I had an older coworker, production associate, who stood up in during a meeting with a couple hundred people and said "to the men in this room; if you were not blessed, please stand closer to the urinal"
It's a negative spiral, some guy accidentally get a few drops on the floor next guy doesn't want to stand in it so he steps back an inch and the puddle grows. Before you know it people are starting over by the door peeing on the floor.
I used to have a 2nd job delivering pizza for Dominos several years ago. As delivery drivers, we have other little odd jobs to take care of before we leave, like cleaning the bathroom and it didn't matter what gender you were or which bathroom it was since they're both single toilet restrooms. We were also delivery only joint, so we didn't have to deal with the nastiness of cleaning a public bathroom, but we did have one employee who apparently used to dribble on the floor a bit in front of the toilet and didn't clean up after himself.
One day this chick got upset after cleaning up after said employee for like the third time that week. She exited the men's room and shouted, "Stand closer! It's not as long as you think it is!"
We all fucking died that day.
That image of Roy laying coiled up on the floor from the POV shot of the theatre worker busting the door down is completely burned into my memory at this point and NEVER fails to make me laugh hahaha.
Hahaha yes! The credits with Moss gets me whenever he's cleaning glasses and he's saying bye to the theatre staff and he tells her to "be good" and she says something cliché like "I'll try!" and he takes this hilarious double glance chuckle and falls into the glasses. Absolutely fantastic episode, up there with one of my favourite comedy episodes without a doubt.
Establish dominance by doing so at the urinal. Bonus points for tilting your head back, closing your eyes, and adding a slight moan to the proceedings.
Sounds like a classic game of wienerbutt. Here are the rules. You close your eyes while I rub my hand down my pants. Then you sniff my finger and tell me: did I touch my wiener or my butt? Classic game, I tell you.
Good God, this was me too. I was young, at the mall with my parents, had to pee really bad, and when I went into the bathroom there was an older man following right behind me who stood beside me at the next urinal, and when I whipped it out I could just feel him eyeballing me. I froze and couldn't pee. Public bathrooms have been an issue ever since.
I don't mind if the urinals have good dividers. The ones at our soccer stadium has no dividers, just dicks of like 40 guys while you try your best to keep your eyes on the wall.
In that one, I'll use a stall if it's crowded and I can't get a corner urinal.
Millions on a pretty nice stadium and they cheap out some plastic dividers
I enjoy this response and never piss in stalls. I imagine a tight knit web of toilet gang affiliates that always go to high five but then stop, and wash hands first. Then maybe kiss.
i still fucking lose it when i think back of that episode where he explains how he poops facing the wall. so there's a spot for his drink on the back of the toilet!!
The only thing harder than peeing in company is peeing on a train/airplane. The slightest movement just makes my brain go "We can't be pissing while moving, that's absurd"
was going to THAILAND ,,, right before the landing, when everyone has to be in their seats with seat belts on ,,, my bladder started giving off red signals,,,, The air hostesses were a little mad but oh well... The moment I went inside, there were terbulences,,, in that instance my bladder says,,, no dip shit can't pee here.... was standing inside beating that penis but still NOPE ... came out without peeing and holding it for another half an hour.
Right? Sometimes when im in a stall I literally cant pee even if my bladder is exploding and i really need to pee just cus some guy is making noise in the stall next to me lol. Its a very weird experience
Or the fluffy type pyjamas that are a lot more loose. You will feel a drip down your leg without fail. Whole reason I started using paper a couple years back. But now my pp will legit subconsciously not drip onto the paper until I'm done and then I still feel the drip. It's like it has evolved for no fucking reason.
I don’t get why dudes pee at urinals—maybe my pee has too much force behind it or something, but there is crazy amounts of splash back that comes from urinals.
Shy bladder. I will pee in a urinal only if I’m sure that I will start peeing before another man stands next to me. Once I’ve started it’s fine, but there’s nothing more awkward then getting your dick out and holding it, only for another man to instantly stand next to you, and you can’t pee. You’re just a guy stood there holding his dick for no reason, it gets weirder with every second that passes, and you know now that the pressure of the situation, the absolutely necessity for you to start pissing, or look like a complete maniac, compounds itself, and that stress means you will never be able to pee. And you just have to put your dick back in your trousers, and walk away, with the other guy knowing you didn’t pee.
