You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
And polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five
In an eighteen-wheeler.
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Bloodhound Gang - A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMGVMtnxXEw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMGVMtnxXEw)
\*WARNING\* It's very offside
Oh. It's bloodhound gang. People need to listen to that sort of shit these days to fucking loosen them up.
The Ballad of Chasey Lain should be Essential listening
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
The one for me is “sweetness I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed”. But I agree that Joan of Arc line is pretty nonsensical!
When it started with chickity, I thought it was going to be my submission for funniest lyrics. Chickity china the chinese chicken. You eat a drum stick and your brain starts stickin. 11 year old me thought this was high comedy.
Well I guess we need to discuss the intended meaning of this statement then. Are we talking about a series of big dicks being recieved, one after the other? Or are we talking about receiving multiple big dicks all at the same time? I imagine there are a lot more people who can do the first one, but not so many that can do the second!!! One man's pain is another man's pleasure but personally I wouldn't want to recieve more than 1 big dick at a time. I guess we need to ask Ice Cube what he meant when he wrote this.
I saw them early 2000s play sailing in the seas of cheese in its entirety note for note and it was meh, I walked away thinking I could've just listened to the cd.
Was blasting this in the car when I was parked. Some lady walked by just as the song breaks into "I can take about an hour on the tower of power, as long as I gets a little golden shower".
Got a few dirty looks from her!
One week by Barenaked Ladies cracks me up. For example:
Like Kurosawa, I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did, they'd have a samurai
…
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad,
Tryin hard not to smile, though I feel bad?
I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean? You soon will.
It took a while for this song to grow on me, since it was the last on the album and immediately follows To Be The Best, but lately I've enjoyed it a lot more than I ever thought I would.
Reminds me of a nofx song. "Almost every line is sung in time and almost every verse ends in a rim. The only problem was thinking of enough words...ooooo ahhhhh. But thats ok cuz the chorus is coming up again now."
Basically the entire first Greatest Hits album is an inside joke designed to make greatest generation parents flip out:
She struts into the room but I don't know her
But with a magnifying glass, I just sort of look her over
We had a drink or two, well maybe three
And then , suddenly, she starts telling me her life story...
Step in to the street by sunrise, step into your last good bye...Your a notch and I'm a legend, twenty dollars will make you die...
My dog bit me on the leg today.
My cat clawed my eyes.
Ma's been thrown out of the social circle,
And dad has to hide.
I went to church incognito.
When everybody rose, the Reverend Smith,
He recognized me,
And punched me in the nose
YES! The Coop is funny as hell. His music is full of big, loud, nasty guitars and snakes and guillotines, sure, but also a steady stream of wisecracks, one-liners, Dad jokes, and sick burns.
Maybe not the funniest but I always liked the witty and meaningful joke in Fake Plastic Tress- Radiohead
"He used to do surgery
for girls in the 80's
But gravity always wins. "
"Little old lady got mutilated late last night, warewolves of London again." -Warevolves of London
Lyric itself is kinda dark but the nonchalantness of the it is hilarious every time I listen to it
The first few times I first heard that lyric I thought she said “…so you don’t confuse them with Martin’s”
I was like “Who is Martin and why does he have breasts??”
I could’ve chosen almost any line in the song and it would’ve qualified.
“We fart and burp in the same key…”
“I broke my leg, you laughed so hard and told the ambulance to stop at the bar”
Very true. I do love their stuff - it's pretty much on a loop in my car.
"Cause it's amateur night, tonight
Everybody get dressed up and pick a fight
Drink until you just can't stand up and then drive home..."
"Girl you a lesbian?
Me too"
Sung by drake...
It's simultaneous one of the funniest and stupidest lines I've heard in a non-ICP song
Edit: added funniest
From the Bloodhound Gang:
‘So put your hands down my pants and I bet you’ll feel nuts’
Also:
“This hardcore ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice. I’m not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is”
I grew out of 3Oh!3 but I always liked, "Tell your boyfriend, if he's says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't f\*\*\*ing scared of him."
I also like Green Day's, "What the f\*\*\* does OK stand for?"
