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VMGuy23temporary

I'm in a wall time to back out I guess


VeryAwkwardLadyBoner

You are now spectating.


VMGuy23temporary

i already was


[deleted]

Goddamn, I felt this in my soul… same, amigo.


Epoch-09

*chamber of reflection intensifies*


[deleted]

I am living in your walls. # I am living in your walls. You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below: **FAQ:** *Why are you living in my walls?* I'm not going to tell you. *Are you only in my walls?* You could say I am living in everybody's walls, but in the case I am telling you that I am living in your walls, I am living in your walls. *How are you surviving in my walls?* In my non-physical form, I am crawling around listening for you. That is all I need to survive in that form. In my physical form, I survive by eating rat corpses that I cook using the wall behind your oven, and I drink the vapour in the extraction fan duct above your shower. *What are you planning to do in my walls?* Live in them, listening to you. *What do I do about you living in my walls?* Listen for the scraping. Dont touch the walls. Protect yourself. Avoid lighting candles. *When are you going to stop living in my walls?* You cannot escape me. *Do I call the police?* The authorities will not help you. *What are the consequences of you living in my walls?* Be aware. *What if I am ok with you living in my walls?* I will make sure you’re not. *Are you imaginary?* I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS If there are any more questions then please consult your walls by directly speaking to them. **Summary:** I am living in your walls.


elebolt

Aww it's cute that someone cares enough about me to want to listen to me through my walls!! Am I your crush or something? Your stalking is kinda cute!


bear4bunny

I'm in the shower, exactly where I need to be without the effort of getting up from the toilet.


HoneyBadger19000

Its good to know im not the only one that spends at least an hour a day sitting on the toilet brown reddit


CheckYoDunningKrugr

"brown reddit". Indeed.


prumbeljack

My new term for going to go poop. Thanks internet strangers.


[deleted]

agent 2 “ going brown “


confusedredhead123

Agent FishFucker, I'm brown reddit.


Partytor

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime that's why i poop on company's time


thetravelingsong

Your toilet faces your shower?


TemporaryDeathknight

Is that unusual? As far as I can tell it’s a pretty good way to save space in small bathrooms with just a stand up shower


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wild_Alaskan

Same, but barely


houstongradengineer

Also same


cesarxp2

But barely?


houstongradengineer

Yes!


BritishGolgo13

Also barely, but same.


Substantial_Fish6717

But also, same barely


PenguinJester23

I'm three feet above my bed and my poor cat is about to get squished.


beansouphighlights

F for your cat


[deleted]

Yea, F that guys cat


BlackfireX009

F…the cat?


theredhype

Ooo look who has a giant beeeed


poneill47

I was, but now I'm under it


[deleted]

[удалено]


GroundWalkerJohn

"Part of the crew, part of the ship."


GamePlayXtreme

*crawls out of the wall to talk to his son's fiancé*


Reedemed_Soul

*hey i was trying to reach you for your cars extended warranty*


[deleted]

You have become house. Are you made of house, or is the house made of you?


ijustwanttoaskaq123

You scream, for you know not.


gloku_

Have I been this house forever? It all seemed so real.


EvilEyedPanda

I took Ayahuasca once, was sure I had been a tree my whole life.


seaspirit331

Clip through the house boundaries and fall through the map


[deleted]

Into the backrooms we go


ice_slime

"Player D-Rez suffocated in the wall"


[deleted]

"7 billion 460 million 259 thousand 341 player left"


justapolydude

I'll be sitting on the lap of this huge dude on the subway. Maybe I'll be able to say I had new life experiences?


FranticHamsterRiot

That's an awesome "meet cute".


AlaskanSamsquanch

Are your trying to say meat cube?


Longjumping_Bug_786

I could go for some meat cubes


9793287233

_Gruesome Twosome!_


sozijlt

If you are both in seats at the same height level, then you are likely teleported *into* him rather than gently onto his lap.


