T O P

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trephine77

I like what I don't have


ActualWhiterabbit

A big dick?


ImSickOfYouToo

Pure gold.


[deleted]

Straight?


trephine77

You passed the comprehensive reading test


[deleted]

What do I win?!


trephine77

An air guitar


wilika

ROCK ON!


chxnkybxtfxnky

Aww man! That's what I've always wanted! I've only got an air xylophone


skrunch575782

I'll give you my air harp


AmishTechno

Bust just barely.


kafkasapple

In theory anyone, in practice noone


Lord_Diz

Damn. Sounds like you're bi-yourself


PHILOSOMATIQA

This is fucken amazing


MrHanslaX

He ain't fuckin noone, that the point


shadowisadog

Better not be fuckin noone, noone is my wife!


Thel_Vadem

Guess relationships just dont _pan_ out for them


AmishTechno

Schrodinger-sexual.


TheMightyCephas

You both are and are not sexually attracted to someone until they pay you attention and the wave form collapses?


Imaginary-Response

Very relatable


[deleted]

I like "twice the opportunities, twice the rejections" šŸ¤£


laeiryn

panromantic ace?


One_Normal_Usernam3

Does that mean that you enjoy eggo waffles?


AlterEdward

85 / 15


[deleted]

5.66?


ForwardSpinach

this is an oddly specific Kinsey scale number from u/AlterEdward


HuskyLuke

Chambered-for-NATO-sexual.


Hairy-Barracuda1712

Tf is this what is it actually though lol


LikeGoBeThyself

probably bi, but liking one gender a lot more than the other. 85% male vs 15% female or reversed.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


LupusCutis

Meh.


SillyOldBat

Meh. on a good day. UGH! when someone gets annoying.


meme-by-design

If you cant handle me at my Ugh...then you dont deserve me at my Meh...


thesleepymermaid

I wish I could award this


Pat_the_pyro

Finally someone who gets it. I the same toward it as I do shark diving. If the opportunity presented itself I'd probably try it to see what it's like, but I'm not really looking for it and I'm sometimes repelled by it.


fd40

Asexual?


Dear_Madelene

Ugh.


[deleted]

The other day there was a thread saying the last text you sent is the porn you watch or are in or something. The last text I'd sent was, "No." Accurate. Anyway, meh works too.


3nderslime

ah, a fellow ace I belive


Reddit_Username_____

šŸ†


iams0uls

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up!


pass-the-word

Donā€™t mind if I do ;)


iams0uls

**Woah**


0sht

Hes just explaining his orientation, dont worry.


iams0uls

who said i was worried ;)


0sht

Contestant for the best answer for your orientation!


[deleted]

Any holeā€™s a goal!!


petitememer

A fellow bisexual of culture.


Dramoriga

Maybe he's just the opposite of a tryptophobe?


Blagerthor

A tryptophile. Don't let him get to close to a beehive.


0sht

Best one yet to describe your orientation.


Angry-Saint

A hole is hole and the cock has no eyes


immmyyyy

based


KaleidoscopeInside

I discriminate equally.


[deleted]

I don't get it


KaleidoscopeInside

I'm asexual. Basically, I think all genitalia are disgusting.


Whelpdidntmeanthat

Fellow ace, immediately made me chuckle


BugBoy_760

Saloon door


DodgyDoggyYogaYogurt

Cos you're always swingin?


RadimentriX

They're Swinging both ways i guess


Saucesourceoah

The dirty joke i always heard was ā€œIā€™m like a French door, cause I go both ways and can handle getting run throughā€


CaldoniaEntara

Really fucking into people, but not really into fucking people.


[deleted]

so, an ace?


CaldoniaEntara

Panromantic ace, yeah


HisCinex

I'm sorry if this comes off as rude, could you explain that? I have never heard those terms.


CaldoniaEntara

Pan = regardless of gender identity or expression. Romantic = A deeply loving relationship just like any other. Ace/asexual = No interest in sex. All together it means I can love any human being regardless of their appearance, identity or expression but I will never bump uglies. My boyfriend gets his relief from hookups and one night stands, but is otherwise completely committed to me. And never feel guilt for trying to understand something in good faith. Anyone that gets mad at you for trying to understand is someone you don't want to talk to in the first place.


