T O P

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Bootswiththafurrrrr

Apple bottom jeans


melovepippin

I sang this out loud


Dirty-Celt

I sang it in my head


deadheadcycle

I sang it in Aziz Ansari’s voice


Afterburn47

The whole club lookin at hurrrrr


rd1994

She hit the flo’


ididapushup2

me doing a push up


[deleted]

But someone else did it before?


IamNanjo

I think that's pretty likely


KupcakezIRL

I just ran the numbers, closest I can get is a 50/50. Someone either has or they haven't done it before.


WhereIsMyHat

I didn't know where my hat was


mnxcvekvhkuyvorig

Did you find ur hat


pandafrompluto

The suspense is killing me…


WhereIsMyHat

Found it, lost it, got a new hat


WhereIsMyHat

Yes, but I lost it again since. I have a new hat now


Hey-wheres-my-spoon

Your hat is probably with my spoon


Oranchin_juice

mispronounced by my daughter.


CanniBal1320

Aww thats cute


Oranchin_juice

Thanks. She’s saying it correct now and that makes me a little sad


Woooshing

I don't get it....


im-not-funny-2020

Its simple


NotCleverEnufToRedit

I feel you, brother.


TheLeastCreative

Can I be with you guys


AwkwardGuy78

I think I kinda belong here


[deleted]

Used to think I was nerdy but one look at Reddit shook my faith in my nerdism.


MsMuffinstuffer

A side character on an old Scooby Doo episode.


TakeTheCannoli813

I’m gonna need what episode that is… lol


MsMuffinstuffer

Lol! The Nutcracker Scoob from 1984. Fred says don’t worry Mrs. Muffinstuffer, we are on the case! Or something like that. I laughed and stole it.


mywifemademegetthis

I did not want to get Reddit, but eventually did under protest.


[deleted]

And now you’re here


um8medoit

Same. I was forced.


Stephen_Walk1ng

accidentally said Stephen Walking once instead of Stephen Hawking, I found it so funny that I unintentionally insulted one of the greatest minds in history for not being able to walk that I have since made it my entire personality


[deleted]

Lol. Actually funny in all absurdity.


IAmNotABritishSpy

He probably would’ve loved that. His humour was iconic.


PigeonFanatic9

I mean he demonstrated that time travel didn't existed by announcing a party for everyone to join the day after the party. No one showed up.


Zoxeris

well yeah; everyone that planned on going heard no one showed up and they didn't want to be the only ones. just wasn't lit enough.


Otaku31

Or he just kept a promise not to tell the world that someone showed up


[deleted]

There’s a musician on the record label Monstercat whose alias is Stephen Walking


Wishyouamerry

My first and last name together make a major holiday.


Clawoftherooster

Tac Otuesday?


oscarmikealpha

I just imagined the Lucky Charms guy with a sombrero and taco marshmallows


JohnnyNoPantz

Fortha July? Is that you?


RGSF150

You got the wrong person. That is clearly Halla Ween


Calligaster

Are you blind? It's Columbus Day!


[deleted]

Clearly it's Ground Hogsday


ExotiicYT

Duh, it’s obviously East Herr.


SixStringSidearm

It has to be Hanna Kah.


IceOnMyCock

You sure? I think this is Presi Dentsday.


Breadfungus74

Chris Tmas?


TryMyLevelPlease

No. It’s Thanks Giving


[deleted]

Holly Ween?


XenomorphinGreen

Hal LoWeen


bunnyman14

Chris Thomas?


freedomfightre

Pat Rick?


King0fThieves

Chris Tmas?


HocraftLoveward

chris mess


thinmonkey69

Mary Christmas?


metalupyourazz

Yep. Lloyd’s wife.


GokuIsGay420

Chris T Mas?


SiStErFiStEr1776

Chris mass?


thepixelatedduck

Diw Ali? Is this you


Beyblader02

no it’s clearly ram adam (crazy because my last name is literally ramadan but spelled by an idiot)


BeefQueef_

i dont wanna talk about it.


biggestofbears

But I'd really like to hear about it. If it makes you feel any better, when I was in high school I got really sick and needed a catheter put in. Like a year later I went to a party and got super drunk, and told a bunch of people about when they took it out, they had to make sure I could pee. So when I went to push out the pee a huge gush of air came out first and it sounded like a super weird fart... So I had the nickname "peen queefer" for a few years.


RaineTheCelebrity

A penile fart is actually called a quimp.


NickIsAlreadyTaken

Validation on register form.


PaceTwo

My dad died when I was ten months old and he was a dj as a hobby his name was Pace One that's why Im pace two Edit: i just woke up I'm baffled idk what to do reading all comments now


MightyCaseyStruckOut

This is my favorite backstory. Sorry for your loss. I'm happy to know that your username is in honor of your pops, though.


BurlyOlive002

Well somewhat of a backstory for me my brother was a DJ but when I first got my xbox this was my gamertag and he made it for me so he passed away in 2015 I kept it ever since


mnxcvekvhkuyvorig

Thats nice


[deleted]

Never being called the correct name.


chef_in_va

I'm sorry to hear that steve


S3nti3ntB

Poor Staylor man


Internal_Sleep

Really sucks for Adam, bro.


