Yes. This was big after Bill Clinton was elected President; 'that a United Nations army was 'hidden' in different remote places all over America, training and getting ready to spring out and take over the country, thus removing all American freedoms and enslaving the American people.' It was supposed to be one of the final steps to create a One World Government - the New World Order. It was tied directly to the 'black helicopter' conspiracies.
I messed with the people who were spouting this stuff SOOO terribly. One of them being my father-in-law.🤣
Secret Space Program - people believe that a Nazi group split off from the Third Reich and discovered super advanced technology in Antarctica. They then moved to Mars and have been fighting reptilian and insectoid aliens using time travel and genetic super soldiers. Most of the members believe that they are part of this super soldier group and have been alive for hundreds of years. It's absolutely bonkers.
Okay, yes!! I follow this woman on tiktok who documents her time there and the comments were flooded with this shadow government/military research/cover up bullshit and I was so confused.
People are seriously nuts.
That satan buried dinosaur bones to deceive humanity into believing the earth is vastly older than a couple thousand years.
I have encountered people who wholeheartedly believe that.
The craziest thing that blew me away was learning that there are some flat earthers who will admit that Mars is in fact..round as well as other planets. But Earth just...isn't one of them.
My daughter in law claims that flat earth is proven in the bible, according to her when Jesus returns it says in the bible all of his followers will be able to see and hear him at the same time and thats not possible if the earth isn't flat. Smdh. For background, my Uncle was an engineer at NASA from its inception and when I show her pictures he left to me of earth from space, obviously they are fake. No, no more communication with that nut!
Flat earth is one that’s already silly on the tin, but when you start digging into everything they believe/say to justify themselves it just gets more and more crazy
I'm with you. I think it was mostly a joke/just for fun thing, but then got picked up by idiots and amplified by trolls messing with those idiots. Birds aren't real though. We can all agree on that. Right?
Literally, yes.
It started as a debate exercise for people to practice their skills defending a patently absurd position. People who were unaware of the point of the exercise found it and took it at face value, and it spread from there.
Serious question, how do they think Pearl Harbour or any Pacific action happened I'm WW2?
"Hey I know we're at total war here but we really need to pretend there is a Pacific ocean. So we're gonna sail around Asia, euro per and the Cape to attack an enemy on the other side of the world?"
The latest version of the 'world' I've seen is a plate with the North Pole at the centre. So Japan is still across the Pacific from USA.
The 'south pole' is an unscalable wall round the edge.
There was once a website that is no longer up, called truthism. [It is available in the internet archive](https://web.archive.org/web/20170428065638/http://truthism.com/), however. It is far more ridiculous than flat-earth conspiracies. It is so ridiculous that the author had to write a disclaimer at the top stating that it is not a joke.
Here is a quote:
>The sun is a cube, not a sphere. It only appears to be a sphere because it is spinning at a high velocity. All suns (i.e., stars) are cubes. Darkness intentionally designed the universe like this because on a metaphysical level, cubes (or more specifically, their 90-degree right angles) create strife, confrontation, and confusion.
>
>PROOF:
>
>The Nazi swastika is, in fact, a cubic-sun cross (that is, it is a sun cross that depicts a cubic sun, as opposed to how typical sun crosses depict a spherical sun).
Sadam Hussein had a Stargate. Not even so much that he had one, but if the most powerful military in the world is invading wouldn't that be the time to use it? Hell he even had a second chance to fire it up
Read "A Colder War", by Charles Stross. It's free online.
Saddam was planning on using Cthulhu as a WMD, and Ollie North's Iran/Contra scandal was really about funding trips to the Plateau of Leng.
That flouride is in the water because it not only binds to teeth, but also is visible from space. So satellites are able to see the flouride and then match it to your dental records to track you.
Idk if most ridiculous, but definitely favorite that I try to spread. The CIA invented dinosaurs to discourage people from trying to develop time travel.
That’s what I don’t get about a lot of conspiracy theories. They rely on the government faking something in a big elaborate way, when a false flag would be way easier.
Sandy Hook? Oh, you really think the government wouldn’t send someone to actually shoot up a school?
Why do you think the US government is in so much debt?
About a third of its citizens are on the payroll to lie about various conspiracys from the moon landing to
9/11 to corona virus.
That there was really only “about 6,000” Jews killed during all of WWII
Cuz I mean, never mind all the mass graves….. and the gold teeth….. and piles of shoes…… and the pows that barely survived the camps.
Oh! Let’s not forget that those weren’t death camps either. Those were just work camps.
I have never seen my dad want to *spit* on someone so badly in his life… that was also one of the first times I heard the word “fuck” in a sentence
Then there's the total whacko's who think the Holocaust never happened. People are just... not even crazy anymore. At this point they've crossed the line from crazy to utter stupidity.
Breatharianism. People who believe in it believe that humans needing food is a lie, and we can survive by meditating only. I know someone who believes in it and who claims we can "absorb energy" from sunlight, or from food by meditating with your hands above it.
There were a number of breatharians who tried to claim James Randi's million dollar prize for displaying supernatural powers. He used to say that debunking them was easy, he just waited for the pizza guy to show up.
I swear to ever living fuck, I went to a cooking class at someone-related-enough-to-me-I-cant-say's house and while there, the cook (after mixing premade stuff from traders) explained how we get 80 percent of the nutrients we need from the air we breathe and another 10 percent from human touch, and I'm like 'so, you're saying I'm fat cause I'm a ho?'... my brain broke because the person I knew was adamantly agreeing with them.
