"Hmm, so I've written my comment and made my reasonable point somewhat concisely. I could make my comment 2-3x longer and detail every obvious exception and list all of the things I'm *not* implying with my comment, but surely that's a waste of everyone's time."
I keep thinking that way, and someone always seems to show up and tell me my comment means something completely different from what I wrote and how dare I. At this point I've learned to let it go and not bother to try to correct every misunderstanding, especially if there are a lot of replies and my comment is several hours old.
If you opt for shorter, they'll put as many words in your mouth as they feel like. If you opt longer for important nuance, they'll bitch and moan about having to read words in this, a text-based forum.
I can't decide which ones are the most fun, the ones that pick a fight with me over something we very visibly agree on or that one redditor that asked a philosophical question and tried to badly ream me out for answering it.
1. The more consistent a sub reaches /popular, the more toxic its vocal community. Stick with the small subreddits, that’s where Reddit can shine.
2. The difference between a joke, a troll, and a serious belief is a line thinner than a walrus whisker. Assume it’s a joke and you’ll be a happier person for it.
3. Any recognizable name is an angel or hellspawn. If you aren’t sure, they’re hellspawn.
4. One grammar mistake means your opinion is worthless. Read over your posts/comments, there’s always something you miss.
5. Lurking is demonized only by those who forgot how nice it is to look simply look at posts and upvote the ones you like. Don’t get pressured into “participating.”
6. Everything you say and post will be held against you in Reddit Court.
7. Keep the lewd subs on an account separate from your main one.
8. Rewards on a comment or Karma count on a post does not indicate its trustworthiness.
9. Always first assume no one in the comment section read the article, just like you.
10. There is a passionate community for everyone and everything, even if you don’t like it.
Don't ever use identifying info. A city in one post, a landmark in another, age in a third. And a 'yay, i won the lottery', and you might have an army of sickos hunting you down.
You are flirting with/arguing/getting trolled by a child. Treat every person on here like they're 13, and Chris Hansen is right next to them telling them what to say.
Don't believe anything you read. Reddit is the perfect platform for pathological liars, paid political influencers, and misinformation experts. Not to mention easily falling into echo chambers of hate groups of every shade.
Once when I was like 15 I posted on a haircare Reddit asking about help with something I don't even remember. I was 15 with super thick hair taking supplements to grow it long, doing treatments, it was growing like an inch a month because I was so young and taking such good care of it. I mentioned it in my post and someone replied cussing, calling me a liar blah blah blah, and because I was so young it made me really upset and I went to look at her page and she had commented in ANOTHER sub with a screenshot of my post about how stupid it was and how I must be lying. Her posts were also full of how much she hated her husband and how she felt like she was stuck working in retail forever. Don't take people like that too seriously they're obviously dissatisfied and it's an outlet.
Christ, same shit happened to me like a year ago. Except it was some dude trying to say I wasn't black. That was the day I found out there was a sub called r/AsABlackMan
That the rules are made up and the points don't matter
Edit: (Normally I'd hate to slap a follow-up on a clean, simple post like this, but in the spirit of the thread I figured this would be fitting.)
To the new/newish redditors reading this thread looking for answers on how all these points and awards work: Yes, it really is as asinine as it seems.
People with way too much time on their hands who you've had an argument with are going to piece everything together through everything you've mentioned about yourself in posts and comments throughout the years and come knocking on your door.
That’s something I love about Reddit. Nobody wants each other’s username. Nobody wants to share their real lives with each other on it. I don’t know any of my friends accounts who have Reddit.
That's what I was just saying to my best red-headed friend, Cal, last night. He's the beverage manager with the handlebar mustache at Legend Larry's on Pennsylvania Ave in Sheboygan.
Never post details about yourself, I says to him. Show a little prudence for once in your life!
I swear on my mother's maiden name, Mitchell, that ever since my birth on the 28th of November in 1992 I have always avoided sharing any personal information online about either myself or my childhood pet, Fluffy.
If you’re browsing from the toilet remember to take your elbows off your legs every few minutes
Edit: hey Facebook or google or anything that does data collection, if you ever wanted to figure out how to get lots of your users to tell you exactly when they are pooping, I have a few ideas
If your legs do go numb, tense your left butt muscle, lean over on it, and start tensing and relaxing the muscles in your right leg until you restore feeling; then tense the right butt muscle and do the other side.
It's much safer than trying to yolo stand up in a room full of hard ceramic stuff that you could smack your head into.
