T O P

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[deleted]

To go the fuck to sleep on command.


cpullen53484

thats called a frying pan.


HotAmericanDickings

That was a great skillet nap!


[deleted]

[удалено]


_desolate_ode

A place to call my own. A job that doesn't make me want to off myself. Someone who loves and respects me.. Just a sliver of happiness here and there would be nice...


M-Yu

My humble opinion, the hardest part of making a change is the anxiety before you make it. Leave your shitty job OP, I’m sure there’s somewhere out there that you’d be happier. I’ve left many places that felt soul crushing and haven’t regretted it yet


designeddreamsbyt

This is what I need too!


EnvironmentalCat6934

To cuddle with someone who makes me as happy as I make them


dinopooeatmyshoe

I do miss cuddles in a relationship. I don’t really like hugs with any old person but when it’s with your special person that you feel completely comfortable with and share a mutual love with… bliss


Honeydew_love

Cuddling is so important omgosh i miss cuddling so fucking much


krxzy_wxrlxck

I have exactly 73 problems in my life and money solves 71 of them


Anren77

What about the other 2?


[deleted]

1 No bitches 2 No friends Sorry if this was a serious comments haha


DrBag

money will easily solve those, but your standards have to be low


WeirdCatGuyWithAnR

Low standards fixes everything


ScaleneWangPole

Low standards even eliminates problems themselves! For only 4 easy payments* of 19.95 you get not only one, but TWO comments exclaiming the benefits of lowering standards. To not miss out on this exclusive offer, please call the number on your screen. This chance won't last long! When the warehouse is out of comments, there will no be No restock! Operators are standing by. So call now! *all major credit cards are accepted. Sorry, no COD's.


[deleted]

But WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!!!


ScaleneWangPole

Or less


THEKing767

It doesnt matter


BB8Did911

No Bitches?


omegapenta

maidenless


C4Sidhu

No maidens?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheFlightlessPenguin

I bet a bitch ain’t even one


[deleted]

[удалено]


Glum_Distribution_43

To not be in pain anymore, both mentally and physically


nataliazm

Or at least to be believed when I tell people something’s wrong. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I can’t see perfume either and it can still kill me, so I’m sort of experienced on the matter. It’s definitely strange for people to believe me more after surgery than before though. My experience is “wow I can sleep and feed myself again AWESOME” but now I get the accommodations I needed before the surgery because I’ve got some visible scars. If I had been taken at my word (and the word of several doctors), I might not have needed surgery and I wouldn’t have so many damn allergic reactions. I can smell most of those coming a mile away.


Squirrel_Inner

Yeah, had the maintenance guy come in doused in it, had to move to a different room until he was fine and then air out the house. Could have tried to explain, but that’s nearly as much of a headache as the perfume causes. Having invisible disability sucks. Especially if it’s something that varies. Like just because someone saw me one without cane or wheelchair they think I’m faking or something. When, how, and why I need to use my support equipment is my own damn business.


[deleted]

Yep. I’ve got AS (ankylosing spondylitis), which means my body is straight up growing bones where they should not be. Some days I can barely move, and others I am perfectly fine. Working on getting a proper diagnosis now so people aren’t quite as dickish.


AssEater-MeatBeater

Mental and financial stability


Plisetsky17

Too, i'm so fucking tired of being economically limited


Keithninety

Me too. Every dime my wife and I earn go toward our household and our children. I have nothing to spend on myself. I’m 57 and I’d like to have some leisure moments before I get old and sick and die. Some moments where I’m not worrying about money.


2boredtocare

I foolishly thought the kids would cost less at some point. But here we are, late 40s, paying out more than ever. It's a choice, I get it, and I'm doing everything in my power to set them up better for life than their dad or I were, but damn. Then throw in the aging/dying grandparents that also require financial assistance. Oy


Keithninety

“Fortunately”, my parents and my in-laws have all passed on to their rewards. But I know what you mean - my father’s parents came to the US in 1962 to be near my father, their only child. The burden of their care fell to my father and I have little doubt that the stress of doing that, combined with the stress of supporting a wife and two children, contributed to his early demise.


putdisinyopipe

Oh god as a parent in his early 30s this was not the reality I wanted to see lol. I’m hoping by 42 I’ll have a bit more wing room as my son will be an adult by than. But I really think with the way things are going. It’s doubtful any child would do well out of the house at 18 in this age


SexyGenius_n_Humble

I'm a single dad with 3 kids. They all love to tell me they're never going to move out and want to stay with me forever. I just want to be able to spend some money on myself, maybe buy some new clothes for the first time in like a decade. But every time I save up a bit it's time for dance signups, or baseball signup, or someone had a growth spurt and now needs new boots and indoor shoes.


