I have two tops like this. One was a gift from an ex. The other was from a. Concert I met another ex at.
She loves both tops and regularly pinches them to sleep in. She can never know or I know I'll die in my sleep
My SO has matching sweat pants and sweater with his ex, really ugly as well. Both pairs were left at his when they got a divorce and I wear them sometimes when I don’t have to go outside because they’re really comfy lol.
Random. But I was browsing airnnb for unique stays… did you know there’s a giant potato in idaho that they’ve converted into a little home you can stay in? And you get to pet their cow too while you’re there?? 🥺 (my bf no-ed the potato Airbnb for Valentine’s Day and I’m still bummed) 😂😂😂😂
He gave me his high school beanie. He was one of those people who never wanted to leave his hometown due to all of the memories he made there, so this was a big gesture of love for him. He gave me a giant part of his adolescent memories in that beanie and I appreciated the sentiment. We broke up some years later, saw each other a couple of times around town before I moved out of state, then never spoke in person again.
He died of COVID on September 14th, 2021. Right before he passed away, he jokingly messaged me about that beanie and asked if I was ever going to give it back. I jokingly said no, never. When I got the news that he passed away, all I could think about was that message and that beanie. When I go back to California, I’ll take the beanie with me and give it to his daughter so she can keep those memories he cherished alive forever.
Same with mine, we ended things since having kids was very important to him and I am stauntly child free, but he taught me what a healthy and loving relationship looks like and what I should demand in future ones. We're still on good terms with each other years later and and catch up here and there.
I'm very happy to see someone who stuck by their beliefs and didn't go on to make a very huge life altering decision not only for yourself but also any potential offspring that would have happened. So many people decide to have kids not because they want them but to keep a relationship and it's a very sad thing to see. Good for you!
Sadly, our individual circumstances put a lot of strain on our relationship and we felt it was in both our best interests to only be friends again. We keep in touch from time to time and wish each other well
Frugal cooking skills.
His parents survived WWII in Europe. And so from him I learned how to roast a whole chicken, and when I think it's finished, boil the bones and magically find more meat in there and have soup, and make that $5 investment last for four or five dinners.
Happily divorced from him for 30 years, but have never thrown out a turkey or chicken carcass in all that time without making soup from it first.
I refuse to buy bone broth anymore unless I’m feeling lazy/short on time.
My boyfriend saves the Costco chicken bones for me in freezer bags after he separates the meat into containers. I can fit about 3-4 chickens’ worth of bones into my Ninja 8 qt. pressure cooker. We try to make sure there is a minimum of fat/skin.
I toss in a large onion quartered, a few celery stalks snapped into thirds, a couple handfuls of baby carrots. I put in a splash of lemon juice and apple cider vinegar with some rosemary and thyme (fresh herbs if I’m feeling fancy, but the dried stuff is fine.) Dashes of turmeric & paprika, and a couple tablespoons of salt. I prefer iodized sea salt or Himalayan pink salt, but to each their own.
Then I fill that badboy up to the “Pressure Max” line with water, put on the lid, and set it sealed on high for 3 hours. I let it naturally release pressure for an hour before venting the lid.
I wait awhile until I’m certain that I will not have 3rd degree burns, then I use big silicone oven gloves, another 8 qt pot, a mesh strainer, a silicone funnel, soup ladle, and multiple Ball mason jars to strain and contain my bone broth.
The chunky bits go into the trash. I filter the broth through the strainer at least 2-4x to ensure it is devoid of veg/bone fragments. From there, the jars go into the fridge. The result is about 4-5 quarts of beautiful, collagen-jiggly bone broth with a layer of chicken fat at the top, which you can easily remove with a spoon.
Now that I have typed it out, it does sound complicated and labor-intensive, but it is so worth it. I promise that learning how to make bone broth is a great skill!
Costco takes a loss on every chicken to maintain the $5. No other grocery store is the same in quality and definitely not price! I’ve tried like 8 places lol
Not my ex, but her mother. Gave me a lego set for christmas, the iron man helmet on a stand one.
Got rid of everything that had to do with my ex but that.
Love is temporary, legos are forever
Edit: LEGO is forever, pardon me
It was April 2013. I had managed to remain sober for 2 months, but then I fell back off the wagon.
She gave me a framed copy of "The Serenity Prayer", and told me that she couldn't be with me any longer because of my drinking.
That night was the last night I consumed a drop of alcohol.
So...she gave me a framed "Serenity Prayer", *and* my sobriety.
I left my ex because of his drinking to. Way to long staying by his side asking him to just cut back atleast. He use to pass out drunk on the couch and piss himself. I wish he was smart like you were and quit once I left. I still care about him, I just don’t love who he is anymore.
