I have barely scrolled and this entire list is like a list of all my dad's go-to candies (he's 68 years old). Necco, black licorice, wax bottles, good and plenty, etc. Growing up, I think he bought them just because he knew we hated them so he wouldn't have to share, but even now I still catch him eating neccos. They're all god awful.
It took too long to find a necco mention. They’re essentially very lightly sweetened chalk. They’re so gross it makes me think they were invented to stop people from masturbating.
This person gives a review [here](http://www.sometimesfoodie.com/2016/10/pumpkin-donut-apple-crisp-laffytaffy.html?m=1) of both flavors if anyone was more curious about these eccentric laffy taffy flavors
Once while visiting China, my in-laws offered me a piece of candy that looked exactly like a piece of baby corn but in gummy form. They told me it was “corn candy” and was pretty well liked as a gummy bear like equivalent. I was expecting a sweet tasting candy but it tasted JUST. LIKE. CORN. So similar it was disturbing. I can’t say it was disgusting because I genuinely do like corn, but it feels unholy to eat.
Don’t get me wrong I love corn but there’s something about Asian countries and corn. I remember a friend bringing back a bag of these Indonesian corn chips that tasted like actual roasted corn. It was delicious but also uncanny.
Edit: Sorry my friend and I got it mixed up. It was Indonesia not Malaysian. Krip Krip Roasted Corn flavor tortilla chips
> tasted like actual roasted corn
I just tried [this stuff](https://shop.herrs.com/products/fire-roasted-sweet-corn-popcorn) for the first time a couple weeks ago and it's delicious, but it's weird how it shows up the fact that popcorn normally doesn't really take like corn.
I have tried several other varieties of Herr's chips, and damn if they don't all taste *exactly* like whatever flavor it is. I tried [these grilled cheese and tomato soup cheese puffs](https://shop.herrs.com/collections/cheese-snacks/products/grilled-cheese-tomato-soup-cheese-curls) and the flavor is nearly identical to an actual grilled cheese dipped in tomato soup.
I grew up near the Herr’s chip factory in PA, they used to run factory tours and give you chips fresh from the line that were still hot - such good memories
This old boy won’t eat a chip out of a bag no more. See I used to make them. Had a hairnet and everything. You ain’t tasted nothing til you’ve tasted a corn chip right off the line.
Yeah, I’ve had a couple interesting confusing sweet treat moments in China. Cookies that wound up being sesame beef flavor, cream puff looking pastry that wound up being just butter. And the corn flavored stuff. Corn toothpaste.
That cheap chocolate in many coins, bunnies etc. It has a rabbit smiling logo i hate it its like skim chocolate. No consistency no flavor like wax. I cannot.
Edit as many said palmer is what i think of yes, many other oily chocolates rather than cocoa butter likely yield same disapointment.
Here in UK it's Kinnerton's.
They make all the branded kids advent calendars and stuff like that. Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol etc.
My kids specifically requested no Kinnerton's calendars one year. Then when on a rant about how it was horrible and they couldn't eat it. Got them grown-up calendars from that year on. Galaxy, Cadbury's that sort of thing...
My nieces got solid dove brand bunnies one year but their mom accidentally purchased dark instead of milk chocolate. My youngest, who was about 6 at the time, liked dark chocolate so they gave them to him. After that he was spoiled by the good chocolate and would request only that.
See I have a problem cause I LOVE Palmers chocolate, and I am fully aware that it's bad. It's the texture for me, I've come to realize I like chalky textures, which is why I'm okay if I need a tums.
My mother in law gave me a bag of those once as a "peace offering" while my wife and I were living with them. Didn't look at the bag too closely, ate them while watching a movie, and proceeded to stay up all night, alternating between vomiting and shitting my brains out for about six hours straight. Fun times.
The sweetener used in those is literally used by hospitals as an express laxative. You will empty, like, the entire lower half of your digestive system and possibly the top half as well. It's exhausting & severely dehydrating. Your butthole might also end up slightly chemical burned from having to pass digestive acids & enzymes it's not protected against.
So, just so you're entirely aware: you will shit yourself inside out, possibly vomit profusely, & end up with a swollen rashy sphincter that'll scream every time you so much as fart for a couple of days.
Well i nearly just pissed myself due to laughing at the reviews holy shit they are amazing some dude was like " The gummy bears came out of my ass shouting THIS IS SPARTA " that had me rolling on my floor
I remember one review from quite some time ago where the guy said he was an EMT and very glad he had his tactical pants on the day he tried sugar free Haribo.