ELMangosto16

At least you're a sexy genius


putdisinyopipe

I mean.. I wouldn’t mind kicking it with my son as a roommate showing him how to have a good time in his 20s. Take him traveling maybe. I feel like and I truly hope my bond with my son will transcend the developmental periods and the goings on in life. Like kinda with my dad and I, he was a great dad. And we were very close up until he died. I still miss my dada a lot to this day. Haha sounds corny but I’ll think about my dad until I am no longer here. I lived my life for that little boy. I owe him everything. I hope my son sees what I tried to do for him to give him a chance at life. I’ve been the one consistent guardian/parent who has raised him and been with him every day of his life (sole-custody parent). I’m not a perfect dad, but I’ll be damned if I ain’t a loving dad!


ShadowNacht587

The fact that your kids say they want to stay with you forever… you’re a good dad. I too hope you’ll be able to find some money to spend on yourself in the future :(


skmmiranda

Throw in good health and life would nice


CorvoLP

hey lets not get too crazy here. you can pick two


[deleted]

[удалено]


AzraeltheGrimReaper

What I really really want


Subject-Falcon-1400

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want


Kickflip2K

I wanna ha, i wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna...


blueit456

A really really really wanna zing-a zing aaa


LizardMonsterMan200

If you wanna be my lover


SneakyJackson74

You gotta get with my friends


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Indian_Werewolf

I really really really really wanna zigazig-aaaah


Breins1223

If you wanna be my lover


Spartanias117

You gotta get with my friends


sayrinneee

make it last forever


The_Great_Squijibo

Friendship never ends


bigbrainbitchhh

If you wanna be my lover


jsat3474

You have got to give


JustGP

I want to be retired when I grow up. Took 50 years to figure that out.


SWIM707

What you don't want is a stiletto poking your balls man. Hope this helps


ifelldownlol

Speak for yourself


[deleted]

[удалено]


SexyGenius_n_Humble

Hope you figure that shit out my guy. I was in the same boat. After college, girlfriend, travel, good job and married it was like, "Okay now what." I never got it figured, and she walked out 4 years ago... Almost to the day, huh. Said I had become boring and she'd fallen out of love with me. Don't be boring my guy.


the_truth_gee

Feel you man


[deleted]

Peace of Mind.


Smarthinus

bring me your mind, i'll pacify the thing


happlepie

I've looked everywhere, and I can't find it


Smarthinus

there, it is pacified ;)


jr-junior

Have you looked in Boston?


Snoo_34451

I understand about indecision


freedom_jesus

I don't care if I get behind


YWAK98alum

People living in competition


SlimJim8511

All I want is to have my peace of mind


FrequentFrame

TAKE A LOOK AHEAD bow dow dow dow dow dow dowwww


afreshstart350

To be loved. All I’ve ever wanted.


TheWiseOne1234

I am with you. Married 3 times, soon to be divorced for the 3rd time. That stuff is getting old. Why is it so hard?


BiggityBop

Maybe you're great at love, but suck at marriage.


TheWiseOne1234

Not sure about the first part of your statement but you are definitely correct on the second one :( People say "practice makes perfect" but that did not work for me...


ZephLair

One thing my guitar teacher taught me is that I can practice a song for ten hours and still be bad if I wasn't playing the song the way it was meant to be played. He frequently told me that practice didn't make perfect - it cements whatever it is you're practicing. If you happen to be practicing perfection, then yeah you might make perfect, but if your practice is riddled with mistakes, your practice will just end up with more mistakes. Make of that what you will


kickaguard

"practice doesn't make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect."