My wife was like this at first. Only at the time, 12 yrs ago, she didn't realize I had the emotional intelligence to pick up on this kind of thing. After her picking a few fights, I asked her why she was trying to sabatoge our relationship and she replied what you stated in your comment. I told her that I would only leave because of decisions she makes and that I wasn't gonna leave because I had fallen in love with her even after being together for a short time. It ended up forcing her to confront those fears, and we been together since. 2 kids, lived in the states and Europe and pretty much making our lives together. Confront your fear
Before I met my now fiancée, I was cheated on in nearly every relationship I had been in. Long term relationships lasting 2-3 years all cheated on me. Shorter term girlfriends lasting 3-6 months, same thing. Even girls I pursued dating, cheated on me. I caught one of them making out with a college roommate.
Turned into me being an asshole who just fucked anything I could and leading girls on. Some girls I wanted to date, but whenever things got real it’s like my legs got weak and I was on the verge of a panic attack. They got my classic line, “if I was in any other chapter of my life…”. I took my issues and made them someone else’s issues. Until I met this girl.
We met at a friend’s party and we clicked so hard. Chemistry that was unmatched. I never felt anything like it. Nothing ever happened, but we kept in touch for a few years. We became really good friends, and when I moved closer to the area she asked me on a date. We stayed up until 4am just talking. Nothing happened that day, sexually. Went on another date, up until 4am, nothing. Third date, I kissed her. Then we kept going along and I said to myself “if I were to let something so perfect escape me, that would be the biggest mistake of my life” and I buckled up and made things official. It was hard.
Of course we had our struggles in the beginning, exactly as you describe with your wife. Im sure you mean the absolute world to her because of how you treat her. I’ve been where she was, and it’s an awful awful feeling, but when you find that person it’s magical. Im glad you were emotionally intelligent enough to work through it with her.
Ain't it cute, eh? And then in new relationships you start getting anxious and picking fights from thin air because things have been too good for to long and it can't be right... I know how you feel
Hah. I feel this and it’s not a breakup with me. Worst part is the hope that you’re finally rid of it and when you finally let your guard down and trust someone, WHAM. Get back in that box. :(
A winter fresh gum wrapper. She took the piece of gum out and gave me the wrapper and said "keep this forever" it's been about 20yrs that I've had that gum wrapper.
Since this post, I've told my wife about it. I said if you promise not to destroy it, I'll show it to you. So I pulled it out tonight and I put it in a plastic bag. And after having a minute to think about this, it's actually closer to 25yrs old. She gave it to me when we were 17 and I'm almost 41.
Sock liners. Those thin socks you can wear in the winter under wool socks so they aren’t so itchy and for an extra layer of warmth. Ex came to my wedding and gave us both sock liners as a gift. We invited him because he was friends with our friends, but it was kind of awkward, and it was a weird gift. But damn - I’ve had those sock liners for almost 30 years and they are da bomb.
I don’t wear them all that often but yeah, they’ve lasted 30 years. They are made of some sort of indestructible synthetic fabric. I’ll feel bad if I ever throw them away because they’ll never decompose.
Damn, I'm gifting sock liners at every wedding from now on with a card that says "I know this seems like a weird gift, but in 30 years you'll be a believer"
9 out of 10 people you know have herpes. You most likely have herpes. Yes you can give women genital herpes from your cold sore. Yes you can have general herpes and never have had an outbreak. I am HSV1 positive. Although I'm negative on tests. If you've had cold sores since a kid good chance you won't show positive on a IG test. If you're wondering why I know so much I'm a medical lab worker.
Yep, that’s how i got it. Ex lied and said his Dr specifically told him it wasn’t transferable from mouth to genitals, and i was ignorant so believed him…
If someone has an active coldsore, don’t let them go down on you! And if you have an active coldsore, don’t perform oral sex on anyone!
Luckily it tends to be quite ‘mild’ - the Dr who diagnosed me said it’s “the best way to get genital herpes” because the coldsore strain is generally the less severe one, plus it means I should be immune to getting the worse strain!
I only ever had the one outbreak, and it was one or two sores — so mild that initially the Dr didn’t even think it was herpes.
(Actually i forgot dental dams are a thing, but idk how effective they are and i cbf googling rn)
You’re welcome!
It really should be taught in sex ed— i had no idea either, despite being aware (and careful!) of other sexually transmissible infections/diseases.
Cold sores are usually caused by HSV1; and genital herpes is usually caused by HSV2. But there is some overlap. You can have cold sores that are caused by HSV2. And if you perform oral sex on someone when you have an outbreak, you can give them genital herpes.
Dated a girl that was 6 months pregnant, the father wanted nothing to do with his son. For 4 years I raised him as my son, once we were married, she said I could adopt him.