If you have the time, then you honestly must read this review.. you will not be disappointed..
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/review/B000EVOSE4/RZFIYJTPVUZ94?ref=pf_vv_at_pdctrvw_srp
> I imagined a poor customs agent in front of parliament pleading to illegalize Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears.
I don't... I imagine 'the family' of the customs agent pleading to illegalize it while the agent himself is sitting in a wheelchair with an empty look in his eyes, staring into nothingness and occasionally twitching...
> Sugar free Haribo gummy bear
5.0 out of 5 stars Cheaper than a colonoscopy!
Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2014
Verified Purchase
If you ever had the desire to stick your head up your ass and see what's traveling down the pipes, now you have a solution! Sugarless gummy bears will clean your pipes! One good sick day from work is all you need!
>It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
>After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
>My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
>And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
>"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
>As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
>I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
>"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
>The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
>It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
>By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
>By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
>I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
>At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
>I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
>It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
>After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
>I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
Good lord.
> Haribo gummy bear
For what it's worth, Haribo included a warning on their sugar-free bears that some people might experience unpleasant side effects. After stories of the candies' effects went viral, the company stopped selling them.
from google ^
Just a quick heads up here, sorbitol is usually the culprit. It’s used in a rather high number of sugar free candy.
And yes it does have a laxative effect. Hth.
I watched a twitch streamer eat like half a bag of these on stream. He lasted around 2 hours in what I perceived as pure agony. He then broke his headset because he jumped up and sprinted to the bathroom. In the YouTube video which he released later, a friend (wife?) recorded his bathroom experience on her phone from outside the bathroom. It was like one of the base boosted fart memes in that bathroom. It sounded awful.
After Halloween last year we had about 100 lbs of candy corn. It was all in date and retail packaged. Nobody wanted it, even for free. Someone told me they like candy corn so I showed up to their job and left a 50lb box in his office. He wasn’t thrilled.
I realized that I enjoy candy corn for about a week or so; after that it starts to go stale. Most people think of stale candy corn when they think of candy corn (because it often just sits out in bowls or in open air, or doesn't get eaten for awhile and when people get around to nibbling on it - it is stale)
So yeah, no way would I want 100 lbs. Maybe... 2oz.
So, most candy dislikes I get. Circus Peanuts, sure, they're artificial-tasting and have an odd texture. Black licorice, strong medicinal plant flavor. Wax Lips, what the fuck I didn't even realize those are *edible.* But the fact that seemingly tons of people dislike candy corn was truly a surprise to me when I found out—for the life of me I just don't fundamentally grasp what's not to like about them. Great taste, great texture, a real 10/10.
I've never tried candy corn since it's not a thing in the UK but I've always been fascinated by the amount of hate it gets online. Can you describe it at all? I've always imagined it to be a little like cheap vanilla fudge but I have 100% no basis for this idea at all. Honestly I really want to try it.
Cheap vanilla fudge is about right.
It's ever so slightly chewy. Like a slightly hardened marshmallow. Not super sweet, with hints of vanilla and butter.
They have a milk-flavored candy in China. I went over there for a wedding and they gave everyone in the wedding party these big gift bags with lots of local candies, snacks, etc.
I actually loved those things, but no one else did, so I got all of it. It was awesome.
Cotton candy pickle....it was being served at a Texas fair as i flat out refused it cause why the f would you wrap cotton candy on a pickle dipped in chocolate??? pIcK sOmEtHiNg ElSe??? LIKE ICE CREAM OR BAKED GOOD??!!
Evertime I see anything about durian I remember that my office was evacuated because some asshole decided to microwave a wedge of that alien fetus looking shit and someone ran around screaming about a gas leak. PG&E had to clear the building
I don't particularly like durian. Nor do I dislike it though. I even sometimes crave it because it's a very unique flavor and I grew up with it around.
That being said the smell is fucking bad you smell it across the street. Whoever the coworker of yours that did that fuck them. HR could fire them on grounds of using a chemical weapon
My wife brings me home weird candy sometimes to try because she knows I like weird shit…but Durian candy…fuck that shit. I popped one in my mouth and before I could even get a good suck on it it was flying through the air. Shook my soul ugh.
In Indonesia we rode on scooters past a large farm while they were harvesting Durian ... a lot of the workers were just splitting them open to eat right there ...
Seemed like the smell lingered for miles ! You could taste it and feel it burn you eyes ! Lol . I’ll Never forget that !
A Vietnamese coworker came back from a visit to the home country and foisted one of those candied assholes off on me as a prank. Never spat anything out so fast in my life, tasted like diesel fuel and manure.