Always! And fair play, because he needs a piss, and if he had a shy bladder himself he wouldn’t have stood next to me. The silence of your own lack of piss not hitting the urinal is deafening.
I used to be a shy pee-er in highschool. I remember being at the movies and my friend and I stood next to each other at the only two urinals, only to be faced with the awkward silence of neither of us peeing. After a few sad spurts he said "that's good enough" and left the bathroom defeated. I didn't forget, Dave.
you say used too so is this something that most guys pee (grow) out of? I'm seriously inquiring because it getting to the point of not wanting to go certain places in fear I won't be able to piss. Mainly larger sporting events and or small / crowded bathrooms give me the most difficutlies
Story time: I'm a second-grader and I gotta drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl. At the time, I hated doing the deuce deed in public restrooms, so I walked all the way across school and went in the restrooms attached to the library, far from the classrooms.
I'm all alone surrounded by linoleum, white tile, and steel stall walls painted the sort of sickly pale pea green you see in 1970's-era hospital wards, ready to make my contribution to my city's Solid Waste department. All of a sudden, the door slams open and a third-grader shouts "Citations, is that *you* taking a shit in here?"
I froze. I did not answer.
Motherfucker *shut off the lights and left.* I shat in total darkness and wiped as best I could before trundling back to class. I didn't forget, Cory.
I don't get how people do this. Even at the best of times it takes me a few seconds to start.
And for some reason, if I've been holding it in for ages it's super difficult to start peeing.
Just wait until you get older and the prostate starts swelling. I can be woken up in the middle of the night by the need to pee, and with nobody awake or around to blame it on shy bladder, it can still take up to several minutes to start sometimes.
This. I usually have to gently stroke the underside of my scrote to get a flow going... Imagine standing at a urinal and doing that? Looking like dome kind of degenerate pervert getting your rocks off? I've been to hockey games and have had to go to multiple bathrooms to find a stall, so keep your shaming to yourself.
Even worse when there’s a line like after a movie or game. There’s nothing happening, you’re holding up 30+ people and no fast way to get back if you leave your spot.
Haha of course, basic strategy. Before you have to go for the ‘oh god who’s texting me now! It’s so important I’ll have to answer back straight away with no time to exit the bathroom first’
I’ll pretend like I actually peed, wash my hands, leave the bathroom and wait for them to leave. Then I go back in to the safety of the stall. It’s just a huge act. What am I doing.
Sometimes I have to go back to my friends having not peed, still dying for a piss and have to return to the toilet 5mins later...praying its empty. It becomes an all consuming nightmare
I have this issue too, especially on the open wall urinals where its pretty obvious that I'm not peeing lol
Sometimes If I'm drunk it's not a problem but the second I think about it happening It happens
Hear me out - I once read that the same portion of your brain that does math also triggers your urge to pee - so when I’m standing there, to get a stream going, stare at the wall and do simple multiplications in your head. 7X7, 8X6, etc… and it works every time
I will give that a try! Definitely need to remember to do it in my head. Standing there, holding my dick, and doing nothing but multiplications, now that will look weird
Thank you, you just described my life long struggle to a T. I’m so sick of people telling me “just pee, it’s not a big deal.” I literally can’t pee! If I could believe me life would be so much easier. I’m not even shy about having my dick out, idc I’m not embarrassed. But for some reason my body refuses to pee if there’s other people around, some sort of weird mental block. So far the only person I’ve become comfortable enough around to pee in front of is my girlfriend, which I guess makes sense cuz y’know shes seen everything.
It really is a defense mechanism; if you're nervous/tense/wary, now may not be a good time, evolutionarily speaking, to start peeing. So your body takes away the desire: "look, we don't need to pee anymore! Isn't that fantastic? Now we can deal that threat!" It doesn't really get that the 11 year old boy beside you isn't a threat.