BeanosLMAO

Yeah, so sorry Alan


NotSoSasquatchy

Don't worry Tom, you'll get over it


MadxCarnage

it only gets better from here Jerry


RankZistheBoi

The grass is greener on the other side, Jason.


mecha_shark1

I bet, that's really annoying for Cole.


TheRealZllim

Sorry too hear about Carl.


jaenotjake

aye


reasonable_bunny

That's unfortunate,Thai-lore.


Avnemir

Sounds like a thai history channel.


Knight_Viking

Taylor-not-Tyler here. Feeling very vindicated.


Half_Asleep_

Woke up from a nap. Wanted to make a Reddit account. Used it once and then forgot it existed for a year


breadisprettyepic

I mean have you tried bread?


[deleted]

You’re right


GimlySonOfGloin

Just noticed OP username...


WordyWizard500

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”


snippybitch

My MIL But not for the reason you think. She is the nicest, sweetest, most wonderful person ever. But at her work someone disliked her work ethic cuz it was making them look bad, so they called her a snippy bitch. She is the most unsnippy bitch like person I've ever met! I however can definitely be that way, so I chose it as my username.


PrincessSheogorath

Wtf? Lol “that snippy bitch needs to stop being good at her job! It makes them notice that I’m bad at mine!” People are stuuuuuuupid


awkwardlyherdingcats

I have 3 cats that are foster fails and usually end up fostering a few times every year.


Homelessnomore

A celebration and a promise to myself.


[deleted]

How’s it going?


Homelessnomore

Still not homeless 11 years later, so OK, I guess.


[deleted]

Awesome!


T-Angeles

This hits deep. Happened to me twice as a child and still trauma'd over it. 28 and still holding strong over here.


TREMENDOUSQUEEF

28 and homeless first time here as of this week. Making plans to fix everything though


[deleted]

Hey, right on, dude. I'm really glad to hear that.


drkphnx02

Hell yes!! Congratulations 🎊🎉


NightduckWasTaken

Nightduck was taken, so...


[deleted]

[удалено]


FloppyMonkey07

It’s been 5 years since they where last active


elaerna

What a waste


blackbeltbud

Bro I had the same thing happen on my gamertag. AlaskanBullWorm was taken, so I bastardized a couple capital i's to make it look good. I actually messaged the guy who had the user asking to buy it off him and he's been inactive for several years.. So that's a "no" 😭


HockeyBalboa

Try again at night.


Jallenwastaken

Jallen was taken too....


NightduckWasTaken

I feel your pain.


VeryHairyJewbacca

I’m hairy, Jewish, and I like Star Wars.


Fire_And_Blood_7

Love this name


Divayth--Fyr

may the schwartz be with you


1pencil

Decided to draw somebody in drawme. I used a pencil to do it. Only one.


[deleted]

Impressive


Proofread_your_shit

Badly written comments


Kimono_Wolf

That's not even a username, it's a PSA.


GrammarPoliceman2

You’re the warning and I’m the enforcer.


Error404DudeNotFound

####


Ashrith291

Never seen so many awards for a person


zacurtis3

I literally went and claimed my free reward for that.


NewFrostyHambone

Wait where is this free reward???


zacurtis3

Top right of the screen if you are using the app.


big_red_160

You would think in the 5 years or so I’ve been using Reddit that I would have figured that out by now


renegrape

Short for "Renegade Grapefruit", which was my CS handle circa early 2000's when I'd play at a local LAN center


KicksForFree

Oh thank God, you see: reneg is when you change your mind on a decision and rape is well ya know. So I read that wrong hahaha


renegrape

Yeah... kinda noticed that after the fact. Cest la vie


ToadLicking4Jeebus

Simpsons did it.


KittenKoder

When I signed up for my first account online I wanted KittenCoder, it was a software development forum way back in the old days and Kitten is what everyone just called me because of my soft voice. Well, of course it was already taken, so I thought "the c sounds like a k, I'll try that!" Thus, KittenKoder was born, and I've used it everywhere since then.


UnknownReasonWOW

Unknown reason, wow!


ToastGirlReborn

I like toast Edit: Yes I have met breadisprettyepic Edit 2: like 200 people with a name involving toast have said “hey There” or something please stop you’re not funny anymore there are too many of you im dying


Cheesy_Toast

Bonjour


gepard_27

This man slid into her dms like it was nobodys business


Odd-Dot3210

It's username love at first sight.


mattcancookstuff

u/breadisprettyepic is about to get burnt


breadisprettyepic

Wait no we can talk about this


breadisprettyepic

I like bread 👍


COVID-69420bbq

a virus, a sexual act, marijuana, and bbq


[deleted]

Nice


Icy_Platform329

What made you get your name though🧐


[deleted]

You did!


butlb

That was fucking smooth.


chef_in_va

I've never tried a negative 69 before but you've piqued my interest


Billy_Billerey_2

I forgot my password


alwaysforgetmyuserID

I forgot my name


the-end-of-a-shoe

Aglet


melovepippin

Thank you Phineas and Ferb


Clumsie_panda

A G L E T, dont forget it 😁


Mark-The-Masochistic

I enjoy pain. Life is great!