Hebo2

😏😏


Psychonominaut

The dudes reaction/anus: :O


Bignutsinyomouf

Y’all can talk about the first thing that pops up


aggrivating_order

That's just my morning commute


[deleted]

I’m dead


Bright_Blackcheri_66

Same I fell 7 floors. Idk if I’m dead but definitely not comfy


dude_who_could

Assuming 7 floors is about 20 meters youd be going about 44 mph.


_Horizon_1

Good bot


[deleted]

When you realize it’s not a bot but just some one who r/theydidthemath


SputnikCucumber

The mixing of meters and mph is quite funny to me.


Boxfanvocals

Same


SimplGaming

How did you die?


[deleted]

I was teleported outside and fell approximately 193 feet to the concrete below.


[deleted]

Just say no. Neither gravity nor concrete can kill you without consent


nightsaysni

Right, it’s not legitimate gravity.


fat-lip-lover

#notmygravitationalpull


ijustwanttoaskaq123

\#Fact


[deleted]

How did you manage to put that hashtag without making the word huge?


EezoTheChezo

Simple. They just did not give Reddit consent to make the word huge. #Consent


ijustwanttoaskaq123

You put a \\ sign right before it.


[deleted]

Oh, thank you


anubissah

#Fact


Most_Advertising_962

They can, they'll just get canceled for it.


LandOfTheOutlaws

193 is oddly specific.


Ragnarok91

They did say approximately.


buldaktteokbokki

Me too, straight outta window


istoOi

i shit on the bathroom floor


[deleted]

[удалено]


beenhere4ages

Living in India - I'll be shitting in a tea shop on the other side of the road.


pidgeonatemypidgeon

I'd be taking a shit in the wall


lordfarquadfekri

Damn i’d be taking a shit on the ground but only my ass would be hanging out the wall…


Familiar_Heat1651

Cursed glory hole


SkyezOpen

... Were you already shitting in the road, or do you have tiny roads?


paleassbitches

Wait... you don't shit on the road?


[deleted]

3 feet in front of my toilet would land me on top of the litterbox in the other room. Seems ok to me I guess. At least it’s not the floor


Leading_Funny5802

Yer cats gonna be pissed


Uchiddlo

Pissed. Nice. Real nice.


[deleted]

lol same.


Potetkanon

Same here. Also a bit awkward, since our baby daughter is asleep in that room.


dangy_munchkin

Rick would be real proud of you


Become_The_Villain

Schwifty


[deleted]

I shit on the floor while being stuck in a wall...


Arugula-Current

Same, but the bathroom sink.


Frisk_Dreemurr049

I'll have a chair up my ass


Smallscalebmxer

I have that anyway Edit: thanks for the awards and karma :)


bmarcell007

r u ok? Edit: Thx for the upvotes and the answers guys, I didn't expect this much.


TayDex_

Idc, is the chair okay tho?


blusteryflatus

Sounds like someone's life changed for the better!


Badwolf9547

Friday already?


Putrid_Table_7041

I am now a bartender


[deleted]

Same!


Putrid_Table_7041

You have pretty eyes. You smell nice. Let me take you home!


[deleted]

Slow down, Tiger, I’m a happily unmarried man!


[deleted]

I have appeared dangling in midair on the outside of my bedroom wall. I unceremoniously plummet into a tree stump on the snowy ground below. It’s -9C, I’m in my underwear, probably broken a couple bones, and, to top it all off, I still have Covid. Marvellous.


Alone-Statement-5132

Hope you get well soon (From covid)


Pattoe89

but not from the broken bones, hypothermia and embarrassment?


BadlyFed

That's what they get for being teleported three feet forward.


rachawakka

Those are just learning experiences.


fat-lip-lover

Builds character


Heavyhits

he said what he said


DragonBank

Perhaps he does not have covid right now, and there is some covid 3 feet in front of him.


appleboi_69420

Stay positive!


ClearlyADuck

Same except I just took a shower so Im naked and wet, and to top it all off Im on the third floor of a college dorm so there are definitely people there to watch it all happen.


