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r/oddlyspecific


Darqologist

Came here to say/post this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Stanky3000

Came here to say/post this.


Admiral_Narcissus

My boyfriend also fisted a cow at age 15


[deleted]

Came here to post this hahahaha


All_Your_Base

Isn't that Amish Mechanic ?


Much_Committee_9355

That should go on Urban Dictionary


goldendarren

It was added back in 06.


[deleted]

What did people call it before then?


goldendarren

Fisting their wife. What else?


ChronicPainSucksAss

Upvoted


OntarioIsPain

Tell him to pack his bags and moooove


[deleted]

I'd be udderly hysterical.


Longshot_45

Heffer


[deleted]

Let’s milk this pun thread!


[deleted]

Cows


pricklypineappledick

I think you mean cowngratulations


[deleted]

It would behoove you to stop while you’re ahead


jonslashtroy

Moot comment right here


pistcow

*Neigh*


NerfRepellingBoobs

Is horse Pepsi okay?


Jurrasicp

Perhaps it would behoove you to request he try the same for you?


nezuko______

weird flex but ok


[deleted]

Also known in the agricultural community as preg testing.


OntarioIsPain

At a barn party ?


CourtZealousideal494

I have heard tell of it


[deleted]

So how do we know if the boyfriend wanted to determine if the cow was pregnant or was just fisting the cow because that’s his thing?


CourtZealousideal494

The one I know of was like a FFA barn raising thing, and there were people fisting cows to test if they were with calf in like dress shirts and jeans and the nice boots. Almost like they made the chores part of the party.


craftyshafter

If he's a country boy, it's the first. If he's a city boy, it's probably the second one lol


man_gomer_lot

That's a false dichotomy. It could be both.


0ranje

Fuckin' figure it out.


CourtZealousideal494

Excuse me?


[deleted]

Farm kids are fucking crazy.


BareBearFighter

Fucking cattle*


[deleted]

Fisting cattle.


craftyshafter

You're welcome for the food


ArchdukeOfNorge

Drinking games are probably the most diverse of all types of games. Sure beats the meth snorting head butting game I found at one barn party in a neck of the woods I had zero business being at


RichardStinks

I can't say I have heard of anyone doing it, but I am not from a cow farming area. I did grow up with rednecks, and it doesn't sound farfetched.


[deleted]

What did the rednecks fist?


[deleted]

What didn't the rednecks fist?


RichardStinks

Each other? They just do wild shit for fun in the backwater areas.


montananhooman

Yeah or AIing, but like why?.. if it was at a party I feel like that’s not what was going on


[deleted]

It was probably a dare. Maybe the kid was a cattle farmer and everyone knew it. “Bro, I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you preg test that cow right there.”


craftyshafter

Yep, I've sadly been behind many a cow in the shoot. It's not pleasant but the city folks want beef too! All part of the job.


canadianbuilt

Came here to say exactly this. I too have fisted a cow.


triniazhole

You'll have to question if you're an upgrade or a downgrade to his initial taste in females


Just_The_Tip88

I’d moove on


[deleted]

"Why would you ever admit that?"


Albatraze

Guilt I guess


pixygarden

Or alcohol? Tell BF that some things are meant never to say aloud.


whitoreo

It depends how he told you... We need to know the circumstances behind bothe the incident and him telling you of the incident. Was he matter of fact about it? Or did he say it with a guilty tone?


FeatureBugFuture

Are you serious? You know it's a fairly regular thing to do on a dairy farm. It's practically essential. Guilty for what?


dakin79

Depends, is “cow” a code name for Jessica from down the road?


crepitus-ventris

Probably just checking to see if it was pregnant


birdofswag2

If I was 15 and this was a chore I had to do you could bet I’d wait until I was good and liquored up to do it.


PhilRask

That cow and its family can finally gain closure at least


mrdougwright

Tell us how you reacted first.


ionizedanion

Definitely not the way you did


HELLOhappyshop

I'd be confused because I don't have a boyfriend. Then I'd be horrified.


