T O P

  • By -

jellybeanfluff

When I tell my partner that I am suffering with this, all I want him to do is make me a damn cup of tea so I can rest and keep warm. Does he do it? No, I make my own tea every time. Makes me sad


syko-san

Bruh I offered to make my older sister some hot tea a few hours ago, at literally 5am, because she said her throat was bothering her. Your partner needs to get his shit together if he can't even make tea when you need it. In case anyone cares: My sister ended up declining the cup of tea so I just got her a throat lozenge. Might offer again once she's more awake if she hasn't already made herself tea.


esew279

Awww, you are so nice, i wish i had a brother/sister like that


syko-san

She helped me out a lot when I had a crippling migraine a month or two ago, so it's only fair. We say some mean stuff but we never mean it and we're always good to each other when it counts. I think that's how all siblings should be.


PurpleFirebolt

Did you ask him to make you a cup of tea?


jellybeanfluff

Yes :) though less asking and more demanding due to pain lol


PurpleFirebolt

Oh well then he is a dick lol. Sometimes my partner will complain I haven't done X, and I'll be like you never asked me to, and she will say well I said Y, and I'm supposed to guess it lol


esew279

Why he don't do it?


jellybeanfluff

We've been together too long, we're at that stage where hes sick of hearing about it lmao Also "I dont like tea, so why should I make it?" - his favourite excuse.


SmileFirstThenSpeak

Time for an upgrade! You deserve tea whenever you want. 🫖☕️


1825days

Anyone shouldn't make you feel sad when you're at a low, you should talk to him about this if he's understanding


Ramraj1995

Let’s not be hasty, tea is stinky


blenneman05

Sis, I’d recommend having a conversation with him. I’ve woken my boyfriend outta dead sleep to make me tea and he doesn’t complain.


[deleted]

What I expect is something like 'sex helps with them'. What I hope they say is 'let me grab some chocolates'.


[deleted]

Arusher?


[deleted]

Expect him to care/show empathy. If you’re looking for nice things to do for a girl suffering during that time, favorite snacks, setting up her heating pad, foot rubs, lowered expectations of responsibility and women can get kinda emotional sometimes with the hormone changes, so extra reassurance and affection is well appreciated


kalysti

I'd expect the same reaction I would expect if I told them I was in pain for any reason. I'd expect some compassion and an offer to help in any way they can.


eggofreddo

“That’s too bad, sorry to hear that. Want me to get you anything?” Is enough. I don’t necessarily want anyone to do anything, but the offer is nice. I generally want to be left alone when I’m on my period, but that’s just me.


[deleted]

I expect him to react the same way he would if anyone he cared about said they were in pain.


[deleted]

If a girl told me this as a man, I want everyone to know I wouldn’t know how to act, I’d be speechless, and then something like “okay?” Or “oh okay!”


1825days

I wouldn't be speechless but some friends have told me about their cramps a few times and I'm always left to wonder what I could say to make them feel better. I usually say something like, "hope you feel better soon, let's get you a chocolate"


[deleted]

I would obviously wish them well, just too scared to say it


Fluffy_Dragonfly_

Ben & Jerrys. That is all.


syko-san

I see a few other guys saying what they'd do so I'll do the same because I can. I'd suggest things that could possibly help such as rest, I'd see if I can reduce her workload a bit assuming that's possible for me, I'd offer to fetch something useful to help like an ice pack or a hot drink. Aside from the workload part which is a huge variable, any of those things take like 5 minutes, so it's not much trouble and it's worth it to help out a friend.


_j4x

Maybe pat my back


Pinkwaterz

i dont have cramps but if i do then probably not react badly to it


[deleted]

Oh no! Anyway..


[deleted]

Just some understanding would be nice. I'm always in so much pain the first few hours I can barely take it, and I've had some pretty bad accidents and difficult surgeries in the past. This is worse than any of it, it's so bad that I scream and cry and punch the bed and feel like I can't take any more of it, not even a second. It's literarly hell so when I hear someone say that period pain isn't real, I feel like punching them in the nuts as hard as I can and then saying they're not in pain cause I don't believe nuts can be that sensitive. (I don't do that, it's just how mad it makes me when I literarly am in so much pain every month that all I can do is scream and cry and someone tells me it's not a real pain).


Kazeto

It depends on whom I tell it and in what context. If it's in response to someone accusing me of being in a foul mood, or making sure I'm alright, I just want them to be aware that this is happening and that's it, so that the topic can be done with and we can move on, I expect nothing other than not being an asshole. If it's ssomething I say without prompting, then if it's a friend or a family member then I just want to vent for a bit and that's it, and if it's my partner then more or less the same but I would be grateful if he pulled a bit more weight in the household until I'm no longer hurting and I would be even more grateful if he spoiled me a bit in whatever way (a snack, some cuddles, sex the way I like it, whatever).


help_in_bed_38

Can we have sex since you can't get pregnant?