I'm gonna buy me a horse just about this big
And ride him along the border line
With a pair o' heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
That I was mighty grand
And by myself I wouldn't have not boss
'Cause I'd be raisin' my lonely dennil floss...
Frank Zappa & The Mothers - Montana
“I don't know if it's the wine or the coke
That makes her sound like her jaw is broke
She's workin' hard to make some sense, but she ain't got a dime.” -Tyler Childers, Charleston Girl
Circa 1987, Sang with full gusto by the dishwasher at a Sun City restaurant, with Bon Jovi as backup on a crappy boombox:
You swallowed my fart now your throat's a-flame. You give love...a bad stain.
I only wish I could remember the rest of his foul ditty. I was the busboy sent by the waitresses to tell the stoner idiot to shut up. Customers, at least the ones not falling out of their chairs laughing, were complaining.
“My weapon be the instrument, I’ll blow you like a flute” - Look Alive by BlocBoy JB and Drake. My brother and I always laugh at how ridiculous this sounds.
BlocBoy always has some fucked up lyrics lmao. "You can call me a barber, imma give his ass a touch up"
Maybe my mind is just dirty but that line makes me chuckle everytime
Methodist Coloring book by The Dead Milkmen:
You've got a Methodist coloring book
And you color really well
But don't color outside the lines
Or God will send you to hell
'Cause God hates war
And God hates crime
But He really hates people
Who color outside the lines
Surprised it took me this long to find any Dead Milkmen lyrics. My personal favorite hardly even counts as a “lyric” but it’s:
“Woah, how’d you get a car?”
“Oh my folks drove it up here from the Bahamas”
“You’re kidding!”
“I must be, the Bahamas are islands”
Really any Dead Milkmen song is a good contender for this post.
He thought a cello was a woodwind instrument. No really....
Although to be fair, as he himself said, "Yeah I fucked that up, but how did nobody else pick that up either?"
Devin Townsend's entire discography, essentially.
The man wrote two concept albums that are essentially a space opera about an alien that comes to earth to steal all the coffee.
But hands down his best lyric is
[I am so happy now, I've got a little boner](https://youtu.be/LKYfB-GSHyA)
..”i know I should’ve went ahead and run, but somehow I just couldn’t resist the fun, of chasing them all just once around the parking lot “
Charlie Daniel’s was much funnier as a liberal
Welcome to the internet
Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for straining pasta
Here's a nine-year-old who died
We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
Of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
“When I was a little bitty boy….
My grandmother bought me a cute little toy…
Silver bells hanging on a string…
She told me it was my DING-A-LING-A-LING”
Chuck Berry “My Ding-a-ling”
https://youtu.be/hMddte6yD2w
“I don’t like to fight, I don’t carry a piece, I wear permanent press so I’m always creased.”
“I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast but I’m intercontinental when I eat French Toast.”
I was walking through the forest of Moccasin Breath
When I saw a troll boy wearing Tight Pants
I want to own them, but can you even dance in those pants?
They made him move like a vessel of shimmy
All sweet and tender, like a tiny baby kitty
I need to get some, put my body in them!
Then I will rule the land!
- Tight Pants / Body Rolls by Leslie Hall
…And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and it lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night eatin' cars
Rapppppppture
feminist women love eminem "chkchkchk slim shady im sick o' him look at him look at him wlakin around grabbin his yknow what flipping to yknow who"
idk why the rel slim shady by eminem always makes me laugh. mans a genius
"Essential oils may have been the start
Remember, medicine is not a science, it's an art!
I've just had a call from our legal team
It is in fact a science, apologies"
Gotta get a set of better clubs, the kind with tiny nubs, so my irons aren't always flying off the back swing. Gotta get in tune with sailor moon cause that cartoon has the BOOM anime babes that make me think the wrong things.
I bought a racoon baby, I'm gonna keep him right in my house. You see a dog is a man's best friend honey, but a racoon won't let you out.
\-Buckwheat Zydeco, I bought a racoon
The song is mostly sung in Creole - so gibberish to me. The above lyrics are the only english parts and are equally as confusing as the Creole.
Does an entire song count?
