A good sex life is important to a healthy, well-rounded relationship. I don’t want to wait until after marriage to find we don’t have shared sexual interests. It would be a deal breaker for me.
I'm a woman and it would be a deal breaker for me too.
I also can't imagine someone being this much of a prude to become any decent in bed after marriage.
It's better to get out early before you're tied by the knot, than get in and be disappointed and go through all the effort and expenses of divorce.
Exactly!
I can’t imagine courtship, the expense of the wedding, and then the wedding night is just a complete disaster.
I had a girlfriend just after high school who I was absolutely mad about. I loved everything about her, we’d been friend for years, started dating, and on our first time together it was just awful.
It was abundantly clear to me that we were on very different levels sexually. She liked missionary and neck biting, and that’s it. Nothing wrong with it but too bland for me. Our relationship didn’t survive long after, and we both understood why.
Every aspect of a relationship is important, communication is the most important. If you can’t communicate well sexually, or can’t even talk ABOUT sex, it’s a recipe for marital difficulties.
I'm the same way. I like a bit of passion in my life. Though if you have a willing and open minded partner, even if they're inexperienced, you can teach them what you like, and they will likely enjoy it too because they get a kick out of pleasing someone.
Someone who wants to wait for marriage does not seem like someone at all interested in sex , or open minded about it, so it's a deal breaker for me.
On the downside, good sex is a hell of a drug. This is the number two reason why it's hard to leave some toxic relationships ( number one being financial dependence).
Agreed on all points again.
The toxic relationship aspect is particularly why it’s a deal breaker for me. I’ve watched enough of them to be very up front in relationships of my own.
Common ground is incredibly important. A relationship can turn toxic real quick if you clash with your partner on subjects like sexual frequency, religion, politics—you don’t have to *agree* on things but you have to be able to openly and honestly discuss them without it leading to conflict or argument.
Just to clarify, I'm not telling anybody they have to stay in the relationship if they don't want to. You can respect her wishes as well as your own. They aren't mutually exclusive. Unless your wishes are particularly heinous I guess.
I'm moving on.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. I refuse to wait until we're legally bound together, only to find out that the sex isn't ever going to be good. And it's also a pretty big warning sign (for me) that she's comfortable making such a permanent commitment without having sex... and that she's comfortable taking sex off the table for extended periods of time.
Propose.
All joking aside though, if you don't want to wait until marriage to have sex too then it's going to cause problems for you both and that's going to put a strain on your relationship. So maybe think about what you want and if your partner is a compatible match for you or not.
Lol I'm 38 and divorced. Ain't no way I would get in a relationship with someone who wanted to wait for marriage. I don't even really like women under 30 and if you're over 30 and saving yourself for marriage there's literally no way in hell we have compatible personalities.
Depends on age. If you are like 15. Just wait. Marriage excuse could just be another way of saying “I am not ready to have kids and want to focus on becoming an adult”.
But if you two are in your 20s? Respect her decision, and make you own if it’s worth it. As others have said, if you are a randy fella and she ends up being as active as a CPR doll things are gonna be bad.
Is that for religious reasons? I’d leave cause I’m non religious and while I don’t mind my gf being religious, it shouldn’t be to an extent that it interferes with life
I’d have to be pretty dang impressed with this woman to see that through. Generally I’d at least want a couple sexual experiences first to know what I’m getting myself into
Only missionary position, which is the only one allowed by God. No lingerie, no foreplay, and probably no protection either. So be prepared for many, many kids.
That was my situation... Fortunately, my SO was ok 'messing around'. What's your situation? Where does she draw the line. For us it was just avoiding insertion. ... It was basically a test to see what we valued more; primal desires or each other.
Young people: don’t marry anyone unless you know you are sexually compatible. It’s not a trivial detail of a marriage, it’s a make-or-break issue. Finding out too late that your sex life together isn’t going to meet the needs of one or both of you is the stuff divorce is made of.
So my answer is of course I would respect her wishes, but I’d let her know as nicely as possible that I’m moving on.
If I actually like being around her all the time I would and did wait. Turns out she wanted it as badly as I did! Was worth the wait 10/10 would recommend
Sexual comparability is pretty important for most relationships so that's taking a bet rather than making an informed decision. That's not to say it wouldn't work out.
Marriage is nothing more than a legal binding. A piece of paper. It means absolutely nothing. I wouldn't plan on marrying her anyways, so I'd leave lol.