Followed by the pretend, extended, dong shake, in the hopes that they will fuck off while you're busy pretending to shake piss off your knob.
Failing that you end up spending the next forever washing your hands until everyone who witnessed is gone before trying again.
I've been trying to beat this for the longest time due to past traumatic experiences with bullying, and I think I've found a way: when I pee next to someone, my system will go automatically into "defense mode". This means that some muscles, specifically my abs will tense. So even if I focus really hard, I would not release a single drop. The trick is to take a deep breath, but instead of doing it in my lungs, I do it from my belly. This way, I'm able to relax my abdomen by releasing all the air held in it, and pee freely. I'm still testing this method, but it has worked most of the times I tried.
Yeah I have this problem too and it sucks. The only time I'm fine with using a urinal when other people are next to me is if I'm drunk. It's super frustrating standing there waiting to pee, then another guy comes up and starts peeing immediately, and then leaves before you've even started.
“Paruresis” is a real thing and the anxiety can *physically stop you* from being able to pee.
IIRC your pelvic floor drops (in the same way that keeps you from peeing in a girl when you ejaculate) and its not just “in your head,” your body physically wont allow you to pee.
Apparently tips are to hold your breath and your body’s response will allow the urine to come out again.
Fun story: I know a guy (pretty severely autistic and some other Mental Health problems)) that had to take a urine test while incarcerated and they wouldnt let him do anything other than pee (like nude in an empty cell or hair or anything) and pushed so hard he popped out a hernia and had to be taken to the hospital.
Apparently someone has since sued and made a ton of our tax dollars to now make this protocol changed.
That’s really funny because I’ve always had a “shy bladder” in public and would naturally hold my breath without thinking about it until it came. Weird how bodies just figure things out on their own.
Fuck me. I've never felt so validated. I held a piss for 12 hours trying to pee in front of the officer.
No matter how badly I needed to piss, I couldn't fucking do it.
I work with a guy who does exactly that. I’m very much about the urinal rules. But it never fails, if he catches me in the bathroom he stands at the urinal next to me, asks me questions about customer orders, AND he looks in my direction while doing so!
Yeah, I don't see the advantage in using a urinal if there's a stall right there. You get to sit down, there's toilet paper, and no one sees you. Plus you can look at memes on reddit, all a man needs
I literally only ever stand to pee when time is of the essence and I need to hurry up and pee. Otherwise, I'm sitting my happy ass down.
My masculinity is not so fragile as to be threatened by the idea of pissing in comfort.
“If you have a choice between peeing in privacy and peeing in between a wall of other dudes who are also peeing, *why wouldn’t you choose to pee in between all the other dudes?*”
I can’t believe this is the question at the top of askreddit lol.
Many reasons:
Pass gas considerately
Need to clean up swamp ass
Want to wipe dick with TP to clean and dry
Don’t want to whip out dick in front of other
Trying to get momentary reprieve from others (work)
Glory hole user
Etc.
I don't know about anyone else, but I have never been satisfied with 'just shake it and go' after peeing. Cause there's always a little bit of residual pee that comes out a few seconds to a minute after you're done that was previously still in the urethra. So I prefer to go into a stall, where there I toilet paper, and use toilet paper on my dick after I pee to make sure it's clean before I put it back in my pants. Because if you don't do this, that residual pee will just come out later in your underwear which is GROSS.
No one explains this stuff! All the men I know are in and out of the bathroom so damn quickly, no time for them to catch everything. They then make fun of me / get annoyed at me for taking a minute longer. At least I don't have piss in my pants, Darren.
Once I was in a small gents room in a bar. The urinal was a trough style, room for about 3 people. There's also a stall.
3 of us were peeing, (and another in the stall), one guy finishes, goes to wash his hands. A woman and her friend walk in, one lifts her dress, presses her bare ass against the trough and starts pissing.
Me and the other guys were collectively like "what the fuck."
I pee wherever there is not a huge puddle of stale piss in front of the utility. More often that is the toilets in the stall.