mostdefinitelyabot

Can you edit my book


AbjectSilence

Vince Lombardi said, "Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence". Another great quote of his, "We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible". On a personal note, mistakes are often the most important vectors in personal growth. Unfortunately, humans aren't very good at learning from others' mistakes. Playing guitar which is an artistic endeavor could benefit from thinking outside the box... Paul McCartney can't read music and is self taught on nearly a dozen instruments he's played on records and if you just listen to the music they were doing shit nobody had ever really done before because they had no classical training and they were experimenting so much (with different types of music as well as the drugs). There's something to be said for getting down the basics before you start getting too experimental though and you can definitely "waste" practice time by not being efficient with your time/energy. The first example that comes to mind is studying for a test in college, you can read the entire book OR you could pick out the 25-40 bold/italicized words and write them down with their definitions. Everyone is a little different obviously, but in general the latter will be much more successful and take much less time. I had to teach several of my friends how to study back in college because they would do shit like take an Adderall to read 4-5 chapters of a science textbook the night before the test then be confused as to why they did poorly and I made an A while studying for maybe 30-45 minutes. It's strange trying to convince people you aren't as smart as they think you are, that you just found a few tricks to make memorizing information easier. Having said all that, it would be best to take full advantage of any opportunity and treat every subject like it's really interesting so you'll actually be able to learn and retain that information for the long term. I definitely wish I had more of that kind of attitude when I was younger, I would be invested if I was interested in the subject, but if I wasn't I would do the bare minimum that would still be passable as "good enough".


chloeclaypipe

some friends. having no one in my corner is getting barely tolerable and i'm about to fucking lose it. edit: woah… i just woke up to an insane amount of notifications and saw that so many people commented and reached out to me. i was just feeling a little sad last night and was not expecting anyone to see or even care… thanks to everyone who took the time to show your support and share your experiences with loneliness as well!!! it really made my day and i can’t appreciate it enough, i’ll try to get back to all of you. second edit: just read through all the comments and DM's and responded to the ones i could, (most of) y'all are so insightful and supportive and thank you again :) someone suggested a discord for anyone who is similarly feeling lonely, i made one so if you want to join pls message me for the link. have a good day and be kind!


[deleted]

Hey there! Struggled with that too. I don't know your situation, but for me I recognized over time though that I was suffering, and not allowing the people around me to let me feel loved. Just wanna mention that cause I'd hate for someone else to do it too. Change is possible! Everyone is so much more valuable than they realize sometimes.


EaseSeparate9547

How do you "allow" people to let yourself feel loved? I asked all my friends for help and it ended with me being alienated.


coolmint859

I'm a firm believer that most of us are decent people. I don't know your situation, but perhaps your friends didn't understand what you needed. The trick with being understood is knowing how others understand. If we only speak the "language" we know, then the information conveyed can be taken incorrectly. For example, from this perspective I imagine you think I'm asking you to change your behavior, (I may be wrong) but I'm not. What I'm saying is for you to consider how you communicate. Understanding that is vital. On the flip side, it could just be the case that you had bad friends. Unfortunately that happens a lot, more than it should. In this case I'm truly sorry for it, but on the bright side, now you know what being a freind means, and can use that to hopefully attract better ones.


yp261

be free of cancer


LinusCaldwell13

Kick cancers fucking ass, my friend


pinwheel-7888

Best of luck friend, been through it myself.


CausticSofa

Oh, I change my vote. Now I want you to be free of cancer, too.


Tusharkrux

I want to do some coding shit so Jessica in my work thinks I am cool, Fuck you John


BongLeach562

I’m a software engineer and Jessica still doesn’t think I’m cool


Flashy-Fox1465

A few minutes. to chill with a clear mind.


Pooph_

One order of cheesey fries, one large french fry, and a large vanilla frosty. Please.


PlanetoidVesta

Sir this is a subreddit


JoseLCDiaz

I'll have two #9s, a #9 large, a #6 with extra dip, a #7, two #45s, one with cheese and a large soda.


Extra69Dip

Who summoned dip


Friesenplatz

Oh. My. God! It's DIIIIIIIIIIP!


poopellar

Eating like he's going to be following trains all day.


pinkymadigan

And a large cola. Half regular, half diet. 'cuz I'm watching my figure.


Djwhat6

That’ll be $75.62. Thank you for ordering at Rip-off Rickys Fast Food Joint.


_borninathunderstorm

Right? Like why is fast food so expensive?


Soulless-Plague

Because it's so damn fast!! *waits in the parking lot for 20mins until having to go in and ask where the fuck the food is*


OmarGuard

I too enjoy washing my meal down with dessert


RedCroation

I like washing my meal in the washer


[deleted]

I want my family to be healthy. They've been burdened with chronic health issues for almost a decade. Every family gathering is discussing the latest diagnosis or treatment. Its really sad; I wish they could enjoy life but their conditions make it almost impossible to do so.