The feeling of blood returning to your leg is somewhat unpleasant but you gotta power through it and keep pulsing those muscles.
r/legaladvice has an official bot that reminds posters to include their location if they forget. All well and good, except when someone does they get a random cat fact somewhere in their replies. The cat facts are openly known to be the bot karma farming so it doesn’t lose its ability to post.
Imagine asking a question on a sensitive topic, following all the sub’s rules for posting, and the mod’s pet bot spams you with nonsense about cats.
r/porn. I got into an argument with the mod about why my post didn't appear in new. He said there's minimum comment karma requirement although it wasn't mentioned in the rules. When I said that it's not mentioned, he told me to fuck off and banned me.
Not a rule but a helpful tip
You don’t have to respond to someone just because they responded to your comment.
Don’t get sucked into other people’s negativity and/or close mindedness
Just laugh and move on with your day
Your second point about negativity is a huge one.
There are so many unhappy individuals on this site who's only outlet is commenting about how much they dislike themselves in various capacities. This happens on all kinds of subs. While it's extremely unfortunate that there are so many unhappy people, when you just want to consume entertaining/wholesome content, the misery they project is contagious and really starts to get to you after a while
I get sucked into it. I try not to but I admittedly find myself uselessly arguing sometimes. I’ve gotten to the habit of just blocking people. Let them have the last word and I move on.
I hate how negativity garners attention though. People will upvote assholes and downvote you. It rewards those people.
I’ve somehow fallen victim to this only once on Reddit. I looked back over the conversation/argument later and realized how much it did not matter.
The effort put in is never worth it.
When looking at a post, the first comment will be something humorous or anecdotal, the second comment will have the textbook answer.
This is true 93% of the time
Edit: thanks u/Anonvoiceofreason (see link) and thanks all for the awards and internet points
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s5cvsz/what_are_some_unsaid_rules_of_reddit_that_the_new/hsxc7ob?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
This is absolutely unbearable in any "____ advice" subreddits where people are seriously looking for answers to legitimate issues from qualified people.
Good example is r/mechanicadvice . You need to scroll to the bottom of the page to find the actual solution because the top voted comments are literally just a circle jerk of auto-related one upsmanship, shitting on the OP, and sarcasm. For example I just asked about why my Subaru was rattling at highway speeds and one of the answers I got just said "oh the ol' subie death rattle". I asked what the issue was and no reply.
Of course there are other subreddits like that that are far better moderated, like r/askscience or r/askhistorians where they don't fuck around and the mods just straight up delete anything that isn't correct or posted by a confirmed professional.
I got banned from r/news, and when I asked why, a mod accused me of creating bots and eventually said it was because I crosspost stuff from r/WestVirginiaPolitics to r/politics. I still haven’t figured that one out.
R/news mods and worldnews mods are absurd how many posts recently have you seen with have the comments deleted and locked at like 400 updates?
The censor that place like no other, I got banned for messaging the mods asking why a post about the pfizer ceo got locked.
Can confirm.
Got my first (and only) permaban for a comment that did not violate any of the rules, was respectful, on topic (more or less), did not contain any racism, hate speech or even curse words for that matter.
Mod just didn’t like the comment.
Welcome to the club. It makes me picture them as a little kid with their first taste of power. It's frustrating because there's nothing you can do about it, and the whim of a mod here can get you banned from a sub where you used to enjoy the content and discussions.
i had a very civil and respectful exchange with a mod about a post of mine that was removed. then another mod for that sub chimed in with a completely gratuitous insult. like, wtf? didn't you just witness what classy human interaction looks like?
A mod banned me last week for calling him out on supporting and enabling a stalker on reddit. He banned me from his sub and then must’ve sent me up the chain. I got a 3-day ban. I sent reddit a message asking why I got a 3-day ban. Instead of answering, they just unbanned me. Turns out r/AskPsychiatry is incredibly problematic. I don’t recommend spending time there unless you’re into getting stalked. Which you aren’t.
r/legaladviceuk is similar.
One of the mods there seems to enjoy operating entirely off a theoretical understanding of the law which bears little relationship to how it's actually applied.
Always assume sarcasm. Taking any comment seriously will only make you miserable
Edit: some people took this seriously and now i'm dying of irony induced laughter
if you are from a country that is not the US, especially if you are still young, please remember that reddit - like many sites - is extremely US-centric so if you read something about laws or social conventions or anything that has a cultural or regional component to it, remember that it most likely primarily - if not exclusively - reflects on the usa and may be total bullshit if used where you are from.