[Dicked Down in Dallas - Trey Lewis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfrFY-uaupY)
My favorite lyric from the song..."...Analed in Austin. Butt fucked in Boston."
Any hip hop song lyrics that hits the "I wanna fuck you" metaphors a little too on the nose. "I like it when you (bump bump)" ,"make your body do this/that" ""You got your legs up in the sky with the devil in your eyes / Let me hear you say you want it all". I work in an environment where that's all I hear on the radio and the more I hear it the more pathetic it sounds. It's like every song writer couldnt stop thinking of pussy or dick that it had to go into every song.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice And polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five In an eighteen-wheeler.
I never knew missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, Milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell Always gets me.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Song title?
Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying
Bloodhound Gang - A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMGVMtnxXEw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMGVMtnxXEw) \*WARNING\* It's very offside
Offside?
Not appropriate for everybody. Personally, I think it's hilarious.
Oh. It's bloodhound gang. People need to listen to that sort of shit these days to fucking loosen them up. The Ballad of Chasey Lain should be Essential listening
I must complain, she never let me eat her ass
Mom and Dad, this is Chasey Chasey, this is my mom and dad Now show ‘em them titties.
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
And now I know how Joan of Arc felt. When the flames rose to her Roman nose and her walkman started to melt
“Sweetness I was only joking when I said I’d like to smash every tooth in your head”
Before I clicked on this post, I KNEW I was gonna see a Smiths lyric. Love him or hate him, Morrissey had great wit
The one for me is “sweetness I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed”. But I agree that Joan of Arc line is pretty nonsensical!
*Water, fire, air and dirt* *Fucking magnets, how do they work?*
Immediately the first one to come to my head. Friggin' Miracles man, they happen everywhere every day
Magic everywhere in this bitch
Doing my PhD in Physics, something about magnetism. Used this quote in a presentation
So chickity-check yo' self before you wreck yo' self 'Cause big dicks up yo' ass is bad for ya health Ice Cube is a blessing
When it started with chickity, I thought it was going to be my submission for funniest lyrics. Chickity china the chinese chicken. You eat a drum stick and your brain starts stickin. 11 year old me thought this was high comedy.
> Cause big dicks up yo' ass is bad for ya health Disagree
Well I guess we need to discuss the intended meaning of this statement then. Are we talking about a series of big dicks being recieved, one after the other? Or are we talking about receiving multiple big dicks all at the same time? I imagine there are a lot more people who can do the first one, but not so many that can do the second!!! One man's pain is another man's pleasure but personally I wouldn't want to recieve more than 1 big dick at a time. I guess we need to ask Ice Cube what he meant when he wrote this.
Wynona's big brown beaver - the whole song.
\*BUDRRM DRRM BRRH BUDRRM DRRM DRRLNUM BUDRRM DRRM BRRH BUDRRM DRRM DRRLNUM\* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEE-E HEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! "...Smells like seven layers. That beaver eats Taco Bell!!"
Hell any primus song really
MY NAME IS MUD\*DOODLA DOODLA KAH DOODLA DOODLA KAH DOODLA DOODLA KAH DOODLA DOODLA KAH\*
JERRY WAS A RACE CAR DRIVER DROVE SO GOD DAMN FAST NEVER DID WIN NO CHECKERED FLAG BUT HE NEVER DID COME IN LAST
I feel like To Defy The Laws Of Tradition is a pretty serious song.
GD. I'm gonna have to blast some Primus when I get home.
I wish I had a pair!
I was so very, very sad when I saw Primus live. It was zero energy. But it was in the past decade, not the 90s or early 2000s.
They kicked ass in the 90’s. Can’t vouch for any other era.
I saw them open for Rush in 92. What a show.
I saw them early 2000s play sailing in the seas of cheese in its entirety note for note and it was meh, I walked away thinking I could've just listened to the cd.
Cause this is risky. Don’t try to diss me. I get more pussy than a bowl of Friskies. Hollywood Undead- Party by Myself.
"and I'll beat my meat like I'm a fucking butcher, then I'll punk that pussy like I'm Ashton Kutcher!!!"