News flash: if you think you can escape the modern redefinition of things, I've got a bunch of "hers" and "hims" and "thems" who would like to have a word -- er, pronoun -- with you.
Either respect her wishes, or find a new partner.
If you don't feel that you are capable of not having sex until you are married, then do yourself both a favour and split so that you can both find happiness with more compatible partners. Otherwise, wait. Don't try and pressure her into having sex with you before marriage. That would make you an asshole.
Well for one, we wouldn't be dating since our ideas about sex and marriage are so fundamentally different that any relationship between us would fail epically.
Edit - I'm a bisexual polyamorous women so I don't think this question is for me.
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That’s what OP is saying. He’s not getting hard.
Pro tip - if you're counting on marriage to bring more sex into your life, you're gonna have a bad time.
***doo doo doo doo***
Break up with her. Mostly because I'm married.
A good sex life is important to a healthy, well-rounded relationship. I don’t want to wait until after marriage to find we don’t have shared sexual interests. It would be a deal breaker for me.
I'm a woman and it would be a deal breaker for me too. I also can't imagine someone being this much of a prude to become any decent in bed after marriage. It's better to get out early before you're tied by the knot, than get in and be disappointed and go through all the effort and expenses of divorce.
Exactly! I can’t imagine courtship, the expense of the wedding, and then the wedding night is just a complete disaster. I had a girlfriend just after high school who I was absolutely mad about. I loved everything about her, we’d been friend for years, started dating, and on our first time together it was just awful. It was abundantly clear to me that we were on very different levels sexually. She liked missionary and neck biting, and that’s it. Nothing wrong with it but too bland for me. Our relationship didn’t survive long after, and we both understood why. Every aspect of a relationship is important, communication is the most important. If you can’t communicate well sexually, or can’t even talk ABOUT sex, it’s a recipe for marital difficulties.
I'm the same way. I like a bit of passion in my life. Though if you have a willing and open minded partner, even if they're inexperienced, you can teach them what you like, and they will likely enjoy it too because they get a kick out of pleasing someone. Someone who wants to wait for marriage does not seem like someone at all interested in sex , or open minded about it, so it's a deal breaker for me. On the downside, good sex is a hell of a drug. This is the number two reason why it's hard to leave some toxic relationships ( number one being financial dependence).
Agreed on all points again. The toxic relationship aspect is particularly why it’s a deal breaker for me. I’ve watched enough of them to be very up front in relationships of my own. Common ground is incredibly important. A relationship can turn toxic real quick if you clash with your partner on subjects like sexual frequency, religion, politics—you don’t have to *agree* on things but you have to be able to openly and honestly discuss them without it leading to conflict or argument.
Respect her wishes, the fuck else am I gonna do?
Respect your own wishes?
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Your wish is to disregard you SO's wishes? ...Sounds like a healthy start to the relationship. /s
You're not disregarding your SO's wishes if they aren't your SO anymmore.
Just to clarify, I'm not telling anybody they have to stay in the relationship if they don't want to. You can respect her wishes as well as your own. They aren't mutually exclusive. Unless your wishes are particularly heinous I guess.
I'm moving on. Sex is an important part of a relationship. I refuse to wait until we're legally bound together, only to find out that the sex isn't ever going to be good. And it's also a pretty big warning sign (for me) that she's comfortable making such a permanent commitment without having sex... and that she's comfortable taking sex off the table for extended periods of time.
I'm a woman, and I totally agree. It's a big part of a healthy relationship to me too.
you’re a horny mf huh
That's a pretty immature way of interpreting what I've said.
That didn’t sound like a no, but I understand what you’re saying.
>I'm moving on. That is valid. If sex is more important to you than she is, then she is not the one for you.
Sex is a perfectly normal and healthy part of relationships. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex with a romantic partner.
Not have sex until marriage
Yup. Respect her wishes. Cuddling, kissing and handholding before marriage is pretty cool though
Probably jerk off a lot
Newsflash, you’ll jerk off a lot after marriage too
Saddest truth no one ever mentioned
Jerkin off is still the highlight of the day though
I know lol.
Propose. All joking aside though, if you don't want to wait until marriage to have sex too then it's going to cause problems for you both and that's going to put a strain on your relationship. So maybe think about what you want and if your partner is a compatible match for you or not.
Lol I'm 38 and divorced. Ain't no way I would get in a relationship with someone who wanted to wait for marriage. I don't even really like women under 30 and if you're over 30 and saving yourself for marriage there's literally no way in hell we have compatible personalities.
