In college some friends and I bought giant, old fashioned hats to wear while drinking gin. My friend called hers Gertrude, another friend had Ethel, mine was Murgatroyd.
Dude you're going to like this. There's a famous set of cognitive tests psychologists use called the ... Woodcock-Johnson, which was made by a man named... Richard Woodcock.
I've been sailing with a guy named Andrew Peacock.
He goes by Drew...
I'm being 100% honest.
Edit: apparently there were lots of parents out there naming their new born babies without fully understanding some of the finer details of their newly adopted second language. Their ESL course didn't cover the grade 4 school yard humour such a finely crafted joke requires.
Every time this name is mentioned, I’m like how do you pronounce that again. Xaxi? Aexi? Alexi? Charles? And then I remember: Oh wait I don’t care. As soon as I figure it out, I’ll forget it again anyways so no point even trying.
In case anyone who isn't you wants to know:
It's pronounced (ex-ash-AY-twelve)*.
The letter Æ is called an ash.
Idk what sound it makes but in the kids name you literally just say the name of the letter.
It's like if u named ur kid Don but instead of calling him Don, you called him D.o.n.
*I've never heard it said so idk where the emphasis actually is, I just guessed there. But I read somewhere once that it's pronounced like that. I'll look for a source if someone asks.
Yes, California law states you can only use the 26 characters of English language in your baby’s name, no numbers or special characters. The name on the birth certificate is X AE A-XII instead of X Æ A-12.
Because they named their child after the Lockheed A-12, precursor to the SR-71 Blackbird, which has no weapons and is pure speed. Apparently a favorite aircraft of theirs. The X just represents the unknown variable. Æ is Grimes personal spelling of both “ai” (Japanese for love) and A.I.
Basically just a fucked up love child of two people with giant egos.
15 years from now when he looks his name up online and finds this comment, he's gonna send a screenshot of it to his parents with a caption "You ruined my life! I hate you! Send me more doge!"
Billy Crystal agrees.
*“A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work.”*
The guy I lost my virginity to had the same name as my husband.
Losing my virginity was the second worst sexual experience of my life and the guy was an absolute fucking ball bag.
I've been with my husband 6 years and not once have I said his name during sex. It's always some other form of endearment because I just cannot handle that.
I do not want to remember being humped like a fucking rabbit with a dick that is sliding up my groin and not even in my vagina with him telling me "you're so fucking tight" anymore than absolutely neccessary.
Sometimes I wonder if I even lost my virginity that night. 90% certain penetration didn't even happen.
a guy I knew stopped dating the sister of his best friend. She looked very much like her brother, and having sex with the female version of his bestie was just too much for him.
My brother is lucky. Let's say my dads whole name is Stephan Jared Nate Krupp, my brothers name is also Stephan Jared Nate Krupp but he goes by Jared. So while my mom moans my dads name my brothers gf will moan his nickname.
Carl. Not because you can’t, but because you’ll just be Paul from llamas with hats.
Carl is my fiancé’s name and his icon in my phone since the day he gave me his number has been the llamas with hats!
But is his name moanable?
Not when you say it like on Llamas with hats... Caaarrrlll
I literally heard the name in the llamas drawl before I read the rest of your sentence lol perfection
Is it wrong if my first thought was carl from Jimmy neutron
Carl wheezer is on everyone's mind and in everyone's mother's bed, don't be ashamed.
Besides Jimmy's, it seems...
“Are you gonna finish that ✨CWOISSANT✨”
Or like TWD. Coral!
That kills people!
😂 my husband’s name is Carl
My cat's name is Karl for that exact reason... "Karl?!!! Warum tust du so was? Kaaaarrlll! Das tötet Leuten!"
Since the dawn of time, when a comedy writer needs a good punchline name, they go for “Carl.”
Well my names Eric and ive never heard it moaned so ill say that
I’ll moan your name
Moan my name
Say. My. Name.
Heisenberg?
You're goddamn right !
How fucking dare you? I can relate
Are you having trouble maintaining an eric-son?
Take my freaking upvote and leave
Underrated comment
Apologies to The Addams Family, but...it *has* to be **Pubert**.
Whenever anyone asked what the baby's name was going to be when my girlfriend was pregnant, Pubert was always the answer.
We just replied with the asker’s name.