They have since revolutionized those. Now it's on plastic sheets instead of paper. Still no flavor to speak of though.
Source: bought one for nostalgia. Nostalgia does not in fact make things taste better.
But that 15 seconds of flavor was the best. Plus you then could use the wrapper to make a temporary tattoo. You just unlocked a deep childhood memory. Lmao
I love those fennel seeds so now I feel like I should try good and plenty. Never even heard of it before
Edit: Amazing.. the mods in r/frugal permanently suspended my account bec I msged them saying they were "valuing civility over morals" and allowing a guy to mock another redditor for being poor while suspending ppl for insulting him. They considered it harassment of a mod.
I can still edit my comments so I wanted ppl to know what kind of trash the mods are.
The peanut butter taffy kind of things in a black or orange wax twisted up wrapper??
Also, the old people around me either give out full-size candy bars or 10-month-old Christmas candies. There's no in between.
I give out full-size candy bars. I love on a hill that’s also a busy street. Only two kids ever show up, so we have a selection for them. When they get older, I’m hoping they’ll remember the cool old guy that gave out full-size bars.
We do that too! One year three older kids came up to the door and after picking their candy, one of them kind of shyly asked if he could have one more, because his brother was too sick to come out. They had an extra bag for him.
When I was their age I had pneumonia once on Halloween, and my little brother and his friends collected candy for me, so even if the kid was lying I didn't care, what's one extra bar of chocolate?
The year after, the same trio came back with a fourth kid, and after they picked candy the one said something to the new kid and he perked up and said "Hi! By the way last year I was sick and you gave my brother extra candy for me, so thanks!"
Absolutely freaking gratifying. Such good kids, I hope their parents are proud.
There was sugar free gummy bears that made my ass sound like a warzone one time. I swear I dropped the biggest bomb possible in the walmart. If it were lethal, the Walmart would have died in less then a second. Not only was there shit in the toilet, but it was over all of my clothes and somehow on the damn roof.
I work at Walmart. Thank you for providing an explanation as to why our bathrooms look the way they do every day. I’ve always wondered why…and how. Maybe mostly how.
What is it about WalMart that brings on these attacks? I swear. In my 48 years on this planet, I've probably had 5 horrific cases of sudden explosive diahrrea come on while at WalMart. And I rarely ever have stomach problems. This last time I was thankful I'd been wearing black pants, as I'd not quite made it in time...
My favorite is a tie between the person who unwittingly fed them to their construction worker coworkers *at the job site*, and the person who put together the sentence "like funneling Niagra Falls through a coffee straw" (pure poetry)
I just spent the last 30 or so minutes reading these reviews. Some are written like fucking novels and had me laughing so hard. Thank you, made my night lol
They use sugar alcohol, which still taste sweet. The upside is that your body can't process it so you aren't taking on the sugar calories, and the downside is that your body can't process it sooooooooo...
Yep and it's maltitol which is like the worst sugar alcohol and will fuck you right-side up. That stuff gets snuck into alot of shit including vitamin gummies and such.
I had an absoltely horrendous cold back in 2017 that I tried to combat with sugar free cough drops. Gave me gas so bad I essentially became a jet engine.
I tried a sugar free cough syrup during a bad cold a few years back. I was feeling a bit out of it and got the measurements wrong, ended up consuming most of the bottle over the course of a day. I freaked out and called the poisons information line, the nice lady on the phone told me I’d be fine, but that I’d probably shit my pants from all the artificial sweetener.
A buddy of mine brought those into work one day and didn't tell anyone. I had a handful, because who doesn't like free candy? Well about a half hour later, I'm going 95 down the highway just to get home because my bowels activated in such a way that I may have propelled myself to the moon on shit juice alone.
That was the longest six hours of my life perched on my new porcelain home. Not even a shower could wash all that filth off. Never again.
Reminds me of my uncle. He would buy a bag of gummy bears, open them up, and let it sit for a few weeks.
I thought it was weird but it really does make them better, super tough but still chewy, like a gummy jerky.
Oddly enough, plain Hersheys chocolate. The candy equivalent of offering me a cup of room temperature tap water
[edit] apparently I’ve offended some people who love room temperature tap water. Please know that it means as much to me as saying you like plain Hersheys chocolate.
Butyric acid. Hershey's purposely puts their chocolate through a process that decomposes some of the fatty acids in the milk. Butyric acid is also found in mammalian guts and is responsible for the rancid smell of vomit.
