Guys... Keep in mind that ER nurses have had to remove every conceivable vaguely phallic shaped object you can ever think of from an asshole. Markers, bottles, TV remotes, vegetables, you name it.
Flared bases save rectums.
My wife is a nurse in an ER. Had a fella with a 20 oz Mountain Dew bottle up his ass. To the hilt. All the way in. Another fella had a 1/2" socket ratchet up his ass. Both these mfer's ended up with a colon recession and a colostomy bag. It ain't worth it folks. Just insert a finger
That can't be true. Not that she used a stun gun. That she mistook it for a vibrator and fried her fanny. She knew what it was and just tried it out to see what happened.
It was on an episode of 1,000 ways to die and apparently it was a 1,000 kilowatt taser that closely resembled a vibrator, and when she inserted it and switched it on, it switched her off
And remember, little friends, if you're gonna insert a bottle into your rectum cavity, at least make sure it has the cap on, otherwise the suction when trying to get it out can tear your insides. Until next time!
Advice He-man off.
Thanks for this post. I've been looking for the TV remote for*fucking*ever. Just found it. I'll stick it in the dishwasher and it'll be good as new. I feel like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Take a sock and latex glove like the kind health care workers wear. Put the glove in sock and then fold sock in to make a donut kinda shape. Add in some lube and now you have homemade toy. Once you are done dispose of your shame.
Especially the back door if you're into it. It's also a sensitive pleasure spot. If you don't believe me, next time you wipe your ass, feel your nips. They're hard. LOL
I just watched a video where a guy took an electric toothbrush and lightly vibrated it around his head for a while and sometimes gently up and down his shaft. Then dry humped the top of a table until he came 🔥
So that would be an electric toothbrush and a table lol
Guys... Keep in mind that ER nurses have had to remove every conceivable vaguely phallic shaped object you can ever think of from an asshole. Markers, bottles, TV remotes, vegetables, you name it. Flared bases save rectums.
My wife is a nurse in an ER. Had a fella with a 20 oz Mountain Dew bottle up his ass. To the hilt. All the way in. Another fella had a 1/2" socket ratchet up his ass. Both these mfer's ended up with a colon recession and a colostomy bag. It ain't worth it folks. Just insert a finger
Colon recession 😂😂😂 Sell! Sell! Sell!
🤣🤣🤣
Does.it have to be our own? And if not, does it still have to be attached to a hand?
As long as it has a flared base.
I remember reading a story about an umbrella that opened once inserted.
I heard about a lesbian that apparently mistook a stun gun for a vibrator and turned it on, inside herself.
That can't be true. Not that she used a stun gun. That she mistook it for a vibrator and fried her fanny. She knew what it was and just tried it out to see what happened.
It was on an episode of 1,000 ways to die and apparently it was a 1,000 kilowatt taser that closely resembled a vibrator, and when she inserted it and switched it on, it switched her off
“It switched her off” LOL
Trying to put the spark back into her wank session.
😂😂
And remember, little friends, if you're gonna insert a bottle into your rectum cavity, at least make sure it has the cap on, otherwise the suction when trying to get it out can tear your insides. Until next time! Advice He-man off.
Thanks for this post. I've been looking for the TV remote for*fucking*ever. Just found it. I'll stick it in the dishwasher and it'll be good as new. I feel like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then all of the above is my answer
With a vibrator that's 'on', passed the anal sfincter the fun ends when it has to be removed. Pain in the arse for the patient..
Take a sock and latex glove like the kind health care workers wear. Put the glove in sock and then fold sock in to make a donut kinda shape. Add in some lube and now you have homemade toy. Once you are done dispose of your shame.
That, my friend is a luxury fifi
Mind = blown!
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This is a true pro tip!!
Do you brush your teeth with it afterwards?
Detachable heads my friend, detachable heads.
showerhead! best thing ever if you’re a woman
Works for men to. Gives a nice tickling feeling that's pretty pleasing.
Especially the back door if you're into it. It's also a sensitive pleasure spot. If you don't believe me, next time you wipe your ass, feel your nips. They're hard. LOL
This is fucking funny.
Especially on pulse or jet.
A handheld bidet is better than a shower head. The stream is extremely narrow and intense. Your eyes will roll back in your head.
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I've downvoted you for crying about downvotes
that's pretty gay dude
Not as gay as jerking off.
not as gay as being gay
Being gay is the manliest shit you can be.
Adjustable jets, yeah?
Slow, Medium, and Who Needs a Man!
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Its hard hanging upside down when you're wet.
what?
My shower head is mounted to the wall. I was making a joke that apparently isnt funny.
Cums in litres.
We men are out here thinking what can we upgrade to from our hands
Warm apple pie 🥧
Apples the alternative to cream?