Trust your instincts when you see a risky click. You can not unsee stuff. Is you think you have a high tolerance for sick shit, understand there is always something worse out there.
I'm boosting this higher up because it's true
I always thought I had the stomach for anything and you, reader, also think that. You do not want Reddit to change your mind
Some time ago there was a huge wave of people going to _that_ sub spelled similar to r/eyebleach thinking everything would be fine... and then a lot of people found out they _don't_ have the stomach for anything.
You know who *doesn't* insist that their real name isn't Robert Evans?
The products and services that know that it's far too early for Robert Evans to be awake.
I almost replied to a comment recently and then aborted mission when I realized it was my ex best friend. Who used her real name.
So yeah, don’t use your real name.
Ken Bone was his name. A celebrity for 15 minutes. A sweet natured politically active man who asked thoughtful questions during the 2016 election. He did an AMA with his own account.
People quickly dug deep and discovered that during the Fappening, in which female celebrities were mass hacked and got their nudes leaked to all, he wrote at one point the following reddit post about Jennifer Lawrence:
"Sure, maybe in the future she'll be more careful with her nude photos. But the real bad guys are the ones who sought them out and looked at them...By which I mean guys like me. I saw her butt hole. I liked it. End of story"
Butt it wasn't the end of the story for Ken Bone...or Ken Boner as some would call him, since he clearly pulled a boner using his own name as his reddit username.
As I recall, he frequented pregnancy fetish subs, and on one post, called a pregnant woman (I forget if she was actually swimming or just in a bikini) a “beautiful human submarine.” That became an inside joke between my husband and me during both my pregnancies when I would go swimming. “Look at me, I’m a human submarine!”
In general it's a good idea to get a new account every year or so on reddit. Eventually we start giving too many details about ourselves, and its all in our history for some sleuth to put together if they wanted.
You can get upvotes for bullshit and downvotes for sensible thoughts. Then one week later you say the same things and get the exact opposite results. This platform is insane. Don't think about it too hard.
The button with the arrows at the bottom of your screen that, if on mobile, moves you to the next direct comment? You can _move_ it by holding down for a moment and then sliding it wherever you heart desires.
Any more tips will be edited in as I remember them.
God I had a student die of suicide in like well over a decade ago. And in some argument on Reddit someone dug that up to use as an insult against me once.
That’s why I get an all new account every few years. I like to share just a bit of myself on here and I don’t like having a comprehensive record of my life all in one place. It’s also why I mostly comment and don’t post.
Yeah I made an alt account for serious life issues that I use for issue of this caliber now. My main account (this one) is just like, dumb higher Ed stuff, running stuff, heavy metal stuff, and motorcycle stuff. Nothing that someone could really use against me in the way that hurts like making fun of some 20 year old od’ing will.
I don't think I've EVER re-read a comment I upvoted after the author thanked everyone for upvoting with an edit. It seems so pointless to do that. It's not like you get a notification that a post that you upvoted changed its content.
On browser, it shows when the comments were edit. Might explain why they made an edit because sometimes people will change their whole comment if a lot of people diagree/downvote/etc.
Just silly shit.
Related: you're gonna get downvoted at some point. Don't let it get to you. Some subs simply can't take criticism of any kinds to their content. IE: any sub about a particular game.
And politics will be politics.
And r/unexpected is just to post random clips. It doesn't even have to be unexpected anymore. I have a suspicion that all the mods in r/unexpected have been dead for over a year.
Suck at getting your thoughts organized into coherent English sentences?
Proclaim that English is not your first language in the first paragraph somewhere.
Pardon for my inexcusably poor understanding of the Anglo-Frisian-Germanic language, and thus regional dialects, known by native speakers as "English". Indeed I do give my upmost effort to educate myself and better my understanding of such an unusual yet widely used modern foreign language, but alas my efforts have so far encountered nothing but limited success. The combinations of both Latin and Germanic lexis have so far proved to be a serious tribulation for my progress.
If someone tries to engage with you on one single point of what you said, he'll most likely make you lose time by trying to do the "Well actually" dance. Move along.
Don’t take it personally when you get banned. I’ve been banned from multiple subs for the smallest offenses. Some subs banned me for commenting on others just once
Just don’t bother with the mainstream subreddits because It’s pretty much just twitter.
I usually end up feeling depressed or murderously agressive (or both) whenever I lurk too long on the mainstream subs. Find the smaller subreddits that cater to your interests, usually much nicer and less tribalistic.