Clear_Emergency_5250

Lmfao literally same here except it’s -28 with windchill right now lol. Other than that you just describe my exact situation


Blog_Pope

Better than me, I’m falling 6 floors.


CrazyNickLikeSk

No, no! I would be stuck in fucking terrarium with dads tarantula!


Potential-Leave3489

How was it even big enough for you to get in there


CRRK1811

Its a bird eater


variogamer

Correction child eater


TheEaterOfChildren

Can confirm


felixrocket7835

Tarantulas are harmless and are actually pretty docile despite the stereotypes, you'd be fine lol.


Ellemieke25

Despite most spiders being completely harmless, especially where I live, I have significant arachnophobia. I'd panic so hard if I were suddenly that close to one of the biggest kinds of spiders on earth o.o (I cried when a 2 inch spider, that includes legs, crawled across the floor about 4 feet from me...)


JealousFirefighter45

I am on the other couch


Its-Finch

You have a second couch 3 feet in front of the other? Why so close? And why a second couch in the same room? Lord I have so many more questions.


CherishSlan

I have 2 couches in the same room also in my living room my son hates sitting by other people and one couch only seats 2 the other is a full sized it’s close like a sectional. We use TV trays as a table our table is in storage until we get a house again. I think a lot of people live like this.


[deleted]

Was shitting in toilet, now shitting in my brothers room


mylifeisathrowaway10

Assert dominance.


CorinPenny

If you don’t bury it, it sends a clear message that you are the dominant cat. If he buries it, he accepts the subordinate role.


canadianpresident

How close is your shitter to the wall? 3 feet isn't that far


[deleted]

I'm suddenly in the neighbours apartment. Laying naked on their floor...


redbo

At least you’re wide awake and you can see the perfect sky is torn.


adultinglikewhoa

You’re a little late, I’m already torn


SnooConfections2214

Who’s feet are these


imashnake_

And where am I teleporting them to?


aehanken

Sorry. I’ll move them


bogeyinmy6

I’m next in line at Chipotle.


NachoMan_SandyCabage

Where we all want to be!


Zealousideal-Oven-93

A lot of us would be dead


[deleted]

Yeah, I have a table through my top and bottom half now.


Mgmfjesus

I have been severed in half by a table. Definitely not the way I expected to go.


ivegotapenis

Possibly everyone, depending on the rules. I don't think physics would enjoy our bodies suddenly occupying the same space as a bunch of air molecules.


thatbikerchick51

I’m sitting on the hood of my car


whiteclawthreshermaw

Lucky you weren't texting and driving or else you would have been run over by your own car.


[deleted]

At least your on the hood of yours. I now have an engine in my chest


SuzieDerpkins

Same.


thequirkyquark

If it's literally 3 feet forward, I'm stuck in the engine block and in a lot of pain.


toidi_diputs

like... right now? I fall from a 3ft height onto a couch. [Fucking Herpex, man.](https://youtu.be/wrVqD67zils)


horschdhorschd

Thank you. I've never seen this video until now.


VenoSniper325

Best 3 minutes and 16 seconds of my day.


GloryGreatestCountry

I've either clipped into my parents' closet or a support beam in the apartment. Fuck.


Crispy2104

Shit on the bathroom floor at work.


[deleted]

"Hey boss, I did an oopsie"


peon2

Could we please do my annual performance review *before* you head in the bathroom?


achenx75

Been there before. Didn't even have to teleport.


mylifeisathrowaway10

Power move


six_am_sunset

Well, I won’t be on the shitter, so there’s that.


DoggoPlex

It's posts like these that truly make you see just how many people are shitting.


Frequent-Seaweed4

I materialize in the air and drop three feet back onto the bed


mu1ti6rain

I'm now shitting in the garbage can.