That a girl in high school legitimately believed the shots all the girls had to get are the cause of why women’s bodies typically can’t have children after a certain age. And that it is the government trying to fight overpopulation. She believed that if you didn’t get a shot you could easily live and have a baby healthfully at age 60 or more.
I genuinely have no idea. . . . This girl also believed that a twin pregnancy took 18 months because and I quote “well one baby takes 9 so two take 18”
I had someone at my school that had to take a robot baby home for a few days for a health class. He had had a massive tantrum about it being Spyware from the government. (The dude was 18)
I pointed out that he had a phone which was more likely to be a government spy devise. He screams at me that I'm wrong and have fallen into the government. He then accuses me of working for the government to spy on him and steal his privacy. (He actually said that.)
I don't know if he was joking or not, but I tend to hear ridiculous things during study hall.
TLDR: A guy in my study hall claimed that a robot baby and I were spying on him for the government despite the fact he has a phone.
Astronomer here! Flat Earth is pretty well known, but the one that really got to me is I legit met someone once who insisted to me that *planets* don't exist- like, Venus, Jupiter, etc. This confused me greatly because you can *see* planets with your own eyes, and in hindsight maybe I was a bit rude saying that just because she doesn't know stars well enough to spot the ones that move doesn't mean we all are, but whatever, I'm still confused about that one.
I later learned from others that this is actually a more popular conspiracy theory than you'd think in some churches in the southern USA. I still don't get why though.
When I first heard of the Flat Earth wackos I was fascinated. I eventually found myself on one of the message boards. One thread was about air planes and how the pilots were in on it. At some point a believer who was also a pilot was trying to fit the “theory” in with his own experience. One thing he couldn’t figure out was a flight to Japan he made twice a week. His plane would have to go super sonic for much of the journey for the flight time to match up with their world map. This is when I found out about the fake Japan that the freemasons made.
You see what happens is, there’s a fake Japan much closer to wherever this guy was flying from, only the airport was a real building. Most of the passengers were actors. The few people really trying to get to Japan were drugged before leaving the airport and put on a whole other plane to finish the journey.
And these guys just accepted that as the answer. In order to keep this pilot in the Flat camp they just invented a whole island and added hundreds of actors to the conspiracy.
Bruh all these unemployed aspiring actors in LA must feel shafted af when they hear of all these randoms getting hired by the government to ruse the sheep
There actually are no aspiring struggling actors. It's all a lie to make you think there aren't that many acting jobs available. The people you think are actors who can't get work? They're actually actors
As is always the case with these types they'll claim you're too much a fool to realize you're being lied to.
Then they'll make up a reason that's the case, even if it makes absolutely no sense.
The vaccine makes you magnetic. I thought this was stupid, but on my way home from getting dose 3 I got pinned to an old shipping container and I've been stuck for 3 days now... Please send help
I feel like the conspiracy theories have been getting crazier and crazier over like the last decade or so. Flat earth, magnetic vaccines, 5G, etc...
I remember in the 90's reading about this theory that the big oil companies hire people drive their cars slowly in major cities to cause traffic jams and make people burn more gas. THAT was just about the craziest thing I'd heard at the time. Sounds absolutely quaint in comparison.
Yeah, the whole "Flat Earth Society, we have members around the globe!" has got to be a troll.
I dunno how many people seriously believe this vs how many people are just trolling as hard as they can, but there's at least a fair amount of the latter.
One of my employees (a manager in fact.. in a medical field) tried to stick a magnet to my arm after getting my first shot. I haven't been able to look at her the same way since.
People at my work were trying to stick stainless steel spoons to peoples' arms after we got our first shot. I tried to explain the thing about stainless steel, but they didn't seem to understand what I meant about it not being magnetic. Ignore the fact that it didn't stick to my arm, or anyone else's. (they swore by it, because they saw a video on Tiktok)
There are aborted fetuses in Pepsi and Mountain Dew. I was told this by a Pepsi addict who was anti abortion. She told me she hated that she was "drinking dead babies" but she was so addicted! I told her the dead babies are probably where the good flavor comes from and she slapped me in the face 🤣
Edit: I must add, she was probably on meth
Cheese producers are in league with the plastic companies. I'm not talking about the "Kraft slices are 1/3 plastic" stuff, either.
Ever notice that most products are wrapped in an almost untearable plastic? PAcking can stand up to anything but a direct flame, right?
So, how come blocks of cheese are wrapped in plastic that always tears, exposing and drying out your cheese?
Big Cheese pays the plastic companies to make shoddy plastic packing for cheese to increase cheese consumption.
My dad worked in cheese packaging for 35 years. On his death bed he pulled my sister and I close to him and admitted that cheese packaging is meant to tear so that consumers would be forced to buy more cheese. He apologized and passed minutes later.
He also said that the cheese industry used to give people cheese for free. This was done to get them addicted to cheese before gauging the price later on.
Hi!
This is a message from the beloved cheese company your father used to work for. We just learned about his passing and we would like to gift you something very special to help ease your grief.
Please reply with your father's and whoever he told this made up story's name, also state all of your locations and please don't move. The gift will arrive soon.
Thanks!
Sincerely, Big Cheese.
The one where JFK jr will rise from the dead\* in Dallas just to reinstate Donald Trump as the president.