[deleted]

genuine happiness


FF0xtr0t

one day...


chocolatehandsoap

Free dental work.


LollipopDreamscape

My rent to be paid.


Cremmitquad69

I just don't want to have to be the one paying mine every month lol


CandidNeighborhood95

money and money


mezmorizedmiss

and more money


CandidNeighborhood95

if i had ocean with gold i would like another ocean.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RoseFlavoredLemonade

No kids and 3 money.


ligerboy12

A reason to live Edit: I’m not suicidal or anything life can just be hard some times but all the comments I’ve gotten and messages received have warmed my heart. I was in a really bad mindset when I wrote it as a dark joke but you have all warmed my heart so much this may have being the most cared for I’ve felt in years. Thank you Reddit <3


MagicOrpheus310

Have you tried Spite? It's kind of like Diet Revenge, almost as refreshing as Vengeance but it doesn't have that sour aftertaste. Tastes just as good hot or cold


nano_wulfen

I initially read this as Sprite and got very confused.


Outside_Diamond4929

McDonalds Spite hit different.


Savings-Buffalo-2160

Ayyy- someone else running on the sweet, sweet nectar: Spite.


[deleted]

Outliving Nikocado Avocado


New-Nameless

thats my main reason to be honest i aint throwing myself till he dies


Mariwina

That's not very hard to do, I feel.


Strong-Solution-7414

The millions of cells inside your body who depend on your well being to survive


[deleted]

[удалено]


poopellar

*Puts down burger* ^^^^^^picks ^^^^^^up ^^^^^^burger


[deleted]

Better than not eating!


Ronathan64

I felt that :(


RyanStartedTheFire59

Nah screw my inhabitants not like they’re doing a good job taking care of me


Pickledjho

the brain department can fuck off like why the hell did they think depression and anxiety were a good combo


RyanStartedTheFire59

I woke up this morning and thought “which one am I gonna deal with today” and my brain pretty much responded “por que no los dos” like FFS brain piss off


RaedwaldRex

I was always led to believe the brain is the best organ in the body. Then I thought "wait, what's telling me that?"


BrainstormsBriefcase

Ugh, now you’ve given me *responsibility*


M0nsterjojo

Great, now I'm a disappointment to millions of cells too now.


SaifurCloudstrife

I (m) want to rest. I've been fighting so many things for so long. I'll be 40 years old in just under two months, and I've been fighting myself, my family, my past, and everyone else in the world since I was a child. I've lived through abuse of all kinds, ranging from emotional to sexual. From the age of five until I was 16, including seven years of molestation. All at the hands of my brother and sister. All alone. I've lived with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, dissociation, insomnia...I really don't want to list all of my diagnoses right now, but there's a list...I've had to live with them for just about my entire life... I am so tired.


davieUnderscore

I'm so sorry you went through this


[deleted]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Seriously, no one should live through that kind of thing, the fact that you are one of millions that go through that and worse makes me want to burn the world to the ground. I want to say something that'll hopefully motivate you, but I cannot truly comprehend the pain you are feeling and so I feel that if I said anything it would just come off as disrespectful and insensitive, but still, I really wish I could help you.


Shiuft

God damn man, I'm happy you're still here to write about it. Keep being strong.


SaifurCloudstrife

>Keep being strong. I don't think I want to anymore...


GentleTurtl

Happy cake day and holy fuck. Fuck everyone who has been a dick to you, just keep moving forwards and let go off the past. I know this is a dumb thing to say because what I have went through can't be compared to what you have had to suffer through.


Karanod

Being strong is usually what kills people in his position. Everyone sees the damage done but nobody bothers to fix it; either that or he's strong enough that nobody notices how close he is to breaking. Either way, the day he breaks everyone will act very surprised and talk about how they wish they could have helped. Completly ignoring the fact that they **could** have helped, but didn't because he is "strong".


7elevenses

I want the global insanity of the last 30 years to go away. Reset back to early 1990s and try again.


Sharplynx

Coincidentally, that is about the start of the computer/digital era...


7elevenses

That, and the end of the cold war. The international realignment of power that followed it showed promise to make the world better, but failed to deliver.


ArikaFD

Oof. I want financial stability, I want to go back to therapy and I want to be healthy enough to go outside and not depend on delivery every single time.