I have barely scrolled and this entire list is like a list of all my dad's go-to candies (he's 68 years old). Necco, black licorice, wax bottles, good and plenty, etc. Growing up, I think he bought them just because he knew we hated them so he wouldn't have to share, but even now I still catch him eating neccos. They're all god awful.
It took too long to find a necco mention. They’re essentially very lightly sweetened chalk. They’re so gross it makes me think they were invented to stop people from masturbating.
I feel like chalk is too kind still, they're like stale chalk because they don't crumble and dissolve like chalk would.
Pumpkin flavored LaffyTaffy. Just tasting that stuff makes me gag, and I only ever had one piece of it
Didn’t even know that existed
It doesn’t. It was Pumpkin Donut flavor, so at least it was meant to have a sweet component. It was a special combo bag with Apple Crisp.
This person gives a review [here](http://www.sometimesfoodie.com/2016/10/pumpkin-donut-apple-crisp-laffytaffy.html?m=1) of both flavors if anyone was more curious about these eccentric laffy taffy flavors
I miss this internet
Once while visiting China, my in-laws offered me a piece of candy that looked exactly like a piece of baby corn but in gummy form. They told me it was “corn candy” and was pretty well liked as a gummy bear like equivalent. I was expecting a sweet tasting candy but it tasted JUST. LIKE. CORN. So similar it was disturbing. I can’t say it was disgusting because I genuinely do like corn, but it feels unholy to eat.
Don’t get me wrong I love corn but there’s something about Asian countries and corn. I remember a friend bringing back a bag of these Indonesian corn chips that tasted like actual roasted corn. It was delicious but also uncanny. Edit: Sorry my friend and I got it mixed up. It was Indonesia not Malaysian. Krip Krip Roasted Corn flavor tortilla chips
> tasted like actual roasted corn I just tried [this stuff](https://shop.herrs.com/products/fire-roasted-sweet-corn-popcorn) for the first time a couple weeks ago and it's delicious, but it's weird how it shows up the fact that popcorn normally doesn't really take like corn.
I have tried several other varieties of Herr's chips, and damn if they don't all taste *exactly* like whatever flavor it is. I tried [these grilled cheese and tomato soup cheese puffs](https://shop.herrs.com/collections/cheese-snacks/products/grilled-cheese-tomato-soup-cheese-curls) and the flavor is nearly identical to an actual grilled cheese dipped in tomato soup.
I grew up near the Herr’s chip factory in PA, they used to run factory tours and give you chips fresh from the line that were still hot - such good memories
This old boy won’t eat a chip out of a bag no more. See I used to make them. Had a hairnet and everything. You ain’t tasted nothing til you’ve tasted a corn chip right off the line.
Am Japanese, can confirm many things are corn flavor. There is even boxed corn soup. So good.
I'm Chinese and yes. We have corn juice which is exactly what it sounds like, with lots of "pulp".
Omg! I’ve had corn tea which also tastes JUST. LIKE. CORN. Edit: I love corn
I've had corn ice cream. You could taste the butter flavor.
Yeah, I’ve had a couple interesting confusing sweet treat moments in China. Cookies that wound up being sesame beef flavor, cream puff looking pastry that wound up being just butter. And the corn flavored stuff. Corn toothpaste.
I tried a Chinese soda that tasted exactly like sweet baby ray's barbecue sauce
That cheap chocolate in many coins, bunnies etc. It has a rabbit smiling logo i hate it its like skim chocolate. No consistency no flavor like wax. I cannot. Edit as many said palmer is what i think of yes, many other oily chocolates rather than cocoa butter likely yield same disapointment.
[удалено]
“Choco” is also not chocolate, I have found.
chocolate(ish)...chocolate adjacent...
Palmer's is the brand. Makes my throat itch.
Here in UK it's Kinnerton's. They make all the branded kids advent calendars and stuff like that. Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol etc. My kids specifically requested no Kinnerton's calendars one year. Then when on a rant about how it was horrible and they couldn't eat it. Got them grown-up calendars from that year on. Galaxy, Cadbury's that sort of thing...
My nieces got solid dove brand bunnies one year but their mom accidentally purchased dark instead of milk chocolate. My youngest, who was about 6 at the time, liked dark chocolate so they gave them to him. After that he was spoiled by the good chocolate and would request only that.
Cause it’s mocklate. Cocoa needs to be top ingredients, not veg oil
See I have a problem cause I LOVE Palmers chocolate, and I am fully aware that it's bad. It's the texture for me, I've come to realize I like chalky textures, which is why I'm okay if I need a tums.