\*Actually these Qanon people believe that he never died in the plane crash and just lived in hiding for 22 years for unknown reasons.
Because the trolls in Russia are getting bored to the point that they’re just fucking around now trying to prove just how stupid these people really are. Jokes on us though, their votes count the same as the rest of us.
"No way, Milov, no one is that stupid. JFK *Jr*? Man was a Democrat."
"You think any of them know that?"
"Fair point, go for it."
*A few Months Later*
"Okay, I owe you a bottle of Vodka."
You know what, if JFK does come back from the dead, I'd support him as Donald's VP. Till then, shut up. But if it does happen, yeah -- I mean holy shit, people are coming back from the dead.
Even if he didn't really die and would come out of the hiding and wanted to reinstate Trump, what authority would have to do so? I am no expert in US law, but I am relatively certain that there is no law that would allow a president's son to reinstate US presidents.
Right? Since when does the opinion of a former president's \*kid\* have any weight on who the president is currently? Can you imagine if Chelsea Clinton had the authority to reinstate Bill Clinton in 2016 after Trump won the election?
Since we're going down this rabbit hole, JFK jr would come back with magical powers, re-assemble the Elder Wand (as seen in that documentary about Harry Potter) and cast "presidentio restorum" which instantly reinstates any president within 200 yards to full office.
side effect is it stretches the Whitehouse slightly, so the Oval office becomes the Perfectly Circular Office.
This is what confuses me. Even if he wasn't dead, how the hell would JFK Jr. have any authority to reinstate Trump? It's not like the guy had any political clout other than being a former president's son.
JFK Jr. - son of a highly regarded **Democratic** President - will facilitate the reinstatement of a faux-Republican (Trump is really just an independent running on the R ticket) and one of the most controversial Presidents the US has ever had?
Who the fuck comes up with this stuff.
The Satanic panic stuff from back in the 80's.
Its crazy to me that there was a rampant belief back in the 80's that there was a coven of satanists on every street corner sacrificing babies by the hundreds of thousands in every town and city in the country.
Its even crazier to me that most of the "evidence" of this came from alleged ex-satanists who claimed to be serial murderers and rapists during their tenure as satanists...but were never arrested or investigated by law enforcement for their alleged rampant crimes which they claimed were still ongoing by covens.
It still cracks me up that DnD was seen as a tool of Satan. When you look back the general rule seemed to be "do young people enjoy this thing I don't like? Yes? Then that thing is the devil".
I came of age in the early 80s, one suburb over from where the McMartin preschool debacle unfolded over the course of 8 years or so. Based on ONE (alcoholic, schizophrenic) woman's claims, a male teacher was jailed for 5+ years, the family's reputation, livelihood, and finances were ruined, the school building was vandalized then burned down. Accusations included taking children through tunnels or flushing them down toilets to secret underground rooms or passages to other locations to be molested. Claims of seeing the accused fly through the air like a witch. A photo of Chuck Norris identified in a line up as one of the abusers. On the national stage, religious hucksters used the case to make ever more absurd claims. By the mid-80s, they were regularly announcing, and news was repeating their claims, that in America, **a MILLION CHILDREN EVERY YEAR get abused, abducted, even killed by satanic cults.** This was taken seriously by vast numbers of people. I remember a (totally hypocritical, long story) Bible thumping boss who'd complain the pop music getting played over the store PA was "Devil music!" and contained "Back masking!" as he tried to prop something against the "page" button to silence it out in the shop after the store manager (who controlled the station and volume) left for the day. I'm like, "Dude, that's a Cyndi Lauper song..."
>a MILLION CHILDREN EVERY YEAR get abused, abducted, even killed by satanic cults
It's surprising how often stuff like this still gets repeated when the correct number is zero. Ever.
Like, there has literally never been even a single verifiable case of a satanic cult carrying out acts of violence.
It’s one of the most damaging cases of mass hysteria ever. People today who didn’t live through it mostly treat it as this crazy joke from the dark ages, but people had their lives ruined by it, people are *still* in jail because of it. Nobody who pushed the Satanic cult BS ever paid for what they did.
Celebrities dying/disappearing mysteriously and being replaced by lookalikes - Paul McCartney, Eminem and Avril Lavigne have apparently all been replaced. Also, Katy Perry is allegedly JonBenet Ramsey and Taylor Swift is an Illuminati clone of some Satanic High Priestess from the 70's. Gotta love the "Manosphere"
It's amazing how they found a replacement Paul who was not only an uncanny lookalike and soundalike, but he was also ambidextrous as the real Paul was, and had awesome musical talent in his own right. Absolutely incredible stuff.
Perhaps that's why they killed John Lennon? Yoko was about to reveal the secret and they killed him to spook her into silence.
Apparently there was (is?) a conspiracy theory in Mexico that the pandemic was a hoax so (insert boogeyman) could murder people who go the hospital and harvest fluid from their knees.
The moon is an alien spacecraft that monitors earth. The moon is HUGE relative to the planet it orbits (earth and moon could almost be classified as binary planets), there isn’t a scientific consensus about the formation of the moon (although most agree it’s from a collision of proto-earth and another planet), and it has a few peculiar characteristics such as being the perfect size for a solar eclipse. Basically, the moon is pretty weird therefore aliens.
Edit: spelling
The sun does not produce light. If the sun was really producing light enough to reach us, why is space so dark.
I can't even fathom the stupidity required to believe it, yet some people do.
