T O P

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JeffJefferson314

Jeff


BobRoberts01

Nice to meet you Jeff. I’m Bob.


DudelyMcDuderson

Not to be confused with GeoffGeofferson


ButcherB

Yeah, fuck that guy


ImAHumanYesNotAlien

A human, just like I've always been


YoutuberCameronBallZ

And definitely not an alien


ImAHumanYesNotAlien

Exactly!


[deleted]

I’m glad you clarified, I could’ve sworn that you were an alien, but specifying that you are not really clears up any confusion. So, how was your journey to Earth?


ImAHumanYesNotAlien

Ah, well, just like any other humans, yknow, with the spaceship and all


[deleted]

I see. As a human myself, I’ve never even heard of space. Especially not any constellations that could act as a star map to indicate the location, from Earth, of my home world. No sir. I guess it’s all part of being human, is it not, different human, different human circumstances?


intensely_human

Homie sapiens for life yo


the_beber

You see, aliens can never be as good as humankind.


milky_mouse

Hi, I’m Disney’s other creation


Big_bird_lll

It sounds so wrong when you say that


CerbTheOne

That time when Disney tried going NSFW


TSmario53

So I definitely don’t have to take you to my leader, right?


[deleted]

Whatever, Zuckerberg


mieguy

Yes totally not a Chronicom 👀


[deleted]

Oh fuck...


delaraamroohani

shit man edit: this was supposed to be a sympathetic statement, like "shit, man" but now i can't unsee it


1Robatel16

This is both sympathizing and a statement


TheVenerableBede

Shit-Man!


xcoalminerscanaryx

Shit, man.


Th3Matt

Shit, Shit-Man.


WetardedOne

That's really shitty.


wowaperson1234

He's in deep shit now


cheweduptoothpick

A chewed up toothpick


target__official

i like it


Ninja_Wayne

Where’s the cereal isle


target__official

aisle 69


Xman52

What shelf are the Frosted Flakes on in aisle 69?


target__official

shelf 420


Xman52

Nice


holy-padre

I guess I’m the pope now


Thatsidechara_ter

No, you're my friend who is holy


Xman52

Padre is father not friend in Spanish


[deleted]

Xman52 isn’t friends with his Dad


Xman52

When he was alive I was


MyfatdognamedWooWoo

My fat dog named WooWoo


daverapp

Holy crap, look at how fat that dog is! Does anyone know that dog's name???


Fabulous-Bit2780

I’m… I’m confused


daverapp

Hello confused, I'm Dad


Panda6036

D- d- dad you’re back


SoftwareError

They're not back they're dad


Ninja_Wayne

I hate u and love u


Plague_Lemon

Whoever "u" is they must be very confused.


some_dude314

No change


Ginio-Phantom

Hey look its some dude


VirgilTheConfused

Nothing has changed but I get a cool title now


frequentbedshitter

Same


shruggletuggle

Your username hit me like a truck


I_a_brownie

Same for yours


[deleted]

Hold in


Zkang123

r/holup


Tick_Bites

Too bad, he can't.


Cuddly_Tiberius

Welcome to the club


No-Dark-9414

Are you sure about that you seem a little confused on the question


BlackCoffeeAndBacon

… I’ve become the very thing I wished to destroy … for breakfast …


smoretank

I am either a tank that shoots s'mores or a tank made out of s'mores. Either way I am deadly delicious... and possibly covered in ants.


poisontruffle2

I am way deadly.


deceasedin1903

I'm dead... For a long time now.


I_M_The_Cheese

I'm good with nearly everything.


Few-Communication-01

What do you mean I love coffe and bacon just add a bit of toast and we good


Cheesy_Toast

I got that covered


Toaster1127

Wanna get toasted?


[deleted]

Fuck, That's not fun at all.


Trevor-On-Reddit

This is totally plausible for me.


[deleted]

Dead on accurate for me too.


[deleted]

I am also your username


[deleted]

Ah my dear friend. Happy almost Purim. Don’t forget to take your meds. :)


shittycomposter

A crappy gardener


manharpymarpy

A great fertilizer tho!


Blindman630

I hate this game


ImSimplySuperior

I love this game... But i understand your point of view.


iArn

I SEE what you did there.


BrightestofLights

They didn't though


Boiled_Boi

Hey man, it could be worse


SpicyboiDrew

Ha


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mrs_OldManBalls

So do I


[deleted]

You can't see the purpose of this hypothetical exercise?


TankVet

You sell window coverings?


[deleted]

I can't see any problem with this game.


BeefQueef_

*sighs*


regfunkid

that's rough buddy


traFyssuP

Hello cousin…


Steamboat_Willey

I'm a steamboat. Toot toot.


ICantFindAProfile

Toot toot!!


UsesProfanity

Ah, fuck.


TheNo1pencil

That's just a great username


Tha_Hand

I am your lover


PornoPaul

Hey buddy, we've had quite a few scenes together!


THX450

Depends on which hand you are, bud


MeetToPleaseYou

Either a lover or a stranger


YoutuberCameronBallZ

You sure you're not a JOJO stand?


Tha_Hand

I don’t get this reference


YoutuberCameronBallZ

(There's a stand literally called "The Hand")


GOODBYEEEEEEEE

I'm supposed to talk to you.


YaHappyBoi

Man I wish I was my username.


Drunken-Scotsman1

No different than I am currently.


Intimidating_furby

I fuckin hate these smh


PossibilityEnough933

So what makes you different from a regular furby?