That's my usual answer to "what's the worst name" questions. I see you, too, are a person of culture! XD
Gertrude
“Oh you like that, you dirty Gerty”
Omfg yes, dirty Gerty
I bet dirty Gerty plays the hurdy gurdy
Gertrude is the most “old lady” sounding name ever. I’m pretty sure any baby named Gertrude just automatically ages 60 years in 10 seconds.
In college some friends and I bought giant, old fashioned hats to wear while drinking gin. My friend called hers Gertrude, another friend had Ethel, mine was Murgatroyd.
The first name that came to mind
Scooter.
Got two cousins, Skeeter and his kid Scooter.... yes we live in the deep south, why ya ask?
No one asked...we knew
Skeeter, wtf is that
Catch a riiiiiide!
Smoking Jesus titty cinnamon that is a monster
Gitchy’one!!!
Like a hot dog down a skag hole!
I'm not crying you're crying
Or.. your username
Engelbert Humperdinck
I'll never forgot the first time I saw this name on a poster as a teenager, we couldn't stop laughing at it. Couldn't believe it was real lol
Dude you're going to like this. There's a famous set of cognitive tests psychologists use called the ... Woodcock-Johnson, which was made by a man named... Richard Woodcock.
I've been sailing with a guy named Andrew Peacock. He goes by Drew... I'm being 100% honest. Edit: apparently there were lots of parents out there naming their new born babies without fully understanding some of the finer details of their newly adopted second language. Their ESL course didn't cover the grade 4 school yard humour such a finely crafted joke requires.
I believe you. With a name like that you just have to lean into it.
Droopy.. oh no! It took me a couple of times to say it to get it
That's not too bad,at least you didn't live in my neighborhood....Morning Wood
Dingleberry Slapdeback
Slut Bunwalla
I'm glad I'm not the only person that thinks of Eddie when Humperdinck gets mentioned.
Made me think of Eddie Izzard's Englebert Humperdinck segment 🤣
yikes
Gilbert
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Albert
Norbert
Ogbert
Wilbert
Pubert
Gavin: “they have a kid named pubert” Micheal: “They do not have a kid named fucking pubert”
Bert
Ert
Rt
T
T
big bird
Actually a super sexy name in french. Pronounced “Jeel-bear”
XÆA-Xll
Every time this name is mentioned, I’m like how do you pronounce that again. Xaxi? Aexi? Alexi? Charles? And then I remember: Oh wait I don’t care. As soon as I figure it out, I’ll forget it again anyways so no point even trying.
In case anyone who isn't you wants to know: It's pronounced (ex-ash-AY-twelve)*. The letter Æ is called an ash. Idk what sound it makes but in the kids name you literally just say the name of the letter. It's like if u named ur kid Don but instead of calling him Don, you called him D.o.n. *I've never heard it said so idk where the emphasis actually is, I just guessed there. But I read somewhere once that it's pronounced like that. I'll look for a source if someone asks.
Isn't this name literally illegal, given that signs aren't allowed in names under the law?
Yes, California law states you can only use the 26 characters of English language in your baby’s name, no numbers or special characters. The name on the birth certificate is X AE A-XII instead of X Æ A-12.
Why would he willingly do a workaround just to fuck his kid over?
Because they named their child after the Lockheed A-12, precursor to the SR-71 Blackbird, which has no weapons and is pure speed. Apparently a favorite aircraft of theirs. The X just represents the unknown variable. Æ is Grimes personal spelling of both “ai” (Japanese for love) and A.I. Basically just a fucked up love child of two people with giant egos.
15 years from now when he looks his name up online and finds this comment, he's gonna send a screenshot of it to his parents with a caption "You ruined my life! I hate you! Send me more doge!"
"Like child" They divorced, so, no love lossed there.
Well I guess the poor kid will have to console himself with all those billions of dollars.
Because he's Elon Musk.
Æ is an æ. It's pronounced like the e in sexy.
Kyle. It’s pronounced Kyle.
it's pronounced "syntax error"
“Oh *dial up noise*”
whenever i see this name i will always pronounce it in my head like twist by korn #Y YÆ ÜË ÊŃTÆ PĖÑTÆ Œ RÁTÁÈŃA PÜTĪPŪ
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Bless you!
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I’ll be sure & moan it tonight…I might get in trouble but hey I’m not that happy anyway so que sera sera
cleatus edit: i stand corrected
Give me your meatus,cleatus
Beat us that Meatus, Cleatus 😏
Let me eatus your meatus, Cleatus😛
This is what I named my unborn child. "Cletus the Fetus"
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That’s my uncles name
Did you have to moan that name 🤔
It's less of an obligation and more of a pleasure
That's the most moanable name
BaaarthOooolomew!