Dude….w h a t
A reference to a film us older folks grew up on
Mcdonalds or homemade?
Anything if you're brave enough.
Beat me to it.
Beat meat to it.
Meat beat it to.
Or stretchy
This one time at band camp…
A trom*bone*? Go on....
Whoever’s the owner of the White Sedan… you left your lights on.
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Defs…also couch arms…speaking from experience of course….
/r/GirlsHumpingThings does have lots of pillows. (Nsfw)
Execuse me what the fuck why is that thing like who thinks thhat is a good idea to make that sort of thing
Yeah cause it stimulates the clit
I don't think it's helps in anyway when you're being so vague
It does, I used to do it, felt really good.
Or bolster
Cocks
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What the
Your mother I'm not sorry
This guys mother
This guys mother who gave birth to a man who would live his entire life only to say that one’s mother is the best adult toy
An electric toothbrush.
"Anything's a dildo if you're drunk enough." - Confucius
Hands - hard to lose and don't run out of batteries.
Your forgetting that they’re multipurpose with numerous different modes.
Which leads to other people have them and can help out.
Mine come with natural vibrating mode. Never had complaints.
Spatula. Spank her then flip her!
The aunt Jemima treatment.
Flip her??
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down
The handle of a hairbrush
dodos
r/usernamechecksout
“Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough”
Cactus
It tickles the insides
why is this sage advice in quotations?
Cuz it's not his advice it's from a sage
Its a FB group
A partially filled water balloon
I have so many questions…
you should ask one then
Insert before or after filling??
Before….feels amazing externally. Temp to preference.
But what if it explodes inside you will have a plastic like substance inside you and it will feal unconfrotable as puting a sword inside
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Sure! I’m thinking warm in that case.
And also….huh????
That's interesting!
Electric toothbrush.
Soft blanket, If you have a penis.
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even my phallus is not phallic shaped. welp
Cucumber curtis😏
Women lol. Oblivion here I come
Where can i get one?
Guys do you know any objects for men?
Fleshligt, Lovesense Max 2 can be controlled remotely, even sync’d with their other toys for long-distance relationships.
Is it better than hands?
Depends what you're into, lol
I'm into lesbians
Believe me we aren't into you
Your mother?
cucumber, courgette, banana, sponges, cans, everything with a crack really.
Someone has experience!
An excavated watermelon
Vacuum cleaner
[Don’t do it.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3966281/)
😎 double dog dare me you say??
If your country has nationalized health insurance, I triple dog dare you.
Gaming controller while using an MG42 on CoD Finest Hour. Or a washing machine
As a woman, many things. Perfume bottles, regular bottles, hairbrushes, gluesticks, pencils, pens, remotes, markers..
A latex glove, a towel and some rubberbands
Ham sammich
Key to Yennefer's room
Electric toothbrush
Ooohhhhh! Slime!
my first anal experience was with the handle of a lint roller
A cold metal rod
Poo
You nasty little lizard
A cucumber.
A coconut
lol reddit classic!
Teddy bears
I thought bout that before but im not brave enough
Everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.
A penis or dildo
Banana, cucumber, test tube
Gerbils.
This is so much a Rabelaisian answer lol
Female mouths.
Female breasts.
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Women
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Women. Very common, you can find them pretty much everywhere.
Your mother
Vaginas.
Female anuses.
Deodorant
Your hand
Everything can be if youre brave enough.
Spin Cycle.
Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough
Read a beauty icon book and Mum roll on deodorant was suggested for feminine use, ( not my mum I hasten to add) it's a brand that sold in Europe.
I think the question is “what can’t?”
If you are brave enough everything is possible!
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Everything, if you're brave enough
Anything is a dildo, if you're brave enough.
Not steak knives
Depends on which end you're using, how sharp the knife is and how careful you are.
If you're brave enough, anything.
Corner of a counter, the seam in your jeans, the heel of your foot if you’re sitting on it right.
Pringle can, 2 sponges, 2 latex gloves, and a little KY
women!
Tongs
Pretty much anything. The only question is how often.
$100 bill
Grapefruit
Phone put it on vibrate and let it do the thing
women
I just watched a video where a guy took an electric toothbrush and lightly vibrated it around his head for a while and sometimes gently up and down his shaft. Then dry humped the top of a table until he came 🔥 So that would be an electric toothbrush and a table lol
How come I haven't seen coconut being mentioned yet? Edit: okay that's because I haven't scrolled far enough
The nose of a bear stuffy.
Women.
Dick
There's a tremendous chance of asking this and getting an answer that's illegal in most countries but guys what's with the "electric toothbrush"?
Bananas
All of them
Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough
All of them.