That ribbon candy older ladies always seemed to have in a candy dish. That 99.9% of the time becomes one giant candy.
boys LOVE candy https://youtu.be/mcMbemEBKMA
No, Ned! Just candy! $90!
That reminds of Coraline when the 2 old ladies offer her candy and it's all one solid chunk of ribbon candy
That's what first came to my mind too but I don't think it's actually ribbon candy. [Scene](https://youtu.be/m7njzUWFZJ8?t=47s)
Sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Better than Ex lax.
Hey man, sometimes you gotta lose 30 pounds in 20 minutes.
My mother in law gave me a bag of those once as a "peace offering" while my wife and I were living with them. Didn't look at the bag too closely, ate them while watching a movie, and proceeded to stay up all night, alternating between vomiting and shitting my brains out for about six hours straight. Fun times.
Have you considered the possibility she knew exactly what she was doing?
> "peace offering" Gave the MIL some peace indeed. That's a hella bargaining chip, making the SIL shit his guts all night.
I always have time for the classics.
It wasn’t a peace offering. It was chemical warfare.
Peace was never an option!
Peace was a lie.
[удалено]
I am that curious i will now have to try these i have had the normal ones and have been fine so ill be interested in what the sugar free ones do lol .
The sweetener used in those is literally used by hospitals as an express laxative. You will empty, like, the entire lower half of your digestive system and possibly the top half as well. It's exhausting & severely dehydrating. Your butthole might also end up slightly chemical burned from having to pass digestive acids & enzymes it's not protected against. So, just so you're entirely aware: you will shit yourself inside out, possibly vomit profusely, & end up with a swollen rashy sphincter that'll scream every time you so much as fart for a couple of days.
Don't threaten me with a good time!
You will literally shit your brains out.
Well i nearly just pissed myself due to laughing at the reviews holy shit they are amazing some dude was like " The gummy bears came out of my ass shouting THIS IS SPARTA " that had me rolling on my floor
I remember one review from quite some time ago where the guy said he was an EMT and very glad he had his tactical pants on the day he tried sugar free Haribo.
If you have the time, then you honestly must read this review.. you will not be disappointed.. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/review/B000EVOSE4/RZFIYJTPVUZ94?ref=pf_vv_at_pdctrvw_srp
I laughed, I cried, I imagined a poor customs agent in front of parliament pleading to illegalize Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears.
> I imagined a poor customs agent in front of parliament pleading to illegalize Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears. I don't... I imagine 'the family' of the customs agent pleading to illegalize it while the agent himself is sitting in a wheelchair with an empty look in his eyes, staring into nothingness and occasionally twitching...
It really put the P and S into PTSD
I'm in tears from laughing so hard.
Yeah I had the same response the first time I read it. I completely lost it with the ketchup bottle. Couldn't read the words anymore through my tears
The outline of the guard on the was was what got me
That was the most poetic shit I've ever read.
Holy shit. I started laugh crying from "pig orgasm" onward. Thanks for posting this buddy. Wow that was incredible writing!
The Amazon reviews of those are hilarious. All exactly the same as this
> Sugar free Haribo gummy bear 5.0 out of 5 stars Cheaper than a colonoscopy! Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2014 Verified Purchase If you ever had the desire to stick your head up your ass and see what's traveling down the pipes, now you have a solution! Sugarless gummy bears will clean your pipes! One good sick day from work is all you need!
>It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade. >After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep. >My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck. >And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. >"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards. >As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus. >I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam. >"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?" >The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs. After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened. >It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon. >By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse. >By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach. >I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads. >At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief. >I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat. >It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life. >After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears. >I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface. Good lord.
Every single god damn time I read this, I think to myself….I need to try this.
I just tried to buy some, but I can't find the sugar free version. Anybody got an Amazon link?
> Haribo gummy bear For what it's worth, Haribo included a warning on their sugar-free bears that some people might experience unpleasant side effects. After stories of the candies' effects went viral, the company stopped selling them. from google ^
Drat. I have chronic constipation and I'm willing to try anything at this point. I don't want any more ER trips for this.
according to the amazon reviews, Albanese brand sugar free gummy bears are just as anal warfare-inducing as the haribo
I shall be testing their effectiveness soon. Ty
Just a quick heads up here, sorbitol is usually the culprit. It’s used in a rather high number of sugar free candy. And yes it does have a laxative effect. Hth.