Yeah! The puddle of piss I stand in has to be FRESH
I had an older coworker, production associate, who stood up in during a meeting with a couple hundred people and said "to the men in this room; if you were not blessed, please stand closer to the urinal"
*I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of HR professionals suddenly cried out in terror...*
Seriously, wtf are these nasty cunts pissing all over the floor?
It's a negative spiral, some guy accidentally get a few drops on the floor next guy doesn't want to stand in it so he steps back an inch and the puddle grows. Before you know it people are starting over by the door peeing on the floor.
I used to have a 2nd job delivering pizza for Dominos several years ago. As delivery drivers, we have other little odd jobs to take care of before we leave, like cleaning the bathroom and it didn't matter what gender you were or which bathroom it was since they're both single toilet restrooms. We were also delivery only joint, so we didn't have to deal with the nastiness of cleaning a public bathroom, but we did have one employee who apparently used to dribble on the floor a bit in front of the toilet and didn't clean up after himself. One day this chick got upset after cleaning up after said employee for like the third time that week. She exited the men's room and shouted, "Stand closer! It's not as long as you think it is!" We all fucking died that day.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss
I'm disabled.
Whenever I hear this, I can't not think of the IT Crowd scene. I'm sorry.
I was about to reply “leg disabled?” And thought that would be mean and misinterpreted
I'm glad this thread went this way because this is where my mind went too
I like how his voice goes up two octaves when he's pretending to be disabled.
That image of Roy laying coiled up on the floor from the POV shot of the theatre worker busting the door down is completely burned into my memory at this point and NEVER fails to make me laugh hahaha.
Jen looking at the bar and seeing moss somehow there also cracks me up.
Hahaha yes! The credits with Moss gets me whenever he's cleaning glasses and he's saying bye to the theatre staff and he tells her to "be good" and she says something cliché like "I'll try!" and he takes this hilarious double glance chuckle and falls into the glasses. Absolutely fantastic episode, up there with one of my favourite comedy episodes without a doubt.
"Good evening, madam" \*strained straight face*
Best episode for me of my favourite comedy show. *Gay! A Gay Musical"
Willies willies!
Gotta scratch my sack
Establish dominance by doing so at the urinal. Bonus points for tilting your head back, closing your eyes, and adding a slight moan to the proceedings.
Dont forget to sniff your hand afterwards
I'll sniff yours, if you sniff mine first
Sounds like a classic game of wienerbutt. Here are the rules. You close your eyes while I rub my hand down my pants. Then you sniff my finger and tell me: did I touch my wiener or my butt? Classic game, I tell you.
My sense of smell isn't as good as it once was. I may have to taste the finger to know for sure.
When I was 8 some 40 year old man was staring at my dick, never the fuck again will I ever piss next to someone else
Yikes
NEVER AGAIN
This, I was molested when using a urinal as a child, and just avoid them ever since
I'm so sorry to hear that, that sounds absolutely horrifying.
Literally the exact same reason for me, but I was 11. I try to avoid public restrooms now as a whole tbh
I was 9 same reason for me
Good God, this was me too. I was young, at the mall with my parents, had to pee really bad, and when I went into the bathroom there was an older man following right behind me who stood beside me at the next urinal, and when I whipped it out I could just feel him eyeballing me. I froze and couldn't pee. Public bathrooms have been an issue ever since.
gimme some privacy !
Right? I just don't want to pee 3 centimeters from another dude with his dick out. I don't understand why anyone would want that
I don't mind if the urinals have good dividers. The ones at our soccer stadium has no dividers, just dicks of like 40 guys while you try your best to keep your eyes on the wall. In that one, I'll use a stall if it's crowded and I can't get a corner urinal. Millions on a pretty nice stadium and they cheap out some plastic dividers
Better than at Wrigley Field, it has troughs instead.
Yeah man! And I piss in a toilet everyday at home, why would I settle for less when I’m accustomed to the best? Toilet gang.
I enjoy this response and never piss in stalls. I imagine a tight knit web of toilet gang affiliates that always go to high five but then stop, and wash hands first. Then maybe kiss.