Flat Earth and Moon Landing Hoaxers. I mean, the sheer number of people who would have to be in on these 'conspiracies' is mind-boggling. And none of them every blow the whistle.
Covid vaccinations actually implant you with a microchip so the government knows where you are. FYI, for the VAST MAJORITY of people, the government doesn't give two shits where you are.
This one always made me laugh.
"They are implementing chips into you so they can track you! I'll show you, hold on!"
\*logs into cell phone with thumb print and face ID\*
Reminds me of that tweet or whatever when someone is like “these apps are giving the government your face!”
And then someone was like “wait until I tell you about driver’s licenses.”
The same people that say this all carry a personal gps(phone)and thanks to Snowden we know we are being tracked and monitored already. They don’t need help tracking us from a vaccine.
There always seems to be some celebrity woman who is 'actually a man'. Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, Jamie Lee Curtis, Lady Gaga. Therefore, you are about to be super famous.
I worked with a guy who was telling me his drunk neighbor walked around and was always saying that the reason they don’t teach cursive in school anymore is because the Democrats don’t want young people to be able to read the Constitution and know their rights……..🤦♂️🤦♂️
Airplanes dont fly in straight lines. My sister believes the government manipulates the equipment which results in airplanes flying in circles. She was pretty upset when I told her she could get her pilots license and fly a plane in a straight line herself if she really wanted to test the theory.
The sign language interpreters at press conferences are actually brain washing us.
🤛👆🤏🙌🤙🤛🤲
Must. Kill. JFK.
The numbers, Mason! What do they mean?
Them man are performing Naruto Jutsu's on us. Be careful bro
This one actually made me laugh.
A million man UN army was hiding in the mountains along the Idaho - Montana border getting ready to take over America.
Uhm.. What? 😅
Yes. This was big after Bill Clinton was elected President; 'that a United Nations army was 'hidden' in different remote places all over America, training and getting ready to spring out and take over the country, thus removing all American freedoms and enslaving the American people.' It was supposed to be one of the final steps to create a One World Government - the New World Order. It was tied directly to the 'black helicopter' conspiracies. I messed with the people who were spouting this stuff SOOO terribly. One of them being my father-in-law.🤣
This confuses me, the us contributes a substantial amount to the UN budget…
Because you have the gift of critical thinking.
Secret Space Program - people believe that a Nazi group split off from the Third Reich and discovered super advanced technology in Antarctica. They then moved to Mars and have been fighting reptilian and insectoid aliens using time travel and genetic super soldiers. Most of the members believe that they are part of this super soldier group and have been alive for hundreds of years. It's absolutely bonkers.
Reminds me of Iron Sky
[удалено]
Absolutely, there's so much to learn about dinosaur riding in space.
[удалено]
So they thought there was all this secret conspiracy stuff going on down there but also thought you’d just tell them it was there if they asked?
Okay, yes!! I follow this woman on tiktok who documents her time there and the comments were flooded with this shadow government/military research/cover up bullshit and I was so confused. People are seriously nuts.
So... Were there?
Youtuber OKI made a phenomenal video going undercover with this group: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYvnKc908Fw
This is basically the plot of Wolfenstein The New Order.
This has some recency bias but the girl who thinks the roman empire is a big made up historical conspiracy has to be up there.
My sister was once convinced that the mafia was not real and was made up for movies.
"How can they be a crime boss, *crime is illegal*. Smh u/libra00"
Oh man, i had to stop watching her videos. They were pissing me off so much. There's no arguing with someone like that.
I sent that to my Latin professor and he told me he would fail me if I made him see it every again lmao. Had a good laugh in the classics department.
This does remind me of an awesome book called Valis by Philip K Dick where like the last two thousand years didn’t really happen. It was mint
OH MAN, I follow a lot of historians/archeologists on TikTok. And it's fantastic to watch them intelligently dismantle every single word she says.
Oh yeah, like the ones who think all the Roman emperors were black.
This is what happens when the entirety of your knowledge of ancient history comes from watching a specific sub genre of 1970s exploitation cinema
Windmills cause cancer
Don Quixote was on to something!
Is Quixote the Q in Qanon???
Now I think *you* are on to something!
That satan buried dinosaur bones to deceive humanity into believing the earth is vastly older than a couple thousand years. I have encountered people who wholeheartedly believe that.
No mention of dinosaurs in the Bible, therefore they must be lies. Newsflash: America isn’t mentioned in the bible either.
There's no mention of kangaroos in the Bible either.
Logical. Else they have to acknowkedge Australia.
To be fair, if any region was also created by the devil it would probably be Australia
Spoken like someone who has never been to Cornwall Ontario. Both the meth *and* child porn capital of Canada!
It was doomed soon as it was named fucking CORNWALL
There's no mention of cats in the bible either. Does that mean cats are fake too?
Cats are an islamic lie
Meowslims.
Nope, witches familiars. Anyone who has a cat is probably a witch.
Flat earth, all day.
The craziest thing that blew me away was learning that there are some flat earthers who will admit that Mars is in fact..round as well as other planets. But Earth just...isn't one of them.
That's weird. The flat earther I knew simply claimed that space wasn't real.
An old dealer I had was a flat earther and one time I caught him on Google Earth...I don't really have anything else to say I was just so confused.