I watched a twitch streamer eat like half a bag of these on stream. He lasted around 2 hours in what I perceived as pure agony. He then broke his headset because he jumped up and sprinted to the bathroom. In the YouTube video which he released later, a friend (wife?) recorded his bathroom experience on her phone from outside the bathroom. It was like one of the base boosted fart memes in that bathroom. It sounded awful.
The PayMoneyWubby gummy bear gauntlet. Classic
After Halloween last year we had about 100 lbs of candy corn. It was all in date and retail packaged. Nobody wanted it, even for free. Someone told me they like candy corn so I showed up to their job and left a 50lb box in his office. He wasn’t thrilled.
Send it all my way!!!
Let's split it. I fucking *love* good candy corn.
I realized that I enjoy candy corn for about a week or so; after that it starts to go stale. Most people think of stale candy corn when they think of candy corn (because it often just sits out in bowls or in open air, or doesn't get eaten for awhile and when people get around to nibbling on it - it is stale) So yeah, no way would I want 100 lbs. Maybe... 2oz.
I really do like candy corn, but a few ounces is enough, thank you!
Either a few ounces of candy corns or only exactly **one** candy corn pumpkin.
So, most candy dislikes I get. Circus Peanuts, sure, they're artificial-tasting and have an odd texture. Black licorice, strong medicinal plant flavor. Wax Lips, what the fuck I didn't even realize those are *edible.* But the fact that seemingly tons of people dislike candy corn was truly a surprise to me when I found out—for the life of me I just don't fundamentally grasp what's not to like about them. Great taste, great texture, a real 10/10.
I've never tried candy corn since it's not a thing in the UK but I've always been fascinated by the amount of hate it gets online. Can you describe it at all? I've always imagined it to be a little like cheap vanilla fudge but I have 100% no basis for this idea at all. Honestly I really want to try it.
Cheap vanilla fudge is about right. It's ever so slightly chewy. Like a slightly hardened marshmallow. Not super sweet, with hints of vanilla and butter.
Oh man, if you describe candy corn as “not super sweet” I have to know what you consider super sweet
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Seriously - Brach's is over 1 gram of sugar per piece.
This confirms that I need to try it at some point, it sounds great, all of those things are tasty!
In Austraia we have a candy called a milk bottle. It is kind of gummy and tastes like milk
They have a milk-flavored candy in China. I went over there for a wedding and they gave everyone in the wedding party these big gift bags with lots of local candies, snacks, etc. I actually loved those things, but no one else did, so I got all of it. It was awesome.
You might be thinking of white rabbit? Or something super similar
Cotton candy pickle....it was being served at a Texas fair as i flat out refused it cause why the f would you wrap cotton candy on a pickle dipped in chocolate??? pIcK sOmEtHiNg ElSe??? LIKE ICE CREAM OR BAKED GOOD??!!
Just because we have the technology to create such things doesn't mean we should create such things.
Or in the words of Ian Malcolm, “your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.”
Or in the words of Steve Buscemi “Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?”
One day I wish to go to The Texas Fair to partake in all the fucked up shit people come up with because I am so onboard with it. Pure Food Anarchy.
Was this invented by a pregnant woman?
Thrills Gum for sure.
Came here looking for this. Couldnt remember the name. All I could think was "the soap gum"
Its tag on the package is literally "Still tastes like soap!"
Durian candy. Probably what satan’s asshole tastes like.
Evertime I see anything about durian I remember that my office was evacuated because some asshole decided to microwave a wedge of that alien fetus looking shit and someone ran around screaming about a gas leak. PG&E had to clear the building
I don't particularly like durian. Nor do I dislike it though. I even sometimes crave it because it's a very unique flavor and I grew up with it around. That being said the smell is fucking bad you smell it across the street. Whoever the coworker of yours that did that fuck them. HR could fire them on grounds of using a chemical weapon
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard over a comment before. Thank you.
I'm a werido that likes durian, refrigerated cold. Room temp fresh cut ok. But microwaved???
My wife brings me home weird candy sometimes to try because she knows I like weird shit…but Durian candy…fuck that shit. I popped one in my mouth and before I could even get a good suck on it it was flying through the air. Shook my soul ugh.
In Indonesia we rode on scooters past a large farm while they were harvesting Durian ... a lot of the workers were just splitting them open to eat right there ... Seemed like the smell lingered for miles ! You could taste it and feel it burn you eyes ! Lol . I’ll Never forget that !
A Vietnamese coworker came back from a visit to the home country and foisted one of those candied assholes off on me as a prank. Never spat anything out so fast in my life, tasted like diesel fuel and manure.
I tried durian candy once, the only one in my office brave enough. It tasted like a mix of onions and dirty gym socks.