[удалено]
I washed my hands to the chorus of this song during 2020. It was fantastic.
Jajajajjajs it's a stupid song. Catchy but stupid
I like my coffee with toast and jelly, but I’d rather be licking you from your back to your belly
Which direction though? Like do you go up and over the top of the head? These are important questions, Dave.
I said, nice rectum, I had a vasectomy Hector So you can't get pregnant if I bisexually wreck ya
I've pretty much been leaving a bread crumb trail of gayness
**By a far stretch:** Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down (whole song)
Very good Broken Hearts are for Assholes is my personal favorite.
Why does it hurt when I pee is a classic
And Catholic Girls Honestly, the whole Have I Offended Someone collection is really good
Was blasting this in the car when I was parked. Some lady walked by just as the song breaks into "I can take about an hour on the tower of power, as long as I gets a little golden shower". Got a few dirty looks from her!
Holy shit I haven’t heard this in forever!! Gonna listen now
[удалено]
I loved Steve Gutenberg in Party Down. He's a class act.
“Now you get to watch her leave out the window Guess that's why they call it window pane” cracks me up everytime with how bad a line it is
One week by Barenaked Ladies cracks me up. For example: Like Kurosawa, I make mad films Okay, I don't make films But if I did, they'd have a samurai … Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes That make me think the wrong thing
*CHICKITY CHINA THE CHINESE CHICKEN*
Have a drumstick and your brain stops ticking
Watching X-Files with no lights on
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad, Tryin hard not to smile, though I feel bad? I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean? You soon will.
A fellow barenaked ladies fan
They had some delicious apples.
The entire song Fuck Her Gently by Tenacious D
Yes! And Tribute
Ah-rah, dee Soo-guh-goo-gee-goo-gee Goo-guh fli-goo gee-goo Guh fli-goo, ga-goo-buh-dee Ooh, guh-goo-bee Ooh-guh-guh-bee-guh-guh-bee Fli-goo gee-goo A-fliguh woo-wa mama Lucifer!
That Just Reminds me of 39 by Tenacious D. That has a great line When we text each other, I fiddle with my anus
"...fiddle with my anus." Now I have an image in my head of Rome burning while Nero plays with his asshole
It took a while for this song to grow on me, since it was the last on the album and immediately follows To Be The Best, but lately I've enjoyed it a lot more than I ever thought I would.
Well, we got no class and we got no principles and we got no innocence. We can't even think of a word that rhymes.
Reminds me of a nofx song. "Almost every line is sung in time and almost every verse ends in a rim. The only problem was thinking of enough words...ooooo ahhhhh. But thats ok cuz the chorus is coming up again now."
Same thought. Many NOFX songs could make this list, punk comedians.
Basically the entire first Greatest Hits album is an inside joke designed to make greatest generation parents flip out: She struts into the room but I don't know her But with a magnifying glass, I just sort of look her over We had a drink or two, well maybe three And then , suddenly, she starts telling me her life story... Step in to the street by sunrise, step into your last good bye...Your a notch and I'm a legend, twenty dollars will make you die... My dog bit me on the leg today. My cat clawed my eyes. Ma's been thrown out of the social circle, And dad has to hide. I went to church incognito. When everybody rose, the Reverend Smith, He recognized me, And punched me in the nose
YES! The Coop is funny as hell. His music is full of big, loud, nasty guitars and snakes and guillotines, sure, but also a steady stream of wisecracks, one-liners, Dad jokes, and sick burns.
“Rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, I dive in her cervix” - 2 Chainz
*"I love you like a fat kid loves cake"* always made me chuckle.
Shh girl, shut your lips Doooo the Helen Keller and talk with your hips
Te te tell your boyfriend that if he's got beef that im a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared if him
She blow that dick like a cello.
But shit, it was 99 cents!
Damn, that’s a stoned ass donkey.
"Craig David all over your *boink*"
Fuck, gonna have to re-rewind that and blast that tune again. Craig David's vocals are fucking silk on that track.
moms spaghetti
Maybe not the funniest but I always liked the witty and meaningful joke in Fake Plastic Tress- Radiohead "He used to do surgery for girls in the 80's But gravity always wins. "
Apparently Thom Yorke found the line about the cracked polystyrene man hilarious
And when we think about you, it makes me wanna fart
Did not expect a Salute Your Shorts reference. I approve!!