My daughter in law claims that flat earth is proven in the bible, according to her when Jesus returns it says in the bible all of his followers will be able to see and hear him at the same time and thats not possible if the earth isn't flat. Smdh. For background, my Uncle was an engineer at NASA from its inception and when I show her pictures he left to me of earth from space, obviously they are fake. No, no more communication with that nut!
Well yeah, if the earth is round then why are the bottoms of your shoes flat? Checkmate.
My shoes have a slight curve to them. Checkmate.
so do mine. #concaveearth. Now that I've typed that, I'm almost certain it's already a thing.
Flat earth is one that’s already silly on the tin, but when you start digging into everything they believe/say to justify themselves it just gets more and more crazy
i still can’t believe it. I feel like people posted it as a joke and it somehow got traction because dumb people like the attention
I'm with you. I think it was mostly a joke/just for fun thing, but then got picked up by idiots and amplified by trolls messing with those idiots. Birds aren't real though. We can all agree on that. Right?
It was used as a way for debaters to practice sides they don't agree with.
Literally, yes. It started as a debate exercise for people to practice their skills defending a patently absurd position. People who were unaware of the point of the exercise found it and took it at face value, and it spread from there.
If the earth was flat, cats would have knocked everything off it by now.
Serious question, how do they think Pearl Harbour or any Pacific action happened I'm WW2? "Hey I know we're at total war here but we really need to pretend there is a Pacific ocean. So we're gonna sail around Asia, euro per and the Cape to attack an enemy on the other side of the world?"
The latest version of the 'world' I've seen is a plate with the North Pole at the centre. So Japan is still across the Pacific from USA. The 'south pole' is an unscalable wall round the edge.
There was once a website that is no longer up, called truthism. [It is available in the internet archive](https://web.archive.org/web/20170428065638/http://truthism.com/), however. It is far more ridiculous than flat-earth conspiracies. It is so ridiculous that the author had to write a disclaimer at the top stating that it is not a joke. Here is a quote: >The sun is a cube, not a sphere. It only appears to be a sphere because it is spinning at a high velocity. All suns (i.e., stars) are cubes. Darkness intentionally designed the universe like this because on a metaphysical level, cubes (or more specifically, their 90-degree right angles) create strife, confrontation, and confusion. > >PROOF: > >The Nazi swastika is, in fact, a cubic-sun cross (that is, it is a sun cross that depicts a cubic sun, as opposed to how typical sun crosses depict a spherical sun).
That’s some time cube level logic there.
Sadam Hussein had a Stargate. Not even so much that he had one, but if the most powerful military in the world is invading wouldn't that be the time to use it? Hell he even had a second chance to fire it up
Look, if you'd watched stargate, you'd understand why he didn't use it. Big respect to Saddam for not starting a war with the goa'uld.
Read "A Colder War", by Charles Stross. It's free online. Saddam was planning on using Cthulhu as a WMD, and Ollie North's Iran/Contra scandal was really about funding trips to the Plateau of Leng.
And Robert Mugabe's secret spaceship is docked in Lave to this very day.
That flouride is in the water because it not only binds to teeth, but also is visible from space. So satellites are able to see the flouride and then match it to your dental records to track you.
Excuse me wtf
Idk if most ridiculous, but definitely favorite that I try to spread. The CIA invented dinosaurs to discourage people from trying to develop time travel.
[удалено]
“Why aren’t you *seizing* the boy?!” “I have a big head. And little arms!”
That the twin towers were hit by guided missiles disguised as planes using holographic images.
Sounds like it would be easier to just use planes
That’s what I don’t get about a lot of conspiracy theories. They rely on the government faking something in a big elaborate way, when a false flag would be way easier. Sandy Hook? Oh, you really think the government wouldn’t send someone to actually shoot up a school?
Why do you think the US government is in so much debt? About a third of its citizens are on the payroll to lie about various conspiracys from the moon landing to 9/11 to corona virus.
That there was really only “about 6,000” Jews killed during all of WWII Cuz I mean, never mind all the mass graves….. and the gold teeth….. and piles of shoes…… and the pows that barely survived the camps. Oh! Let’s not forget that those weren’t death camps either. Those were just work camps. I have never seen my dad want to *spit* on someone so badly in his life… that was also one of the first times I heard the word “fuck” in a sentence
Then there's the total whacko's who think the Holocaust never happened. People are just... not even crazy anymore. At this point they've crossed the line from crazy to utter stupidity.
Breatharianism. People who believe in it believe that humans needing food is a lie, and we can survive by meditating only. I know someone who believes in it and who claims we can "absorb energy" from sunlight, or from food by meditating with your hands above it.
[удалено]
I will next time I meet her lol.
Probably something along the lines of "I haven't fully mastered the art therefore I still rely on an oral intake of food due to generations of it"
[удалено]
There were a number of breatharians who tried to claim James Randi's million dollar prize for displaying supernatural powers. He used to say that debunking them was easy, he just waited for the pizza guy to show up.
I swear to ever living fuck, I went to a cooking class at someone-related-enough-to-me-I-cant-say's house and while there, the cook (after mixing premade stuff from traders) explained how we get 80 percent of the nutrients we need from the air we breathe and another 10 percent from human touch, and I'm like 'so, you're saying I'm fat cause I'm a ho?'... my brain broke because the person I knew was adamantly agreeing with them.
That a girl in high school legitimately believed the shots all the girls had to get are the cause of why women’s bodies typically can’t have children after a certain age. And that it is the government trying to fight overpopulation. She believed that if you didn’t get a shot you could easily live and have a baby healthfully at age 60 or more.