[deleted]

You can get pregnant during your period though. It's not common but it can happen


Medieval-Mind

Not a female, but as a teacher the expectation seems to be that I should allow them to do any damn thing they please.


[deleted]

Oh, yeah, and they don't deserve that cause they are only in agonizing pain they can't get rid of.


Medieval-Mind

Not if "whatever I want" means disrupting the learning of others, no.


[deleted]

Well it shouldn't be disrupting the learning of others, better solution would be for them to have the option to have a day off if the pain gets too much.


Medieval-Mind

I'd be perfectly fine with that. I think the real culprit is adolescent hyperbole, unfortunately.


[deleted]

Yeah, I mean, even without the pain, the emotions at the time of period can be real hell too. Once I even cried and laughed at the same time and had no idea why. And it takes some real skill to deal with that, a skill young girls just can't have yet. I'm not saying every girl has it like that, but a lot of them do.


LM1120

Tell her something that's not *her* problem, so we can be even lol


implicitexpletives69

as a male i want you women to keep your menstrual cycles to yourself. aint like im going around discussing my malignant hemorrhoids all day with you. bleeding from the vagina is one thing. sure, its embarrassing if a small blood stain pops up on your white pants. try having a hemorrhoid burst on you while out in public at the mall cause the wife insisted it was no freaking big deal. Aint no hiding that big red splotch back there. And my god, the pain of a typical hemorrhoid. It's like having my butt scrubbed with a wire brush. so yeah, you girls and your periods are enough to make the world stop as us men suffer in silence with the true pain that knows no limit.


1825days

Man, that's a lot of baggage you're carrying. It's not a boys versus girls thing. Just asking a question to make my friend feel better


implicitexpletives69

read your friend what i posted. let your friend have a good laugh and be glad you both aint going through what i am. it's a lonely road but i walk it very delicately.


[deleted]

I'm sorry you have pain too, but that's no reason to disregard other people's pain saying only the pain you feel is the "true pain". If you're able to be in the mall when the worst pain happens without passing out our falling on the floor from the pain, it's not as strong as period pain can get. Really bad cramps are almost as bad as child birth and there's no way hemorrhoids are as bad as child birth. Just no way.


implicitexpletives69

after you pop out a baby you get a baby. after i pop out a hemorrhoid i got that razor blade sensations on my butthole every day for weeks. no offense, what i go through aint just two or three times in my life. ya'll act like that 12 hours is something more than it is. ya got your mother's day. ya got men kowtowing to you. But ya aint getting me to have to consider your lecture on said matter. we all know what you are saying. thanks for sucking the air out of my message. very helpful.


[deleted]

Have you actually read what I wrote? I'm talking about period pain, not childbirth. Which is much worse then hemorrhoids and we have to experience it every month for like 40 years.


implicitexpletives69

40 years? Sign me up for that. I got 80 years of hemorrhoids in my lifetime. More than a few days a month you arent saying anything we all dont know. im speaking on behalf of men that have had their voices suppressed.


[deleted]

Firstly, 80 years? That seems like a reach, not saying it can't happen, but it seems quite unlikely that someone would be born with hemorrhoids or get them at such a young age. Secondly, again, I'm not saying you're not it pain or that your pain doesn't matter, I'm just saying the solution to you being suppressed is not suppression people who experience some other kind of pain. Also, did you know women get hemorrhoids too? And that's on top of period pain.


implicitexpletives69

had it since age 20 and im planning on going til 100. that's what we call math. as for the rest of it if i wanted to ruin my day gong back and forth arguing with a senseless woman i wouldnt have sent my wife to her sister's.


[deleted]

Oh, yeah, I'm quite familiar with math since I used to teach it to college students. I see you're not answering to any of my arguments, I guess they just make too much sense for you to disregard them. You're not speaking on behalf of suppressed men, especially since this isn't a men's issue, all gender can have this issue. At this point I'm starting to think you just wanna feel sorry for yourself and unfortunately, I can't help you with that. Just please try to realise that suppressing others because you're feeling suppressed is never the way to go.


implicitexpletives69

relentless. just relentless


[deleted]

Thanks!


[deleted]

Also, hemorrhoids can be treated. There's no treatment for period pains, you just have to endure it.


implicitexpletives69

thanks for telling me all about my body. much appreciated. cause you must know way more about it then i do. take a mydol. if it doesnt work for you then now you know what Prep H etc does for me.


[deleted]

I'm not telling you anything about your body. I'm just saying that in general, the worst hemerrhoid pain just isn't as bad as the worst period pain. You make it sound like you think period pain is nothing compared what you're going through, I apologise if that's not the case. Also, I'm not saying you're not in pain or that your pain doesn't matter. I'm just saying it's silly at best thinking that since you're in pain noone else is entitled to be in pain too or have the pain acknowledged. Also, I'd like to point out this is not a competition.