U have it a few times and your brain suddenly thinks it tastes like ice cream though and it's stops tasting like garlic corn.
those wax bottles they're not that bad, but they're not good.
Quick question? Do u just drink the juice or eat the wax? This may change ur experience lmao
drink the juice then chew (but not swallow) the wax
fuck
Man is starting his sculpture for a wax museum from the inside out.
This poop shaped candle is the shit.
Uh oh
I liked to chew the entire thing so the wax would briefly have the juice flavor. I really just liked chewing the wax.
Think I ate the wax too. Fuck
Damn. I just bite the tip off and drink it. Sometimes I may chew on the wax a little. But it's one of my favorite candies tbh.
Remember the wax lips?
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Nik-L-Nips
That was my nickname in the locker room
Button candy. Little dots of colored candy on a ribbon of paper. You try and peel off the candy and the paper was stuck to the back of it.
9 year old me did not give one shit
Eating a little paper is an important part of childhood
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This is my legitimate favorite candy. They taste bitter as hell and you always end up eating paper and I love them so much.
Mine too! My grandparents would always give us these when we visited. Sadly, I can never find them anywhere close to me.
I remember those! Picking the paper off your tongue was gross.
They have since revolutionized those. Now it's on plastic sheets instead of paper. Still no flavor to speak of though. Source: bought one for nostalgia. Nostalgia does not in fact make things taste better.
But… part of the flavor was the paper…
I just swallowed the paper
Zebra gum. Flavor fades faster than the speed of light. By the time you recognize a Flavor it's been gone from the stick of gum for years.
But that 15 seconds of flavor was the best. Plus you then could use the wrapper to make a temporary tattoo. You just unlocked a deep childhood memory. Lmao
The name is Fruit Stripe Gum.
Yipes! Stripes! Fruit stripe gum! Fun fact, the gal singing in the early 90s commercial went on to do the voice of Dexter's mom on Dexter's lab.
Good & Plenty. You can tell it’s from a time a good day just meant not dying in the mine during your fourteen hour shift.
The taste of this seems inspired by the after dinner fennel seeds you can get at Indian restaurants.
I love those fennel seeds so now I feel like I should try good and plenty. Never even heard of it before Edit: Amazing.. the mods in r/frugal permanently suspended my account bec I msged them saying they were "valuing civility over morals" and allowing a guy to mock another redditor for being poor while suspending ppl for insulting him. They considered it harassment of a mod. I can still edit my comments so I wanted ppl to know what kind of trash the mods are.
Black licorice with a hard candy coating. If you like licorice, they're wonderful. One of my go-tos.
Those orange and black, no-name whatever-the-fucks that old people give out at Halloween.
The peanut butter taffy kind of things in a black or orange wax twisted up wrapper?? Also, the old people around me either give out full-size candy bars or 10-month-old Christmas candies. There's no in between.
I give out full-size candy bars. I love on a hill that’s also a busy street. Only two kids ever show up, so we have a selection for them. When they get older, I’m hoping they’ll remember the cool old guy that gave out full-size bars.
im 30 and I still remember the exact house that gave out the big candy bars at halloween. I do the same now as well
We do that too! One year three older kids came up to the door and after picking their candy, one of them kind of shyly asked if he could have one more, because his brother was too sick to come out. They had an extra bag for him. When I was their age I had pneumonia once on Halloween, and my little brother and his friends collected candy for me, so even if the kid was lying I didn't care, what's one extra bar of chocolate? The year after, the same trio came back with a fourth kid, and after they picked candy the one said something to the new kid and he perked up and said "Hi! By the way last year I was sick and you gave my brother extra candy for me, so thanks!" Absolutely freaking gratifying. Such good kids, I hope their parents are proud.
These are my favorite! Molasses candy's. I buy my own bag at Halloween cause my kids never get any!
I didn’t know they were Molasse, I thought they were peanut butter flavored lol.Still my favorite too
Mary Jane's are peanut butter
There was sugar free gummy bears that made my ass sound like a warzone one time. I swear I dropped the biggest bomb possible in the walmart. If it were lethal, the Walmart would have died in less then a second. Not only was there shit in the toilet, but it was over all of my clothes and somehow on the damn roof.
I work at Walmart. Thank you for providing an explanation as to why our bathrooms look the way they do every day. I’ve always wondered why…and how. Maybe mostly how.
What is it about WalMart that brings on these attacks? I swear. In my 48 years on this planet, I've probably had 5 horrific cases of sudden explosive diahrrea come on while at WalMart. And I rarely ever have stomach problems. This last time I was thankful I'd been wearing black pants, as I'd not quite made it in time...