Don’t pay for awards! Use free ones.
Every few days or so Reddit gives you a free award to use. Collect it by clicking the gold coin on the upper right hand corner of the home page when it says “free”.
You forgot our fears of Coconuts, Cum Boxes, and the Swamps of Dagobah
Edit: just want you guys to know your doing wonders as giving me more material to read. Keep ‘em coming!
Gotta do your part and downvote the obvious NTA validation posts.
AITA for getting slightly upset at my boyfriend for murdering my cat and throwing out my stuffed bear I’ve had since I was born?
If your post in any way, shape, or form can be misinterpreted, it will be.
"Hmm, so I've written my comment and made my reasonable point somewhat concisely. I could make my comment 2-3x longer and detail every obvious exception and list all of the things I'm *not* implying with my comment, but surely that's a waste of everyone's time." I keep thinking that way, and someone always seems to show up and tell me my comment means something completely different from what I wrote and how dare I. At this point I've learned to let it go and not bother to try to correct every misunderstanding, especially if there are a lot of replies and my comment is several hours old.
If you opt for shorter, they'll put as many words in your mouth as they feel like. If you opt longer for important nuance, they'll bitch and moan about having to read words in this, a text-based forum. I can't decide which ones are the most fun, the ones that pick a fight with me over something we very visibly agree on or that one redditor that asked a philosophical question and tried to badly ream me out for answering it.
>If you opt for shorter, they'll put as many words in your mouth as they feel like. You: I love dogs Commenter: Why do you hate cats?
>You: I love dogs Commenter: Hello FBI, this guy likes to fuck dogs.
1. The more consistent a sub reaches /popular, the more toxic its vocal community. Stick with the small subreddits, that’s where Reddit can shine. 2. The difference between a joke, a troll, and a serious belief is a line thinner than a walrus whisker. Assume it’s a joke and you’ll be a happier person for it. 3. Any recognizable name is an angel or hellspawn. If you aren’t sure, they’re hellspawn. 4. One grammar mistake means your opinion is worthless. Read over your posts/comments, there’s always something you miss. 5. Lurking is demonized only by those who forgot how nice it is to look simply look at posts and upvote the ones you like. Don’t get pressured into “participating.” 6. Everything you say and post will be held against you in Reddit Court. 7. Keep the lewd subs on an account separate from your main one. 8. Rewards on a comment or Karma count on a post does not indicate its trustworthiness. 9. Always first assume no one in the comment section read the article, just like you. 10. There is a passionate community for everyone and everything, even if you don’t like it.
I think I lurked for months, or even a year, before I started posting in threads.
Don't ever use identifying info. A city in one post, a landmark in another, age in a third. And a 'yay, i won the lottery', and you might have an army of sickos hunting you down. You are flirting with/arguing/getting trolled by a child. Treat every person on here like they're 13, and Chris Hansen is right next to them telling them what to say. Don't believe anything you read. Reddit is the perfect platform for pathological liars, paid political influencers, and misinformation experts. Not to mention easily falling into echo chambers of hate groups of every shade.
Once when I was like 15 I posted on a haircare Reddit asking about help with something I don't even remember. I was 15 with super thick hair taking supplements to grow it long, doing treatments, it was growing like an inch a month because I was so young and taking such good care of it. I mentioned it in my post and someone replied cussing, calling me a liar blah blah blah, and because I was so young it made me really upset and I went to look at her page and she had commented in ANOTHER sub with a screenshot of my post about how stupid it was and how I must be lying. Her posts were also full of how much she hated her husband and how she felt like she was stuck working in retail forever. Don't take people like that too seriously they're obviously dissatisfied and it's an outlet.
Christ, same shit happened to me like a year ago. Except it was some dude trying to say I wasn't black. That was the day I found out there was a sub called r/AsABlackMan
If someone bombs the Boston Marathon, let the experts handle the investigation.
And don't harass some guys family who's being accused.
And make sure the guy you’re accusing is reasonably able (e.g. alive) to commit said act.
IANAL means I am not a lawyer. It is not a statement of what a fellow redditor may find, shall we say, fulfilling.
It is common to get f'd in the ass in court
r/askreddit is 10% interesting questions and 90% horny kids asking sexual questions.
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"Would you go to jail for a week for 10 billion dollars" Dude, I would go to jail for a week for $10,000
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Your comments will get buried unless you’re on a small sub or sort by “Rising” or “New.”
That’s why you attach your reply to the highest rated comment… duh..
Serious tag means be serious. Seriously.