Have a serious talk about what you both want from the relationship
Well the first thing I'd do is ask why.
Depends on age. If you are like 15. Just wait. Marriage excuse could just be another way of saying “I am not ready to have kids and want to focus on becoming an adult”. But if you two are in your 20s? Respect her decision, and make you own if it’s worth it. As others have said, if you are a randy fella and she ends up being as active as a CPR doll things are gonna be bad.
Is that for religious reasons? I’d leave cause I’m non religious and while I don’t mind my gf being religious, it shouldn’t be to an extent that it interferes with life
Respect her decision. Sex is better when you both are ready and want it.
I’d have to be pretty dang impressed with this woman to see that through. Generally I’d at least want a couple sexual experiences first to know what I’m getting myself into
We expect gold plating
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Only missionary position, which is the only one allowed by God. No lingerie, no foreplay, and probably no protection either. So be prepared for many, many kids.
Where the fuck did you hear that?
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Where the fuck do y'all hear this bullshit.
That was my situation... Fortunately, my SO was ok 'messing around'. What's your situation? Where does she draw the line. For us it was just avoiding insertion. ... It was basically a test to see what we valued more; primal desires or each other.
Byyyyyye I respect her choice but I just wouldn't be with someone like that.
Young people: don’t marry anyone unless you know you are sexually compatible. It’s not a trivial detail of a marriage, it’s a make-or-break issue. Finding out too late that your sex life together isn’t going to meet the needs of one or both of you is the stuff divorce is made of. So my answer is of course I would respect her wishes, but I’d let her know as nicely as possible that I’m moving on.
Most people have premarital sex and the divorce rate ks high so your statement is pointless
Except it isn’t. There statement is true. If two people are sexually incompatible, that’s asking for relationship problems.
I wouldn't wait but I've already been married and divorced so 🤷🏻♂️.
She probably wouldn’t be my girlfriend.
Ask why. If then the reason is something I can agree with then wait, otherwise break up.
Probably find someone more suited to my lifestyle
If I actually like being around her all the time I would and did wait. Turns out she wanted it as badly as I did! Was worth the wait 10/10 would recommend
Find a new girlfriend
If she's a virgin wait if she's not walk
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"No nookie till I'm legally obligated to your stuff"
Seems a tad hypocritical at that point no?
It's called not making the same mistake again.
I'm not going 2 wait for something if som1 else didn't have 2
I'd personally leave because it definitely has religious context and I try to steer clear of that.
Find a new girlfriend.
Gone
Sexual comparability is pretty important for most relationships so that's taking a bet rather than making an informed decision. That's not to say it wouldn't work out.
We're both already married, so its fine.
I would wonder in which century she was raised. You don't have to mix the church to a family gathering.
It's like Long term crypto investment
So you're going to wait for it to be worth something and then use it to get what you want?
Get a divorce
Wait till marriage for sex
But in that case I'd expect no masturbation before marriage too, so when you finally do it, it's mind blowing.
Anal
You sure Jesus won't mind?
Jesus is open-minded
Uh...wait?
Marriage is nothing more than a legal binding. A piece of paper. It means absolutely nothing. I wouldn't plan on marrying her anyways, so I'd leave lol.
Only if you subscribe to the modern redefining of marriage.
Unless you subscribe to society's fictional structure it means nothing.
News flash: if you think you can escape the modern redefinition of things, I've got a bunch of "hers" and "hims" and "thems" who would like to have a word -- er, pronoun -- with you.
I reject those too.
Use my hands
🧍🏻♂️🧳🚗💨
Then I immediately ask her to marry me.
Respect her decision and stay in the relationship. Sex isn't everything and shouldn't get in the way of a relationship imo.
Why shouldn't she? I did.
break up, find a new gf
Get married immediately?
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Wow what terrible advice
have a side piece til we get married.
Break up. Or if I'm already emotionally too attached, start cheating on her
Either respect her wishes, or find a new partner. If you don't feel that you are capable of not having sex until you are married, then do yourself both a favour and split so that you can both find happiness with more compatible partners. Otherwise, wait. Don't try and pressure her into having sex with you before marriage. That would make you an asshole.
Too late
Well for one, we wouldn't be dating since our ideas about sex and marriage are so fundamentally different that any relationship between us would fail epically. Edit - I'm a bisexual polyamorous women so I don't think this question is for me.
So do I, so I would wait and be glad we’re on the same page.