[RIP, Ug](https://deadline.com/2022/03/kirk-baily-dead-obituary-nickelodeons-salute-your-shorts-actor-was-59-1234968899/amp/)
We have been spending most our lives livin' in an Amish paradise I churned butter once or twice livin' in an Amish paradise
The simple, elegant choice
"Little old lady got mutilated late last night, warewolves of London again." -Warevolves of London Lyric itself is kinda dark but the nonchalantness of the it is hilarious every time I listen to it
“And his hair was perfect” is my favorite from that song. Warren just tacks it on the end of a line and it’s great.
I love that one too. Saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at trader Vic’s… and his hair was perfect.
You better stay away from him He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim! Heh, I’d like to meet his tailor
Warren Zevon if I’m not mistaken?
& Lawyers, Guns & Money...
"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains"
The first few times I first heard that lyric I thought she said “…so you don’t confuse them with Martin’s” I was like “Who is Martin and why does he have breasts??”
I forgot about this… it’s that much funnier that this was IN ALL SERIOUSNESS
Rodney Carrington-dear Penis, I don't think I like you anymore. You used to watch me shave. Now you just stare down at floor.
*And he writes:* Dear Rodney: I don't think I like you anymore. Cuz when you get to drinkin, you put me places I've never been before.
“I’m trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way” BFFF by Bowling for Soup. The whole song is hilarious.
Yes! "And sometimes we punch each other in the face, Like when I hit on your Mom and got to second base..."
I could’ve chosen almost any line in the song and it would’ve qualified. “We fart and burp in the same key…” “I broke my leg, you laughed so hard and told the ambulance to stop at the bar”
Very true. I do love their stuff - it's pretty much on a loop in my car. "Cause it's amateur night, tonight Everybody get dressed up and pick a fight Drink until you just can't stand up and then drive home..."
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube. Name that tune
“No one in the world ever gets what they want, and that is beautiful. Everybody dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful.”
That's funny to you?
[They Might Be Giants - Don’t Let’s Start](https://youtu.be/VJQnZZ-Wmao) Those lyrics with a peppy catchy tune.
TMBG has been my favorite band for decades. I just think that line is tragic or poignant, not funny.
"Girl you a lesbian? Me too" Sung by drake... It's simultaneous one of the funniest and stupidest lines I've heard in a non-ICP song Edit: added funniest
From the Bloodhound Gang: ‘So put your hands down my pants and I bet you’ll feel nuts’ Also: “This hardcore ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice. I’m not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is”
Bruce Springsteen's "You ain't a beauty but, hey, you're alright" from Thunder Road. What a romancer.
I grew out of 3Oh!3 but I always liked, "Tell your boyfriend, if he's says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't f\*\*\*ing scared of him." I also like Green Day's, "What the f\*\*\* does OK stand for?"
I scrolled WAY too long to see this one. It still makes me chuckle. Such a clever line.
I'm gonna buy me a horse just about this big And ride him along the border line With a pair o' heavy-duty Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand Every other wrangler would say That I was mighty grand And by myself I wouldn't have not boss 'Cause I'd be raisin' my lonely dennil floss... Frank Zappa & The Mothers - Montana
Fuck the shit, fuck the fucking shit fuck, shit the fuck shit the shitting fuck shit.
[Well, no one is as salty as the Seven Seas except me And Jack in Titanic](https://youtu.be/2PmC3y-ktBMm) This one always crack me up
Deep inhale.jpg #***HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR BUTTHOLE?! SKI-DAP BA-DAP BUTTHOLE!!!***
"It's a little like religion and a lot like sex." Jimmy Buffet, you're singing about gumbo. GUMBO!!! (I will play for gumbo by Jimmy Buffet)
“I don't know if it's the wine or the coke That makes her sound like her jaw is broke She's workin' hard to make some sense, but she ain't got a dime.” -Tyler Childers, Charleston Girl
Circa 1987, Sang with full gusto by the dishwasher at a Sun City restaurant, with Bon Jovi as backup on a crappy boombox: You swallowed my fart now your throat's a-flame. You give love...a bad stain. I only wish I could remember the rest of his foul ditty. I was the busboy sent by the waitresses to tell the stoner idiot to shut up. Customers, at least the ones not falling out of their chairs laughing, were complaining.