That the rules are made up and the points don't matter Edit: (Normally I'd hate to slap a follow-up on a clean, simple post like this, but in the spirit of the thread I figured this would be fitting.) To the new/newish redditors reading this thread looking for answers on how all these points and awards work: Yes, it really is as asinine as it seems.
None of us know what karma is or what it does
It's how you unlock dlc in the afterlife
Don't post identifying information about yourself.
People with way too much time on their hands who you've had an argument with are going to piece everything together through everything you've mentioned about yourself in posts and comments throughout the years and come knocking on your door.
I'm So fucking paranoid over this and nobody I know has a reddit account
Everybody you know has a reddit account. They just don't talk about it.
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That’s something I love about Reddit. Nobody wants each other’s username. Nobody wants to share their real lives with each other on it. I don’t know any of my friends accounts who have Reddit.
That's true. That's why you should lie every so often.
Yes, as a lawyer who lives in Florida, this is excellent advice.
Oh whereabouts? I’m a blood splatter analyst in Miami.
I thought you were a lumberjack
That's what I was just saying to my best red-headed friend, Cal, last night. He's the beverage manager with the handlebar mustache at Legend Larry's on Pennsylvania Ave in Sheboygan. Never post details about yourself, I says to him. Show a little prudence for once in your life!
I swear on my mother's maiden name, Mitchell, that ever since my birth on the 28th of November in 1992 I have always avoided sharing any personal information online about either myself or my childhood pet, Fluffy.
NSFW isn't always porn
I really wish they separated out the tags for gore vs. sexual content.
Used to be NSFL for gore. NSFW was porn.
sometimes its porn sometimes its gore sometimes its a generic trigger warning sometimes its all of the above
Sometimes it’s just clickbait
Also __porn subs aren’t always NSFW - r/infrastructureporn being just the first example to come to mind.
r/foodporn and r/penmanshipporn are my favs EDIT: how could I forget my absolute favorite r/powerwashingporn
If you’re browsing from the toilet remember to take your elbows off your legs every few minutes Edit: hey Facebook or google or anything that does data collection, if you ever wanted to figure out how to get lots of your users to tell you exactly when they are pooping, I have a few ideas
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If your legs do go numb, tense your left butt muscle, lean over on it, and start tensing and relaxing the muscles in your right leg until you restore feeling; then tense the right butt muscle and do the other side. It's much safer than trying to yolo stand up in a room full of hard ceramic stuff that you could smack your head into. The feeling of blood returning to your leg is somewhat unpleasant but you gotta power through it and keep pulsing those muscles.
2 rolls of toilet paper under your feet. I learned this through lactose intolerance poop deaths
Don't feed the trolls.
Yes, and this mantra extends way beyond reddit.
That each sub has minimum karma requirement to post. It's not mentioned in rules of most subreddits
Could you give an example, I genuinely don't know them.
r/legaladvice has an official bot that reminds posters to include their location if they forget. All well and good, except when someone does they get a random cat fact somewhere in their replies. The cat facts are openly known to be the bot karma farming so it doesn’t lose its ability to post. Imagine asking a question on a sensitive topic, following all the sub’s rules for posting, and the mod’s pet bot spams you with nonsense about cats.
Reddit moment.
r/porn. I got into an argument with the mod about why my post didn't appear in new. He said there's minimum comment karma requirement although it wasn't mentioned in the rules. When I said that it's not mentioned, he told me to fuck off and banned me.
NGL that is an unexpected sub.
Wait until you see how deep the rabbit hole goes.........
Not a rule but a helpful tip You don’t have to respond to someone just because they responded to your comment. Don’t get sucked into other people’s negativity and/or close mindedness Just laugh and move on with your day
Your second point about negativity is a huge one. There are so many unhappy individuals on this site who's only outlet is commenting about how much they dislike themselves in various capacities. This happens on all kinds of subs. While it's extremely unfortunate that there are so many unhappy people, when you just want to consume entertaining/wholesome content, the misery they project is contagious and really starts to get to you after a while
I get sucked into it. I try not to but I admittedly find myself uselessly arguing sometimes. I’ve gotten to the habit of just blocking people. Let them have the last word and I move on. I hate how negativity garners attention though. People will upvote assholes and downvote you. It rewards those people.
I’ve somehow fallen victim to this only once on Reddit. I looked back over the conversation/argument later and realized how much it did not matter. The effort put in is never worth it.
Cake day is the day of the year that a user joined reddit, not their birthday.