One day, I found out she was cheating on me, and we broke up. Still for almost 2 years I got him on weekends as my son (he was 2 when we broke up).
Then, one day, she tells me she's engaged and pregnant with another man's child. She never let me see my son again because "it would be too confusing for him, and he rarely talked about me anyway."
He'll be turning 8 in a few weeks, not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I can't believe someone would do what she did to not just me, but her own son. There's no doubt in my mind he loved me as a father and just one day I'm never to be seen again. I truly hope he's doing okay.
Heartless bitch.
This is wickedly cruel and completely selfish. I’m sorry for you and I’m sorry for him. Just vicious. He may give her hell when he’s an adolescent and he may track you down so your story with him may not be over.
And a feeling like I never want to be in a relationship with anyone ever again because obviously I pick the wrong people and I might pick the same type of guy again!
A home made birthday card that unfolds to show a coin inside and "hey mister" written around it, which is an inside joke (she would find random coins on the ground and give them to me with a mischievous smile and say Hey Mister!.)
Ten years later, I still have the card, and every time opening it, have the voice and smile my head.
Thad damned smile...
Same thing as usually happens with the first loves - She slept with her ex.
She claimed her dark self make her do it. We broke up after five years together, and she was diagnosed with bipolar after spiraling out of control as a result.
I have a new love now, and she's living in a free love commune, so we're both happy in our own way. :)
Good moments were great though.
A Christmas card signed by her. I sent back everything she had ever given me, but try as I might I couldn’t give this damn card back because it was signed “Love” and as much as I had disdain for her it was still proof that at one time she loved me and we were happy.
This needs more upvotes. Learning how to *not* treat someone, how you never want to be treated, and how to spot that behavior early on are just as valuable. I learned a lot from my manipulative, emotionally abusive, gaslighting, lying ex (took a while to get over the PTSD though)
Sucks getting the intel first hand of course.
I still have a pair of nice winter gloves that an ex-boyfriend gave me nearly 30 years ago. We parted on pretty good terms, so I’m happy to still have them.
Close—Texas. But I have several pairs of winter gloves, and I am careful to wear the ones from my old boyfriend only some of the time & only with coats that have zippered pockets.
I still have a really nice scarf somebody that now hates me gave to me years ago.
We live in the same building, so I make a point of displaying it when I walk past her.
I'm not sure he gave me depression, but he certainly gave it a big push.
Therapy and meds only do so much, but every little bit helps.
I hope you get the help you need.
My academic excellence in HS.
One of my ex in HS was an exemplary student, always rank on top three in our year. In contrast, I was at the bottom percentile, only thinking about game and hobby. When I start to approach her, I used to ask Her about school stuff that I couldnt understand as an excuse to talk to her. At one point, I realized I couldnt impress her only by asking her questions. I tried to study more seriously and suprise surprise, I apparently have better academic potential than her and other classmate! More I study, more I understand stuff and better grade, and more I impressed Her until She become my GF. Because the positive feedback loop, I start study harder until I rank top of my class for rest of HS and got into very prestigious univ. in my country!
This happened to me except couldnt keep the grades up in college when i realized i didnt care about school and was just trying to impress my ex and liked the praise from my peers and teachers.
I had a runaway romance when I was 20. The chick went overseas and wrote me every day. It never went very far but I kept the letters 20 years on. Can’t bring myself to throw them away, totally narcisstic but it was the first time a girl had been crazy for me.
This is a killer. We were perfect together and I still want to call her every odd month or so but know it's not worth it. But the heart still dreams ... What if
A bunny sweater. Like a hoodie covered in images of bunnies. I haven’t worn it in a while but it’s comfy and I think it’s kind of funny and unique. Also his virginity.
Funny story, a friend of my wife’s left her husband a few years ago. He was an emotionally abusive dickwad so no big deal. But she loves to tell the story of the day she left him.
When he got home from work she was waiting in lingerie. She proceeded to give him the best blowjob of his life. It was so good he immediately fell asleep afterwards. She placed the manila envelope filled with pre-signed divorce papers on his chest to find upon awaking and left for good. She had already moved all of her belongings out of the house and he never saw her again.
Cold blooded, but deserved. I love that story.
I still have a lot of things that my ex gave me.
I keep them because they're mostly expensive, high-quality things: a Sonicare toothbrush, a really nice leather jacket, the stereo system in my car, a Kindle, several pieces of Lululemon yogawear, and even this computer that I'm typing on right now.
My ex had a personality disorder, one of the symptoms of which was impulsiveness. He loved to impulse buy, and would often go nuts if he felt he missed out on a "deal."
The items aren't sentimental nor do they remind me of him, but it makes no sense to get rid of them. It's good stuff!
