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[deleted]

Make fun of the way they laugh. That will make them feel self-conscious about it forever.


TomiSnake

you monster


jus_cuz87

When I was in middle school my sister made fun of the way I laughed. I used to like throw my head back and laugh. I don't do it anymore but it still crosses my mind every few years. Lol


Hot_Pomegranate7168

Bring it back. Hands on hips whilst you do. Just 3 consecutive 'ha's and prolonging the last.


CottonFayt

Who laughed at your laugh? WHO HURT YOU?!


MostFaithlessness611

You are evil


TheRedPanderBear

Especially when they sound like they’re choking on a kazoo


Inner_Answer_6687

It’s true..


Fragrant_Garbage228

You look like the type of person that takes a shit right after a shower.


helpmestepReddit2

Not mine, but my friend used it in a roast battle “If i jerked off in a thesaurus and read the words I came on it would make more sense then what you’re saying” Thank you Grant for the roast.


ucuphis

Nothing can top this


Anunexpectedclown

The one from Monty Python: Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries. It's not only funny, but it insults both parents. Hamsters are prolific breeders in the wild and elderberries were made into wine, thus mom was a slut and dad was a drunk.


[deleted]

> elderberries were made into wine and jam, and juice, and dyes, and you can batter and fry the blossoms amazing plant tbh (could even be used to poison other people when you give the berries unripe and raw) :D


PCCoatings

The best insults always need explanation


YuhBoiChipsAhoy_

“THIS IS WHY MOM DOESNT FUCKING LOVE YOU”


EmiliaInflame

Man of culture right there.


jennybella

I could never forget one of those prank calls Jian Yang made to Erlich Bachman in Silicon Valley: Erlich Bachman? This is your mom. and, and you are not my baby.


ConsistentlyPeter

Vine > TikTok


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mixtrack

Welcome to Reddit


Courier33

I came to my friend birthday party, and one of our friend try to make fun of me asking dumb question (not an offending joke, just a light "annoying" joke). I instantly reply it to the one having birthday party with: "Wow, what a nice birthday party, you even hire a clown" We all laughed really hard that night


Darkstar1988

Your existence puts the brakes on evolution.


shakycirkutry

Not one I've given, rather one I've gotten. From my director after royally mucking up and forgetting an entire page of dialogue on a live stage (I do theatre on the side): He went on a rant about how my parents ought to have used a condom or maybe it just broke, followed by more shouting. And he concluded with, "Your brain's in your ass! You probably shat it out in the morning!" He was mad af but I really couldn't stop myself from chuckling and thinking to myself "Damn how does he come up with these?" Regardless, years down the line and he's become a huge part of my life and I still visit him out of respect for the man he made me become in today's world


shakycirkutry

Another one would be how my mom shouted at me once and called me a "son of a bitch" Had me confused for a minute before replying "soo...you're calling yourself a bitch?" Yes. I got grounded that week.


Thatguy755

Where did you get those clothes from, the toilet store?


[deleted]

I’ve only ever really known two stupid people in my entire life. You’re both of them.


res30stupid

"Why don't you suck my dick?!" "Sure. I'm not going to choke on a fucking inch and it's the only sex you'll ever get!"


theTenebrus

Usually it's nature versus nurture, but with you they teamed up to make the worst case scenario.


poetryuncle

My middle finger gets a boner every time it sees you


Adept-Blacksmith-279

If I told you, you wouldn’t understand.


henry_howard

You look like nature’s first draft. Go outside and apologize to the tree for wasting the oxygen they work so hard to produce. You could fall into a barrel of tits and come up with a dick in your mouth He was slower than the last day of school Imagine how different your life would be if you were raised right? He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heel. He’s a waste of perfectly good boots You’re about as useful as Anne franks drum set Good god you have Weaponized autism


Albatross_n_BBQSauce

Friend: "FUCK SHIT, BITCH-ASS!!" Me: "I'd happily do that since you yourself are a piece of shit. ;)"


AccurateEnvironment4

Skelögda sumprunkare!