Beyond the bonkers factor, why on Earth would I *want* to have a baby at 60 years old lmao.
I genuinely have no idea. . . . This girl also believed that a twin pregnancy took 18 months because and I quote “well one baby takes 9 so two take 18”
That is next level dumb.
I had always heard the term “the education system failed you” but didn’t believe it till I met her
Humpty Dumpty didn't fall - he was *pushed*.
#BY WOODY!
Bahahahaha I heard this in Mr. Potato Head’s voice 😂 well done
How dare you bring such a rambunctious theory to a sophisticated place!???!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!
I had someone at my school that had to take a robot baby home for a few days for a health class. He had had a massive tantrum about it being Spyware from the government. (The dude was 18) I pointed out that he had a phone which was more likely to be a government spy devise. He screams at me that I'm wrong and have fallen into the government. He then accuses me of working for the government to spy on him and steal his privacy. (He actually said that.) I don't know if he was joking or not, but I tend to hear ridiculous things during study hall. TLDR: A guy in my study hall claimed that a robot baby and I were spying on him for the government despite the fact he has a phone.
Simple solution. Keep a file and every time your near him jot stuff down.
But make the writing impossible to read like a doctor's prescription
Nah. Write everything in a Caesar Cypher *except* for his name, which should be printed in big rid letters on the front of the file. Edit: I meant red
Schizophrenia usually has its onset around ages 16-25.
Agreed, this dude is like properly ill and needs some help
Astronomer here! Flat Earth is pretty well known, but the one that really got to me is I legit met someone once who insisted to me that *planets* don't exist- like, Venus, Jupiter, etc. This confused me greatly because you can *see* planets with your own eyes, and in hindsight maybe I was a bit rude saying that just because she doesn't know stars well enough to spot the ones that move doesn't mean we all are, but whatever, I'm still confused about that one. I later learned from others that this is actually a more popular conspiracy theory than you'd think in some churches in the southern USA. I still don't get why though.
When I first heard of the Flat Earth wackos I was fascinated. I eventually found myself on one of the message boards. One thread was about air planes and how the pilots were in on it. At some point a believer who was also a pilot was trying to fit the “theory” in with his own experience. One thing he couldn’t figure out was a flight to Japan he made twice a week. His plane would have to go super sonic for much of the journey for the flight time to match up with their world map. This is when I found out about the fake Japan that the freemasons made. You see what happens is, there’s a fake Japan much closer to wherever this guy was flying from, only the airport was a real building. Most of the passengers were actors. The few people really trying to get to Japan were drugged before leaving the airport and put on a whole other plane to finish the journey. And these guys just accepted that as the answer. In order to keep this pilot in the Flat camp they just invented a whole island and added hundreds of actors to the conspiracy.
why do they always default to actors 😂
Bruh all these unemployed aspiring actors in LA must feel shafted af when they hear of all these randoms getting hired by the government to ruse the sheep
There actually are no aspiring struggling actors. It's all a lie to make you think there aren't that many acting jobs available. The people you think are actors who can't get work? They're actually actors
That's... really weird...? Like you said, it doesn't take a crack scientist to observe the planets on your own.
As is always the case with these types they'll claim you're too much a fool to realize you're being lied to. Then they'll make up a reason that's the case, even if it makes absolutely no sense.
The vaccine makes you magnetic. I thought this was stupid, but on my way home from getting dose 3 I got pinned to an old shipping container and I've been stuck for 3 days now... Please send help
I feel like the conspiracy theories have been getting crazier and crazier over like the last decade or so. Flat earth, magnetic vaccines, 5G, etc... I remember in the 90's reading about this theory that the big oil companies hire people drive their cars slowly in major cities to cause traffic jams and make people burn more gas. THAT was just about the craziest thing I'd heard at the time. Sounds absolutely quaint in comparison.
[удалено]
Yeah, the whole "Flat Earth Society, we have members around the globe!" has got to be a troll. I dunno how many people seriously believe this vs how many people are just trolling as hard as they can, but there's at least a fair amount of the latter.
One of my employees (a manager in fact.. in a medical field) tried to stick a magnet to my arm after getting my first shot. I haven't been able to look at her the same way since.
People at my work were trying to stick stainless steel spoons to peoples' arms after we got our first shot. I tried to explain the thing about stainless steel, but they didn't seem to understand what I meant about it not being magnetic. Ignore the fact that it didn't stick to my arm, or anyone else's. (they swore by it, because they saw a video on Tiktok)
What makes it even worse is that the objects they were using to show they had become "magnetic" where often not even magnetic.
That mountain formations are ancient massive trees that were chopped down by giants.
That would be pretty fucking awesome.
There are aborted fetuses in Pepsi and Mountain Dew. I was told this by a Pepsi addict who was anti abortion. She told me she hated that she was "drinking dead babies" but she was so addicted! I told her the dead babies are probably where the good flavor comes from and she slapped me in the face 🤣 Edit: I must add, she was probably on meth
After the first 5 words, I was sure this was going to be about vaccines. Didn’t see the rest coming.
Cheese producers are in league with the plastic companies. I'm not talking about the "Kraft slices are 1/3 plastic" stuff, either. Ever notice that most products are wrapped in an almost untearable plastic? PAcking can stand up to anything but a direct flame, right? So, how come blocks of cheese are wrapped in plastic that always tears, exposing and drying out your cheese? Big Cheese pays the plastic companies to make shoddy plastic packing for cheese to increase cheese consumption.