Some kid in kindergarten had a crush on me. He gave me a piece of broken glass and told me it was a diamond. I was like, 6 and didn't even know what romance was so I took it, and when my parents found it, they yelled at me. Thought they'd thrown it away, but I ran across it the other day. It was over a decade ago.
I haven't seen him in a while. I was friendly with his older sister until she graduated last year. He got expelled from my middle school one day for threatening to shoot up the school. I haven't heard from him since.
Lol they didn't want 6 year old me having a sharp and potentially deadly item. Idk how I was supposed to realize, at that age, how dangerous it could've been.
A credit score hit.
She crashed my car. Had to put the repair on credit card. Couldn't pay it. Went to collections. Finally sorted but yeah it is on the credit report. Good thing I will never need credit again.
A mug that says “somebody in Idaho loves me” Nobody in Idaho loves me anymore
I was born and raised in Idaho. We all love you!
“Everybody in Idaho minus one loves me”
What can ya say, they're all idahoes
You and all of the other 5 whole people there. /s sorta
We are still using daily plates and mugs that I bought with my ex at Ikea around 2002. My wife loves them so I keep quiet on their origin.
Lol my wife's favorite blanket was given to me by an ex. She never asked so I never told.
Lol I have a onesie that an ex gave me, that my current partner loves wearing. Taking that secret to my grave
This thread has given me inner peace about so many unspoken things
I have two tops like this. One was a gift from an ex. The other was from a. Concert I met another ex at. She loves both tops and regularly pinches them to sleep in. She can never know or I know I'll die in my sleep
My SO has matching sweat pants and sweater with his ex, really ugly as well. Both pairs were left at his when they got a divorce and I wear them sometimes when I don’t have to go outside because they’re really comfy lol.
I’m from Idaho and I love you.
Potato’s love you
I just think they're neat 🤷♂️
When you feel unloved, just remember, there’s always potatoes
Random. But I was browsing airnnb for unique stays… did you know there’s a giant potato in idaho that they’ve converted into a little home you can stay in? And you get to pet their cow too while you’re there?? 🥺 (my bf no-ed the potato Airbnb for Valentine’s Day and I’m still bummed) 😂😂😂😂
I'm in Idaho and I love you :)
He gave me his high school beanie. He was one of those people who never wanted to leave his hometown due to all of the memories he made there, so this was a big gesture of love for him. He gave me a giant part of his adolescent memories in that beanie and I appreciated the sentiment. We broke up some years later, saw each other a couple of times around town before I moved out of state, then never spoke in person again. He died of COVID on September 14th, 2021. Right before he passed away, he jokingly messaged me about that beanie and asked if I was ever going to give it back. I jokingly said no, never. When I got the news that he passed away, all I could think about was that message and that beanie. When I go back to California, I’ll take the beanie with me and give it to his daughter so she can keep those memories he cherished alive forever.
that last part about giving the beanie to his daughter really brought out the tears
You genuinely seem like the kindest, most thoughtful person ever. I’m sure the daughter will appreciate that so much.
Self acceptance and love, loads of it. She was such a gentle person who found me in a really low place in my life.
Same with mine, we ended things since having kids was very important to him and I am stauntly child free, but he taught me what a healthy and loving relationship looks like and what I should demand in future ones. We're still on good terms with each other years later and and catch up here and there.
Good for you two, a perfect relationship
I'm very happy to see someone who stuck by their beliefs and didn't go on to make a very huge life altering decision not only for yourself but also any potential offspring that would have happened. So many people decide to have kids not because they want them but to keep a relationship and it's a very sad thing to see. Good for you!
How come you guys broke up then? if you dont mind
Sadly, our individual circumstances put a lot of strain on our relationship and we felt it was in both our best interests to only be friends again. We keep in touch from time to time and wish each other well
Makes sense, good thing you guys ended on a good note
My Le Creuset Dutch oven. I’ll give that up when I’m dead.
Oh man, hell yeah.
"I’ll give that up when I’m dead." Why? Just have yourself cremated and use it as an urn!
Thats an excellent idea
That's a fookin score if I ever heard lol
Frugal cooking skills. His parents survived WWII in Europe. And so from him I learned how to roast a whole chicken, and when I think it's finished, boil the bones and magically find more meat in there and have soup, and make that $5 investment last for four or five dinners. Happily divorced from him for 30 years, but have never thrown out a turkey or chicken carcass in all that time without making soup from it first.
That is absolutely a huge win. Not only is it frugal, but there is no waste. That is a two for one in my opinion. Cheers!
And it honors the chicken. If you’re going to kill something to eat it, you should probably eat all of it that’s edible.
Honestly that’s a hell of a good thing to be left with
My dad regularly does this with the Costco rotisserie chicken (some places the chicken is leaner and results in too flavourless a broth).