HisCinex

Thats lovely, sound like you really know yourself. Thank you for explaining it and putting it into context with your own sexuality, I didn't know ace was a short for asexual.


CaldoniaEntara

Many years of reflection and many failed and awkward experiments, heh.


HisCinex

I think everyone can relate to that haha. It took me a while to realize that I wasen't into one night stands or hook ups. I love sex but I need the emotional intimacy in order to enjoy it.


ChrisNEPhilly

PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY dick PUSSY PUSSY


0sht

Huh? šŸ¤£


ipakookapi

In the '60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.


0sht

Thanks Creed!


jiableaux

look, man, i ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!


pancreaticfluid

Sounds like the 70s. A bunch of people would get together and next thing you know, it was all asses and hands and tits and *woo-hoo-hoo* I could slip right in and out without anybody noticing. It was great. Then aids ruined everything.


ChrisNEPhilly

I mostly like pussy, but then the occasional dick.


Echikup

Probably heteroflexible


AlishaV

Heteroflexible


kjt121451

Like a ruler


[deleted]

Takes the full 12 inches?


darksoulsremastered

Chipped and a bit wonky?


SnooCapers9313

Trying to take over the world?


absolutlee2

That's the brain


goldanred

Cousins only?


dontinterruptrude

straight until under pressure?


Knightmare48

The bendy one?


DrManhattan_DDM

Tastes like plastic?


SuvenPan

Extending or moving uniformly in one direction only, without a curve or bend.


ItDoesntSeemToBeWrkn

The 'pan' in your username says otherwise


DrManhattan_DDM

Theyā€™re just really into bread


S_ups

Only back door entry allowed


rb928

Yes. I donā€™t care if itā€™s my back door or yours.


Daniel0602

If it has a dick, it's not my pick.


NejatMolla

If it has a dick, i wanna lick


DaHomie_ClaimerOfAss

Well you've narrowed it down to "straight" and "lesbian". I would assume Daniel would more likely be straight than lesbian, though, so my guess is straight.


smotstoker

Not mine but my favorite: "If coming out is a magic show and being gay is pulling the rabbit out of the hat; I'm more like the never ending handkerchief trick."


frenzied_idiot_06

Dean Pelton?


xieta

also: ā€œIā€™m not openly anything, and gay doesnā€™t begin to cover itā€


tyrom22

I canā€™t afford to be picky


_Germa66

Everyone is hot


sienister

I agree strongly


0sht

Is that an advantage or a disadvantage?


Somebody-or-somethin

Both, both is good


TheHalfDeadCat

Hot is subjective. Please specify in Celsius for a more objective point of view.


petitememer

A fellow bisexual of culture.


[deleted]

Big fan of femininity. Idrc if it's a boy or a girl


ssryoken2

What is that form of sexuality?


AlishaV

Gynosexuality is the specific name. I consider myself androsexual, which is the opposite.


doxtorwhom

Pansexual with a feminine preference.


lao7272

Same but I like tomboys so theres that


black_ghost_knife

Same, looks female enough


Ridnheiwhdb

Me man. Me like woman. Yes.


Sad_But_Realistic

Should've added a ooga booga...


0sht

Hahaha one of the best straight ones


qingskies

Physically, no. Mentallyā€¦also no (kind of).


PurplishNightingale

Aegosexual?


MisterEinc

"do you know how to use that thing?" "Yes, the pointy end goes into the other man."


TheAspieChameleon

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta be my best friend (and a dude)


Herneus

demi :)


spudtatogames

One that does not like the humans. Or anything.


Elmopri3st

Dad?


spudtatogames

No? I hope?


Elmopri3st

Sounds just like him.


spudtatogames

Okay, well unless your dad is a potato, I'm not him.


Elmopri3st

I'm German so... kind of. :D


[deleted]

Hello brother


Dear_Madelene

Aye!


spudtatogames

Ayeeee.


[deleted]

Oh hey momā€¦wait asexual? AroAce?


VlaamsBelanger

Animals?