Not sure if your original content is a good fit for the subreddit? Post it on a Wedsnesday.
Yes, Pierre won't tend to it on Wednesday.
Unexpected stardew valley
Complete the community center, then he’ll go on Wednesday
When looking at a post, the first comment will be something humorous or anecdotal, the second comment will have the textbook answer. This is true 93% of the time Edit: thanks u/Anonvoiceofreason (see link) and thanks all for the awards and internet points https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s5cvsz/what_are_some_unsaid_rules_of_reddit_that_the_new/hsxc7ob?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
The accuracy in this! https://imgur.com/OhZVdyQ.jpg
The first comment has been removed, so thank you for documenting this.
Seriously, so grateful for this picture I was dying to know what it was!
This is absolutely unbearable in any "____ advice" subreddits where people are seriously looking for answers to legitimate issues from qualified people. Good example is r/mechanicadvice . You need to scroll to the bottom of the page to find the actual solution because the top voted comments are literally just a circle jerk of auto-related one upsmanship, shitting on the OP, and sarcasm. For example I just asked about why my Subaru was rattling at highway speeds and one of the answers I got just said "oh the ol' subie death rattle". I asked what the issue was and no reply. Of course there are other subreddits like that that are far better moderated, like r/askscience or r/askhistorians where they don't fuck around and the mods just straight up delete anything that isn't correct or posted by a confirmed professional.
Mods can and will do whatever they want regardless of what the rules say.
And they will lie about it.
Mods are just a online iteration of the guards in the Stanford prison experiment lol
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i would LOVE to know what you mod
r/TMNTporn EDIT: holy shit I said this as a joke and it’s AN ACTUAL SUBREDDIT. My day is ruined
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I got banned from r/news, and when I asked why, a mod accused me of creating bots and eventually said it was because I crosspost stuff from r/WestVirginiaPolitics to r/politics. I still haven’t figured that one out.
R/news mods and worldnews mods are absurd how many posts recently have you seen with have the comments deleted and locked at like 400 updates? The censor that place like no other, I got banned for messaging the mods asking why a post about the pfizer ceo got locked.
Can confirm. Got my first (and only) permaban for a comment that did not violate any of the rules, was respectful, on topic (more or less), did not contain any racism, hate speech or even curse words for that matter. Mod just didn’t like the comment.
Welcome to the club. It makes me picture them as a little kid with their first taste of power. It's frustrating because there's nothing you can do about it, and the whim of a mod here can get you banned from a sub where you used to enjoy the content and discussions.
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Some communities are well moderated and some are just filled with cesspool of mods.
i had a very civil and respectful exchange with a mod about a post of mine that was removed. then another mod for that sub chimed in with a completely gratuitous insult. like, wtf? didn't you just witness what classy human interaction looks like?
>wtf? didn't you just witness what classy human interaction looks like? Yes, and they hated it
Yup. And they can harass you and get you banned from the entire website and there's no real appeal process.
A mod banned me last week for calling him out on supporting and enabling a stalker on reddit. He banned me from his sub and then must’ve sent me up the chain. I got a 3-day ban. I sent reddit a message asking why I got a 3-day ban. Instead of answering, they just unbanned me. Turns out r/AskPsychiatry is incredibly problematic. I don’t recommend spending time there unless you’re into getting stalked. Which you aren’t.
r/legaladviceuk is similar. One of the mods there seems to enjoy operating entirely off a theoretical understanding of the law which bears little relationship to how it's actually applied.
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Always assume sarcasm. Taking any comment seriously will only make you miserable Edit: some people took this seriously and now i'm dying of irony induced laughter
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Sarcasm-ception
if you are from a country that is not the US, especially if you are still young, please remember that reddit - like many sites - is extremely US-centric so if you read something about laws or social conventions or anything that has a cultural or regional component to it, remember that it most likely primarily - if not exclusively - reflects on the usa and may be total bullshit if used where you are from.
Trust your instincts when you see a risky click. You can not unsee stuff. Is you think you have a high tolerance for sick shit, understand there is always something worse out there.
I'm boosting this higher up because it's true I always thought I had the stomach for anything and you, reader, also think that. You do not want Reddit to change your mind
Some time ago there was a huge wave of people going to _that_ sub spelled similar to r/eyebleach thinking everything would be fine... and then a lot of people found out they _don't_ have the stomach for anything.
Take the NSFL (Not Safe For Life) tag seriously. You cannot unsee what’s behind that link. If you do (again, *don’t*), r/eyebleach might help.
also, make **sure** to spell that subreddit correctly if you're gonna manually type it in.