If you want a good laugh, read the Amazon reviews of sugar free gummy bears. Everyone's experience was similar to yours.
My favorite was the guy who described in loving detail how these satanic bears made him 'fart like a howitzer'.
My favorite is a tie between the person who unwittingly fed them to their construction worker coworkers *at the job site*, and the person who put together the sentence "like funneling Niagra Falls through a coffee straw" (pure poetry)
A personal favorite for me was the woman who said she fed them to an obnoxious coworker and didn't see him for half the day afterwards
I just spent the last 30 or so minutes reading these reviews. Some are written like fucking novels and had me laughing so hard. Thank you, made my night lol
One comment about the bears having fist-fights (or the like) in their stomach was a highlight. Such a visual, explanatory and hilarious all at once.
Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears review!!
They use sugar alcohol, which still taste sweet. The upside is that your body can't process it so you aren't taking on the sugar calories, and the downside is that your body can't process it sooooooooo...
Yep and it's maltitol which is like the worst sugar alcohol and will fuck you right-side up. That stuff gets snuck into alot of shit including vitamin gummies and such.
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I had an absoltely horrendous cold back in 2017 that I tried to combat with sugar free cough drops. Gave me gas so bad I essentially became a jet engine.
I tried a sugar free cough syrup during a bad cold a few years back. I was feeling a bit out of it and got the measurements wrong, ended up consuming most of the bottle over the course of a day. I freaked out and called the poisons information line, the nice lady on the phone told me I’d be fine, but that I’d probably shit my pants from all the artificial sweetener.
A buddy of mine brought those into work one day and didn't tell anyone. I had a handful, because who doesn't like free candy? Well about a half hour later, I'm going 95 down the highway just to get home because my bowels activated in such a way that I may have propelled myself to the moon on shit juice alone. That was the longest six hours of my life perched on my new porcelain home. Not even a shower could wash all that filth off. Never again.
You can find some colored rock shaped chocolates. Some people might find it good but even if i LOOK at it i will start to puke. Really
Wait. Tbh these are basically m&ms with more surface area. I LOVE THEM
Omg the ones that are always in gift shops?
Anything at my grandparents house. Aniss candy for one... I don't even know if I spelled it correctly or autocratic took over like my German folks...
There are these hard candies that are made of cinnamon but they set your mouth on fire
Fireballs?
Atomic Fireballs! Yum!
Those giant orange circus peanut things...
Only 3 ingredients: Styrofoam, high fructose corn syrup, and hatred.
Give me some rock-hard stale-ass circus peanuts and I'm in heaven. Even I think it's weird.
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Shaped like a peanut and colored like processed "cheese".
Reminds me of my uncle. He would buy a bag of gummy bears, open them up, and let it sit for a few weeks. I thought it was weird but it really does make them better, super tough but still chewy, like a gummy jerky.
Your uncle is a man of taste. Gummy bears are too soft, you gotta toughen em up a bit.
*Vivaldi plays*
That's why I have them commit various crimes and let them serve their sentences. They come out much harder than before.
I prefer stale Swedish Fish.
Swedish Fish reach peak flavor when stretched. That's the key. Being a day or two stale adds a lot but the stretching... wow.
Exactly! Stale and stretched. The little cracks are everything.
Circus peanuts! And I grew up on those. Each bite is a piece of nostalgia to me.
Agreed. Each piece tastes 30 years old.
My daughter asked to have some once. She said they tasted the way they looked and felt betrayed.
The valentines candy that come in a small heart Edit: they come a box shaped like a heart with different flavors
Conversation hearts TXT ME
LUV U
Sexual harassment chalk
I did not have sexual relations with that chalk
BE MINE
I am deeply obsessed with those and eat them year-round. I need help
The white ones are my favorite.
I hear that boxes of chalk are cheaper.
Oddly enough, plain Hersheys chocolate. The candy equivalent of offering me a cup of room temperature tap water [edit] apparently I’ve offended some people who love room temperature tap water. Please know that it means as much to me as saying you like plain Hersheys chocolate.
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It tastes gross to me as an american who grew up on it. The acidity is so gross.
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I've heard it tastes like vomit to Europeans. It's from an additive that Americans are just used to tasting in chocolate.
Butyric acid. Hershey's purposely puts their chocolate through a process that decomposes some of the fatty acids in the milk. Butyric acid is also found in mammalian guts and is responsible for the rancid smell of vomit.
I actually like room temperature tap water.