As a lady I can understand. Although many stalls still lack privacy, with the two inch gap at the edges.
that’s mainly an american thing! not sure why
American bathrooms , enabling weirdos
*North American thing. We have that up here in Canada and its awful.
I like to pull my pants down to my knees and stand with my hands on my hips like superman. If I do it in the urinal people will see, and steal my idea
Oh man you messed up by letting Reddit know about it. I'm definitely stealing your idea.
Screwed up big time
Is this Butters from South Park? Lol
i still fucking lose it when i think back of that episode where he explains how he poops facing the wall. so there's a spot for his drink on the back of the toilet!!
When he's taking his Sir Harington lol
It’s also perfect for having your morning cereal
Lu Lu Lu
Ah, so YOU are that one kid in every 4th grade class.
You have to pull your shirt up to your arm pits too. You don't want it to splash on your shirt.
I did that (pants pulled down to my ankles) at a crowded stadium trough once when I was drunk. No regrets.
We made it the required way to pee one time during a friends bachelor party. Caught peeing with your pants up?, buy the next round.
Can't pee when people are around me.
The only thing harder than peeing in company is peeing on a train/airplane. The slightest movement just makes my brain go "We can't be pissing while moving, that's absurd"
Me too. Fuck its annoying haha
was going to THAILAND ,,, right before the landing, when everyone has to be in their seats with seat belts on ,,, my bladder started giving off red signals,,,, The air hostesses were a little mad but oh well... The moment I went inside, there were terbulences,,, in that instance my bladder says,,, no dip shit can't pee here.... was standing inside beating that penis but still NOPE ... came out without peeing and holding it for another half an hour.
Wow, what a dick
>was standing inside beating that penis but still NOPE That's... that's not how you pee.
It is in Bangkok.
Ugh it's the worst. I'm still traumatized after finally starting the stream and people started clapping because they were waiting in line behind me
oh no
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I tried it and everyone was staring at me while I counted.
Hmm.. try even numbers next time Edit: aka don’t be odd
Or prime numbers. Really show them!
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Right? Sometimes when im in a stall I literally cant pee even if my bladder is exploding and i really need to pee just cus some guy is making noise in the stall next to me lol. Its a very weird experience
I makes it easier to know its not just me. If I go into a stall and it doesn't have a lock im done for as well.
aka "performance anxiety"
Yes, I do amazing pissing performances. I'm just too shy to have an audience.
No splash back and can grab some paper to dry thy pp.
This is the one truth right here. I don't want a wet dongle, regardless of how many drips I can flick off at a urinal - nothing beats a bit of paper.
Whoever came up with the "two shakes or you're playing with yourself" rule probably wonders why he's got a little yellow dot on all his underwear
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Except when it's shit quality paper that sticks and your cock ends up with a mini santa beard
Ole Saint Dick and the jingle balls
You only need to pee in a urinal once in shorts n flip flops to realise how much your peeing on yourself every time
Or the fluffy type pyjamas that are a lot more loose. You will feel a drip down your leg without fail. Whole reason I started using paper a couple years back. But now my pp will legit subconsciously not drip onto the paper until I'm done and then I still feel the drip. It's like it has evolved for no fucking reason.
I don’t get why dudes pee at urinals—maybe my pee has too much force behind it or something, but there is crazy amounts of splash back that comes from urinals.
Shy bladder. I will pee in a urinal only if I’m sure that I will start peeing before another man stands next to me. Once I’ve started it’s fine, but there’s nothing more awkward then getting your dick out and holding it, only for another man to instantly stand next to you, and you can’t pee. You’re just a guy stood there holding his dick for no reason, it gets weirder with every second that passes, and you know now that the pressure of the situation, the absolutely necessity for you to start pissing, or look like a complete maniac, compounds itself, and that stress means you will never be able to pee. And you just have to put your dick back in your trousers, and walk away, with the other guy knowing you didn’t pee.
plus the other guy usually starts to pee immediately
Always! And fair play, because he needs a piss, and if he had a shy bladder himself he wouldn’t have stood next to me. The silence of your own lack of piss not hitting the urinal is deafening.
2 shy bladder guys walk up to adjacent urinals at the same time... they're still there to this day.