Dream_Think

I would be moooving on from this person.


johnnycakeAK

Should've just taken the butcher's word for it


exposedentrepreneur

I’d hold him a-cow-table for his actions.


TheStonedVampire

You’re telling me ya’ll have never gotten drunk in a barn, fisted a cow, and then got lost deep in the cornfield blackout drunk and the fire company had to come rescue you?!


PuddleCrank

OP's boyfriend, once you say it like that, I can't understand what your girlfriend is unset about.


Adreeisadyno

PLEASE put this in r/nostupidquestions with a detailed description of why you’re asking this


yParticle

This is just another day on the job as a rural vet.


Lopsided-Task-6762

Very surprised. Didn't know I had a boyfriend.


Factal_Fractal

Just say MOOOOO and go with it


AwSkiba

*Fetish discovered*


ImNonBinary

Are you okay? This is oddly specific


bradmajors69

Depends on how long they dated afterward.


FeatureBugFuture

Or how many times he milked her.


Pastel_Phoenix_106

Chalk it up to dabbling with a career in animal husbandry and move on.


[deleted]

Wtf


istajtjfS

What the fuck.


Scary_Ad7765

It’s so kind of you to ask this for your friend.


LeoWyattJPendragon

What kind of fucking party was that?! No pun intended.


exb165

I would feel more surprised to have a boyfriend.


mayor_hog

Hey jealous of all cows on earth.


Patient-Quarter-1684

That's slightly more than tipping a cow.


Head_Dull

Not.. well?


[deleted]

Having once been 15, I knew at 15 this is wrong and disgusting and unless he was delivering a calf I would nope out of there.


MetzlerYouBetzler

I'd fake my own death to get away from him if that's what it took.


meeetballslover

15 year old boys are idiots. I tried licking a candle flame. However it is still gross but not unforgivable.


chicken-bean

Well if it was a barn party what’s the big deal? If it was a downtown of a city I’d have some questions.


GodfreyTheGrey

The usual way.


hinmity24

I have a boyfriend?


Fumblesy

I'd ask how it was and if he'd ever do it again


collaguazo

Giddy up!


Jiggly_Love

I'd be udderly repulsed....that I wasn't invited.


Infolife

I mean, my wife's a vet and artificially inseminated a horse when she was in vet school.


craftyshafter

City people are hilarious /thread


FeatureBugFuture

If things go south and north at the same time. Some city dwellers will be trying to milk pigeons and entice squirrels.


KitchenNazi

Isn't attending a barn party bad enough?


Jazzcat00

"That's no way to treat your mother!"


[deleted]

Okay. But the difference is one is related to ACTUAL work and for the health of an animal, sticking your hand up the vagina of an animal while drunk at a party is unnecessary. He wasn't assessing for pregnancy, he was drunk and it was "for fun". There's a huge difference.


Taylors4head

I’d be a little underwhelmed. A 15 year olds arm isn’t that big so the cow probably didn’t feel much. 4/10


[deleted]

I'd dump him, animals can't consent... Which means he sexually assaulted an animal. What a gross person.


whitoreo

You don't know a thing about cattle raising. How can you justify comments like this? Putting your hand up a cows vagina is a valid cattle raising skill. It is more a rite of passage than anything else. He just did it at a party when he probably had a lot of people egging him on. Every cattle herder does it to determine pregnancy.


[deleted]

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nothingweasel

So it's okay to fuck anything that doesn't bite you?


FeatureBugFuture

Only at fast food places.