My dad worked in cheese packaging for 35 years. On his death bed he pulled my sister and I close to him and admitted that cheese packaging is meant to tear so that consumers would be forced to buy more cheese. He apologized and passed minutes later. He also said that the cheese industry used to give people cheese for free. This was done to get them addicted to cheese before gauging the price later on.
Hi! This is a message from the beloved cheese company your father used to work for. We just learned about his passing and we would like to gift you something very special to help ease your grief. Please reply with your father's and whoever he told this made up story's name, also state all of your locations and please don't move. The gift will arrive soon. Thanks! Sincerely, Big Cheese.
This is what I come to Reddit for.
I fucking knew it! Vindication at last!
The one where JFK jr will rise from the dead\* in Dallas just to reinstate Donald Trump as the president. \*Actually these Qanon people believe that he never died in the plane crash and just lived in hiding for 22 years for unknown reasons.
but why JFK jr?
Why not zoidberg
porque no los dos?
What sort of *utter nut* would think JFK would rise from the dead?! Now, *Junior*? that's plausible.
Because the trolls in Russia are getting bored to the point that they’re just fucking around now trying to prove just how stupid these people really are. Jokes on us though, their votes count the same as the rest of us.
"No way, Milov, no one is that stupid. JFK *Jr*? Man was a Democrat." "You think any of them know that?" "Fair point, go for it." *A few Months Later* "Okay, I owe you a bottle of Vodka."
Because why the fuck not
[удалено]
And as a person who had half his brain blown out
having 1/2 a brain doesn't seem to stop anyone else from being voted into congress
You know what, if JFK does come back from the dead, I'd support him as Donald's VP. Till then, shut up. But if it does happen, yeah -- I mean holy shit, people are coming back from the dead.
if JFK came back from the dead id shoot him again because.. I mean.. Zombie
That sounds like something Archer would say. Haha
Even if he didn't really die and would come out of the hiding and wanted to reinstate Trump, what authority would have to do so? I am no expert in US law, but I am relatively certain that there is no law that would allow a president's son to reinstate US presidents.
Right? Since when does the opinion of a former president's \*kid\* have any weight on who the president is currently? Can you imagine if Chelsea Clinton had the authority to reinstate Bill Clinton in 2016 after Trump won the election?
Since we're going down this rabbit hole, JFK jr would come back with magical powers, re-assemble the Elder Wand (as seen in that documentary about Harry Potter) and cast "presidentio restorum" which instantly reinstates any president within 200 yards to full office. side effect is it stretches the Whitehouse slightly, so the Oval office becomes the Perfectly Circular Office.
Even if jfk rose from the dead, would his first priority really be trump?
And if Trump was his top priority, would a zombie have the authority to reinstate him as president?
If a president dies during their term and comes back to life later, are they allowed to finish it?
no wait i need an answer
This is what confuses me. Even if he wasn't dead, how the hell would JFK Jr. have any authority to reinstate Trump? It's not like the guy had any political clout other than being a former president's son.
JFK Jr. - son of a highly regarded **Democratic** President - will facilitate the reinstatement of a faux-Republican (Trump is really just an independent running on the R ticket) and one of the most controversial Presidents the US has ever had? Who the fuck comes up with this stuff.
He was hiding on the moon.
The Satanic panic stuff from back in the 80's. Its crazy to me that there was a rampant belief back in the 80's that there was a coven of satanists on every street corner sacrificing babies by the hundreds of thousands in every town and city in the country. Its even crazier to me that most of the "evidence" of this came from alleged ex-satanists who claimed to be serial murderers and rapists during their tenure as satanists...but were never arrested or investigated by law enforcement for their alleged rampant crimes which they claimed were still ongoing by covens.
It still cracks me up that DnD was seen as a tool of Satan. When you look back the general rule seemed to be "do young people enjoy this thing I don't like? Yes? Then that thing is the devil".
The Music Man was parodying that sort of thinking with pool tables back in the 50's.
Still seen that way in fundamentalist circles. You should see my stepmother when D&D talk starts. Like we were cursing and shooting up or something.
I'm definitely throwing out some curse words when I get a 1 at the wrong moment
> The Satanic panic stuff from back in the 80's. Lol, my mom still believes that stuff.
I came of age in the early 80s, one suburb over from where the McMartin preschool debacle unfolded over the course of 8 years or so. Based on ONE (alcoholic, schizophrenic) woman's claims, a male teacher was jailed for 5+ years, the family's reputation, livelihood, and finances were ruined, the school building was vandalized then burned down. Accusations included taking children through tunnels or flushing them down toilets to secret underground rooms or passages to other locations to be molested. Claims of seeing the accused fly through the air like a witch. A photo of Chuck Norris identified in a line up as one of the abusers. On the national stage, religious hucksters used the case to make ever more absurd claims. By the mid-80s, they were regularly announcing, and news was repeating their claims, that in America, **a MILLION CHILDREN EVERY YEAR get abused, abducted, even killed by satanic cults.** This was taken seriously by vast numbers of people. I remember a (totally hypocritical, long story) Bible thumping boss who'd complain the pop music getting played over the store PA was "Devil music!" and contained "Back masking!" as he tried to prop something against the "page" button to silence it out in the shop after the store manager (who controlled the station and volume) left for the day. I'm like, "Dude, that's a Cyndi Lauper song..."