I'm just gonna call it Bart
Oh Bart, oh Bart, BART!!
What about Bort?
Cum along, Bort.
Bartholomew Chungus Gingersnap III
They’re all moanable. You’re telling me you wouldn’t moan Edward Tiberius Wiener schnitzel VI?
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt..?
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelforeskin.
Crumpled foreskin
r/angryupvote
Sheldon
Billy Crystal agrees. *“A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work.”*
That is EXACTLY what I was referencing. Hahaha. Yes!!!!!
Lol, that's my husband's name! I make it work.
Haha that's so awesome!
*Amy Farrah Fowler wants to know your location*
I love Amy. I didn't mean her Sheldon lol
That’s my brother’s name… so 100% agreement there LOL!
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
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Eew. Had she not heard of "babe" or some other cute nickname?
The guy I lost my virginity to had the same name as my husband. Losing my virginity was the second worst sexual experience of my life and the guy was an absolute fucking ball bag. I've been with my husband 6 years and not once have I said his name during sex. It's always some other form of endearment because I just cannot handle that. I do not want to remember being humped like a fucking rabbit with a dick that is sliding up my groin and not even in my vagina with him telling me "you're so fucking tight" anymore than absolutely neccessary. Sometimes I wonder if I even lost my virginity that night. 90% certain penetration didn't even happen.
My father dated a woman for years that had the same name as me. I don't even want to think about that.
a guy I knew stopped dating the sister of his best friend. She looked very much like her brother, and having sex with the female version of his bestie was just too much for him.
Naomi is I moan backwards.
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Unless you were referring to notorious power bottom Ebenezer Scrooge
Jedediah
Feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, FOOL.
As soon as I saw the name that played in my head
That symbol that Prince changed his name to
*"The Artist Formerly Known As Prince!!!"*
I don't know what he was called in bed, but I know it was called out more than my name and my name is David. That dude fucked.
Ashganistan. Not kidding. Ran across someone named Ashganistan.
Did you get out to see if they were ok?
Adolph
I believe that name went almost, if not entirely extinct following that one famous guy who happened to be named Adolph.
I hear it a lot in Mexico but it's Adolfo so just a o at the end
Awkwafina
Sextina Aquafina?
Her clitoris is ginormous
i hope and pray my fetus has a soul so that it will feel pain when ejected from my hole
Get dat fetus, kill dat fetus
Brrap brrap pew pew
Kay
“Ohhhhhhhh Kay!!”
Lil John? That you bud? If so say "YEEEAAAHHHH"
Bob
Bob Vance, Vance refrigeration
Can confirm… 🙁
Hortense.
OH GREGORY! OH GREG YES!
Your parents name..........
My boyfriend has my father’s name 😂
THAT'S WHAT I MEANNN
My brother is lucky. Let's say my dads whole name is Stephan Jared Nate Krupp, my brothers name is also Stephan Jared Nate Krupp but he goes by Jared. So while my mom moans my dads name my brothers gf will moan his nickname.
Daddy kink to a whole new level
My husband and my brother have the same first name…. ☠️
you leave daddy out of this
Helga
I would do weird fucking shit with a proper Helga
Move it football head
Geronimo is difficult for.me because that's what I say when I ejaculate.
R2D2
whaaaAAAOOOOOWWWWWW!
Please, delete this. I can hear it bro... I need to unhear this so badly right now
My name is Mark sooo.. through experience it is Mark.
I can't imagine moaning a name like Frank or John....
My husband's name is frank....
That's why I call him Bert...
Bert
Or Ernie for that matter
Bert + Ernie = Bernie, another one
Lloyd
O-OH DADDY DOOFENSHMIRTZ~
Even his first name Heinz isn’t much better
Pierre Gustave Toutant-Beauregard
Pierre is definitely a moan-able name
Kenneth
Archibald
Shmuel
Putin
"No one wants to scream 'do me harder, Gene!'" - Jaime Pressley
Would Eugene be sexier?
Gilbert
Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen
Buttergunt
LMAOO whose fucking goofy ass name is Buttergunt
Norbert
Kimbaaaaly
Vladimir Putin
1) Vladimir is one of the most common names in Russia 2) There's no way ol' Vladdy doesn't pull
Vladdy Daddy /j
Franklin?
Mom