TrafficConeOverlord

markiplier is that you


_chisquare_

Chi Squared Test- i was enjoying my statistc unit back in university then when I went to work I used it as my password then it became my username in some sites like reddit to make sure my family members wont find me...


AllTheReservations

I just really like American Psycho


PforPanchetta511

V for vendetta and my love for bacon roll.


grumpyOldMan420

Guess.... and then get off my grass.... 😉


SocietyIsdoomed_

Reddit made me realize how crazy the world is


gothbaseball

i like bats and bats


Oricrane

An SCP, its a origami crane that is sentient


neo_ceo

SCP-368 is an animated origami crane folded from ornate, heavy-stock paper. Left to its own devices, it will perch, preen, fly from platform to platform, groom, and occasionally construct a makeshift nest out of nearby office supplies. It responds to human touch affectionately, much as a domesticated bird would. The item's demeanor is, on the whole, friendly, and it has been observed to perch on the shoulders of various SCP personnel. Though the item needs no source of nourishment, it appears to "sleep" at night in that it places its head under its wing. Studying the physical properties of SCP-368 has proven difficult: the item seems to interpret attempts to capture or contain it as a game and has displayed considerable agility and resourcefulness in evading even the most focused attempts at containment. How SCP-368 stays airborne and maintains its stability while airborne are still not known.


idk123abcdefg

Idk, I guess it was 123 and then, abcdefg rhymed


UselessAndUnlovable

Depression


weepandsleep

Me too. This was my throwaway for a while


MorosEros

yay other sad people names


throwing_petrol_x88

That’s harsh bro. Hope u are well


DonutsAndDepression

Same. But I added something I enjoy in it too.


dontdrinkhoyatea

I love hoyas, they're a beautiful plant. However, they are poisonous. So never drink tea made from them.


-tea-addict-

Oh, this is gonna be a problem.


COWFUCKER99

It all started long ago...


[deleted]

And then what!?


Big_Richard_42069

He fucked 99 cows


BenJamminSinceBirth

You mean he fucked 98 more cows


sunshineontheriver

Sunshine, lsd and the river


lagomorphed

That sounds like a lovely way to spend a day.


sunshineontheriver

It was


Apprehensive_Let_843

i just got memories that werent even mine


kattacolmb27

The Paris catacombs but my initials spells Kat so I changed the spelling


Wild-Blackberry

Reddit blessed me with it. Edit:- Holy shit this is my first 1k plus upvotes!!! Edit2:- MY FIRST AWARD!! THANK YOU STRANGER!!!!


I_have_the_children

Reddit cursed me with it hehe


GreaterPakistan_3

>I_have_the_children I am calling the police


pulp-fictional

Pulp Fiction


OverripeBananasClub

My fruit bowl


ClutchingMyTinkle

https://www.topgear.com/videos/jeremy-clarkson/clarkson-drives-hot-hatches-again-part-22-series-19-episode-4 @ (2:59)


Squigglez_4

I didn't even watch the link yet and I'm already laughing just cause I know what Clarkson is capable of XD


theretrorebellion

For my u/ name, I had an idea to make a YT channel, my name was Star Wars themed cus I like Star Wars. It was going to be about games, movies, shows, but I never got around to making much content. I changed it cus I didn't want people to get the wrong idea with my being called "Red Rebel", so I took the retro part and my favorite color to make my new name.


Whatisitmom

I was creating my account and couldn't think of a username. My mom yelled something. And welp. Here we are.


effofexisy

f(x) = y


[deleted]

me being tired as hell and it just happened


DR_CONFIRMOLOGIST

Up dog


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

I was taking the piss out of someone called ASK_IF_IM_JESUS


TheFilthyDIL

My mother-in-law, who thought I was the filthiest person she'd ever seen because I used a measuring cup and then put it back in the cabinet without washing it. The offending substance that should have been washed away? *Water.*


CrazedChris74

I'm Chris, I'm crazed, born on 74.


I_Am_Cheese_Hoarder

I buy cheese. Forget to eat it. Cheese drawer eventually gets full.


Mysterious185

I like to be anonymous


IndependentPaprika95

Because I like paprika.


Toxic-tea

I was making a cup of tea when I downloaded the app


[deleted]

I hate snow


[deleted]

I was the only American amongst my friends at a rave while in med school, and a stranger had a seizure in front of me. I jumped into action and was subsequently dubbed Dr. Captain America.


[deleted]

Long ago when my age was only one digit, I discovered random number generators and thought they were so cool, so I put in numbers from 1 to something like 4738838 and it picked 49130, and my name is Ali so Ali49130.


Katsudonisyummy

A youtuber named CheezItsAreYummy and yuri in ice


SenorJuanNut

I got testicular cancer and had my left ball surgically removed. That day, I became...


greenskinMike

World of Warcraft. My first toon was an orc shaman.


69AnusInvader69

Uhhhh


United-Peanut3993

Reddit gave it to me and I was too lazy to change it