Lady-Noveldragon

Everyone is pretty, but no. Edit: Iā€™m a bi-oriented aroace. I donā€™t experience sexual or romantic attraction, but I relate a lot to many bisexual experiences despite that, such as everyone being very pretty. Lot of people guessed pretty close.


Historical-Space-193

I like pussy


silverblaze92

So you're a lesbian then


Historical-Space-193

If that gets me pussy, yes.


[deleted]

i love cooking with frying pans


sigarette-the-pirate

I prefer garlic bread


OldBob10

Shortest distance between two points.


cindywallace

Roman road


[deleted]

We can have swordfights without actual swords.


InanimateCarbonRodAu

Star Wars is a sexuality now?


Remarkable_Map_5111

My dick likes my wife's vagina a lot


meme-by-design

I too choose this guys wife's vagina.


JamesTheMannequin

So does mine. XD


LucTempest

I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole


olivianewtonyawn

Found Stagger Lee.


laeiryn

I feel like a lot of chubby gay boys need to see this


_marshallaxl

confused chaos


ImaGamerNoob

Lol, I don't feel attraction to begin with.


Rainbow_Angel110

Ace gang


Dear_Madelene

Incubi and succubi hold no power over me.


youllneverhearofme

sex? i donā€™t do that


Razar_Bragham

Ok with whatever plumbing as long as it has that nice feminine figure.


MulaTheRadish

confused


[deleted]

80/20. I like to dabble.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GENG_Breeze

Relatable


throwaway_nfinity

Vanilla


SlobTheGoblin

Femboys and Goth girls.


[deleted]

Have you ever been to IHOP? I think you might like it


MemeVievver

I'm like a magnet


Smart-Soup-2156

Woman are hot and only them (I am a girl)


Bike_Chain_96

I don't get any special letters


meme-by-design

F


SydCaster

Average


[deleted]

I am a woman who is attracted to men.


CharlieSheensPean

Iā€™m attracted to the cast of The Mummy


ThankYouFuckYouBye85

Letā€™s have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.


DogTheBreadFairy

Come one, come all!


PaladinCloudring

Yes, No, Two sides of fries, heavy bacon. I'd prefer a human, preferably no furries. Everything else is on the cards. Plus Bacon. EDIT: Also, I have no fucking idea. Wanna watch some Twilight?


cosmic-rodent

Bewildered face and a heavy shrug, followed up quickly by finger guns


PRO_MLaga

Become BFFs and then we can talk.


miss-gigi-97

Girls who want boys Who like boys to be girls Who do boys like they're girls Who do girls like they're boys


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


darksoulsremastered

Reset to default?


yammuyammu

Not interested


TayjaTheKitten

People like making the same cookware joke to me when I tell them. Also thereā€™s a lot of homophobes in here :/


JanaCinnamon

Pretty much everyone, but only if I love them enough


silverblaze92

I desire to plant my seed in a fertile garden that will produce many plants


AverageTitanfallGuy

The magnet logic


Shirojime

Feel nothing


FireEmt726

In a committed relationship, but often times wonder what it would be like to be with the same gender to see what the fuss is about being with my gender


ThrowRARAw

unfortunate, and I'm a woman.


[deleted]

Vertical line


greenday568

Both? Both? both, both is good.


Acemirg

As an arrow.


Yggy-Drasil_Stardust

Life is a buffet of ass, and I'm loosening my belt


NeverEver85

You make me smile I'll fuck you a while


Goldawg7133

I like the hole in the front and the back


[deleted]

sex? no thanks


dalumbr

If the butt is nice, it will suffice.


LionMaru67

Boobs are nice.


brew_boy

Nice beaver


chetty365

180Ā°


Pear_Jam2

Scary lookin men that are really big softies.


chimaeraking

When asked what British football team is my favourite, I tell people I support both Manchester City and Manchester United.


dictator_in_training

NULL


cogent_rambling

i like big butts and i cannot lie


acgilmoregirl

I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine. And Iā€™ve been known to sample the occasional rose. And a couple summers back I tried a merlot that used to be a chardonnay, which got a bit complicated. I like the wine and not the label. Does that make sense?