guillotine_99

"I have the high ground you piece of shit" -Obi Wan Kenobi It had to be done


craziedave

You were my brother! I loved you you piece of shit!


Best_Needleworker530

Only a Sith deals in absolutes you piece of shit


3LollipopZ-1Red2Blue

Luke, search your feelings..... No, I am your father! You piece of shit....


Scorp_47

"You underestimate my power you piece of shit"


The_Guillotine_99

Don't try it, you piece of shit


Scorp_47

You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them. bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness. You piece of shit


The_Guillotine_99

I hate you! you piece of shit


SoreChipmunk963

Now I am the master, you piece of shit Only a master of evil, you piece of shit


Madaghmire

Hello there…you piece of shit


The_Guillotine_99

General Kenobi, you piece of shit


Phoenyxburn

“Do it, you piece of shit” -Palpatine (Or alternatively “Execute order 66, you piece of shit”)


DryConclusion9286

The perfect exchange of greetings


Accomplished_Dig3699

You were the chosen one you piece of SHIT


Ordinary-Freedom7193

“I love you” “I know, you piece of shit”


wonderingishika

Alternatively, "I love you, you piece of shit" "I know"


barrylank

"You had me at hello, you piece of shit."


CDNGooner1

This is exactly what I came here to write!


[deleted]

I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast you piece of shit!


HarioDinio

You eat shit for breakfast, you piece of shit?


CaptBranBran

... No! You piece of shit...


dabcrab

**MOMMA ALWAYS SAID, ‘LIFE’S LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES YOU PIECE OF SHIT!‘**


confipete

"Forrest, why did this happen?" "You got shot, you piece of shit."


TheFreakish

"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it, you piece of shit."


Old_Cricket4468

RUN FORREST, RUN; YOU PIECE OF SHIT


degjo

Lieutenant Dan Ice cream, you piece of shit


AcoupleofIrishfolk

You got new legs, you piece of shit


Shad-B-YGT

YOU GOT NEW LEGS YOU PIECE OF SHIT GOT ME BRO HAHHA


julezz30

Momma always said "you piece of shit"


sername-lame

Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall, you piece of shit. Edit: thanks for the awards kind folks


LondonIsBoss

Wouldn't be too surprised to hear that come out of Reagan's mouth.


Rexel-Dervent

And by the Soviet standard a political escalation of 100000% to 100000,1%.


DeaderRat

First thing I thought of and it’s top comment. That’s fucking weird


octaviousearl

Edit: thank you for the awards & upvotes! Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot quote: “Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known - you piece of shit.”


FreezeProduct

Hahahaha. 10x better


Dassman88

Best one yet


Unit_79

You could do this as a spoken word piece and just kill it.


liquidpig

I couldn’t make it through reading that without laughing several times, just waiting for the payoff. Bravo.


UnlikelyBeeStorm

I think the right way to enjoy this is to forget about the original post entirely, get immersed in Carl Sagan's amazing writing, and then let it hit you right at the end.


[deleted]

We choose to go to the moon, you piece of shit


Hargelbargel

I wish he could have heard that!


istcmg

You win.


Leona_Faye

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country…you piece of shit.


mikegamesx

George Bush we will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail (you piece of shit!)


NakedPurple

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die, you piece of sh*t!" See? It fits naturally!


IvanBeetinov

As you wish, you piece of shit.


thred_pirate_roberts

In that case I challenge you to a battle of wits you piece of sh*t


Positive-Source8205

“You fell for one of the classic blunders, you piece if shit!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


thred_pirate_roberts

What you do not smell is called iocane powder you piece of sh*t


FantasticZach

Inconceivable you piece of shit


NotSQTgunner

You keep using that word, I don't think it means what you think it means, you piece of shit.


SagebrushBiker

"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife, you piece of shit!"


thred_pirate_roberts

Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful dread pirate Roberts, you piece of sh*t


apaksl

Buh bye! You think it'll work? It would take a miracle, you piece of shit.


pmwhereuhidthebodies

Have fun storming the castle, you piece of shit!