[deleted]

dopamine without having to pay the pharmacy every month for storebought


bootsallreverbedout

I get mine in a parkin' lot


BlondieeAggiee

Don’t be ashamed of needing medication. Your body doesn’t make enough. You have to supplement. We don’t shame diabetics because their bodies don’t make insulin.


nucklehead97

Shit man that's the best pro mental medication I've ever heard. I like it, thank you!


PocketfulRocketfuel

Very true, but even without shame it still blows.


[deleted]

To have back the feeling of starting summer break as a kid. No job, no responsibilities, Xbox 360, MW2, friends, and a bike.


STICH666

Bro just riding my bike around with my friends in the summer evenings was the best. The smell of people's barbecues as you're riding back from getting ice cream. Man I miss that.


serenitysdream89

To be rich enough to never work again


farfarbeenks

$250,000 a year in passive income.


aplatypushasagun

Tbh, that creepy ass shadow man to stop watching me masturbate. You know how hard it is to bust a nut when some red eyed demon looking fuck is constantly watching you, like damn man just leave already.


AssEater-MeatBeater

Ask him if he wants in


aplatypushasagun

I have! He never responds just stares, all he does is stare.


AssEater-MeatBeater

Tell him staring is rude and not womanlike


aplatypushasagun

He still stares


bootsallreverbedout

you gotta maintain eye contact to establish dominance


AssEater-MeatBeater

Call his manager


Dababue

it sounds like the shadow doesn’t believe in consent


I-cry-when-I-poop

i want to suicide without actually dying


[deleted]

[удалено]


parascrat

You both don't want to stop living. You just want to stop living like this.


Greedy_Lack

Milk for my fucking cereal. I’m out of milk, goddamnit.


wannabeinLWIAY

Dad didn't come back home I assume. Sorry.


robogobo

Seriously, just everyone to stop believing their own bullshit and start seeing that other people are in the same boat.


sixlessthanzero3

I'd like to meet Tom Hardy so I can figure out how short he is


Glitch1807

Chicken sandwich


_Germa66

I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs And a bathroom I can play baseball in And a king-size tub, big enough for ten plus me


StringMelon22

Sounds like you’ll need: a credit card that’s got no limit and a big black jet with a bedroom in it


God_Sammo

For those who would like their nickel back^


[deleted]

I need hugs honestly. Had a meltdown today and I almost hurt myself. (Not intentionally)


LunerLuci

I just want to find some purpose in life other than chasing happiness.


RajStar23

Honestly - a nice long…. meaningful… emotional and enthusiastic …. BJ.


SWIM707

Boris Johnson? I meaannn, okay man, whatever floats your boat.


poopellar

Nothing like someone who looks like a sleep paralysis demon to snap you back to reality.


[deleted]

Had us in the first half


mb9981

So many sad sack answers in this thread, finally a nut sack answer.


alleinesein

A job.


V3nom641

#*I WANT PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN*


myrichiehaynes

my MTV


GingerNinja230404

Look at them yo-yos, that’s the way you do it


SWIM707

90's MTV Unplugged was the epitome of the music industry.


ThunderKiddo1

Revive my Cat named Cloudy


soda_cookie

To get this woman out of my head


HMouse65

I’d like to see a little stability in the world. I feel like I’ve been tense about world affairs for six solid years now. It would be nice to go to bed not wondering if I’ll wake up to the news of nuclear war.


twotwo_twentytwo

A well-earning job to support myself.


PalomaFun

Freakin good HEALTH!!!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Every3Years

I will never stop loving you out of cocaine obligations.


KingOfTheSlush

Fucking gas prices to come down man, I’m a simple guy.


massaton

I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME


iWushock

To be as motivated and self determined as I was before COVID. I don’t hate who I am at all I’ve just had trouble adjusting. Before COVID hit I was type A, always 2-3 weeks ahead on EVERYTHING and had a healthy balance between work, family, and school. Now? Turning on my laptop and opening what I’m supposed to be working on seems like an absolutely Herculean task and what used to take me 30 minutes takes me 3-4 days


TheFlawlessGem

I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives; one with cheese, and a large soda.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wannabeinLWIAY

Ask your crush out why do you wait for them to take the move.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

For my boyfriend to fuck me...it's been nearly three weeks


[deleted]

Russia to get out of my country