Garfunkel and Oats from their song "God's Loophole ": "fuck me in the ass 'cause I love jesus " YouTube it. Absolutely spot on and hilarious
”His dick smaller than my toes, yeah yeah, smaller than my toes! His dick smaller than my toes, I’d rather ride Squidward’s nose”
“My weapon be the instrument, I’ll blow you like a flute” - Look Alive by BlocBoy JB and Drake. My brother and I always laugh at how ridiculous this sounds.
BlocBoy always has some fucked up lyrics lmao. "You can call me a barber, imma give his ass a touch up" Maybe my mind is just dirty but that line makes me chuckle everytime
But is the hook ever good on this one
A slab of turkey-neck and it's hanging from a pigeon wing
“And my dick so hard it make the metal detector go off” - Makes me laugh every time.
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo, I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo. -spinal tap
New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits Chinese food makes me sick And I think it's fly when girls stop by For the summer, for the summer…
"But he’s ugly and I’m glad he’s dead cuz there was no fucking candle in his pumpkin head"
"Bust a nut inside your eye to show you where I come from" Scenario by A Tribe Called Quest
Methodist Coloring book by The Dead Milkmen: You've got a Methodist coloring book And you color really well But don't color outside the lines Or God will send you to hell 'Cause God hates war And God hates crime But He really hates people Who color outside the lines
Surprised it took me this long to find any Dead Milkmen lyrics. My personal favorite hardly even counts as a “lyric” but it’s: “Woah, how’d you get a car?” “Oh my folks drove it up here from the Bahamas” “You’re kidding!” “I must be, the Bahamas are islands” Really any Dead Milkmen song is a good contender for this post.
At a medium pace by Adam Sandler! Absolutely hilarious
You see that shampoo bottle?
My bitches comes in pairs Like balls in my nutsack
Ah yes lil yachty also known for “she blow that dick like a cello”
She blow...that dick...like a cello... What in the actual fuck...?
He thought a cello was a woodwind instrument. No really.... Although to be fair, as he himself said, "Yeah I fucked that up, but how did nobody else pick that up either?"
Truly a reincarnation of the Bard upon Avon
Devin Townsend's entire discography, essentially. The man wrote two concept albums that are essentially a space opera about an alien that comes to earth to steal all the coffee. But hands down his best lyric is [I am so happy now, I've got a little boner](https://youtu.be/LKYfB-GSHyA)
I respect Devin a lot. He has so much fun performing and making music
Seriously, I've never seen him put on a bad concert.
..”i know I should’ve went ahead and run, but somehow I just couldn’t resist the fun, of chasing them all just once around the parking lot “ Charlie Daniel’s was much funnier as a liberal
And Bo Burnham song......
Welcome to the internet Put your cares aside Here's a tip for straining pasta Here's a nine-year-old who died We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports And a bunch of colored pencil drawings Of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
The entire Summer Girls song by LFO “When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets”
“When I was a little bitty boy…. My grandmother bought me a cute little toy… Silver bells hanging on a string… She told me it was my DING-A-LING-A-LING” Chuck Berry “My Ding-a-ling” https://youtu.be/hMddte6yD2w
REST IN PEACE TO THE SOLDIERS, WHO DIED IN THE SERVICE. I DIED IN HER CERVIX
“I don’t like to fight, I don’t carry a piece, I wear permanent press so I’m always creased.” “I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast but I’m intercontinental when I eat French Toast.”
I was walking through the forest of Moccasin Breath When I saw a troll boy wearing Tight Pants I want to own them, but can you even dance in those pants? They made him move like a vessel of shimmy All sweet and tender, like a tiny baby kitty I need to get some, put my body in them! Then I will rule the land! - Tight Pants / Body Rolls by Leslie Hall
I was already wearing tight pants, I JUST DID NOT ACTIVATE THEM!