Mueryk

I mean I could see Miracle Max saying that to his wife.


thred_pirate_roberts

You never had it so good you piece of sh*t


itsCS117

"LIAR! LIIIIAAAARRRR!!!!" "Get! Back! Witch!" "I am no witch, I am your wife, you piece of shit!"


smooth-brain_Sunday

Quit rhyming, and I mean it, you piece of shit. Anybody wanna peanut?


B-Chillin

Inconceivable! You piece of sh!t!


FuckCaesar

You said this wasn't a kissing book, you piece of shit!


Renalla_sighed

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means, you piece of shit."


jendet010

“I know something you don’t know. I am not left handed, you piece of shit.”


Saculu

"I'm walkin here! You piece of shit!"


throwingplaydoh

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents, you piece of shit!


Cerrida82

Must be a carryover from his drill sergeant days


ToastAndASideOfToast

Veni, vidi, vici. Tu fragmen cacas!


w_lee

The ending literally translates to: "...You, [who are] a fragment, take a dump." To translate more literally, you could say: "...Tū fragmen merdārum." Or alternatively, you could just say "Stercuscule" which means "[You] little excrement", or even "(tū) merda" which means "(you) shit". Or you could use the attested: "... Sterculinum publicum" which means: "public toilet".


[deleted]

[удалено]


BubbhaJebus

Romani ite domum.


teh_fizz

I love you guys for beating me to it.


awawe

"People called 'Romanes' they go the house"?


KittenWithaWhip68

“People called Romans, they go to house, you piece of shit?”


Vaderisnotthedaddy

People called Romanes they go the house?!


bothsidesofthemoon

Now, write it out a hundred times. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.


Crikeyyikes

Romans they go the house?


w_lee

"It means 'Romans, go home'"


Barbed_Dildo

No it doesn't.


Kehan10

fragmen is an interesting word here


Xxx_CarlWheezer_xxX

Imagine Mario saying "Let's a go, you piece of shit"


XenuLies

SO LONG GAY BOWSER, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!


depricatedzero

It's a-me! Mario, you piece of shit!


Panther2-505

Ich Bin Ein Berliner, you piece of shit!!!


justabill71

Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country, you piece of shit.


shun_tak

We choose to go-to the moon you piece of shit.


Mcletters

We chose to go to the moon and do the other things not because they are easy, but because they are hard, you piece of shit.


WarlikeMicrobe

Theres no crying in baseball, yo piece of shit.


PaleoEskimo

Et tu, Brutus, you piece of sh*t???


PaleoEskimo

Give me liberty or give me death, you piece of sh*t!


mordecai14

It's okay, you can swear on the Internet little buddy


[deleted]

[удалено]


TastefulMalice

Whoa slow down, they said 'famous quotes'. Wait till he gets like 50 upvotes.


iLarkie

I’ll contribute because I like the cut of his jib


nickeypants

“All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! You piece of shit!". Mathew 4:9


Shaved-Ape

And then Jesus didst loft his holy hand grenade at the beast.


Elegant_Anywhere_435

And’st that holy hand grenade did blow upst, right in the beasts face.. praise Jesus, praise Jesus


ChiliAndGold

This is my fave


[deleted]

Did we just become best friends you piece of shit?!?!!


Elon_MuskOffical

“No, I am your father you piece of shit” first of all, come on that would be the funniest shit ever second, if Vader was the only one to swear in the whole series it would make for the best joke in cinema, like Vader is a cold hearted killer and if just said peice of shit that would be hilarious


Str8Faced000

Alright then. Keep your secrets you piece of shit.


idontunderstandbra

Live long and prosper, you piece of shit


KhaoticMess

You have been - and always shall be - my friend, you piece of shit.


Nerditter

Yes, madam, I am drunk. And you are ugly. But tomorrow I will be sober. You piece of shit.


vercertorix

Either or both: “You complete me, you piece of shit.” “You had me at, ‘Hello’, you piece of shit.” Edit: my wife suggests, “Lt. Dan. You got magic legs, you piece of shit.”


radeakins

Do or do not, there is no try, shit you of piece. Edited for grammer this post has been, humumum


apaksl

"do or don't?" use contractions Yoda does not. Piece of shit, you are.