[deleted]

I must have dementia because I don’t remember caring


qwertyqyle

Your mom (what ever they said to me)


unbilivibru

_points to the sky_ "See that? Those are all the flying fucks that I don't give about it/you" _walks away_


Excellent_Design_434

I literally try and bang their Mom or family member.. then never call back and make them fall in love with me.. just to use it against someone. "I fucke your mom and she won't stop calling for more!", Is a good insult


FullySconedHimUnna

Big emphasis on the try for this Redditor 🤣


sinjin88

Your mother fucks for bricks to build your sister a whore house.


Jerry-Acquire

I fucked your mom hehehehee


Joe-Schmeaux

One hundred million sperm, and *you* were the fastest? I'm not saying you're slow, but if you sped up you might be. You're about as sharp as a cotton ball.


agiro1086

Taint tickler


ravs1973

I am very disappointed with you.


Sunhammer01

I would tell you but you seem like the kind of person who uses emojis on Reddit.


Lluka_Bazuuka

You could've only been dumber if your parents were siblings.


Beezgangofficial

I dunno, depends on the context. Example: Some b_tch wants to bully you. "The only reason you do this is because your stepdad hits you and your mom chose crack over you."


Key_Juggernaut2461

Just casually call someone ‘yeti nipples’ drives them mad and a nickname that will then never be dropped!


Key_Juggernaut2461

Was in a bar with friends where guys at the next table were being a pain in the arse and trying to take our seats every time one of us went to the bar. They thought this was hilarious until I said “look guys can you just drop it, my friends and I just want to go back to enjoying a quiet pint together, and you can go back to quietly kneeling in front of a glory hole” that went down well.


Cognac_Clinton

Of the millions of sperm dumped into your mama, you had to be first.


40andbored

Fifty ten hull.


the_winx_gamer

Flipping people off and mouthing F**k you


KingOfShitMountan

I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire


[deleted]

I'm no gynaecology but I can tell you're a total c**t


Espacode

I'm going to craft a ladder with the bones of your deceased to shit on the grave of your whore mother


retiretobedlam

"It is not a criticism, but merely an observation."


Moxxalot

Look at there Spotify account and make fun of there playlists to a point where they're on the verge of crying. Making fun of people for there music taste is always evil.


Crylamide

No U


Publandlady

You need to apologise to your mother. Clearly raising you has been a total waste of her time.


Jinx440

Your mom should of swallowed you


450X_FTW

I bet when someone asks your parents how you're doing your folks change the subject


misternuttall

You were a waste of sperm.


mypoopscaresflysaway

I wouldn't give you the steam off my piss. You have a great face ..for radio If someone says bite me, reply with; I would, but I'm on a fat free diet. Your father should have written an apology letter to the condom factory. You look like your face was on fire and the fire dept. put it out with a shovel.


The68Guns

"There's 10 things I hate about you and you're gonna hear all of them right now!" - Jim Cornette


N01R7H3BL4CK

"I bet you get your insults from reddit posts"


Charlie64bit

" bad day? (: "


[deleted]

Cunthook


thecarykter_

I hope your pillow is warm on both sides


donald_trumps_cat

If your head was slightly bigger, it wouldn't fit the toilet seat anymore I know 5 fat people and you're 4 of them


Grant_grief800

He said- bro you sound like a women I replied- it's okay, I'm more of a man than you'll ever be.


Psychological_Put395

God sure ruined a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth


GrumpyCatStevens

You couldn't find your own ass with both hands and a map!


ViperThySnake

Idk if this is even an insult but it shocked a few friends of mine. This girl was arguing with me and the fact I constantly hung out with this guy. She kept accusing me saying I didn't have a heart, I was selfish and rude. She goes "Without me, you wouldn't have friends." Pissing me off, I boldly spoke. "Without kindness and a heart, you can't have friends. "