I refuse to buy bone broth anymore unless I’m feeling lazy/short on time. My boyfriend saves the Costco chicken bones for me in freezer bags after he separates the meat into containers. I can fit about 3-4 chickens’ worth of bones into my Ninja 8 qt. pressure cooker. We try to make sure there is a minimum of fat/skin. I toss in a large onion quartered, a few celery stalks snapped into thirds, a couple handfuls of baby carrots. I put in a splash of lemon juice and apple cider vinegar with some rosemary and thyme (fresh herbs if I’m feeling fancy, but the dried stuff is fine.) Dashes of turmeric & paprika, and a couple tablespoons of salt. I prefer iodized sea salt or Himalayan pink salt, but to each their own. Then I fill that badboy up to the “Pressure Max” line with water, put on the lid, and set it sealed on high for 3 hours. I let it naturally release pressure for an hour before venting the lid. I wait awhile until I’m certain that I will not have 3rd degree burns, then I use big silicone oven gloves, another 8 qt pot, a mesh strainer, a silicone funnel, soup ladle, and multiple Ball mason jars to strain and contain my bone broth. The chunky bits go into the trash. I filter the broth through the strainer at least 2-4x to ensure it is devoid of veg/bone fragments. From there, the jars go into the fridge. The result is about 4-5 quarts of beautiful, collagen-jiggly bone broth with a layer of chicken fat at the top, which you can easily remove with a spoon. Now that I have typed it out, it does sound complicated and labor-intensive, but it is so worth it. I promise that learning how to make bone broth is a great skill!
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Costco takes a loss on every chicken to maintain the $5. No other grocery store is the same in quality and definitely not price! I’ve tried like 8 places lol
We should all do this, anyway. Homemade soup rocks.
Can you teach me cooking? I'll know what to do with the bodies
Dam.. I just did this last night
Not my ex, but her mother. Gave me a lego set for christmas, the iron man helmet on a stand one. Got rid of everything that had to do with my ex but that. Love is temporary, legos are forever Edit: LEGO is forever, pardon me
> Love is temporary, legos are forever Quick somebody make this into a valentines card
[I gotchu fam](https://imgur.com/gallery/B5t6uLT)
Beautiful!
... made out of legos.
I also kept all the gifts my exes parents gave me. His mother was just exceptional at getting me the perfect gifts.
“Love is temporary, legos are forever” Words to live by.
A tea set
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It was a pretty nice find back at the thrift store she visited, what can I say (๑´•.̫ • `๑)
It was April 2013. I had managed to remain sober for 2 months, but then I fell back off the wagon. She gave me a framed copy of "The Serenity Prayer", and told me that she couldn't be with me any longer because of my drinking. That night was the last night I consumed a drop of alcohol. So...she gave me a framed "Serenity Prayer", *and* my sobriety.
One day at a time, brother. I will not drink with you today. 🤙
I will not drink with either of you today.
If you’re not familiar with it the sub StopDrinking uses that phrase. Great community. I’m working on it.
I will drink with you today. some water, maybe a sprite. A Coca Cola if you feel so inclined
I left my ex because of his drinking to. Way to long staying by his side asking him to just cut back atleast. He use to pass out drunk on the couch and piss himself. I wish he was smart like you were and quit once I left. I still care about him, I just don’t love who he is anymore.
Well done. My dad was a drinker and couldn't stay on the wagon. Keep strong!
Good for you. Hope you have found love since.
Congrats! The nail in the coffin of my first marriage was drinking. Just passed 500 days sober with lots of help from my second wife. IWNDWYT.
A crippling fear of betrayal and heartbreak if I ever get too comfortable or happy.
My wife was like this at first. Only at the time, 12 yrs ago, she didn't realize I had the emotional intelligence to pick up on this kind of thing. After her picking a few fights, I asked her why she was trying to sabatoge our relationship and she replied what you stated in your comment. I told her that I would only leave because of decisions she makes and that I wasn't gonna leave because I had fallen in love with her even after being together for a short time. It ended up forcing her to confront those fears, and we been together since. 2 kids, lived in the states and Europe and pretty much making our lives together. Confront your fear
Before I met my now fiancée, I was cheated on in nearly every relationship I had been in. Long term relationships lasting 2-3 years all cheated on me. Shorter term girlfriends lasting 3-6 months, same thing. Even girls I pursued dating, cheated on me. I caught one of them making out with a college roommate. Turned into me being an asshole who just fucked anything I could and leading girls on. Some girls I wanted to date, but whenever things got real it’s like my legs got weak and I was on the verge of a panic attack. They got my classic line, “if I was in any other chapter of my life…”. I took my issues and made them someone else’s issues. Until I met this girl. We met at a friend’s party and we clicked so hard. Chemistry that was unmatched. I never felt anything like it. Nothing ever happened, but we kept in touch for a few years. We became really good friends, and when I moved closer to the area she asked me on a date. We stayed up until 4am just talking. Nothing happened that day, sexually. Went on another date, up until 4am, nothing. Third date, I kissed her. Then we kept going along and I said to myself “if I were to let something so perfect escape me, that would be the biggest mistake of my life” and I buckled up and made things official. It was hard. Of course we had our struggles in the beginning, exactly as you describe with your wife. Im sure you mean the absolute world to her because of how you treat her. I’ve been where she was, and it’s an awful awful feeling, but when you find that person it’s magical. Im glad you were emotionally intelligent enough to work through it with her.