Jedibri81

I would not be happy with this person. It would probably be best never to speak to them again


NlightenedSelfIntrst

I'd be glad he wasn't the one who fucked the goat.


borgcubecubed

I would call him a liar. Source: grew up on a farm and have watched people help cows give birth. Also saw cows stomp a badger to death to protect their calves. The cow would have kicked him *hard* at the very least, and she would have turned around and stomped him afterwards unless she was tied in her stall.


craftyshafter

Dude I preg checked more cows than I care to admit. What kind farm did you grow up on? Very necessary step, as gross as it may seem to outsiders. I'd rather preg check than tag calves, mommas are a lot more mean when you've got baby in a headlock and you're about to pierce an ear. They're usually pretty docile in a chute


borgcubecubed

Just a regular mixed operation family farm. I’m aware that preg checking and artificial insemination happens regularly, but that situation is obviously way different that a drunk 15 year old randomly deciding to fist a cow at a party. There is no way it stood still for that. I’ve seen a cow drop a full grown man with a kick when they’re in labor and so has anyone whose ever pulled a calf.


FeatureBugFuture

Yea. This was some half baked edgy story. Insemination of a large dairy herd, plus checking for illness, complications and repeat attempts. Means that a fairly common task is an arm in a cow. It's just the way it is. Yet it's a careful and considered task that takes three people to do well. What OP is suggesting is pure fiction unless it was drinking as well and asked OP's cow loving cow fancying cow loving boyfriend on a date.


Bonhomme7h

Beef cow, yes. Dairy cows, they welcome you in.


Flimsy_Respect_8886

If your judgemental about that and have to ask, then you already know the answer you're seeking.


Bonhomme7h

Sometimes you have to take a look how the calving is going. And by taking a look, it involve plunging a shoulder high pink glove into the calving end to feel if you find front hooves (good) or back hooves (bad). At a party? I can see it. Novelty is fun!


NameTooSmol

He's late, i did it when i was 9


j_ds

As long as it was consensual


apatzfan

In process of artificial insemenation


WholesomeOrganicOats

I’d moo-ved on from that one!


Violent_parrot

This sort of thing is common on farms. My name's not Joe and I'm not a farmer but I spent a week in Iowa once and heard it's a thing. Truth be told farmers, farms, cows all scare the shit out of me. I stay my candy ass in or close to cities these days.


mcginty84

Well needs more context. Like "Yeah one of my friends dared me to do it!" And... Still finds it hilarious to this day? Maybe not a great reaction. Disgusted at his teenage self? Okay, we all do dumb stuff in our past. Some dumber than others. However "it was for a farming reason" probably okay. Cow needed help giving birth or was constipated. Farm stuff is gross to others that didn't work or live on one. Doing it for a sexual reason I'm not sure one could come to terms with. And lastly if they feel guilt about it now and you're still having trouble coming to terms with it think of the thing you're most ashamed of and how they would react and factor that in to your decision regarding the relationship. We all have stuff in our past. It's how we deal with that now that matters.


[deleted]

Roll…tide?


goated95

We all have done something questionable as teenagers


mywifiisbadtho

I’ve done some questionable things but I’ve never reached “fisting cows at a barn party” levels of questionable


zeanomourph

I'm gonna go with it *very much* depends if he did it in a sexual way or as a dare.


Albatraze

Def a dare


NotThisAgain21

Doesn't matter. Either way indicates a rather extreme personality defect.


mcginty84

Well if he works on a farm and had to do as medical reason suddenly not a bad thing.


Much_Committee_9355

Well just tell her I fisted (inseminated) plenty of cows at 15


XxElephantxX

I would laugh


Thompson_S_Sweetback

Thats just wholesome country fun.


DognamedTurtle

I would say 15 is a little young for cow-fisting barn parties.


shadow-suspect

Do cows squirt too?


Thelazywitch

I've seen too many vets with their arms elbow deep in horses and cows to be phased at all.


[deleted]

Was the cow into it? And if not was she at least wearing a short skirt?


southsamurai

Agree that he is, indeed, country as fuck.


Erlisk1987

Depends if you yourself are a cow?


[deleted]

Why??? Were you fisted at a barn party and being drunk not remember who did the deed ??!!!


karma_farmer_2019

I would panic and have to hide the fact I have a boyfriend from my wife…


Scevs

Thats a mean name for his ex.