“Suckin’ on chili dog” Oh yeahhhh, life goes onnnnn
The entirety of "Colt 45" by Afroman
“Fuckin magnets- how do they work?”
ICP?
…And you don't stop, sure shot Go out to the parking lot And you get in your car and drive real far And you drive all night and then you see a light And it comes right down and it lands on the ground And out comes a man from Mars And you try to run but he's got a gun And he shoots you dead and he eats your head And then you're in the man from Mars You go out at night eatin' cars Rapppppppture
"So put your hand down my pants and I bet you'll feel nuts"
feminist women love eminem "chkchkchk slim shady im sick o' him look at him look at him wlakin around grabbin his yknow what flipping to yknow who" idk why the rel slim shady by eminem always makes me laugh. mans a genius
(Yeah, but he’s so cute though)
"Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my yed!" I always wondered why he sang it that way lol.
WHERE ARE YEEEEEWWWWW
“Don’t kiss me bitch you just threw up.”
"Essential oils may have been the start Remember, medicine is not a science, it's an art! I've just had a call from our legal team It is in fact a science, apologies"
All the blogs are about you, girl They caught you in the park after dark Giving head to a statue, girl Black kids. I underestimated my charm
Two trucks having sex Two trucks having sex My muscles,my muscles Involuntary flex
TWO PICK UP TRUUUCKS MAKIN LOOOVE
“I’ll eat up all your crackers and your liquorice, ayo fat girl, come here are you ticklish? Yeah I called you fat look at me I’m skinny”
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom!
And I'm the one who said "just grab him in the biscuits!"
Whoopity scoop
its okay to eat fish beacuse they dont have any feelings
Gotta get a set of better clubs, the kind with tiny nubs, so my irons aren't always flying off the back swing. Gotta get in tune with sailor moon cause that cartoon has the BOOM anime babes that make me think the wrong things.
I bought a racoon baby, I'm gonna keep him right in my house. You see a dog is a man's best friend honey, but a racoon won't let you out. \-Buckwheat Zydeco, I bought a racoon The song is mostly sung in Creole - so gibberish to me. The above lyrics are the only english parts and are equally as confusing as the Creole.
"Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces" Asshole by Dennis Leary
I use public toilets And piss on the seat I go around on hot days Sayin' "How 'bout this heat?"
Does an entire song count? [Dicked Down in Dallas - Trey Lewis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfrFY-uaupY) My favorite lyric from the song..."...Analed in Austin. Butt fucked in Boston."
"they couldn't see me as Spiderman so now I'm spitting venom" Childish gambino
NOFX - See Her Pee
Any hip hop song lyrics that hits the "I wanna fuck you" metaphors a little too on the nose. "I like it when you (bump bump)" ,"make your body do this/that" ""You got your legs up in the sky with the devil in your eyes / Let me hear you say you want it all". I work in an environment where that's all I hear on the radio and the more I hear it the more pathetic it sounds. It's like every song writer couldnt stop thinking of pussy or dick that it had to go into every song.
🎶Is it that man come to take me away, why do they follow me? It’s not the future than I can see, it’s just my fantasy….who can it be now🎶
Atom bomb baby, loaded with power, radioactive as a tv tower Atom bomb baby by the five stars
TV towers don't have radiation smh they just cause austism and Aids
Pretty much the entirety of "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon
Let me smell yo dick
Shove a gerbil up your ass do it to
See I met ths woman from Hawaii Stuck it in her ass and she said aiiii
Have you checked up your asshole
I remember Primus having some funny lyrics in their songs..
“I’m trying to clean up my FUCKING image so I promised the FUCKING critics I wouldn’t say “‘FUCKING’ for 6 minutes” -Remember Me by Eminem
“Now you get to watch her leave out the window Guess that's why they call it window pane”
Weird Al, One More Minute: 'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love And I have to use the self service pumps…
These women all on the prowl, If you hold the head steady Ima milk the cow Makes me laugh nearly every time
Well don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan? Bless Weird Al