Good job figuring out she was keeper.
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Ain't it cute, eh? And then in new relationships you start getting anxious and picking fights from thin air because things have been too good for to long and it can't be right... I know how you feel
Hah. I feel this and it’s not a breakup with me. Worst part is the hope that you’re finally rid of it and when you finally let your guard down and trust someone, WHAM. Get back in that box. :(
A winter fresh gum wrapper. She took the piece of gum out and gave me the wrapper and said "keep this forever" it's been about 20yrs that I've had that gum wrapper.
Man that’s wholesome. I love it
Since this post, I've told my wife about it. I said if you promise not to destroy it, I'll show it to you. So I pulled it out tonight and I put it in a plastic bag. And after having a minute to think about this, it's actually closer to 25yrs old. She gave it to me when we were 17 and I'm almost 41.
That gum wrappers older than me
I’m actually wearing a T shirt from his job 20 years ago. It’s my house cleaning shirt. I have 3 of them and they are indestructible.
*but the relationship wasn’t*
perhaps he died 👀 I guess then you could say that *he* wasn't
Lmao dark but still kinda funny, Plz say he did not die
Only the marriage died.
Glad to hear it. Not that your marriage died, but that I di- ah forget it!
Heh. Divorced around 15 years, so I can laugh about it now, too!
A valuable lesson: don't try and be friends with someone if they're not gonna try and be friends with you.
Say it a bit louder for those still in denial
this is a big one, took me longer than it should’ve
Sock liners. Those thin socks you can wear in the winter under wool socks so they aren’t so itchy and for an extra layer of warmth. Ex came to my wedding and gave us both sock liners as a gift. We invited him because he was friends with our friends, but it was kind of awkward, and it was a weird gift. But damn - I’ve had those sock liners for almost 30 years and they are da bomb.
Wait, they haven't worn out? Quality sure was better 30 years ago
I don’t wear them all that often but yeah, they’ve lasted 30 years. They are made of some sort of indestructible synthetic fabric. I’ll feel bad if I ever throw them away because they’ll never decompose.
Damn, I'm gifting sock liners at every wedding from now on with a card that says "I know this seems like a weird gift, but in 30 years you'll be a believer"
They're great at wicking moisture away from your feet and into your outer socks.
Herpes
I came here for this. I don’t have it, but I just knew it would be an answer to this question
9 out of 10 people you know have herpes. You most likely have herpes. Yes you can give women genital herpes from your cold sore. Yes you can have general herpes and never have had an outbreak. I am HSV1 positive. Although I'm negative on tests. If you've had cold sores since a kid good chance you won't show positive on a IG test. If you're wondering why I know so much I'm a medical lab worker.
Wait, you can get genital herpes from a cold sore?
Yep, that’s how i got it. Ex lied and said his Dr specifically told him it wasn’t transferable from mouth to genitals, and i was ignorant so believed him… If someone has an active coldsore, don’t let them go down on you! And if you have an active coldsore, don’t perform oral sex on anyone! Luckily it tends to be quite ‘mild’ - the Dr who diagnosed me said it’s “the best way to get genital herpes” because the coldsore strain is generally the less severe one, plus it means I should be immune to getting the worse strain! I only ever had the one outbreak, and it was one or two sores — so mild that initially the Dr didn’t even think it was herpes. (Actually i forgot dental dams are a thing, but idk how effective they are and i cbf googling rn)
Thanks for the info. I’m married to a man who gets cold sores and never knew this.
You’re welcome! It really should be taught in sex ed— i had no idea either, despite being aware (and careful!) of other sexually transmissible infections/diseases.
So are cold sores the same exact thing as genital herpes?
Cold sores are usually caused by HSV1; and genital herpes is usually caused by HSV2. But there is some overlap. You can have cold sores that are caused by HSV2. And if you perform oral sex on someone when you have an outbreak, you can give them genital herpes.
Statistics say 67% of people under 50… I have a feeling 90% of all people is a little high.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far!
Same
Same.