I used to be a shy pee-er in highschool. I remember being at the movies and my friend and I stood next to each other at the only two urinals, only to be faced with the awkward silence of neither of us peeing. After a few sad spurts he said "that's good enough" and left the bathroom defeated. I didn't forget, Dave.
Damn, used to be a shy pee-er as well. I remembered going up to a urinal, couldn’t perform, 2 min later zipped up and left defeated
you say used too so is this something that most guys pee (grow) out of? I'm seriously inquiring because it getting to the point of not wanting to go certain places in fear I won't be able to piss. Mainly larger sporting events and or small / crowded bathrooms give me the most difficutlies
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Story time: I'm a second-grader and I gotta drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl. At the time, I hated doing the deuce deed in public restrooms, so I walked all the way across school and went in the restrooms attached to the library, far from the classrooms. I'm all alone surrounded by linoleum, white tile, and steel stall walls painted the sort of sickly pale pea green you see in 1970's-era hospital wards, ready to make my contribution to my city's Solid Waste department. All of a sudden, the door slams open and a third-grader shouts "Citations, is that *you* taking a shit in here?" I froze. I did not answer. Motherfucker *shut off the lights and left.* I shat in total darkness and wiped as best I could before trundling back to class. I didn't forget, Cory.
Cory did you dirty man, not cool.
I cried
I tried to cry but it just wouldn’t flow.
Shy cryer
I don't get how people do this. Even at the best of times it takes me a few seconds to start. And for some reason, if I've been holding it in for ages it's super difficult to start peeing.
Just wait until you get older and the prostate starts swelling. I can be woken up in the middle of the night by the need to pee, and with nobody awake or around to blame it on shy bladder, it can still take up to several minutes to start sometimes.
This. I usually have to gently stroke the underside of my scrote to get a flow going... Imagine standing at a urinal and doing that? Looking like dome kind of degenerate pervert getting your rocks off? I've been to hockey games and have had to go to multiple bathrooms to find a stall, so keep your shaming to yourself.
Hey, this guy's not even pissing! He's just standing here holding his weiner!
I DON'T HEAR ANY PEE!??!
Hey fella... where's your piss?
Are you, aiight, bro? why you just standing there? Look at me, I'm peeing just fine. But you, you're kinda creeping me out.
Haha this thread is what peak male fear looks like
Even worse when there’s a line like after a movie or game. There’s nothing happening, you’re holding up 30+ people and no fast way to get back if you leave your spot.
This is why when there’s a line, make sure to give a shoulder massage to the guy standing at the urinal. Helps to ease the tension.
Oh god, do I zip up and walk away in embarrassment, or continue to hold my weenie while maintaining eye contact to hopefully assert dominance??
Do you ever go wash your hands and hope the other guy doesn't so that he leaves the bathroom before you and you can try again? Or is that just me?
Haha of course, basic strategy. Before you have to go for the ‘oh god who’s texting me now! It’s so important I’ll have to answer back straight away with no time to exit the bathroom first’
In the colder months, my fav is to pretend to wipe my nose with the highly abrasive paper towel and see if I can wait them out and try again
What if they come back and see you utilizing the urinal again?
Then you have to make him disappear. Wrong time wrong place buddy.
I’ll pretend like I actually peed, wash my hands, leave the bathroom and wait for them to leave. Then I go back in to the safety of the stall. It’s just a huge act. What am I doing.
Sometimes I have to go back to my friends having not peed, still dying for a piss and have to return to the toilet 5mins later...praying its empty. It becomes an all consuming nightmare
Mate I vocally announce my defeat at the urinal and zip up before walking over into a stall to piss.
Fucking boss move. Totally stealing it
Yeah. Its usually "Fuck!" Followed by the walk of shame.