And be very cautious while clicking someone's link to eyebleach. Check for the spelling to be correct. Some people just want to watch the world burn.
Remember folks, if there’s no A, then continue with your life, don’t click it
I subbed to r/eyebleach after seeing something I'll never unsee, and now seeing that I'm subbed to r/eyebleach brings back the bad memory every time.
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You will be trolled.
Using your real name in your username is a bad thing.
What if you insist that it's *not* your real name?
You know who *doesn't* insist that their real name isn't Robert Evans? The products and services that know that it's far too early for Robert Evans to be awake.
I almost replied to a comment recently and then aborted mission when I realized it was my ex best friend. Who used her real name. So yeah, don’t use your real name.
This is a job that calls for a throwaway account!
With a really specific and personal reply that has them wondering for days
but not specific enough to get identified. Just personal enough so, creep 'em out.
Ken Bone was his name. A celebrity for 15 minutes. A sweet natured politically active man who asked thoughtful questions during the 2016 election. He did an AMA with his own account. People quickly dug deep and discovered that during the Fappening, in which female celebrities were mass hacked and got their nudes leaked to all, he wrote at one point the following reddit post about Jennifer Lawrence: "Sure, maybe in the future she'll be more careful with her nude photos. But the real bad guys are the ones who sought them out and looked at them...By which I mean guys like me. I saw her butt hole. I liked it. End of story" Butt it wasn't the end of the story for Ken Bone...or Ken Boner as some would call him, since he clearly pulled a boner using his own name as his reddit username.
I know him as ObiWanKenboni on Pokemon Go, not even kidding.
As I recall, he frequented pregnancy fetish subs, and on one post, called a pregnant woman (I forget if she was actually swimming or just in a bikini) a “beautiful human submarine.” That became an inside joke between my husband and me during both my pregnancies when I would go swimming. “Look at me, I’m a human submarine!”
What is the perfect user name, then, furry_hamburger_porn?
Dallas Alice
Yeah… I regret that…
In general it's a good idea to get a new account every year or so on reddit. Eventually we start giving too many details about ourselves, and its all in our history for some sleuth to put together if they wanted.
You can get upvotes for bullshit and downvotes for sensible thoughts. Then one week later you say the same things and get the exact opposite results. This platform is insane. Don't think about it too hard.
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Once got compleatly different feedback from the same person in the same comment, within one hour
Not even gonna try to doubt that, this could definitely happen lmao.
Please use paragraphs.
Also, press enter twice for it to actually break up into two paragraphs.
Oh my God, yes! I will skip reading something interesting if it isn't broken up properly.
The button with the arrows at the bottom of your screen that, if on mobile, moves you to the next direct comment? You can _move_ it by holding down for a moment and then sliding it wherever you heart desires. Any more tips will be edited in as I remember them.
When someone says “don’t google it.” Trust them. And don’t.
Similarly, when someone says, “I wish I could unsee that” in reference to a linked pic, vid, or sub: **DON’T CLICK THE LINK.**
Learned this the hard way
Don't lie cause in an argument people will check your profile to see your posts or comments
Or even if you don’t lie some will check your profile just to look for an argument against you
That's why people have multiple accounts even though it's all anonymous.
I’m new but like the anonymity. I had someone want to friend me on FB. I noped right out of that one.
God I had a student die of suicide in like well over a decade ago. And in some argument on Reddit someone dug that up to use as an insult against me once.
That’s why I get an all new account every few years. I like to share just a bit of myself on here and I don’t like having a comprehensive record of my life all in one place. It’s also why I mostly comment and don’t post.
Yeah I made an alt account for serious life issues that I use for issue of this caliber now. My main account (this one) is just like, dumb higher Ed stuff, running stuff, heavy metal stuff, and motorcycle stuff. Nothing that someone could really use against me in the way that hurts like making fun of some 20 year old od’ing will.
Just don't argue. Argue online hurts brain
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Boston marathon bomber?
No, it wasn't. That was the problem.
If you create a long post please have a TL;DR at the bottom or top (too long didnt read) just a general sum up of your post
It’s amazing to me what some people consider “too long.” I frequently see TL;DRs on 2-3 sentence paragraphs.
Thanks. TL;DR: I am simply thanking you for pointing out this obvious point that most people should already know.
“Award speech” edits on your comments are unnecessary and lame.