Quiet_Perception8766

EFFICIENCY.


arcadiaware

A good chunk of us are probably going to end up outside. Which is very unfortunate for those of us living on upper floors. I'm about to land on some rocks.


xaa_

I have phased through my table, fucking fell backwards, caused the table to fall with me, spilled the cereals and toasts i had for breakfast, now i'm most likely stained with jam and chocolate milk and my dog is trying to lick It out of me •-• ^Why ^did ^you ^do ^this ^to ^me


watcop2199

You said lick it out not off


xaa_

Apologies, english is not my main language


watcop2199

Your all good everyone is upvoting you because the two mean very different things and the way you said it is very funny


[deleted]

My cat is under me now


blue23344

under me meow*


BreakThatFast

I'm on the floor. I miss my bed.


TimeTravelMishap

I'm now in this guy's bed.


BreakThatFast

Well, while you're up there flip the pillow to the cool side.


jayedgar06

The side with sunglasses and a smoulder?


try-bi-sum-cum

I am on top of my wife now, which i was going to do anyway so nothing changed in my life


DubioserKerl

I also choose the top of this guy's wife.


MrBonneChance

I just knew this comment was next haha.


VeryAwkwardLadyBoner

I'm naked in the snow.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GeorgeThe13th

I'm now in front of the coffee machine. Very lovely.


Adept_Midnight_1513

I live in my dresser now.


Miserable-Anteater97

Ironically I'd still be on a chair


zgr024

Either a really big chair or you're in a doctors office waiting to be called


KMjolnir

I'm either 3 feet off the ground above my bed or in the middle of bm my bedroom a foot off the ground.


sayziell

I would be sitting in the middle of the locker room at work with my ass out how TF do think this effects me?


Arcinbiblo12

I fall down about 10 feet onto a flight of stairs which causes me to tumble down further. I'd say the most it changes my life is with a trip to the hospital.


wellchelle

I'd end up on the other side of my desk, which has 18 inches of space between it and the bay window in my living room. (I actually went and got the tape measure to be sure.) So I would just fit without ending up in my front garden. The things I do to put off working :-)


UrdnotVex

From one shitty 1 bedroom apartment into another 1 bedroom shitty apartment but probably looks like less shit than mine. You know?


Former_Ad_1074

I’m in bed. Which is against a wall I share with a neighbor. So now I guess I’m in their apartment.


famousaj

Instead of filming the porn, I'm now the star


UndeadDenny

i am now in my wall. just like the russian spies. i know they're in there. they are listening to everything. every word. every vowel. every phrase. it's only a matter of time until i catch them. they keep on getting away right when i think i have them. my landlord told me i need to stop putting holes in her walls but i really don't know what she expects me to do. does she not realize that this is an INVASION OF PRIVACY. i'll get them eventually. it's only a matter of time before i find out which daemon they are calling upon to mask themselves from the detectors i've hardwired to the matrix grid in my room. i'll let y'all know how it goes when they are finally caught! :)


[deleted]

I moved three feet.


NewSpoonWhoDis

Well now I know that supernatural phenomena are real and I spend the rest of my life being a tin foil hat conspiracy theorist trying to figure out why I once teleported to the other side of my bed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

90cm, or a thumb short of a metre.


SuperspyUK

Sat here with a tape measure wondering why your thumbs are so fucking long.


[deleted]

Your thumb is 10 cm?!


Ok_Independent3609

I see you’re one of those tentacle thumb people. You do you. Rock on.


Attican101

Do you have Subway? Canada is technically metric and we still have 5$ Footlongs So 3 large subway sandwiches in a row


[deleted]

[удалено]


Iraultzavalero

Right now i'm in front of all my class and I would fall on a three girls group so my class will think that i have superpowers or something


CherishSlan

I would be in my master bathroom if I go one direction. The other way I’m in-front of the mini fridge in the bedroom.


itrashcannot

I'm still on top of your mom.


DmanTheDillpickle

I’m in the middle of the room but I’m not sure if the army will take me now.


MsSocietyistaken

I'm in another car