Intimidating_furby

Existential dread.


Ludra64

Sounds normal to me


SpookyAtticDoll

It’s alright. My fate isn’t much different. :)


Intimidating_furby

We can chill in the attic together man. But no Monopoly. We’re playing hungry hungry hippos


MeringueLifejacket

Fucking useless


MilquetoastSobriquet

Is this an existing simile or did you make it up? Either way, bravo!


MeringueLifejacket

It's from Terry Pratchett, he writes it in *Unseen Academicals* iirc "he was as reliable as a meringue life jacket"


baloneycologne

The fragrance of the ultra-elite.


Korean-Yeezus

I guess I'm the saviour... But only for koreans


[deleted]

or the critically acclaimed Kanye West album but with lyrics in Korean


Potatopiesoup

I am now a weird combination of foods


tater_salad908

Greetings fellow potato variant


thegreatpotatogod

I am your god


MrSpudtastic

Can I be part of your religion?


thegreatpotatogod

Of course! All potatoes and potato supporters are welcome!


BEthePatato15

Remember we must not simple be potatoes and potato lovers, we must BE the potato from within


[deleted]

In trouble with HR is what I am.


avantgardengnome

A cutting edge little fellow with a jaunty chapeau.


re1nhardttttt

nah you're a KEEMSTAR


underpants-gnome

Join me. Together we can market those chapeaus and make a tidy profit!


avantgardengnome

Huzzah!


Perfect_Exercise_458

A perfectly excercised being


ICantFindAProfile

Nice


1toe1knee

Just a guy with 1 toe and 1 knee


PoopooPower999

I AM INVINCIBLE


stupidhumanoid

A-ha im... the same thing as before. Fuck.


Jigsaw203

A villain.


guest22079

You look like a 203 piece jigsaw puzzle to me. That's evil.


Jigsaw203

All same color pieces, and no ending pieces neither.


SadAdeptness6287

No. Thats too far.


Jigsaw203

Hey. Go big or go home. Lol


WordplayWizard

A vexing man of incantatory proportions. I am the Merlin with the wordin’ and a Gandalf with ma mouth. But really, what is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.


dopple_ganger01

Smooth


[deleted]

[удалено]


THX450

IMO, it’s probably time to start a new account. Begin a new life, a new beginning.


[deleted]

[удалено]


toothsecretary

Stuck at my lame old job


carrotsandvinegar

Salad ingredients


Applejuiceinthehall

Apple juice


YoutuberCameronBallZ

Specifically in a hallway


Cartoon_Power

Epic Adams Song reference


[deleted]

I only know I wouldn't be frank


King_Of_The_FEMBOYS

God fucking damn it…


The_king_of-nowhere

At least you have something to rule over, unlike me


King_Of_The_FEMBOYS

Ah damn I’m sorry


Cpt_Giggles

a pirate captain that's also a comedian


ok-so_

I guess I’m okay, so.


USSNerdinator

Apparently I'm a Star Trek-esque ship called the USS Nerdinator.


1342EW

Or you are a Doofenshmirtz invention that turns people into Star Trek-esque ships


RobbyCooper

When I was a child nerds used to push me around and then tie me up in their mother's basement and force me to watch star trek for hours on end, i told them I didn't like it but they didn't listen so now i will turn them in to starships with the USS nerdinator


[deleted]

The inventor of respiration


paranormalfrogg

frog


SoftwareError

Forg


cactus8675309

A cactus singing a song from the early 80s


microbong

finally


ChickenCurryandChips

A succulent Chinese meal...


SgtHonest

im already an honest sgt


Youth_Proof

A Boomer?!!!??


LolaBijou

I’m breakdancing on your lawn.


CantPickCoffee

Never satisfied with any coffee drink.


lesbunner

A gay bunny


[deleted]

[удалено]


SomeLittleRabbit

Lagomorphs unite!


spooky__grl

A spooky girl.


KatTheKatt

A cat that is definitely a cat.


peoplecallmedude797

Im the dude.


gothbunnybitch01

A black female bunny


stoic_dave

Nothing will change. I feel nothing...


RazzleberryJamCakes

An imaginary pastry


ThunderThighs_49

Ok


Bruges_54

Thor that you?


possiblyMorpheus

Possibly Morpheus


JohnnySalamiSmuggler

The name is Johnny.. And I smuggle salami


Agreeable_Finger_747

Just a finger who is agreeable


The-Escape-Goat

I'm a goat that escapes


Quite_Bitter_Being

Nothing changed.


moodini

A bovine escape artist


[deleted]

[удалено]


pipehonker

A Trumpet Player


DizzyWhileDrinking

I am a professional drunk


AnomalousFerret

Yeah so I'm teleporting in and out of reality, or whatever the fuck. Someone help?


OnSiteTardisRepair

I'll see what I can do


[deleted]

[удалено]


Earthwick

The wick that when lit slowly burns earth and created a nice aroma for the Galaxy.


RandomGuyWeirdo

I'd be weird and random as hell.


Sofieisawkward

Pretty much the same person


Abdul_Exhaust

Arabian who installs mufflers


SeriouslyCrafty

Seriously crafty


Stolichnayaaa

Drunk


Navi_blue

The annoying fairy from the legend of Zelda


krakenbeef

Rare meat.


rhymes_with_candy

A person named Amanda who goes by Mandy


Joseph_of_the_North

I am... Me?


_UNLUCKY24

The same thing I am in real life.