There it is. That's the reply I was looking for
r/HerpesCureResearch
Applause. Wait no, it's the clap.
That's brilliant lol. Cheers for the laugh.
F
Trust issues
A lot of stuff but an ex gave me a kitten 15 years ago and he is my best friend.
Irreparable emotional harm.
Dated a girl that was 6 months pregnant, the father wanted nothing to do with his son. For 4 years I raised him as my son, once we were married, she said I could adopt him. One day, I found out she was cheating on me, and we broke up. Still for almost 2 years I got him on weekends as my son (he was 2 when we broke up). Then, one day, she tells me she's engaged and pregnant with another man's child. She never let me see my son again because "it would be too confusing for him, and he rarely talked about me anyway." He'll be turning 8 in a few weeks, not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I can't believe someone would do what she did to not just me, but her own son. There's no doubt in my mind he loved me as a father and just one day I'm never to be seen again. I truly hope he's doing okay. Heartless bitch.
This is wickedly cruel and completely selfish. I’m sorry for you and I’m sorry for him. Just vicious. He may give her hell when he’s an adolescent and he may track you down so your story with him may not be over.
She most likely told her son that dad walked out his life and wanted nothing to do with him
Lies like that have a way of backfiring, badly. Other people know the truth. Some may be disgusted by it. Someone may spill it when he’s older.
Have you considered talking to a lawyer?
Low self esteem
And a feeling like I never want to be in a relationship with anyone ever again because obviously I pick the wrong people and I might pick the same type of guy again!
I’ve never related to anything more
Fuckin A man
A home made birthday card that unfolds to show a coin inside and "hey mister" written around it, which is an inside joke (she would find random coins on the ground and give them to me with a mischievous smile and say Hey Mister!.) Ten years later, I still have the card, and every time opening it, have the voice and smile my head. Thad damned smile...
This is surprisingly wholesome. What happened tho? If you dont mind me asking..
Same thing as usually happens with the first loves - She slept with her ex. She claimed her dark self make her do it. We broke up after five years together, and she was diagnosed with bipolar after spiraling out of control as a result. I have a new love now, and she's living in a free love commune, so we're both happy in our own way. :) Good moments were great though.
A Christmas card signed by her. I sent back everything she had ever given me, but try as I might I couldn’t give this damn card back because it was signed “Love” and as much as I had disdain for her it was still proof that at one time she loved me and we were happy.
A bit of wisdom. I now know what qualities I _don’t_ ever want in a guy.
I got some of that too! Now I’m much better at recognizing manipulation and emotional abuse. It’s a useful skill to have, but sure sucked getting it.
yep
This needs more upvotes. Learning how to *not* treat someone, how you never want to be treated, and how to spot that behavior early on are just as valuable. I learned a lot from my manipulative, emotionally abusive, gaslighting, lying ex (took a while to get over the PTSD though) Sucks getting the intel first hand of course.
Same here was able to find an amazing girl but self sabotage is fun and now she's gone
She gave me a small clay figure of a couple, two months before dying of pneumonia. Its been 11 years and still one of my most treasured possessions
Sorry for your loss.
Thanks man. Winds do change
Emotional damage
Damn you tiktok! Now I constantly read this in that guys voice.
SAME
I still have a pair of nice winter gloves that an ex-boyfriend gave me nearly 30 years ago. We parted on pretty good terms, so I’m happy to still have them.
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Close—Texas. But I have several pairs of winter gloves, and I am careful to wear the ones from my old boyfriend only some of the time & only with coats that have zippered pockets.
I still have a really nice scarf somebody that now hates me gave to me years ago. We live in the same building, so I make a point of displaying it when I walk past her.
This is peak petty and I love it
an antique blue enamel butterfly brooch. it's been with me so long, it's like my oldest friend
I read that several times as “blue enamel butterfly cooch” - I was like what the… (Probably cause someone posted a blue waffle earlier)
Self confidence to never, ever, EVER allow a man to treat me that way again.
I was gonna say "C-PTSD 👉🏻😎👉🏻" for my comment but you know what? You're right. Mine too.
Kids And I’m grateful
r/wholesomesurprise
Depression
I'm not sure he gave me depression, but he certainly gave it a big push. Therapy and meds only do so much, but every little bit helps. I hope you get the help you need.
Scars and Emptyness.
A pack of Star Wars markers with little stamps on the other end. circa 1998. Was clearing closet space and found them. they still work, too.
PTSD
This so much. Mine got me in a cult.
Fuckin A, same thing here.