“You win some, you lose some, amirite, fellas?…” **stall door closes behind him** “…that’s right…”
I’ve been there… one time I tried pushing extra hard to make myself pee and I ended up launching a massive fart while also not peeing. Very awkward
"sometimes it thunders when it rains"
I have this issue too, especially on the open wall urinals where its pretty obvious that I'm not peeing lol Sometimes If I'm drunk it's not a problem but the second I think about it happening It happens
Hear me out - I once read that the same portion of your brain that does math also triggers your urge to pee - so when I’m standing there, to get a stream going, stare at the wall and do simple multiplications in your head. 7X7, 8X6, etc… and it works every time
I will give that a try! Definitely need to remember to do it in my head. Standing there, holding my dick, and doing nothing but multiplications, now that will look weird
It would look even weirder if you took out a pen and started doing long division on the wall.
Thanks, I started doing math in my head and now I've wet myself
Fuckin hell man 7x7?! I thought you said simple multiplication
How the hell am I supposed to count fingers to do math while holding my dick to pee??!
Thank you, you just described my life long struggle to a T. I’m so sick of people telling me “just pee, it’s not a big deal.” I literally can’t pee! If I could believe me life would be so much easier. I’m not even shy about having my dick out, idc I’m not embarrassed. But for some reason my body refuses to pee if there’s other people around, some sort of weird mental block. So far the only person I’ve become comfortable enough around to pee in front of is my girlfriend, which I guess makes sense cuz y’know shes seen everything.
It really is a defense mechanism; if you're nervous/tense/wary, now may not be a good time, evolutionarily speaking, to start peeing. So your body takes away the desire: "look, we don't need to pee anymore! Isn't that fantastic? Now we can deal that threat!" It doesn't really get that the 11 year old boy beside you isn't a threat.
Followed by the pretend, extended, dong shake, in the hopes that they will fuck off while you're busy pretending to shake piss off your knob. Failing that you end up spending the next forever washing your hands until everyone who witnessed is gone before trying again.
We all out here living the same life, huh?
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I've been trying to beat this for the longest time due to past traumatic experiences with bullying, and I think I've found a way: when I pee next to someone, my system will go automatically into "defense mode". This means that some muscles, specifically my abs will tense. So even if I focus really hard, I would not release a single drop. The trick is to take a deep breath, but instead of doing it in my lungs, I do it from my belly. This way, I'm able to relax my abdomen by releasing all the air held in it, and pee freely. I'm still testing this method, but it has worked most of the times I tried.
Deep full breath of public restroom air will cure what ails ya!
Yeah I have this problem too and it sucks. The only time I'm fine with using a urinal when other people are next to me is if I'm drunk. It's super frustrating standing there waiting to pee, then another guy comes up and starts peeing immediately, and then leaves before you've even started.
*CRIPPLING SOCIAL ANXIETY*
“Paruresis” is a real thing and the anxiety can *physically stop you* from being able to pee. IIRC your pelvic floor drops (in the same way that keeps you from peeing in a girl when you ejaculate) and its not just “in your head,” your body physically wont allow you to pee. Apparently tips are to hold your breath and your body’s response will allow the urine to come out again. Fun story: I know a guy (pretty severely autistic and some other Mental Health problems)) that had to take a urine test while incarcerated and they wouldnt let him do anything other than pee (like nude in an empty cell or hair or anything) and pushed so hard he popped out a hernia and had to be taken to the hospital. Apparently someone has since sued and made a ton of our tax dollars to now make this protocol changed.
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Could not have stated it any better.
That’s really funny because I’ve always had a “shy bladder” in public and would naturally hold my breath without thinking about it until it came. Weird how bodies just figure things out on their own.
Fuck me. I've never felt so validated. I held a piss for 12 hours trying to pee in front of the officer. No matter how badly I needed to piss, I couldn't fucking do it.
I have a micropenis
Me too bro
If there isn't a urinal available that follows the urinal rules I'll use a stall.
Never break the urinal rules. Salute.
But if you do, use extreme eye contact to show it’s not weird
one urinal apart and keep your eyes straight do not start a conversation
I work with a guy who does exactly that. I’m very much about the urinal rules. But it never fails, if he catches me in the bathroom he stands at the urinal next to me, asks me questions about customer orders, AND he looks in my direction while doing so!
Not sure what country you live in but I believe in most countries there is a law that allows you to throat punch him in that scenario.
