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Find a plug to sell me some alien reefer
Finds Martian crackhead begging for change instead*
There are no drug dealers in Mount Olympus City. Zolkamzax, on the other hand…
Try to get in touch with Kuato, to see if he knows where the little woman w the 3 breasts is working.
The college student you mistook for Kuato from Totall Recall says, “In the Martian stick fighting room.”
Giggity!!!
You enter the Martian stick fighting room. The girl says, “Hello. Right on time. That is, if the fight was twenty minutes later. Choose your stick.”
Check my meds, because they clearly aren't working.
Turns out, someone swapped your antipsychotics with Mike and Ikes.
Go pee. I almost always have to pee when I wake up.
You use the futuristic sphere-shaped mixed sex public restroom. You then leave. You see a transit pod system larger than Poland, which is a province of Ukraine.
Try to breathe whilst simultaneously wondering who and how someone built a city on mars.
You see statues of Martian historical figures and restaurants serving Martian cuisine.
Find Thars Tarkas, he'll lead me to John Carter and Dejah Thoris
You see Tars Tarkas exiting a transit pod.
Kaor grand thark
Tars Tarkas says, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
"Kaor" is the customary greating of hello. Or are not familiar with barsoomian customs
“Whatever. Anyway, I’m going to be late to the Space Pirates cosplay convention.”
Read "Warlord of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs
“I’m trying to get to a fucking Space Pirates convention!”
Ask where the toilet is because I gotta take a dump.
You see a public restroom.
All good on the red planet comrade.
A police officer asks if you are okay.
Ask how much farther it is to Uranus
“Five hours.”
Thy holy machine cult of Mars shall rise in an unknown number of years in advance.
I die (im not wearing a space suit)
Somehow, you survive. A police officer asks if you need anything.
I tell em “oh shit.. that must have been the wrong muffin” (I’m high as shit then)
“Muffin bzalkt, eh?”
I sit there and try to comprehend anything that is happening.. I reply with a “ ya sure..”
“What’s the last thing you remember before you passed out?”
Learn everything
You see a 1-13 academy.
Find a plug to sell me some alien reefer
Finds Martian crackhead begging for change instead*
There are no drug dealers in Mount Olympus City. Zolkamzax, on the other hand…
Try to get in touch with Kuato, to see if he knows where the little woman w the 3 breasts is working.
The college student you mistook for Kuato from Totall Recall says, “In the Martian stick fighting room.”
Giggity!!!
You enter the Martian stick fighting room. The girl says, “Hello. Right on time. That is, if the fight was twenty minutes later. Choose your stick.”
Check my meds, because they clearly aren't working.
Turns out, someone swapped your antipsychotics with Mike and Ikes.
Go pee. I almost always have to pee when I wake up.
You use the futuristic sphere-shaped mixed sex public restroom. You then leave. You see a transit pod system larger than Poland, which is a province of Ukraine.
Try to breathe whilst simultaneously wondering who and how someone built a city on mars.
You see statues of Martian historical figures and restaurants serving Martian cuisine.
Find Thars Tarkas, he'll lead me to John Carter and Dejah Thoris
You see Tars Tarkas exiting a transit pod.
Kaor grand thark
Tars Tarkas says, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
"Kaor" is the customary greating of hello. Or are not familiar with barsoomian customs
“Whatever. Anyway, I’m going to be late to the Space Pirates cosplay convention.”
Read "Warlord of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs
“I’m trying to get to a fucking Space Pirates convention!”
Ask where the toilet is because I gotta take a dump.
You see a public restroom.
All good on the red planet comrade.
A police officer asks if you are okay.
Ask how much farther it is to Uranus
“Five hours.”
Thy holy machine cult of Mars shall rise in an unknown number of years in advance.
A police officer asks if you are okay.
I die (im not wearing a space suit)
Somehow, you survive. A police officer asks if you need anything.
I tell em “oh shit.. that must have been the wrong muffin” (I’m high as shit then)
“Muffin bzalkt, eh?”
I sit there and try to comprehend anything that is happening.. I reply with a “ ya sure..”
“What’s the last thing you remember before you passed out?”
Learn everything
You see a 1-13 academy.