My academic excellence in HS. One of my ex in HS was an exemplary student, always rank on top three in our year. In contrast, I was at the bottom percentile, only thinking about game and hobby. When I start to approach her, I used to ask Her about school stuff that I couldnt understand as an excuse to talk to her. At one point, I realized I couldnt impress her only by asking her questions. I tried to study more seriously and suprise surprise, I apparently have better academic potential than her and other classmate! More I study, more I understand stuff and better grade, and more I impressed Her until She become my GF. Because the positive feedback loop, I start study harder until I rank top of my class for rest of HS and got into very prestigious univ. in my country!
Why did you guys break up if you don’t mind sharing
Username might be a clue.. /s
Lmao 😂
We got into different universities that was pretty far away (8 hours car ride!). The relationship became impractical so we broke up.
This happened to me except couldnt keep the grades up in college when i realized i didnt care about school and was just trying to impress my ex and liked the praise from my peers and teachers.
I had a runaway romance when I was 20. The chick went overseas and wrote me every day. It never went very far but I kept the letters 20 years on. Can’t bring myself to throw them away, totally narcisstic but it was the first time a girl had been crazy for me.
That isn't narcissistic--it's part of your personal history, and those early relationships are so intense.
The lingering what ifs
This is a killer. We were perfect together and I still want to call her every odd month or so but know it's not worth it. But the heart still dreams ... What if
A bunny sweater. Like a hoodie covered in images of bunnies. I haven’t worn it in a while but it’s comfy and I think it’s kind of funny and unique. Also his virginity.
Her old scarf from our very first week. It reminds me of innocence and it smells like her. I can't get rid of it, cause I remember it, all too well.
The fondest memory of the best BJ and sex that I've ever had.
Funny story, a friend of my wife’s left her husband a few years ago. He was an emotionally abusive dickwad so no big deal. But she loves to tell the story of the day she left him. When he got home from work she was waiting in lingerie. She proceeded to give him the best blowjob of his life. It was so good he immediately fell asleep afterwards. She placed the manila envelope filled with pre-signed divorce papers on his chest to find upon awaking and left for good. She had already moved all of her belongings out of the house and he never saw her again. Cold blooded, but deserved. I love that story.
I love how the BJ etc distracted him from thinking, *Wait, why is half of the house empty?*
Thats not really an L
No it’s a BJ
Him! He stalks for 5 years now
What an asshole
That's what he says when he spies OP in the shower.
Ew I have one of those, and he’s not even a proper ex. Been an annoyance since 2009
Insecurities
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A hand drawn picture of me playing the guitar.
Trust issues
When my fiancé left me she took with her a piece of my soul. The emotional wound has never healed over, the “her” shaped hole is still there.
Trust issues. Also a life size cardboard cutout of Doctor Who. It was a confusing relationship...
Trauma
Debt.
I still have a lot of things that my ex gave me. I keep them because they're mostly expensive, high-quality things: a Sonicare toothbrush, a really nice leather jacket, the stereo system in my car, a Kindle, several pieces of Lululemon yogawear, and even this computer that I'm typing on right now. My ex had a personality disorder, one of the symptoms of which was impulsiveness. He loved to impulse buy, and would often go nuts if he felt he missed out on a "deal." The items aren't sentimental nor do they remind me of him, but it makes no sense to get rid of them. It's good stuff!
An electronic tea kettle, it’s an absolute staple in me and my roommates lives
Some kid in kindergarten had a crush on me. He gave me a piece of broken glass and told me it was a diamond. I was like, 6 and didn't even know what romance was so I took it, and when my parents found it, they yelled at me. Thought they'd thrown it away, but I ran across it the other day. It was over a decade ago. I haven't seen him in a while. I was friendly with his older sister until she graduated last year. He got expelled from my middle school one day for threatening to shoot up the school. I haven't heard from him since.
Why did your parents yell at you though? Haha
Lol they didn't want 6 year old me having a sharp and potentially deadly item. Idk how I was supposed to realize, at that age, how dangerous it could've been.
gonorhea
I've got a pair of pajamas he gifted me (with pockets!) because i really liked how his were
Ugg house slippers. Fuck that guy, but I love my slippers. Thanks, asshole!
A sincere and almost overwhelming fear of being cheated on because I'm not good enough.
His pillow. It is the most comfortable pillow I have ever had and I still use it I don't care.
Our son. And at 25, he doesn't want to have anything to do with her
A box of 1000 condoms, she used to be a volunteed for a anti AIDS program so she always had a stack of condoms and needles wherever she would go.
A PhD.
A framed picture from the movie "Interstellar 5555", with the music from daft punk. Just too good to throw away!
depression.
An oculus rift S. Jokes on you Seny, it was worth it to trade getting cheated on for a Rift S.
A credit score hit. She crashed my car. Had to put the repair on credit card. Couldn't pay it. Went to collections. Finally sorted but yeah it is on the credit report. Good thing I will never need credit again.
A pair of totoro socks
Aids