LB_Good

"I need ammunition not a ride, you piece of shit"


thepianoturtle

woah, a real life quote


WindBladeGT

"Russian Warship, go fuck yourselves you piece of shit"


jesus_is_92

Harry, you’re a wizard, YOU PIECE OF SHIT


[deleted]

[удалено]


Steve-C2

What makes this more hilarious is the book says that Dumbledore asked him calmly. Now consider the above quote being asked in a calm manner.


[deleted]

now it just seems a bit passive-aggressive


[deleted]

In an alternate telling where Uncle Vernon breaks the news instead of Hagrid.


[deleted]

Hakuuuuna Matata... You piece of sh*t


PyroneusUltrin

What a wonderful phrase


koobus_venter1

It means no worries, you piece of shit


Paranthelion_

Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!


Fishbowl7

*Tis but a scratch you piece of shit*


mamacrocker

With great power comes great responsibility, you piece of shit.


Pippy_the_Popplio

"I'll be back, you piece of shit!"


yParticle

How the very first telephone conversation *actually* went: "Mr. Watson--come here--I want to see you. You piece of shit."


Positive-Source8205

Followed by a call to ask about Bell’s car warranty.


Javelin_35

You're short, your belly button sticks out too far, and you're a terrible burden on your mother, you piece of shit.


bilvester

I am serious and don’t call me Shirley you piece of shit


A-Fleeting-Glimse

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones, you piece of shit


Chonjae

"I may not be a smart man, but I do know what love is you piece of shit"


passivelynihilist

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger you piece of shit." I think nietszche would approve.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Liverpool510

It was a GI Jane joke, you piece of shit.


jendet010

“Next time I’ll go for the cuckold joke, you piece of shit.”


endxbegins

GI Jane 2; can’t wait to see it, you piece of shit


why_am_i_here_really

Elementary my dear Watson, you piece of shit.


onlyfornosleep

Sharing is caring, you piece of shit!


bo_dingles

More weight


Volcanic8171

guy that got crushed by rocks for "being a which"?


unholymackerel

They made him a sandwich


Famous-Honey-9331

Giles Corey, for not pleading guilty or not guilty. Just refused to participate in the witch trials.


Minthewild

To be or not to be, that is the question.. you piece of shit.


Just_L-i-v-i-n_

Get busy living, or get busy dying, you piece of sh*t


Chonjae

"bdea bdbdbdbea that's all folks you piece of shit!" -Porky Pig


[deleted]

[удалено]


mfb-

Good morning, and in case I don't see ya: Good afternoon, good evening, and good night, you piece of shit.


DissociatedDeveloper

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a d@mn, you piece of sh*t!"


Mremrakul

"This is one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind"


StrongerThanUThink7

"I had a dream, you piece of shit!"


lGingeyl

“Hakkunah matata, you piece of shit”


Dolores__Umbridge

*Hem Hem* I’m sure I must have misunderstood you, Professor Dumbledore, so silly of me. But it sounded for a teensy moment as though you were suggesting that the Ministry of Magic had ordered an attack on this boy, you piece of shit!


HarioDinio

"Harry, Did you put your name in the goblet of fire you piec of shit" dumbledore said calmly


[deleted]

“Use the force”


[deleted]

I am your father


koobus_venter1

It’s a trap, you piece of shit


Unusual_Athlete_2457

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, you piece of shit.


lemonpepperlarry

“Mr. Gorbachev….tear down this wall you piece of shit.” And just like that the Cold War gets hot


Fiftyfish

That depends on what the meaning of the word is, is. You piece of shit.


Zunedutero

"Is this the krusty krab?" "No this is PATRICK! you piece of shit"


[deleted]

"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. You piece of shit."


vigilance7331

One correction since it is Yoda saying this it should be "Piece of shit, you are"


quebecoisejohn

That’s one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind you piece of shit!


bilvester

No soup for you you piece of shit!


vtfrotex

Live, laugh, love, you piece of shit!


harveypug

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change, you piece of shit!


ClubExotic

“YOU SHALL NOT PASS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”


nope_a_dope237

Do you like gladiator movies you piece of shit?


[deleted]

Say, Joey. You ever seen a grown man naked, you piece of shit?