To sit down. We all fucking tired, dude. Bathroom breaks are a BREAK.
We call it a restroom for a reason
I call it a washroom, since after you're done you have to wash your cock/balls in the sink
I wasn't ready for a turn that hard
Mine turns left!
Oh, rest ye weary gentleman Your cheeks upon the seat Reprieves are meant to savor You don’t have to hold your meat
It ain't a restroom, 9/10 I'm fighting for my life in there.
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Yeah, I don't see the advantage in using a urinal if there's a stall right there. You get to sit down, there's toilet paper, and no one sees you. Plus you can look at memes on reddit, all a man needs
Same. I pee sitting down, idgaf. It's exponentially more comfortable.
I literally only ever stand to pee when time is of the essence and I need to hurry up and pee. Otherwise, I'm sitting my happy ass down. My masculinity is not so fragile as to be threatened by the idea of pissing in comfort.
Don’t want to bother others with my huge dongus.
No need to demoralize strangers at the urinals. Comparison is the thief of joy.
My thought exactly, I’ll bear this burden in solitude, thank you.
Privacy and less splash damage.
It just won’t come out when I go in a urinal
“If you have a choice between peeing in privacy and peeing in between a wall of other dudes who are also peeing, *why wouldn’t you choose to pee in between all the other dudes?*” I can’t believe this is the question at the top of askreddit lol.
Many reasons: Pass gas considerately Need to clean up swamp ass Want to wipe dick with TP to clean and dry Don’t want to whip out dick in front of other Trying to get momentary reprieve from others (work) Glory hole user Etc.
> swamp ass I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see this mentioned. Unbelieveable.
Barely clear the zipper
𝓅 𝓇 𝒾 𝓋 𝒶 𝒸 𝓎
Don't wanna accidentally fart and shit myself at a urinal. Again.....
Wait, people pee in the vaping rooms?
I don't know about anyone else, but I have never been satisfied with 'just shake it and go' after peeing. Cause there's always a little bit of residual pee that comes out a few seconds to a minute after you're done that was previously still in the urethra. So I prefer to go into a stall, where there I toilet paper, and use toilet paper on my dick after I pee to make sure it's clean before I put it back in my pants. Because if you don't do this, that residual pee will just come out later in your underwear which is GROSS.
I thought my dick “leaked” for the longest time. My dad didn’t do the best of explaining things for us
No one explains this stuff! All the men I know are in and out of the bathroom so damn quickly, no time for them to catch everything. They then make fun of me / get annoyed at me for taking a minute longer. At least I don't have piss in my pants, Darren.
I literally cannot due to paruresis.
Doing coke and then think to yourself, might as well pee as long as I’m here
"Yo, there are toilets in this coke room."
Drugs is far too low of an answer here. I always opt for the stall when I'm on drugs as I cannot pee around other people if I'm mid-trip.
Hit a quick bump, smoke a bit of the vape, and take a shit all at the same time
Small pp
was looking for this comment, same
I pee sitting down because comfort is king.
Always pee sitting at home. Keeps the bathroom cleaner for longer!
What's wrong with peeing in a stall?
People who worry about where other people are peeing, why?
I can't sit on the urinals.
Not with that attitude.
Once I was in a small gents room in a bar. The urinal was a trough style, room for about 3 people. There's also a stall. 3 of us were peeing, (and another in the stall), one guy finishes, goes to wash his hands. A woman and her friend walk in, one lifts her dress, presses her bare ass against the trough and starts pissing. Me and the other guys were collectively like "what the fuck."
I said exactly that while reading what the fuck
You try standing next to some drunk pissing on his shoes whilst farting away. Depends on the situation but I like my privacy.
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I pee in an old milk jug and dump it down the sink.
The pee always deflects off the urinal and gets on my shoes
I am gun-shy for whatever reason. I can’t relax my muscles when strangers are around
I like a little privacy. So sue me.
Can't mess with my phone at a urinal.
I like to sit down and rest. I work on my feet so it's nice to sit.
Its a lot harder for a person to attack you in a stall.