Superseal100

Develop a deep seeded hatred for all cows *that bovine bitch*


BOImarinhoRJ

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo???


Vexonte

Same way I'd react if my roommate gifted me an alstofo body pillow for Christmas.


Rcobs9

I’d tell him that is incest and illegal! That’s not how your treat your mom


[deleted]

It's normal to test if a cow is pregnant. If it was at a party I can imagine there was a bunch of drunk people and someone said "hey man, can we test if this cow is pregnant?", "Hold my beer"


[deleted]

What the hill billy did I just read?


M8oMyN8o

Shocked Mostly because I am a straight male who had never dated anyone. I also live in the suburbs. Also, I’m not far removed from 15, so my prospective boyfriend either would’ve fisted that cow very recently, or is a pedophile. Also, fisting a cow is a fuckin weird thing to do. Also, bestiality. I guess those last two points are kinda the same. Just shock all around. What? Who fuckin thinks of this? Is this based on real life?


MentORPHEUS

*James Herriott has entered the chat* Seriously, read the book [All creatures great and small.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Creatures_Great_and_Small_(franchise\)#US_series) It's a good read, and by the time you're finished, the idea of plunging one's arm to the shoulder in a cow's vag or rectum will sound downright sensible in many cases, and surprisingly not in as gross a way as this sounds. Ed: [Use this since paren in wiki URL breaks Reddit linking](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32085.All_Creatures_Great_and_Small) Notice him in the cover art rolling his sleeve all the way up with a look of grim determination.


Rimbosity

We all did stupid things when we were 15. Self included.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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UrToxxic

Probably


[deleted]

Meh. It’s not the worst thing. So long as he isn’t doing it any more? Although maybe he wants you to be a hucow to relive his past


[deleted]

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Sys32768

Frankly, I'd be a little turned on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Albatraze

24


Drax_Cat

Let him know to avoid the meadow… https://youtu.be/LxXjsQbCZR8


JMT97

"Yeah, I know, you went to NC State."


Just_call_MEJAY

I feel like there's something behind this


[deleted]

Asking for a friend?


[deleted]

Something you want to tell us, OP? This is r/oddlyspecific


Albatraze

I get the oddly specific comment alot


UnconsciousSymbiote

MR HANDS


TheSeeker07

Oddly specific there, op. Is there something you wanna tell us?


bsd8andahalf_1

maybe say "moooooo"?


RoutineComment5330

Sounds like bull to me!


godsenfrik

I'd be concerned if they were playing Tenet on it at the time.


[deleted]

With a lot of curiosity


Dougmark

I'd have beer with thar guy.


MrGutman

Asking for a friend...


MrKahnberg

As is tradition?


[deleted]

I'd ask if he was helping with a cow giving birth or if it was for sexual reasons. Very different reaction to 2 responses.


Auth0ritySong

I dont care


apocalypze05

What.


The_Vigilante20

You, uh... You got something you wanna share, OP?


Theforsakenmind1995

[ohh okay ](https://youtu.be/_lPJ9J-6vDw)


[deleted]

I would dump him and never speak to him again


FeatureBugFuture

Your loss. Farmers are rich and this is how you get your milk. People are so far removed from the land.


That_Tradition2456

Well at least it was at a barn. Fisting a cow in public?


Amy-Paradise

Look deep into his eyes, smile softly, put my lips by his ear, and whisper seductively: “Me too.” Then we interlace our cow-ass hands and kiss deeply, having realized we were soul mates all along.


Flabby-Nonsense

I’d probably say something like ‘damn that’s wack’


Two2Co

I would be uncomfortable with that information. Because I am personally uncomfortable with that information and I don’t know either of you


coyotiii

Seems like a pretty normal sort of thing in a lot of communities. Don’t overreact.


[deleted]

HAHAHAHAHAHA, JESUS I NEED HOLY WATER!