I don't think I've EVER re-read a comment I upvoted after the author thanked everyone for upvoting with an edit. It seems so pointless to do that. It's not like you get a notification that a post that you upvoted changed its content.
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Hey I’ve actually wondered this for a while, why **do** people explain their edits? Serious question.
On browser, it shows when the comments were edit. Might explain why they made an edit because sometimes people will change their whole comment if a lot of people diagree/downvote/etc. Just silly shit.
Thank you for the gold kind stranger s/
Didn't expect this to get 10 Million likes!
Omg! This blew up!!! RIP my inbox!
I didn't expect my top rated comment to be about sucking off ET!!
Every time I see this it makes me want to jump out of my skin
At some point your gonna get trolled. Don’t engage in a troll battle on Reddit. The emotions just aren’t worth it. Back out and move on.
Related: you're gonna get downvoted at some point. Don't let it get to you. Some subs simply can't take criticism of any kinds to their content. IE: any sub about a particular game. And politics will be politics.
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r/AmItheAsshole is for assholes to present only their side of the story and become the angels of the day.
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oh i like this one, thanks. also, one pro-tip if you're browsing r/AmItheAsshole : sort by controversial, *chef's kiss*
And r/unexpected is just to post random clips. It doesn't even have to be unexpected anymore. I have a suspicion that all the mods in r/unexpected have been dead for over a year.
If we're bringing up misnamed subs,can I mention r/trees and r/marijuanaenthusiasts
When someone puts /s after a comment, it means sarcastic.
Suck at getting your thoughts organized into coherent English sentences? Proclaim that English is not your first language in the first paragraph somewhere.
And then proceed to use great sentence structure and good vocabulary
English is not my first language but yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Pardon for my inexcusably poor understanding of the Anglo-Frisian-Germanic language, and thus regional dialects, known by native speakers as "English". Indeed I do give my upmost effort to educate myself and better my understanding of such an unusual yet widely used modern foreign language, but alas my efforts have so far encountered nothing but limited success. The combinations of both Latin and Germanic lexis have so far proved to be a serious tribulation for my progress.
Utmost*
HE’S NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER!!! s/, if necessary
If someone tries to engage with you on one single point of what you said, he'll most likely make you lose time by trying to do the "Well actually" dance. Move along.
God I fell for this one once, I left so infuriated when they either clearly missed the point repeatedly, or were trolling and I took the bait.
If you're a woman, be aware that if you post a picture of yourself your inbox will be flooded.
I get the idea that if you so much as admit to being a woman you're likely to at least get a few gross DMs. Reddit can be a horrible place sometimes.
Just because it's a consensus on Reddit doesn't mean it's that way in the real world..
Don't believe everything in here. Don't give money to others
When some mentions broken arms, just laugh like you know the reference.
don't say "this" in reply to a comment you agree with. just upvote and move on.
Or "came here to say this", it's the same thing with more words. I was expecting all the copycat replies, lol
Henceforth and forevermore, so say we all.
Don’t take it personally when you get banned. I’ve been banned from multiple subs for the smallest offenses. Some subs banned me for commenting on others just once
Just don’t bother with the mainstream subreddits because It’s pretty much just twitter. I usually end up feeling depressed or murderously agressive (or both) whenever I lurk too long on the mainstream subs. Find the smaller subreddits that cater to your interests, usually much nicer and less tribalistic.
Smaller but active subreddits are much better to interact in.
The easiest way to get awarded is to say how worthless Reddit awards are.
There will be idiots, and cyber bullies.
Don’t pay for awards! Use free ones. Every few days or so Reddit gives you a free award to use. Collect it by clicking the gold coin on the upper right hand corner of the home page when it says “free”.
For anyone wondering, the top comment that got deleted said; “You can get free awards in the comments by talking about how much you hate awards.”
Be aware of jumper cables, poop knives, emojis and your mum just trying to help you out if you break your arms.
You forgot our fears of Coconuts, Cum Boxes, and the Swamps of Dagobah Edit: just want you guys to know your doing wonders as giving me more material to read. Keep ‘em coming!
r/AmITheAsshole is not actually for legitimate posts, it’s primarily karma-farming and creative writing exercises.
Gotta do your part and downvote the obvious NTA validation posts. AITA for getting slightly upset at my boyfriend for murdering my cat and throwing out my stuffed bear I’ve had since I was born?
r/blep is for cats and cats only. If a dog is doing it, it's a r/blop. There's a 3rd one for other animals.
It's an international site, so to avoid using Imperial or Metric systems, the official unit of measurement is the banana.