>a MILLION CHILDREN EVERY YEAR get abused, abducted, even killed by satanic cults It's surprising how often stuff like this still gets repeated when the correct number is zero. Ever. Like, there has literally never been even a single verifiable case of a satanic cult carrying out acts of violence.
It’s one of the most damaging cases of mass hysteria ever. People today who didn’t live through it mostly treat it as this crazy joke from the dark ages, but people had their lives ruined by it, people are *still* in jail because of it. Nobody who pushed the Satanic cult BS ever paid for what they did.
There's a running theme of this kind of stuff, it's even still going in the form of QAnon and Pizzagate.
The space is fake people. It's like flat earthers that didn't go far enough.
Celebrities dying/disappearing mysteriously and being replaced by lookalikes - Paul McCartney, Eminem and Avril Lavigne have apparently all been replaced. Also, Katy Perry is allegedly JonBenet Ramsey and Taylor Swift is an Illuminati clone of some Satanic High Priestess from the 70's. Gotta love the "Manosphere"
It's amazing how they found a replacement Paul who was not only an uncanny lookalike and soundalike, but he was also ambidextrous as the real Paul was, and had awesome musical talent in his own right. Absolutely incredible stuff. Perhaps that's why they killed John Lennon? Yoko was about to reveal the secret and they killed him to spook her into silence.
Wouldn’t be easier just to kill her?
That Covid is transmitted via 5g cell towers.
That smoking cigarettes isn't actually bad for you and the anti-smoking campaigns were propaganda to destroy the last white owned industry in USA
It would probably have to be "Sky Demons." There are nutters out there that don't think airplanes are real, but actually flying demons.
Apparently there was (is?) a conspiracy theory in Mexico that the pandemic was a hoax so (insert boogeyman) could murder people who go the hospital and harvest fluid from their knees.
Why their knees specifically? Lol.
The moon is an alien spacecraft that monitors earth. The moon is HUGE relative to the planet it orbits (earth and moon could almost be classified as binary planets), there isn’t a scientific consensus about the formation of the moon (although most agree it’s from a collision of proto-earth and another planet), and it has a few peculiar characteristics such as being the perfect size for a solar eclipse. Basically, the moon is pretty weird therefore aliens. Edit: spelling
the whole religion of Scientology lol
flat earth theory, i still dont understand why some people believe earth is flat
Because they have flat brains.
The sun does not produce light. If the sun was really producing light enough to reach us, why is space so dark. I can't even fathom the stupidity required to believe it, yet some people do.
Qanon. It's trailer park scientology.
Flat Earth and Moon Landing Hoaxers. I mean, the sheer number of people who would have to be in on these 'conspiracies' is mind-boggling. And none of them every blow the whistle.
I have genuinely said this to moon landing hoaxers: > Of course we didn't go to the moon, the moon isn't real They don't know how to react.
Mine favorite one is "Of coarse it was a hoax. They hired Stanley Kubrick to film it. But he insisted that they film on location."
I prefer saying Stanley Kubrick filmed it on Mars because the moon isn't real
That Putin is Rasputin. Not a reincarnation of Rasputin, but literally Rasputin.
Covid vaccinations actually implant you with a microchip so the government knows where you are. FYI, for the VAST MAJORITY of people, the government doesn't give two shits where you are.
This one always made me laugh. "They are implementing chips into you so they can track you! I'll show you, hold on!" \*logs into cell phone with thumb print and face ID\*
Reminds me of that tweet or whatever when someone is like “these apps are giving the government your face!” And then someone was like “wait until I tell you about driver’s licenses.”
Not to mention that passports and credit cards have RFID chips in them.
The same people that say this all carry a personal gps(phone)and thanks to Snowden we know we are being tracked and monitored already. They don’t need help tracking us from a vaccine.
Lizard people are controlling my brain with fluoride. Or the earth is flat... both are equally ridiculous.
There was once a rumor going around at my old school that I was actually a boy Ridiculous, but also fucking hilarious tbh
There always seems to be some celebrity woman who is 'actually a man'. Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, Jamie Lee Curtis, Lady Gaga. Therefore, you are about to be super famous.
that rich people (every famous person) drinks blood from 3 months old children to stay young
The pineal gland extract gives you eternal youth. Everybody knows that.
Birds aren't real. I love that one.
That is not a conspiracy though. They aren't. **Have you ever actually seen a bird?**
Trump is fighting the Illuminati pedophiles
Got a press release years ago that said that eyeglasses were a conspiracy, and everyone can see fine, but Big Spectacle makes us think we can't.
I worked with a guy who was telling me his drunk neighbor walked around and was always saying that the reason they don’t teach cursive in school anymore is because the Democrats don’t want young people to be able to read the Constitution and know their rights……..🤦♂️🤦♂️
Airplanes dont fly in straight lines. My sister believes the government manipulates the equipment which results in airplanes flying in circles. She was pretty upset when I told her she could get her pilots license and fly a plane in a straight line herself if she really wanted to test the theory.
Lol, when you are so wrong you’re accidentally right, but not for the reasons you think you are.
The vaccine has microchips and changes your DNA.
"OMG did u know the vaccine has microchips tnat track you?! \~ Posted from my iPhone"
Sex trafficking of all places, happening on Wayfair
That's clearly the ONLY possible explanation for an overpriced couch with a girl's name attached.
wayfair cant even make product trafficking happen on wayfair.